Hey It's Me

Jihoon had never been much of a romantic. He had always thought of romance as a construct made up by the entertainment industry. He didn´t think badly of it, he just doubted that the kind of romance they portray in movies and books even existed. He didn´t long for it either. He had always been a realist. Love would come, or it wouldn´t. And suddenly there were you. You were just there, like you had just started existing. And he didn´t know if it was love. He didn´t even think about the word “love”. He hadn´t even wrapped his head around the fact that he maybe, only maybe might have a teeny tiny little crush on you. He just knew that he liked you. Really liked you. Talking to you was so easy and made him feel so light, in the most perfect way possible.

At lunch Jihoon sat with Hansol, who had grown a bit annoyed with him being zoned out. “Dude. What´s going on? I´m bored. Talk to me.” “I´m sorry.” Jihoon grumbled not even looking up from his plate to look at his friend. “Didn´t the date go well yesterday?” Only now Jihoon´s eyes met Hansol´s. “No. It went perfect.” “So?” “What so?” “Why aren´t you super happy?” Jihoon let out a small sigh. “I am. I´m just confused.” “What? How can you be confused about a perfect date?” “I´ve only known her for a few days and I think I already like her. It doesn´t make sense.” Hansol let out a hearty laugh. “Hey, it does make sense. It makes a lot of sense actually…you know when I met Jo I knew she would annoy the shit out of me. And holy shit she does, I swear if she talks one more time about that superhero guy with that metal arm…Beefy Barnett or whatever he´s called…I´ll have to kill her.” Anyone would´ve been able to read the loving smile that had formed on Hansol´s face, as much as he pretended to be annoyed by Jo he just couldn´t hide his fondness. “Anyways the point I was trying to make is that I knew she would be a pain in the ass but I also knew I liked her. I´m not saying it´s always like that or it has to be like that but I´m saying that yes it does make sense.” “Bucky Barnes.” Jihoon grinned. “What?” “That superhero guy. His name is Bucky Barnes.” “Oh my god. Not you too.”

It had been nice seeing Jihoon in the morning, even if it had only been for about 2.5 seconds. And even if you probably wouldn’t have liked to admit it, those 2.5 seconds were the only reason you had survived your morning classes. And that really says something because you even skipped art history which you admittedly did feel sort of bad about. The professor was always so disappointed seeing only so few students sitting in her class. That´s why you normally tried not to miss her classes but you just haven´t been able to get yourself to move out of bed this early today.  

You were on your way to the cafeteria when you realized it was Tuesday, which meant Jo didn´t have classes today. You groaned, knowing you would probably have to eat your lunch alone. You didn´t like eating alone in public. The exposedness of the situation, the feeling of being watched, yeah you could definitely pass on that one.

Jihoon´s eyes lit up when he saw you. You were standing next to the door that led to the cafeteria, the very same door he was about to walk through. As you looked down at your feet while letting some other students pass in front of him, he realized you hadn´t noticed him yet. “Hi.” He smiled. You looked up and for a tiny moment Jihoon thought he had seen your eyes sparkle when you recognized it was him. “Hi.” “You come here often?” Jihoon asked, his voice comically serious. “Oh my god,” you sighed. “That was really bad.” you weren´t able to hide the grin that had spread on your face.   “I´m sorry I´m sorry,” he held up his hands defensively, also smiling, “anyways…are you my homework?” “What?” the look of confusion on your face was priceless. “You definitely look like my homework…cause I´m not doing you when I should.” He winked. Your eyes widened at the realization of what he had just said - god you really were so innocent- and then you laughed. “That was even worse, Jihoon!” “You´re mean.” He pouted. “Also you don´t even need those bad pickup lines.” You giggled. “Oh?” he raised his eyebrows, a smug grin plastered on his face. “I don´t?” Immediately your mind wandered off to yesterday when he had buried his face in your pussy, giving you all those sickeningly sweet jolts of pleasure. “No. I don´t think you need those.” “And why is that, sweetie?” Your face had turned bright pink and you didn´t know what to answer. Why the fuck did he always have to tease you?? Your entire body had been filled with intrusive warmth and for a few seconds you were physically unable to say anything. You just felt so small under his gaze, his presence was overwhelming. “I mean…I already gave you a drawing of a hedgehog…that basically bonds us for life.” You stuttered. “Does it now?” Jihoon let out a hearty laugh “You really are so innocent aren´t you?” “I´m not innocent at all!” you tried to seem offended.   “You sure?” “Yes!” Raising his eyebrows again he responded: “Guess I´ll just have to find out huh?” When he saw you were getting flustered again he had mercy and changed the topic “No but seriously, thanks for the drawing. I know it’s simple but it‘s the most adorable thing. I love it.” “I‘m glad you like it.” You smiled softly. “Of course. Also you drawing that for me is one of the cutest things…”He didn‘t get to finish the sentence he had started because you had grabbed his jacket and had pulled him so that he was now standing in front of you, your back facing the wall. “Oh my god. I´m sorry but you have to hide me real quick.” Jihoon didn´t know what was going on but he could see the freaked out look on your face, so he leaned in closer as to shield you.  “I‘m so so sorry.” You let out a breathy giggle, still holding him by his jacket. “But behind you my art history professor just passed and I skipped her class today and I really didn´t want her to see me and I panicked and…” you let go of his jacket. “I´m sorry.”

Jihoon didn´t say anything for a moment, he was still processing what had just happened. But then a huge grin spread on his face. “You know, if you really wanted to be closer to me this bad you could´ve just asked.” “I swear it really was because of my professor.” You said trying to get yourself out of this awkward situation. Your heart was beating so so so fast. “So you don´t even wanna be close to me?” he asked and only now you realized how small the distance still was between your bodies. He was standing so close you could´ve counted all of his eyelashes. “I..that´s not what I meant.” You averted your gaze to the floor, not being able to keep looking into his eyes. “Look at me.” Surprised by his words you pulled up your view again. “You’re cute.“ Your cheeks flushed red and your mouth slightly agape you looked at him. He was smirking at you, knowing oh so well what effect he had on you. “And you’re mean.” You finally replied. He raised his eyebrows, grin still plastered on his face. “Mean? That’s not exactly what I would call a person who made me cum just yesterday.” “I…” Jihoon couldn’t help but laugh at your shocked face. “You sure you aren’t innocent, sweetie?” “I…” you buried your face in your hands “You really can’t stop teasing me, can you?” you finally muttered under your breath, voice way too quiet to sound confident. 

And then Jihoon took your face in his hand, his thumb caressing your cheek lightly. “Can you blame me? You really look so pretty when you blush.” He was smiling but his voice sounded so serious. “Haven’t we had this talk already?”, you giggled. “We most definitely have.” “Jihoon, you’re horrible.” “Y\N, you’re wonderful.” “You’re cheesy.” “You’re pretty.” “You need to stop.” You grinned. “And you need to accompany me to that party the music institute is having tomorrow.” “What’s in it for me?” You crossed your arms over your chest and acted as if you were actually thinking about saying no. “I’ll buy you a drink and you’ll get to spend some quality time with me, your local handsome music student who apparently is really good at eating pussy or so I’ve heard…” You slowly shook your head at his boldness, the smile never having left your face. “I’d absolutely love that.” You said. “I know.” He winked. “I’ll text you the details later. I’m already late to class.” “Oh my god, sorry I didn’t know you had class.” He smiled and then he leaned in and gave you a soft kiss on the cheek. “Being late for class because of a pretty girl? Totally worth it.” He smiled. “See you tomorrow!”

You hadn‘t managed to fully comprehend that you would be going to a party with Jihoon the next day, not until you got home in the afternoon and sank down onto your sofa. A smile spread itself across your face when you thought of how he had sounded so genuinely hopeful that you would say yes. You were so incredibly attracted to him, in definitely more ways than one, you hadn‘t even thought of saying no. You would‘t call yourself especially insecure or self conscious but you couldn‘t deny having some trouble realizing that this unearthly being of a man was actually attracted to you. It didn‘t make sense, he was this beautiful, funny, (too) cocky, sexy person and you were normal. But he hadn‘t been sure. He had been hopeful. So there were only two options; either he was just as captivated by you as you were by him, or he just didn‘t have a clue of how attractive he actually was (very unlikely because: cockytm).

Jihoon: hI Jihoon: *ho Jihoon: shit! lol Jihoon: Good afternoon. Jihoon: I actually wanted to message you earlier but I only got around to it now. Sorry :( So about that party tomorrow… You: Hii. Very smooth start to a conversation I must say.

He must have seen that you had already messaged back because for a second the typing... on the top of your chat turned into online.

Jihoon: I tried 😫 You: I can see. Lol Jihoon: You‘re making fun of me :( You: Maybe. Jihoon: you‘re gonna regret that. Jihoon: :) Jihoon: so anyways…about that party tomorrow… Jihoon: I can come pick you up at 7 if that‘s ok for you? You: sounds good! You: Do I have to wear something fancy? What party is this?? Jihoon: No you don‘t have to. It‘s just some annual party the music majors organize every year in honor of some famous composer. Jihoon: Don‘t ask me who the composer is. I forgot. You:  omg 😂 Jihoon: 🙄 Jihoon: So 7 is good? You: Yup.

It took you a bit of courage to send the next message.

You: Can‘t wait to see you again Jihoon: Goes both ways sweetie ;)

And then you were clinging to your phone like it was some incredibly valuable treasure (or a certain other person). You really could not wait.

Jo: Y/N!?!!?!??!??!?? Jo: You‘re coming to the party tomorrow??? Jo: Hansol told me Jihoon is taking you 🌚 You: 😳 You: He told Hansol about it… You: omg You: but yes I‘m coming…I guess you‘ll be there too. Jo: YES BITCG Jo: and of course he told Hansol about it. He‘s in love with you 😌 You: JO Jo: How was your lunch date yesterday? You: … Jo: Oh no was it bad? You: NO omg it was great Jo: oh Jo: OH 🌚 You: stop sending that emoji 😭 You: but yeah uhm we kissed and Jo: AND You: and then he kinda maybe gave me head on my kitchen table. Jo: you’re kidding You: I swear! Jo: He’s in love with you!!!!!!!! Jo: Also was it good? You: sooo good You: stop saying that I don’t even know what I’m feeling myself :( Jo: You don’t have to know yet tho. Just enjoy it. Jo: And I can’t wait to see you two together tomorrow. I bet y’all are adorable You: omg pls don’t make it weird LOL Jo: Let me rephrase that Jo: I am very looking forward to creepily stare at the two of you from across the room 🌚 You: omg

The next day you handed in your portrait assignment. You had put it in a green folder with your name neatly written on top. You were really happy with your end product and you most definitely didn’t regret having chosen Jihoon as your model. As your professor took the folder out of your hand she smiled: “You know whenever I see that folder of yours I always know it’s gonna be something good.“ “I…thank you so much. That means a lot.“ You stammered. With a friendly nod she averted her attention back to another student. And it was so weird, so utterly confusing that the first thing you thought of on your way home was how you couldn‘t wait to tell Jihoon about your encounter. How you couldn‘t wait to tell him how happy that had made you.

After having spent most of your afternoon on school work, you had forced yourself to quickly decide on an outfit you wanted to wear for tonight. You hated the idea of spending so much time just thinking about your clothes. You had chosen a skirt and a top you really liked, nothing special but you felt comfortable in it. You looked pretty but not as if you had spent much thought on how to do that (which you considered a big accomplishment). It was a few minutes before seven when you heard your phone buzz.

Jihoon: Heyy I’m outside :) You: I’ll be down in a sec!

He was standing on the sidewalk and he looked so casual so at ease, as if picking you up was something he did everyday. And fuck he looked hot. When he saw you walk out the door a puppy like smile spread across his face that broke the illusion of casualness. You couldn‘t help but reciprocate his exciting grin. Without hesitation you fell into each others arms. “Hi.“ he murmured against your hair while holding you. “Hi.“ “You know I’m really happy to see you again.“ “Goes both ways.“ You grinned which made him snicker. You slightly pulled yourself out of his embrace, you didn‘t want to wait any longer. You had been waiting the entire day to tell him. “You know I handed in my portrait assignment today.“ “And?“ he looked so excited. His eyes had actually lit up. “She hasn’t graded it yet but she said that she’s always happy seeing my folder because apparently it’s always good and I still can’t believe she actually said that.“ And then he laughed and there was no other thing to do for you other than to blush. You just stared at him in disbelief because what the hell was so funny. “I…I just…sorry but like of course she said that.“ he was still laughing “Y/N, I really don’t know much about art but even I, a fool, can see that you’re so fucking talented.“ You smiled “You really are a fool, Jihoon.“ “I compliment you and that’s your comment? I can’t believe it.“ He dramatically put his hand over his chest. “I had literally no other choice.“ You giggled. “But thank you so much.“  

As you were walking he told you of his day and how he had been writing a lot of songs lately. You were a rather introverted person, talking to someone, even being around other people could be very exhausting for you. You liked being alone, not necessarily because there were no other people around but because you didn’t need to explain yourself. It wasn’t that you thought you were so different or oh so special but you just had always felt a certain disconnect between the thoughts and feelings you wanted to express and what actually ended up coming out of your mouth…which could be exhausting. But then there were people who seemingly were able to pick up what you were trying to convey. Not just the general message of your words but all those tiny little nuances that you had always been hiding unintentionally in your language. Jihoon seemed to be one of those people.  Your conversation was not just question-answer-and saying things that were supposed to be said. It felt like you were having a monologue together. Your thoughts somehow intertwined, flowed into each other at the exact right time in the exact right places and that was just so fucking cool.

“Hey would it be ok if I held your hand?“ You giggled and turned your head to look at him. “Jihoon, you don‘t even have to ask.“ He took your slightly smaller hand into his and immediately interlaced your fingers. “I just wanted to ask because people are gonna see and they‘ll probably assume we‘re a couple and I don‘t want that to make you uncomfortable.“ You gave his hand a tight squeeze and smiled. “It won‘t.“

Jihoon had told you that they had rented the small concert hall for the party. When you got closer to the music building there were already a lot of (presumingly) students around. The doors to the hall were open and a lot of people were hanging out on the lawn in front of it. You had to stop yourself from laughing out loud when you watched a boy, who definitely wasn‘t 18 yet, throw up into a bush. It was only half past 7. “Poor kid.“ Jihoon stated without being able to hide the amusement in his voice. “You ever threw up before 8?“ you snickered. Your question was meant to be rhetorical. “I would like to exercise my right to remain silent.“ “Oh. My. God. You actually did.“ to accentuate your reaction you stopped walking and put your hands over your face. Mostly because you had a hard time hiding your laugh. You were standing at the edge of the lawn, still at a safe distance from the other party guests. “I didn‘t say anything!“ “I‘m shocked.“ “I know it‘s hard to imagine but there used to be a time where I was so nervous about talking to girls that I had to drink a lot and I mean A LOT of alcohol before doing so.“ he stated, a grin plastered on his face. “Awww Jihoon was actually scared of talking to girls.“ He let out a low chuckle and then he grabbed your hips roughly and pulled you into him. “I‘m not scared of talking to you right now though, am I?“ And holy fuck if that didn‘t make you nervous nothing else would but for some inexplicable reason you still managed to stutter out a response. “Maybe you‘re just good at hiding it.“ He looked at you, amusement still written on his face and it was so hard not to look away because his stare was so intense so intimate, you didn‘t know what to do with yourself. “God, you‘re killing me.“ You just smiled, too much in trance to say anything. His eyes wandered down to your mouth and only now were you realizing how you had been subconsciously biting your bottom lip. And fuck you were already waiting for the kiss, you swore you could already feel his lips on yours but… it didn‘t happen. Instead he pulled away slightly, leaving his hands on your hips. “You know, maybe you‘re right.“ he said and for a moment he seemed so incredibly vulnerable. “Huh?“ “Maybe, you do make me really nervous too.“ And then there was nothing left to do. Everything had stopped moving and there was nothing left to do. Nothing, except that one thing. And you really had no other choice because there was nothing. Only him and you. And then you took his face into your hands and kissed him. He returned it immediately, it was a soft, loving kiss, maybe even a bit innocent. “I‘m glad I can make you feel that way too.“ You released yourself from his grip and took a few steps backwards away from him. “Come on, let‘s join the others.“

There are several ways and techniques on how to draw attention to yourself. The classiest way, which would also have the benefit of not disturbing other people, would probably be to simply just wave in the direction of the person you wanted to get attention from. Jo however was not a classy person. “Hey! Y/N!“ Jo was literally jumping up and down while waving her arms. Hansol, who stood next to her, started to laugh and shake his head in disbelief. But one had to hand it to her, her method worked. You had immediately spotted her through the crowd. Jihoon turned his head to look at you, his voice oozing with sarcasm “I’m not sure but I think your friend might be looking for you.“ “I think you might me right.“ you giggled.

“I‘m so happy you are here!“ Jo stated before hugging you and Jihoon. “I agree. This one‘s kinda hard to deal with alone.“ Hansol said, pointing to Jo. Jo let out an overdramatic sigh and crossed her arms over her chest. “You‘re the worst.“ “I know.“ Hansol had pulled her into him and had given her a kiss on the top of her head, she scrunched up her nose in fake protest which in return had made Jihoon and you laugh. “I swear I have no clue how you deal with her on a daily basis. She is such a goblin.“ you said after having watched the scenario. “Finally someone who understands me!“ Hansol raised his arm to give you a high five, which you gladly reciprocated. “I really need some alcohol after this betrayal..“ Jo announced with a grin on her face.

You had expected to see more dancing, more drinking and more people getting fucked up but right now you were looking at a room full of students who were seemingly just chilling. Most of the chairs had been pushed to the side and a lot of people simply just sat on the floor, chatting with each other. Some students were dancing while some were standing next to the bluetooth speaker. They were probably arguing over the choice of music.  The four of you were standing next to the bar which really wasn‘t a bar. To be precise the so called bar consisted of one folding table and a lot of bottles of alcohol that were stacked on the floor. Jihoon was standing next to you, your sides had been touching the entire time. It felt good to be close to him in such a casual way even though it did make you nervous. “That’s too much orange juice!“ Jihoon tried to keep Hansol from pouring more of the juice into his cup. “Dude it‘s gonna taste like shit.“ “It‘s literally just gonna taste like alcohol.“ “Yeah! Which tastes like shit!“ “Oh my god you have the taste buds of a baby.“ “Yeah he does.“ Jo chimed in which earned her an offended look from Hansol. “Ok but Hansol is kinda right. Like alcohol really tastes awful.“ you decided to defend Hansol. “You‘re cute.“ You hadn‘t even realized yet that Jihoon‘s compliment had been meant for you when Hansol started to protest. “So when Y/N says alcohol is disgusting it‘s cute but when I do it I have the taste buds of a baby??“ “Nah you both have the taste buds of a baby but Y/N is just cuter than you.“ Jihoon grinned and grabbed you side to pull you into him. You thought you were losing your mind. The concept of Jihoon complimenting you was already a hard enough concept to grasp but now he was doing it in front of your friends? You were sure he would be the death of you sooner or later. “I‘m outraged.“ Hansol let out a laugh. He looked like he couldn‘t believe Jihoon‘s boldness either. “Aww poor baby. You‘re cute too.“ Jo had pulled Hansol‘s face down to her height to give him a kiss on the nose. “Thank you.“ he pouted.

“Hey Jihoon! Hansol!“ “Hi! I didn‘t know you were coming too, Seokmin!“ Jo greeted the taller one of the two guys who had just approached you. You didn‘t know them but you were sure you had seen them somewhere on campus before. “Me neither to be honest. But Seungkwan right here didn‘t want to go alone.“ You looked at Seokmin. He was a tall guy who, for a second had seemed somewhat serious and intimidating, but when his entire face broke into a beaming smile that illusion was quickly eliminated. He had actually turned into an overgrown puppy. After everyone had greeted each other Seokmin introduced his friend: “Seungkwan, that‘s Jo and this is…I‘m sorry I think we haven‘t met before. You‘re not a music student right?“ he was looking at you now. “No I‘m an art student. I‘m Y/N.“ “Very nice to meet you.“ the guy who was apparently named Seungkwan chimed in. At a first glance Seungkwan had appeared to be very average looking, only now as you were actually looking at him were you realizing how pretty he actually was. He looked like an actual disney prince. “Seungkwan, how have you been? Haven‘t seen you in so long.“ Jihoon had turned his head to Seungkwan. “Yeah I’ve been real busy with school but besides that I’m doing pretty well.“ The two of them fell into a casual conversation about their school work and you thought Seungkwan was mentioning something about a new project but you couldn‘t be entirely sure because your thoughts had drifted off after about 10 seconds into the conversation, which was of course no one‘s but Jihoon‘s fault. His hand was still resting on your waist as if it were the easiest, most casual, thing to do. Bystanders probably didn‘t even notice but you clearly felt his hand rest on your hip a tad bit too firmly for it to be normal. You were so so so close to him.  Your shirt had risen up just a tiny bit so his fingers were resting on your bare skin. You were already so hyperaware of his touch on your body you really thought you were losing your mind when he started to rub small circles into your side. You wanted nothing more than to be closer to him but you were already so so close and you were in public and he was literally having a conversation with someone right in front of your eyes. “Are you down for it too, Y/N?“ Seungkwan had mentioned your name. Oh no. You had no clue what he was talking about. “I‘m sorry, what did you say?“ you tried to save yourself. “We were talking about playing Seokmin‘s drinking game…“ “Yeah of course she‘s down for it.We’ll just get something to drink and then we’ll join you.“ Jihoon interrupted him. “Awesome!“ Seungkwan didn’t seem to question your lack of response. As Seungkwan was walking off to join Seokmin, Hansol and Jo for the ominous game you were about to play, Jihoon pulled you to the side. “Was I that much of a distraction to you sweetie?“ he was actually smirking. “I…“ you didn’t know what to say because fuck yes he had been that much of a distraction but you couldn’t just admit that even if you were aware that he already knew. “I didn‘t even do much.“ You were nervous again. You could feel your heart pounding in your chest and your entire body felt so hot. “You‘re just mean.“ you pouted. He let out a hearty laugh at your childish answer. “And you‘re just so innocent.“ “I‘m not.“ “You keep saying that but I just don‘t believe you, sweetie.“ He still had his hand on your hip and it felt like your skin was actually burning under his touch. You really didn‘t think you were brave enough but for some unapparent reason you managed to get your next words out of your mouth. “How can I prove it to you?“ He was surprised by your question, he had raised his eyebrows but his smirk had vanished a tiny bit. “Hey are y’all coming?“ Hansol’s voice had made both of you jump slightly. Jihoon slackened his grip on your waist and took a step back to lessen the tension between you. “We‘re on our way!“

“What even are we playing?“ you asked Jihoon as you were walking over. “If you would’ve paid attention you would know.“ he winked at you. You just rolled your eyes which made him chuckle. “It’s just some weird drinking game Seungkwan wanted to try for the longest of time. Apparently it’s a bit like truth or dare.“ “Oh, that sounds like fun.“ “It does. Maybe it‘s a chance for you to prove that you‘re not that innocent?“

Hi! It´s me, Jo. I´d like to thank you for reading my stuff! I really hope you enjoyed it. If you have any feedback, comments, requests, questions please let me know! 

Also I’m very sorry it took me so much longer to upload a new chapter than I originally thought. University has been more stressful than I predicted :( Oh and if you’d like to be added to the tag list just let me know :)

“Uhm, you want a glass of water or something?” you finally broke the silence. “Yeah, sure.” His voice sounded a bit distracted but because you were trying to hide the shakiness in your own voice you didn´t notice it too much. You filled two glasses with water and put them on the kitchen table. Jihoon was not looking at you. He was focused on the wall that was connecting your kitchen with your small living room, which basically only consisted of a sofa and a TV that you only rarely used. On the wall you had hung up some of your work. Not because you specifically liked it, there was simply not enough space where you could have kept all of your drawings. The wall was stuffed; some of the paintings were even overlapping each other. The thought of him seeing your work was making you so nervous you wished to vanish so you would never have to look him in the eyes again to see his reaction. What if he didn´t like your work? You couldn´t think of anything worse in that moment. But at the very same time you couldn´t keep yourself from staring at his side profile. He really was astonishingly beautiful.

“Did you draw these?” he asked you, still looking at your paintings. “Yup.” “All of them?” “Yeah..” “I…I´m not often speechless but wow I really don´t know what to say.” He turned around to look at you again. “Are they that bad?” you forced out a giggle. He stared at you, he knew you were joking but your voice suddenly didn´t sound confident at all. Your eyes were fixated on the floor; you were trying to avoid eye contact. “Y/N, these are fucking amazing.” He said softly, a smile appearing on his face. He looked so sincere. Accepting compliments had never been one of your strengths but the relief of realizing he actually liked your work paired with the fact that the compliment was coming from Jihoon himself made you grin. “Thank you.” “Don´t thank me. I should thank you for letting me look at them.” “Now you´re exaggerating.” “No I´m not.” “You are!” “Ok, maybe. But you just look too cute when you´re flustered.” You just stared at him for a second, wide eyed, cheeks rosy and hot, still grinning. When you couldn´t bear the tension between the two of you anymore you hid your face in the palms of your hands. “Jihoon, can you please stop.” He chuckled and took two steps in your direction just to put one of his hands on your hip to get you closer to him, while his other hand tried to drag away your own hands from your face. “I´m not doing anything, Y/N. No idea what you talking about.” Obviously having way too much fun teasing you, he was beaming. You had your head tilted to the ground, so you still wouldn´t have to look at his face. “You know exactly what you´re doing.” Your heart was beating so fucking fast and your breathing was shaky but you couldn´t help but giggle at the situation. Why did the bastard always have to tease you?? “I swear I´m innocent!” You were looking up at him again, both of you were grinning, and if you would´ve paid a bit more attention to his breathing you would´ve realized that he wasn´t as calm as you thought. “Innocent, my ass.” You shook your head to accentuate your point. He let out a hearty laugh at your choice of words just to pull you even closer into him at the same time. He now had both of his hands on your hips which had made you put your hands on his arms to steady yourself and oh Jesus you could actually feel his muscles through his shirt. Raising one eyebrow, still smiling at you, he said “If the lady would be so kind to tell me what she is accusing me of, I might be able to change my behavior.” “You´re just…” you started your sentence but you couldn´t get yourself to finish what you wanted to say. The situation, the tension, him…Everything was too much, so you just tried to hide your face on his shoulder. “I´m just what? Continue.” He urged you on but he also held you close to him with putting one of his hands on your lower back. “You´re…you´re just making me so nervous and I don´t even know how to react.” You whispered against his shoulder. He didn´t say anything he just pulled you into an even tighter hug. One hand on your lower back, the other one stroking your hair. “I´m sorry. But you just look too cute when you´re blushing.” “Jihoon!” He chuckled and you could feel the vibrations of it too. “Sorry.” You stayed like this for a while, your bodies pressed together, him stroking your hair. You were so close to him you were able to feel his heart beat in his chest. Your cheeks were still a pretty shade of red and you still were a tiny bit nervous but your heartbeat was finally slowing down again and had started to align with his. You were sure you could´ve stayed like this forever; hugging him in your kitchen while beams of sunlight were coming in through the window.

“Y/N?” “Mhm.” “Can I kiss you?” You lifted your head off his shoulder to look at him. Your eyes were wide, startled by his request but as soon as you saw the tiny bit of insecurity in his eyes you realized that no you hadn´t imagined that, and you also hadn´t misheard, Jihoon really had just asked to kiss you. You didn´t have to think about it, there was probably nothing you wanted more in this exact moment so you simply just nodded with a slight smile. In a second his lips were on yours, his hand was now holding your face. His lips were so soft, and he tasted so damn good and for a moment you forgot about everything. You forgot about how minutes ago that same man you were kissing now had been able to turn you into a blushing mess, you forgot you were standing in your messy apartment, hell you even forgot about your assignment. You just felt his body against yours and how perfectly the two of you molded together, you felt how tight you were holding him, how he was holding you even tighter and fuck you actually felt his lips on yours. When he slid his tongue inside of your mouth, you couldn´t stop yourself from letting out a small sigh which made him chuckle against you.

He eventually pulled away after what had felt like a way too short eternity. He fondly stared at you just to turn his head to look at your drawings again. He still had his hand on your face stroking your cheek when he said: “On a serious note, you´re really talented. Like seriously.” You hugged him tighter, you couldn´t see his smile when you did so. And maybe, just maybe he was blushing a bit too. “Thank you.” “I should be thanking you for drawing me. In some years people are going to pay you lots of money for that." “Oh my god will you stop it already.” You giggled against his chest.   “Never.” You just stood there for a few more moments, both of you not wanting to let go. Being close to him made you feel comfortable and excited at the same time. You could still feel the beating of your heart very distinctively and your stomach was doing things but you also felt at ease. Fuck you had such a crush on this man.   “Ok so like do I have to sit still on a chair or how does this work?” Jihoon ripped you out of your thoughts. “Basically yes.” You giggled and softly pushed yourself away while gesturing to the kitchen table. It felt weird not to touch him anymore. The second you had let go of him, you wanted nothing more than to hug him again and nestle your face against his neck and fuck you really wanted to kiss him again. “Uhm, my desk is really small so I think we should just stay here.” “Perfect.” He sat down at the kitchen table, smirking up at you. He looked so fucking cocky. “Give me a second; I need to get my stuff.” You stuttered, still a bit perplex because of the kiss.

Had this really just happened? You stumbled to your bedroom where you had your desk, on which you kept most of your drawing utensils. Quickly you grabbed all the things you needed. Your mind was foggy, still in denial of what had just happened. Coming back to the kitchen you sat down in the chair opposite of Jihoon and took out all the items that you needed. You tried very hard not to look at him, fuck you swore you´ve never been as nervous as at that exact moment. How were you supposed to draw a straight line after just having kissed him?

“You ready?” you asked, your voice too quiet to sound confident. “Born ready.” He grinned. “Just please make me look handsome.” You playfully rolled your eyes at him. “Are you fishing for compliments, Jihoon?” “I don´t know…is it working?” he chuckled. “You already know you´re handsome. I don´t have to tell you that.” You laughed. “So it was working.” He winked at you. “Shut up.” You averted your gaze from his face, so he wouldn´t see the blush that was covering your cheeks again. He just snickered at your remark but kept looking at you, never turning his eyes off of you.

“Can we talk while you´re drawing or do I have to be quiet so you can concentrate?” “We can talk. I´ll try to pay attention but don´t be mad if I get distracted.” “I could never be mad at you, sweetie.” You nearly dropped the pencil you had just picked up. “Jihoon! Stop calling me that.” He had both of his arms crossed over the table and was leaning forward to grin at you. “You don´t like it?” “Oh my god Jihoon, just stop teasing me.” You said while trying to hide a smile. He threw his hands into the air defensively. “I swear this wasn´t my intention. I´ll stop.” His face was serious but the corner of his mouth was twitching, trying to hold back a smile. After looking at you for a second he added: “I´m sorry, Sweetie.” “Jihoon!” No longer being able to hide his amusement, he let out a deep laugh. That kind of laugh that made his eyes disappear. And even though you were still nervous and blushing you couldn´t help but join in. “I´m sorry Y/N. I´ll try to stop. But you really don´t have to be embarrassed. You do look very pretty when you´re blushing. Seriously.” You didn´t avoid his eyes this time. Why did it feel so intimate to just look him in the eyes? Your breathing wasn´t exactly regular and you felt like your tummy was full of butterflies who were trying out new break dance moves. “Thank you.” Your voice sounded so soft and Jihoon could hear the shyness in it but there was just nothing more adorable than you in that moment, or so he thought. He wouldn´t mind teasing you for hours, hell he´d love that.

“Should I tilt my head a certain way?” “No not really, just try to look my way.” “So I´m getting a free pass to just keep staring at you. Awesome.” “That was just cheesy.” You giggled not looking at him because you had already started to outline the shape of his head on your piece of paper. “But you liked it.” He stated. “I wish I had your ego.” “I swear it´s not as big as it seems.” “Not sure I believe you.” You shot a glance at him as you said so. He didn´t say anything for a moment, only the scraping of your pencil on the paper was filling up the room. Of course you couldn´t have known but Jihoon was contemplating. Contemplating whether he should open up to you. He liked flirting with you, making you blush, fuck he loved kissing you and he´d be lying if he said he hadn´t thought about doing other things to you… but he also couldn´t ignore your seriousness, the way you seemed to be really interested in what he was saying. He couldn´t ignore how you were actually listening to him talk about the things he was passionate about. And he definitely couldn´t ignore the fact that he was nervous because you had only gotten to know this cocky, overly confident side of him. He wanted to get to know you. But he also wanted you to get to know him.

“I´m insecure about a lot of stuff too, you know.” His voice had come out softer than he wanted it to. You didn´t look up from your paper. But he knew you were listening, you always were. “I´m very insecure about my music.” He continued. “I really want to play some songs for you. Now that you showed me your work, it´d only be fair. But I´m afraid you won´t like it.” You stopped drawing for a second and looked at him, puzzled by his honesty. “You really don´t have anything to worry about. I already know I´m going to love your music. Every piece of art, every song or whatever is always a self-portrait of the artist themselves, in some sort of way at least. And I like you, why wouldn´t I like your music?” He stared at you, a hint of disbelief glistening in his eyes. Jihoon had been so sure he would never meet a person who knew all the right words, had been so sure he would never meet a person who would be able to give him a feeling of security just from a sentence. But there you were, sitting in front of him concentrated on your drawing, not aware of how much a difference your words have made. There you were: tenant of all beautiful words he had always wanted to hear. Jihoon didn´t consider himself romantically minded but holy shit you were making him reconsider. “Thank you for saying that, sweetie. It means a lot.” You smiled. This time the pet name didn´t make you blush as much.

You had been drawing for about an hour now. Both of you hadn´t said anything for the last few minutes. The silence was comfortable and neither one of you had felt the urge to break it. Jihoon kept looking at you, admiring your concentrated face while you took in every single one of his features. It felt so right to draw him, like everything that had ever happened in your life had lead up to this exact moment. His face was full of beautiful lines and curves and you saw beautiful shapes everywhere. It amazed you how perfectly and neatly all those sometimes imperfect lines were connected to form something even more beautiful. Yes it felt right to draw him but you also weren´t able to ignore the tiny hint of anxiety that was sitting in your chest. You really wanted this portrait to be perfect, not because you wanted a good grade (that too) but because you wanted him to like it.

Meanwhile Jihoon was still looking at your wall full of drawings. “Did you hang up that drawing of that poppy field you did?” he finally asked. You smiled to yourself, realizing he had actually remembered the paintings you had told him about. “I gave it to my mom. It´s back at home.” “By the way I still remember you telling me about that one hedgehog drawing you did as a kid. Do you have that around somewhere?” he beamed at you. You groaned playfully “I told you it´s not even good!” “I just wanna see a cute hedgehog drawing. Is that too much to ask for?” he was pouting and you giggled. “Maybe I´ll look for it later.” “You´re the best.” A childish grin settling back onto his face. Trying to hide your own smile you just continued to shade the left side of his face.

After the second hour had passed Jihoon seemed to have grown a bit bored with sitting still the entire time. “What are you thinking about?” “Not much honestly. I´m contemplating if I should use another pencil for that part or if I…” “You ever do nude paintings?” You looked up from your drawing to look at him. You had definitely not expected him to ask a question like that. If this was a comedy show, you would´ve comically spit out your drink out of shock. “You´re volunteering or something?” you had no clue how you did it but you somehow managed to make your voice sound very casual as if his question hadn´t really affected you much. Obviously amused by your attempt to flirt he raised an eyebrow. “You really just want to get me naked Y/N don´t you?” This was not fair! Why was he so cocky? When he saw you trying to hide your blushing cheeks with staring (a bit too hard) at your drawing he chuckled. “I´m just joking…” he said softly and waited for you to stop eyeing the piece of paper in front of you. When you glanced up at him he added “Unless…” while wiggling his eyebrows. Yes your face felt hot from blushing and yes your hands had started to shake a bit again but you couldn´t help but laugh. “Jihoon you are the worst.” You giggled. “Nah I´m not.” He smiled at you. “No you´re not.” You smiled back.

“Nah but seriously. You ever do nude paintings? I´m just curious.” “Yeah sometimes. But I only ever draw women.” “Why?” “I don´t know. I guess I just find the female body aesthetically more pleasing.” “Makes two of us.” You giggled “Why did I know you would say something like that?” “Because I´m a smart man who appreciates women?” he smirked. “How are you so cocky?” “Cocky? What do you mean? I´m just being honest.” He dramatically put his hand over his heart as if he was outraged you´d think something like that of him. You snickered “Yeah right…” “You don´t think I´m smart?” You were still smiling, but your eyes were focused on your drawing again. “I didn´t say that.” “So you don´t think I appreciate women?” “I didn´t…” He interrupted you before you could finish your sentence. “You know, I could show you. That I appreciate women I mean.” He was smirking when you looked up from your drawing. Had he really just said that? You let out a nervous laugh “Jihoon, please stop teasing me.” You again hid your face behind your hands. “I mean…I meant what I said.” He chuckled. “But yes I´ll stop, sweetie. I know you have to finish your drawing.” “Thank you.” You mumbled as you continued to draw. His words echoed in your ears...I meant what I said.

“I think I´m done.” You smiled at him and slid the piece of paper over the table for him to look at. He looked at your drawing. He had always been rather confident when it came to his looks. He considered himself averagely looking. He had small insecurities like everyone else, sometimes he thought his eyes were too small and not always did he like the way his eyebrows went or how his nose bent. Normal people stuff. But he was looking at your drawing of him now and all those insecurities seemed to have vanished. You had really captured his face perfectly. He didn´t look perfect he still thought his nose could be a bit smaller but for some reason the drawing looked so delicate, so soft. He could see you had drawn it. He was sure he would´ve been able to recognize any of your drawings anywhere. He looked at his face and his heart started beating a tad bit too fast, because he realized you had looked at every tiny detail of his face and still decided to draw this soft, beautiful version of him. Hell you´d definitely get an A. But he couldn´t care less about that. All his mind was focused on was realizing that this was actually how you were seeing him. He was sure he would never be able to completely fathom that.

“You don´t like it.” your voice made him look up from the drawing. “What?” he wasn´t sure he had heard you right. “You´ve been staring at it for so long…you don´t like it do you?” “Sweetie, you´re crazy.” “What?” now it was your turn to be confused. He just got up and walked over to you. Lingering in front of you for what must´ve been at least half a second he looked down at you still sitting on your chair and then he simply bent down and pressed his lips onto yours. It took you a short moment to reciprocate the kiss. You were still confused. Hadn´t he just called you crazy? Deepening the kiss he was reaching down to cup your face with his hand. Just as you had completely immersed yourself in the kiss he pulled away and stared into your eyes. “How the fuck are you gonna hand me the most perfect fucking drawing I´ve ever seen and still think I´m not gonna like it? Huh? How does that make sense?” “I…” you stammered. “You really have no clue how goddamn talented you are.” He didn´t even let you think of something to respond before he was kissing you again. This time you were quick to move your lips against his. You were still sitting when he grabbed your hips and arms to pull you up against him. He held your hips so tight that it almost hurt but fuck it also felt just so so good.

You sighed against his mouth, which made him pull you even closer to his body. The kiss felt so good but you also weren´t just able to forgot about how he actually liked your portrait of him. Had he actually called your drawing “the most perfect fucking drawing I´ve ever seen”? You had been so worried he wouldn´t like it, only for you to find out he loved it. You giggled against his lips. “What?” he pulled away, his hand still on your face, putting a strand of hair behind your ear. “It´s just…I´m really happy you like the drawing.” “I love it.” he replied, his voice so sincere. “Thank you for letting me draw you.” “Don´t you dare thank me. I literally just had to sit on a chair.” “I mean yeah…but still…thank you.” “I said you shouldn´t thank me. Why are you never listening to me Y/N?” he jokingly groaned. He really wasn´t giving you a choice was he? You looked at him, trying to hold back a laugh before you started: “Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, tha…” He cut you off by kissing you yet again. His mouth finding yours in a matter of seconds. The kiss was more rough this time, he didn´t waste time to slide his tongue inside of your mouth. It took your breath away. “Is this really what I have to do to stop you from thanking me?” “Maybe” you grinned. He shook his head as if he was disappointed before hurriedly pressing his mouth back onto yours.

When you felt his hands wander under the hem of your shirt and touch your bare skin you shivered. He quickly pulled away “Is this ok?” You didn´t trust yourself to use your voice so you simply took both of his hands and slid them further under your shirt. When you leaned in to kiss him again he smiled against you. He couldn´t believe his luck. You felt so good against him, so delicate, so soft. He let his hands travel further under your shirt to feel your bare skin. You felt so warm and when he was tracing his fingers over your side he could feel goosebumps forming on your skin. As you wrapped your arms around his neck just to slightly pull at his hair he groaned against your lips. God he really wanted you so bad. You still weren´t able to fully grasp the situation. You were actually kissing Jihoon. The boy you had only known for a few days, the boy you could listen to for hours because everything in him was full of passion, wholeheartedness and artistry. You didn´t know a lot about tunes or rhythm but you knew Jihoon embodied music and you couldn´t get enough.

Your bodies were glued together, not even a thin sheet of paper would have fit between the two of you, so when he walked you a few steps back until your hips were colliding with the table, you had to hold onto his arms and neck for balance. When he reached down to grab the back of your thighs to hoist you up onto the kitchen table you let out a tiny squeak of surprise which made him chuckle. “I´m not gonna let you fall. Don´t worry.” You were now sitting on the table, slightly looking down at him between your thighs, his hands under your shirt on your bare hips again. “You sure?” you raised your eyebrows. “Very sure, sweetie.” With that he started giving you light open mouthed-kisses on your neck that made you pull on his hair in return.

When he found that sweet spot right under your ear that made you see stars you gently moaned. “Fuck, Jihoon.” Without looking up at you he mumbled “What is it, sweetie?” When you didn´t answer he paused to look at you while cupping your face. “You want me to stop?” Yes he was teasing you; you could easily tell by the grin that had spread all over his face, he knew he was making you feel good. But his question was sincere.  You knew asking for consent and respecting boundaries were the bare minimum but fuck could this man be any more perfect? “God, no” you said and pulled him in for another kiss.

Jihoon´s hands wandered down to rub your thighs through your pants which made your hips jerk forward against his stomach. The growing heat in your abdomen robbed you of the ability to form a clear thought, you weren´t thinking straight, hell you weren´t thinking at all. You had slipped your hands under his shirt and were running them over his back. The combination of feeling his skin on yours and him continuously sucking on your neck and your lips made you let out a soft moan. He couldn´t believe you were making those sweet sounds just because of him, for him. “Sweetie?” his breath tickled your ear and made you squirm. “Mhm.” “Can I eat you out?” Your eyes widened at his request. Never had someone asked you something like this so boldly. When he didn’t receive an answer right away he slowed down and looked at you. “You don´t have to say yes. I didn´t mean to make you uncomfortable, sweetie.” “You didn´t make me uncomfortable. I just…you´re the first guy to ever ask me for this…” “Seriously?” You just nodded. And in that exact moment Jihoon wanted nothing more than to ruin you. You looked so innocent, so fucking pretty. “Let me take care of you?” he asked. You smiled at his choice of words. This man made you so so nervous, and you didn´t want to, couldn´t ignore the heat in your abdomen. “Please.” You whispered. A smile spread on his face and he gave you a quick peck on your lips. “Lie down.” His voice sounded so husky, so determined, he didn´t leave space for objection. He gently pushed your upper body onto the table so only your legs were hanging down. He quickly picked up your drawing from besides your head and put it on a chair nearby. “We don’t want this to get wrinkles, don´t we?” You let out a small giggle and before you could reply he had hitched up your shirt to leave kisses on your stomach. He didn´t waste time and pulled your shirt up to your chest so the only think covering your breasts was your bra. His mouth was still all over your upper body when he yanked down your bra so your nipples were met with cold air. You had closed your eyes and when he gently pulled on one of your nipples he could see how your mouth fell slightly open just to let out a soft moan. “Such pretty tits.” He groaned. His voice was so deep and he was so close to you, you could feel the vibrations of it on your stomach. You could´ve sworn this was the hottest thing you had ever heard in your entire life.

When you felt his hands pull down the zipper of your pants you tried to lift up your hips as so to help him but he only used his second hand to push you back down. “You´re so impatient, sweetie. Let me do the work.” You whimpered at his words. He was slowly pushing down your pants, including your panties while kissing down your legs. After you had heard the thud of your pants hitting the floor Jihoon hooked his arms under your knees. Your pussy lay open and unprotected before him but he didn´t pay any attention to it. You could feel the air on your folds and the wetness that had gathered between your legs. He was grabbing and clawing at your thighs and leaving kitten-licks all over your skin. As he got closer to your core he bit down gently. It felt so good, you weren´t able to hold back your moans. The noises that were coming from you urged him on even further. When he finally got to your core he looked down at your pussy. He didn´t touch you yet, he just looked down at you. You felt already so hot from arousal, you didn´t think it was possible but your face started blushing even more.  

“You ok?” he asked while caressing your legs softly. “Fuck, just touch me, Jihoon.” You whined and you were sure that with anyone else you would´ve felt embarrassed to sound this desperate but this was Jihoon. “Say please.” He grinned. “Please.” In any other situation you would´ve laughed at his words but you would´ve been lying if you said it didn´t turn you on. “You´re such a good girl.” He said when he finally ran his fingers up your folds. You bucked your hips against his hand at the sudden touch which just made him chuckle lightly. Your breathing was heavy and he could see your chest heaving up and down. Yes you were impatient for him to finally touch you where you needed it the most, but holy shit Jihoon was just as impatient to put his mouth on your beautiful pussy.

When he couldn´t hold back any longer he pushed your legs up even further so they were close to your shoulders and finally put his mouth over your folds. Your legs trembled at the first contact. And because patience definitely wasn´t one of Jihoon´s strengths he immediately started sucking on your clit and lapping up your wetness. It felt so good you thought you were turning mad. Your hands had clung to the sides of the table but now you had started to pull at his hair desperately, how could his mouth feel this good?? After a harsh pull on his hair he groaned against your pussy. “You taste so fucking good, sweetie.” You were not capable of forming a reply so you just let out another moan.

The heat in your lower body was so unbearable, so big, you felt like you would burst into flames any minute. As he started to suck on your clit more harshly you were sure you wouldn´t last another 5 minutes. Your orgasm was already so close and you couldn’t help but pull his face even closer to your core. He understood and continued sucking and licking your clit in the same rhythm. “Jihoon, I´m gonna cum.” You mumbled in between moans. He didn´t lift his head just let out an approving moan against your core. And then you came with Jihoon´s mouth over your pussy and your hands gripping his hair and for a moment you thought you would burst into tears from pleasure.

After your hips had stilled he gently put down your legs and pulled you back up into a sitting positon just to hug you close. Your breathing was still not back to normal and your legs were shaking a bit. Jihoon was soothingly running his hands up and down your back. “You good?” he finally broke the silence. “Better than good.” “You really are adorable you know.” “Just shut up.” You giggled.

Neither of you had a clue how much time had passed while holding each other. Your pants were still scattered on the floor and both of your hair was a mess but you couldn´t have imagined a more perfect moment. As you looked out of the window behind Jihoon´s shoulders you saw that the sun had already started to set and it was already getting dark. Without much thought you asked: “Hey uhm, do you maybe wanna stay the night?” Jihoon looked up at you. You really were gorgeous. The truth is he would´ve probably sold his kidney to spend a night with you but he also knew he had classes tomorrow morning that he still had to do some homework for. Life wasn´t fair. He ran his fingers over your jawline while looking at your face. “Fuck, sweetie I wish I could. But I still have to do some work for school.” “Oh my god I´m so sorry. And I kept you here all day just to finish my own assignment. I´m sorry.” He shook his head and gave you a quick peck on the lips. “Hush. That´s bullshit. I was just selfish.” “Huh?” “I just wanted a pretty portrait of myself.” He grinned and you let out a laugh. “I´m sure you´ll get an A by the way.” He added. “I really hope so.”

After you had put on your pants again and had fixed your ponytail you were standing next to Jihoon at your front door. “Can I see you again soon?” he asked. “Only if you say please.” “God you´re such a brat.” He chuckled and in a second his lips had found yours again. You really didn´t want to let him go. “Text me when you get home?” you asked. “Of course, sweetie.”

When he had left you started digging through your old paintings. 

The next day at school you were waiting for him in front of the music building. ”Y/N, what are you doing here?” He immediately pulled you into a hug. “Not happy to see me?” you grinned and started rummaging through your bag. “Of course I am. I´m just surprised.” “I actually need to get going asap because my classes are starting in a minute.” You murmured while still searching for something in your bag. “There it is” you mumbled as you pulled out the small envelope you had prepared. “I actually just wanted to give you this.” Jihoon hesitantly grabbed the piece of paper. “Why…” “I wanted to give you this as a thank you for letting me draw you.” He looked down at the envelope. “What…I told you, you didn´t have to thank me!” “I know but it´s nothing special. I promise!” you said, already turning on your heels to get back to the art building. “I hope you have a wonderful day!”

Jihoon just stood there completely dumbfounded. He opened the envelope right away, out fell two pieces of paper. He picked the smaller one. It was a little note on which you had written words with your neat handwriting:

“Thank you again. I know you said I didn´t have to thank you but still... I also know you really wanted to see that (really bad) hedgehog drawing I did as a kid but I couldn´t find it anymore. So I thought I´d just draw you a new hedgehog. Hope you like it!”

He just stood there. Speechless. And that was a big deal. Jihoon was never speechless. Why couldn´t he stop staring at this drawing of a hedgehog? He didn´t even care about hedgehogs. He was 120 percent sure he had never spent more than two seconds thinking about hedgehogs in his entire life.  But nonetheless he couldn´t stop staring. He of course knew that all this had nothing to do with the hedgehog itself.   And he knew it was ridiculous because he had just met you what was it? Not even a week ago? He knew it, but he also couldn´t keep looking at that small cute painting of a hedgehog. A fucking hedgehog…

Did Jihoon really walk you home? Had he really held your hand? For a moment you thought you were messing up remaining pieces of your dreams with reality but then you remembered the text he had sent you before you fell asleep. Prying your eyes open you looked at your phone. The text was still there, staring back at you, still unanswered. (You also had 4 unread messages from Jo but you couldn´t care less right now)

Unknown: I just got home. Goodnight, Sweetie. Don´t forget to drink lots of water!

Sweetie. You knew you wouldn´t be getting used to that soon. When he had called you Sweetie last night you felt so taken aback because maybe for the first time in your life, you had enjoyed a guy calling you by a pet name. He had sounded so honest, in a certain way even serious, he had sounded so different from all those boys who were calling girls by all those sickly sweet things just to get into their pants, belittling them in the process. He had been so incredibly considerate. The way his voice had seemed to have gotten a tad bit deeper when saying it, the way you could practically hear him smirking, it was sheer impossible getting used to something like that.

After you had saved his contact you stared at your phone. Simply seeing his name on your screen made your heart, not jump, but it did make a distinct little hop. With a big sigh you let yourself fall back onto your mattress. What crazy ass romantic movie parallel universe have you stumbled into? Meeting a guy you were interested in, was already a rare occurrence. But meeting a guy you were interested in, who was also showing interest in you (AND CALLED YOU SWEETIE) was something that only happened once in a blue moon.

You knew you had to send him a reply. It didn´t help that you were reading his message over and over again, hearing his voice in your head. You needed to focus. Just because you didn´t have to look him in the eyes, and didn´t have to actually form words with your mouth, just because you simply had to type it, you did only spend about 5 minutes coming up with a (you hoped) funny text.  

You: Hey! I fell asleep yesterday. With my clothes still on! Like I actually wore jeans to sleep. That´s like fucked up. Anyways, thank you for texting me :) I had so much fun last night.

After hitting send you instantly threw your phone onto your bed. You were scared of him answering right away. Scared but also excited but also scared. Giggling to yourself because you were aware of how dramatic you were handling the entire situation you decided to get up and start with your day. It was only eight and you made an agreement with yourself not to think about him until after breakfast because having a crush on a (extremely beautiful and funny and handsome and hot) boy who you had just met two days ago was ridiculous, or so you told yourself. Taking a shower, brushing your teeth, putting on clean clothes… your undertaking was going well, you hadn´t thought of him, at least not directly. You had thought of not thinking about him…and you counted that as a win. During breakfast you decided to check Jo´s messages.

Jo: Did you use condoms??

Jo: Did you get home safely?

Jo: Is he staying over?

Jo: Are you ok?

You couldn´t help but laugh at how excited she was about the whole situation. She probably had been annoying Hansol with it all evening. Poor man.

You: Yup I got home very safely. And no he didn´t stay over.

You: We had so much fun tho.

You: Did you get home safely?

She answered within two minutes.

Jo: Don´t you dare make this about me. I NEED TO KNOW EVERYTHING.

Jo: Did you kiss?

You: No we didn´t. But we held hands.

Jo: CUTE.  When will you see him again?

You: I don´t know yet. I hope soon.

Jo: I hope so too. I´m already planning the marriage.

You: omg stop it…LOL

Just after you had hit send, you felt your phone vibrate with a new text. Of course it was from Jihoon. Without an ounce of hesitation you practically threw your phone next to you on the couch. You did not want to look at it. Actually, you did. But you needed to physically prepare yourself for reading what he had messaged you. You could feel your heart oh so clearly in your chest. How ridiculous it was that you reacted this way just because of a goddamn text…Calm down. You took a deep breath in and out.

Before reading his new message (and it wasn´t just one!!!! There were three of them) you reread what you had last written.

You: Hey! I fell asleep yesterday. With my clothes still on! Like I actually wore jeans to sleep. That´s like fucked up. Anyways, thank you for texting me :) I had so much fun last night.

Deep breath in. And out.

Jihoon: Hahahahaha yes Y/N, that is fucked up.

Jihoon: But I´m pretty sure you still looked cute.

Jihoon: You wanna get lunch tomorrow after class?

HOLY FUCK. This was real. You just got asked on a date by one of the most beautiful boys you had ever seen. Yes, you had already held hands yesterday, but there had been alcohol involved and people do a lot of things when they´re drunk. But all of your past overthinking just turned out to have been utterly pointless because Jihoon wanted to see you again. And he had called you cute. Your entire face was burning and your stomach seemed to do some weird gymnastic exercises.

You did not have to think long before typing your answer.

You: I´d love that :)

Jihoon: Awesome. I´ll show you my favorite place.

He actually wanted to show you his favorite place. Your heart was still beating way too fast and the blush on your face was still very visible but at the same time you felt a calming warmth spread through your stomach. You remembered you had felt so comfortable talking to him last night and for some dumb cliché romantic movie reason you felt like you had already known him for years. And now he wanted to show you his favorite place. That was a big hell of a deal. You couldn´t stop smiling.  

After dumbly grinning at the ceiling for several seconds you scolded yourself. You couldn´t just be lying around all day daydreaming about a boy. Sighing you remembered that today, you had to finally start with your portrait assignment. It was already due on Wednesday. You needed it to be good. Your professor was very supportive and had been pushing you to become better. Disappointing her was the last thing you wanted to do. But you didn´t even know who you wanted to draw yet…some random celebrity was just boring…a family member maybe? But you had all drawn them before already. Burying your face in your hands you sat on your couch. After about fifteen minutes you reluctantly started sketching your mother´s face. You´ve drawn her face so many times already, it was nothing special. You weren´t satisfied with your choice at all but you couldn´t think of someone better at the moment.

When you realized it was already getting dark outside you stared down at the lines you had been working on for basically the entire day. You didn´t like it. Far back in your head you knew that other people would label your work as good, maybe even great, but you just couldn´t bring yourself to like it. The facial features you were trying to portrait just didn´t seem right to you. You only had so many good pictures of your mother and remembering every single wrinkle and mark on her face was harder than you thought. The way the lines were flowing over the paper didn´t look right, it didn´t look like you had drawn them. You were aware that every artist had days like this, but the deadline was next week and you simply didn´t have the time to start over.  Also you had a date tomorrow. How the fuck were you going to survive the next days?

Before going to bed you forced yourself to lay out the clothes you wanted to wear for tomorrow. You weren´t exactly a morning person and you knew you´d panic if you had to find an outfit to wear right after waking up. An outfit Jihoon was going to see you in…

You fell asleep thinking of tomorrow, a mixture of anxiety and anticipation making your stomach feel weird.

The first thing you did, after waking up the next day, was to check your phone:

Jihoon: You still up for lunch today?

Jihoon: 1pm in front of the arts building?

You: I´ll be there!

After having typed an answer, you got dressed, grabbed all your things and left your apartment. You weren´t one of those people who got up an hour earlier to do yoga or whatever bullshit normal people do in the morning. Every day you woke up only twenty minutes before your first lecture started. Every single second of sleep counted.

While you were walking you got a message from Jo.

Jo: You up for breakfast after the second lesson? You need to tell me everything!!!!

You knew she was probably already dying from curiosity. She was too nosy for her own good. But you had mercy.

You: Sure!

You were actually looking forward to telling Jo everything. You still couldn´t believe what had happened yourself, maybe it would become more real through finally saying everything out loud. Your first two lessons you spent listening to the professor talk about Paul Cézanne and, for some reason, reciting every last unnecessary detail of his private life. You decided that the only important piece of information from this lecture was that some of Cézanne´s landscape paintings were sort of pretty.

When you finally sunk down in the chair opposite of Jo´s you were already grinning. You simply could not wait for her reaction to everything. She immediately leaned forward while leaning on her elbows. “Start already” “Oh my god. Can´t I just relax for a second.” “NO.” You had to giggle at her urgency. “Alright, alright…”

After you had told her everything, from the long talk the two of you had had, over the way he had made you blush continuously, to when he had walked you home and had given you his phone number she just said, “That´s so unbearably cute and romantic it´s disgusting.” You couldn´t help but laugh out loud at her remark. “You two are so sickeningly romantic I wanna die. Why can´t you be as cool as me and Hansol?” she was grinning.   “First of all, we´re not a couple and second of all, you two are at least as disgusting!” you were laughing. “You realize mine and Hansol´s first date was when I drank too much and he had to hold my hair while I was throwing up?” “Yeah. I know the story.”, you were still laughing. She continued anyway “And then he drove me home. And he kissed me even though I had just thrown up minutes ago. Ok, now that I think of it, maybe our first date was even more disgusting. I´ll shut up.” Both of your laughter was carried through the entire cafeteria. The other people, who were most likely just trying to have a calm morning were probably already, annoyed by the both of you but you couldn´t care less. “Also. I kinda maybe have a lunch date with him later.” “You´re kidding!!!!!” You just shook your head and smiled. “Oh my god,  I´m dying this is the cutest shit. I´m sooo happy for you. Are you nervous?” “So fucking much. But I can´t wait to see him again.”

The rest of your classes passed rather quickly. Not being the biggest fan of auditory learning you were happy about it, but at the same time you couldn´t help getting more nervous every time the hand of the clock on the wall moved. Rationally you knew you were being silly. There was nothing to worry about. You were only going on a date with the most attractive guy you´ve ever seen, who is able to make you blush with just a raise of his eyebrow. There was totally nothing to worry about. Fuck.

When you classes had ended you still had fifteen minutes before you were meeting Jihoon. You were so nervous, your hands were shaking and you didn´t have the faintest clue how you would be able to form a straight sentence later. You slipped through the door into the girl´s bathroom. You washed your hands with cold water while staring at your own face in the mirror. The last time you had spoken to him, you had been drunk, there was no doubt the alcohol had helped you with your anxiety. Today you were on your own. Why did you always have to be so nervous? With one long breath and a last look in the mirror, you were actually happy with how your hair fell today; you pushed yourself away from the sink and made your way to your meeting place.

Through the glass front of the building you could see him standing next to that weird sculpture, which the seniors from last year had designed, in front of the building. He was looking at his phone. Every step you took made you even more nervous (how was that even possible?). How were you going to greet him? Hug him? Shake his hand?? NOoo, what the fuck that´d be way too formal. Why were you thinking bullshit like that? You took a deep breath, put a loose strand of hair behind your ear and opened the door. He still hadn´t seen you.

“Hey.” You called softly, loud enough for him to realize it was meant for him. “Hey you.” He looked up and if you weren´t mistaken, his eyes lit up when he saw you, a sparkle that you were sure you could watch all day. But maybe it was just the sun reflecting in his eyes (it was not). You were now standing in front of him, unsure what to do. He smiled at you; put his phone away in his back pocket and then he pulled you into a hug. Your first hug. And holy fuck, a hug shouldn´t be a big deal but it definitely felt like it. It wasn´t one of those hugs people gave because they thought it was expected of them. His hug was tight and you could actually feel his hands on your back. Jihoon´s embrace was so soft, so affectionate. You actually felt like you were stuck in one of Claude Monet´s paintings. Gentle, colorful, overwhelming, so beautiful, yet realistic and real. You smiled, thinking of that comparison. Neither one of you noticed the students leaving the building smiling at you because the hug was obviously too long for a hug to be considered normal. He felt so warm and safe, and when you wrapped your arms around him even tighter you briefly touched his hair, and goddamn it, it was so soft.

“It´s good to see you again.” He finally mumbled against your shoulder. “You too.” He pulled away and looked at you. He was grinning like a kid in a candy store, his eyes had disappeared and small wrinkles had appeared around his nose. It was absolutely precious. You had no choice but to smile back at him.

“You hungry?” he finally broke the silence. “A bit.” At that moment your stomach growled. (It must´ve been destiny) “A bit? I see…,” he laughed. Your cheeks flushed with a light tone of red. “Come on.” he took your hand, not giving you enough time to be embarrassed about the situation. “Where are we going?” you asked. “I promised I´d show you my favorite place.” He gently started pulling you away from the building while still looking at you, smiling. Your body still felt like there was electricity running through your veins and your face must have been still flushed red but it felt so right to hold his hand. You smiled back.  

He took you to a little ramen restaurant, close to town. The front door seemed so inconspicuous that you had probably walked past it without noticing it in the past. As the two of you entered he was still holding your hand. He led you through the interior of the restaurant, where some people were already having lunch. You knew you already liked the place when you saw how diverse the clientele was. At one table sat two boys, approximately your age, stuffing their mouths full of Ramen, while at another table two businesswomen seemed to have a heated conversation. Jihoon dragged you past them, and only stopped when you were standing in a small backyard with a few tables of which only one of them was occupied by an elderly couple who were sharing a plate of what looked like Gyoza.

You chose the table for two that was the furthest away from the door and took a seat. On the way here, you had been overly focused on Jihoon, on how tightly he pressed your fingers, how he occasionally stroked the back of your hand with his thumb, the quick glances he threw at you, your undivided attention had been all on him but now that you were sitting here in this absolutely adorable backyard, you allowed your brain to briefly focus your attention on your surroundings. Climbing plants were growing up the wall of the house, carrying small pretty blue blossoms, the blue of the flowers looking especially pretty in front of the beige colored wall plaster.  In the corner, where two walls from two different buildings met each other, the blue and beige mixed with a white from the neighboring wall and a light pink of some petals that were growing on bushes that were planted there. The colors alone went so beautifully together you just couldn´t help but stare. When you saw the little clay-figure of a frog in a suit sitting on the ground, as if he had to guard those bushes, you had to giggle.

“What is it?” Jihoon interrupted your thoughts. He was beaming at you as if you had just found the cure for cancer. You couldn´t have known it, of course, but Jihoon would´ve been able to watch you look at those flowers for hours on end. He was sure the way your eyes started to sparkle when looking at something beautiful was the cutest thing he had ever seen in his entire life.

“Nothing really. It´s just, that frog there looks so adorable.” “What frog?” he turned his head to look at the figure himself and then continued “Oh that frog. That´s just Ferdinand.” As you were laughing at his remark, he smiled fondly at you, proud of himself for being the one bringing those sounds out of you. “Ferdinand? You serious?” you grinned, finally having caught your breath again. “Yep. He´s like my best buddy. We always have very interesting conversations whenever I come here.”   “Ferdinand does seem like an intellectual to me, I bet your talks are always incredibly exciting.” At that Jihoon joined your laughter. His laughter reminded you of vacation, of secluded beaches, of evening sun, of a loaded ice cream cone, of not worrying. “Can I tell you something.” you already knew from the tone in his voice that he wasn´t going to say anything serious. “Always.” “I don´t even know Ferdinand. This is the first time I noticed him. We´re basically strangers. Hell, I don´t even know if his name is Ferdinand.” Your stomach already hurt from laughter while you held your hand in front of your mouth, trying not to laugh out loud again. “Jihoon, you are so silly.” “Oh, I know sweetie, I know.” he smiled knowingly, almost cocky as he leaned back into his chair and locked his arms behind the back of his head. You were still laughing but you had no choice but being You stunned over how easily he could go from being the sweetest and cutest human being to making you blush like crazy. It was simply not fair.

“So tell me, how was your day?” he came to your rescue. He was still smiling, enjoying the effect he had on you. When you started talking, it took you a few sentences to gain back your confidence and certainty in your voice. Your conversation was light and easy but not at all shallow. He listened to you attentively and even asked for details, you seriously felt like you were telling him the most exciting and fascinating stories he has ever heard. Maybe you really were living in a romantic movie now because he honestly was making you feel like you were the most important girl on earth right now. You only were interrupted by the waiter who quickly took your order. Talking to Jihoon felt so familiar while at the same time not. You did have the feeling of having known him for years, but you also felt like you didn´t know anything about this boy sitting in front of you. Both in a good way. He made you comfortable and curious. And because people who have a crush are blind to some things you wondered if he was feeling the same way about you.

When the waiter had dropped off the two plates of food in front of you, and you both had just taken your first bite, neither of you had to say anything. You even closed your eyes briefly and let out a short sigh. The food really was that good.

“It tastes like heaven, doesn´t it?” he cocked an eyebrow at you. “It really does. How have I never been here, I´ve been missing out on this for so long.” You sighed dramatically which made him grin. “Thank god you met me, huh?” Your gazes met, and although his remark had definitely contained a hint of cockiness, he now looked at you, as gently as if you were the most beautiful, most delicate thing he had ever seen in his life. Looking into his eyes, your heart skipped a beat, and even though you were flustered, you could simply not turn your eyes away. Because, yes, he was right, you were really happy you had met him. “Thank you so much for showing me this place. Seriously.” You finally said, your voice way too hushed to sound confident. “You´re very welcome, Y/N. I´m happy you´re here with me.”

You quickly fell back into a conversation about music. You absolutely loved listening to him talk about his passion. He got so excited talking about his work and when you mentioned that he finally had to show you some of his work, he even got a little shy. As fellow artist you understood the insecurity that came with showing other people personal works. Nothing was more relatable to you than the fear of not being able to convey to other people what you had tried so hard to express through your art, or the fear people wouldn´t even understand your kind of expression. But you also knew that any kind of art is always, in a way, a portrait of the artist himself. And when you were looking at Jihoon, listened to the way he talked, you already knew that his music was going to be just so goddamn beautiful.

The minutes you had spent talking to him had disappeared like the wind carries away seeds from a dandelion clock. The time had gone by so quickly, you hadn´t even realized that the two of you had been talking for over two hours. When the waiter came with your bill, you wanted to grab your wallet, because fuck gender roles but Jihoon was faster. You looked at him aghast, ready to tell him he really should´ve let you pay. The words already on your lips, Jihoon didn´t even let you start “I know, I know”, he held his hands up defensively “You wanted to pay and I´m sorry, well actually I´m not…” he laughed. “You didn´t even give me the time to look at the bill!” you were smiling now too but you still tried to keep your tone at least somewhat serious. “I´m sorry, sweetie.” He took your hand “What if I just let you pay next time?” You felt like the floor had been pulled from under your feet (and you were still sitting on your chair). He really wanted to see you again. You weren´t completely oblivious (only a bit) and you knew the date had been going well, but hearing him say those words was a totally different story. You nodded; he was still smiling at you. “Yes, I can live with that.” Your voice was a bit shaky. “Deal.” He was still holding your hand over the table, brushing his thumb over your knuckles.

He shortly looked down before posing his question “Ok so the thing is, I really enjoyed this and I kinda wanna keep talking to you so, do you wanna go for a walk?” And fuck you really really really really wanted to. Like REALLY. But the thought of your portrait assignment made you hesitate. You knew you still had so much work to do, hell you probably had to redo everything you drew yesterday.   “I…” you started when he cut you off. “You don´t have to, Y/N. I don´t want to pressure you into anything.” he smiled softly but you could see a tiny bit of disappointment changing his features, he must´ve noticed you were a bit hesitant to answer him. 

“No! I´d really love to. I love talking to you too. But I should go home to work on an assignment. It´s due on Wednesday and I´m kinda panicking because I haven´t even really started yet.” You looked down at the table where your hands were intervened. “Oh I get it. What´s the assignment?” “Basically I just need to draw a portrait of someone but I really really want it to be good. I started drawing my mom yesterday but I don´t like it. I think I don´t have enough good photos to draw her realistically and I´m not that great at drawing from memory.” “So you basically need someone to model for you.” You laughed softly, “I guess so.” “Why don´t you draw me then?” he winked at you. You blinked. Once, twice. Had he actually winked at you?? This man was going to be the death of you. Your eyes slightly widened, a blush was creeping up your neck again “You´re kidding.” “I am. Unless…” he was grinning from ear to hear. He really was enjoying your embarrassment way too much. “Also I´d say my face is pretty.” If he wasn´t holding your hand you would´ve tried hiding your face but that wasn´t an option now. “It is.” You stammered. “Did you just call me pretty?” he smirked. That was the last straw. You couldn´t take it anymore. You pulled your hand out of his grasp and hid your blushing face. “Maybe.” “I see. But I do think your face is even prettier.” He chuckled. You looked at him, that goddamn cocky grin on his slips. He knew what he was doing. Gathering all your left confidence you replied, “I can´t draw myself though.” “That´s why you should be drawing me.” “Wait, are you actually being serious?” “I´m not not serious.” He was still grinning but you could hear the earnestness in his voice. “I don´t even know what to say…” “Just say: yes Jihoon I´d love to draw your pretty face and I´ll even make your eyes a bit bigger so you´ll be even prettier than in real life.” You momentarily forgot about your heart beating this fast and your still cherry red face. You loved his eyes and how they disappeared whenever he was smiling. “What? No! Your eyes are perfect just the way they are.” “I appreciate the compliment, sweetie.” He smiled warmly at you. “But I really think we should go now, you still have to draw my portrait today.” You giggled. “I didn´t even agree yet!” He was getting up from his chair “Oh come on,” as soon as you were standing up too he reached for your hand again, “no one would turn down an offer like this.” “Jihoon, you are so full of yourself.” you laughed heartily. He over dramatically clutched his heart with his free hand. “Ow, don´t hurt me like that Y/N when I´m just trying to trick you into spending more time with me.” His blatant honesty made you speechless. You just looked at him and if you weren´t completely mistaken a tiny bit of red was covering his cheeks now too. “Fine. I´ll draw you.” “I am disproportionately delighted to hear that.” You giggled at his choice of words while squeezing his hand a bit tighter. And then the two of you were walking to your apartment, side by side, hand in hand, wearing matching grins.

The next morning you woke up to three unread messages from Jo.

Jo: “You still up for the party?”

Jo: “I´ll come pick you up at 8.”

Jo: “Oh and I asked Hansol about Jihoon :) From what he told me he seems like a really great guy. Also he says Jihoon is this super talented songwriter which is just incredibly hot if you ask me…”

Oh my god.

You: 8 is perfect.

You: You talked to Hansol about it?? Jo!!! That´s so embarrassing.

You only had to wait a few minutes for her answer.

Jo: Don´t worry. I didn´t tell him you fell in love at first sight ;)

Jo: See you at 8

You: I´m not in love with him!!!!!!

Thinking about the party filled you with anticipation which had an accompanying taste of a mixture between nervousness and uncertainty. You knew that your brain was probably just overreacting, likely Jihoon would turn out to be boring, maybe even rude and you would have forgotten about him by tomorrow. But it has been a while since you had been as thrilled meeting a boy as you were now and you wanted nothing more than for him to turn out to be the person you imagined him to be. Another problem was, of course, that you didn´t have the slightest idea how you would start a conversation with him. You had never been the type to approach people just like that, especially not people who were as hot as Jihoon.

The party wasn´t until the evening and your thoughts were still circling around him like a moth searching for light. You knew you had some assignments due next week that you wanted to continue working on and so you made the conscious decision to stop letting your thoughts distract you, not until 8 at least. But it is not easy to lure a moth away from light; some would argue that it is sheer impossible.

You were finished with your art history homework at about 5. Somewhere far in the back of your head your mind tried to remind you of the portrait assignment which would have to be finished in a week.  You knew the assignment would make up 30 percent of your grade and you didn´t even know who you wanted to draw yet…But you really did not want to think about that right now. A certain person seemed much more important at the moment. Also you still needed to pick an outfit for the party.

As you stood in front of your wardrobe, you suddenly had to giggle. The situation, you were in, reminded you a bit too much of one of those overly cheesy, almost ridiculous romantic movies. Of course the poor innocent girl didn´t know what to wear to the party her crush was at. Because you absolutely did not want to fuel the cliché any further, you quickly decided to put on simple black pants and a t-shirt you really liked. Finding a suitable outfit wasn’t too difficult, you thought.

Maybe it really was because your pants seemed to be a bit scratchy, or maybe it was because you had looked at yourself in the mirror once too often and had noticed that the back pockets of your pants were making your butt look weird. Whatever the reason for your decision, you changed your black pants for a pair of jeans in the last moment. Possibly, some of those cliché movie scenes were not as unrealistic as you had thought.

Jo: I´m here! I´m waiting downstairs.

You: I´m coming.

Downstairs you hugged briefly to greet each other. “You look pretty! Is all this for Jihoon?” “I´m only wearing regular jeans!” you replied with a smile on your face, your tone slightly outraged. “I know. I´m sorryyy. I´m just so excited already. Hansol told me some things about Jihoon and I think the two of you should marry.” She wiggled her eyebrows. “JO! I don´t even know him!” “Not yet!”

Hansol would be waiting at the party, which meant you had the ten minutes’ walk to exchange essential information. According to Jo, Jihoon was a music student just like Hansol but while Hansol had an understanding of rap and hip hop, Jihoon was considered an exceptionally talented songwriter. Hansol had apparently got to know him because they had to do a school project together last semester.

Your anticipation was now growing with every step you took. Going out was nothing unusual for you, normally you weren´t nervous or overly excited though. On a normal evening you would have met up with Jo, the two of you would have had too many sugary alcoholic beverages and then you would have danced until your feet were going to give out. Not that those normal evenings weren´t fun, but today was different. Today was different because for the first time in months you were looking forward to talking to a boy. Your heart starting beating a tiny bit faster when you could finally hear the dull music of the party that was already in progress.

“Ok, listen. I thought about it. When you see him, I think you should walk up to him and tell him that he owes you a drink because of that strawberry.” “Jo! You´re crazy! I´ll never be brave enough to do that.” “With an attitude like this you won´t…just saying. I really think you should give it a try. You can´t just hope he´ll come up to you …” You hadn´t thought about that yet. Yes of course you were aware that you might actually have to start a conversation but in all of your carefully arranged, delicately placed fantasies, it was always Jihoon who approached you. The possibility that he might not even intend starting a conversation with you was not something you had considered. A wave of anxiety swept over you. It felt like waking up in a bathtub full of cold water, which once used to be comfortingly warm when you got in. You definitely didn´t know enough about him to be invested in a hypothetical relationship that might never become reality. You needed to slow down. “You´re right. I´ll try to talk to him.” “No you´re not just gonna try. You´re going to do it.”

Hansol was waiting at the entrance. “Good evening, ladies.” He grinned. He hugged you before pulling Jo into his side and giving her a kiss on the forehead. “Let´s do this!” you smiled while trying to sound confident but you knew Jo was able to hear the pinch of uncertainty in your voice.

“I´ll go get you two something to drink.” With these words Hansol had left to find alcohol. Looking around the room you tried to orientate yourself. You have never been here before but it was obvious you were at a frat house. Hansol had mentioned some guy called Jackson Wang who apparently was the host of the party. You had never heard of him before but he was apparently really good at hosting parties, the people around you seemed to have a lot of fun.

Even though you would never have been able to admit it, not even in front of yourself, your eyes started wandering across the room searching for him. And just like in one of those exaggeratedly cheesy romantic movies, the ones you thought so little of, you discovered him immediately. He was standing far back in a corner where he was talking to some people. Yesterday you hadn´t noticed, you had probably been too busy staring at his face, but he was very small, which was funny because in the few seconds you talked to him you had found him to be quite a bit intimidating. Not in a bad way, he simply seemed to take up more space than he needed which was probably due to the way he carried himself.

“I see! You found him already,” Jo ripped you out of your thoughts. “Come on! Go over there and say hi!” “There are so many people with him. I´d rather wait a little…” “Fair enough. Then let´s go dance!” she smiled and pulled you with her onto the “dance floor”, which technically was just the living room.  A few minutes later Hansol joined you again and gave you both drinks. “I´m going over there to talk to some friends. Is that alright?” he asked directed at Jo. She just nodded and gave him a short kiss before turning back to you. You immediately downed your glass to build up a certain level of alcohol, which you wished would help you speak to him at some point. You normally did get drunk fairly easy and so you could already feel the slight effect of the alcohol in your body after the first glass. After the third one, you and Jo could finally dance unrestrainedly and even though your gaze wandered over to him every few minutes you still lost any kind of tension you were holding in your body. God bless alcohol.

“Hey I have to go to the bathroom. You coming with me?” Jo asked. “Sure.” You held onto her shirts so you wouldn´t lose each other in the crowd. Slowly you made your way through the masses of sweating, dancing bodies. The bathroom was in the back so it took you a few minutes to arrive there. Jo immediately disappeared behind the bathroom door while you waited outside. You leaned against the wall and for a second you did nothing more than just breathe. You looked up at the ceiling and took deep breaths in and out. You could feel the alcohol in your body and the cool wall on your back gently pulled you back into reality.

“You came.” The voice tore you from your state of utter peace. The music was loud, you could feel the bass in your body, everywhere people were screaming at each other to make themselves understood, the voice that had caught your attention was comparatively quiet, calm and seemed to be very close to you. You couldn´t be sure that the sentence was directed at you, still your gaze shot to the side to see where the voice was coming from. Jihoon stood close beside you, also leaning against the wall. He was smiling at you expectantly. It was similar to yesterday, right off the bat your brain started to absorb his features. Every line, every mark, every twitch of muscle, no matter how small. For a moment (which lasted far too long) you simply stared at him. Fuck, what did he say?

“Yeah..” you managed to stutter an answer just before the situation drowned in a blend of an embarrassing and awkward silence. You were still looking at him, doe eyed, not knowing how to act further. Jihoon just chuckled and in that moment you could´ve sworn it was the most beautiful sound you had ever heard in your entire life. “Why are you laughing?” you couldn´t help but grin back, his smile was contagious. “It´s just…you look cute when you don´t know what to say.” As soon as the words left his lips, your body literally catapulted itself into shock. Did he really just call you cute?? You were probably just lost in thoughts again, surely you were just daydreaming. Your eyes did not leave his face, you were certain you had misheard what he had said but his smug, maybe even a bit arrogant smirk told you otherwise. You were still lost for words. It must´ve been seconds and you still hadn´t answered…

His smile was fading a little. “Hey sorry if I overstepped any boundaries, I know we don´t know each other yet, also I´m a bit drunk.” Now it was your turn to laugh. “It´s ok. I think you´re cute too.” You had not even the faintest idea where your sudden confidence was coming from (you would probably have to thank the alcohol for it tomorrow morning). “You think I´m cute, huh?” he asked, and you couldn´t help but wonder again how he could be so fucking hot. The hands in his pockets, his collarbones peeking out slightly above his neckline, the smug smile with which he was looking at you. “So, will you let me buy you a drink?” Just as you were about to answer, Jo came out the bathroom door again. “I´m ready! Let´s…,” she stopped mid-sentence when she saw who was standing next to you. Her surprised look quickly changed into a knowing grin. “Uhm..I want to look for Hansol. Is it ok if I just…” “Don´t worry you can leave her with me. I´ll look out for her.” Jihoon chimed in with an assuring smile. Even if you were not even expected to answer, you were completely speechless. An hour earlier you had racked your brain about how you would approach him, you remembered. “What a gentleman you are. Thank you.” she responded. “Text me if you need anything. I´ll look at my phone. And wait for us to walk you home!” she added, addressed to you. In the next second she had already disappeared into the crowd. “If you don´t mind I´ll get us something to drink?” “I´d love that.”

Minutes later you were sitting on a garden bench in the backyard. On the wall of the house there were paper lanterns attached, which made wonderful little colored spots of light dance around you. That Jackson Wang really knew how to throw a party, you thought again. You could still hear the music, but the walls functioned as a shield and made it appear as if the music was coming from far away. You and Jihoon weren´t the only ones who had gone outside to have a proper conversation, many couples had found the backyard to be the perfect place to make out, intertwined they sat there and you were sure that nothing would be able to keep them away from each other in that moment. But because you were drunk, and most importantly because Jihoon was sitting right next to you, you didn´t even give them more than a second of your attention.

Jihoon sat there, legs casually spread, with one arm on the backrest. You sat (very) close to each other, much closer than you probably would have, had you not been drunk. You had one leg on the bench so it was easier for you to face him. “You´re an art student, right?” “Yup. You´re a music student? Hansol said you are a very talented song writer.” Laughing out loud, he threw his head back. You were still nervous; your heart was still clearly beating a tad too fast and you had no clue what to do with your hands. But his laughter was contagious and his voice was soothing and so full of ease that all your nervousness was slowly guided out of your body. “Did he? I mean, he´s not wrong. I do indeed love writing songs, and I suppose I´m not too bad at it. Not sure I would call myself very talented though.” “Oh so humble.” You grinned. “Would you call yourself a very talented artist?” “No, I guess I wouldn´t. I´m not even sure I´m talented. Maybe I just love art. I think drawing the line between talent and just being hard-working is not always easy. That´s of course because talent and being hard-working are not mutually exclusive. You can be talented and hard working. That´s why I think it´s not always easy to detect talent.” Jihoon just looked at you, his face twisted into a slight smile. Why didn´t he say anything? “What?” you asked with a hint of shakiness in your voice. “It´s just…I think this was one of the smartest things I´ve ever heard a drunk person say.” Your eyes became big and suddenly your nervousness was back again. “I´m not that drunk!” “It was still smart.” You did not know what to say to that. You just looked at him and for a few seconds, neither you nor he said anything. But it wasn´t an awkward silence that begged to be broken, so the two of you just sat there, staring at each other.

“So tell me, what do you like to draw?” And you told him everything. About your obsession with peonies, about how you loved to draw old people because every single wrinkle, every scar seemed to tell so many stories. You told him about how you got off the bus three stops too early last summer just to paint a field of poppies, you told him how you once won an art contest in elementary school with a drawing of a hedgehog, that you didn´t even like. And you told him about how your mom had cried when you got accepted to art school because she was just so proud of you. While you were talking he listened attentively. And if you weren´t so immersed in your narration, if you were a little less drunk, you would´ve probably noticed the way he looked at you. Not once did he take his eyes off your face. When you were finished he told you about music. He told you how writing songs soothed him like nothing else. He told you how satisfying it was for him to finally finish a song. He told you how much he loved to sing and about that one night a few years ago the neighbors called the cops on him because he was singing too loudly in the middle of the night. You listened to every single word he said and if he wasn´t so immersed in his narration, if he was a little less drunk, he would´ve probably noticed the way you looked at him. Not once did you take your eyes off his face.

The buzzing of your phone ripped you out of your thoughts.

Jo: Hey, we´re about to go home. Are you ok? I don´t want you to walk home alone…

Fuck. You had totally forgotten the time. It was already 2 am. Jihoon saw you looking at your phone. “Is everything ok?” “Yeah, it´s just…I should probably go. My friend is leaving and she wants to walk me home.” “And what if I walked you home?" “You would do that?” “I just kept you from having fun with your friend the entire evening. I think I even owe you to walk you home.” He chuckled. You felt your cheeks flush. “I did have fun with you though.” “I´m very glad to hear that.” “And you´d really walk me home?” “Sweetie, it would be my pleasure.” he smirked. Sweetie. You definitely were not prepared for the pet name. All of a sudden your heart was beating so fast, you thought it would jump out of your chest. Your cheeks, rosy before, suddenly felt incredibly hot. “Thank you.” You answered, relieved after you noticed your voice didn´t leave you hanging.

You: I´m ok! Jihoon is going to walk me home. You don´t have to wait for me!

Jo: Use condoms!

You snorted and suppressed a laugh. Jihoon looked at you, his eyebrows slightly raised. “Sorry, my friend just texted something funny.” “What did she say?” Your heart seemed to have stopped beating for a moment. You didn´t think he´d ask that. “I, uh…nothing…she just…” you stammered. He laughed while never taking his eyes off you. “It´s ok. You don´t have to tell me.” “It´s just…” you tried to explain but instead you buried your face in your hands. This was so embarrassing! You didn´t know what reaction you expected from Jihoon, probably there wouldn´t have been anything to improve your situation anyway, but his low chuckle definitely made it worse. “I make you nervous, huh?” Your heart was still beating so fast and your cheeks had to be deep red by now and as much as you tried; you didn´t manage to look him in the eye again. So you just nodded. “Come on. Let´s walk for a bit.”

He stood up and stretched out his hand to pull you on your feet, which would not have been necessary, but you enjoyed the touching of your hands. It was the first time you touched each other on purpose. And even though it was only your hands that touched, you couldn´t help but feel more and more attracted to him. He didn´t let go of your hand, pressed it even more firmly and then gently pulled you past the left over party guests. Out of the front door, you just kept walking, your hand still in his. “Where do you live?” He sounded calm, relaxed and you knew you would be happy to hear nothing else than his voice for the rest of your days. “Basically on the other side of the campus. It´s a ten minutes ‘walk.” “Alright.”

And then the two of you walked, holding hands, side by side, so close other people would´ve thought you were a couple. Neither of you said anything for a few minutes. As before, the silence was not unpleasant at all, you simply enjoyed each other´s presence. Also, your heart finally had the opportunity to return to a normal pace, and the evening air cooled your cheeks. “I would love to see you again.” He underpinned his statement with a slight squeezing of your hand. You looked at him; he was focused on the walk, so you granted yourself a second to stare at him. He really was just so beautiful. The hair that gently fell in his face, his cheekbones, his neck. “I want to see you again too.” “You have to show me some of your drawings. Especially that one hedgehog drawing you were speaking of.” “Jihoon! I was 8 when I drew that and I didn´t even like it!” you made your voice sound playfully outraged. He couldn´t help but smile, his whole face lit up after hearing you say his name. He could definitely get used to that. “I bet it´s still good.” “No it´s not. But I can show you some other drawings.” “Guess I´ll have to settle for that.” He grinned. “Yes! And I want to hear some of your songs and you have to sing for me!” you said self-confidently. Your nervousness had completely disappeared from your body and had given way to a pleasant tension. “Deal.”

“This is me” you said as you came to a stop outside your building. He let go of your hand, the warmth leaving your palm empty, you wanted nothing more than to grab his hand again. A second later he had pulled his phone out of his pocket and held it out to you. “Here, type in your number.” You complied and gave it back to him. “Text me when you get home?” you asked shyly. “I promise.” And then came the moment, the moment in romance movies every viewer awaited eagerly, the moment you two should´ve kissed, or at least hugged. But you didn´t. Both of you were so absorbed in each other that neither one of you dared, nor even thought of making the first step. “Goodnight, Jihoon.” “Goodnight, Y/n.” And with that he left. You looked after him for a moment. Hell, even the way he walked was sexy.

Back in your apartment, you pushed your shoes off your feet just to fall into bed right after. You doubted that your remaining strength would be enough to change into your pajamas. Your body was so tired, but your mind was awake. Endorphins seemed to have decided to simply continue the party in your stomach. You were just lying there, arms outstretched, staring at the ceiling with a grin.

After, what had to be about 15 minutes, you heard your phone buzz. Never before had you reached for your phone so quickly.

Unknown: I just got home. Goodnight, Sweetie. Don´t forget to drink lots of water!

You read the message and you didn´t know it was possible, but your grin got even wider. Your phone pressed to your chest, your clothes still on, you started drifting off to sleep. You would just text him back, and save his contact in the morning, you thought. And with that, your body fell into a pleasant sleep.

The memories of your dream had slipped away the second your alarm went off. The excessively shrill, piercing tone you had set for your alarm used to get you into a lot of fights with your brother when you were still living at home, because “What the fuck is that sound? Can´t you just use that weird guitar riff like any other fucking normal person?” Although you did always feel a tiny bit of pity for your brother and knew that he had a point (you would of course never admit that), you never changed the sound. You surely were not fond of it yourself but you needed something to pull you out of your sleep.

Even before you started attending university you were used to staying up late. Undeniably, staying up late was and will never be a healthy way to treat your body, you are very much aware of that. Your body wanting to sleep for seven maybe even eight hours was something you have always considered the cruelest inconvenience, the most ridiculous joke, the crudest rule the universe has set for you. Late at night was the time it was the easiest for you to pour all your thoughts, all the inspirations you had collected during the day into your drawings. How were you supposed to bend all your whirls of ideas into drawings if your body was basically screaming at you to finally go to bed? How presumptuous of your body to expect you to fulfill his basic needs.

But no matter how tired you were you nearly never managed to fall asleep before one in the morning which made you resort to the drastic measure of changing your alarm sound to said very shrill tone. After sometimes only four hours of sleep, your body was not willing to let you jump out of bed as simple as that.  One could say the fatigue almost holds you captive every morning until around nine am when you normally start to free yourself from the clutches of your own tired body.

Yesterday you unintentionally set the aforementioned alarm an hour too late which had led to you now having to rush to the lecture hall. Your art history class would be starting in three minutes and you needed at least another five to even get to the entrance door. Despite having had to open the music app on your phone just to select a completely different album until you could finally pick your desired song, you were sure you didn´t lose more than a few seconds. Now accompanied by an uplifting song (not too uplifting though because it was still only eight in the morning which was definitively too early for upbeat music) and the tapping of your shoes on the asphalt you were practically running to your destination.

The moment you finally reached the entrance door a wave of relieve swept over you. Your lecture had only started two minutes ago, which wasn´t too bad. You hurried down the hallway and slipped quickly through the door. Your eyes darted to the front to see if the professor had already started the class. Luckily for you she was still setting up the projector for her visual presentation.  While you tried to breathe calmly, which turned out to be quite a challenge after you had just crossed the entire campus in record time; you were looking for a free seat in the back. But this was an art history class. At eight in the morning. Nothing like an art history class before ten guarantees such an absurdly small amount of participating students. It was not difficult for you to find a free seat. (To be precise: you caught sight of more than twenty free seats.)

Seeing how many of your fellow students had deemed this class as “not worthy waking up for” you suddenly felt a bit insecure and ridiculous. You hated to miss class, even if it was art history. You knew that by simply listening to the professor you would already internalize some of the information. That meant you wouldn´t have to study as much at home anymore which meant you had more time for your drawings. Simple equation. Nevertheless you were feeling like the biggest nerd sitting in a half empty lecture hall with five other students.

Shaking your head slightly as if to get those unnecessary thoughts out of your brain you decided that it wouldn´t do you any good to continue thinking about your situation, so you simply took out your notebook and a pen to prepare yourself for the lecture. Four minutes after the professor had started speaking, your thoughts were already drifting off and your notebook got slowly filled with small doodles instead of the notes you were supposed to be taking.

Putting your things back into your bag you looked at your phone to check the time. It was 10 am. The professor´s voice long condemned to a pleasant background noise, you had spent the last two hours dozing and scribbling in your notebook. You hadn´t had breakfast and you were not hungry but you knew that giving your body some fuel in form of food would be the right thing to do right now. It was Friday and you knew your friend Jo did have morning classes just like you, so you decided to shoot her a message.

You: Hey wanna get breakfast?

You already felt your phone buzz after you left the lecture hall.

Jo: Sure! I´ll wait at the cafeteria.

Happy that you wouldn´t have to eat alone you grinned at your phone and started walking towards your friend. Entering the cafeteria you saw Jo waving while sitting at one of those big tables on the side. You shot her a smile and made your way over. With an overdramatic sigh you slumped down in the chair opposite of her.

“Was art history that bad?” she chuckled. “Honestly? I was just too tired to pay attention. I will never understand why classes that early even exist... It´s inhuman.” you retorted while shaking your head to emphasize your point. “Pretty sure some really sick sadistic psychopath invented morning classes.” She laughed but you knew she hated to get up early just as much as you. “Does Hansol not have class this morning?”

Hansol had been Jo´s boyfriend for a few months now. It´s definitely not that you are one of those girls who are obsessed with finding a boyfriend, haunted by the mission to find a pretty boy to post pretty Instagram pictures with, but Jo and Hansol´s relationship was kind of perfect, or so it seemed to the public eye and even though you (most certainly) were not one those girls, you couldn´t help but feel a bit jealous. Jo was one of your best friends and you were aware that their relationship wasn´t always ideal. They had smaller and sometimes bigger fights, like any other couple but they both were as happy as you had ever seen them and they supported each other unconditionally. When they got together you were scared you´d feel excluded when the three of you would hang out but Hansol turned out to be a total sweetheart (there really was no other way to describe him) who made sure you never felt left out.

“He does. He just was too lazy to get up today.” She shrugged. “You want pancakes? I´ll go get the food.” “Sure!” Fifteen minutes later both of you were not hungry anymore. “I didn´t even realize how hungry I was.” “I only ever realize how hungry I am when I start eating.” you agreed. “I totally forgot to ask you but did you already start drawing that portrait assignment?” “Don´t even remind me. I still have no idea who I´m going to draw. I don´t just want to draw some random celebrity. Everyone is going to do that and I really want it to be good.” “Yeah…but not everyone will be doing it as good as you. But like, have you thought about asking someone to model for you?” “Jo, are you indicating you want to be my muse?” you laughed with her tuning in right away. The mental image of her posing for you was more than just ridiculous. Just as she was about to answer, a boy interrupted the two of you. “You´re Hansol´s girlfriend right?” he asked her.

You had seen him passing you on the hallway before but until now he had never caught your eye. One look was enough for you to realize how pretty he actually was. Just like a mathematician who recognizes numbers everywhere with which they can explain mundane processes, just like a linguist who notices every subtlety of every single word and could distinguish the hidden delicate messages between each syllable, just like that you saw lines, strokes, patterns in the most varied and vivid colors that joined together in your imagination to form drawings and paintings in every place. You could be looking at any flower and the way the petals bent, the way the leaves curled around the stem would just make sense to you. That´s how you were looking at that boy´s face right now. His face seemed to consist out of tender drawn lines that intervened at the perfect spots. His eyes, his nose, his mouth that was slightly twisted upwards into a smile, everything just fit so wonderfully together you inevitably had to think about how amazing it would be to draw him.

“Yup, that´s me.” Jo´s voice had yanked you back out of your thoughts. “Me and Hansol have a class together. I forgot I still had one of his books and I think he needs it to study for that exam next week. Can I just leave it with you?”   He was holding out a book to her. “Sure! That´s really sweet of you, looking out for him like that.” With a comically exaggerated gesture he bowed before us. “The pleasure was all mine,” He grinned. “I´m Jihoon by the way.” “I´m Jo and this is Y/N.” Only now he turned his upper body and finally looked at you. You felt like a deer caught in the headlights. Maybe it was just your imagination, caused by the desire to be noticed by this undoubtedly (really fucking) attractive boy, but his gaze seemed to have remained on you for a tiny second too long for it to be considered normal.

“Delighted to meet you guys.” he stated with a childlike smile on his face which made his eyes disappear. “There´s this party tomorrow. Hansol said he´s coming. You two should come as well.” “We´ll think about it! Sounds like fun though.” Jo answered for the both of you. “Perfect! I should get going. I have class in a bit.” His gaze was turned back onto you. “You´re still going to eat that?” “Wha…What?” “That strawberry. You´re not going to eat that?” Only then you realized you had left a single strawberry on your plate. “No..you can have it.” You stuttered your reply, your eyes wide from embarrassment because you hadn´t immediately figured what he had meant. He picked up the strawberry and took a bite. “Thanks!” he grinned. And then he winked at you. Just like that. Without warning. Promptly you could feel your cheeks turn slightly red and you wanted nothing more than to hide your face in your hands but at the same time you could still not stop staring at his face. In that moment you would´ve sworn that wink was the cutest (but somehow also hottest) thing you had ever seen in your life. “See you at the party!” with that he turned away from you and made his way over to the exit.

Only now your cheeks slowly lost color and your breath seemed to slow down again. You looked at Jo. She looked at you. You didn´t have to say anything , she had already deciphered you. “So you think he´s hot?” she beamed. “So fucking hot.”

What you couldn´t have seen, of course, was the smile with which Jihoon had left the room. What else was he supposed to do when you were that damn cute?