Ribosoons

—

“Hello. ER. Y/n speaking.”

“Lab. Chwe. Walang label yung pinadala ninyong specimen dito, reject na po ito.”

“Huh?! Anong reject, kay De la Cruz yan. STAT order ni doc check for cardiac enzymes.”

“Protocol lang, ma’am.”

Letche. Papaano ko sasabihin na tusok nanaman ako? Letche talaga. LETCHE!!!

—

“Y/n. Er. Cross match, on the way na ba?”

“On the way na sana kung hindi ka tawag nang tawag. Mag isa lang po ako sa lab.”

—

“Hello! ER department. Y/n.”

“Lab. Chwe. Hemolyzed ‘yung specimen ni Lopez. Paredraw po.”

“Chwe from lab maawa ka saakin please. May edema patient na yan, kalahating oras akong kumukuha.”

“Bababa na lang ako d’yan.”

“Really?! Ambait mo ngayon. Salamat”

Ambastos parin, binabaan ako telepono.

—

“Lab. Chwe.”

“Nauubusan kana ba ng sasabihin?” I instigated.

“Scam call ba ‘to? Telepono po ‘to ng hospital, baka karmahin ka n’yan”

“No! ER, y/n. Follow up lang lab para kay Castro. Titignan kung bumaba na potassium hehe”

“Sige dalhin ko na lang dyan” sagot ng lalaki sa kabilang linya.

Noong binaba ko yung telepono, nakita ko namang nakatitig na saakin si Gabby.

“What?” I asked.

“Chwe. Lab?” nakisap mata niyang tanong.

“Oo?” patanong kong sagot.

“Gago bababa ba? Crush ko yun! Papacute muna ako sandali” dali dali naman niyang kinuha pouch niya at kumuha ng powder, blush on, at liptint. Which is nag refreshed up naman siya. She did look good naman.

I tried fixing her hair kahit naman bun naman. Nilawayan ko pa nga thumb ko para ipahiga mga stray hair niya na agad naman niyang iniwasan, “KADIRI! LUMAYO KA NGA!”

Tinawanan ko lang siya at umiling at nag charting na lang, “naka face mask ka naman, papaano niya makikita?”

“Vibes, beb. Vibes,” and right on cue. There is a boy waddling with his small tackle box containing the medtech goodies.

“Castro?” ‘man of few words’ that is how I describe him. Laging bababa yan dito, one word one word lang. Maybe siguro lagi kaming puksaan sa telepono? Maybe.

“Gabby, kay ma’am Castro raw. Samahan mo nga si sir Chwe” tatayo na sana si Gabby sa puwesto niya noong nakita kong kumunot noo niya.

“Hindi ba pasyente mo si Castro? Ba’t inuutos mo sakanya?” sabi niya kaya dahan-dahan din namang umupo si Gabby sa upuan niya.

“It’s a privilege na may mata tayo, Chwe. I have piles of charts sa table ko,” sumilip naman siya sa table ni Gabby at nakitang may papels din.

“Samahan mo ako sa patient MO, please,” nag buntong hininga na lang ako at sinamahan siya sa bed ni ma’am Castro.

After naman namin makuha ang dugo ni ma’am ay narinig ko lang siya mag mumble at sabi, “see, it’s easy.” Na hindi ko na lang pinansin at pumikit para itago ang irap ko sakanya.

—

“Kay baby Jimenez daw,” wow wala ng hi, hello kay chwe ah.

“Bed 3” at ayun, tinalikuran na niya ako. CBC lang naman, kaya na niya yun.

Hindi nag tagal, nakita kong fast walk na bumalik si Chwe sa station namin.

Worried, I asked, “anong nangyari?” Kunot noo kong tanong.

“Umiiyak, kinagat na ako sa kamay. Hinahanap ka, nasaan daw favorite ate Y/n niya.” Natawa lang ako ng bahagya sa sinabi niya pero agad din ako tumigil kasi ansama na ng tingin niya saakin. Sorry. HEHEHEHEHE.

“Alam kong nakangiti ka sa ilalim ng mask mo. Samahan mo ‘ko.” Pag pasok niyang sabi sa nurses station at hila hila ako.

“Huy ayoko! Wala yan sa job description ko!” Sabi ko at umupo sa sahig para mahirapan siya hilahin ako. TSAKA ANO GAGAWIN KO DOON!

“Dali na Y/n. Ayoko na makagat, masakit! TSAKA SINO BA NURSE SAATING DALAWA.” sumbat niya saakin.

“Yun na nga Chwe, nurse ako. Hindi assistant mo!”

At wala akong nagawa, kandong kandong ko si baby Jimenez habang kinukuhanan siya ng dugo ni Chwe. Bakit? Nag ccause raw kami ng disruption sa station sabi ng head nurse namin kaya sinipa nako labas. This is kind of unfair if you asked me.

After noon, wala man lang pasalamat yung hayop na yun saakin?!

Thank you ha, Chwe. PWE!!!

—

“Y/n, ESI 2 yung bagong dating. Pa-administer O2. Pasuyo na rin 18g na suwero, in case mag transfuse tayo. Salamat.”

“Okay doc, on it na.” Sagot ko at pumunta na sa patient ko. He is quite agitated pero it’s ER, normal lang yan dito.

Ginawa ko ang routine pakilala ko, at kinabit na rin sa O2 ang patient ko. Inilabas ko rin naman ang pang suwero ko pero apparently, takot pala ang patient ko sa mga needles, naitusok ko na sakanya pero masiyadong mabilis ang pangyayari kaya natusok ako ng needle na winindraw ko galing sakanya. Maigi na hindi na out ang suwero kaya agad ko namang sinecure ang suwero niya at lumapit sa head nurse namin.

“Jusko ka Y/n, ‘di ka nag iingat.” sermon niya saakin habang tinitignan ang dinugo kong daliri.

“Ma’am, ano kasi, agitated na.” explain ko at nag buntong hininga na lang siya. By protocol, need namin mag patest sa lab pag may needle prick injury, pero follow up pa raw naman yun. So pinapunta muna ako sa mga nag vavaccine for prophylaxis vaccine.

Days passed, dumating ang araw kung kailan advised ako na mag pa blood test.

Pag karating ko sa lab, natanaw ko naman si Chwe na busy mag pipette ng mga specimen. Napabuntong hininga na lang ako at kumatok sa lab nila. Noong nilingon naman niya ako, nakita kong kumunot noo niya.

“Mamaya pa request ninyo saakin, may mga STAT orders pa ako.” Sabi niya habang patuloy parin nag ppipette at ‘di ako pinapansin sa window nila.

“Ako ang patient, Chwe.” Sabi ko at ipinakita ang hawak hawak kong request na lab na galing kay doc sa ER noong nakaraan. Binaba naman niya ang ginagawa niya at tinaggal gloves para tignan ang hawak kong papel.

“Na needle prick ka? Antanga mo naman.” Sabi niya at pinagbuksan ako ng pintuan.

“Sinabi mo pa.” Sagot ko. Dali dali naman niya akong kinuhanan ng upuan at pinaupo. Hinanda na rin niya mga gamit na kailangan niya. We sat there in silence habang inaayos niya ang mga kagamitan niya.

Nang maupo siya sa harapan ko, it was an opportunity for me to look at him do his work. Gabby was right, Chwe is indeed a fine man. He’s actually up to my standards, pero I don’t think we would work up. We quarrel like cat and dog to be honest.

Niwrap naman niya ang tourniquet sa braso ko at bahagyang kinakapa ang ugat ko.

“Mag iingat ka kasi Y/n. Kitang nasa ER ka, andaming unsuspected cases dyan. ‘Di ka pa sure sa mga final diagnosis nila tapos mag papaneedle prick ka lang.” Sermon niya.

“Things happen, Chwe.”

“Totoo naman. Pero extra cautious sana. Nag aalala yung tao oh.” Malumanay niyang sabi. “Tutusok na ‘ko, hinga malalim.”

Huminga naman ako ng malalim at tumingin sa malayo, “nurse ka tapos takot ka sa needle?”

“For someone na araw-araw ‘to ginawa, ‘di ka ba marunong mag therapeutic communication dyan?” Sumbat ko sakanya habang nakapikit parin.

“Pwede mo na buksan mata mo, tapos na.” Sabi niya habang maiging sinusulat pangalan ko sa tube.

“Wow alam mo pala buo kong pangalan,” amused kong sabi sakanya.

“Of course. Ikaw ang favorite kong nurse na tumatawag sa telepono eh,” mapang asar ata niyang sabi. Dahil ata tawag ako nang tawag para mag follow up ng request.

“Ewan ko sayo.”

Tatayo na sana ako para kunin lahat ng gamit ko para umalis nang naramdaman kong hinawakan niya braso ko.

“Y/n, sandali,” hesitant niyang sabi. Napatingin naman ako sa braso ko na hawak hawak niya kasalukuyan, at tinignan siya.

“Bakit?” Tanong ko sakanya.

“Sa susunod mag sabi ka saakin ha? Pinagpaalala mo talaga ako. Mag iingat sa susunod, okay?” I took a pause to digest what just he said at tinitigan lang siya thinking ano isasagot ko sa sinabi niya. Ang caring naman niya for someone na co-worker ko lang?

“Nevermind.” Sabi niya at bumitaw sa kamay ko. Dali dali naman akong lumabas sa lab at pag labas ko ay napahinga ako ng malalim. Kanina ko pa pala ako hindi humihinga.

Nang nilingon ko siya, nakita ko namang umiiling lang siya sa sarili niya at patuloy na nag ttrabaho sa sarili area niya.

Ewan ko sayo, Chwe.

—

Maybe it’s bad na understaffed and hospital na ‘to kasi why the fuck na yung nag iisang medtech sa shift na ‘to ay ‘di ako pinapansin? Kahit anong try ko isipin, hindi ko talaga mawari ano dahilan ng pag iwas niya saakin. May nagawa ba akong mali?

“Gabby,” mahina kong tawag sakanya. “May mali kay Chwe from lab. Tingin mo ano nangyari sakanya?” Sabi ko habang tanaw tanaw ko si Chwe sa bed 4 nakuha ng dugo.

Tumingin din naman si Gabby kay Chwe, “wala namang mali. Pogi parin. Ano ba napansin mo?”

Napailing lang ako at muling tinignan si Chwe. Noong nakita kong nag tama tingin namin ay agad akong umiwas ng tingin at nag tago sa station namin at hinataw ang ulo ko. Baliw ka talaga self no? BA’T AKO UMIWAS? EH WALA NGA AKONG GINAGAWA?

Dumaan ang ilang oras, lumapit isa sa mga doctor saakin para tanungin kung dumating na ba laboratory ni bed 4. Tinignan ko naman ang chart ng patient ko at nakitang wala nga.

“Sige doc, taas na lang ako tignan ko kung available na.”

“Yes please, thank you. Paupdate na lang pag nandyan na. Pasend na lang sa viber.”

And ayun, pataas nanaman ako sa lab. I mean lagi ko naman to ginagawa? Bakit ako kinakabahan?

Kumatok naman ako sa laboratory at nakitang pinagbuksan ako ni Chwe.

“Hello.” Ilang kong sabi. Nag titigan lang kami sandali na tila ba parang may tumubong sungay sa noo ko. Or baka may tumubo nga? Napakapa tuloy ako ng noo ko. Pero parang inaantay lang niya akong dugtungan ko ang sinabi ko.

“Ay. Ano kasi. Pinapafollow up ni doc yung laboratory ni Jaime. Available na ba?” Wala parin talaga akong mabasang expression sakanya! Bakit ganon! Dati inaaway na ako neto ah!

“Hindi naman sa minamadali kita, ano. Sadyang need lang na ni doc.” Panaragdagan kong sabi. No words, bumalik siya sa loob at pag balik niya ay may hawak na siyang papel. Babalik na sana siya sa loob nang hinawakan ko braso niya.

“Chwe.” I paused, gathering all my courage which he hummed in response.

“May mali ba sa laboratory result ko? Bakit ‘di mo ako kinakausap?” Lakas loob kong tanong. And there he looked at me… Offended?

“Really, Y/n? Out of all, yun pinili mo?” He is amused.

“Eh bakit nga?” Pilit kong tanong.

“Y/n, matagal na kitang gusto. Kaya kita iniiwasan kasi nahiya akong nag slip up lang saakin yun noong nakaraan. My confession should be…” he paused, “somewhat romantic.”

“Chwe…” I was speechless at this point.

We were interrupted naman nang may dumating na ibang nurse para mag dala ng specimen which broke silence saaming dalawa.

“Mag stay ka after shift mo, dadaanan kita.” Sabi ni Chwe saakin at bumalik na sa trabaho niya.

Shit, fuck, tangina, shibal?? Ano oa bang mura pwede kong gamitin. Ano yun?

Pag dating ko naman ng station ay inginudngod ko sarili ko sa trabaho, kinuha ko lahat ng mahihirap na gawain. Diaper change? Say less. CPR? Kahit walang kapalitan sige go. Charts? ‘Teh kahit ako pa mag chart para sayo. Kailangan ko lang madistract kasi alam kong si Chwe lang iisipin ko sa buong shift.

Dumating naman ang oras kung kailan pwede na ako mag clock out pero pinagdadasal ko na lang na sana di dumating kapalitan ko. Ready ako mag straight duty, maiwasan ko lang ‘to. KASI ANO SASABIHIN KO??? Jusko.

“‘Teh anyari sayo, bakit parang ikaw na ang tagapag mana ng hospital na ‘to ngayon. Nalaman mo bang nepobaby ka?” Chismis ni Gabby saakin.

“Gaga,” sabi ko at hinampas lang siya sa braso. “Naisip ko kasi na masiyadong kulang ang passion ko sa pag ttrabaho. Need ko ulit yung burning passion na tumulong sa tao.”

Gabby snort out laughed and said, “girl, as if. Tingin pay slip?”

“Labas ang payslip ko dito pre,” natatawa kong sabi habang nag fflashback saakin mga kaltas tulad ng sss, philhealth, tax, and friends. Letche tapos binabaha parin tayo? Crazy work.

“‘Di ka pa ba aalis? Hayaan mo na yan si Dianne, ‘wag kana mag endorse roon,” natatawa niyang sabi habang bitbit gamit niya paalis.

“Baliw, sumbong kita sa head nurse natin, tignan mo talaga.” Natawa lang siya at nag bigay ng flying kiss saakin habang nag papaalam. Tinanaw ko naman siya palabas at nakita kong nakasalubong niya si Chwe. Fuck. Natanaw ko naman silang nag usap saglit at nakita kong tinuro ni Gabby yung station namin. Double fuck. After noon, I saw him walk towards our station. Triple fuck.

Okay, y/n. Hinga malalim. Si Chwe lang ‘yan. Sakto pag ka exhale ko, nakita ko namang tumumbad sa harapan ko si Chwe.

“Y/n,” tawag niya saakin which caused me to jump in shock.

“Aatakihin ata ako sa puso.” Mahina kong sabi.

“Hindi ka pa ba uuwi?” Tanong niya.

And para nga naman akong favorite ni Lord, biglang dumating, hingal, si Dianne sa likod niya. “Y/n shet sorry nalate ako. Mabilisang pasada ng patients, ako na bahala.” Sabi niya at ibinaba lang niya ng mabilisan ang bag niya at umupo na sa harapan ko.

Natapos naman ang endorsement at kinuha ko na gamit ko para umuwi na. Well, apparently ‘di pa ‘ko makakauwi kasi inaantay pa nga pala ako ni Chwe. Sipag niya ha, nandito parin siya.

“Y/n,” panimula niya.

“Chwe.” Dugtong ko. HINDI KO ALAM BAKIT AKO KINAKABAHAN OKAY???

“Y/n, I would like to take you out.” Deretsa niyang sagot. Instinctively, like a stupid homosapien, tumingin ako sa paligid and gestured, “nasa labas naman na tayo?”

“My god oblivious ka ba or gusto mo itawag ko na lang sa telepono para magkaintindihan tayo?” nakakunot niyang sabi which made me laugh. Laugh as in snorting, increase intraabdominal laugh.

“Legit ba? Kasi papatulan kita kung ‘di ka talaga nag bibiro.” Seryoso kong sabi sakanya.

“Mas sineryoso ko ‘to kesa sa swimming lessons namin noong college ako.”

“Libre mo ha, kape tayo ngayon.”

“Kahit sa pang habang buhay pa yan.”

“Medyo excessive yun.” Sabi ko sakanya at tinalikuran siya habang nag lakad na papunta sa exit ng hospital. I felt him ran behind me.

“Yeah, that’s a bit too much. Baka isipin mo patay na patay ako sayo.” Natatawa niyang sabi.

“Ay hindi ba? Pwede namang umuwi na lang ako tutal gabi naman na.” Agad naman niyang hinawakan ang braso ko and with those puppy eyes. I think I found my weakness.

“I’m just kidding.” He said. Sinabit ko naman ang braso ko sa braso niya at sabay kaming nag lakad papunta sa kung saan man niya ako dalhin.

“So, ano nagustuhan mo saakin?” Biro kong titig sakanya.

“Oh, please. Don’t push.” Tinusok ko naman ang tagiliran niya na parehas din kaming natawa, “Dali na oh. Parang ‘di ka nag bebeg saakin kanina ah.”

“I was not?!” He retorts.

The ride there was long and treacherous, nothing like you had ever experienced before. You frequently used to ride horseback with your father, much to your mother's dismay. To see you sitting pretty in one of your finest gowns in a carriage brought her the utmost delight.

"You really do look lovely, darling.", she said.

She was a kind soul, your mother, but she never understood you much. It wasn't her fault, of course, and after your father's passing, she had tried to accommodate more to your needs, as had you to her.

"You've said that already, mother.", you said whilst giving her a small smile.

"Oh, I know...", she sighed, "I'm just restless..."

Of course, she was restless. If she weren't restless it would provoke you even further. However, you knew she wasn't solely restless. She was excited. She was excited because you had picked your clothes yourself without her having to ask you to wear something nice. That only happened on extraordinarily special occasions, although you must admit it felt nice to look pretty.

"... thank you.", you looked out the window to avoid her sympathetic smile.

The moment you told her of your plans to marry, she cried tears of joy. Partly because she was so happy for you. Furthermore, because she knew the kingdom would be saved. Outside the window, autumn had begun to take its toll on the poor trees. No longer green, they had taken on an orange color. Although it was beautiful, you knew that in a few weeks the orange would turn brown and that the trees' destinies were to turn into lifeless husks of the beautiful bloom that spring had brought them. Nobody questions the cruel cycle of the seasons because we have grown attached to them, it is the natural way of things. However, the seasons are purely a transaction. If it is true, as the ancients say, that every spring Persephone leaves Hades' side in the Underworld, then it is a trade between the King of the Underworld and the human race. We get to live with Persephone's beauty for half a year, and then we experience the same cold that Hades feels once his Queen leaves his side. The tale is tragic and has been adapted into many forms of storytelling. But, nobody ever asks how Persephone feels. Her body is used by both the people and the man she loves as pristine goods. She is torn: should she stay with the man she loves or should she help her people? This compromise between Hades and the people may seem like an acceptable prospect, however, every winter people are still hurting, and every spring Hades cries tears of sorrow and loneliness. The agreement brings equal pleasure for both parties, but it also brings equal pain. And let's not forget the Queen, who hurts no matter what she does.

"We're almost here, darling.", your mother interrupts your thoughts, and you are forced to drag your attention away from the trees.

"Indeed we are.", you hummed as you saw the castle, your new home, in the distance.

.⋆｡⋆☂˚｡⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆.

The castle had a homely look with many rounded corners. It gave you the impression that it wanted to look less intimidating. Your new family was inside, waiting for you in the King's throne room.

"Are you ready, my darling?", your mother came up beside you.

"Certainly.", you nodded, keeping your gaze fixated on the mesmerizing marble structure.

The large wooden doors opened for you as you walked up the steps, and, even inside, it seemed lovely. If you could, you would've taken a moment to appreciate the amount of art on the walls, not to mention the mural on the roof. There was no time. You could only walk past it. You came to a second large wooden door. You heard your name being presented on the other side. When the doors opened, you were almost blinded. Not only did the room have big ceiling windows decorated with golden arches, but the room was also almost entirely filled with mirrors on the walls. Instinctively, you straightened your back as soon as you saw your reflection. In front of you sat King Jeon, lonely on his golden throne. You thought of Hades again and that maybe this is just what he looked like. The man was huge, much bigger than you had ever imagined, and had a large grey beard. His crown sat perfectly on his head. From it, his grey hair was cascading down his shoulders. Once you were just a few feet away from him, you courtesied and bowed in respect. The King stood up from his throne and walked toward you. Never had you imagined that he would reach his hand out for you to try to shake it. Yet, he did, and you took his hand in yours. His hand was calloused and felt as if it was as large as your entire forearm.

"My condolences for your father´s passing, Princess.", he said.

His voice was deep and burly, and it reminded you of thunder. As you peered up at him, you couldn't believe his size. You had never seen a person this tall before.

"Thank you, your Majesty.", you said, trying to keep your voice strong.

"I am glad that such a strong woman could take over his place.", he said, "Your father spoke very highly of you whenever we met."

"He spoke highly of you as well, your Majesty.", you smiled at him.

"That's very kind of you to say.", his smile was surprisingly kind, "Now, I'm sure that you're hungry, and then I'll have the servants show you to your rooms. We can talk of business tomorrow."

The King gave you another warm smile and nodded to your mother as a greeting. You had never gotten to experience what it was like to live as a ruler. Instead, you had always found yourself in the position your mother was in now - ignored until the last seconds of the meeting. Still, your mother's smile shined brightly at you when you turned to follow the King out of his throne room. As you left you caught a glimpse of yourself in one of the mirrors that surrounded you. Deep dark circles framed your eyes, you could hardly recognize yourself. Now you understood why the King wanted to take the business in the morning.

You and your mother ate by yourselves. The rest of the Jeon family was already fast asleep, the King told you. As soon as you finished eating you were led to your room. When you tried asking for Eunji, they told you that she had taken her place in the servants' quarters already. They asked if they should wake her for you, but you declined and let another servant undress you for the night.

Your room was round, much like the architecture outside. The bed was in the middle of the room, and there was a small vanity table prepared for you, as well as a wardrobe and a partition wall for you to get dressed behind. The room's wallpaper gave the illusion of looking like velvet, and the dark red color accommodates nicely with the golden details. Most importantly, at one end of the room, there was a door leading to a balcony that overlooked the garden. The servant took off your outer layers for you and was about to leave you to take care of the rest yourself, leaving your nightgown on the bed.

"Excuse me...", you said before they could leave, "How can there be flowers in bloom in the garden? It's late autumn already."

"These flowers last until the frost starts to come in. The Queen likes to keep as much color in her garden for as long as she can.", the servant explained.

"Oh... thank you.", you said, "You may leave now."

The servant bowed and left you alone. You approached the glass doors, more of the flowers appearing in front of you. They had a vibrant purple and magenta color. It was late, but you just had to take a closer look. You opened the doors to the balcony and stepped out. It was cold, and the wind flew right through the thin material of your dress. Without the extra layers, the cold was much more prominent. But you didn't mind, instead, you leaned a bit further over the edge of the balcony to look closer at the flowers.

"Maybe Persephone left a piece of herself in this garden...", you sighed.

"You should go back inside.", you heard a voice from below you.

You quickly backed away from the balcony with a small shriek. It had merely surprised you to hear a voice in the dark, you weren't necessarily scared. In fact, you were intrigued - so you approached the edge again. In the garden stood a tall man with dark black hair. He was wearing all black: black pants, a black nightshirt, and black shoes. Of course, you hadn't seen him.

"Who are you?", you asked, "Why are you outside my window?"

"I didn't mean to be outside your window.", he said, ignoring your first question, "I like to visit the garden when the moon is out."

You looked up, seeing a slither of a moon there. A new moon. Looking back at the man, you smiled.

"So you visit the garden every night?", you asked.

"Only when there is a moon.", he answered.

"Then I will see you again soon.", you said.

"You might.", he spoke wearily, "Is that something you would like?"

"You seem mysterious. I like mysteries."

He let out a laugh, and you thought that you could hear the bells ringing. Like a silver spoon softly striking a crystal glass, that's what his laugh made you feel. Elegant and light. You wanted oh so desperately to hear it again.

"I heard you speak of Persephone before. Are you interested in Greek mythology?", he asked.

"Only a little.", you said truthfully, "I had a few books about it as a child. The story of Persephone stuck out to me."

"It's a bit romantic, I suppose."

"It's tragic.", you corrected him.

"How is it tragic?", he asked with an amused smile, "Because of the kidnapping?"

"Well, even if we look past the kidnapping it is still tragic.", you said, "She doesn't get to choose. Ever. The most she got to choose was when she ate the pomegranate. Other than that, it is decided for her that she has to travel between worlds. It is tragic because every autumn and spring she has to leave something important to her."

"Isn't it the best option, though?"

"No.", you shake your head, "I would've wanted to choose one of the two. Either having to give up my dearest, or to give up my people. Otherwise, I would have to go through the same pain every time I have to leave. While also, may I add, knowing that they are in pain as well."

"You would damn the world to an eternal winter to be with someone you love? Or break someone's heart to give the people eternal spring?", his eyebrows furrowed, "Isn't it selfish?"

"What isn't selfish?", you laughed, "Every action we take is selfish, whether we realize it or not."

"How depressing of a thought.", he said, "You don't think people can do selfless good?"

"I think people can try.", you said, "Trying is wonderful, in fact, but I don't think anyone can ever succeed."

"You have a peculiar mind.", the man muttered.

"So I have been told.", you said, "... do you know the name of these flowers?"

"It's Phlox.", he leaned down and picked a flower from the bushes, "It's a Greek word, actually. It means flame."

You watched as he looked around, and then took a sprung up your balcony. It wasn't high up from the ground, so he easily climbed up just enough to hand you the flower he had picked. Now that you could see him better, you took time to appreciate his sculpted features and piercing eyes.

"Thank you.", you mumbled.

"My Lady.", he bowed his head slightly before jumping down, "I wish you a good night's sleep."

"Goodnight.", you said and watched as he walked away, back into the castle.

When you woke up the morning after it was because someone was pulling your blinds aside.

"Good morning, Princess.", Eunji greeted.

"Good morning...", you sigh, "Did you sleep well?"

"I slept very well, my Lady.", she smiled brightly at you, "They are all so nice here. We had a wonderful time at breakfast. Oh, and speaking of breakfast. The King has called you to come eat breakfast with them. The entire family will be there this time."

"Right...", you groaned and sat up, "Did I bring any good gowns for this occasion?"

"You certainly did, my Lady.", Eunji happily walked over to your dresser and pulled out a light blue dress with poofy sleeves, "This is quite romantic, is it not? Perfect for your first time meeting the Prince."

The Prince. Prince Jeon Sungho. Your future husband. A sigh escaped your lips at the thought... and your mind couldn't help but drift to the man from the other night. What if it was Sungho? He never said his name, and with his beauty, he could definitely be a prince.

"I'll use that one then.", you said and got out of bed.

Seeing the castle in the daylight further gave you the impression that it was built to look welcoming. The windows were big, and the walls were light in color. It was such a drastic difference from the man you had seen last night. If it truly was the Prince, then he was a walking contradiction.

Eunji only left your side once you made it to the door of the dining room. When the doors open your nose was flooded with an amazing smell. Fresh bread, vanilla, all kinds of fruity smells, anything that would make your mouth water. You were starving.

"Ah, Princess Y/N, you made it.", the King said from his place at the end of the table.

"I'm sorry for my late arrival.", you said and made your way to an empty seat.

Before you could sit down, a man in front of you stood up. For a moment you thought it was the man from last night, but his eyes were different and he had a wider jaw.

"I am Prince Sungho, my Princess.", he said softly, "I am pleased to make your acquaintance."

"It is very good to meet you, Prince Sungho.", you said and tried your best not to seem disappointed.

The two of you bowed your heads as you sat down. His eyes were constantly on you, you could feel them practically burning into your skin. You didn't return his gaze. It wasn't because he wasn't handsome enough, he was in fact very handsome, but he wasn't the man from last night. It made you question who he truly was.

"Sungho has suggested that we go out for a ride after breakfast.", the Queen piped up, "Hopefully, my other son will be able to join us then."

"You have another son?", your mother, who was seated next to you, asked.

"Oh yes, we do.", the King said with a smile, "He's a bit more bashful than his brother, so he didn't join us for breakfast. Although, if you ask him - he will say that he was feeling sick."

"Do you think that a ride would be agreeable, Lady Y/N?", Sungho asked you.

His eyes were still burning into you, and it was almost difficult to return his gaze.

"Oh, yes. I think that sounds lovely.", you nodded with a timid smile.

The second son of the Jeon family was nowhere to be seen when you got to the stables. You had changed into more appropriate clothing for riding, which Sungho took note of.

"So it's not just the clothes that make my Lady so beautiful.", he said with a charming smile.

"I guess not.", you looked down at your clothes and then back up at him, "Thank you."

The Prince was handsome, kind, and loved to hear your opinion on many different topics. You found yourself drawn to him because of this. During the ride he showed great gentlemanship, helping you on and off your horse, and he matched his riding pace to fit yours. He was all a woman could ever dream of... yet you found yourself thinking of the mystery man from last night. The way his piercing gaze seemed to look into your soul, or the way his fingertips touched your hand when he gave you that flower that was still on your bedside table. You had thoroughly enjoyed the banter the two of you made, and not in the same way you could appreciate the way the Prince spoke.

Once the evening came you were excited to see him again. However, during the day dark clouds had started coming in over the horizon. It was raining heavily and the moon was nowhere in sight. You remembered his words: "I like to visit the garden when the moon is out". A sigh escaped your lips as you sat down on your bed.

"Is everything alright, my Lady?", Eunji asked.

"Oh, I'm just fine...", you turned to her, "Could you... perhaps keep a secret for me, Eunji?"

"Of course, my Lady."

She sat down on the bed beside you, as she had many nights before this. Eunji was as close as you had to a friend, and you always told her everything. You trusted her, and you had to tell someone of the man.

"Yesterday evening I was out on the balcony...", you paused and looked at her, "I saw this man there... dark hair, tall... handsome."

The rain started pouring outside as you told Eunji of the man. A constant smile was on Eunji's lips, clearly happy about you speaking of a potential love interest. It wasn't something you had done in the past, as you never bothered with it before. You thought you had your whole life ahead of you to deal with romance.

"I thought it might be the Prince.", you said which only made Eunji's smile grow wider, "... but it wasn't. While they were similar, he just... it wasn't the same."

"Oh...", her smile quickly faded, "I shouldn't advise you to have affections toward anyone but the Prince... but you seem very intrigued by this mysterious gentleman."

"I am, but it won't get in the way of my marriage. I promise.", you let out a breath that you hadn't realized you had been holding in, "I have gone too far to screw this up for a man I met once."

Your eyes wandered to the window, where the rain was still falling heavily. Eunji put her hand on top of yours, showing her support silently.

"I just needed to tell someone of what had happened.", you look back at her with a warm smile, "I cannot tell you how happy I am that you would listen."

"Of course, my Lady.", she said.

"I probably just got excited to talk to someone.", you reassured yourself, "There's not much else to it."

Eunji left your side to blow out all the candles in your room. You thanked her and bid her goodnight before she left. Laying in your bed, listening to the rainfall, and praying that you would never see the man again.

The doors to the dining room opened and you stepped inside. Unlike the day before, you were fairly early. Only the King, the Queen, and your mother were in the room.

"Good morning.", you said as you walked inside, "If I may, I would like to start presenting ideas of what we could do for the kingdom's-"

The door opened yet again. You turned around expecting your arranged fiancé but were met with another familiar face. The stranger from the garden. He looked at you, and you could tell he recognized you, but he kept quiet.

"Ah, finally!", the Queen stood up and motioned for the man in front of you, "This is my second son, Prince Wonwoo. Wonwoo, darling, this is Princess Y/N - your brother's fiancé."

Your mouth fell into a small "o" shape as you looked between the two. Without hesitation, Wonwoo's face fell into a polite smile as he reached to shake your hand.

"It's a pleasure to finally meet you, my Lady.", he said and kissed the back of your hand, "I'm sorry I wasn't here to greet you before, I wasn't feeling well. Although, I am in much better condition now."

You could hear the King chuckle behind you, supposedly at the fact that Wonwoo claimed that he was ill. His hand was warm in yours, and you wish he hadn't let go just yet.

"The pleasure's all mine, your Majesty.", you said and hoped that you didn't look all too flustered, "You missed a very nice ride yesterday."

"So I have heard.", he said, "My brother told me all about it."

As if on cue, the door opened again and Prince Sungho stepped in. Everyone greeted him a good morning, and you sadly had to watch Wonwoo walk away. He sat on the other side of the table, diagonally from you.

"So you wanted to speak of plans, Y/N.", the King said suddenly, "Please, do enlighten me."

During breakfast you told the King of the plans you had to make your kingdom blossom once again, which would in turn help their kingdom after your marriage was set in stone. Wonwoo's eyes were on you at all times, and whenever you would glance over at him you would stumble over your words. You didn't mean to, there was just something about him that made you incredibly nervous.

As soon as breakfast ended, Wonwoo was out the door. You didn't even have time to say goodbye. Sungho was quick to step in front of you, hindering you from following the younger prince.

"I heard nobody's given you a tour of the castle yet.", he held out his arm to you, "May I have the honor of doing so myself?"

You looked back at your mother, who was giving you a supportive smile, then back at Sungho. His eyes were much warmer than his brother's. At the thought of Wonwoo, you glanced over to the door he left through. Maybe you would see him again if you took this tour.

"You may.", you nodded and met his eyes once again.

"You've seen the throne room.", he said as you walked through the mirror-filled room.

"Why the mirrors, if I may ask?", you say.

"It makes the room look bigger.", he looked around, "I suppose one could also always know who's behind one's back with these mirrors."

A hum echoed from your mouth as you looked around. Sungho had been showing you around the castle. A quick visit to the servant's quarters, a look into the kitchen, the garden, the King's study, the drawing room, and many many staircases. Now you were back where you had started your story in this castle.

"Would you like to see the ballroom?", he asked and placed his hand over yours, which was still hanging on his arm.

"I would love to.", you gave him a polite smile.

The two of you walked across the King's throne room and through a grand door. In there was a big round room, the biggest room in the castle you were sure. The roof was tall and painted with beautiful images of angels and knights and other such things that one would paint on a ceiling. Surrounding the area were big pillars, on which leaned a smaller balcony of sorts. There was a small staircase to go up there.

"It's gorgeous.", you said.

"Does my Lady like dancing?"

"I do.", you nodded, "Although I won't say I'm very good at it."

"Nonsense.", Sungho chuckled, "I'm sure you're as good as you are beautiful."

You only smiled at him, for you had nothing to say back.

"This is the room furthest from the garden and your room in the West wing.", he commented, "So if there is a ball you can be sure that you will get the least amount of disturbance."

"What else is in the West wing?", you asked.

"Well, there's the library.", he pondered for a bit, "There's not much else going on in the West wing. We call it the quiet wing for a reason. That's why it's the best bedroom in the castle."

"You have a library in the West wing?", you almost gaped at him.

"Yes of course.", he nodded, "Would you like me to show you?"

"I would like that very much, your Majesty."

As you walked through the corridors together you tried mapping all the rooms out in your head. On one end there was your room, and this supposed library you had only just heard about, and on the other end was the ballroom. Outside the ballroom seemed to be another garden or a labyrinth of sorts, which you were told could lead you to the West wing's garden. How you couldn't understand quite yet. The servants' hall lay under the dining room area, which was accessed with a well-hidden door. The King's throne room was quite central to the castle, and in the North wing lay most of the bedrooms.

When you reached the library, Sungho opened the door for you. You basically flew into the room. Books were filling all of the bookshelves, which were as tall as the entire walls.

"I take it that you like this room.", he said with a chuckle.

"Oh, more than any other room.", you said silently and walked up to one of the bookshelves to look at the books.

Rustling was heard from beside you, and you snapped your head in the direction of the noise. Wonwoo walked out from behind one of the bookshelves. He bowed his head at you.

"It's my favorite room too.", he said quietly with a peculiar smile, "Sorry, I didn't mean to disturb you, I was just looking for a book."

He held up a purple book. You could only stare at him with wide eyes, at a loss for all words. Surely he must find you absolutely idiotic.

"It's alright, brother.", Sungho answered for you, "We are just looking around the castle."

"Ah... then you've been in the ballroom, I suppose.", he looked back at you, "It's really beautiful."

"It certainly is.", you managed to get out.

Wonwoo was smiling at you, but his eyes were still so piercing. You couldn't read him whatsoever.

Later that evening, you got ready for bed. When Eunji had left, you practically leaped out on the balcony in nothing but your silky, pale pink, nightgown. The moon was out, and you could hear someone whistling.

"The Lady returns.", he said as you walked out, "I thought I had frightened you the other night."

"The moon wasn't out yesterday.", you replied, "I thought you wouldn't be here."

"I left once the rain started pouring down.", he said casually, "So you're the Princess, huh..."

"I would have told you, but you wouldn't tell me who you were.", you said, "Prince Wonwoo."

He finally looked at you, only to quickly look away again.

"You should put something else on.", he took a deep breath, "It's not proper... and you're going to catch a cold."

"I'm not staying out here for long.", you shrugged.

"You're not?", he glanced at you, a slightly worried tone in his voice.

Oh. This isn't good.

"I mean...", you sighed, "I shouldn't be out here so late at night anyway. You should go inside too."

He looked at you, really looked at you. Everything around you just seemed to disappear. Only he was still there, and as he started approaching the balcony, much like the other night, you didn't utter a word to stop him. In fact, as he neared you hoped that he could finally close the gap filled with meaningless air between you. His hands gripped the edge of the balcony, right in between where your hands were resting. When he pulled himself up you stood face to face. You had never been this close to him before. He smelled of lavender and something dark and woody. His eyes were still strictly looking into yours, piercing through your soul. He opened his mouth to speak, and you looked down at his lips.

"I do not wish to cause you mental turmoil, but I must tell you that the moment I laid eyes on you that night I thought you were the most beautiful woman I had ever seen.", he spoke quietly and sincerely, "And if the situation had been different I wouldn't hesitate to try to win your affection. I waited for you in the rain last night, wishing that I could get another glimpse of you, to hear your voice again."

You sucked in a sharp breath and looked back into his eyes. His beautiful brown eyes. There was something so thrilling about having him so near, about him confessing his undying attraction to you. Your head was completely fogged up, you didn't know what you were doing, but your hands cupped his face and kissed him. He tasted sweet and reinvigorated, it reminded you of a lemon pie. His lips were soft and moved against yours with a slow, burning passion. Your hands traveled down to his collar, just to try to bring him a bit closer. But Wonwoo pulled away, his face one of horror as if he had just found something so very wrong.

"We shouldn't be doing this...", he suddenly said, "I am so terribly sorry."

You tried to stop him, to grab him, and tell him that no one had to know; anything to get him close to you again. He didn't listen. With fleeting footsteps, he left the garden. You looked over at the flowers. The weather had started growing colder, and with it came the frost. Much like you, the purple flowers in the garden had started withering away.

The next morning you asked Eunji to get you breakfast in bed and to tell the household that you weren't feeling well. You couldn't bare to come across Wonwoo again. You had never felt something so strong for another person, and you could never have him.

After breakfast, you put on a robe over your nightgown and made your way to the library. The weather was beautiful today, and you heard from Eunji that the family was going out for a walk in the nearby forest. That meant the castle was yours to wander, but you only wanted the library. As you walked in there, your eyes immediately landed on a singular book laying on a table. There was a couch near the table, and you took a seat and started reading. It wasn't anything interesting, only a book about some old war, but it was enough to distract you.

The door to the library opened and you locked eyes with Wonwoo. Your eyes widened as you quickly pulled your robe tighter around your chest. One of his hands was still on the door handle, the other one hanging by his side. You watched his hand grip around nothing before letting his fingers fall. Neither of you spoke, you only watched each other. Footsteps echoed outside the door, and you heard your name being called by someone. Wonwoo ran to you, pulling you aside and in between two bookshelves. You were shielded from the view from the door. Wonwoo's arms were tightly wrapped around your waist, your chest pressed against his. Still, neither of you spoke. You looked up at him with big, worried eyes. He swallowed and looked away from you. The library door opened.

"My Lady? Are you in there?", it was Sungho, "... strange. Brother? Are you in here?"

Wonwoo shut his eyes tightly in annoyance. Of course, his brother had seen him walk in here. He motioned for you to stay quiet, and left you alone to greet his brother.

"I'm right here.", he cleared his throat, "But I haven't seen the Princess."

"He chambermaid said she would be here...", Sungho trailed off, "Maybe she was mistaken. If you see her, please come get me."

"Of course."

The library door shut. You were left feeling breathless. When you turned around Wonwoo was right in front of you again.

"Do you always parade yourself around in such indecent clothing?", he hissed at you.

"Excuse me?", your eyebrows furrowed.

"What? Did you think I would walk in here and take you on the couch? Is that what you wanted?", Wonwoo's eyes were burning, but you couldn't tell if it was with anger or lust.

"I was informed that everyone had left the castle.", you said, "I wouldn't go out of my room otherwise."

Wonwoo quieted down, clearly flustered by his earlier assumption. You were left feeling like your heart would beat out of your chest. Truly, you didn't know what had happened to you. Any logic left in you had flown out the window, now replaced with attraction for the man in front of you.

"... about last night-", you started.

"I didn't mean to hurt your feelings.", he grabbed your hands, "As I said if the situation was different..."

His eyes trailed down your face to your lips, then down your neck, to your collar bones, until they ended at your exposed chest when he reminded himself to look you back in the eye.

"My Lord-"

"I am not a Lord.", he murmured and cradled your cheek in his palm.

"My Prince...", you leaned into his touch.

"Just call me Wonwoo.", he said, "Let's stop with the formalities."

His hand was so warm and soft. You pressed your hand to the back of his, just to bring it even closer to your cheek. As you peered up at him through your lashes you saw how his breathing hitched. Sadly, you had to let go of him. Your hands removed the one that he held to your cheek, and you dropped your arms back to your sides.

"Prince Wonwoo...", you said despite his request, "I think you're right. This can't be. Besides, isn't it foolish to act on feelings toward a person you've only just met?"

"I suppose...", Wonwoo looked away from you to hide his disappointment, "But I do not feel like I have only just met you, Princess."

"It does not make it any less wrong.", you murmured.

His gaze returned to meet yours. Fireworks set off in your stomach, and you wanted to touch him again. You wished you had never made him let go. This couldn't possibly be wrong if it felt so good.

"Let's be good friends.", you managed to say.

"I think I can manage.", he smiled.

Oh, his smile was so wonderful. It made you feel like you were taking in a fresh breath of air during a chilly summer morning. You wanted to reach up and touch his face, cup his cheek, and gently swipe your thumb over his cheekbone.

"To good friends.", you held out your hand for him to shake.

"Good friends.", he took it.

Autumn passed, and in came winter. Most nights you would sit by a big fireplace in the drawing room. The only big problem with the Quiet wing was its lack of places to put fires. Whenever you would go to sleep, you would put on at least two layers of clothing and have extra blankets. The balcony was always closed now, though you had many times thought of visiting Wonwoo out there. He was acting normally around you, although you could feel him watching you when he thought you weren't looking. Your method was working out just fine.

Snowy days pass and you grow closer to Prince Sungho. One evening you're sitting in the drawing room, in front of the fireplace, when he walks in. You watch as he approaches you. It's only the two of you in the room. He seems nervous.

"I really am embarrassed that your room doesn't have proper heating.", he said for what must have been the hundredth time, "The offer of changing rooms still stands, whenever you want to."

"You're too kind, Prince Sungho.", you smile at him before turning back to the fire, "But I quite like my room, and it's not all that horrible... I also have a reason to come in here every evening, where I may see you."

The Prince was surprised by your flirtatious advances, as he always was. You patted on the couch right next to you, asking him to sit down. At this point, you know just what to say and do to make him weak in the knees. Which you had been using to your advantage. With the attention of a man such as Prince Sungho, you cannot possibly begin to think about Wonwoo.

"I have loved to have you here.", the Prince says as he sits down, "Truly, it has been a gift."

"I have loved to be here.", you responded.

"... but I have yet to do the thing that I promised.", he pulled out a small box from his pocket, "I know that I've offered my hand in marriage for you already, but I want it to be official. I want everyone to know."

He opens the box and reveals a diamond ring. With his slim fingers, he picks it up. You smile widely and put your hand in his. His eyes ask you for your permission, and you nod. Slowly, he pushes the ring onto your left ring finger.

"It's beautiful.", you hum and watch the diamond sparkle in the light of the fire.

"It's one of a kind.", he muses, "Just like you."

You can't help but think of Wonwoo. How his eyes sparkled just like this diamond the night he had kissed you. When you look up at the man in front of you, it's not Wonwoo, and you have to face reality.

"We should start planning for the wedding.", you mutter.

"Soon, my love.", he holds your face in his hands, "I want to celebrate you first. We shall throw a ball in your honor."

"My honor?"

"In honor of our official engagement, then.", he gave you a toothy smile, "After that, I will give you all the resources to plan a wedding... I'll find the best people in the land."

You wondered what Sungho truly knew about you. How could he be so infatuated with a person whom he's only spoken to in person for a few months? How can he promise you everything when you still see a stranger when you look at him?

"I think I will go to my chambers, it's late.", you say and stand up.

"Sleep well, my Lady.", Sungho watches you as you leave.

After a few weeks, an entire ball had been planned and executed. It was the day of the big night. The evening would start with the King announcing your official engagement, and let the guests celebrate with a night full of dancing and wine. A group of maids had brought you a dress, a present from the Queen. The corset top sat tightly on your torso. The sweetheart neckline accentuated your collarbone area and the puffy, short sleeves gave it a romantic look. Flower prints in lace covered the top elegantly and subtly, which contrasted the many chiffon layers of the skirt. At first glance, the dress looked white, but it was in fact a light lilac color. As the maids helped you put it on, one of them gave you a note from the Queen herself.

I heard you like the purple flowers in my garden, so this will suit you well.

Your body froze. Only two people knew of your fondness of the garden: Eunji and Wonwoo. If Eunji had told her, she would've asked you first. Maybe the Queen had asked her not to tell, to make it a surprise... but if Wonwoo had said something it would be suspicious. You couldn't be worrying about this now.

"Everything is done, Princess.", one of the maids said in a soft-spoken tone.

"Thank you.", you did your best to smile at her.

When you looked at yourself in the mirror, you felt like crying. You should be jumping with glee at this moment in your life, but you couldn't bring yourself to do it. A night which was supposed to be about your engagement to the Prince, and so far you had spent most of it worrying about another man. You knew he would be there, and your mind had immediately wandered to what he would think of you - if he would find you beautiful. This was all so wrong.

They announced your name before you entered the ballroom. Whispers and gasps echoed through the large room as you walked towards the Kind and his oldest son. The King offered you his hand, which you took, and let him guide you to hold Sungho's hand. You looked out over the crowd, meeting star-struck and emotional faces. More importantly, you met Wonwoo's piercing gaze. As the King held a short speech in the engagement's honor, you never looked away from Wonwoo. Unlike his brother, he was wearing all black. His suit was lined with golden details, and a few golden rings adorned his fingers. He had a cape hanging over one shoulder, and a pair of well-polished boots. In a crowd full of white-clad folks, he stood out like a sore thumb. You wanted to tease him about dressing wrong for the occasion, but that would be too close to flirting.

"That is why I am happy to announce the engagement of my oldest son, Prince Sungho, and the lovely Princess Y/N. You have my blessing, and I know that this union will be a wonderful one.", the King brought you back to your senses, "To the happy couple! Let's celebrate!"

"Would you like to dance, my Lady?", Sungho whispered in your ear as the two of you walked out on the dancefloor.

You're already leading me there, it would just be awkward to say no now...

"I would love to.", you put on your best smile and got into position.

The crowd watched as you danced. After a minute, others joined in but you saw Wonwoo still leaning against one of the pillars. You locked eyes, and you couldn't look away.

"You seem distracted, my Lady.", Sungho said.

"Oh, I'm just... as I've told you, I'm not very good at dancing. I guess I'm just nervous.", you looked back at him.

"Don't worry, when you're in my hands you're safe."

"I'm sure.", you nodded and looked past him again, but now Wonwoo was gone.

The song ended, and Sungho eventually left your side to talk to some of his friends. You were left standing alone in a corner. Now that the announcement had been made and people had paraded you around, nobody seemed to care where you went. A sigh escaped your lips as you relaxed against the cold wall.

"Tired already?", a voice appeared beside you.

When you saw him your eyes widened, and you felt your cheeks grow warm. Wonwoo had looked good from afar, but this close he was truly a sight to behold.

"It's alright, I also usually keep to myself at these kinds of things.", he added.

"My fiancé just left me to talk to other people, and there's no one for me to speak with.", you explained.

"You can talk to me.", he gave you a delicate smile.

"... it's not weird for you?", you murmured.

"Of course it is. But not a day goes by where my life is normal or goes my way. You get used to it.", he held out his hand to you, "Am I worthy enough to dance with you, Princess?"

"People will see.", you looked out over the ballroom, nobody had seen you just yet.

"Then they will see two people dancing, nothing more.", he took your hand and put it on his shoulder, "You just think so because you want there to be more to it."

Wonwoo's put his hand on your waist, and with his other hand, he grabbed yours. The two of you swayed in the shadows, out of view from anyone else. Being in his arms made you feel safe like you could truly rest. When the song ended he let go of you but kept holding your hand. He bent down and placed a gentle kiss on the back of your hand.

"Thank you, Princess.", he said and took a step away from you.

"You're a wonderful dancer.", you let out a giggle, "You must be a favorite amongst the ladies."

"Oh, definitely...", he said sarcastically, "Especially the married ones."

If it weren't for the fact that your fiancé was approaching, you would've landed a soft smack on his arm. Wonwoo took another step back and greeted his brother.

"I'm glad you two get along so well.", Sungho placed an arm around your waist.

"Oh, he's a swell conversationalist.", you said and internally cringed at your words of choice.

"Really?", Sungho's eyebrows shot up, "I've never thought of you as the chatty type, brother."

"I have my moments.", Wonwoo replied, "But I should go. I hope you have a good rest of your night."

The rest of the night went rather smoothly. You were introduced to many people and danced with even more. From time to time you would catch a glimpse of Wonwoo, but not nearly enough for your liking. When the clock struck midnight, you realized that people weren't leaving yet. You asked Sungho when it was time to end, and he responded that it usually goes on until dawn. When you heard that you excused yourself and said that you would be leaving for your chambers early. You took the shortcut through the King's throne room, knowing that everyone else would be trying to leave through the ballroom's main entrance.

In the mirror-filled room, you caught your reflection. Your hair was in complete disarray, and your face had taken on a flustered color. Slowly, you approached one of the many mirrors. The door behind you opened, and when you looked through the mirror's reflection you saw Wonwoo.

"It's only me.", he said and closed the door.

His footsteps were slow, almost cautious. It was as if he was giving you time to tell him to stop. You didn't say a word. Wonwoo approached you. He had the same flustered look on his face as you did. It must have been the wine. It must have also been the wine that made you want him so bad. And, yes, it must have been the wine that made Wonwoo wrap his arms around your waist from behind. His large figure easily engulfed you, and you leaned into it. Wonwoo put his head on your shoulder and looked into your eyes through the reflection.

"I have been watching you all night, my love.", he whispered.

One of his hands pushed away the hair from the shoulder his chin was leaning on. His fingertips grazed your neck, making you shudder.

"I have seen you watching.", you hummed, "I was looking for you as well."

In a moment of pure bliss, his lips met your neck. A peck, that turned into two and then three. They were leading up from the crook of your neck to your jaw.

"You must be the most intoxicating goddess I have ever had the honor of being in the presence of.", he mumbled against your skin, "Have you seduced me, my princess?"

His princess.

"What if I have?", you smile at him through the mirror.

"I would have to tell your husband.", he took his lips away from your skin, much to your dismay.

"He's not my husband yet.", you sighed, "Let me take part in my freedom for a while longer."

"I wish to have a taste of you, my love.", he turned your head to face him with his hand, "Will you allow me the delight of feeling your lips against mine again?"

You didn't respond, instead, you pressed your lips to his greedily. Your body turned around to fully face him, and you pressed your chest against his. He pulled away to look around the room, and a paranoid feeling entered your chest.

"Someone could see us.", he said.

"My chambers are far away from the ballroom.", you take his face in his hands and place another kiss on his lips.

"I have heard that your chambers are freezing during this time of year.", he muttered against your lips.

"Don't worry, I will warm you up.", you smiled and grabbed his hand.

The two of you ran as fast as you could through the castle halls. His hand never left yours. You were lucky that nobody seemed to be around because you had a hard time keeping quiet. Laughs spilled out of your lips every other second.

When you reached your chambers, you locked the door behind you. Wonwoo's hands stayed on you every second and you loved the attention. With every step toward your bed, he placed another kiss on your skin. You were utterly drunk off of his contact with your body. Which is why a groan escaped your lips when he let you go. You sat down on the bed, both sleeves of your dress having slipped down.

"Tell me to leave now if you truly do not want me, my love.". he breathed out, "I will not hold myself back if we go any further."

"Please...", you grab his hand, "Have your way with me."

The very next morning you woke up to a sharp knock on your door. You stirred in your sleep, your hand touching a naked body beside you. Wonwoo was fast asleep beside you. A gasp escaped your lips as you pulled the covers up to cover your bare chest.

"Your Majesty!", another sharp knock, "I have to get you ready for breakfast!"

"Just give me a second, Eunji!", you shouted back.

Your voice woke up Wonwoo, who grabbed your waist to hold you closer. He was completely unaware of the situation you were in. In a hushed voice, you whispered to him that he had to get out of bed. With a grumpy look, he got up and gathered his clothes off the floor. Another knock scared you, and you ended up pushing him behind the partition wall. You put on your nightgown and walked over to the door, hoping that you didn't look like a flustered mess.

"My apologies, Eunji.", you smiled at her when you opened the door, "I was very tired from the ball last night..."

"I understand that my Lady, but you shouldn't lock your door when you know I don't have a key.", she explained with a worried look.

"I know, I know... I just wanted to be safe, you know with so many people around.", you lied right through your teeth.

"Well, we don't have time to chat. Let's get you ready!", Eunji pushed inside your room and walked over to the wardrobe.

You could see Wonwoo's feet under the small gap in the partition wall. Eunji handed you your slip dress and told you to put it on. In a state of panic, you went behind the partition wall and stood in front of Wonwoo so that his feet wouldn't be visible from under the partition wall. A sleepy smile was painted on his lips. He had only managed to put on his pants, his shirt still hanging from his hands. With an annoyed sigh, you took it from him and started pushing it over his head.

"Are you okay back there, my Lady?", Eunji asked as Wonwoo put his arms through the sleeves.

"Oh, I'm just... feeling a bit sick from the wine.", you stammered out.

"Well, if you need help I can-"

"No!", you yelled, "No, thank you. I don't need help."

"Are you sure you're okay?"

"I'm just feeling... self-conscious.", you shut your eyes tight, "Could you please put the dress on the bed for me? I'll try to do the rest by myself."

"Oh, my Lady, you have nothing to be embarrassed about.", Eunji assured you, "But if you wish for me to leave, then I shall. I'll be outside the door in case you do end up needing my services."

"Thank you, Eunji.", your breath hitched as you felt Wonwoo's hands on your waist.

The door opened and closed, and as soon as it shut Wonwoo pressed his lips to yours. You put your hands on his chest and smiled against the kiss.

"You're impossible.", you murmured softly.

He leaned his forehead against yours and looked deep into your eyes. A chill sent down your spine as Wonwoo started caressing your back. The warm glow of the morning sun filled the room and you found yourself feeling so unbelievably lucky.

"Last night...", he whispered, "Do you regret it?"

"I wish I would have done it sooner.", you admitted, "But now I must force you to leave, I'm sure people are looking for you."

"They can keep searching forever...", he muttered and kissed you again.

"People will grow suspicious.", you pulled away with a chuckle, "And as much as I'd love to keep kissing you forever, I have enough common sense to know it won't last."

"Let me at least help you get dressed.", his hands went to the hem of your short nightgown, "We don't want to keep your maid waiting."

"I'll let you help with the dress she picked out for me.", you said and pushed him out of the partition wall.

Your hands worked quickly to take off the nightgown and put on the slip dress. When you walked out you caught Wonwoo feeling the blue velvet material of your dress between his fingers. He handed you the dress carefully. The buttons in the back had already been undone, so all you had to do was step into it and pull the long sleeves over your arms. He motioned for you to turn around. Once your back faced him, Wonwoo slowly worked on buttoning the back of your dress. His lips pressed to the still bare skin where your neck met your back. The dress' collar was high, hiding whatever blemishes that were left from last night's activities.

"Leave the last few unbuttoned...", you whispered, "It'll be more believable that I couldn't reach."

Wonwoo hummed and took his hands away from you. Turning around, you stood face to face with the most lovestruck man you have ever seen. His smile was warm and inviting, creating small lines by his nose, and despite how wonderful this smile was you wanted to kiss it off his lips so badly. And in the beautiful morning glow, his eyes resembled portals of light that you would gladly dive into without questioning what could be on the other side.

"I'll miss you every second you aren't by my side.", he said.

"Can we see each other tonight again?", you asked.

"Of course."

Another harsh knock on the door, followed by a kind yet alarming voice that told you to please hurry up.

"Sorry, I got lost in my thoughts.", you responded but didn't look away from Wonwoo.

He walked over to the balcony door and opened it. You followed closer, leaning over the railing of the balcony as he climbed down. Before he could leave, he pulled himself up just enough to kiss you again.

"Goodbye, my love.", he whispered.

"I'll see you soon."

Yet another knock on your door. It made you laugh this time. You hurried inside and closed the door. As you straightened out your dress, the door was impatiently pushed open.

"I'm terribly sorry, Eunji.", you said, "I couldn't get the last few buttons done."

"You should've called for my help.", she sighed, "The Queen has asked for your presence at breakfast to discuss wedding plans."

The wedding. You felt your heart sink. How could you have forgotten about the wedding? One of your hands steadied you against your bedframe, while you held the other one to your stomach.

"Are you alright, my Lady?", Eunji asked as she finished buttoning you up.

"Just nervous...", you breathed out.

The wedding had a date. A month after the first day of spring, just to give enough time for preparations. You wished for winter to never end. Persephone could gladly stay by Hades' side, you didn't care. Even though the wedding was all anyone talked about, you hadn't accepted fate just yet. That's why, every night, you would drown your sorrows with the kisses of your lover. Every morning you woke up at dawn to spend more time with him before he had to leave. And when he eventually did have to leave, you could feel your heart getting ripped apart inside your chest. The constant ache only worsened when you were around Prince Sungho, as guilt had started plaguing you whenever you saw him. The Prince would take you out on rides in the forest, on promenades in the gardens, and he even took you on a boat ride once or twice. All of these exceptional experiences, and yet your favorite moments in the castle were those in your bed laying next to Wonwoo.

As spring approached, you grew more reckless. The constant need of being near Wonwoo only grew stronger, and you did everything you could to keep him by your side.

One evening, when you knew that Wonwoo would be going out for a ride, you walked all alone to the stables to meet him. The snow had started melting away, but you tried not to think about it. Nevertheless, it was still very cold outside and not warm enough for anything to have grown. The warmth of the stables welcomed you quickly, as you walked across the floors to where Wonwoo's favorite horse stood. Just as you were about to turn the corner, Wonwoo peeked out from the small room. A smile spread across his lips as soon as he laid his eyes on you.

"Is anyone else here?", you whispered and looked around.

"Only me.", he said and put his arms around your waist, "You must be freezing. Why would you walk outside without a coat?"

"I didn't think to get it.", your arms wrapped around his neck, "And I was in a hurry to see you before you left."

"I was going to go see you tonight, after my ride.", he explained.

"It would be too long of a wait."

"You're so impatient."

One of his hands cupped your cheek and brought you in for a loving kiss. He was so warm. You wanted to melt into him and nest in his chest, to always keep his warmth around you.

"We could run away, you know.", he murmured against your lips, "Spring is approaching, there's not much time left..."

"I don't want to think about it...", you put your hands on his chest to create some distance between him and you.

"Y/N, this is the first time we've ever been alone outside of your chambers.", he sighed, "When you share your chambers with... someone else, we won't be able to see each other like that."

"We can find a way.", you sighed.

"We could run away, my love.", he argued, "We would only bring what was necessary, and we could take two horses. Then we wouldn't have to worry about hiding anymore."

You took a deep breath, leaning your forehead against Wonwoo's chest. While part of you wanted to run away, there was still a big part of you that knew that you had a duty to your people. And that part needed to stay.

"No.", you shook your head, "I can't just abandon my kingdom."

Tears pricked the corners of your eyes. You grabbed at his shirt, partly because you were trying to make him stay close to you, but you also didn't want him to see you cry. As your first sob rocked through your body he didn't try to pull you away, he only held you closer. One of his hands soothingly caressed your back, while the other held onto the back of your head.

"I hate it.", you sobbed, "I hate it so much."

Wonwoo kept quiet but held you even closer. The stables were so unbelievably quiet, that you had forgotten you were even there. But the door opened, making the two of you quickly separate. Tears were still streaming down your face, and there was nothing Wonwoo could do to comfort you. You whispered goodbye and quickly made your way out of the stables.

After that encounter, you didn't stop meeting in public. Whenever no one else was around, you would take the chance to embrace each other. On this particular day, it was the library. This wretched, cursed day.

"Your chambers are just around the corner.", Wonwoo mumbled against your lips, "We could go there."

The two of you were laying on the couch, you on top of him. Your heart felt so full, that you didn't want to move. So, you shook your head at his suggestion and only kissed him again. His strong arms held you tightly against his body. Your hands were in his hair, trying to pull him closer to you. It was dark outside, so a few candles were lit around you.

"I love you.", you murmured, "I really do."

"I love you too.", he smiled at your confession.

"I wish spring never comes...", you sighed and put your head on his chest.

Wonwoo put his hand along your jawline and brought you back up to face him.

"Don't mention spring.", he said, "Just forget about it for a moment. For me, my love."

"For you? I'll do anything.", you grinned and pressed your lips to his again.

The door swung open and your heart sank to the floor. When you looked up, you met the eyes of your fiancé. His first worried look turned into sadness, which transformed into anger. Eunji came up behind him with a horrified look on her face, somehow it was both disappointed and apologetic. You got off Wonwoo and fell off the couch in the process, Wonwoo sat up and helped you to your feet.

"What is this?", Sungho said angrily, "Your chambermaid was worried sick about you, and here you are whoring yourself out for my brother!"

"It's not what it looks like, please-", you tried to plea but he interrupted you.

"I invite you into my home, I promise you all the riches in the land, and this is what you do to me?", he gasped.

"Brother, it's not her fault-"

"Oh, so this is your doing?", Sungho scoffed, "You can't have the throne so you decide to steal my future wife?"

"Please, forgive me, my Prince.", you got down on your knees in front of him, "I promise you, this will never happen again. I will marry you when spring comes, we can just forget about all of this."

Sungho only looked down at you, with so much hatred in his eyes. He looked between you and Wonwoo, studying the situation. Suddenly, you felt him grab your hair and pull you up to your feet. You could hear Wonwoo's protests behind you, but you tried not to think of it.

"Don't beg for me.", he hissed, "I want you to beg him to never come near you again. Show me that you're only loyal to me."

He turned you around to face Wonwoo. His eyes were full of tears and he seemed to be completely speechless. Your bottom lip quivered. What if you had just run away with him? Everything would've been okay now. You could've lived your life out with him in a small cottage in the middle of nowhere, where no one knew who you were.

"Please, never come near me again.", you sobbed out, "I don't ever want to see you again."

"Do you hear that brother?", Sungho taunted, "She doesn't want to see you again. So I suggest you pack up and go on a little trip. If you don't want this... mistake to go public, you will leave the castle until the wedding. You will not see her again until we are married."

Wonwoo didn't break eye contact with you. It felt like his eyes were telling you that it was all okay. That, despite having said a most horrible thing to him, he still loved you and that he understood your situation. He stood up and walked out of the room, bumping into his older brother's shoulder as he did so. Sungho let go of the grip on your hair and you fell to your knees once again.

"Get her to her chambers, maid.", he said to Eunji, "I have other business to attend to."

Eunji rushed to your side and held your trembling body in your arms the best she could. She kept on whispering apologies between her cursing about how you could have been so reckless.

"Princess Y/N.", Sungho said from the doorway, "I am doing you a favor. Do not forget this, as I will not forget what you have done."

He walked out of the library and slammed the door behind him. As his footsteps faded, you felt your body lose its strength. You could no longer sit, let alone stand. Eunji had to bring in more maids to help carry you to your bed.

Heartbreak comes in many forms, sometimes physical. You were sick in bed for days, not eating a thing. People grew worried, asking how the wedding would take place if the Princess wasn't well. They only thought you had an illness, not that your heart had been broken into a billion pieces. So they treated it like any other illness. Only Eunji was allowed to visit you, that is what you had requested. Although you heard voices outside of your room many times. Most of the time it was your mother, she was usually crying. Eunji tried to reassure everyone that you just needed to rest and that the sickness would leave your body eventually. One night, she was sitting by your bedside and washing your body with a cloth. You hadn't been able to move, which meant you couldn't bathe.

"I'm hungry.", you breathed out between chapped lips.

Eunji went into a frenzy as soon as she heard the words. You had pushed away any food that she had brought you, so your hunger was very welcomed. She put you back down against the pillows and put away her rag and bucket.

"What would you like to eat, my Lady?", she asked with happy tears in her eyes.

"Pomegranates.", you whispered and looked over to the balcony, "I want pomegranates."

"Oh... then I shall get you pomegranates, my Lady.", she hurried out the room and shouted down the corridor about the news.

The people were static, and people from all over brought you pomegranates. It was hard to get ahold of at this time of year, but people managed. If anyone knew what you had done, you wondered if they would be so keen on trying to please you. It didn't matter now. Soon enough, Eunji brought you a platter of pomegranates. They were displayed nicely, why you didn't know. There were a few sliced pomegranates, as well as a few whole ones, but most importantly there was a bowl of only pomegranate seeds.

"Here you go, my Lady.", Eunji sat the platter down in front of you.

"Leave.", you whispered.

Eunji nodded and quickly gathered herself and left. You stared at the red fruit in front of you. Persephone ate six of the twelve pomegranate seeds she was given and it gave her six months in the Underworld. With a trembling hand, you took the wooden spoon in the bowl and pushed many pomegranate seeds past your lips. It wasn't enough. You put the spoon away and grabbed a handful of pomegranate seeds from the bowl and shoved them into your mouth. The fruit's juices poured down from the corners of your lips, but you did nothing to stop it. You took more of the seeds and kept shoving them down your throat. The noises that came out of you were disgusting. Gasps and gulps and gargles, but it was drowned out by your thoughts. If you ate many enough it would give you an eternity with Wonwoo. The bowl was empty and, with desperate hands, you clawed at the sliced pomegranates. You ate the white meat around it if you couldn't get the seeds out, and when you finished those you tried to open the whole fruits. You were too weak to even try. He had to be by the balcony now, he had to. You pushed the platter away from you and ripped off the bed sheets. Delirious and quivering, you walked over to the balcony and pulled aside the blinds that were covering the glass door. It was day, but he had to be there already. You opened the door and felt the cold wind against your sweaty body. After finally getting out, you leaned over the railing. He was nowhere to be seen. You desperately looked around, feeling warm tears stream down your face. Eventually, your eyes fell on the tree beside the balcony. Small little green buds had started growing on the otherwise brows twigs. Spring is here.

"No...", your voice was hoarse, "No, no, no..."

You walked over to the tree and tried to pull all of the buds off, getting your hand completely cut open on the sharp branches. A sob came out of your throat as you kept repeating that one word. No. This couldn't be happening. It couldn't be spring already. You stumbled back and looked down at your scathing hand. Blood poured out of all the cuts and you felt sick. You hurled forward, blood-red vomit spewing out of you. All of the pomegranates escaped your stomach. They were rejecting you. There was no savior who could help you now. Everything around you went dark.

When you woke up you were in bed again, and your body felt much lighter. A man you had never seen before was sitting beside you. Eunji, who was sitting on your other side, explained that he was a physician and was treating you for your illness. He had been feeding you liquids to get your strength back, which was why you felt so much better.

"You are allergic to pomegranates.", he explained in an emotionless tone, "I'm guessing you've had one before, but because of the large intake you had a much bigger reaction. If you eat just a little it wouldn't be very noticeable, maybe a slight itch."

"How...", you had to clear your throat, "How long was I out?"

"A few days.", Eunji said, "Since you've been rapidly getting better, preparations for the wedding have started. They want your opinion on a lot of things... but if you would rather not see anyone, you can tell me and I'll deliver the message."

All hope was out. You had given up.

"No... I'll meet them..."

In a matter of weeks, the wedding was upon you. It was the night before, and you were in your bed. Preparing for your wedding had kept you so preoccupied that you hadn't thought of anything else. The knock on your balcony door, therefore, surprised you. When you looked over you met the eyes of Wonwoo, and your heart broke all over again. You pushed aside your blanket and walked over to the door. Wonwoo embraced you as soon as he could, but you didn't reciprocate.

"I've missed you.", he whispered.

"When did you get back?", you asked.

"About an hour ago.", he replied, "Listen, I know that last time I asked this of you, you declined... but this time I have a plan."

"Are you asking me to run away with you?", you murmured as he pulled away from you.

"Tomorrow night.", he said, "There's a boat by the docks, I'm supposed to go alone. We'll be on a different continent."

"You're leaving? Why now?", you cupped his face in his hands.

"My brother convinced my father that I should try being on my own for a while.", he sighed, "He gave me a chance to visit another kingdom we have a treaty with. Once we're there, we can go wherever we want - and nobody will know until it's too late."

"... I don't know if I can choose.", you admit softly.

You blamed everyone in the story of Persephone and Hades for giving her such a horrible fate, but maybe it wasn't so bad after all. Oh, how you wished for a compromise now.

"The boat leaves tomorrow night.", Wonwoo cupped your cheek in his hand, "I won't force you to do anything, and I'm not trying to convince you to go with me... I'm just giving you another chance."

With that, he leaned down and kissed you. It was soft and sweet. You had longed to kiss him again, but still, you felt so heartbroken. He whispered goodbye before disappearing into the night, you knew you wouldn't get another chance to see him before the ceremony.

On the day of the wedding, you could help but cry. Out of anger, sadness, and out of uncertainty. Anger because your father left you to take care of his mess all by yourself. Sadness because you didn't love the man you were about to marry. And uncertainty because you had no idea what choices you would make tonight.

People around you comforted you by saying that it was normal to feel nervous on the big day. You asked to be left alone with Eunji, and for her to do the rest of the preparations for you. She was silent as she was dressing you, and she only spoke up when she had started taking care of your hair.

"I feel guilty, my Lady.", she said.

"About what?", you said between sniffles.

"About that day in the library.", she frowned at you in the mirror, "I truly just thought you had gone missing."

"It's my fault as well.", you assured her, "I guess I should have told you."

She laughed and put a comforting hand on your shoulder, you put your hand on top of hers. The two of you looked at each other with warm smiles, like old friends do.

"I would have liked to know.", she eventually said.

"And I was dying to tell someone.", you admitted, "I'm sorry for not telling you."

"No, no... you did what you thought was best.", she argued, "... was he good to you, my Lady?"

You turned around in your chair and gave her a mischievous smile. Eunji raised her eyebrows and you nodded. Without speaking a single word, the two of you had told so much. Both of you busted out laughing.

"How did you do it?", she asked between giggles.

"He snuck in through the balcony most nights.", you admitted, "Oh, and he was so nice... I've never met anyone like him. He's quiet and reserved, but when he does speak he always knows what to say."

"Not to mention, he's very handsome.", Eunji added, and the two of you broke out into fits of giggles again.

This is what you wanted your wedding to be. You wanted to be able to giggle about what a handsome and charming man your future husband was. In the midst of your laughter, you broke out crying again.

"Oh, my Lady-", Eunji quickly grabbed tissues from the table, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have spoken about it."

"He asked me to run away with him.", you whispered, "Tonight. By boat."

"But the wedding-"

"I know, I know!", you whaled, "I don't know what to do!"

"My Lady, I don't know much about love.", Eunji crouched down in front of you, "But I can see it on your face, you truly love that man. That is something that no one can take away from you. If you decide to go or not... I won't judge you for it. I just hope you follow your heart. Do what you think is right."

You nodded and took the tissue she offered to wipe away your tears.

The ceremony went fairly quickly. You were lucky you had a veil because you couldn't help but cry once again, even if Eunji had given you a good speech beforehand. Wonwoo was in the crowd, you knew that, but you had no idea where since you didn't dare look. You had made up your mind, or so you thought.

You weren't going to leave with him, not at first at least. During the festivities held afterward, you watched as your now husband held speeches and talked to his peers. He wasn't your person. You knew that, and you were sure that the entire world could see that as well. So, when no one was looking you snuck out into the night. It was already late, and Wonwoo had left an hour earlier. But you just had to take this chance. You couldn't stay with Sungho for the rest of your life.

The white dress turned green and brown from you running through the mud. You had fallen down many times, and you were sure your legs were entirely scratched up. It didn't matter now, you would be with your love forever.

When you reached the docks there was no boat. If you squinted enough, you could see a ship in the distance - it was sailing away from you. You screamed, shouted, yelled, and ran as far as the coast would let you. But to no avail. The boat was gone. Wonwoo was gone. For how long, you didn't know. It was time to accept fate. Betrayed and tired, you made your way back to the castle. You had to ask Eunji for another dress.

Years flew by, and you got along rather well with your husband. You didn't love him, and you never learned to, but you did love the children he gave you. Three children: two boys and the youngest was a girl. They lived in ignorance, along with everyone else in the castle. Only you, Eunji, and Sungho knew of what happened in the past. You tried to forget. But when the King died one night while in his bed, you knew that you had to face your history.

He came in a boat, just like he had left. The years had taken a toll on him, but he wasn't any less beautiful. You wanted to embrace him but held yourself back by holding your arms so hard that your nails dug into your flesh. Wonwoo was only there for the funeral, then he would leave again. You tried not to think about it, or to see him as a stranger, but it was much too difficult.

The children loved him. Wonwoo was great with kids, reminding you that there was so much that you hadn't had the chance to find out about him.

After dinner, you excused yourself to go to the garden. The Queen had let you have it, knowing how much you loved to spend your free time there. Even if you hadn't expected it, you were very pleased when Wonwoo had come after you. Without a word, the two of you embraced, hidden by a large tree and the many purple Phlox. It was the middle of summer, so the green leaves obscured you well.

"I've missed you, so much.", he breathed out.

"Wonwoo...", you pulled away from him, "I want you to know that I tried to go with you that night. I was prepared to leave my life here for you... but I can't do that anymore."

"I know... I know, my love.", he cupped your cheek in his palm, "It's okay. I'm happy for you. You've done so well."

You put your hand on top of his and leaned into his touch. In the distance, you heard a child shouting for you. Another sigh escaped your lips, and you did your best to hold back the tears that threatened to spill out of the corner of your eye.

"I have to go.", you whispered out with a sob stuck in your throat, "But you should know that a day never passes where I don't think of you."

You walked away from him, stopping mid-step when he called your name.

"I never married.", he admitted, "I haven't been able to move on from you."