RhubarbCandyTea wants to be quite skinny

If I can see the change

And I can see the numbers drop

And I can feel my pants fall down

And I can feel my energy fade away

Why do I still go bavck to eating?

TW - health anxiety triggers, read with caution

Develope severe health anxiety that follows you around 24/7! The newest feature - fear of cancer! What is one of the most common symptoms of any form of cancer? You guessed it, weight loss! So get sick on a vacation, lose 5 kg of wait in a week due to loss of apetite, be happy about it, and a week later have daily mental breakdowns about your quick weigh loss, thinking it might be cancer!

Package includes:

relapsing into different kinds of eating disorders

severe anxiety

fear of loosing weight (if your fear of gaining weight was not enough)

Try it today, and you'll be as miserable as I am!

He made me eat multiple meals a day when I was sick so that I can get better faster. He made me extremely small portions, and he indivisually patted the fat off ot potatoes and bacon so I feel better about eating it. He is a gem.

So I've been eating actual meals and I didn't gain any weight, so i was like maybe I can do this? Maybe I can eat food and excercise and lose some weight like that?

So I started making some meals for myself and it's difficult, and I get the guilt but I've been dpign good for a week or so.

And today we went out to eat some fried chicken, and they give you 3, and I ate 1 and a half, and most of the fries on my plate. He was like wow, you've eaten much more than I thought you would!

Oh no. I ate too much he even think I ate too much.

"Oh wow, you ate a LOT of fries! Look at the amount I have left"

okay I'm done for

I know he doesn't know how bad it is for me, and he doesn't know the effects of this but I guess we are cutting back food again guys :,)))

I gave my leftovers to him.

I just started crying over boiled eggs they are like my safest food

and I have nothing else at home, just some tomatoes, rice cakes, no sugar yoghurt and eggs

that's all I own

3 eggs

and I tried boiling two and they cracked so they are ruined and I can still eat them but they are ruined and this was my only meal for the day and now it's not perfect and I just wanted to eat I'm so hungry I'm so so so hungry

Me, hungry: you know what? This whole ed thing kinda bullshit imma just go eat normally

*goes and eats normally*

Me: "see? that was pretty cool, I can eat without guilt!"

Let us thank the people who have inverted smartbands that track calories burnt and steps taken, amen🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

But starving *for* attention is oh so different.

When you starve so that your parents yell at you to eat, and for your friends to be impressed by how little you eat. For your partner to worry, for your loved ones to beg you to eat. To be fragile, and people be worried about you.

That's a different type of attention seeking, and it is not invalid ED.

Lunch - scrambled eggs (150) on butter (22) and onions (14), with ham (12), tomatoes (16), and crispbread (33). Coffee with oatmilk (50) and a bit of sugar (16) - 313

Energy drink - 115 (holy shit, accidentally bought the one with sugar in it, jesus)

coffee with soy milk - 66

Dinner- protein puding - 152

Snakkkkk: Apple - 48

Total: 694 - the energy drink made it go over my limit >:((( Burned: (smartwatch told me so) - 278

Net total: 416

Okay, I'm getting back to this.

Breakfast: apple (48), low cal yoghurt (53), coffee with oatmilk (50) and a tintsy bit of sugar (16) - 167kcal

Coffee with sugar (24) and oatmilk (50) - 74kcal

Lunch: tomatoes (21), ham (23.4), crispbreads (92), boiled eggs (155) - 291 kcal

This was a total of 532, and I would have stopped there but my boyfriend decided to go drinking, and after that we ate, and it's so suspicious to turn down food after a whole day of not eating AND drinking so I had to eat some. I don't know exactly, but approx. there was 475 cals in the food and 180 in the beer I had. Extra 650 kcals :,)

Total: 1182 Burned (smartband told me so): 114, but I didn't wear it the whole day NET total: 1068

Heyo

Do you guys have any app recomendations for ed in general? I'm interested in intermittent fasting (like timers, reminders ect), low cal recipes, calorie tracking, workouts that I can do fairly silently (I live in a shared house), literally anything that you think helps.

Minors do not interact, this is for my 18+ people

Hey guys, a quick question to sexually active 4n4 mates.

I'm afraid to to very low cal restriction because of my period going away and me not knowing if I'm pregnant or not. So my question is, does any of you take birth control? If yes, do yo ustill get your period the same with very heavy restriction? And is the weight gain from the birthcontrol significant?

So for a week I ate like a normal person. I ate white bread with jam for breakfast, I cooked curry for lunch, I ate a bowl of ramen for dinner, and I had some snacks, I didn't smoke. For a whole week, without feeling guilty at all.

And then I stepped on the scale, my weight obviously didn't change because I kept up a healthy amount of food, I started feeling fat again, every skinny girl on tiktok triggered something in me and here I am again. Resrticting.

A couple months ago, when I started this whole restricted business, it was so fine. I didn't struggle that much, I lost 5-6 kilogramms.

And then those months passed, i moved away, I started having porblems, restricting is harder, I binge all the time. I'm a university student so we drink a lot, calories everywhere. I gained 7 kg back, that puts me 1-2 kg above what I started with before the whole thing.