hospital wifi isn't free

PSA to anyone going to any doctor.

Like, this is a legal thing, although I can’t speak for everywhere, obviously.

Body acceptance is often more complex than just “loving your body.” It’s become really easy for healthy people (especially “body positive” feminists) to say “Love your body!” and leave it at that, but as anyone with a chronic illness will tell you, it can be downright difficult to love a body that makes you sick or actively causes you pain. Loving your body is a great goal, and while it’s great to see more women striving for it, such rhetoric often leaves people—and women—with disabilities, chronic illnesses and pain out because our bodies are already portrayed as not “normal” or beautiful enough to be worth loving, or even accepting! Loving your body on days when it confines you to bed seems counter-intuitive, and for some folks with chronic pain, it’s just not going to happen. By contrast, body acceptance can be a process of meeting your body where it is, and striving to be okay with a chronically ill body—even on bad days.

“How can I support you?” is a question that works in almost every situation imaginable. It preempts judgement and assumptions while oozing humility. Often the person won’t have an immediate answer—likely because they aren’t used to being asked a question that’s about what they actually need as a unique human being. If they look stunned, I suggest something like: “It’s OK if you don’t have an answer or don’t need anything right now; the offer’s open for whenever. Just let me know.” And then use an emoji of some sort or make a face that conveys warmth so they know you mean it. (This could be a unicorn, the two señoritas dancing, or the smiling poo. Up to you.)  *Here’s the fine print: you have to believe their answer, whatever it is. If they tell you they don’t need anything, you don’t get to push or pressure or demand they give you something to do so you feel less helpless. Remember, this isn’t about you.

Confession #347