rickyisms

..IT'S THE OLD "KEEP YOUR FRIENDS CLOSE TO GET YOUR ENEMY'S TOASTER"

...NOT THE SMARTEST KNIFE IN THE DRAWER

BASTE YOURSELF, BOYS

“LOOKS LIKE A TROPICAL EARTHQUAKE BLEW THROUGH HERE.”

HOLD ON..YOU DO REALIZE THAT HE'S NOT GOOD AT SMARTLY KIND OF THINGS, HE CAN'T KEEP A JOB AND HE DRIVES LIKE AN ASSHOLE

OH YOU GUYS HAVE DINNERS DO YA? THESE ARE THE CHEAP CHICKEN FINGERS, YOU CAN TELL BECAUSE THEY HAVE THE TINY LITTLE CRUMBLIES ON THEM!

I'M NOT GONNA BUTTER-COAT THIS, JACOB. WHAT WE'RE ABOUT TO DO IS AS DANGEROUS AS FUCK

WHEN I WAS YOUNG I DID ALL KINDS OF CRAZY SHIT, AND I TURNED OUT WICKED

I CAN’T BELIEVE JULIAN BAILED ME OUT. I MEAN, HE KNOWS HOW COOL IT IS IN JAIL AT CHRISTMAS AND HE RUINED IT ANYWAYS! JULIANS UP TO SOMETHING, I FUCKIN’ KNOW HE IS!

ONE MAN'S GARBAGE IS ANOTHER MAN'S GOOD UNGARBAGE

TRINITY HAS GOT TO QUIT SMOKING.. LIKE I CAN’T HAVE HER SMOKING ANYMORE, IT’S RIDICULOUS. SHE HAD THE IDEA THAT MAYBE ME AND HER CAN QUIT TOGETHER, AND ITS KIND OF LIKE A GOOD FATHER-DAUGHTER THING, SO WE’RE GOING TO QUIT TOGETHER. WE’RE GOING TO GO ON THE PATCH.

HERE'S A THOUSAND DOLLARS DOWN, FOR HOOK-UP FEES AND SIX MONTH'S LEASE UP FRONT.

(to camera) WHAT! YEAH, LIKE YOU GUYS HAVE NEVER SMOKED A BUTT, EH? “OHH LOOK AT RICKY SMOKING CIGARETTE BUTTS!” I’M SICK OF THIS SHIT! I’M SICK OF YOUR TV SHOW AND I’M SICK OF YOU AND I’M SICK OF EVERYBODY! I’M MOVING TO TORONTO!

I JUST GOT WOKEN UP IN THE MIDDLE OF A GREAT DREAM AND I'M PISSED OFF!

THOSE THEM CIGARETTES IN THERE IS OUR LIFES

HOTEL SECURITY! THIS MAN'S DRUNK AS FUCK, HE'S ON DRUGS, HE'S A MALE PROSTITUTE. I'M GONNA ESCORT HIM OUT OF HERE!

THE THING WITH ME IS THAT I AM SMART AND I'M SMELF, I'M SELF SMARTED, BASICALLY, BY MYSELF, BASICALLY FROM NATURE AND SMOKING DRUGS AND DOING DIFFERENT THINGS I'VE SELF...LIKE SELF LEARNED MYSELF. AND THAT'S THE WHOLE DIFFERENCE I GUESS IS THAT I DON'T NEED THE BOOKS OR THE SCHOOLING TYPE THINGS. I JUST GET EVERYTHING ON MY OWN AND BECAUSE OF THAT I'M ALIVE RIGHT NOW, BECAUSE PEOPLE SAY BOOKS AND COLLEGE ARE FOR TO MAKE YOU SMARTER, BUT THEY CAN ALSO BE FOR TO MAKE YOU DEAD, WHICH IS WHAT COULD HAVE HAPPENED TO ME. MY BRAIN DOESN'T USE ENOUGH OXYGEN BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE THE WHOLE THING FILLED WITH DIFFERENT STUFF. AND IF IT WAS FULL, ITS ONLY PART FULL AND THAT'S WHY I'M ALIVE RIGHT NOW.