Edward Nygma

“You’re just saying that. You’re trying to–I know you. You and your mind games. I’m not falling for it.”

“I’m remembering it the proper way. And–what are you talking about? Eddie–he meant well. He always did. He was just a bit faulty in his execution.”

“You have a faulty memory. Which–I suppose I can’t blame you for. You…A kind heart is more–that’s what one needs. They need to find someone with a kind heart–awkward as they may be. I can’t have that with you.”

“The only weakling I see here is you. You overcompensate. You’re doing so right now. You think you’re so strong but you’re not. You just like to believe that you are–or you like to convince everyone else of that.”

“I see no guest here. I see an unwanted trespasser. That’s about it.”

“Of course. The wallpaper here is lovely.”

*staaaaaaaaares*

“Very tired—preparing end-of-semester finals for three different classes will do that to a man.  And there’s still the matter of finding a replacement for our dear departed pyromaniac witch, Elith Pio.  I don’t suppose she’s taken it into her head to become a full-time rogue—have you heard anything?”

“Ah yes, the much put upon instructor. I’m amazed you’re still alive after all this time you’ve spent around all of that youth.” A grimace at the very idea of it. 

“Hmph. Thought I smelled day old tea.”

“So you weren’t the one feeling a bit intellectually peckish and deciding not to put away our copy of Oedipus Rex when he was done?  I thought you knew every variation of the Sphinx’s riddle.”

“Not until I can be sure you actually came to enjoy my company and not simply rearrange my shelves to your liking.”

“Me?! When have I ever done such a thing?” 

Nosey Riddlers should know better than to be snooping around in the bird’s privacy. 

Fortunately for Edward, the Penguin isn’t currently in the office, lest he winds up with a gunning furiously invading his personal space. He’s rather busy with an annoying phone call down the hall. 

A less intelligent criminal would go straight for the desk, rifling through everything, making noise, becoming careless as they searched. 

A clever criminal looks for the less obvious places to hide “the good stuff”. For instance ... under the criminal kingpin’s chair. Stooping, Edward first held a mirror under the large, well cushioned structure, carefully angling it around, looking for traps. Finding none, he next groped around under it, and then yanked out a small box. 

Shaking it gently, he grinned as it rattled with something. That something was just about to be discovered when ... 

Riddle me this? Who's lean, green and currently sneaking around in Oswald Cobblepot's private office?

“I swear I can feel myself age ten years every time you do that, Edward…”

@scarletexlibris