you had your suspicions for a few weeks now. you had felt oddly tired, even after days of doing practically nothing, and when your usual regular-as-clockwork period was showing no signs 3 days after you were due, you decided you couldn’t wait another week for christian to return home.

the timer on your phone made you jump and you tried to steady your out of control breathing, retrieving your phone from the side and stopping the alarm.

decided it was probably best to stay seated, you closed your eyes as you retrieved the stick from resting on the sink.

you took in one deep breath, it coming out shaky. you could do this, you told yourself. whatever happened, everything would be fine.

you tried to brace yourself for whatever your fate would be, slowly opening one eye.

clear as day, those 2 little pink lines were there.

positive.

your breath trembled and your vision blurred slightly as the reality settled in.

you were pregnant.

adrenaline surged through you. this was the final step in the fairytale you’d always dreamed about as a little girl. a baby. yours and christian’s baby.

it was only when you begun to think about telling christian that the anxiety crept in. you’d only been married a few months. children had always been part of your and your husband's plans, but they were always conversations thrown around lightly with smiles as you chatted about your future together. you hadn’t actually sat down and decided now was the time.

the next week was absolute torture, your mind going through so many different scenarios of how you were going to tell christian.

each night, laying alone in your shared king-sized bed, you replayed different scenarios in your head of how you’d tell him. sometimes he laughed and cried and spun you around, sometimes he looked overwhelmed and unsure.

when panic bubbled up, you forced yourself to remember how broody he got around his niece. how he melted when teammates brought their babies to training. that steadied you.

christian was none the wiser. one night whilst on facetime, you'd cut the call short to go throw up, but luckily you just managed to pass it off as having a particularly bad period. he bought it, but you hated lying - even if it was temporary.

after what felt like the longest week ever, it was finally the day. you were always emotional being reunited when christian had been away. whether it was for football, or if he had just managed to sneak in a trip to see his family and friends that you couldn’t make. you were always so excited when you tracked his plane and saw he had landed.

this time was different to the others, though. you were so excited but also terrified to tell him. you hoped he wouldn’t be mad at you for taking the test by yourself, but more importantly, you hoped the doubt niggling at the back of your head was going to be distinguished as soon as you broke the news.

you felt a weird mixture of stress and excitement as you heard christian open the door. you were off the sofa before he even had time to drop his bags, practically launching yourself at him. he stumbled slightly, laughing as his hands automatically caught you, one sliding to your hip to steady you.

you tightly wrapped your arms and legs around his body. he moved his hand to your bum to hold you steady, and you breathed a sigh of relief at low chuckle that left him. he smelt like home, and you felt safe again. like everything was going to be okay.

once you had helped christian to unpack his bags and made the pair of you some dinner, you were relaxing on the sofa, mind going crazy with how you were going to tell him when he interrupted your thoughts.

“baby, i’ve never seen the place look so tidy.” he chuckled.

“i wanted to keep myself busy, keep my mind off things.” you shrugged.

“keep your mind off what?”

your heart dropped.

“oh, er, off being on my own, you not being here.” you managed to mumble out quickly hoping the pretty pathetic excuse would be sufficient.

“okay, are you going to tell me what’s going on?” christian asked, his dark eyes looking on at you with concern.

“what do you mean?” you laughed nervously. “nothing’s going on, babe.”

“there’s definitely something suspicious going on here.” christian furrowed his brows. “you haven’t tried to make me cookies again, have you?”

you rolled your eyes at the memory of christian returning home from last year’s pre season to find you at the kitchen worktop, clothes doused in flour and what he could only assume were supposed to be biscuits which were completely cremated on the worktop infront of you.

“no.” you fake pouted. “i know better than to try and surprise my husband with any nice treats when he returns home now.” you stuck out your bottom lip, sulking at the memory.

christian chuckled. “baby, you know i appreciated it but it’s just not worth the risk of you burning down the entire house.”

your cheeks warmed slightly and you chuckled out, leaning your head back down to rest on his shoulder.

you felt his lips graze your head with a gentle peck and you felt your tummy flutter.

“so what’s up then, sweetheart?” he wasn't giving up, his tone was serious now and you felt your throat close up as you tried to swallow.

you stayed still, your head resting on his chest and listening to his steady heartbeat, a stark difference to yours that felt like it was going to explode out of your chest at any moment.

“nothing, just missed you lots.” you nuzzled your head into his chest and he gripped his arms tighter around your frame, his thumb gently caressing the skin of your arm.

“missed you too, baby.” he planted a soft kiss to your head. “you know how much i hate leaving you. never want to leave you ever again.”

your stomach bubbled with love. you were finally back in the love of your life’s arms, where you felt the most safe and secure, and you couldn’t help but think everything was going to be alright.

“mom says you better come next time, i think her and my sister missed teaming up on me and my dad.”

you grinned knowing his family had missed you. “how is your dad? did you do much for father’s day?”

christian shrugged. “we were going to go to that restaurant we like but it was closed for some refurbishments or something.” christian shrugged. “besides, he’s going to be here next month for italian father’s day so i figured we could do something when he’s here.”

you smiled knowing christian’s family would be visiting soon, your heart jumping in your chest as you thought about telling his family your news.

but first you needed to pluck up the courage to tell him.

your teeth pursed your bottom lip, tugging so hard you could almost taste blood as you kept your head resting on christian’s shoulder, facing the tv in front of you playing some series that neither of you had been paying any attention to.

“do you think you’ll celebrate usa or italian father's day?" you asked carefully. "you know, if we’re lucky enough to be blessed with a child or two whilst we’re still here?”

nerves pooled at your tummy as silence filled the room as christian thought about his answer. he shifted slightly, studying you. “i haven’t really thought about it, the one wherever we're living i guess?” christian asked himself, turning to face you and noticing how you were completely still as your gaze stayed looking ahead.

christian’s heart thudded in his chest, a giddy feeling exploding inside of him. surely he had got the wrong idea. that couldn’t have been why you were asking.

“wh-why did you ask that, baby?”

his voice was hopeful and you could feel the emotion in it, as though he was trying to not get his hopes up and it filled you with the confidence you needed as you turned to face him. you weren’t sure if it was just the lighting of the room mixed with the tv glare but you could’ve sworn his eyes were glistening.

“because that might be something you need to think about next year.” you finally came out with it and your heart swam as you saw the emotions play out on your husbands face. his lashes fluttered as he blinked a few times, his pink lips parting open as the shock subsided and the news set in. you were pregnant.

“baby… baby, you-you’re, you’re pregnant?” he asked, hopefullness evident in his voice and all the silly nerves you had been experienced were suddenly vanished.

he slid off the sofa onto his knees in front of you, hands trembling as they rested gently on your waist. his gaze dropped to your stomach like it already held his entire universe. he looked up from between your legs with the biggest look of adoration you swore you’d ever see.

his eyes dropped to your tummy once again where they became fixated, his hands coming to hold your body. “i… got you pregnant. you’re pregnant with my baby. we're having a baby.” he stumbled his words, as though he could not believe it was the truth.

“well i at least hope it’s yours.” you stuck out your bottom lip and christian gave you an unamused look.

“is now really the time for sarcasm?” he asked and you giggled.

“that’s what you get for leaving me on my own for so long” you sulked and christian playfully rolled his eyes before brushing his lips to the bare skin that was showing from your crop top before pulling away.

he looked so infatuated with your tummy it made you giggle softly.

“you know there’s nothing there yet, silly.” you laughed. “well, nothing really.”

you weren't far along at all, and there was nothing to show that you were pregnant, but christian’s mind went crazy knowing this was the beginning of it all.

“i'll be there for everything,” he said quickly, almost breathless. “i’ll tie your shoes, rub your feet, get you whatever you crave - even if it’s at three in the morning.”

you grinned, laughing as you thought back to how nervous you had been to tell him.

“well i look forward to taking full advantage of knowing i have you at my beck and call."

christian grinned up to you. “anything you want, baby. anything you want.”

and as you looked down at your husband, still kneeling in front of you, eyes glassy, hands resting gently against your waist like you were something precious, you realised you’d never seen him look so full of love. not when you’d walked down the aisle. not when he’d first said I love you. this was different.