a boy as indecisive as nami was pretty unbearable to deal with for a lot of people. really, nami had trouble handling himself sometimes. it felt like he was always going back and forth on what he wanted, and his relationship with river was a prime example of it. heโd been the one to leave river, again, and yetโฆ there he was, knocking on his door and bouncing around on his feet while waiting for him to open up. he anticipated a day where the door would be opened only to be immediately slammed into his face again, but luck had, so far, been on his side. when it opened, that usual mix of regret and a series of apologies were clear in his expression - widened eyes that looked near tears and parted lips, as if he were surprised to see the person heโd deliberately gone out of his way to visit.ย โhi - uh, sorry for bothering you. my roommate wasโฆ being loud, and i need to study. like, really badly study, and the sounds were super distracting. kind of sounded like a tennis matchโฆ but a really boring one?โ he tilted his head in thought, crinkling his nose as he seemed to think over his description.ย โlike a slow back and forth, you know? uh - anyway, i was wondering if i could study in here? with you? i promise to keep quiet.โ // @riivvcrs
river had always told himself he was better off alone; and he almost believed it too. this sick sort of self-delusion only ever served to made him feel like an even bigger idiot every time nami walked out. he needed everyone else, including his own self-loathing brain, to believe that his life would truly keep on chugging along in a haze of caffeinated drinks and poorly rolled joints and dick jokes. he felt both better and worse when nami came back; maybe because river thought he didnโt deserve it, or because he knew exactly how it would end, since it only ever ends one way. and yet he lets the other boy back in without a second thought. so maybe he shouldโve predicted who was on the other side of the door- he hadnโt ordered any postmates today, his roommate wouldnโt knock, and who the fuck else would willingly visit river in his hole of a dorm. and yet he still struggled to veil his surprise when heโd been greeted by the boy thatโd willingly walked away from him time and time and time again. he let name speak his piece; he wasnโt listening, not really, anyway, he was too busy sinking into his own head, just like he would any time things with nami started looking up again. there was a beat of silence when nami finished his piece as river tried to shake himself out of whatever sort of sober stupor he had sunk into.ย โyeah, yeah, youโre uh-โ he sounded like an idiot. he cleared his throat before continuing.ย โyouโre good to stay here i guess-โ he turns to walk deeper into his own dorm, leaving the door open for the other boy behind him. heโs suddenly embarrassed by the state of his dorm; the half eaten panda express and half smoked cigarette visual hints of how his night was going thus far.ย โdonโt think iโm turning down the tv down for your nerdy bitchass, jim and pam are about to get married.โ
