#hoshi fluff

Maybe it was his chubby cheeks. Or his constant smiles. Or his endearing demeanour. Yes, that must be it. Soonyoung has heard about how endearing he is countless times. That would explain why you never saw him as a man.

Okay, maybe he was being a bit too dramatic. But honestly, could you blame him?

It took him years of pining and being just a friend to finally get you to become his girlfriend (it still felt so surreal to him that he got lightheaded if he thought too much about it) and you never took him seriously!

He’s showing off this dance he choreographed to you and he only got 6 steps in before you were giggling at him and cooing about how adorable he was.

You were deciding on dinner together and he puffed his cheeks out, trying to explain why you both should be eating corndogs instead of pasta only to get his cheeks squished together and still being made to eat carbonara!

Could he ever win!?

And don’t get him wrong, he loves you with everything in him, his full heart and his whole soul. He adores the way your pretty face lights up and the feeling of your soft hands on his cheeks. He feels like floating every time your honeyed voice praises his cuteness and your perfect lips pressed kisses all over his face.

It was just that sometimes Soonyoung wished you found him manly. He wished that you saw that he was more than just a cute face and maybe feed his masculinity a bit. Like how you compliment Mingyu on his ever growing physique and tease Seungcheol about how long he spends at the gym. Not that he was jealous of course, Soonyoung knew that you meant those comments in a platonic way, he just wished you saw him in a similar light.

He was so deep in thought that he didn’t notice the front door open, you walking through with bags of groceries and your cellphone pressed between your shoulder and your ear.

He sits up from where he was laying down on the couch to look at you as you kicked the door shut with your feet and gave him a pretty smile before saying goodbye to your mother on the phone before stuffing it into your jean pocket.

Soonyoung gets up and walks towards you, grabbing the bags from your hand as you remove your shoes and slide your coat off your shoulders. You press a quick kiss to his cheek and attach yourself to him, your mouth pressed into the back of his shoulder through the fabric of his t-shirt.

“Hi baby,” you say, your voice muffled by his shoulder and the broad grin you were sporting. Soonyoung grins, placing the bags of groceries on the marble counter before turning and looking at you, head tilted. “Hey.”

You look up at him, chin tucked in his chest, your eyes wide and sparkling. You poke at one of his cheeks and Soonyoung’s smile falters but he quickly brings it back to normal and begins walking you both to the couch. “Why don’t you sit down while I put the groceries away?” 

You blink then nod and all but collapse on the couch, sighing loudly as you place your feet on top of one of the throw pillows sitting idly near the armrest. Soonyoung giggles before he catches himself and clears his throat, letting out what he hopes to be a manly chuckle. He didn’t see the way your head lifted up, looking at him confused.

“Work wasn’t great today?” He asked, opening the fridge to place a carton of milk on the shelves. “Horrible actually,” you correct, wiggling upwards to recline your head on the armrest.

He hums as he finishes putting all the groceries away and walks towards the couch to join you. He knelt on the ground in front of you, watching your nose scrunch up adorably. You peck his lips once. Then twice. And by the third time, he wanted more.

He caught your wrist in his hand and brought it to his lips, nipping lightly at the skin. “You gonna kiss me properly or what?” His voice was husky, his eyes half-lidded as he stared at you, lips still brushing your wrist. Soonyoung was the epitome of pure sexiness.

Or so he thought…

Cause before he could even process it, you were squealing and cupping his face, bringing it closer to your own so that you could press sticky lipgloss kisses to his cheeks which were now burning, not from being flustered, but from pure embarrassment.

“My baby,” you wail, pinching his cheeks before squishing them together, one of your hands on either cheek as you place kisses on his pouty lips. “You want kisses? I’ll give you kisses baby, oohhh soo cute!”

Soonyoung opened his mouth to speak but was once again cut off by you shushing him and kissing his lips over and over again. He sighed before he took your face in his large hands and forced you to sit still, looking up at him.

“Before you give me any more kisses, answer me this,” he said, watching you blink with confusion before nodding. “Am I manly?” 

Your lips twist and your eyes squint. It was obvious that you were surprised and puzzled, most likely wondering where this was coming from. “Manly?” He nods, awaiting your answer.

“Um… yeah you’re manly, honey.” He blinks, wanting more. “Like? Examples? How am I manly?”

Your lips part before curving into a small smile as you stifle a giggle. You’ve probably figured it out now but Soonyoung doesn’t care as long as you keep talking.

“Well,” you say, sitting up a little higher as you trace your fingers down his biceps. “You’ve got such nice, strong muscles. Every time we cuddle, they wrap around me so firmly, like you’d hate it if I ever got up and left.” His breathing hitched and his smile widened as he scooted a little closer towards you. If he was a dog, he’s pretty sure you’d be able to see his tail wagging excitedly.

“And you’re so husband coded, the way you always hold my bags, even if it’s a cute purse and how you always place your hand on my thigh while you drive. I also love how you dance baby, the way you move…”

You smile cheekily, choosing to leave the sentence unfinished and Soonyoung thinks he might die. “Okay, okay, that's enough examples for now,  just come kiss me,” he whines as you laugh and kiss him sweetly.

“Cute,” you murmur into his lips and this time, Soonyoung doesn’t really mind.

🍺

Jihoon’s call comes later than you’d expected. It’s almost two in the morning by the time your phone buzzes.

“He lasted longer than I thought he would,” you say, rubbing your eyes awake as you pick up.

Your friend just sighs. “He was so busy dancing that he forgot to drink for a couple hours. But don’t worry, he made up for it. A lot.”

“Oh, boy.”

“Yeah. I’m on my way. And yes, I can get him to your door; don’t worry.”

“Mhm. Thank you.” Jihoon must have had a rare glass of something tonight, because the fondness behind his usually-sarcastic tone is surprisingly evident right now. You smile to yourself.

“WAIT!” a familiar voice blurts over the phone, and you stifle a giggle. “WAIT! I KNOW YOU!”

“Okay, no, we’re done,” Jihoon says. Rustling explodes on the other end of the line, then Jihoon snaps, “Be there in five,” and the call drops.

Sure enough, five minutes later there’s a quiet rap at your front door, and you open it to find Soonyoung tumbling into your arms.

“Good luck, I’m sorry, and goodnight,” Jihoon sighs, sounding significantly more tired than he did five minutes ago.

Then Soonyoung bursts into tears, and you get it.

“Oh, dear,” you mutter, trying to hoist your much heavier boyfriend onto your shoulders. He’s very… floppy. “Thanks, Jihoon. Get home safe.”

“Yeah, sure,” he sighs, and then he’s gone.

“Soonyoung, baby, can we at least get to the couch?” you try, nudging the door shut. It’s much harder than it should be with Soonyoung’s whole body limp in your arms. He’s not even trying to stand.

“NO!” he wails, and then his whole weight drops to the floor with a thud.

You sigh.

“Soonyoung,” you start again, crouching next to the little sobbing lump, “what’s going on, baby?”

“I’m not your baby!” he whines, rolling away to starfish on the floor with his face in the carpet. You frown.

“What? I – okay. What’s going on, Soonyoung?”

He finally looks up at you, eyes bleary and squinting. “Jihoonie wouldn’t let me talk to my girlfriend,” he pouts, and everything clicks so fast that you have to bite your lip to keep from laughing. “And now I’m at your house, and like, you’re calling me baby. And I’m not!” he declares, one wobbly finger sticking into the air. “I have a GIRLFRIEND! And I am HER baby! Not yours!”

“Soonyoung,” you interrupt, lying on the floor so his face is only inches away, “I am your girlfriend.”

His little crescent eyes squint, and then blow wide. A few lingering tears drop down his cheeks.

“WHOA!” he blurts, lower lip sticking out from the way his jaw is squished into the rug. “YOU ARE! YOU’RE MY GIRLFRIEND!”

You giggle. “Yes, baby. I am.”

His feet start kicking in the air. He pushes his lips out in something like a duck bill, wiggling like he’s trying to get closer, and you snort.

“No kisses on the floor, Soonie,” you remind him, and his face falls. “We’ve gotta get you in bed, okay? C’mon. Get up.”

“And then kissies?”

“And then kisses.”

Soonyoung scrambles to get his feet beneath him, and you laugh, standing by yourself before helping him up.

You make it into the bedroom relatively quickly. The promise of kisses seems to spur Soonyoung on, although he keeps puckering his lips and leaning in. You have to gently nudge him away over and over, reminding him that bed comes before kisses, and then he redoubles his efforts to get to bed.

He pouts to no end when he has to wait longer so that you can wrestle him out of his clothes and into his pajamas. Then you make him brush his teeth and wash his face, and he whines the whole time, cheeks soft and squishy beneath your hands because you really don’t trust him to wash his own face right now. He doesn’t seem to mind, just sitting on the toilet lid and gazing up at you while his thumbs rub little circles into your hips.

Eventually, though, you pull back the blankets and dump him off your shoulder and into the mattress.

“Kissy time!” he chants, reaching for your wrist, but you have to shake your head one last time.

“No, Soon; I need to get some water in you.” You try to tug out of his grip, but he just whines, pulling you closer. How is he so strong even when he’s drunk? “Soonie, baby, come on, just let me –”

“No!” His hands are on your waist now, sliding up your back and pulling you down towards the bed. You barely manage to catch yourself, hands on the mattress on either side of his head.

Your breath catches, gaze dropping to Soonyoung’s plump, pink lips, just a breath from yours now. His eyes seem more alert now, and he’s just… staring at you. Breathless.

You swallow.

“Water, Soonyoung,” you say quietly. “Then you can kiss me all you want.”

“Okay,” he breathes, and you tear yourself away before you kiss him right then and there.

You hurry to the kitchen, and when you slip back into the bedroom, Soonyoung’s sitting up and waiting. He almost doesn’t look drunk anymore, not with the glint in his eyes and the steady hand he holds out for the cup. You give it to him, and he drains half of it before setting it on the bedside table with a thunk.

“Good enough?” he asks, his voice low, and you nod.

“Yeah. Just… drink some more before you fall asleep.”

A grin flashes over his face. Then he scoots back, propping himself up against the headboard, and your mouth goes dry at the way he beckons you over. Just a twitch of his fingers, and you’re crawling after him.

You’ve barely settled yourself between his legs when his hand curls around your neck and drags you in. His mouth meets yours, warm and soft with a hint of mint toothpaste, and he hums against your lips in a way that has your whole head spinning.

He pulls you down into him, and you go willingly. It’s not hard, when he’s so good at this. It’s slow, and deep, growing deeper when his tongue swipes against your lip and you let him in eagerly.

You break apart for a moment, just long enough to breathe, and then his hand in your hair is dragging you back in.

“I love you,” he whispers against your lips, voice low, but before you can respond, he kisses you, and you’re left whining into his mouth.

After another slow, beautifully torturous kiss, you pull away, whispering “I love you too” at last – but Soonyoung doesn’t answer. He doesn’t coax you back in, either. His hand slides down your back and falls into the blankets.

he’s singing, but you can barely hear his voice—already uncharacteristic of him on its own. he's spent every, single one of your birthdays since you've met obnoxiously scream-singing, arms usually wrapped tightly around your neck as he bent over you, caging you in from behind. whether it was in front of a party of people (like tonight) or just you two, he was always singing like the fate of your year relied on how loud he was in those first few moments of it.

he'd always press his cheek against yours, swinging you both back and forth to a beat only you two could hear. then, after the singing was over, and after you made your wish, he would press a kiss to your temple, wish you a happy birthday once more, and he would be the first person in your life to tell you they loved you in your new age.

so this silence is painfully loud. on top of that, he also doesn’t smile back at you, a faraway look in his eyes as he mindlessly sings. it’s like you’re not even there. it’s like he’s singing to an empty seat in front of a cake that definitely counted as a fire hazard.

things with soonyoung have been weird for the last several weeks. if you were being honest, things have been hard. you, of course, continuously asked what was wrong, and he, of course, denied anything was wrong. but the writing was on the wall: he dodged your calls, rescheduled hangouts over and over until plans just completely fell through, and hardly texted back anymore. it was clear to anyone with a pulse that he was avoiding you.

and when he finally invited you over tonight to blow out your candles, and you walked in, completely surprised to find your friends all gathered to celebrate you, you thought, oh, that's what was wrong. he was just planning to surprise me

you thought the awkwardness and flighty behavior was over. the surprise went well, he kept everything a secret—didn't spoil anything—and you were grateful. but here you two were, looking at each other from across the room like you were strangers. and you weren't strangers. kwon soonyoung is the most important person in your life. he's your best friend. and you're so achingly, painfully in love with him, this distance feels like it's slowly peeling every layer of you away and letting it disintegrate into thin air.

when everyone finishes singing, you clear your throat and try to force the smile back onto your face. you lean forward, careful to keep your hair from catching any of the candles, and you close your eyes to make a wish—the same one you've been making every year for the past decade you've known soonyoung.

i wish for the courage to love soonyoung loudly.

you open your eyes and you blow hard, cheeks burning when the absurd amount of flames won't go out. people giggle, and when you stop to take a huge breath, fanning your face from the effort, seokmin and seungkwan both laugh and lean in to help. the three of you get the job done, and they immediately put you to work cutting your cake while they help plate and distribute.

you lose track of soonyoung while on cake duty, and by the time everyone has a slice, any appetite you had for dessert is completely gone. you sink back into the seat you were in while everyone was singing, and you breathe shakily, trying your best not to cry at your own party.

did you do something? is he just getting tired of you? or can he tell that your feelings extend past friendship? after 10 years, did he finally realize? is this his way of letting you down without having to really do it?

you can't help when your eyes start to well with tears. you notice someone starting to look a little too closely at you from your peripheral—probably joshua, the most observant of your friends—so you abruptly get up, blushing when the chair almost falls over behind you. you go to the only place you know you'll be left alone in this huge apartment. it's the one place soonyoung doesn't let any of his guests go, except for you.

you all but barrel into his bedroom, quickly closing the door behind you and leaning against it. you made it just in time for your tears to start flowing.

soonyoung's room looks different from the last time you saw it. he’s a generally tidy person; of the two of you, you’re the messy one. right now, the state of his room feels like a reflection of your thoughts and feelings: disheveled, chaotic, and messy. he has clothes, both clean and used, strewn all over the place—the bed, the floor, his corner chair. drawers are thrown open, their contents very clearly rummaged through. he has a pile of empty water bottles in the corner, and his nightstand is so littered with random stuff, he has no room to even set a phone down. it astounds you enough that you momentarily stop crying.

you wipe your tears away, frowning at everything that has managed to change in the weeks leading up to your 30th birthday. this was not the way you wanted to start the new decade.

you hear a muffled cough and you're panicked to realize that soonyoung had the same idea you did. he's outside on the balcony attached to his bedroom, leaning up against the railing and looking out into the black night. he hasn't noticed that anyone has entered his room, and you're about to leave when something stops you.

"you're 30 now for god's sake," you mutter. "get a fucking grip."

you're tired of wishing for the same thing every year—wishing for something that isn't even out of your grasp because you could just decide to be brave. and instead of choosing to do that, you spent the last 10 years cowering behind the excuse that you desperately needed soonyoung in your life however he would take you, even if that’s just as his friend.

but if you're losing him now anyway, you might as well lose him for the reason you feared you would for the last decade.

you turn away from where you were about to escape back into the party, and you're joining your best friend outside before you can think twice.

he startles a little, briefly glancing at you, but when he realizes who it is, he simply looks back into the night. it hurts more than just being told to go away—to be ignored like this.

"what are you doing?"

"just needed some air," he answers quietly.

"no," you say, willing your voice to stay steady even though your eyes are already filling with tears again. "what are you doing? why are you ignoring me? why are you avoiding me?" you pause, taking a deep breath. "why are you acting like i'm not your best friend?"

soonyoung lives near the damn top of his pretentiously tall apartment building, and the wind is cold and biting up here, especially with how short your dress is. it doesn't compare to what he says next.

"because you're not." he says it the way he would say that he's having a good day. or that work was tiring. or that he wants to order food delivery. he says it like it's not something that has the power to kill you. “at least, i don’t want you to be.”

"what are you saying?"

you don't hear it, but from the way his shoulders dip, you can tell soonyoung sighs deeply. and it looks so sad and so spent, you have trouble grasping that you could possibly be the cause of whatever this is that's eating at him.

"what are you saying, soonyoung?" you ask more forcefully, unable to keep the tears out of your voice this time. if he was going to end your friendship, he was going to have the balls to say it to your face. you aren't leaving until you're forced to.

he turns away from the railing, pressing his back against it to face you. he slips his hands into his pockets and stares down at the floor. his eyes are just as red-rimmed as you imagine yours are, and you hate—you hate that your first instinct is to ask him what's wrong. to hold him and comfort him when he's the one who's telling you he no longer wants to be friends.

"do you remember your 23rd birthday?" he asks, voice gravely with emotion, as if he’s spent the entirety of the last few weeks crying. your chest hurts. maybe he has.

you turned 23 in the philippines. soonyoung has always had more money than he knew what to do with, and he has always been uncomfortably generous with it—at least when it came to you. and that year, he surprised you with a month-long trip that ended the weekend of your birthday, where you both found yourselves on a beach in siquijor, sharing an alcoholic mango smoothie and a small ube cake that soonyoung had gotten for you.

you knew you loved him long before then, but you remember that birthday being one of your most miserable, solely because it was the best. and it was what you wanted with soonyoung, but you could only have it as his best friend. you had never felt so loved and so lonely at the same time.

"siquijor. what about it?" you ask, a little irritated. if you were going to have your heart stomped on the moment you turned 30, you'd rather he just get on with it.

soonyoung smiles for the first time tonight, but you hate it. it's half-assed, sad—and not just sad, but nostalgic sad—and it's being wasted on the floor.

"do you remember why you cried that morning?"

he uses the term morning loosely. it was 4 a.m., so yes, morning, but also no, not morning because you had both stayed up all night. and unfortunately, he had gotten you several more alcoholic drinks before the bar closed, and you were all but blacked out by 2 a.m. you only know that because your last selfie on your phone was time stamped just before two.

you wouldn't have believed him when he insisted you were conscious that entire time if he hadn't shown you videos of you passionately trying to convince him that in another life, he could've been a k-pop idol.

you hardly believe him now because you don't remember crying at all. and he certainly never told you that you had.

"i..." you don't know what to say.

"you don't," he confirms, sounding bitter. "it's okay. i had a feeling you didn't."

you frown, eyes falling to the spot on the floor you're sure is the same one he's been staring at. you don't realize you're shivering as violently as you are until you see soonyoung's feet step into your line of vision, his jacket slipping across your shoulders.

large hands carefully adjust the jacket around your neck and when they're done, they gently grip the lapel and hang there, dead weight against your sternum. you dare to look up and find that he still refuses to look you in the eye, instead staring at his own hands.

the wind isn't what's making you shake, and the jacket doesn't help it stop.

"you said you were lonely," he informs you quietly. he sounds as choked up as you feel, like you're both battling the same stubborn knot in your throat. "you told me that this was everything you could have ever wanted—that you were so happy and it was the best month of your life. and you told me..." he breathes deeply and sniffles before continuing. you look up and watch his eyes fill with tears. "you told me you just wish you were experiencing it with someone you were in love with instead."

you involuntarily let out a strangled noise, feeling like that knot is suddenly demanding to be let out. “i—what?”

there’s that horrible smile again. “i tried not to let it hurt me,” he admits. “i tried to be a good sport. you were drunk, you were sad about never having had a boyfriend, and i know you weren’t trying to hurt me.”

your stomach turns painfully and you’re glad you didn’t have cake, otherwise it might’ve been regurgitated all over soonyoung by now.

you never had a lack of suitors or options; you just knew it would be impossible to look at anyone else, let alone be in love with them, while you were so preoccupied with your best friend. until now, you still haven’t ever had a boyfriend, still haven’t even had your first kiss, still haven’t felt what it’s like to have someone tell you “i love you” romantically.

soonyoung takes a watery breath, lips trembling, as the first of his tears begin to streak his cheeks. “but it hurt,” he can’t speak above a whisper. “it hurt more than anything i’ve ever felt, y/n.”

your hands close over his, more out of instinct than anything else, and you hold them like it’s the only thing that will keep him from running out of your life. you hate that, among all the warring emotions inside you, you suddenly feel hope blooming over everything. saying that only would’ve hurt soonyoung if he wanted to be the person you were in love with. right?

“soonyoung.” his name comes out of your mouth with sharp, desperate edges around it. “that’s not what i meant. i—”

“it’s okay, i’ve had time to—”

“but if you would just let me ex—”

“there’s nothing to explain,” he says quietly, finally, finally meeting your gaze. “i stayed around, didn’t i?”

the question shuts you up. or maybe it’s the way his eyes are swimming with pain you realized he’s been harboring for much longer than the last few weeks.

“i stayed for seven more years. if i needed you to explain, i would’ve asked the second you woke up sober.”

your hope deflates. the way he says the number of years makes it sound like that’s all it will ever be now. seven years. the last birthday he’ll be sticking around for.

“only seven?” you ask quietly.

you feel his fists tighten around the fabric of his own jacket briefly before his hands slip away from under you, retreating back into his pockets. you feel so cold.

he doesn’t answer, and that feels like an answer in itself. “instead of throwing myself a pity party, i decided i’d wait until your 30th birthday,” he tells you. “i didn’t mind spending all of my 20s pining after my best friend.”

your heart leaps into your throat.

“i didn’t mind waiting seven more years to see if you would ever return my feelings,” he says, voice shakier and shakier as he continues. “my friends, they told me i was insane for letting my 20s go to waste like that. but to me… if i still got to be around you, still give you experiences and love that made you feel like that’s what you deserved from someone you actually were in love with, then… i can’t see the issue in that. i’d happily wait seven more years. because even if it was seven years of the same longing—and even if it was seven years leading to nothing more, it was still seven years of me being able to show you how well i could… how well i could love you. how much i do love you.”

it strikes you then that the way soonyoung looks at you isn’t a way that anybody has ever looked at you. you used to think it was the delusion of being in love with him—that your brain was tricking you into thinking he felt a certain way about you because that would be convenient for you. but standing here, pinned down by his gaze, you have no choice but to accept that it was clearly in front of you this whole time.

“soonie—”

he keeps going like if he lets you speak, he won’t ever be able to muster up the courage to say this again, and you realize you both did waste your 20s. you wasted it being afraid of just telling each other how you felt. the fact that you could’ve had soonyoung the way you’ve always wanted since you were 23 devastates you.

“but i told myself… while you slept in my lap on that beach in siquijor, that if by the time you turned 30, we still hadn’t moved past… this…” he looks away again, opting to stare at something over your head. “then, i wouldn’t spend my 30s torturing myself anymore. i’d let you go.”

“i don’t want you to let me go!” you practically shriek. he flinches at the sudden outburst, his eyes snapping back down to you. “i don’t want you to let me go, you stupid idiot!” you repeat. “if that’s what you’ve been doing the last, few weeks, ‘letting me go’—” you make exaggerated air quotes out of your fingers, clearly agitated. “—then knock it off!”

“wh—” he makes a disgruntled noise as you slap him in the chest.

“what i meant to tell you, it came out wrong. i didn’t even mean to tell you anything, but if drunk me outed me like that, i need you to know that’s not what i meant.”

all the words he kept cutting off tonight tumble out of you quickly and freely now.

“i was lonely. i was really lonely, and yes, it was because i enjoyed that vacation so much and yes, it was because i wished i could have it with someone i was in love with, but i was having it with someone i was in love with!”

his body stiffens and his eyes widen but you don’t stop.

“i just meant i wanted it to mean more for both of us,” you explain desperately. “i wanted to be on vacation with you—but you as my boyfriend! not you as my best friend! there’s no one else i would’ve wanted to be with, soonyoung!”

you feel tears on your skin now, and you try to speak even faster because you know you’re on borrowed time before you devolve into a mess of sobs that won’t let you explain anything.

“do you think i’ve been single our entire friendship for fun?! do you think it’s fun being the 30-year-old virgin who’s never even kissed anyone?! because it’s not!” you screech through tears. you can’t even muster up the energy to be mortified at how horrible you must look right now. “but i didn’t want anyone else! i wanted you! you waited seven years, but i waited ten! TEN, soonyoung! do you—”

his lips are on yours.

your mind is quiet.

the wind isn’t cold.

you taste champagne and salt.

soonyoung holds your face gently, thumb caressing your cheeks while his long fingers slide into your hair. you’ve imagined how he must kiss a million times in your head. every time he licked his lips, puckered them for a photo, pressed them against your temple in what you deluded yourself into thinking was platonic affection—you would imagine exactly this.

soft, plush lips slotted in between yours, moving like you’re the only person they were made for. and even though you didn’t imagine it would be so salty from both of your tears, it’s exactly as perfect as you wanted your first kiss to be—as perfect as you wanted your first kiss with soonyoung to be.

when you get over the shock of it, you rest your hands on his chest, exploring the planes of it. you pause for a moment, enjoying the way you can feel the erratic beat his heart before reaching up, wrapping your arms around his neck, and pulling him into an even deeper kiss. it coaxes a sound out of him that convinces you he’s really yours, and he lets go of your face to circle your waist and hold you close.

you don’t know how and you’re not even sure when, but you end up in his bed, every inch of his body deliciously pressing against yours after he walked the two of you inside without ever leaving your lips.

his tongue slips into your mouth, and the moan that escapes you does so without your permission. you feel him twitch against your thigh and you can’t help but giggle into the kiss a little.

he pulls away, mouth pink and swollen. he rests his forehead against yours and smiles.

“what’s so funny, hm?”

it’s the first time in weeks that you’ve really heard his voice—the way you know and love it. light, happy, and, now that you’re equipped with the proper information, in love with you. you hear it loud and clear. you wonder if he hears it too.

“nothing,” you breathe, threading your fingers through the long hair at the nape of his neck until your hand is resting against the buzzed part of his undercut. you scratch his scalp there and he hums in contentment. you smile. “i love you, soonyoung.”

he lifts his forehead to better look at you. his eyes soften impossibly more and he looks like he’s trying to commit every detail of your face and this moment to memory. you realize you’re doing the same.

“i’ve always loved you,” you add, wanting to erase any lingering doubts that your 23rd birthday caused. “from the very start.”

his response is to push himself up and off you so that he’s on his knees, resting between your legs. you prop yourself up on your elbows, frowning from the sudden space. it’s exactly the opposite of what you want, but you know from the look on his face that it doesn’t mean he’s going anywhere or that he’s changed his mind. it confuses you to think that he looked at you this way for most of your friendship and you never thought it meant anything. it means everything.

he clears his throat, looking down briefly before meeting your eyes again. you only notice the bulge in his pants then, and you smile knowing that you felt that react to your moans.

“how far?” he asks, his voice so coated with desire, you shiver. he doesn’t need to elaborate. “i don’t want you to feel rushed or pressured. i just… we wasted so much time, and i—”

“all the way,” you say confidently, letting yourself lay back down and slowly wrapping your legs around his middle, trying not to feel self-conscious as your dress rides up and exposes you. “please.”

soonyoung groans like he’s in pain, hands instinctively resting against your bare thighs, eyes drifting down and unable to move from the wet spot between your legs once he sees it. his hands travel painfully slow toward the apex of your thighs, eyes never leaving you. his hands torturously stop when they reach the top.

several seconds pass with you fighting everything in your body to keep from squirming. if he notices, he doesn’t show it, seemingly too mesmerized by what’s in front of him. his thumbs burrow into the shallow divot where your legs meet your torso, the rest of his fingers kneading the flesh of your thighs, hard enough that you kind of hope they’ll bruise—give you something to remind you this was real. this happened.

he moves just as you’re about to ask him what he’s thinking about.

suddenly, as if he’s giving in to a voice telling him to just take what he wants, soonyoung allows his right hand to close the distance, tracing your skin until it leads his index finger straight to the part of you that needs him the most right now. he looks downright hypnotized as his finger meets your panties at their hollow part, where your hole is. you clench around nothing and you know he can tell when he finally breaks out of his thoughts and smirks. he only presses far enough to brush against the skin of your entrance before cruelly moving on. 

he slowly drags his finger up your slit with a little more pressure than he afforded your hole and you sigh into the movement, trying to move further down so you can feel him more. he squeezes your hip to keep you where you are, though, biting down on his lip as he watches you closely. if you weren’t so turned on, you’d be self-conscious under his attention.

then, finally, his finger finds the place you swear it belongs, and he’s pressed against your clit. your panties stick to you uncomfortably but you don’t have the words to properly tell him to take them off, writhing under the pressure of his finger instead.

soonyoung doesn’t move, just watching you breathe and beg incoherently in shallow gasps, and just when you think he’ll finally move his finger—that he’ll finally start giving you what you’ve wanted for so long—he takes his hand back. he laughs a little at your whine of protest, pushing down on your hip with the hand that’s resting there when you uncontrollably buck up into the space his finger just vacated.

"what?" you hiss at him. he laughs even harder, his pretty eyes turning into those narrow crescents you love so much. he crawls over you once more. "why are you laughing?!" you complain, face getting hot. "did i do something embarrassing?"

"'embarrassing'?" soonyoung repeats incredulously. he does nothing less than scoff in your face. "no, baby, your neediness is not 'embarrassing.' it's fucking hot."

your face gets even warmer. whether it's because he's being lewd or because he called you baby, you're not sure.

"shut up," you mutter. he grins down at you.

"gladly."

to your dismay, he doesn’t press himself against you like he did earlier. he hovers, planting a light kiss on your nose, then on your lips, lingering for only a moment before he leans back a little like he's trying to get a good look at your face. he brings his hand up to cradle your face, pushing the wind-tangled hair away from it.

the tiniest of smiles pull at his lips.

“i love you,” he finally returns. “i love you so god damn much, i thought i was going to die having to leave you.”

“you’re not leaving me,” you say firmly. the love you’re feeling for him is so strong, it leaves no room for doubt. you know that as long as you’ll have him, he’ll stay. and as long as he'll have you, you will too.

“i’m not,” he agrees.

he doesn’t say anything else, instead leaning down to capture your lips again. he doesn’t let it last long, though, moving from your mouth, to your jaw, your neck, and your collarbone. you’re a mess of gasps and moans as he kisses his way back up, until his lips are just barely grazing your ear.

“you tell me if you want to stop, okay?” he whispers softly. “and we’ll stop, no questions asked.”

you nod and he nips at your lobe before beginning to kiss his way back down, making you moan again. you don’t know if this is always how it feels like or if you’re just overly sensitive from being a 30-year-old virgin, but everywhere soonyoung touches feels like fire.

“you sound so pretty,” he mutters as he makes his way lower, unabashedly biting and licking wherever he wants as he goes. “exactly like how i imagined you’d sound.” you groan loudly when his lips brush over your nipple through the fabric of your dress. “fuck, even better actually.”

he reaches up and tangles a single finger around the thin strap of your dress, then gently pulls it off your shoulder. he briefly hangs his head in mock agony when he confirms you’re not wearing a bra.

you stifle another giggle, not wanting to keep laughing during something as serious as losing your virginity—to soonyoung, no less.

"what is my life?" he whispers more to himself than anyone else as he lowers his head and shamelessly envelops your bare nipple with his tongue.

the inhale you take at the sensation is sharp, and soonyoung briefly glances up without taking his mouth off of you, one eyebrow quirking as if to ask if you're okay.

you’re more than okay. you feel like your soul is about to float right out of your goddamn body, and the scary thing is he’s barely done anything to you yet. you open your mouth to try and tell him as much, but once your lips part, nothing comes out. you close your eyes, your body arching in response to soonyoung as his swirls his tongue around you, gently nipping every now and then. 

“soonyoung,” you gasp. 

“fuck.”

“lower,” you beg. “please, god, lower.”

you feel him smile against your chest. “whatever you want,” he whispers. 

but he doesn’t leave immediately, instead cupping his hand around your breast and biting into the flesh just above your nipple. your hips jerk up against his torso but he doesn’t let go, sucking for a few seconds before he releases you with a pop. 

he grins down at the blooming mark, giving it the gentlest kiss. “pretty.”

soonyoung finally makes his way back down between your legs, but not without releasing the other strap of your dress first. he must find some mercy to spare you because, without making you wait the way he has been all night, he lifts your hips up off the bed, pulls your dress down, and in one smooth move, slips both your dress and your panties off you. 

“oh my god!” he groans immediately, squeezing your clothes against his eyes. before you can even wonder if something’s wrong, he says, “i can’t believe this is my life right now, oh my god.”

he brings your clothes down just enough to look at you. his eyes narrow like he’s about to cry and you immediately laugh at the idea of soonyoung crying during sex… because he absolutely would. 

“oh my god, i really have you naked in my bed right now, oh my god oh my god oh my god.”

“soonyoung!” you scold him, coming up onto your elbows and bringing your legs together so your thighs squeeze him. “focus! come on, you’re just teasing me now.” you’re fully aware that you’ve never sounded whinier in your life, but you can’t bring yourself to care. “please.”

“okay, okay, i’m so sorry, i’m not trying to tease you, i swear. i just… i’m—just, i—it’s just, like… what?” he asks it so giddily, you can’t help but smile through your frustration. “y’know? like, what the actual fuck?” he babbles, very obviously just starting to process what the hell is happening right now. 

you groan, glaring at the ceiling. you’re annoyed at how empty you are right now, but at the same time, you feel your affection for soonyoung growing exponentially. even when he’s about to take your virginity, he can’t help but be so aggressively him. and you love it so much.

“it’s crazy how quickly you go from sex god to loser,” you murmur, unable to stop from grinning when he glowers at you.

“y’know,” he starts, voice considerably lower. you hate how much of an effect it has on you. “my favorite thing about you has always been your patience.” you snort as he carelessly tosses your clothes aside.

“good thing i have a lot of it then,” you retort, eyes catching on his long fingers as they start to undo each button of his shirt. 

he hums, narrowing his eyes at you. “right.”

the grin on your face fades fast as he finishes undoing the buttons and shrugs the shirt off. it’s nothing you haven’t seen before; after all, you spent many vacations together in nothing but swimwear the entire time. but as your eyes sweep the dips and curves of his muscles and the way his stomach flexes as he slips off the bed, you realize you’re looking at him in a way you haven’t been able to before. 

you’re looking at him like he’s yours. 

“wait,” you say suddenly, sitting up all the way and crawling over to the edge of the bed where he’s standing, hands frozen in the middle of removing his belt. 

“change your mind? it’s fine if you do,” he assures you quickly, already starting to fasten his belt again. 

you rest your hands on his to stop them. “no,” you say, laughing a little. “i’m not going to change my mind, soonie.” he visibly relaxes at the nickname. 

you reach up to kiss him, hands going up and into his hair. it’s slow and tender and careful, and you feel like you’re being held with so much care, you suddenly get nervous that you might be the one that ends up crying during sex. 

“i love you,” soonyoung whispers between kisses, his arms snaking around your naked waist. “oh my god, i love you, holy shit.”

“don’t start with the loser behavior again, please,” you joke against his lips. you feel him smile. you pull away and sigh, your fingers running across his chest in admiration. “but i love you too.”

he breathes deeply, leaning forward to rest his forehead against yours. “i’m so happy.”

you smile softly. “me too, soonie.”

you look down and watch your hands travel down his naked torso until they meet his belt. you finish undoing it, not bothering to remove it from the loops and going straight for the button of his jeans. soonyoung’s breath hitches when you pull his zipper down. before you can shove his jeans down, he grabs your face and brings your lips to his roughly, his tongue inside your mouth in seconds. you don’t know whose moans are whose anymore as he kisses you—not like it’s the first time, but like it’s the last. 

his lips get clumsy as he starts to remove his pants himself, shoving his boxer briefs down with them. you don’t get much of a chance to ogle him before his lips are on you again and he’s cupping your ass, forcing your legs to wrap around him. you revel in the feeling of him against your stomach—long, hard, and yours. 

he kneels onto his bed, carrying you back to where you were laying before and setting you down gently. when you part, you suddenly understand soonyoung’s brief meltdown. because holy shit. soonyoung is in bed with you. naked. and you physically cannot stop looking down at him. 

“see something you like?” he asks, his voice teasing. even with how arrogant he sounds, you can’t look away. 

“uh… what?” 

he laughs then, burying his face in the crook of your neck and effectively cutting off your intense eye contact with his dick. 

“soonyoung, put it in me,” you whisper frantically. “hurry up!” you near shriek at him. 

he only laughs harder. “i can’t just put it in you.”

“what?!” you push him away just far enough to be able to look at his face. “what do you mean you can’t just put it in me? is this not how sex works? you put that—” you widen your eyes at the monster resting against you. “—in me? like… over and over again?”

“baby, please,” he wheezes with laughter. “you’re making this so unsexy.”

“you made it unsexy first,” you pout. “put it in me, soonyoung!”

he bursts into giggles again. “stop saying that!”

“why?! you keep making me wait!” you complain. “pu—”

his hand clamps over your mouth before you can repeat yourself. “okay,” he says, laughter finally subsiding. “okay. shhh. relax… and i will, alright?” he doesn’t move so you nod. “good girl.”

you make a strangled noise against his hand at the praise and his eyebrows shoot up. 

“oh, you like that?” his lips quickly curve into a smirk when your only response is to wriggle under him, hips trying their best to move his dick in the direction you need it to go. 

he releases your mouth slowly and when you stay silent, his smirk deepens. he brings his hands to your face, squeezing your cheeks together and kissing your puckered lips before he rests it at the base of your neck, fingers splayed across your throat. you briefly wonder if he’d choke you during your first time if you asked. you quickly wave the idea away because you know he wouldn’t. 

“so pretty,” he murmurs again, finger tapping your lower lip. you dip your head to take it into your mouth and he groans. “jesus christ.” you release him and he sighs roughly. “let me know if i do anything you don’t like, okay?”

you nod eagerly, thinking it’s finally time to get what your body has been screaming for. so when he pulls away, you make a noise of protest and watch him in confusion as he moves down your body. it isn’t until he forces your knees apart and lays back down between your legs, breath hot on your skin, that you realize what he’s planning on doing. 

“oh,” you whisper pathetically. 

soonyoung looks up at you and you swear he looks excited to absolutely demolish you. without breaking eye contact, he unfurls his tongue from his mouth as far as it’ll go, the tip of it just a breath away from touching your clit. you try to move but his grip on your thighs don’t let you. you watch with bated breath as his saliva slides down his tongue, dripping right where you were hoping it would. 

it’s so fucking obscene, and the second you feel the warmth of his spit on you, you throw your head back and moan. 

“soonie,” you mewl. 

“god, i haven’t even done anything and you’re a mess—’s so fucking hot,” he tells you, letting go of one thigh to press his thumb into your clit, massaging his own spit into it. you gasp, bucking into the sensation now that one hip is free from his hold. “patience, baby,” he reminds you. 

soonyoung doesn’t give you a chance to talk back because with no warning, his mouth replaces his thumb and it takes everything in you to keep from screaming. he places his hand back on your thigh just in time to keep you from reflexively caging his head in. he holds you down as he devours you, tongue flicking, sweeping, and circling around all the places no one has ever been. you could cry. you think you might already be. you can’t tell anymore. 

he begins to massage where he holds you when your thighs start to tremble. 

“soonyoung,” you gasp, hand diving into his hair and fisting it without your permission. 

he doesn’t mind though, responding with a moan of his own, straight into your cunt. you half-sob at the vibrations of his voice against you. it doesn’t take long before his finger slips into you. then another. multiplying the pleasure tenfold. his tongue never falters as his fingers find and stimulate the small, ribbed spot inside you, pressing and pushing and rubbing to a rhythm that—as always—only you and soonyoung can hear.

“oh my god, soonyoung,” you repeat his name. you don’t know if you’re capable of saying anything else anymore. “soonie.”

“yeah, baby,” he mutters against you, kissing your sex with as much vigor as he was kissing your mouth earlier. “still okay?”

you nod wildly. “yes, yes. god, yes.”

he moans again, eyes flicking up to you as he does. “you sound so pretty, baby. be louder.”

“the…” you sigh as he gently removes his fingers, softly kissing down your slit. “the party…”

“let them hear you,” he mumbles. “let them hear how good i make you feel.”

“but…” you never finish your sentence.

he leaves one last whisper of a kiss before he suddenly takes two fingers, holds you open, and fully presses his face into you, his tongue entering you—stiff, thick, and so, so warm. you unwillingly follow orders, half-shouting and half-groaning his name. your back arches as he presses impossibly further into you, his tongue touching you in ways you only ever dreamed he would. 

“soonyoung… soonyoung!” you call him, grip in his hair tightening. “i’m going to… i’m…”

“go ahead, baby,” he encourages you. “god, go ahead,” he practically begs before his tongue dives back into you. 

his thumb finds your clit once more, working it harder and faster as he slips in and out of you, the sounds of him feasting on you so vulgar, you could listen to it forever. your body starts to inadvertently grind on his face the closer you get.

“soonyoung, i’m… i’m going… i’m…” you stammer, trying to pull him up by the hair. “stop, stop, i’m going to cum on your face.”

soonyoung frowns, thumb never stopping as he takes his tongue back. “that’s the point baby. i want you to cum on my face.” his eyes roll back at the thought, and he moans before seeming to shake the thoughts out of his head. “god, you better cum on my face.”

“but—”

“cum on my fucking face, y/n.”

that shuts you up and all you can do is nod quickly, allowing him to get back to what he was doing. it doesn’t take long after that. it hits you like a wall, slamming into every part of your body at once, reverberating to every corner of you over and over again. and because soonyoung is a demon and he doesn’t stop, the echoes of your orgasm ripple through you mercilessly until just mere moments later, you’re having another one. 

and if the way soonyoung smirks into you is any indication, you know he’s aware of exactly what he just did to you. it could have been seconds or it could have been hours when you feel soonyoung’s arms wrapping around your middle, torso pressing into yours as he kisses your neck and makes his way up until his lips are on yours again. 

you taste yourself on him and you think it should be gross, but it just makes you even wetter knowing that he took that part of you for himself—that he drank you up and he loved it. 

“soonie,” you whisper, breath still coming in ragged gasps. he pushes your hair off your forehead as he looks down at you. 

“mmm?” he hums, still kissing you wherever he can reach, but always coming back to your lips. 

“i want to be yours,” you say. you’re not even sure that’s what you meant to say. you’re actually 90% sure you wanted to demand he put it in you again, but that’s what comes out. it’s still true—maybe even truer—so you repeat it: “i want to be yours so bad.”

soonyoung looks at you with so much love, you feel your eyes burning. he doesn’t point out your tears, simply pressing his finger against each one that escapes your eyes. he leans in, presses his cheek against yours, and he whispers: “then i'll make you mine.”

he presses against your entrance then, and you gasp. 

“shhh,” he soothes you. “try to relax, okay?”

he props himself on one elbow, other hand coming to your hip and rubbing gentle circles into the skin there. his touch is comforting and grounding, and you feel your muscles relaxing even as he starts to push into you. your hand comes up to his shoulder, grasping tightly as the stretch starts to burn more and more. you squeeze your eyes shut, head turning to the side as you try to focus on relaxing enough to let soonyoung bottom out. 

“slow, slow,” you breathe, even though he’s already barely moving as it is. 

he plants a kiss on your temple, murmuring apologies against your skin. “i’m sorry, baby. do you feel okay?”

you nod, eyes still closed. he pauses for a minute or so, settling for peppering kisses all over you. his patience and love help—they’re everything. you adjust and that desire to be completely full comes back to you and you nod quickly at him.  

“keep going, soonie.” you’re too eager to be full of him to be embarrassed at how needy you sound. he smiles, coming off his elbow to lay back on you. 

you’re not sure if the kissing is a distraction, but it works. you’re so preoccupied with the things his tongue is doing with yours that by the time he’s fully sheathed inside you, it doesn’t burn anymore.

“oh my god,” he breathes, pressing his forehead against you and closing his eyes like he’s trying to concentrate. “oh shit.” he breathes deeply and evenly. “you won’t change your mind about me if i cum too fast, will you?”

you laugh but that’s a mistake because it causes you to clench a little, and soonyoung immediately groans, hand going to your shoulder and squeezing to get you to stop. 

“don’t, don’t!” he says quickly. “don’t squeeze, baby.”

“sorry,” you whisper, trying not to giggle. you give him a few moments to collect himself, just like he did with you. “no, by the way,” you say. he opens his eyes and looks at you. “i won’t change my mind. it’s been 10 years. nothing will change my mind.”

the words do something to him—seem to inject some resolve into his bloodstream—because without saying anything, soonyoung starts moving. your lips part at the foreign feeling of his cock dragging against your walls. his every dip and ridge fits to your every ridge and dip, and you don’t need any more evidence to know that soonyoung was made specifically for you. 

“oh fuck,” he groans, burying his face in your neck and kissing the skin there. “you feel so good—so fucking good,” he says, his breath hot and heavy in your ear. “your cunt is perfect.”

you let your eyes flutter closed as a mouthwatering mixture of pain and pleasure start to pool together in your lower abdomen. you don’t know when you start, but as he continues thrusting in and out of you, the deepness of his thrusts gradually increasing, you can’t stop moaning, gasping, chanting his name. it becomes a prayer to you. 

soonyoung. soonyoung. soonyoung.

no, not a prayer. a wish coming true—all 10 of the birthday wishes you spent on him coming true. you were finally loving soonyoung loudly. 

“y/n,” he pants, sweat dripping onto you. “oh my god.”

“soonyoung,” you answer, moans sandwiching his name. 

and just when you think his thrusts are as deep as they can go—pulling all the way out before slamming right back into you—he pushes off of you, holding himself up with one arm and holding the headboard above the both of you for leverage. and somehow, he gets impossibly deeper, impossibly rougher, impossibly better, coaxing all kinds of screams and noises from you. 

“oh my god, look at you,” he mumbles, eyes darting between your chest, your lips, and the place where he keeps disappearing inside you. “so—fucking—perfect.” his cock slams roughly into you with each word, easily aggravating all your pleasure points.

“‘m not gonna last long,” you breathe. “soonie… ‘m not—”

you cut yourself off with your own cry when his hips start to drive into you at an unforgivable pace. tears leak from the corners of your eyes, leaving hot streaks as you try to remember how good this moment feels—how fucking good soonyoung feels. how perfectly soonyoung fills you up.

“i’m not either, baby,” he says. he starts grinding his pelvis down on your clit roughly, making you grab his forearm in a weak attempt to ride out the overwhelming and overstimulating feeling of an orgasm building up inside you mercilessly.

he lowers himself again, closing the distance between you two and pressing his lips to yours. “i love you,” he says. “i love you so fucking much.”

“i—” you gasp as his pelvis presses down on you ruthlessly. “i love—oh my god, soonyoung,” you groan. 

“do you feel like you’re mine yet?” he asks, voice raspy, hips ramming into you so hard, there’s no way you won’t be bruised tomorrow. 

you nod frantically. “yes, god, yes. yes!” you shriek the last one as your orgasm approaches its summit. “yes!”

“say it,” he grunts, eyes boring into yours.

“i’m yours,” you pant. “soonie,” you whimper, eyes shutting on their own accord. “i’m yours, soonyoung.”

“i never want to hear another name come out of your mouth ever again,” he tells you, the statement followed by a string of colorful curses as his hips begin stuttering uncontrollably. you know he’s holding off as best he can for you. “you’re mine.” he moans loudly. “and i’m yours.”

“m-mine… soonyoung…” you open your eyes to find him still watching you intently. “soonyoung! i’m coming! i’m—” you grasp him as hard as humanly possible, your third orgasm of the night ripping through you.

for a few moments, soonyoung continues to thrust into you, trying to help you through your orgasm, but he doesn’t last, quickly pulling out and coming all over you, cords of white coloring your stomach, chest, even your face. you gasp, bits of it landing in your mouth. you lick the corners of your lips as you come down from your high, smiling a little when you finally get to taste soonyoung. 

“holy shit…” he huffs, sitting back on his heels and throwing his head back. you try not to gawk at how beautiful he looks on his knees like this, his still semi-hard cock covered in your pleasure. 

“c’mere.” speaking suddenly feels like such a chore as you realize how sleepy you are.

soonyoung half obeys, leaning forward to kiss you quickly before getting out of bed and ignoring all your protests over it. he returns from his restroom with a towel, gently wiping you both clean, even leaving kisses as he goes. it’s like he’s making up for his seven years. 

“how do you feel?” he asks when he slips back into bed, pulling the covers over the both of you. 

“like i’m in love,” you say, eyes closing as you curl into his chest. he laughs as he wraps his arms around you. “it was perfect. thank you, soonie.”

he kisses the top of your head. “i’m sorry about how weird i’ve been acting these last few weeks… and i’m sorry for thinking i could just… end our friendship like that.”

you open your eyes and crane your neck to look at him. “i wouldn’t have let you,” you inform him. he grins. “and i didn’t.”

“you didn’t,” he agrees. you hum. “i love you.”

“wait… do you love me?!” you ask jokingly after hearing it at least a dozen times tonight.

he rolls his eyes. “good to know our dynamic is going to be fine.”

you giggle. “i love you more.”

“whoa, fighting words.”

“ten years, soonyoung.”

“it was ten years for me too!” he protests. 

you frown. 

“i gave myself seven years before i forced myself to move on,” he reminds you. “i loved you long before that, you fool.”

you glare but your heart swells. you hug him even tighter. “so… what are we?’

“are you fucking kidding me?”

you laugh, burying your face in his bare chest. “yeah, i am. i’m joking.”

he pinches your side. “good. it would’ve been awkward to have to inform you you’re my wife now.”

you shriek-laugh and you know it’s infectious from the way he bursts into laughter at your reaction too. you spend the rest of the night like that, talking about the moments you knew you were in love, joking around, and planning your new decade and your new life, your birthday party long forgotten.

just before you both drift off to sleep, you exchange your last i-love-yous of the night. 

“good night, love of mine,” he whispers.

“mine,” you repeat, smiling. “yours.”

you know your 30s are going to be the best years of your life.

You match him, and with nothing less that challenge in your tone, you reply, “Wanna bet?”

You think Soonyoung takes it as a challenge.

True to his words, Soonyoung makes sure to call you. As soon as he’s off-duty and resting, your phone is lighting up with the sight of his caller ID and your favorite picture of him.

Once he starts, he doesn’t stop. Soonyoung calls you and refuses to drop it until he knows you’re settled in bed. He stays on the line to hear the television playing in the background, the meat sizzling on the pan, the water running while you wash up, and the sheets rustling as you lie down in bed. Soonyoung’s endless chatter almost helps you forget that he isn’t actually there.

Unfortunately, there are more hours in the day without Soonyoung than there is with him.

It’s not like you don’t have a life outside of Soonyoung, you do, but the frigid air and the love that mixes with it is a painful reminder that the love of your life is out there working his damnedest instead of spending his holidays with you.

You hate that he doesn’t have a choice, but you remind yourself that he’s just as alone in conditions far worse than yours. So, you persist because you refuse to let the leave you filed go to waste.

The 21st was spent buying gifts for family and friends. It was hard not to have your spirits dampened by the sight of couples and friends going out shopping and dining, but you don’t let it get to you. You scour through the streets of Seoul, determined to find the perfect gift for your parents, Soonyoung’s family, your friends, and Soonyoung’s bandmates. By the end of it, your pockets are empty, but your hands and heart are full.

The day after that is spent wrapping gifts. For the entirety of December 22, you sit in the living room with the television playing Christmas vlogs in the background while you carefully wrap each and every single gift you bought. It’s a relaxing experience, and for the first time in a while, your mind is at complete ease. Sure, your back hurts from bending over, and you’ve managed to get a paper cut or two, but the idea of giving the people you loved gifts they deserved outweighed the dull ache of your spine and the light sting of your fingers.

The process is so much quicker without Soonyoung… But it’s also much lonelier.

On the 23rd, you pick up Soonyoung’s gift from the shop: a watch that cost months of savings considering the brand and the fact that you had asked them to engrave a tiger on the back.

(The things you do for your boyfriend and his obsession.)

The moment you get it, you’re heading straight home. You weren’t about to linger, loiter, and risk losing the ridiculously expensive gift before Soonyoung even had the chance to wear it let alone open it.

When you get home, the first thing you do is wrap the box and the next thing you do is hide it. It’s not like the gift was at risk of an untimely reveal considering Soonyoung’s absence, but it’s the thought that counts. As soon as he got home on the 30th, you’d be able to give it. It’s late, and not entirely according to plan, but Soonyoung coming home is enough.

More than enough

Even before the military, you’ve had to deal with Soonyoung’s absence as he toured around the world and got himself bled dry by the management. His schedule’s ridiculous—bordering on exploitation—but Soonyoung has been chasing his dreams long before you came into the picture. You can’t just tell him to stop when the stage was the very thing that gave him life. The most you could do was welcome him with open arms whenever he came back to you and pester him to rest when he wasn’t with you.

But that doesn’t change the fact that sometimes, just sometimes, you wonder what it would be like to finally settle down. You wonder what it would be like to be free from the threat of the public eye, to live quietly, freely. You wonder what it would be like to work your 9-to-5 while Soonyoung busied himself with gentler affairs that made him happy without draining him down to the bone, wonder what it would be like to come home to him at the end of each day with no worry of him leaving for months on end.

A silly dream, too far to touch or even think of, but a dream nonetheless.

When the clock strikes 5:00 PM, you start preparing your dinner because you know that as soon as that clock strikes 5:30 PM, Soonyoung would be calling, and you’d be too caught up in talking to him to focus on arranging your mise en place… Not that kimchi jjigae needed much preparation.

Wherever you go, whatever you do

널 알아 볼 수 있을 것 같아

멈추지 않는 내 심장이

죽을것 같이 뛰고있어

Softly, the music plays in the background as you cut up everything you need while waiting for Soonyoung’s call, placing them in the tiny clear bowls Soonyoung bought you as soon as he learned about how much you loved to cook and experiment in the kitchen. It was a little overboard, considering the sheer price of the kitchen set he bought you, but you’ve learned throughout the years that Kwon Soonyoung is not someone who does things half-heartedly. That includes loving you, and so, even in his absence, your cup is full.

It even overflows.

Sure, there are times where Soonyoung screws up and spills the cup, but he’s always quick to put it back up and fill it all over again.

I say, you stepped into my heart

Softer than summer night

Became my everything

There's no way without you now

5:28 PM, and you can only wish for time to move faster as you pull out the kimchi—Jongga, of course—and set it on the table.

It’s almost Christmas Eve, and you think that’s why you’re missing Soonyoung a little more.

Had the universe been a little kinder, you’d be in the living room, cuddled up on the couch with a fluffy blanket and Soonyoung’s arms wrapped around you as some variety show played on the television.

Just the thought has your heart aching because that wasn’t happening anytime soon.

5:30 PM.

Nothing.

You wait a little more. Maybe he just had things to fix. Expecting him to call at the same exact time every single time was an unreasonable expectation, after all.

5:32 PM, your phone remains undisturbed.

That’s fine. It’s not much. Maybe you could get started on cooking. Your body feels a little heavier as you get on your feet and walk back to where your ingredients are, but you push the feeling aside. Soonyoung had a life outside of you, and so did you.

5:50 PM, the kimchi jjigae is almost done, and there’s still no sign of life from Soonyoung.

6:30 PM, you’re done eating, and the traces of disappointment that haunt the cavity of your chest has turned into concern.

What if something happened? What if Soonyoung got hurt on duty? What if he was injured?

You hope that’s not the case. You hope he just forgot.

Quickly, you’re pulling out your phone and typing away.

[You]: Just finished dinner !! Don’t forget to rest DD:

You don’t want to worry him with your own worries, but you also didn’t want him to feel burdened by the idea that you were expecting him to call. You get it. Some days you’re just so exhausted that everything gets placed on the backburner, and you weren’t going to make things harder for Soonyoung if he was experiencing one of those days.

As long as you knew that he was safe.

No reply. Even when you wait it out for another 30 minutes, Soonyoung is still dead silent. For your peace of mind, you tell yourself he’s asleep, and you go ahead with the rest of your evening with a heavy heart.

Quietly, you wash your dishes, and you let the leftovers cool before storing them in the refrigerator. You were meant to prepare enough for one, but living with Soonyoung has given you the terrible habit of cooking for two and more, only because he always went for seconds… Even when your culinary experiment is a clear failure.

After that, you prepare for another night alone. You bathe, you dry yourself, and you go through your skincare routine. You spoil yourself with the ridiculously priced serums, creams, and masks Soonyoung insisted on buying you. Nothing but the best for my girl, you can practically hear him as you massage the serums into your skin.

Had he been here, he would’ve been sitting beside you like an overgrown cat, hands fiddling with all the products of your vanity while waiting for his turn. He would look at you with that hopeful gaze before his eyes completely disappeared into a smile the moment you get your hands on his face, ready to massage serums and creams onto his face.

Then he’d nuzzle into you, and all your hard work would go down the drain, but you don’t mind—

You just want Soonyoung.

Once you finish your routine, you set the bottles and tubes of skincare back to their rightful place, you shut the curtains lest the morning sun wake you up, and you settle underneath the thick, festively designed blankets you’ve laid out. Like every other night, it’s harder to warm the bed without Soonyoung. You’re restless as you twist and turn, trying to find a position that would be comfortable enough to overcome the ache in your chest and the worry pooling in your stomach. Despite the friction from your tossing and turning, the bed remains cold, and the Tamtam plush Soonyoung gave you is a witness to it all—

Damn it, were you about to cry?

Were you seriously about to start sobbing at the sight of the yellow tiger plush that resembled your boyfriend a little too much?

Before you can stop yourself, you’re grabbing the Tamtam plush and clutching onto it for dear life. You look like a child that had been left behind while her parents went on a business trip, but you don’t care.

This was the closest thing you had to Soonyoung, and weirdly, clutching onto it helps.

In fact, it works so well in soothing you that you feel yourself drifting. You can feel your lids getting heavier as your body finally releases enough tension to sink into the sheets, and you can feel the world starting to fade into black as sleep starts to take over your form.

Before you know it, you’re fast asleep.

(So asleep that you didn’t even hear the door opening.)

On the 24th, you wake up to the sight of Kwon Soonyoung.

You’re fresh from sleep, eyes bleary and mind hazy as you shift to try and find a position that would help you hang onto the quickly receding threads of sleep. The sun wasn’t helping your case, rays of light pouring from the—

You shut those… Did you not?

Quickly, you open your eyes fully.

“Good morning.” Soonyoung has a bright smile on his face as he casually lounges on his side, one hand keeping his head up while the other reaches out to brush the hair away from your face. “Sleep well?”

You’ve lost it.

Were you that lonely? Did you miss Soonyoung so much that your brain was giving you this hyperrealistic dream to help you cope?

But… What if it’s real?

“Am I dreaming?” You blurt out, and you hope with every single fiber of your being that Soonyoung’s answer is no.

Soonyoung laughs, and it’s so clear in your mind that you come to the realization that there’s absolutely no way your brain could come up with something so real that it genuinely feels like real life.

“Yah, is it that hard to believe?” Soonyoung pouts as he lays down beside you, arms reaching out to pull you closer and closer until your foreheads are touching and your pulses are syncing.

This is real.

The tears come before you can stop them, and you only give yourself a glimpse of Soonyoung’s panicked face before you’re burying yourself into his chest and wrapping your arms tightly around him.

“I—I hate y-you, Kwon Soonyoung,” You sound pathetic as you blubber the words through hot tears, but you don’t care. “You—you said you weren’t c-coming home—“

Happiness, relief, love—a whole lot of love—floods your form as you sob into Soonyoung’s shirt. He’s here, he’s in your arms, he’s home.

He’s really home.

“Aigoo, don’t cry,” Soonyoung coos, sitting up and pulling you with him. “I know, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”

You bury your face into your hands, a little ashamed at how wrecked and vulnerable you looked so early in the morning.

“I wanted to surprise you—baby, look at me,” Soonyoung says as he leans forward, fingers gently prying your hands away from your face. “I didn’t think you’d miss me this much.”

“Well, I did!” You cry out petulantly, hands stubbornly remaining glued to your face despite Soonyoung’s efforts as you try to catch your breath. “Stop, I look so bad right now.”

“You don’t,” Soonyoung insists, and he takes the split second waver in your resolve to completely pry your hands away.

The sight of him leaves you speechless.

“There’s my girl,” Soonyoung grins, and then he’s cupping the back of your head and leaning forward to peck your lips once, twice, thrice before he fully kisses you.

You’ve missed this.

The softness of Soonyoung’s lips, the heat of his breath, and the gentle grip of his hand leaves you breathless, and if Soonyoung’s words weren’t enough to convince you of his presence, then this kiss definitely did the job.

When Soonyoung pulls away, you’re almost tempted to dive back in again.

“I missed you,” Soonyoung’s lips tickle your own as he mumbles the words, eyes half-lidded as he rubs his nose against yours. “You sounded so sad over the phone that I almost had to ruin the surprise.”

“Well, I was sad, so can you blame me?” You pull away and huff, arms crossing as your relief is replaced by a petty, playful anger. “You liar, you said you wouldn’t be home until the 30th.”

“Yah, did you really think I could resist coming home to you for that long?” Soonyoung matches your pouty energy, brows furrowing and cheeks puffing out as he huffs. “You want me to go back? I will.”

You frown, childishly turning your back on Soonyoung like you didn’t spend the past few days yearning and being absolutely miserable. “Fine, go back then.”

“Hey, I was kidding.” Soonyoung is quick to backtrack, arms wrapping around you from behind as he tries to appease you with kisses all over your cheek. “Come on, I said I was sorry, hm? I won’t do it again, I swear. Please? You know I’d go insane without you—“

“Yah, too much,” You laugh, body relaxing as you let Soonyoung pull you back into bed and in his arms. “You’re cringey, I hope you know that.”

“Tell me something I don’t know,” Soonyoung snorts before his face morphs into the widest grin you’ve seen when you turn around and lay your head on his chest. The playfulness in his eyes fades into something softer, tender, and in a quieter voice, he asks, “How have you been?”

And you tell him.

You tell him about the gifts you bought, the wrapping you did, and the meals you made. You tell him about the gifts you got for all twelve of his bandmates, about the leather belt you got for his father, the cashmere sweater you got for his mother, the perfume you got for his sister, and the cute reindeer costume you got for Latte.

Soonyoung listens to it all. He sits through the ramble, letting out a chuckle or comment every once in a while as he massages your scalp. You’re surprised you haven’t been knocked out by the feeling, but you think it’s the excitement of having Soonyoung back home that keeps you awake.

You didn’t want to miss a single moment now that Soonyoung is here.

“How about you?” You ask.

And Soonyoung answers.

He tells you about his little room back at the base, the strict schedule they have to adhere to, and the drills that had been engrained so deeply into their system that doing it became second nature. He tells you about the friends he made, about the antics they get up to when they’re off duty, the snippets of their life they’ve chosen to share, the home they’ve found away from it, and the yearning that haunted him every single night.

You can’t blame him; you felt it too.

The rest of the morning passes in bed, Soonyoung’s arms wrapped around you as you bury your face into his neck and breathe him in. It’s calming, and if they ever made a candle in honor of this man, then you’d be the first in line. You’re almost tempted to stay there forever, but when the clock strikes 11:30 AM, Soonyoung pulls you out of bed.

“Come on. Let’s go out,” He whines as he drags your sagging form to the bathroom. “I still have to make it up to you, you know?”

“Yah,” You pout at him as he pushes you into the bathroom. “Did you forget to buy me a gift? Is that why we’re going out?”

“I already have your gift,” Soonyoung—the absolute diva he is—rolls his eyes playfully as he says it. “This is just to make up for the days I wasn’t around.”

“Sure, whatever you say,” You grin, refusing to let up, but Soonyoung only shakes his head and presses a kiss to your cheek before he starts brushing his teeth in the sink.

Before you know it, you’re strolling through the streets of Seoul hand-in-hand with your boyfriend who looked unrecognizable with his mask pulled up high and his beanie pulled down low.

You’re used to it, really.

“How about this?” Soonyoung points at a jewelry store that you just know houses pieces that would cost a fortune that you very much lacked. “They’ve got really nice bracelets—“

You’re quick to protest, “That’s so expensive though—“

“I told you, don’t mind the price,” Soonyoung complains for the nth time that afternoon. “If you want it, I’ll get it. It’s that simple.”

No, it’s not, you almost want to argue, but you weren’t ready to have this conversation in the middle of a busy street.

There’s no cash, card, or currency on earth that could buy the thing you wanted most.

“Soonyoung, I’m fine. I swear,” You tell him with a squeeze of his hand. “You don’t have to buy me anything. We can just get hotteok from one of the stalls, and I’ll be more than happy.”

Your boyfriend only pouts, “Come on. There should be at least one thing, no?”

I just want you.

You want to shout it out loud for everyone in the street to hear. You want to shout it out until your throat is raw and your voice is gone. You want to shout it out until Kwon Soonyoung has no choice but to accept the fact that it’s him. No one else.

Soonyoung’s pout persists even when you take him to a food stall and place a warm, freshly made hotteok in his hands, and it doesn’t fade even when you take him to a quiet corner to let him take his mask off and chew while you kiss at his cheek.

(But you don’t miss the way he’s struggling to keep the pout.)

“I’m just saying.” Soonyoung is adamant on dying on that hill of his, it seems. “What use is my money if you’re not going to spend it?”

“For saving?”

Soonyoung looks appalled. “Baby, if I save any more, my savings account is going to start puking—“

“You know what?” You cross your arms and turn to Soonyoung fully. “I want a house.”

—

Kwon Soonyoung could listen to you all day.

“It should have a few rooms. Not too many, just enough for a few kids, and for when we have guests,” You tell him, and mentally, Soonyoung is already going through the list of neighborhoods that would be perfect for the house you wanted. “A yard would be nice so that the kids can play, but a driveway with a basketball ring is more than enough. Knowing you, our kids are bound to have too much energy, so they’ll need…”

Soonyoung doesn’t miss the way you say our kids, and he genuinely thinks he might explode out of sheer giddiness as you continue to ramble about what your Christmas wish is.

“Oh and you’ll have to take her to ballet—or taekwondo. Whatever she chooses, really, but the house needs to be close enough so we can pick her up.”

A daughter with your smile? Your eyes? Soonyoung thinks he might just melt on the spot.

“Should we sign him up for football? Or dance? Maybe both? We’ll cross the bridge when we get there, but I want our kids to have extracurriculars…”

There you go again, making him feel all funny and soft whenever you say the words: Our kids.

He can practically see it play out in real time.

Kids, as many as you’d allow. A house, large enough to house his love but small enough so it wouldn’t be hard to hear you bustling around, humming and laughing. A car, nothing too flashy but fancy enough so that his children are the coolest whenever he picks them up from school.

A ring, the rock on it so large and blinding that anyone would know you were his even from a mile away.

Kwon Soonyoung always knew he was going to marry you, and hearing you want the same—practically bossing him around into forever—it puts him at ease.

But it also has him antsy.

It has him wanting to swallow the hotteok in one go and run to the closest jeweller to get the biggest, shiniest, classiest ring he can find just so he can drop on one knee in the middle of the street and grant that wish of yours—

“But I know you can’t give that now,” You finish your request with a touch of the reality that seems to fade whenever you and Soonyoung find your way to each other. “And I’m okay with that. So stop asking me to drain your wallet dry because the only thing I really want is you.”

And you wipe the crumbs off Soonyoung’s mouth like you didn’t just hit him with a truth so vulnerable—and yet so certain—that he can only look at you and hope that his lungs can find it in themselves to breathe soon because he still wanted to live the rest of his life with you.

In broad daylight, Soonyoung does the unthinkable.

He kisses you.

In that serendipitous window of time where no one is watching, Soonyoung kisses you with everything he has in the second the world has generously spared him.

One day, he thinks. One day he won’t have to hide you like this. When his novelty dulls and his relevance fades, the spotlight and the world’s scrutinizing gaze would no longer be on him, and he would be free to love you out loud the way you deserved to be loved.

But Soonyoung won’t deny the fact that losing the spotlight terrifies him. He traded his youth for it, after all. While everyone slept or hit the books, Soonyoung was dancing and breaking himself just so he could pick up the pieces and create something palatable enough to put on that tiny stage. He always hits the notes, never misses the counts, and Soonyoung walked the path that was set until time and trust made him untouchable enough to take creative risks. To lose everything he broke himself for trying to build… It’s one of the things that keeps him up at night.

You’re the only thing that lets him sleep.

Because the moment Soonyoung lost that spotlight would be the moment he gained the freedom to love you and live out every single dream on that wish list of yours.

“What was that for?” You ask Soonyoung when he pulls away.

“You want me, right? Have me, then.” Soonyoung grins, the kind he knows that will have you rolling your eyes and swatting at his arm. “I hope you’re prepared though. My mother doesn’t accept returns, refunds, or exchanges.”

“Strcit business policy, huh?” You huff out playfully. “Do I at least get a discount?”

“Yeah, you do,” Soonyoung replies as he holds your hand and raises it so that he can press his lips against the back of it. “Everything is free as long as you promise that you’ll say yes.”

A house, a couple of kids, and a lifetime by your side…

Kwon Soonyoung would give you all of that and more.

A/N: Ending the year with my number one bias wrecker!! This will be my last fic for the year, but I promise I’ll be back next year. Now excuse me while I spend the rest of my vacation eating shawarma and drinking lassi. Thank you for the wonderful year, everyone!!

When you saw Soonyoung in your home, dressed in a suit that clearly wasn’t his style, you felt a hurricane of emotions. His usual vibrant, carefree energy seemed stifled under the weight of the tailored fabric. You greeted him and his family alongside your parents, both of you a shy mess, but something in his eyes told you things might not be as bad as you feared.

“Hey,” Soonyoung murmured as you both found a moment away from the adults’ formal discussions. “This suit is killing me.”

You laughed softly, feeling a sense of relief. “You look... different.”

“Yeah, definitely not my usual style, you know me” he grinned, loosening his tie. “But I guess we’re both out of our comfort zones today.”

You nodded, memories flooding back of the two of you playing outside when kids, during business congresses, your parents inside discussing mergers and acquisitions while you and Soonyoung chased each other around the gardens. “Do you remember those days?”

“Of course,” he said, eyes lighting up with nostalgia. “We had our own little world, didn’t we?”

“We did,” you replied. “And now, here we are.”

“So, how do you feel about this?” he asked, shy, looking at your expensive dress, clearly set for tonight. “About us... getting married?”

“I’ve been preparing for it my whole life, I guess,” you said honestly. “But with you... it feels different. Less intimidating."

“I feel the same,” Soonyoung admitted. “I mean, if it had to be anyone, I’m glad it’s you.”

You smiled. “Maybe we can make this work. Find a balance between our lifes.”

“Yeah,” he agreed. “We can create something new, something that’s ours.”

You looked at him, seeing not just the boy you grew up with, but a partner. Someone who understood the complexities of your world and was willing to navigate them with you.

You looked around your house, taking in the scene. Soonyoung’s family mingled with yours, coworkers from your parents’ firms exchanged polite conversation, and your and Soonyoung’s nephews were playing circles around the couch. 

The weight of the day pressed on your shoulders, a burden that didn’t match the elegance of the dress you were wearing for the marriage proposal.

Soonyoung’s eyes met yours, noticing your tense posture. “You’re nervous, aren’t you?” he asked softly.

You looked at him, sulking, and he recognized the same expression you had when you were eight. 

He leaned in, whispering, “Don’t tell anyone, but I brought a bottle of tequila. It’s in my trunk. Would you like some to relax?”

You stared at him in silence before nodding with an exasperated look, feeling like it was exactly what you needed.

“Did you bring a shot cup?” you asked, following him outside.

He stopped, bottle in hand, and you both laughed. Taking the bottle from him, you leaned against his car, opened the cap, and poured a generous shot—maybe a little more—straight into your mouth. Soonyoung watched, his mouth wide open in surprise. You handed the bottle back to him.

“Why are you nervous?” he asked, taking a swig himself, looking comically exaggerated as he did. “I’m the one who has to kneel and propose today. My heart feels like it’s about to explode.”

You both laughed like teenagers getting away with something forbidden, hiding behind his car.

After a moment of comfortable silence, you broke it. “Do you have the ring here?”

He looked at you and nodded.

“Can I see it?” you asked, your curiosity piqued as if he had a rare Pokémon card.

“Is that right?” he teased.

You made doe eyes and asked, “Pretty please?”

He smiled, pulling a small black box from his pocket and opening it for you. 

The diamond ring sparkled in your eyes, its brilliance captivating. “It’s beautiful,” you murmured.

Soonyoung nodded, grinning. “My sister helped me choose it. I originally wanted a diamond shaped like a cat, but she said that wasn’t appropriate.”

You laughed, the image of a cat-shaped diamond making you smile. “It’s beautiful, but a kitten-shaped ring sounds adorable. I would’ve loved that too.”

His grin widened, a small, proud smile lighting up his face as you both admired the ring.

Your moment was interrupted by Soonyoung’s mom's voice, echoing from the house. “Oh my god, are you already proposing?”

Soonyoung choked on his own saliva, his eyes wide with panic. The best thing to do now? Say no and face his mother’s scolding for showing the ring prematurely, or actually propose right then and there?

Before he could think it through, he found himself on one knee on the sidewalk, his heart pounding. You quickly hid the tequila bottle behind your back.

“Soonyoung, what are you doing?” you whispered, eyes wide.

“I... I’m improvising,” he replied, clearing his throat. “Y/N, will you marry me?”

The spontaneity of it all, made you laugh and cry at the same time, you needed to pretend you were actually emotional. “Yes, Soonyoung. Yes, I will.”

You barely noticed the sudden crowd that had gathered around you, they'd appeared out of nowhere, all eyes on the two of you. Soonyoung’s hand trembled slightly as he slid the ring onto your finger, the cool metal contrasting with the warmth of his touch.

You smiled nervously at him, teeth gritted. “Hug me,” you whispered urgently, your eyes darting to the tequila bottle that was precariously wedged behind your back. “Please, put the tequila bottle inside your car. It's practically shoved inside my ass.”

Soonyoung blinked, processing your words before a grin spread across his face. He pulled you into a tight hug, the kind that felt both reassuring and grounding. As he embraced you, he expertly reached behind you, his fingers brushing against the bottle. 

You could feel his body shaking slightly with suppressed laughter.

“Hang on,” he whispered back.

He managed to grab the bottle and discreetly slid it out from behind you. Still holding you close, he took a step back towards the car, opening the door with one hand and slipping the bottle inside. The whole maneuver was so smooth that you doubted anyone noticed the clandestine operation.

That moment eased the tension of the night, but the tequila hadn’t taken effect yet, and you knew you had to keep an eye on Soonyoung. His alcohol tolerance was notoriously low, and you didn’t want him to embarrass himself—or worse, get into trouble.

As the night wound down and Soonyoung’s dad started to lead him to the car, Soonyoung sulked, trying to resist. “I want to talk a bit more to my bride,” he protested, his voice slightly slurred. His words elicited good-natured laughter from both families, who were enjoying the unexpected turn of events.

You walked over to him, giving him a warm hug and patting his head affectionately. “It’s time to go home, Soonyoung,” you said gently.

He looked at you with wide, earnest eyes, the warmth in his gaze reminding you of why you felt less nervous than you should. Soonyoung had always been warm-hearted, and maybe that’s why you felt a sense of calm amidst the chaos.

As you pulled back from the hug, Soonyoung’s hand lingered in yours for a moment longer. “Promise you’ll call me tomorrow?” he asked, his tone earnest despite his tipsiness.

“Promise,” you replied, smiling as you squeezed his hand.

With one last affectionate look, Soonyoung allowed his dad to guide him into the car. You watched as the vehicle pulled away. Your parents approached, their expressions a blend of amusement and expectation.

“Well, that was quite a night,” your mom said, her eyes twinkling with delight.

“Yes, it was,” you agreed, glancing at your dad, who nodded in approval.

“You two make a good pair,” your dad said, his tone warm. “I’m glad to see you both getting along so well.”

Your parents were now expectant, believing you and Soonyoung were truly becoming a couple. And in a way, you were—just not in the conventional sense they imagined.

The next day, even though it was a promise to a drunk boy, you called Soonyoung in the morning. Like any typical business wedding, the preparations started swiftly, aiming to have the wedding happen as soon as possible. Today, you were going to choose the food and drinks for the event.

When Soonyoung arrived, he was all tidied up, but his face was clearly tired. You laughed a bit, “You look…”

He completed for you, “Fucked?”

You chuckled, “I wasn’t going to say that.”

“Long night,” he admitted, rubbing his eyes. “But I’m here.”

“Good, because we have a lot to decide,” you replied, glancing at the event agent who was discussing the dessert options.

As you both looked at the event agent, who insisted on adding superfluous things to the sweets—like a layer of gold—you exchanged amused glances. The agent was enthusiastically explaining the virtues of gold-leaf-covered desserts.

“Gold? For us to... poop?” Soonyoung murmured incredulously.

You stifled a laugh and leaned closer to him. “Can’t it be something more tasty?”

The agent looked slightly taken aback. “Gold leaf is quite a statement piece.”

Soonyoung nodded, trying to be polite. “But we were thinking of something simpler.”

“How about churros?” you suggest.

The agent blinked, clearly not expecting that. “Churros? For a wedding?”

“Why not?” you said with a grin. “They’re delicious, and everyone loves them.”

“But they don’t exactly scream luxury,” the agent protested.

“They scream fun,” Soonyoung countered. “And isn’t that what weddings are supposed to be?”

The agent sighed, making a note. “Alright, churros it is. Anything else?”

“Maybe some street-style tacos?” he added, enjoying the agent’s bewildered expression.

“Tacos?” the agent repeated, as if the word was foreign.

“Yeah, why not?” Soonyoung agreed. “Let’s keep it simple and tasty.”

The agent finally nodded, albeit reluctantly. “Very well. I’ll make the arrangements.”

Honestly, days flew by with Soonyoung by your side. Planning every little detail of the wedding together brought both fun and challenges, especially when your tastes didn’t always align. It was a bit complicated at first, like when you two were choosing the destination for your honeymoon. 

Soonyoung wanted an adventure-packed trip to the Amazon rainforest, while you preferred a relaxing beach resort in the Maldives. The negotiations were intense, but you eventually settled on a compromise.

Choosing Soonyoung’s suit also proved to be a task. He insisted on wearing a tie with a tiger print, a nod to his childhood love for tigers. You were surprised that his fascination with the big cats had persisted, but you drew the line at a tiger tie. “Absolutely not,” you told him firmly, trying to imagine the looks you’d get. “A tiger tie is a no from me, and I think a lot of people would agree.”

“Fine,” he conceded with a sigh, but you could tell he was already thinking about how to sneak a little tiger motif into his outfit.

When it came to choosing your dress, you were accompanied by your mom, Soonyoung’s mom, and his sister. 

Soonyoung, the only man in the group, tagged along as well. The other brides at the boutique initially assumed he was either your brother or your stylist. 

Their jaws nearly dropped when they overheard he was actually the groom.

One of the brides, adjusting her veil in front of a mirror, turned to you, wide-eyed. “Wait, he’s your husband-to-be?”

“Yes, he is,” you confirmed with a smile, watching Soonyoung fuss over a lace detail on one of the dresses.

Another bride laughed softly. “Lucky you! He’s so involved.”

“He’s been amazing,” you said. “Except for his obsession with tiger prints.”

Soonyoung, overhearing, grinned and walked over. “What can I say? Tigers are cool.”

“Soonyoung, you’re a unique groom,” his sister teased, shaking her head.

As you tried on dresses, Soonyoung offered his opinions with surprising thoughtfulness, balancing out his more quirky suggestions. He was genuinely invested in making sure you felt beautiful and confident in your choice.

You’d tried on everything: the biggest gowns, the tightest silhouettes, dresses with endless layers of skirts, and others that hugged your hips so closely it felt like they were molded to your skin. 

There were corsets that took your breath away—literally—and fabrics that shimmered under the boutique lights. 

But this time, when you left the dressing room, you were wearing a veil.

Soonyoung’s eyes didn’t lie for a second. He liked this one very much. The women around you—your mom, Soonyoung’s mom, and his sister—fussed over the dress, adjusting it here and there, offering compliments. But Soonyoung was speechless.

If Soonyoung were to be completely honest, up until this moment, he had always seen you as his friend, the girl he was going to marry because of an arrangement. You were the same girl who used to run around the events, eluding the security guards with your mischievous giggles. 

But now, you were different. You were a woman. His woman. And you looked stunning.

He couldn’t take his eyes off you. The transformation was breathtaking. You stood there, looking radiant in your wedding dress, and for the first time, the reality of the situation hit him. You weren’t just a friend anymore; you were about to become his partner, his wife.

He was so lost in the moment that he didn’t realize he was gawking until you and the women turned to him, waiting for his response. He blinked, snapping back to reality, and managed to find his voice.

“You look...” he started, his voice trailing off as he struggled to find the right words. “You look absolutely stunning.”

Your cheeks flushed at his earnest compliment. “You really think so?”

Soonyoung nodded, still unable to tear his eyes away. “I’ve never seen anything more beautiful.”

His sister grinned, nudging him playfully. “Told you she’d find the perfect dress.”

Your mom wiped away a tear, “You’re going to make a beautiful bride.”

Soonyoung’s mom stepped forward, adjusting a tiny detail on the veil. “This is the one. It’s perfect.”

You looked at yourself in the mirror, feeling a sense of certainty wash over you. “Yes, this is the one,” you said, smiling at the reflection and then at the people around you who made this moment even more special.

[...]

The days leading up to the wedding were a whirlwind of activity. Every day brought something new to choose, and your creativity was running dry. You were worn out, and Soonyoung knew it. Today had been particularly exhausting.

As the realtor showed you yet another option for apartments in the Metropole, you responded with short answers, your enthusiasm long gone after visiting sixteen places that day alone.

“So, what do you think?” the realtor asked.

Soonyoung noticed your hesitation. “Can I talk with my wife for a sec?” he asked.

The realtor nodded and walked off, giving you space.

“Y/N-nie... are you okay?” Soonyoung asked softly, looking at you through his lashes.

You sighed, your shoulders slumping. “I’m so tired,” you confessed.

He took a step closer, his voice softening. “Do you want to talk about it?”

You breathed out heavily. “My family is putting a lot of pressure on me, and I’m working relentlessly at the company. I can’t wait for us to get married…”

Soonyoung’s heart sank a little. “You want to get married just to get free from it?”

“No, it’s not just that. It’s everything. The wedding preparations, the constant decisions, the endless work... I feel like I’m drowning.”

He reached out, gently taking your hand. “We don’t have to rush this, you know. We can take our time.”

“But everyone’s expecting so much from us,” you replied, feeling the weight of expectations.

“Let them expect,” he said firmly. “And I want this to be as much about you as it is about us.”

“I just... I don’t want to disappoint anyone,” you admitted.

“You won’t,” Soonyoung assured you. “You’ve already done so much. It’s okay to take a step back and breathe.”

You took a deep breath, feeling a bit lighter. “Alright. Let’s look at this apartment one more time.”

Soonyoung nodded, giving you an encouraging smile. “And if it’s not the one, we’ll keep looking until we find the perfect place for us.”

You laughed softly, the tension easing. “You always know how to make things better.”

“Just doing my job as your soon-to-be husband,” he said playfully.

Soonyoung was doing an incredible job. 

From what you’d heard from friends who had gone through the same situation, they didn’t have partners like Soonyoung. You felt proud of him. 

He was your rock, making sure you took a breath when you were overwhelmed by the slightest things. He even insisted you didn't move a finger during brunch, making you so relaxed that you found the apartment you’d been searching for on the very same day.

The drive home was quiet, the car enveloped in a peaceful silence that allowed you a moment to rest. You laid your head back as he drove, appreciating the tranquility. Once you arrived, you stayed seated for a bit, soaking in the comfort of the quiet.

Soonyoung looked at you, waiting patiently. When you finally looked up, he gave you a gentle smile. “Ready to go in?”

You nodded, feeling a bit more refreshed. “Yeah, let’s go.”

He stepped out of the car and came around to your side, opening the door for you. “Take your time,” he said softly.

You appreciated his patience as you slowly got out of the car. “Thank you, Soonyoung.”

He smiled, wrapping an arm around your shoulders as you walked towards the house. “I’m just doing what any good partner would do.”

You leaned into him, feeling grateful for his support. “I don’t think everyone is as lucky as I am.”

He chuckled softly. “Well, I’m pretty lucky too, you know.”

As you entered the house, you felt a sense of relief. The apartment search was over, and you had found the perfect place. More importantly, you had Soonyoung by your side, making every step of this journey easier.

“So, what’s next on our list?” he asked, guiding you to the living room.

You sank into the couch, feeling the exhaustion of the day catch up to you. “I think a nap is next on my list.”

He laughed, sitting beside you. “That sounds like a perfect plan.”

You closed your eyes, feeling the weight of the day lift off your shoulders. “Wake me up in an hour?”

[...]

The days flew by in a blur with the whirlwind of wedding preparations. It felt like only moments ago you were choosing flowers, tasting cakes, and finalizing guest lists. 

Now, as you stood at the end of the aisle, holding a bouquet in front of Soonyoung, the reality of the moment hit you with full force.

The weight of the dress and the pressure of looking perfect made your hands sweat like never before. You felt like a porcelain doll, perfectly polished and poised.

Soonyoung stood there, his eyes fixed on you with pride. He couldn't help but feel a surge of happiness. Here you were, a perfect woman by his side, and even better, an old friend he'd known for years. 

The familiarity of your presence brought him comfort. Despite the fact that you hadn’t really dated, the idea of having someone as pretty and cool as you with him every day made him feel at ease about the whole situation.

As you walked down the aisle, your eyes met his, and a small, reassuring smile played on his lips. He looked stunning in his suit, and the way he stood tall, waiting for you, made your heart flutter. 

You could see a hint of nervousness in his eyes, mirroring your own, but there was also a calmness there, a silent promise that everything would be alright.

When you finally reached him, he extended his hand towards you. He leaned in slightly, whispering just loud enough for you to hear, “You look amazing.”

You blushed, your nerves momentarily forgotten. “Thank you. You look pretty good yourself.”

The vows were sincere, filled with heartfelt words that spoke more to your shared friendship than any romantic notion. Both of you couldn’t help but giggle as you remembered all the crazy things you’d done together as kids. 

Your minds flashed to the time you stole sweets from an event or when you both jumped into a water fountain during an important dinner with company directors.

As the officiant declared you husband and wife, all of these memories became a sweet reverie. You leaned in and whispered with a playful glint in your eye, “Are you going to kiss my lips or my cheek?”

Soonyoung blushed, clearly caught off guard by the question. A kiss on the cheek was typical in such moments since most arranged couples didn’t share a romantic bond. He stammered for a moment, his face flushing a deep shade of pink.

“Well… uh… I suppose the cheek would be safe,” he mumbled, eyes darting nervously.

You couldn’t help but chuckle softly, leaning closer. “But where’s the fun in that, Soonyoung?”

He looked at you, his eyes widening slightly. The playful challenge in your gaze gave him the courage he needed. With a deep breath, he moved in, his hand gently cupping your face.

“I think I’ll go for the lips,” he whispered back, his voice steadying.

The crowd held its breath as Soonyoung leaned in, his lips brushing yours in a soft, tender kiss. It was a simple kiss, not passionate, but filled with the warmth of years of friendship and the promise of a shared future. The applause that followed was thunderous, but all you could focus on was the feeling of his lips against yours.

As you pulled away, you both wore matching grins. “That wasn’t so bad, was it?” you teased,

He laughed, shaking his head. “Not bad at all. Actually, it was kind of nice.”

You linked arms, turning to face the crowd together. Your parents looked relieved and proud, while your friends were cheering loudly, clearly entertained by the spectacle. Soonyoung’s eyes met yours again, and there was a newfound spark there, full of possibilities.

As you both shared champagne with your parents, Soonyoung playfully asked, "No tequila tonight?" You were about to respond when his mom's voice cut in, "Tequila?"

Soonyoung’s eyes widened, and his mouth twisted into a frown as he tried to suppress his laughter. You quickly improvised, "Huh, h-he meant... tacos! We had tacos with tequila last time, remember?" You forced a smile, hoping it sounded convincing enough. His mom seemed satisfied with the answer, nodding along.

After mingling with guests—aka talking with people from work about the next meeting—you finally found a moment to escape the spotlight. You and Soonyoung crouched behind the kitchen, hiding from the crowd. The chefs chuckled at the sight of the newlyweds sneaking bites of food, but they made sure to hand you the best eats, knowing how overwhelming the day could be.

Soonyoung grinned, playfully nudging you. "We're so used to doing this at parties that we're practically pros now."

You nodded in agreement, a mischievous smile on your face. "Even though it's our own wedding party," you said, shaking your head in disbelief.

He chuckled, looking at the gold ring on your finger with a sense of wonder. "Our wedding... I still can't believe it. Oh my god, we're grown adults now."

You couldn’t help but laugh, reaching out to pat his head mockingly. "We've been grown adults for... kind of a long time already," you teased, a playful glint in your eye.

He rolled his eyes good-naturedly, then leaned in closer, his voice softening. "Yeah, but it feels different now. Like, we're really starting something new."

You nodded, feeling the weight of his words. It was true. The reality of your situation was sinking in, but in a way, it felt comforting. You had each other, and that made everything seem a little less daunting. As you sat there, hidden away from the chaos of the celebration, it struck you how much you appreciated this moment—just the two of you, stealing away for a breather.

“Shall we follow tradition?” Soonyoung asks, a playful glint in his eyes. You frown, confused, as he reaches into the fridge and pulls out a bottle of tequila.

“Should tequila be kept in the fridge?” you ask, laughing at the sight.

“I hope so,” he replies, pouring the liquid into a cup. “This one is expensive.”

You raise an eyebrow, taking the cup from him. “The cheapest has the same effect,” you say, waiting for him to pour his own.

He chuckles, raising his glass. “But today’s a special day. We deserve the good stuff.”

You laugh it off, crossing your arms before taking the shot together. The familiar burn makes you both scrunch up your faces.

The wedding party was truly one of a kind. You and Soonyoung were a bit too excited, turning the waltz space into a wild dance floor. 

At first, your parents were too embarrassed to join, especially at the sight of Soonyoung twerking on you. But soon, even the directors and business partners were on the dance floor, dancing and drinking extravagantly.

[...]

The next morning, you and Soonyoung were woken up by the buzzing of your phones. 

Your makeup was smudged and stamped on the pillow, and you were still in your wedding dress. You scratched your scalp, feeling the bobby pins still tangled in your hair. 

Soonyoung was no better; his shirt was unbuttoned to his belly button, his tie was loosened around his neck, and his hair looked like a bird's nest. He scratched his forehead groggily. Despite sharing the same bed, you both seemed unbothered by it.

You grabbed your phone and saw the company group chat flooded with messages:

“Wow, last night was incredible! Congrats to the newlyweds!”

“I can't believe we all danced that much! My feet are killing me. :')”

“Best wedding party ever! So happy for you guys!”

“My head is pounding, but it was totally worth it. ^^ Cheers to you both!”

“I’m still recovering from all that dancing. What a party!”

“Never thought I’d see the CEO breakdancing. ㅋㅋㅋㅋ”

You couldn't help but smile at the messages, as Soonyoung peeked over your shoulder, a sleepy grin spreading across his face.

“My head hurts,” Soonyoung complains, rubbing his temples.

You adjust the corset of your dress, feeling the tightness around your ribs. "My ribs are squeezed," you grumble, wincing as you try to get comfortable. "I can't believe I slept in this."

He yawns, glancing down at your leg. "You even kept the garter on," he points out, noticing the delicate band still around your thigh.

You crack your neck, feeling the weight of the long night. "Your sister gave it to me, so I put it on," you explain, lifting the voluminous skirt to reveal the bridal garter.

His eyes widen comically. "My sister?! Is there something I don't know?"

You frown at him, a bit confused. "You don’t know about the tradition?"

Soonyoung looks a bit lost, scratching his head. "I mean, it’s my first time getting married."

You sigh, laying back down. "Traditionally, the groom is supposed to take it off when... taking the virginity," you explain, watching his face turn a shade of pink.

His eyes dart around nervously, processing the information. "So... my sister thought I was... a virgin?"

You shrug, teasing, "Probably. Are you?"

He laughs nervously, rubbing the back of his neck. "Definitely not. And you?"

You raise an eyebrow, smirking. "Nope. Sorry to disappoint."

He chuckles, finally relaxing. "Good to know. Not that it matters, but... it's funny to think about how everyone just assumes stuff."

“Are you going to take it off?” you tease, stretching your leg up and wiggling your foot playfully. Your eyes glint mischievously as you watch Soonyoung’s reaction.

He scoffs, but a smile tugs at the corners of his lips. “What, you mean right now?” His eyes flicker to your thigh, then quickly back up to your face, trying to gauge if you’re serious or just messing with him.

You arch an eyebrow, maintaining your playful expression. “Why not? It’s tradition, right? Don’t you want to fulfill your husbandly duties?” You stretch your leg out further, making the garter more visible.

Soonyoung chuckles, shaking his head. “You’re unbelievable,” he mutters, but there’s a sparkle of joy in his eyes. He reaches out hesitantly, his fingers brushing lightly against your thigh. The touch sends a shiver to your skin, and you can’t help but giggle.

“What’s the matter?” you prod, your voice dripping with mock innocence. “You’re not getting cold feet, are you?”

He rolls his eyes, trying to suppress a laugh. “Not at all,” 

You bute your lip as his fingers graze the lacy fabric of the garter. His touch is feather-light, almost ticklish, and you squirm a bit under his hand.

Soonyoung smirks, clearly enjoying your reaction. “You’re squirming,” he notes, his voice low and teasing. “Does that mean you’re nervous?”

You scoff, shaking your head. “Me? Nervous? Please,” you retort, trying to sound confident despite the rapid beating of your heart. “I’m just surprised you’re taking so long. I thought you’d be an expert at this.”

He chuckles, sliding his hand a bit higher up your thigh, his thumb brushing against your skin in slow, deliberate strokes. “Oh, I am,” he replies smoothly. “Just savoring the moment.”

“Well, don’t take too long,” you murmur, your voice softening slightly. “We wouldn’t want to miss out on any other wedding traditions.”

Soonyoung grins, his fingers hooking under the garter. “Right, can’t forget those,” he says, his voice tinged with a hint of naughtiness. 

He gently tugs on the garter, slowly sliding it down your leg, his eyes never leaving yours. 

As he finally slips the garter off, he holds it up triumphantly, a goofy grin on his face. “There, tradition fulfilled,” he declares, waving the garter like a trophy.

You laugh, shaking your head at his antics. “Congratulations,” you say, clapping mockingly. “You’ve successfully removed a piece of elastic lace. Truly, a remarkable achievement.”

He bows dramatically, playing along. “Thank you, thank you,” he says, flashing you a cheeky smile. “It was a tough job, but someone had to do it.”

You can’t help but laugh, the light-hearted banter making the moment feel even more special. Soonyoung’s hand lingers on your leg for a moment longer before he finally lets go.

As Soonyoung gets up, stretching his arms with a yawn, he announces, "I'm going to take a bath." He heads towards the bathroom, closing the door behind him.

You sit up, still feeling the effects of last night's festivities, and shout after him, “Ya! Ladies first!”

From behind the closed door, you hear Soonyoung's laughter echo in the bathroom. “Sorry, didn’t hear you over the sound of me already starting the water!” he calls back, his voice filled with playful defiance.

You shake your head, smiling to yourself. It’s these little moments that make everything feel so natural and easy with him. After a few minutes, you hear the sound of running water stop, and Soonyoung emerges from the bathroom, his hair damp and a towel wrapped around his waist.

“All yours,” he says, grinning. “I left some hot water for you, too.”

You roll your eyes playfully, grabbing your toiletries and heading into the bathroom. The warm water is a welcome relief, washing away the remnants of makeup and the night's events. After a quick shower, you step out feeling slightly more human, though the hangover still lingers.

As you both finish getting ready, the thought of breakfast crosses your mind. However, just the idea of food makes your stomach churn. The hotel's breakfast spread is typically lavish, but today, the thought of greasy bacon and pastries is anything but appetizing.

Soonyoung, dressed in a casual outfit, catches your expression as you look at the food options. “Yeah, not feeling it either,” he says, rubbing his temple. “Let's skip it.”

You nod in agreement, both of you opting for just a coffee to stave off the worst of the hangover. With minimal conversation, you gather your belongings, checking out of the hotel and heading straight to the airport.

But one thing you definitely didn’t expect was Soonyoung falling asleep on your shoulder within the first thirty minutes of the flight. His head rested heavily against you, and his hand, seemingly by accident, was placed on your thigh. 

As he softly snored, you couldn’t help but chuckle at how comfortable he looked. Anyone passing by would probably think you two were an old married couple, so naturally attuned to each other.

His head's weight pressed down on your shoulder, a constant reminder of his presence. Every now and then, you felt him subconsciously moisturizing his lips, a small, almost imperceptible movement that somehow made the moment even more cute.

You glanced at the small TV screen in front of you, trying to focus on the movie playing. It was a romance novel adaptation, the kind with sweeping gestures and grand declarations of love.

Normally, you might have rolled your eyes at the cliché, but with Soonyoung sleeping peacefully beside you, it felt oddly fitting.

As the plane cruised through the sky, you found yourself getting lost in the storyline, occasionally glancing at Soonyoung. His breathing was steady, a gentle rhythm that added to the soothing hum of the plane. 

You shifted slightly, trying to get more comfortable without disturbing him, but his hand tightened instinctively on your thigh, holding you in place. It was a small, protective gesture that made your heart flutter.

What you loved the most was when Soonyoung finally woke up, blinking sleepily and then immediately apologizing. "I'm so sorry," he repeated, his face flushed with embarrassment. You chuckled, assuring him it was okay, that he had every right to rest. He seemed genuinely mortified, even offering, “You can sleep on my shoulder too, I promise.”

You smiled at his earnestness, brushing it off with a light, “Maybe on the way back, then,” as the announcement came that you were about to land.

Once you arrived, Soonyoung was quick to grab the suitcases from the taxi, his efficiency a comfort as you made your way to the hotel's check-in counter.

The concierge’s eyes seemed to linger on you a little too long, his gaze sliding over your sundress and perhaps admiring more than just the attire. 

As you waited for the receptionist, the concierge leaned casually on the counter, offering a friendly, yet slightly flirtatious, smile.

“First time here, ma’am?” he asked, his tone smooth and inviting.

“Well, yes...” you replied, keeping your voice polite but detached. You could feel the weight of his attention and tried to subtly stretch your hand, making sure the gold ring on your finger was clearly visible.

The concierge didn’t seem to get the hint, or perhaps he chose to ignore it. “You’re in for a treat. We’ve got some wonderful spots for—”

Before he could continue, you felt Soonyoung's presence behind you, a comforting warmth at your back. His body pressed lightly against yours, a subtle yet possessive gesture that didn’t go unnoticed. His hand slipped around your waist, resting just below your belly, the touch gentle but unmistakably protective.

He leaned in close, his breath warm against your ear. “Everything alright?” he murmured, his voice carrying a hint of curiosity and a subtle edge.

You could almost feel the shift in the air. The concierge straightened up, his expression flickering between surprise and a polite smile. “Oh, just making sure your stay is perfect,” he said, his tone now more professional, eyes darting between you and Soonyoung.

“Thank you,” Soonyoung replied, his voice steady. His hand didn’t move from its spot on your belly, and the slight squeeze he gave was enough to send a clear message. You leaned back into him, feeling a rush of warmth at his silent claim.

The receptionist finally returned with your room keys, handing them over with a bright, “Welcome to our hotel! We hope you enjoy your stay.” With the keys in hand, you and Soonyoung made your way to the elevator.

As the doors closed, sealing you both from the world outside, you turned to Soonyoung with a smirk. “Looks like someone’s a little possessive.”

He grinned back, a playful glint in his eyes. “Just making sure everyone knows you’re taken.”

You tease him back with a playful smirk. “Well, it’s just a business marriage. You shouldn’t worry about stuff like that,” you say, your tone light and slightly mocking.

Soonyoung scoffs, turning his gaze to the side with a dramatic sigh. “You’re such an idiot,” he mocks, a hint of a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.

“An idiot, hm?” you counter, crossing your arms with a smirk. “Well, I’m an idiot you agreed to marry, so I guess that makes you twice the fool.”

He raises an eyebrow, a teasing glint in his eyes. “Sharp tongue of yours, huh?”

You nod, feigning innocence. “What can I say? I’ve had years of practice.”

Soonyoung leans in closer, lowering his voice to a conspiratorial whisper. “You know, it’s a shame. I was really looking forward to giving you something special once we got to our hotel room.”

Your curiosity piques immediately. “Something special? Like what?”

He grins, clearly enjoying your reaction. “Oh, just something that’ll make you remember tonight.”

You raise an eyebrow, trying to gauge his meaning. “Something that’ll make me remember tonight, huh? Care to elaborate?”

Soonyoung chuckles, his eyes twinkling with mischief. “Oh, I think you already know what I’m talking about.”

You narrow your eyes, playfully challenging him. “Do I? Because you’re being awfully vague.”

He leans back, enjoying the game. “Well, I guess you’ll just have to wait and see.”

The teasing glint in his eyes only fuels your curiosity further. You know exactly what he’s implying, but you play along, eager to hear him say it outright.

“So,” you press, “what is it? Can you give me a hint?”

Soonyoung’s grin widens, clearly relishing the moment. “Let’s just say it’s something that’ll make you very excited. And not just because of the hotel’s decor.”

You roll your eyes, laughing softly. “Alright, alright. I get it. You’re being all mysterious.”

You sulk, trailing behind Soonyoung as he walks down the hallway toward your room. “Tell me, pleeeease,” you plead.

Soonyoung glances back at you with a mischievous smile. “Nope, not telling,” he says, his grin widening as he enjoys your insistence.

When you reach the door, Soonyoung unlocks it and pushes it open, gesturing for you to enter. You walk in, your eyes scanning the room briefly, but your focus quickly returns to Soonyoung. He places the suitcases by the door and then hops onto the bed, sprawling out with a relaxed sigh.

You stay standing by the door, your arms crossed over your chest, giving him a sulky, upset look. 

“So,” Soonyoung says with a defiant glare, “am I forgetting something?”

You pout, trying to look as curious and frustrated as possible. “You’ve got me curious,” you admit, your eyes wide.

He laughs, brushing his hand through his hair with a playful sigh. “You’re almost throwing a tantrum over this?”

Soonyoung slides his hand down his abdomen slowly, getting lower and lower, until he's wrapping his fingers around his cock through his white shorts. The outline is clear, thick, and perfectly defined against the fabric.

He gives it a little shake, a sly smile playing on his lips as he watches your reaction.

You stare at him in shock, your knees almost giving way as you take in the sight. Your mouth opens slightly, but no words come out as you struggle to process what you're seeing.

Soonyoung’s smile widens, clearly enjoying the effect he’s having on you. “Are you surprised?”

He chuckles softly, clearly pleased with your reaction. “Well, I figured it was time to give you a little hint,” he says, his hand still resting casually on his bulge. “So, do you think you’re ready to find out what else I have in store for tonight?”

You stammer, unable to look away from the outline of his cock pressed against the fabric of his shorts. “Do we have to wait until nightfall?”

Soonyoung licks his lips, his gaze never leaving you. “Oh,” he drawls, “but you have to walk properly tonight, so we can go to the restaurant.”

Your eyes darken, a fire igniting within you. “You think I can’t handle all of this inside?” 

He raises an eyebrows. “You shouldn’t,” he says, his voice dripping with devilishness. “It’s just a business wedding, after all.”

You narrow your eyes at him. “Just a business wedding, huh? You really want to test me?”

Soonyoung chuckles, clearly enjoying the playful back-and-forth. “That’s right. Let’s see if you can keep your composure while we enjoy a nice dinner.”

You take a deep breath, feeling a rush of adrenaline. “Challenge accepted,” 

You’ve never been so turned on by someone’s mere presence before. The entire city tour was a cruel game of torture, all at Soonyoung’s hands. 

In the taxi, his hand had wandered to your nude thigh, brushing against your skin like a feather. The way his fingers lightly caressed your inner leg made your heart race and your breath catch. 

At the restaurant, the casual caresses continued. His leg pressed against yours under the table, his touch lingering just a moment longer than necessary.

The warmth of his skin against yours, the way he would occasionally let his knee slide up your thigh—each movement was like an electric current surging through you, leaving you squirming in your seat.

Walking through the jewelry fair was an exercise in restraint. As you admired the sparkling displays, Soonyoung’s hands kept drifting to the exposed skin of your back. His touch was light, almost playful, but each graze against your bare skin made you shiver with need. 

You could barely focus on the dazzling jewels in front of you; your mind was consumed with the need for him.

By the time you were back in the elevator, you felt like you were on the edge of losing control. You could feel his eyes on you, sharp and hungry, as you pressed yourself against the wall. 

You turned your face away, but you couldn’t hide the truth from him. Your nipples, straining against your dress, betrayed your arousal. Your legs, pressed tightly together, were a clear sign of your desperation. Even your unsteady breaths gave you away.

When you finally arrived at the hotel room, you barely made it inside before your desperation took over. 

You throw him against the wall, hands planted firmly on his chest. The sound reverberates through the room, probably making the neighbors wonder what the hell is going on. His usually small eyes are wide, staring at you flaggerblasted. 

Your breath mingles with his as you lean in, letting your lips barely graze his. Your voice comes out breathy, almost desperate, “Please. Stop teasing me.”

For a moment, he's stunned, caught off guard by the whininess in your voice and the look on your face—like you might break if he doesn't give you what you need right now.

It's a twisted scenario, considering you're his childhood friend turned wife is standing before him with an expression that borders on agony—an agony only he can alleviate.

For a moment, he looks like he might laugh, but he knows he's on the verge of losing all sense of control, but a part of him relishes the idea. 

“Say it again,” he murmurs. He knows he's playing with fire, but he can't resist the thrill. His lips barely brush against yours, teasing, taunting.

“Soonyoung, I'm going to fucking cry if you don't—”

“Hold it,” he commands,you shudder, your breath hitching as he lifts your dress. And you comply, bunching the fabric in your fists to keep it out of the way. 

His hand slides down the front of your panties, and your head falls back. 

Soonyoung leans in, his lips ghosting over your ear. “You’re so fucking impatient,” he growls. 

His fingers slide through your slick folds, finding you wet and wanting, throbbing everytime he rubs his fat fingers on you. “You’ve never even tasted my cock, and you’re already obsessed, huh?” He presses his thumb against your clit, making you gasp. “You’re such a needy little thing, aren’t you?”

You whimper, your hips bucking against his hand. You can barely think straight. “Please, Soonyoung,” you beg again, your voice cracking.

He chuckles darkly, clearly relishing your desperation. “You want my cock so bad, don't you?” His fingers slide inside you, curling just right, and you cry out. “You want me to fuck you senseless? Make you scream my name?”

“Yes,” you breathe, your voice barely a whisper. The words spill out of you, unfiltered and raw. “I want you to ruin me.”

“You’ve never had anyone fill you up like I will,” he says. “I’m gonna stretch you out so good, baby. You’ll be begging for more, even when you can’t take it.”

The dirty talk, the sheer vulgarity of his words, makes you even wetter. You feel like you're on the verge of losing control, and it's rousing. 

Soonyoung's fingers pump in and out of you, each thrust bringing you closer to the edge. His thumb rubs relentless circles on your clit, and you can feel the tension building, winding tighter and tighter.

“You’re gonna cum on my fingers first,” he whispers. “And then I’m gonna fuck you so hard, you won’t be able to walk straight for days. Is that what you want, baby? To be fucked so good, you can’t even think about anything else?”

“Yes, yes, please,” you pant, your voice high and desperate. You can feel the orgasm building, Soonyoung's touch is all-consuming, driving you wild with every stroke.

“Such a good girl,” he murmurs.“So eager to please. I’m gonna make you feel so fucking good.”

Here and there, Soonyoung is driving you insane with his body affixed to the wall, one strong arm holding your leg up. His wrist swiveling to match his fingers as they explore your weeping cunt and his repetitive rubbing of the areas that cause you to roll your eyes. 

You cry out, gasping as you roll your hips onto his fingers, the orgasm making you forget what would be appropriate at the time. Soonyoung's fingers work you through it, drawing out every last drop of you.

As you come down from the high, you realize you're still clinging to him, fingers deep on his muscular shoulders, your breaths coming in hiccups. Soonyoung pulls his fingers out of you, and you feel a pang of loss.

Your legs feel like jelly, and you can barely stand. Soonyoung catches you, pulling you close. 

Soonyoung's eyes rake over you, his smirk widening as he takes in the sight of your trembling legs. “You're trembling,” he chuckle. His gaze drops to the slick mess between your thighs, and he bites his lip, clearly reveling in the sight. “Better than this... you're literally dripping,” appreciating. 

He lets your leg down, holding you firmly as he guides you back onto the bed. The plush mattress sinks under your weight.

“God forgive me,” he continues, “but if our mothers weren't in that dressing room that day, I would've fucked you right there in the store. With that princess veil of yours... I would've pinned you against the mirror and made you scream my name.”

Your mouth falls open. The image of him taking you into that bridal shop, surrounded by white lace and satin, ​​hitting you like a punch to the gut.

You're not sure what shocks you more: his bold declaration or the way your body reacts to it, growing wetter with every word.

He smirks at your reaction.

“What's the matter, princess? Cat got your tongue?" He teases. His fingers slip under the waistband of your panties, slowly dragging them down your legs. “Or are you just too turned on to speak?"

He's right; you're completely at his mercy, unable to form a coherent thought, let alone a response.

He strips off his shirt, revealing the sculpted lines of his torso, then shucks off his shorts. His erection strains against the fabric of his boxers, and he groans, closing his eyes and tilting his head back as he palms himself.

“I could've fucked you on that altar,” he visualize. "In front of all those guests. Just to show everyone that no matter how arranged this marriage was, you're mine. No one else's.”

He opens his eyes, locking onto yours. “I would've spread you open right there, had you screaming my name, showing them all who you belong to."

His dirty words, the way he claims you with every syllable, makes your head spin.

Soonyoung's hand moves over his bulge, his eyes never leaving yours. “You don't even know how much I've wanted you,” he hisses. “How much I want to fuck you senseless, make you mine in every way.”

He leans over you, his breath hot against your ear. “And tonight, I'm going to do just that. I'm going to fuck you so hard, you'll forget about everyone else. Just me, and this cock inside you, filling you up until you can't think straight.”

You squirm, your body responding to his filthy promises. You can't tear your eyes away from him, your mind racing with the possibilities of what the night holds. 

Soonyoung's fingers brush against the hem of your dress, and you shudder at the contact. “Take it off,” he orders, his voice rough. “I want you naked, spread out on this bed, ready for me.” His eyes bore into yours, and you know he's not just asking—he's demanding. 

You slip your dress over your head, tossing it aside as you finally catch sight of Soonyoung completely naked. His hand moves over his erection, the cockhead glistening with precum. The sight makes you lick your lips.

“Can you—” he starts to ask, but you cut him off, not needing him to finish.

“Yes!” you nearly moan. His eyes darken, a smirk playing on his lips as you drop to your knees in front of him.

You take a moment to appreciate the sight before you. His cock is thick and veined, the head an angry red, glossy with precum. You can almost taste it just from looking.

Tentatively, you lean in and press a soft kiss to the tip, tasting the salty precum on your tongue. It's musky and slightly bitter, but it makes you want to choke on this cock. You swirl your tongue around the head, savoring the taste and the way his breath hitches above you.

Soonyoung's hand tangles in your hair, guiding you closer. “Yes, baby,” he groans, his voice thick with need. “Just like that.”

Encouraged by his reaction, you take him deeper into your mouth, your lips stretching around his girth. The texture of his cock is smooth yet rigid, the veins pulsating against your tongue. You hollow your cheeks, creating a tight seal as you bob your head, taking more of him with each movement.

His hips jerk forward involuntarily, and you hear a strangled moan escape his lips. “Shit, that feels so good,” he pants, his grip on your hair tightening. You look up at him through your lashes, your eyes meeting his. The sight of him looking down at you, his face twisted in pleasure, spurs you on.

You slide your hand up his thigh, wrapping it around the base of his cock to stroke what you can't fit in your mouth. Your other hand cups his balls, gently massaging them as you continue to suck him. 

You hum around his length, sending vibrations through him. He shudders, a deep groan rumbling from his chest. “You're so fucking good at this,” he praises, his voice breathless. “So eager, so perfect.”

You moan around his cock at the praise. You take him deeper, pushing your limits as you feel him hit the back of your throat. You gag slightly but push through, wanting to please him, wanting to show him how much you want this.

“Y/N,” he gasps, his hips bucking forward again. “You're going to make me cum if you keep doing that.”His voice is strained, you don't know if he's warning you or if he's desperate.

You don't let up, doubling your efforts. You suck harder, your tongue swirling around the sensitive head every time you pull back. Your hand continues to pump the base of his cock, matching the rhythm of your mouth. You can feel him throbbing, his cock pulsing with need.

Soonyoung's moans grow louder, more desperate. His breaths come in uneven pants, his body tense with the need for release. “Fuck, Y/N, I'm so close,” he warns, his voice breaking.

You look up at him, your eyes locking with his as you take him even deeper. You want to see him come undone, to watch him lose control because of you. You feel his cock twitch in your mouth, and with one last swirl of your tongue, he lets out a choked moan.

He comes hard, his hips jerking as he spills into your mouth. The taste of his release floods your senses, warm and salty. You swallow every drop, savoring the way he trembles above you. His hand in your hair tightens, holding you in place as he rides out his orgasm.

His hand gently strokes your hair after, a contrast to the rough grip from moments before. You pull back, licking your lips and savoring the last taste of him.

He lifts you up effortlessly, his lips crashing into yours. He doesn't care that his cock was just in your mouth seconds ago or that his cum lingers on your tongue. The taste of himself on your lips makes him moan, the sound vibrating between you.

After a moment, he pulls back, one hand wrapping around your throat, not tight but firm enough to make you feel his presence. His eyes bore into yours, as he licks his sensitive lips.

“You were sucking me so good,” he rasps, “that I almost said ‘I love you’.” 

A laugh bursts out of you, hearty and genuine, and he watches you with a smirk. 

“I swear,” he continues, his tone playful. “if I'd known marrying you would come with benefits like this, I would've done it way sooner.” “I feel like I owe you something after that blowjob,” he says, his voice dropping into a deeper, more sultry tone.

You bite your lip, a dirty thought flashing through your mind, and Soonyoung picks up on it immediately. Soonyoung's gaze narrows, reading the filth in your expression

“What is it? What do you want?” he asks excitedly.

“Can you fuck me… doggy style?” you ask.

“Yes, I can,” The corners of his mouth twitch, barely holding back a grin.

You look up, pretending to be lost in thought, then say, “Can you fuck me in missionary?”

He nods again, biting his lip, his grip on your throat tightening just a little.

“Can you fuck me inside… the shower?” 

He presses you tightly against him, his hand gripping your waist possessively, but your gaze still eating him whole. 

“I can fuck you upside down, sideways, any way you want, baby,” he answers, his voice steady and confident. “Just say the word, and I'll make it happen.”

You moan in response. Too early to say that you're already dumb for his cock?

“Get on all fours and lift that pretty ass for me.”

As you crawl up the bed, you make sure to put on a show. You arch your back, lifting your ass higher, giving Soonyoung the view he wants. You wiggle it a little, teasing him. 

The motion makes your pussy lips part slightly, already slick and ready for him. You can feel his eyes on you, burning with thirst. Without warning, his hand comes down hard on your ass, the sharp sting making you gasp. You let out a yelp. You know that mark will be there tomorrow, like a postmark, like a stamp, like a reminder of this moment, and the thought makes you even wetter.

He moves behind you, the bed dipping under his weight. You feel his hands on your hips, gripping you firmly as he positions himself. You can't help but push back against him, seeking more contact.

“So fucking perfect,” he mutters, running his hands over the curves of your ass, squeezing the flesh and kneading it roughly. He spreads you open, taking in the sight of your wetness.  “Look at how ready you are for me. You're dripping, baby.”

You moan, pushing back against him, desperate for more. “Please, Soonyoung, I need you.”

“Fuck, you sound so desperate,” he taunts, positioning himself behind you. His cock slides against your folds, teasing you, making you whimper. “Beg for it. Beg for my cock.”

“Please, Soonyoung, fuck me,” you whine. “I need your cock inside me, please. I can’t wait any longer.”

He doesn't tease, doesn't make you wait any longer. He thrusts in with one hard, deep stroke, filling you completely. The sudden intrusion makes you cry out, a slight discomfort as your walls stretch around him. But it makes your toes curl. 

“God, you’re so tight,” he groans, gripping your hips as he starts to move. “So fucking tight and wet for me. You feel that? That’s my cock stretching your pussy.”

You moan loudly, the pleasure building with each thrust. “Yes, Soonyoung, I feel it. It feels so good. Fuck me harder.”

He picks up the pace, his hips snapping against yours, the sound of skin slapping skin filling the room. He reaches around, his fingers finding your clit, rubbing it in tight, fast circles. The sudden burst of pleasure makes you gasp, your body jolting.

He pulls back slowly, only to slam back in, setting a rough, punishing rhythm, making you roll your eyes back.

He's so deep, hitting spots you didn't even know existed. Each thrust makes you see stars, and you can't help but moan loudly, not caring if the entire hotel hears you. The stretch, the fullness, it's all so overwhelming, so fucking good.

“Come on,” he urges, voice a low growl. “Cum for me, baby. Let me feel you squeeze this cock.”

It's all too much. The feel of his cock, his fingers on your clit, the dirty words spilling from his lips—it all sends you over the edge. The second orgasm of the night making you feel already exhausted. Your voice hoarse, as you feel yourself sloppier between your legs. 

There's no mercy in his movements; he's fucking you through your high, pushing you beyond your limits. Each time he hits your cervix, a sharp jolt of pleasure-pain ripples through you, making your arms tremble uncontrollably.

You try to hold yourself up, but your strength falters. With a soft cry, your arms give out, and your chest falls against the bed. Soonyoung lets out a low chuckle, a smug grin spreading across his face as he watches you crumble beneath him. Even with your body slack, you're impossibly tight around him, your pussy squeezing him like a vice. 

Soonyoung’s hands grip your hips tightly, holding you in place as he continues to pound into you from behind. You can feel his cock throbbing inside you, stretching you, making your walls clench involuntarily around him. 

He leans over you, his breath hot against your ear, and you can hear the pride in his voice as he coos, “Aww, look at you. So fucking helpless, so fucking wrecked. You can’t even hold yourself up, can you?” 

You can barely muster a response, a breathy whimper escaping your lips as you feel the tears start to stream down your cheeks. It’s an almost incredulous feeling, the tears mixing with the sweat on your face. 

You’ve never been fucked like this before, never been pushed to the brink and then beyond, your body betraying you as it trembles under his control. It’s a raw, visceral experience that leaves you gasping for air, your mind a hazy blur of feel.

Soonyoung notices the tears, and his smirk grows wider. “Look at you, crying for me,” he murmurs, his voice low and husky. “Is it too much, baby? Too fucking good? Love being fucked so hard you can’t even think straight?” 

His hand moves from your hip to your hair, tangling his fingers in it and pulling your head back, forcing you to arch your back even more. The angle shifts, and he hits that perfect spot inside you, making you moan loudly, your voice cracking with the intensity of it all.

“You’re so fucking tight,” he groans, his hips snapping forward with even more force. “God, you’re squeezing me so fucking hard. It’s like your pussy doesn’t want to let me go.” He punctuates his words with deep, hard thrusts that leave you reeling, each one sending a jolt of pleasure-pain through your body.

“So pretty when you cry,” he continues, his tone almost taunting. “I could do this all day, just watch you fall apart on my cock” His words are filthy, degrading, but they ignite something inside you, a desperate need for more. 

The way he speaks to you, the way he claims you with each word and each thrust, is addictive.

You can’t hold back your sobs. “Please,” you manage to choke out, not even sure what you’re begging for anymore. 

More, less, anything—just something to ease the dizzying sensation coursing through you.

He laughs softly, a dark, knowing sound that makes your skin prickle. “Please what, baby? You want me to stop? You want me to fuck you harder?” 

He pulls out almost completely, the emptiness leaving you gasping, and then slams back in with a force that makes your whole body jolt.

“You’re so fucking greedy. Can’t get enough, can you? You want this cock to ruin you, want me to fuck you so good you’ll feel it for days.”

All you can do is moan and sob, your body shuddering with each thrust as he pounds into you. The bed creaks under the force of his movements, it’s dirty, raw, and utterly nasty.

“Gonna make you cum again,” he murmurs, his voice a dark promise. 

And as you feel the tension building inside you again, that familiar coil of pleasure tightening in your belly—you know he’s right.

He lays you gently on the bed, your back sinking into the mattress. Your face, flushed and glistening with sweat, looks completely wrecked, completely exhausted. Soonyoung feels a brief flicker of pity, but it quickly dissipates as you babble out your dirty words, barely coherent but dripping with need. “Please... Soonyoung... more, need you so bad... fuck…”

He smirks, spreading your wobbly legs apart, exposing the slick, swollen mess between them. “You can barely form a sentence, and yet you still want more.”

He slides his cock back inside you, stretching you open once more. 

Soonyoung's thumb finds your clit again, and he begins to work it in slow, light-touch circles. The sensation is maddening, a delicious contrast to the deep, methodical thrusts of his cock. 

He watches your face intently, drinking in every expression, every gasp and whimper."That's it, baby," he coos. “Let me see that pretty face when you cum.”

You can barely keep your eyes open, your body overly sensitive from the previous orgasms, but he doesn't let up.

His other hand moves to your chest, fondling your breast, his fingers pinching and rolling your nipple before sliding up to wrap around your throat. This time, the grip is firm, real, and you can feel the delicious pressure as he chokes you just enough to make your head spin.

He leans in closer, his eyes never leaving your face. 

You cling to him, your arms wrapping tightly around his body, pulling him closer as if you could merge with him, become one. The scent of sweat and skin mingling in the air—it all consumes you. 

Your body is trembling, the tension coiling tighter and tighter in your core, a white-hot band of pressure that threatens to snap. Soonyoung's moans are louder now, but they seem distant, like they're coming from underwater, muffled by the roaring in your ears.

His pace quickens, and you feel yourself losing control, your mind slipping away from the physical world. The room, the bed, even Soonyoung—all of it fades into the background. 

There's only the blinding, all-encompassing pleasure that fills every nerve, every cell in your body. It's like being pulled under a wave, the sensation crashing over you with a force that's almost violent.

Your thighs tremble uncontrollably, and you can feel the muscles in your abdomen clenching, the buildup to your orgasm reaching its peak.

And then, it hits. The climax rips through you, a white-hot explosion that leaves you gasping, the world narrowing down to the blinding sensation of pure, unadulterated pleasure. 

Your back arches off the bed, your mouth opening in a silent scream as your vision goes white. The intensity is mind-numbing, erasing everything else from your mind except the overwhelming euphoria that pulses through you.

Your body shakes with the force of it, your legs quivering, toes curling as the pleasure radiates outward from your core. You can feel the slickness between your thighs, the way your walls flutter and squeeze around Soonyoung, pulling him deeper inside you. 

Soonyoung's name falls from your lips in a choked sob, your voice hoarse and trembling. 

You slowly come back to reality, feeling the weight of Soonyoung's body on top of you, his cum warm and sticky between your bellies.

Soonyoung pants loudly, trying to catch his breath. He lifts his head slightly to look at you, concern flickering in his eyes despite the satisfied smile on his lips. “You okay, wifey?” he asks.

You manage a weak smile, still feeling the aftershocks of your intense orgasm. “I’m okay, hubby,”

His smile widens, and he leans down to press a gentle kiss to your forehead. “Good,” he murmurs. “You were amazing.”

You chuckle softly, the sound a bit strained. “You weren’t too bad yourself,” you tease, your hand coming up to rest on his back, feeling the muscles still taut from effort.

He laughs, the sound rumbling through his chest and vibrating against your own. “Glad I could satisfy my wife on our first night together,” 

“Think we should clean up?” Soonyoung asks after a while.

“Probably,” you agree, though neither of you makes a move to get up just yet. You’re too content, too wrapped up in the warmth and comfort of each other’s presence.

Eventually, with a reluctant sigh, Soonyoung shifts, carefully pulling away from you. The cool air hits your skin, making you shiver slightly. He helps you sit up, his hands gentle and supportive as you both make your way to the bathroom.

The weight of the wedding ring on your finger feels heavier now, more symbolic than ever. It’s not just a piece of jewelry; it’s a constant reminder of the commitment you’ve made and the life you’re building together.

Soonyoung, despite his own exhaustion, is kneeling beside the tub, gently washing you. His focused expression as he works to make sure you’re clean and comfortable. The sight of him, so dedicated and caring, makes your heart swell.

You feel a pang of guilt as you see the tiredness etched on his face, a reminder of how much he’s given for you, both physically and emotionally. Your legs, still trembling from the aftermath of the passion, had given up on you, leaving you reliant on him. The thought of him taking care of you, even in his weariness, makes you feel both grateful and a bit ashamed.

“Hey,” you say softly, reaching out to gently touch his arm. “You don’t have to do this. I can manage on my own.”

Soonyoung looks up at you, his eyes softening as he smiles. “I want to,” he says quietly. “You took care of me earlier, and now it’s my turn to take care of you. Besides, it’s kind of nice, being able to do this for you.”

You look him in the eye and sense the truth in his words. His warm, comforting smile belies the weariness that is evident in the lines on his face. 

[...]

As you and Soonyoung lie together in bed, the room is quiet except for the soft rustling of the sheets and the occasional sigh from either of you. The memories of what just happened still lingers in the air, making both of you feel a bit shy and stunned.

As Soonyoung lays his head on your chest, you can feel the warmth of his breath against your skin. He sighs contentedly, his fingers lightly tracing patterns around your breast. 

“So,” he begins, his voice tinged with both surprise and a hint of playfulness, “when I hinted at what I wanted, I honestly didn’t think you'd go for it. I was kind of... hoping, but also preparing for a rejection.”

You chuckle softly, your fingers running through his hair. “Oh really? And why not?”

“Well, for one, you’re ridiculously hot. I didn’t think you’d be that into it right off the bat.”

You giggle, feeling a rush of confidence. “Oh, come on. Why wouldn’t I? You’re hot, and let’s be honest, you knew exactly what you were doing.”

“Damn, so you think I’m hot, huh? And here I was thinking I’d have to put in a little more effort.” He rises to look at you, but you make him lay again, your cheeks flushed.

“I can’t believe we managed to go from ‘I do’ to ‘Let’s fuck’ in just a few days. We really don’t waste any time, do we?” You say, grinning. 

“Yeah, I guess I underestimated how much I’d resist you, but I knew I was in trouble from the moment we got married… I thought I’d be a strong soldier, holding out a bit longer.”

He hums thinking. 

“I’m surprised I managed to hold out for as long as I did.” he finishes.

You raise an eyebrow, a naughty smile playing on your lips. "Well, I guess you’re not as disciplined as you thought. Seems like you fell for me quicker than you’d like to admit.”

Soonyoung’s eyes sparkle. “You’ve got me completely hooked.”

You let out a dramatic sigh, your hand resting on his cheek. “Poor soldier. Captured by the enemy and all. What will you do now?”

He leans in, brushing his lips against yours in a tender kiss. "I guess I’ll just have to surrender to you completely.”

“Even the strongest can fall. And let’s be real, I’m pretty good at making sure my soldiers surrender.” You shrugged, smirking. 

He bursts into laughter, shaking his head in disbelief. “Damn, you really know how to make a guy feel like a total pushover.”

“I plan on keeping you hooked, you know—well, at least until the next time we have a ‘conversation’ like tonight."

Your birthdays. Your exams at school. When he had his first crush. And first heartbreak. And you had yours. When he gave his first kiss and came all giggly to tell you about how it felt. When he told you he would audition to become a trainee and you accompanied him to the small company. When you told him you'd pursue a career in arts much to your parents dismay and he supported you all the way through.

There wasn't a moment when you haven't been by each other side.

Even after he debuted and he had a terrible schedule and concerts and tours, he'd still make time for you, even if meant take you to the mess that was the dorm for you to unwind about life.

Years and years of friendship was hard to break. Some have tried though. There were girls he was talking to that the moment they expressed their dislike on you or your friendship he would cut ties immediately. "No girl is worth to end a friendship for".

After you finished college and got a home office job, you started to spend more and more time at his house and, because of that, spend more time with his friends than before. Especially Woozi.

The boys would often let you crash at their apartment to work since you'd frequently feel alone at your own apartment, the silence too loud to let you work. Each one of you would be doing your own stuff, you working on your computer, Hoshi mindlessly scrolling through his phone and Jihoon locked at his studio working on a new song or something.

Occasionally, you and Jihoon would work together, he'd allow you to enter his sanctuary of a studio and work from there, just to make him company. The boy would ask you opinions on lyrics and beats and, even though you didn't understand much of music production, you'd still gave him your opinion and perception as an outsider, which he always appreciated, thanking you with a shy smile.

More you'd spend time with him, more you realized you started to develop feelings for the boy. But you kept quiet because maybe it was just because it had been a while you've met new people, and he treated you so well and you felt seen every time you two would talk. Maybe it was because he always let you have the last piece of pizza on movie nights or tucked you to not feel cold after you fell asleep on their couch. Maybe you just were love deprived.

It was another one of those days, you and your best friend in the living room and Jihoon stuck in his studio until he left for a meeting or something at the company.

The door clicked close and Soonyoung lifted himself from the sofa and sat in front of you on the table, face propped in his hands while he stared at you. "What?" you asked without even take the eyes out of your screen.

"When are you planning to tell me?"

"Tell you what exactly?" you half-closed the lid of your laptop to look at him, he held a mischievous grin.

"That you like Woozi" you widened your eyes but soon went back to normal hoping he had seen nothing. He did see. "Oh c'mon, yn" he rolled his eyes and leaned closer to you. "It's not like you're the most discreet person I know"' you sighed and turned to the side to uselessly hide your burning cheeks. "So… you do like him?"

"I-I don't know for sure" you turned to finally look at him again. "I think it might be a stupid little crush because it's been a while, you know?" he nodded. "It's nothing, don't think too much into it" he nodded even though he wasn't convinced, but he let it slide.

»»——⊙——««

The days that followed Hoshi watched you two closely and tried his best to play matchmaker.

Incredibly so, it worked. You and Woozi found yourselves getting closer than before, talking more than usual, even hanging out without the presence of the third friend.

You'd enter the apartment, say hi to your friend and go straight to Jihoon's studio to work by his side. Sometimes there would be barely any work done, you two would spend the entire time talking, laughing and sharing stories about each other and Hoshi.

One particular day, you ended up sleeping at the sofa the boy kept in his studio, curled up in his hoodie and softly snoring. You woke up with him crouched by your side, fingers gently caressing your cheeks with a soft smile that you had never seen him give you before. He gently lowered his face until his lips touched yours. Gentle. Caring.

You felt your cheeks heat at the contact but kissed him back, closing your eyes and lifting yourself from the sofa. Jihoon held your face between his hands as he stared into your eyes as if he searched for any sign of resistance or that you didn't want him. When he found none, he kissed you again, this time it wasn't a simple peck. He moved his lips and angled his head so he could have more access and control over you. You felt like floating, eyes fluttering while shut at the touch of his lips on yours, of his hands on you.

The two of you kept kissing slowly and gently like that for a while, until your lungs gave up and begged for you two to break the kiss. A small and almost inaudible whine leaving your lips.

The boy kept kissing you though, going down to your jaw and neck, making your mouth open looking for air and eyes shut again, enjoying the moment. His left hand held your waist tightly, while his right hand was holding your neck possessively, grabbing the hairs on the nape and making you almost whine at the sting. He left a trail of butterfly kisses down to your neck, pulling the neckline of his hoodie down so he could have access to your shoulder. You whined the moment he bit into the juncture between your neck and shoulder, back arching into him.

That was all he needed to grab you fully by your waist and pull you straddling his lap. The position making your whole body warm up in both shame and need. Before you could even think further he pulled you back to kiss him, this time with more hunger, more need. You felt like he was trying to eat your lips. And still you wouldn't complain. He licked your lips and you opened them, having your mouth instantly being invaded by his warm tongue, that found yours and invited it to a dance.

The kiss got heated quickly. Your bodies got heated quickly. And the air-con in the room was doing nothing to soothe the burning sensation all over your bodies.

Woozi started to play with the hem of his hoodie you were wearing before pulling it up and taking it off of you, your cute little shirt hugging all your curves that the big thick piece was hiding. He started to kiss your neck again and you threw your head back, giving him more access to your throat.

You two were so entranced on each other that he didn't realize he was moaning against your skin and that you were grinding against his clothed length slowly.

It was just when you felt his hands slipping under your shirt and touching your skin, and that you felt his hard on starting to poke between your legs that you finally came back to your senses and frozen in place, holding him away from you.

His breathing was erratic, his lips red and swollen from kissing, eyes glassy and dark. You felt bad. "Is… is everything ok? Did I do something?" He asked worried, voice low and growly, too sexy for your own good.

You denied with your head and took a deep breath. "No! No! It's just… I… aren't we going too fast?" You asked, trying to pry away from the real problem in your head.

"If you think that's fast then that's fast" he caressed your back and kissed your forehead, you melted. "We'll go by your rhythm, ok?" You nodded and gave him a half smile.

"Thank you" you whispered and gave a weak peck on his lips before lifting yourself from his lap. The bulge in his pants very visible and you suddenly felt bad for leaving him like that. "I… I gotta go" he nodded and you waved goodbye before grabbing your stuff quickly and leaving.

You didn't even say your goodbye to Soonyoung. All you wanted was to go home and take a cold shower.

»»——⊙——««

It had been more than a week since the studio happening. You didn't have the courage to show up at their apartment again. You gave excuses of having too much work and they were distracting you, that your company was doing a series of meetings for the new event they were organizing and you were working on. You were starting to run out of excuses.

Jihoon would send you messages almost everyday, even if it was just to send a good morning or a have a great day at work. You felt bad running away from him like that. But you panicked.

You needed help and there was only one person that you could trust enough to help you in that situation.

As soon as you entered the apartment, Hoshi came running to you and engulfed you in a tight hug, lifting you from the ground and spinning you. Giggles left you as you welcomed his warm hug.

"I thought you had forgotten about your best friend" he pouted looking at you, arms still at your waist.

You rolled your eyes and left his embrace, moving to sit on the couch. "Are you sure Jihoon is not home?" You asked and he shook his head.

"He went to visit his family this weekend" you nodded and he sat by your side. "Why? Are you running from him?" He chuckled but you bit your lower lip in anxiety. "Wait, really?"

"It's not exactly running" you answered and turned yourself to fully look at him. "It's just…" you sighed, looked at your own fiddling hands and looked back at Soonyoung, that was watching you with intent, head slightly cocked like a curious puppy. "Last time I was here we kissed"

Hoshi put his hands on his mouth in surprise, a smile on his face "omg really? Like, kissed kissed?" You nodded.

"And we kinda started making out a little"

"With me in the house? You nasty little freaks" he joked but stopped when he saw your serious face. "But what's wrong? Did you not like it? Is he bad? Does he have a bad breath?" You chuckled and shook your head. "Then what is it?"

You fiddled with your fingers. "You know how I was never able to have a real relationship?" You looked at him and he nodded. "Well…" his eyes widened and he grabbed you by your shoulders.

"Wait! Are you still a virgin?" You flew your hands to hide your face, embarrassment taking over your entire body. "No! No! I didn't meant like that, babe!" He pulled your hands away from your burning face. "I just thought that you never told me"

"Soonie, we are best friends, I'd tell you about my first time if had happened. Like you told me about yours" he nodded slowly. "It's just… I never got the opportunity, ya know? And when me and Jihoon started making out and he tried to take my shirt off I freaked out and ran away" he couldn't help but laugh a little at you.

"I can't believe you are almost thirty and still acting like a teenager" he smiled and ruffled your hair.

"Can you blame me tho'?" He denied with his head and you looked at your nails again, the little skin lifting up at your cuticles more interesting than anything else. "That's why I kinda need your help"

He straightened his back and stared at you like he was staring into your soul "my help? Like… like what?"

"C-can you… like… teach me?" His eyes widened "only because I don't want to look like a loser to Jihoon and I trust you with my life and… I don't know what else to do. We don't have to do anything, just… tell me… about… sex" you shied at the end.

"But what about porn and stuff like that? Have you touched yourself at least?" You nodded.

"I don't believe in porn, I think it's too fake, too in the face, you know? And yeah, I touch myself from time to time, I'm a virgin not a prude" you slightly punched his shoulder and laughed, trying to ease the tension and the mood. "You obviously can say no if you don't want to"

"It's not that" he assured you, his shoulders slumping. "I'm worried about after, will it change us? Because I don't want it to change us"

"Me neither" you assumed. "Think about as two best friends helping each other"

"What do I get from that?"

"I don't know?" You laughed and threw your head back into the couch's back. "It's crazy isn't it? Forget about it. I was just desperate. I will tell Jih-" you barely could finish the sentence when you felt your friend's lips on yours.

It was quick, almost like a test. But his plush lips felt so soft against yours.

You two looked at each other and he kissed you again. It felt weird to kiss your best friend yet it felt good too. His lips were soft, kind, gentle. The plushness of his involving yours and taking you to this alluring dance that was his kiss. He tasted like coffee, candy and something uniquely him. It was odd. In a good way.

You kept kissing gently and slowly, almost as if you two were scared to take even further. To make it real.

Soonyoung hands slowly rose to your thighs, squeezing gently the plushness of the skin and earning a huff from you directly into his lips. He used the moment to deepen the kiss, using your open mouth to explore it with his tongue. You hummed low when you felt his wet muscle entangle with yours, his taste now intoxicating you.

Your body instinctively move forward, searching for his. Your hands running through his soft locks to keep him close to you. Moving his own from your thighs, he slid to your waist, pulling your torso towards his and gently laying you both on the sofa, with you on top of him.

The kissing kept going and going until you both were left nothing but panting messes with lips red and puffy from the friction. Just like Jihoon did, as soon as your lips left each other, his were connected to your neck, leaving feather-light kisses, making you shiver in anticipation. His touch was careful, trying not to overwhelm you, even though he was using all his self control to not bend you in half and fuck you in that couch. Your sweet little noises and whines spurring him.

"How about we go to my room, hm?" you nodded through half lidded eyes and got yourself up, suddenly feeling shy about the situation. Hoshi held your hand and guided you to the room you've been countless times before. Yet this time it was completely different and you could feel the blood pumping in your ears.

The boy sat in the bed, back resting against the headboard. He gently guided you to straddle his hips and comfortably sit on top of his already growing hard on.

He put a stray piece of hair behind your ear and joined your foreheads. "I'll say what you said to me earlier: you don't have to do anything you don't wanna do, 'Kay?" You nodded and kept staring at his eyes, that always so soft, were now dark and dilated. "What do you want to do? Because I can see that you know how to kiss pretty well" you lightly punched his shoulder, making you both chuckle and ease the tension.

"I… I think I want to learn how to, you know, give… pleasure" the last word came as a whisper, your head hanging low in shame for asking this to your best friend.

He hooked a finger under your chin to make you look at him again "are you sure? I can teach you if you really want, but only if you really want, you don't have to give head to all the guys that you have sex with and they can't force you to do that" you nodded slowly, the way he talked to you about it making your stomach twitch with something unknown. "I need a verbal sign that you want me to teach you that, use your words, princess" the nickname went straight to your core and you held a gasp from leaving your lips.

"I do. I want to learn how to give a blowjob" Hoshi left a noise akin to a growl, his eyes almost rolling into his skull. Hearing you all so innocently saying those filthy words did something to him.

He caressed your hair before crashing your lips together again. This time the kiss was fiercer, stronger, needier. His finger dug into the flesh of your waist and started to rub you against his clothed erection eliciting a low moan from you into his mouth. You held yourself in his shoulder as you kept kissing and grinding, the wet patch in your panties only growing uncomfortably. And the press of his dick growing more and more against your core.

After what felt like forever but not enough, your best friend detached from your lips and made you stop the grinding. "Are you ready?" you nodded, eyes hooded with pleasure and ready to do anything he asked for. "Good, now I want you to lower yourself until you're face to face with my bulge" you did as you were told, slowly crawling downwards until you were facing his clothed member.

Before he could give any instructions, you started to rub your hand against the fabric of the sweatpants, earning a low groan from him. The sound only spur you into rub him harder, the fabric grinding against his impossibly hard dick and making him throw his head back and put one of his hands on your hair, gentle, just a weight to remind you of his presence.

You slowly started to play with the strings of the pants before opening it and starting to pull it down. He raised his hips so you could free him from his confines. And so you did. You pulled his sweats and underwear together, his member jumping the moment it left the insides of the clothes, earning a low gasp from you.

You finished taking his pants and underwear from him and went back to your position. You knew Hoshi was big, you saw when you were on the beach together or when he'd walk around the house with just sweatpants and no underwear. But seeing it in front of you, fully erect, angry red and leaking precum was totally different. He was big in every sense of the word, not only he was long, but also girthy, curving slightly upwards, the veins you would see in his arms whenever he trained or danced could be seen all over his shaft as well.

Your mind started racing. At the same time you felt your mouth water and your cunt clench into nothing, you started to panic of how it would enter you. Would it fit?

Sensing your nerves, Soonyoung pulled you up back to him and kissed you, melting you against his lips again. "You don't have to do it"

"I know. I do. It's just…" you looked down at his dick and back at him, your cheeks burning even more than your body. "It's so big" he chuckled and caressed your hair and cheek, kissing the tip of your nose.

"We'll go slow and gentle, okay? No need to worry" you nodded and bit your lower lip. "Besides, we don't have to do it all today, we don't have to do it all at all. Today, this," he motioned between you and him, "it's all about you, okay?" you nodded and smiled, closing your eyes as you enjoyed his gentle caress on your cheek, leaning into his palm.

"Thank you, Soonyoung, for doing this for me" he smiled and shook his head.

"I know you would do the same for me"

After a while of just being like that, you finally took a deep breath and lowered yourself again, this time with regained confidence. To say you weren't salivating for his dick was a lie, because you were. You wanted to know how it tasted, how it felt inside your mouth.

Gently you grabbed the member into your hand, giving a gentle squeeze to the base and eliciting a moan from Hoshi.

"Fuck" he gasped before regaining his composure back. He was supposed to guide you. "Use your hand to masturbate it, up and down. Do you wan- Oh god!" He moaned when you spit into his shaft so you could use as a lubricant just like you saw some girls in porn do it. And from his reaction, he enjoyed. "That's right, baby, keep going like that. You can play with-oh! With the tip. Rub your thumb into the tip" you did as he said and he threw his head back, his hand fisting the sheet underneath him.

With now regained confidence, you started to move your hand up and down, stopping from time to time to rub his tip with the pad of your thumb. He was a moaning mess above you, his eyes never wanted to leave your form and how right you seem to move.

Without waiting for his instruction, you kissed his tip and he jerked his hips up in surprise. "Shit. Fuck. Yn, I'm sorry. I was caught by surprise" you giggled at his reaction, his face completely flustered and red. He looked delightful.

Without taking your eyes from him, you wrapped your lips gently around his head. The salty taste invading your taste buds, but it wasn't unpleasant. You sucked his head like a lollipop, putting pressure into your sucking motions before leaving it with a pop. Seeing Hoshi so fucked out for nothing spurred something dark inside of you. You wanted to please him, to make him moan and groan for you. You wanted to make him lose his composure and just become putty into your hands and mouth. You knew that wouldn't be possible in the first time. But a girl could dream.

Putting your tongue out, you licked the underside of his cock, his vein rubbing your muscle as you went from base to the tip before putting him back inside your mouth.

"Watch your teeth, baby" he finally managed to speak, placing a hand on your head, a gentle reminder he still was the one in control. "Go slow, little by little, you don't have to fit everything in the first try, use your hands where your mouth can't reach" you nodded and hummed and the vibration went straight to his length, earning another low groan from him and a few curses to leave his lips.

You slowly started to bob your head, careful not to rub your teeth into his sensible skin. Your tongue was flat under his dick feeling the delicious weight of him on your mouth. It was a new feeling, a little strange, but empowering somehow.

You started slow, trying your best to breath through your nose and to take as much as could of him into your mouth, hollowing your cheeks every time you pulled back up. But soon you were so caught up in the feeling and the noises he was making that you started to move faster, bobbing your head up and down with a practice that you don't know where it came from but you welcomed nonetheless. Your hands were wrapped in the base of his cock and applied pressure while accompanying the movements of your head where you couldn't reach.

The tip of his member started to hit the back of your throat and you felt your gag reflex come a little, making you cough and drool all over his dick and down your chin. Hoshi growled like an actual animal at the sight of you, all wet from your own spit mixed with his precum, eyes glassy and teary from the action. You looked heavenly.

You dived right back into sucking him with renew force and need. You were determined to make him cum in your mouth. And he wasn't so far from it. You looked so good on all fours, ass perked up as you sucked him like you needed it to breath. You started go deeper, letting his tip hit your throat repeatedly, your bach arching every time as you gagged around his girth.

"Fuck, baby, I'm close" he tried to take you away from him but you kept going. "Oh my god, yn! Fuck! I… I will" before he could even finish his sentence you gave a particularly strong squeeze on his base and a lick on his tip and he came down your throat. The salty sour white liquid landing on your tongue. He tried to tell you that you could spit it but when he saw you had swallowed it all, making him almost get hard all over again.

You lifted yourself from him, cleaning your mouth and chin with the back of your hand and looking at him expectantly. "Did I do well?" you asked, genuinely curious. You heard that it didn't take much for men to orgasm, so you could still had done a terrible job.

"Are you kidding right now?" he laugh humorously and threw his head back before coming back to caress your face and wipe some drool from your chin. "You did amazing, I almost didn't believe that this was your first time doing this" you shied, cheeks warming. "Now is my turn, baby" he smirked and lifted from his position on the headboard and took his shirt off, getting completely naked.

He pulled your face close to his again and kissed you, deep, hungry. You wondered if he could taste himself on your tongue and the idea aroused you even more. Hoshi slowly maneuvered you so you were the one laying on the bed, chest rising and falling with your uneven breath from both the kiss and anticipation. Slowly, he started to take off your own shirt, feeling your soft skin under his calloused fingers, goosebumps rising in his trail.

"You chose this one just for me, huh?" he teased as he saw you in a tiger print bra. You bought it as a joke a while ago but thought it was the perfect one for the occasion. He softly grabbed your mounds, squeezing them under his palms while he kissed your neck. His lips leaving light love bites all over the place. "As much as I loved your choice, I rather see you without it. Can I?" he asked for permission before taking your bra off as soon as you agreed. "God, you're so beautiful" he whispered to himself but you still could hear it, making your heart race even more in your ribcage.

Soonyoung lowered his kisses to your chest, slowly approaching your boobs before wrapping one of your nipples into his mouth and earning a low whine from you. The sensation was completely new. Overwhelming. Your mouth opened as nothing came out at the feeling of his hot breath on your nipple, licking, sucking, bitting. It was oh so good. You could get used to it. Your other boob was receiving a different treatment, being squeezed and pulled and pinched with fingers.

Your whines started to get louder and your legs to writhe under him searching from something. Anything. He noticed your impatience and smiled against your boob before leaving it with a pop. He started lowering himself, peppering kisses down your tummy until he reached the waistband of your pants. He looked at you searching for your confirmation and he started to open it as soon as you nodded.

Hoshi slowly pulled your pants and panties together, the cold air hitting your wet warm pussy making you hiss. You suddenly felt very aware of what was happening. You and your best friend were fully naked in front of each other. You had just sucked his dick. And he was about to do god knows what to you.

He noticed your reaction and went back to hovering over you, his eyes meeting yours with that gentleness he was holding the entire time. "Are you okay?" The boy asked, his fingers softly caressing your cheek and making you look at him. "Do you want me to stop?"

"I…" you stuttered, voice weak. "I just became too self aware of our situation" you chuckled and he smiled nodding. Hoshi planted a kiss to your forehead then on the tip of your nose, your eyes fluttered shut.

"We can stop if you want. It's up to you" you nodded at him. "You wanna stop?"

"No, I trust you, Soonie" he smiled at you and nodded, his heart squeezing on his chest at the way you looked at him with uttermost trust and something he couldn't name.

"Tell me to stop if I do something you don't like, ok?" You nodded.

The boy kissed you again, all your worries vanishing into his tongue as it tangled with yours, tasting his reverence to you.

He started to lower himself again until he was in front of your mound. He slowly opened your legs so he could be in between them. You sucked a sharp breath when you felt the air hit you and the sensation of being too exposed. But soon the thoughts started to leave when his plush lips started to trail light kisses inside your thighs. His teeth gently grazing the skin before leaving love bites on his way up to where you felt like you needed him the most.

The moment his warm tongue touched your vulva you thrust your hips up, the sensation foreigner yet delightful. His tongue was flat against your labia making up and down movements and gathering some slick. He hummed against your core and the vibration send shiver straight to your spine.

Gently, he used the tip of his tongue to open your labia so he could taste you better, licking from your entrance to your clit. You moaned when you felt him touch your clit, back arching. It was completely different from touching yourself. He noticed how you were responding to his ministrations and decided to give extra attention to your clit, licking it in circle motions before sucking the nub.

In a natural reaction, you flew one of your hands to his head and grabbed a fist out of his hair and brought him closer to your core. He smiled at it. Cute.

He kept the attack on your button before detaching himself - much to your dismay - so he could speak to you. "I'm going to put a finger inside, ok?" You nodded eagerly, mind clouded with pleasure already. You'd take anything he'd give to you. "It can sting a little but we need to stretch you little by little. Tell me if it hurts, ok?" You nodded again, mouth agape and eyes cloudy.

Hoshi went back to give attention to your clit. His mouth wrapping around it and sucking so he could arouse you even more. You felt the tip of his finger rub at your folds to collect your wetness before nudge at your entrance.

His middle finger slid slowly inside of you, easier than you expected. The sensation was weird but in a good overwhelming way. Without taking his eyes out of you, and paying attention to every single one of your reactions, Hoshi started to move his finger in and out of you. A loud moan left your lips and you quickly covered your mouth ashamed of how high it came out.

The boy smiled against your core and kept his assault, fucking you with his single digit while his mouth worked on your clit.

Your mind was clouded and hazy, and all you could think of was the pleasure that your best friend was providing you. Whines, moans and strings of his name left your lungs while he held you in place on the bed. You could feel your legs shaking, trembling, with pleasure.

"Do you think you can handle a second finger, Princess?" you barely registered what he said, you just nodded. "Are you sure? It may hurt a little" he asked while still pumping in and out of you at a torturous pace.

"Soonie~" you moaned, "please" you're not sure of what you were asking for but it was all you could muster in your state.

"Fuck yn, you look so cute begging" he bit his lower lip while savoring the image beneath him. He would never imagine that he would be the one to make you look like that. That you looked like that. But he wasn't complaining. Far from that.

He took his finger out of your pussy before joining with his index finger and slowly started to ease into your entrance. You whined loudly and tried to close your legs around his face and hands but he kept you open for him. Soonyoung went back to stimulating your clit with his mouth so you would relax your muscles.

"Sh… it's ok, I know I know" he cooed when he heard your little pained whines. "Want me to stop?" You shook your head no. It hurt, yes, but at the same time it was a pleasurable pain. And you trusted Soonyoung, you knew he wouldn't hurt you.

He started to draw figure eights with the tip of the thumb of his other hand while he slowly eased his digits inside your tight walls. Your eyes were closed and head thrown back into the pillows, back arched up.

A loud guttural almost pornographic moan left you when he pushed his fingers knuckles deep inside of you. "That's it. You did great, such a good girl" the praise made your walls squeeze his fingers and he smirk. "Oh someone likes being praised, doesn't she?" you didn't answer, you couldn't trust your voice at the moment.

The boy started moving his fingers slowly, testing the waters, the thrusts shallow and slow. The digits curling inside of you at every drag and making you see stars. If just his fingers felt like this, how would his penis feel? The thought made you squeeze his fingers in again.

He started to take more of them out before putting back in, picking pace when he noticed how your moans changed and your body started to search for his fingers. Soon enough he was fingering you fast, his digits greedily being sucked in by your count just to be taken out.

His mouth went back to your clit and that's when you felt it. A squeeze in the pit of your belly, something feeling like it was pressing against you and trying to rip. Your moans became more desperate and by the way your walls were trying to hold Hoshi's fingers in he knew you were close.

"You wanna cum, baby? Are you close?" you just nodded, that's all you could do for the past minutes he's been between your legs. "Go on, let it go, you deserve it, you did so well for me" he praised before diving back to your nub to give a final suck that led you to your orgasm.

You're pretty sure you screamed. Legs trembling against his ears and gummy walls squeezing impossibly tight his fingers while he slurped away every drop of your orgasm. He kept fucking you even after you rode down, overstimulation starting to seep into your body.

"Ho-hoshi" you whined before pushing him away from you.

He was a sight to behold: eyes hooded and glassy from lust, nose, mouth and chin completely drenched in your juices while he held the most satisfied grin on his face.

"Sorry baby, you just tasted so good" you hid your face behind shaking hands.

"Don't say things like that" you whispered and he chuckled.

He moved his body up back to hover you and took your palms away from your face. "Don't hide from me now, we're far from that at this point" he was right but it didn't change the fact that you still felt shy about it all.

He leaned down to kiss your lips again and you could taste your lingering taste on his tongue. Sweet and sour. As you kept kissing, and your heart rate started to go back to normal, you felt his member poke your belly. You broke the kiss to look down at his already hard again cock.

Noticing where your eyes were he tilted your chin to look back at him "don't worry about it, I'll take care of that"

"Can… can we?" You cut yourself, too shy to actually say it and he thought it was absolute endearing.

"We don't have to do anything, we already went pretty far today" he assured, kissing your forehead with a smile.

"I know but" you looked at his hard member before looking back at him again, eyes dark and glossy, pleading, "but I want to. I asked you to help me with sex and we still haven't had sex" he chuckled at your pouty lips. You were danger. He never imagined seeing this side of you. But he wasn't the one complaining.

"Sex it's not just penetration" he mused, his fingers gently playing with your sweaty hair and putting it behind your ear. "Sex it's about intimacy, about two, sometimes more, people exploring their sexuality and what makes them feel good. It's the before, during and after" you nodded, eyes focused on him. "Besides, how would people without dicks have sex if sex was just penetration?" You two chuckled and he pecked your smiling lips.

"But still, I want to, I want the full experience" you played with the hairs at the nape of his neck where your hands were wrapped. "I trust you, Soonie, I want you to fuck me" the boy groaned at your words, he was discovering a new side of you that he wasn't sure if he could forget so easily. But that was a problem for later.

Hoshi momentarily left his place on top of you to grab a little metallic package on the bedside table. He ripped it open and expertly rolled the condom down his shaft and pumped it a few times before going back to his place on top of you.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" He asked one last time, cock painfully throbbing between both of your legs.

"Yes, I'm sure" you lifted your torso so you could meet his lips once again.

He deepened the kiss and you felt his member rubbing up and down your core, making you whine against his mouth and thrust your hips searching for more friction.

"I'll go slow and gentle, ok? Tell me if it hurts and need me to stop" you nodded and bit your lower lips waiting for the sting to come.

Soonyoung lined his tip with your entrance and very slowly started to push inside. You opened your mouth and grabbed his arms, nails digging into his soft skin. The feeling was completely different from his fingers. He moved one of his hands between your folds to rub your clit to help subdue the pain and turn into pleasure as he eased his tip in.

It was painful, overwhelming and pleasuring all at once. Your head and body were a mess of feelings and sensations. The feeling of your best friend rubbing your clit deliciously in contrast with the overwhelming sensation of being ripped open by his cock was fogging your brain and making your eyes roll back.

"Hey! Hey! It's alright, princess" he shushed you seeing how you were reacting to it all. He peppered kisses all over your face while whispering comforting words for you. "I'm just the tip in. Do you want me to stop? Does it hurt?" You shook your head. "I know it must be hard but I need your words now, baby, how are you feeling?"

You whined and took a deep breath. "D-don't stop…" you managed to say in almost a whispered whine. "Feels weird but good" Hoshi nodded and caressed your face before kissing your lips again, earning a low moan from you.

"I'll try to go again, ok?" You nodded and finally managed to look at him and he had to hold himself to not bury it all in one go, your eyes completely gone, dark, glassy and teary, half lided with pleasure as you looked at him with the upmost trust and borderline reverence. "Fuck, you look so hot right now, yn" he confessed and you managed to chuckle. "Remember to tell me to stop if anything, ok?" You nodded again.

Soonyoung took a deep breath before he started to slowly push more of himself inside of you, meeting a little resistance from your tight walls. He went back to stimulating you clit to help ease the pain.

You bit your lip so hard that you could feel the tangy taste of your blood. Your nails digging hard into the hard muscles of his arms. Toes curling and legs' muscles tensing beside his own legs as you allowed him to enter you fully.

Soonyoung let an almost animalist growl out of his mouth the moment he bottomed out inside of you. He was doing his best to not nut on the spot from how tight your walls were hugging him, pulsating around his painfully hard dick.

You let your body fall down the mattress and relax a little, you didn't even realize how hard you were holding yourself onto him until you let yourself go. You felt the beat of your heart match with the throbbing of your core around his shaft and you chuckled to yourself.

The sensation of having something, him, inside of you felt weirdly good. It was something that you could see yourself get used to with time and practice. You could feel the warmth and pulsing of his member inside of you and that made your chest fill with pride, he was like that because of you.

Hoshi allowed you to get used to the feeling of being completely full, playing with your clit slowly and monitoring your facial expressions and reactions. He felt your pelvis started to move against him after a while, searching for more. Aching for more.

"Hoshi~" you moaned softly, voice whinny and almost desperate.

"What is it, sweetie? You want me to move?" You nodded eagerly, eyes wide and teary looking at him, lips pouty as if he was torturing you. He chuckled at your antics and pecked your pout. "I'll move, ok? Tell me if anything hurts" you nodded eagerly.

He slowly slid a little from you before coming back in equally slow. You gaped your mouth in a silent gasp at the sensation and fisted the sheets underneath you. The boy made the same movements a few more times, slow and shallow, to make you get used to the feeling. When you started to make pleased noises and your brows furrow, he tested to take more out, leaving just the tip in, before slowly putting it all back in.

You moaned at the feeling, back arching towards his chest and eyes basically rolling out of your skull. A faint of a curse leaving your lips. Your best friend smiled before starting repeating the movement over and over again. The tip of his cock hitting a spot that you only ever heard of.

You were a moaning mess underneath him. Your hands, once fisted against the sheets, were now running his back, leaving red marks wherever they passed by. Hoshi was sure you were drawing blood out of him but he couldn't care less, not when you were leaving the cutest of moans against his ear.

"Soonie~ more! Please!" You begged for something, anything. His cute little nickname sounding like a fuel to him as he started to fuck you harder.

You wrapped your legs around his waist and almost wrapped yourself around him as he fucked into you in a pace that made you see starts printed into your eyelids. All you could do was moan and scream his name against him as he moaned with you. He was sure he'd get noise complaints but fuck it! It was worth it.

"Ho- I" you tried to say something but the coil in your stomach was starting to tighten at a rapid pace once again.

"I can feel that you're close, baby" he moaned at your ear, his hot breath sending shivers down your spine. "Give one more, can ya? One more before I cum too" you nodded against his shoulder.

The boy kept his movements, determined to make you come before him. With a little difficulty due to how glued your bodies were, he managed to snake his hand between you two and add stimulus to your clit too, earning a loud moan from you.

A few more thrusts and circles from his fingers, you came undone around him, even stronger than the first time, your body convulsing against him as your toes curled. You let your body fall against the mattress again as he kept his movements going.

"Just a little-fuck! More" he moaned on top of you and you nodded.

He felt your oversensitive walls flutter around him and a few thrusts more he came undone inside the condom.

Soonyoung wasn't sure when was the last time he came like that, so hard, so much, but he was certain that was the most intense orgasm he had in a while, perhaps in his life.

He slowly caught his breath again, watching you as you watched him with those intense eyes of yours. He smiled fondly at you, putting away from your face stray pieces of soaked hair and kissed your forehead.

The man slowly removed himself from you, that hissed both from sensitivity and emptiness. With still wobbly legs, he discarded the used condom in his en suite bathroom and grabbed a wet cloth to clean you.

He slowly and gently rubbed the soft fabric between your legs, cleaning the excess wetness remaining there. Your body welcomed the cold feeling against the burning skin there. He discarded the cloth somewhere in the bathroom before coming back.

Your chest was still heaving and you looked absolutely divine glistening with post sex sweat under his warm light. "Do you want to take a bath? Take the sweat out of your body and relax your muscles?" Hoshi asked gently, his naked body standing next to the bed as you both looked at each other, now at a new light.

You nodded with a smile, which he reciprocated before going to the bathroom to run the bath. You faced his ceiling as your heart hammered inside your ribs, both from all the intense action and from this strange feeling in your gut that you didn't dare name it.

The realization of what you two just did hit you like a truck. You just had sex. You and your best friend of a lifetime. He helped you lose your virginity. Because you asked to. Did you regret? No, not at all. You loved every single second of it and you couldn't think of someone better than Soonyoung to do that. But what would it be now? You promised not to let it change anything but could you?

Before you went spiraling further into your own head, the man came back from the bathroom and helped you get on your feet. You insisted you could stand on your own but you underestimated how weak your legs would feel, making you two laugh at you almost falling. "It's all your fault" you mockingly fought with him, hitting his shoulder next to you. "Like you didn't enjoy" he replied smugly. Yeah, you did enjoy.

He helped you to move to the bathroom and enter the bathtub, the warmth of the water and the bubbles of the bath bombs and salts soothing your aching body. You let a satisfied sigh as soon as your body was fully submerged under the sea of bubbles. Hoshi entering behind you and pulling you to lay on his chest.

The scene felt domestic, like it was something you two were already used to doing together. The limbs tangled together as your breathings matched their pace, heartbeats syncing without noticing. It was all so natural for you. Something you could get used to.

"How are you feeling?" Soonyoung was the first to break the silence, his voice a little hoarse from all the moans and talking you through it.

One of his hands was rubbing your arm up until it reached your shoulder and then he would go down again. The other held your torso closer to him, hand splayed on your belly. Your back was flush against his chest, head thrown back into his shoulder, eyes closed and enjoying his proximity. One of your hands was caressing his thigh that was tangled to yours and the other held the one that was on your stomach.

You hummed at him with a smile. "I'm feeling light and heavy all at once" you chuckled and he nodded, leaving a kiss at your temple. "It's a weird sensation down there but not bad I guess"

"You'll eventually get used to it, the more you have sex, more your body get used to the sensations. Over time you'll even learn more things that you may like or not" he explained with care, his voice soothing against your ear. A known calmness and grounding you got used to.

"Like what?" You asked genuinely curious, now both hands playing with the one in your stomach.

"Like if you like fast, slow, shallow, deep, soft or rough, vanilla or do you have any kinks" you nodded thinking about the possibilities to explore and what he might like. "I know Jihoon likes taking his time with his partners and he is more of a traditional guy with a hint of roughness" he left a humorous laugh and you chuckled.

Jihoon, the reason all of this happened. For some odd reason you were feeling guilty, like you betrayed the boy. It's not like you had anything. But he liked you. And so did you. Right?

"And what do you like?" You asked before you could stop yourself, cheeks burning out of shame as if you two haven't just had sex minutes ago.

He thought for a while. "It depends on the person I'm with and my mood really" he answered, his hand that was on your arm now playing with your hair. "I might go rough with someone and vanilla with next, enjoy a certain kink with another, I'm up to experiment as long as me and my partner are comfortable with" you nodded.

A comfortable silence fell upon you two again. The hum of the city under the building being the only sound until he spoke again.

"Did you enjoy it?" You turned to look at him. "The sex, I mean. Your first time" he brushed the back of his neck a little bit expectantly of your answer.

You nodded with a smile "I couldn't have wished anything better, Soonie. It was perfect" he blushed hard as he smiled, his eyes crinkling and closing with the act. "You took such good care of me and always made sure that I was enjoying it and I was having fun and being pleasured. I know that not anyone would do that, so thank you" you kissed his cheek, the warmth of his skin radiating through your lips.

"I'm glad to hear that, Princess, for real, you were my number one priority tonight" he hugged you and you two enjoyed the bath a bit longer until the water ran cold.

There was something comforting on him. Sure, he was your best friend. Sure, you shared intimacies before and talked about these type of things before. You had cuddled, hugged and kissed each other's cheeks and temples and foreheads before. But now it felt different. There was a new level, a new layer of intimacy added to it. Something new that you couldn't name it yet. But it was there, looming in the air.

After drying yourselves, you put on some of his t shirts and a pair of his underwear so you could be comfortable not to lay in damp panties and jeans. He put on the same thing and laid by your side in bed, pulling you into his chest.

The warmth of his body and the tiredness were starting to settle into your body and lure you to sleep. You hugged his torso tighter unconsciously, as if you were afraid of him to let you go.

He chuckled and kissed the crown of your head. "Good night, princess"

Even in your half asleep state you smiled and answered "good night, Soonie"

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