the sun shines for all of us

Alex helps him with the mess, his fingers clutching a bottle of lube. 

“I’ve been getting so acquainted with this these last few weeks,” Alex laughs.

“Yes, and I think we’ll successfully manage to teach you an appropriate amount to use. That night in New York, you used a lot.”

Alex cringes a bit.

“I was scared of hurting you. I didn’t mean to go overboard.”

Henry smiles softly and cups Alex’s face, searching his eyes.

“That’s sweet, Alex, and it’s good to be cautious. I appreciate you looking out for me. I really do,” he says sincerely, lowering his hand. “Having a considerate partner is crucial. That’s going to go a long way for the guys you’re with.”

Alex smiles a little and Henry is happy to see his words are able to reassure him.

“May I ask something personal?”

Alex’s brows furrow and he scratches his chin.

“Um, yeah.”

“Have you ever fingered yourself?”

Alex blushes and shakes his head.

“Never got up the courage to. After my big revelation or whatever, I thought about it. You know, what it’d be like to have someone inside me whether it be their fingers or their dick,” he says, shrugging. “It was enough just to fantasize about it. I’ve gotten off thinking about it, but haven’t been able to bring myself to test it firsthand, no.”

Henry nods. “I can understand that. But, if you’re ever able to stop psyching yourself out, I would recommend it. Aside from it simply just feeling good,” he muses, “it’s also a great way to become familiar with your body and potential future partners too. You’ll be better equipped when the time comes to hit the right spot.”

Alex’s brows furrow. “You mean, the prostate?

Henry nods. “Exactly, yes. It might take some prodding, but that’s what you’re looking for. It’ll feel like a little bump.”

Alex seems to digest this information.

“So, you…you do it yourself then sometimes?”

Henry smiles and nods. “Yes, I do. I don’t stop with just my fingers either. Toys can be fun too.”

Alex blinks twice.

“I haven’t even thought about that yet.”

Henry laughs. “Maybe one day I’ll give you an advanced course. For now, we’ll stick to the basics.” He hesitates for a moment. “Before the tour is over, perhaps I can do it to you, if you’d like.”

Alex nods and Henry watches the change in the rise and fall of Alex’s chest, how much deeper he's breathing.

“Definitely. I want that at some point.”

Alex purses his lips. “Would you just stop there?”

Henry raises a brow in question. Alex sighs.

“I mean, I guess what I’m asking is if you’d be up for, you know, screwing me after you opened me up one day.”

Henry pulls in a breath. The thought has crossed his mind far too many times for Henry to count or to ever openly admit to. He simply nods.

“I’d love to, so long as you’d be interested.”

“More than interested, Hen. I want to work up to that. I want you to fuck me.”

Henry’s jaw clenches as a tugging sensation unfurls in the pit of his stomach. He’d take Alex right now, if the timing were right.

“I promise. We’ll make it happen in the next few weeks.”

Between Alex’s stunned expression and the overwhelming feeling of anticipation now coursing through his veins, Henry isn’t sure which one of them is more eager for that day to come.

Henry smiles and pats Alex’s knee. 

“We still have a bit of time before you have to go. Would you maybe like a lesson?” he asks, tapping the bottle still in Alex’s hand as he climbs into bed.

Alex’s eyes rake over Henry’s body, nodding all the while. 

“I want you to work on your pacing and overall technique when fingering. I also want you to find my prostate. See if you can make me come,” Henry says.

Alex looks a bit unsure of himself.

“You’ve got this. I’m right here,” Henry coaxes. “I’ll talk you through it and answer any questions you might have. This is all just practice. Don’t worry.”

Alex squares his shoulders and nods again.

“Yeah, alright.”

Henry gives him a reassuring smile before undressing. He’ll never grow tired of the way Alex looks at him. Henry holds his gaze as he spreads his legs and pushes them back, feet pressed firmly against the bed, hands on his knees.

A glorious blush blooms above the collar of Alex’s shirt and up his neck as he licks his lips and flicks open the lid. He squeezes a bit onto his fingertips, angling his hand so Henry can see.

“Is that good?”

Henry nods. “Perfect, yeah.”

Reassured, Alex looks more confident as he lowers his hand and applies the substance to Henry’s entrance. His touch is light and yet it’s as if Henry can feel him in every part of his body. He hadn’t realized just how keyed up he’s been for this. 

He clenches his jaw and breathes sharply through his nose. Alex must notice as he stops immediately.

“Shit, did I do something wrong?”

Henry shakes his head. “No, love. The exact opposite. Keep going.”

Alex searches his face before continuing. “I think you’re covered pretty well.”

Henry smiles. “Next step now is to open me up.”

The words seem to both terrify and intrigue Alex. He sets the pad of his thumb against Henry and rubs him in a circular motion. Henry sighs, relaxing his body further, stretching out against the bed and pillows. He watches Alex, takes in the look of pure concentration on his face, but also the wonder too as studies the way Henry’s body responds to him. Alex curses under his breath and looks up at Henry, smiling.

Henry is glad to see Alex allowing himself the full experience of this. That first night was so rushed and frantic, Alex was just going through the motions and not savoring any of it. Today, Henry is keen on giving him an entirely different encounter.

“I think…you might be ready. At least for one finger,” Alex says.

Henry nods. “I’d say so too.”

Alex swallows hard and takes a breath before swapping the motion of his thumb for gingerly sliding his index finger in. His face flushes and Henry’s does too as his walls cinch around Alex. He bites back on his lower lip. Alex freezes and looks up at him.

“I don’t want to hurt you,” Alex says. “It feels tight.”

“That’s okay. That’s perfectly normal,” Henry assures. “Just go slowly. I promise, it’ll be alright. I’ll tell you if it’s not.”

Alex searches his eyes and nods. He pumps his finger slowly, his free hand resting on Henry’s inner thigh. Alex’s eyes are trained on what he’s doing. It’s a bit fascinating to watch him work. Henry’s body relaxes more and more at the intrusion and the tension in Alex’s brow lessens too. His finger works into Henry with far more ease though his pattern is a bit too repetitive.

“Don’t just set rhythm. Change the tempo and angle every now and then,” Henry reminds him.

Alex blushes a bit, but he heeds Henry’s words. Instead of a standard in-out, he switches up his pumps. Henry exhales softly as his body syncs to it.

“You could take another,” Alex says, looking down at his rim before glancing up at him.

Henry moans. “I need it.”

Alex curses and removes his hand for a moment, adding just a drop more of lube to his fingertips before sliding them home inside Henry carefully. He resumes his pumps with his index and middle fingers, switching it up every now and then. His free hand rubs small, soothing circles against Henry’s thigh. Alex seems far more confident now as he quickens his pace, falling into tune with Henry’s body and anticipating what he needs.

“That’s it, darling. Oh, my god,” Henry rasps.

His eyes flutter shut as Alex works his fingers in and out of him, angling his hand in different directions. Henry hums in approval, letting out a gasp as Alex’s fingertips nudge against his prostate.

“Did you feel that?” Henry asks.

“Shit, yeah,” Alex says, perking up a bit. 

“That’s right where you want to focus on ultimately. You can taunt and tease, drag things out with your partner as much as you guys would like, but in the end, that’s what will push them over the edge each and every time.”

Alex strokes his fingers against his prostate experimentally. Henry whimpers, body shuddering. Alex does it again, lightly teasing him. Henry writhes against the bed, completely at his mercy.

“So hot,” Alex says to himself before looking Henry in the eyes. “Can I touch you even more?” 

Henry almost laughs hysterically. How could that even be up for question?

“Please. I want to feel you everywhere I possibly can. I need you, Alex.”

Alex licks his lips, his free hand wrapping around Henry’s cock at once. Henry’s mouth falls open as Alex begins to jerk him off. Henry grabs helplessly at the sheets.

Alex adds a third finger when Henry is wide enough to take it and he thrusts his hand forward. Henry bucks his hips to meet each return. Alex’s other hand is steady on his cock, teasing his slit. Under his arousal is deep pride in seeing how well Alex is applying everything they’ve been covering over the last few weeks.

Alex’s fingers curl inside him, pressing directly on his prostate. Henry cries out, his back arching off the bed as Alex continues to work him over. Henry tugs at the bedding again, a hand reaching back against the wall, scrambling for purchase desperately trying to find something to ground him.

“You’re so sexy like this,” Alex says. “I can tell how badly you want it. How badly you need me to be the one touching you. You’re so desperate for it, baby, my god.”

Henry’s mouth hangs open at his words. It’s the absolute truth.

“You’re incredible, Alex,” he hiccups. “You make me feel...God, I can’t—,” he cuts off and curses, undignified but with little care as his resolve breaks. He gives in to the sensations coursing through him from all sides.

He moans Alex’s name over and over as he comes, begging him not to stop. The man doesn’t. Alex’s fingers press more firmly against that particular spot as his other hand pumps feverishly over his cock. Henry keeps jerking his body forward, chasing the high that is Alex Claremont-Diaz pleasuring him into oblivion.

His eyes are watering, his heart slamming erratically, his breathing ragged by the time his body works through the rising tide washing over him.

Alex removes his hands and all Henry can do is flop back feeling absolutely boneless against the bed, practically seeing stars. He can’t think. His mind is utter mush, his body buzzing. He only has enough energy to turn his head towards Alex’s voice as he speaks.

“That’s how our first night should have gone,” Alex says, settling in beside him.

Henry’s face feels sweaty and he’d bet good money he looks completely wrecked, but Alex’s gaze makes him feel like the most attractive man on Earth. 

“I can’t even tell you how good it feels to know what it sounds like when you come for real.” Alex smiles to himself. “I swear there’s no greater sound in the world than hearing you moan my name like that.” 

Alex leans in and kisses him softly. Henry wants more, but he can’t even speak. He’s too spent, too stunned. Alex is an incredibly quick study and this swagger he possesses in the bedroom is such a turn on.

Alex brushes his nose against Henry’s, his breath soft against his face.

“If I can make you lose it like that with my fingers, just imagine the things I could make you feel when I’m buried inside you,” he says, placing a kiss on his lips again. “When you’re riding my cock, taking every inch of me.” Alex searches his eyes, cupping his cheek and brushing his skin with the side of his thumb.

It’s so soft and in such sharp contrast to the words he’s saying. 

“That’s what you want, isn’t it? For me to fuck you right next time?”

He kisses Henry again, deeper this time. Henry whimpers into his mouth as Alex runs a hand down his back and his ass.

“I’d get you coming in no time, begging for more like the needy good boy that you are.”

“Christ, Alex,” Henry rasps, his body trembling at the mere thought.

Alex gets up just then and Henry wishes he had the strength to protest. All he wants to do now is crawl into Alex’s side and stay burrowed there forever. To have this man pleasure him until the end of time, to make good on the images he’s just planted in his head.

When Alex returns, it’s with a wet cloth that he uses to clean Henry up.

“I fear I may have created a monster with you,” Henry says. His voice sounds different in his own ears. Yet another thing Alex is responsible for wrecking.

Alex smiles as he wipes Henry’s stomach.

“I’d apologize, but I’m too busy mentally patting myself on the back. I don’t know, I feel oddly…proud.”

“You should. I don’t mean to sound patronizing, but I’m impressed. These last few weeks, you’ve been crushing it. You’ve come a long way since the night we met. I soon won’t have anything more to teach you. Then again, my time on the tour will be coming to an end soon anyway and you won’t need me.”

Something almost sad passes in Alex’s eyes.

“Henry, we’ve never–”

Whatever Alex is about to say gets interrupted as Henry’s phone vibrates from its place on the nightstand where he left it to charge.

Henry takes a glance at the screen and bolts upright, unplugging the phone and holding it up for Alex to see Zahra’s name flashing across the screen.

He quickly answers, suddenly very aware of the fact that he’s naked. He fishes around for his underwear as he greets her.

“Hi, Zahra. How are you?” he asks as he finally finds his boxer briefs and slips them on.

“I’m fine, thanks. I tried calling Alex, but he didn’t answer. Is everything alright?” Zahra asked. “Don’t tell me he went off someplace last night.”

“No, no. He’s right here with me, actually. He must have his phone on silent or something.”

Henry puts Zahra on speaker.

“Oh, good, you’re together,” she says, her voice ringing so clearly it’s as if she’s physically in the room with them. A terrifying thought, all things considered.

“Hey, Z,” Alex says. “Where’s the fire?”

“No fire. I have good news for you both. Your editor is very pleased with these preliminary pages. Whatever the hell you two are doing, keep it up.”

Henry and Alex exchange a glance over the phone, both biting back laughs.

“Anyway, that’s all I needed to say and I just wanted to check in, see how things are going on the road.”

“We’re all good. Henry and I are thick as thieves.”

“That’s not the comfort you think it is. I hope you aren’t corrupting him, Alex.”

“Nope, the opposite really. I’m learning so much from the guy. You wouldn’t believe it.”

Henry playfully shoves Alex who sticks out his tongue and winks.

“You’re being weird, but I don’t care enough to find out why.” She pauses. “Okay, I have to run, but keep up the good work. If you all need anything, you know how to reach me.”

She doesn’t offer an actual goodbye; the line goes dead before they can say anything further.

“On a scale of one to nuclear, how badly do you think she’d react if she knew she just gave us further license to keep screwing around?” Alex asks.

Henry taps a finger to the corner of his mouth. “I’m thinking…Earth shattering. Complete annihilation. Total extinction.”

Alex smirks. “Is it bad that that just excites me more?” he asks, moving closer into Henry’s personal space.

Henry’s reaction to him is instant, his pulse quickening.

“I wish you wouldn’t get so hot and bothered when we’ve literally no time for me to make good on it. You start the junket in literally,” he glances at the phone for the time, “sixteen minutes.”

Alex’s eyes glint mischievously, their lips mere centimeters apart.

“Haven’t you been saying all along that anticipation is what makes things hotter?”

Henry can’t help it; his body pitches forward on its own accord, but Alex laughs wickedly as he slips out of bed and stands. Henry pouts like a petulant child. Alex takes mercy on him, slipping a hand into his hair and kissing him deeply for a moment before he turns to go.

Henry watches him head for the door, wishing foolishly that he could follow. 

Alex pauses at the door and looks back at him, biting on his lower lip. Henry can only imagine the sight he must be with disheveled hair, naked among sex mussed sheets. He hopes it’s a tempting view for Alex, one that will make him want to return to Henry’s room the second his interviews are done. 

Alex takes a breath and squares his shoulders.

“To be continued.”

“I’m holding you to that.”

Alex smiles, his eyes drinking Henry in. 

“When have I ever broken a promise to you?”

~*~*~

Austin, TXGreater Austin Comic Con

Henry stares up at the vast, starry sky above him and inhales deeply as his eyes close. He hears the crackle of fire in the pit where he sits in the backyard of Alex’s father’s lake house.

It’s perhaps the most serene he’s felt on this entire tour and he knows Alex feels the same. After all, nothing could ever compare to home for a man who spends so much of his life traveling to different cities across the country for months at a time.

From the moment they landed, Alex had become even more animated than usual, going on and on about all the things he wanted to show Henry. It all sounded wonderful, like particularly good content he could use for the book.

But more than that, Henry was looking forward to having a real look into the basis of Alex’s life over the next week. It was one thing to hear the stories he’d recount, but quite another to physically be in the places that held meaning to Alex, to speak firsthand with the people who shaped him.

Alex had taken him to visit his childhood home, the place that meant so much to him he’d taken to wearing its key around his neck. There, he got to see Alex’s history like a museum. The trophies he’d won for lacrosse, childhood photos that covered the walls and mantles, the very bedroom where Alex kissed a boy for the first time.

Alex shared it all with him, aided by his parents and stepfather along with June and Nora— the latter two of which had been especially keen on spilling Alex’s more embarrassing stories. 

The day had been long, but beautiful, especially as it led them here to this gorgeous setting. The others have already called it a night, but Henry and Alex, true night owls, had opted to stay out a bit longer.

“Could I tempt you with a late night stroll?” Alex asks.

Henry hums softly in assent, turning his head to the side and opening his eyes to find Alex already looking at him.

The flames reflect in his eyes, but a fire of a different kind seems to burn in their depths.

“I could be persuaded, yes.” He smiles then and takes a hold of the hand Alex extends to him as he stands.

He’s not expecting Alex to keep holding on, but he doesn’t object or pull away. Instead, Henry brushes his thumb twice against the back of Alex’s hand as Alex puts out the fire.

There’s something rather romantic about this scene though Henry does his best not to lean far heavily into such a thought as they start to walk.

“So, now that you’ve had an up close and personal view of my family, what do you think?”

Henry smiles. “I can see perfectly why you are the way that you are.”

Alex jokingly narrows his eyes. 

“I can’t tell if that’s an insult or not,” he laughs.

Henry chuckles as well. “Hardly. I only meant…you’re well-loved. You’ve got such a wonderful support system behind you. You guys are a real family, even if slightly unconventional. But it works and it’s beautiful. Not everyone has that.”

Alex’s brows furrow.

“Do you? You don’t really talk about your family. I figure there’s a reason why, so I’ve never wanted to push it.”

Henry smiles wistfully. It’s true. He’s mentioned Bea plenty of times to Alex and spoke fondly of her, naturally. But the rest of his family and the relationship he has with them has felt too messy and complicated to discuss, especially when contrasted with Alex’s family.

“Outside of Bea, I don’t get on that well with my family. My brother Philip can best be described as a stick in the mud with a stick up his arse. Then there’s the matter of my gran who is perhaps the most conservative being in the world,” he says, attempting to be somewhat diplomatic. 

From the look on Alex’s face, it’s obvious he understands the implication and doesn’t like it one bit.

“Between the two of them, it’s evident that quite literally no part of my life will ever meet their arbitrary set of standards. It made leaving home that much easier though, I can say that much.”

Alex frowns.

“What about your parents? Are you at least closer to them?”

Henry stops walking. Alex gently lets go of his hand but stays close, stepping in front of him. Henry smiles sadly at him.

“My father was the most exceptional man. He passed away a few years ago. I still miss him terribly every day.”

Alex lets out a breath.

“Henry, I’m so sorry. I shouldn't have…I’m sorry,” he says, lightly touching Henry’s cheek. Henry leans into his touch.

“It’s okay. You couldn’t have known, but thank you.” 

Alex strokes his cheek and Henry finds it within himself to continue. 

“My mother and I used to be quite close. However, since my father passed, she’s been lost in her grief, but she has been working to find her way back. It’s been rather difficult on her…on all of us. In so many ways, I feel as if I’ve lost both my parents.”

Alex leans in and kisses his other cheek, lingering for a moment before wrapping both arms around him. Henry embraces him as well.

“I wish there was something I could do,” Alex says. “I wish you didn’t have to go through this. You don’t deserve any of it.”

Henry smiles to himself and kisses Alex’s temple.

“That’s okay, love. Mum and I are still making progress even though I’m no longer home. And I’ve managed to have a pretty good life here in the States. You’re a part of that now. Thankfully so.”

It’s a damning truth, but one Henry feels comfortable in sharing. This time on the road with Alex has truly been one of the greatest experiences of his life, not just in the few years he’s been living in this country. He feels blessed to have him.

Alex pulls back and looks at him.

“You do realize this means you can never get rid of me then, right? It’s a whole If You Give a Mouse a Cookie thing going on here now. Did you have that book growing up in England? Anyway, the point is, I’m not going anywhere.”

Henry laughs. “I would never dream of getting rid of you. If anything, I’d venture to say it’s you who is now stuck with me.”

Alex takes a hold of his hand again and snorts.

“Stuck with,” he mutters. 

They resume their walk and despite the heavy nature of their talk earlier, they’re able to slip back into an easygoing atmosphere. Henry supposes it comes down to both the scenery around them and simply the power that is Alex.

They wind up close to the water’s edge and Henry thinks vaguely of weeks ago in Portland, to the awkward conversation by the pond out there that somehow led to this newfound relationship with Alex. Since meeting Alex that night in New York, his life has taken on a turn he could have never seen coming.

“Have you ever gone skinny dipping before?” Alex asks suddenly. It’s the very last thing Henry had been expecting to hear.

His head snaps to the side to look at Alex who is already reaching for the hem of his own shirt.

“Are you mad? What if someone sees us?”

Alex merely laughs as he tosses his shirt to the ground and kicks off his shoes.

“Then we’d really just be gifting them with the glorious sight of your naked body and honestly, they should thank us for such service.”

Henry huffs out a laugh and shakes his head incredulously. Alex simply undoes the button on his jeans and cocks a brow in challenge.

Henry shouldn’t take the bait. He knows it. But Alex’s ability to get under his skin and bring out his competitive side is unmatched. He refuses to let Alex best him.

Henry scoffs and quickly finds himself disrobing as well until they’re standing nude in front of each other. Alex’s eyes roam his body as they always do, his fingertips trailing along a vein in Henry’s arm and up to his shoulder.

Alex’s hand secures around the nape of his neck and Henry closes the space between them and kisses him. Alex’s fingers comb through his hair and Henry moans softly at the feel, his hips pressing to Alex’s as he grips the man’s sides. He feels breathless by the time Alex turns away and heads into the water without another word or glance.

Henry watches his figure as he goes, feeling a swell of emotion surging in his chest. The tide has been changing for some time now and tonight, it seems to be coming to the surface.

Alex cuts through the water with ease as he swims, his strong arms carrying him towards the end of the dock. Henry finally joins him, shivering as his body adjusts to the cool waters.

“I thought you were chickening out on me,” Alex says, coming closer to him.

Henry shakes his head. “I needed a moment to enjoy the view. You make for quite the sight. I’d be remiss if I didn’t savor it.”

Alex rolls his eyes, but the soft smile he tries to bite back contradicts him.

“Ever the writer.”

Here, with milky white moonlight casting them in shadows, it’s all too easy to let himself hide in this moment, to run from the reality that Alex isn’t actually his to keep even if he gets to have him now.

In this moment, they can be whatever his heart wants them to be. It’s in such violation of the terms and conditions to this agreement, but Henry cannot bring himself to come clean and wreck this.

He kisses Alex, pressing their chests together and leaning Alex against one of the dock’s posts. This night feels different and it strikes Henry then that this entire scenario is. They aren’t kissing as a means of leading into a lesson. They’re simply doing it because they want to. 

He knows, in his heart, he should call this out now and yet, as Alex holds his face and kisses him deeper, Henry won’t dare to put a stop to it. Alex wraps his legs around him and Henry holds him up, shamelessly gripping his ass and pulling him in even closer still. His lungs burn for a clean breath.

Alex pulls away only slightly, enough to look him in the eyes. There’s a question in his gaze, a sort of hesitancy or uncertainty. Fear of ruining the moment keeps Henry from asking.

He stares back as Alex’s thumb traces the curve of Henry’s bottom lip.

“I really like kissing you,” Alex says.

“The worst kept secret, darling. But I confess, I’m guilty of the same.”

Alex laughs and presses his mouth to Henry’s. Henry's hands move and tighten on Alex’s thighs as he continues to hold him up. Alex’s arms drape over Henry’s shoulders as his lips part, tongue seeking out Henry’s. Henry pours back into him, one hand moving to the small of Alex’s back.

Henry feels starved for him. It feels as if they spend hours out there under the stars, their bodies as close as humanly possible. He can feel how riled up Alex is, their direct contact making it impossible to ignore.

Henry isn’t sure how much longer he’ll be able to stave off the urge to have all of Alex.

“It’s late. We should probably get back inside,” he says softly after a while.

Alex detaches himself but brings one of Henry’s hands to his lips and kisses each fingertip.

Henry shudders and he knows it’s not because of the chilly lake. 

He stares at Alex, his heart aching the longer he looks.

God, does he love this man. The thought should scare him, but it doesn’t. It’s a truth Henry has known all along even if he hasn’t been bold enough to name it.

Alex’s face is hard to read in the dark, but he kisses Henry sweetly one last time before lacing their fingers and leading them out of the water to get dressed once more.

They return to the house and shower, begrudgingly in two different bathrooms but Henry knows it’s for the best. When he returns to the room they’re sharing, Alex is getting settled under the covers, smiling at him in greeting, hair still damp from the shower.

In some other life, Henry thinks, this would be the norm for them, ending the night together. At least for tonight, he can hold onto the domesticity of this and pretend.

Henry sets his toiletry bag back into his suitcase where it lays open in the corner of the room before pulling the comforter back and laying beside Alex who comes in close and burrows into his side immediately. Henry wraps an arm around him, his fingertips skimming down his back and along his side. Alex shivers and kisses his shoulder.

Henry feels a bit insane with how badly he wants more of this man. Being this close to him, smelling the scent of his body wash, feeling the warmth of his body, he’s not quite sure how he’ll survive the night but knows that he must.

“Can we go off script tonight?” Alex asks.

Henry peers down at him, taken aback by the question.

“I didn’t think we even had anything in mind for our stay. We’re with your family this week.”

Surely being in the same house with his entire family and best friend would be enough of a deterrent for Alex. The likelihood of someone catching them in the act was astronomically high.

Alex’s fingertips trace the dusting of hair below Henry’s navel as he places a kiss on Henry’s bare chest, his breath soft against Henry’s skin. Henry can’t help it; something stirs in the pit of his stomach, a yearning that quickly turns into an absolute need.

Willpower be damned.

Alex’s eyes flicker back up to his face.

“I can keep quiet if you can,” Alex says. 

Henry shuts his eyes and takes a cleansing breath before looking at Alex again. This man is sure to be his undoing.

“And what exactly did you envision for this evening, might I ask?”

Alex’s nimble fingers work to loosen the drawstring of Henry’s pajama bottoms.

“An extra credit project. I’d like to test myself with something, but I need your body to do it. You opened my eyes back in Minneapolis, indulged me in a fantasy I’ve had for longer than I’d like to publicly admit, even to you. I wonder if you might be willing to do that again?”

Henry thinks back to Minneapolis. That was so early on in their lessons but suddenly it hits him. He’d deviated from the outline on the second night of their stay and it led to unexpected yet pleasant terrain. He had enjoyed every second of picking Alex apart with his tongue.

From the way Alex is looking at him, it’s obvious he wants a turn in the driver’s seat now.

“Are you sure?” Henry asks.

Alex slips a hand between Henry’s legs, stroking him faintly as he brings his lips to his ear.

“Let me take care of you this time. I could be so good for you, Henry. I can make you feel the most amazing things,” he practically purrs. 

Henry grabs a handful of Alex’s ass. Alex gasps, his body trembling. There’s such naked hunger in his eyes. Henry is glad he’s not alone in that.

“Lock the door,” Henry says.

Alex grins and gets out of bed and bounds toward the door. Henry undresses himself completely by the time Alex turns back around.

Henry lays stretched out on his side, propping his head up on his hand. Alex’s eyes scan his entire body.

“How do you want me?” Henry asks.

Alex opens and closes his mouth as he meets his gaze.

“I know you’ve pictured it,” he says, quietly, trailing a fingertip slowly down his side. “You can tell me. I want this to be exactly how you want it.”

Alex takes a seat on the bed again and licks his lips. He runs a hand up one of Henry’s legs, lightly scratching at his thigh.

“It’s mostly always you on all fours, spread wide and letting me eat you out from behind,” Alex admits.

Henry doesn’t flinch.

“I like the way you think.”

Henry repositions himself just as Alex envisioned, dipping his back, putting himself shamelessly on display. He glances over his shoulder to look at Alex. The man’s mouth is agape. He reaches out a hand and runs it down the length of Henry’s spine and to his ass appraisingly. 

Henry grips the bedding to steady himself as he trembles as he looks forward again. 

“Just beautiful. Absolutely perfect in every way,” Alex says quietly. Henry feels himself blush from his chest all the way up to his face. He’s glad Alex can’t see just how much he’s affecting him already.

Alex’s palm journeys along the curve of Henry’s ass and he gives him a good, firm squeeze. Henry lets out a faint whimper.

“Don’t worry, sweetheart. I won’t leave you hanging. Not when you’re behaving so well.”

Henry sighs in relief at the words and a moment later, Alex is kissing down the length of his spine before he has both hands on Henry’s ass, spreading him open. Henry braces himself, knuckles turning white as he fists the blanket.

The first touch of Alex’s tongue against his rim is unlike anything. His eyes water at once, his whole body desperate for more.

Alex gives him just that, returning his mouth to him again. Henry lets out a shuddering breath as Alex’s tongue teases him, making small circles that drive him crazy with want.

He arches his back, his head tipping backwards. The room is warm, but Henry feels a chill run through him as Alex’s tongue suctions inside him, the muscle making a pulsing beat.

“You’re so good at this,” Henry gasps. Alex moans softly in response. 

Alex spreads him wider, his tongue burying deeper and lapping against his walls. Henry’s right hand comes away from the blanket and covers his mouth, trapping a whimper.

He lets his hand fall away again, his cock aching between his legs. He tries to reach for it, but Alex gently nudges his hand out of the way and starts stroking him instead.

Henry’s eyes roll shut as he surrenders fully to Alex, letting him take complete control of his pleasure. It feels good to let go like this, to not overthink. To simply not think at all.

His upper half feels weak and Henry slumps forward against the bed, his cheek pressed into the pillow as his ass lifts higher in the air. He feels Alex’s weight shift to accommodate the new angle. His tongue is unrelenting and Henry wouldn’t have it any other way.

He can’t recall the last time someone has done this to him and the fact that now it’s Alex of all people is simply unparalleled.

Tears streak down his face and Henry wishes more than anything that he could scream Alex’s name, let him know just how good his ministrations feel. But having to stay quiet, to take attention this good in silence like this only turns him on more.

He rolls his hips backwards, shamelessly riding Alex’s tongue. He bites his bottom lip raw in the effort to keep from crying out. He reaches a hand back, grabbing a fistful of Alex’s hair as he fucks his tongue the second he strikes him just right.

“Shit,” he hisses softly. “You’ve got it, Alex. Don’t stop. Right there,” he coaxes, his voice a hoarse whisper.

He shivers, grinding back as Alex jerks him off in the same tempo as his tongue. The simultaneous moves break the dam and Henry’s eyes shut tight as he stays quiet through his orgasm. He grips Alex’s hair tighter, his other hand resting on top of Alex’s as the man squeezes his cock and strokes him, eking out every last drop.

Henry’s whole body is drained and he falls forward a bit. Alex’s arms circle him and hold him close, his body curving around Henry’s.

“H, are you okay?” Alex whispers in his ear, concern bleeding into his words. “Talk to me.”

Henry nods, catching his breath. 

“I’m good. I’m okay. I’m more than that,” he says. “This was just what I needed. It’s been ages since someone’s…,” he sighs, realizing he’s rambling. “You were perfect, Alex. Unbelievably perfect.”

He turns his face enough to capture Alex’s lips, not at all put off by where they’ve just been. If anything, it just fuels him more.

He’s breathless, but he kisses Alex greedily, needing him close still.

“Can I return the favor?” he asks after a moment.

Alex chuckles lightly in his ear. 

“As much as I would love that, and believe me, I would. It won’t be necessary. I, uh, kinda came in my pants? I haven’t done that since freshman year of high school so congrats on this crowning achievement,” he says, laughter still in his voice. “But man, watching you finish…there’s nothing else like it. I could play that on a loop forever.”

Henry searches his face and kisses him again, fully swiveling in his arms so they’re completely face to face once more. He hooks a leg over Alex’s hip, tangling his fingers in his curls.

Alex smiles at him.

“I’m never gonna be able to look at this room the same way,” Alex says, holding onto his wrist. “Pretty sure the bed is going to feel empty the next time I’m here without you.”

Henry’s heart sinks a little at the thought. He’s a footnote in this story. He’s known that from the start.

“I guess I’ll just have to leave you a ton of good memories to tide you over then,” he says.

Alex’s eyes drift to his lips and back to his eyes.

Henry’s phone buzzes in his pocket as he and Pez visit different vendors in Artist Alley where creatives sell their custom made pieces. He takes a look at the screen and sees a text from Alex.

Alex everything going well with you and pez?

Henry smiles and notes the time. There’s still thirty minutes before Alex’s panel and having the experience firsthand, he can just imagine Alex behind the scenes, keeping busy to work out his excited energy.

Henry Indeed. Would it be alright if I brought him round to meet you now? Or would after be better?

Alex now pls!

“We’re being summoned,” Henry says, pocketing his phone again. 

Pez doesn’t need any more prompting and Henry leads them through the crowds to get to the hall Alex’s panel is being held. He’s surprised but pleased to find Alex already waiting for them by a private set of doors. Henry’s heart does a funny little swoop seeing Alex standing there, greeting them with a smile.

“Alex. I wanted you to meet Pez.”

Alex beams his thousand-watt smile at Pez.

“I feel like I already know you. Henry talks about you all the time. Nothing but good things, I promise,” he says.

Pez looks more and more like the Cheshire Cat as his smile overtakes his face.

“Alex Claremont-Diaz, as I live and breathe,” Pez says in a scarily good Southern debutante accent.

“You’ll have to forgive Pez. He has consumed far too much American media from the time he was a small, impressionable child. I fear the damage cannot be undone.”

Alex laughs. “It’s paid off pretty well. That sounded authentic as hell. You could give me a run for my money.”

Pez, unshakable formidable Pez, actually giggles at the compliment.

“You’re a charmer. Go on now. Keep saying more nice things. I won’t object.”

Henry watches them go, riffing off each other as if they’ve known each other forever. It feels like Henry has entered into an alternate universe of some kind, watching his worlds collide.

“I’m sure you guys must’ve made plans, but if you’re interested, I’d love to take y’all out for dinner tonight,” Alex says.

Pez’s eyes light up. “I’m sure we could shuffle a few things around,” he says, looking at Henry for confirmation. He nods and Pez smiles.

“We’d be delighted. Dinner sounds positively lovely. Thank you,” Pez continues.

Henry turns to Alex. “We could all meet back in the hotel lobby at quarter to 7 perhaps?”

Alex nods. “Yeah, that’d be great. Things should be pretty hectic at the expo today. I’ll look into making reservations nearby afterwards."

Voices carry a bit louder from inside the hall.

"I should probably get back," Alex says. "But have fun you guys and enjoy the panel. Pez, it was really nice meeting you. I will absolutely be expecting a truckload of embarrassing stories and any overall dirt you might have on Henry, so start brainstorming now,” he says with a wink.

 Henry already rues turning them into co-conspirators.

Pez smiles and wiggles his fingers at Alex before he leaves them to head to the greenroom. The moment Alex rounds the corner, Pez does an unseemly victory dance right there in the corridor.

“How can you possibly stand being around him all day every day without wanting to jump his bones? He’s even more attractive in person. That’s just unnatural. Dare I say, it’s supernatural.”

Henry touches his hand to his forehead.

“Come on. Let’s go grab our seats. They’ll be starting shortly.”

~*~*~

The secret of his true dynamic with Alex haunts Henry like a tell-tale heart. Each time Pez mentioned Alex’s name after the panel and now back here in their hotel room, Henry feels as if he could choke on the secret.

“I’ve hit rock bottom,” he says, apropos of nothing as he and Pez watch an episode of Crescent Valley on his laptop in bed.

“Welcome! There’s plenty of room down here,” Pez says, yanking Henry to rest his head in his lap. “Come now, tell Auntie Pezza what ails you, my darling.”

Henry sighs and hits the spacebar, freezing the show. It’s a small mercy that it isn’t a scene with Alex. He’s not so sure he’d be able to get through this conversation with Alex’s face right there in front of them.

“I think I’ve made a mistake.”

Pez’s fingers scratch lightly against Henry’s scalp.

“My dear Henry, you’re a writer. I need you to put your fancy degree to good use and elaborate for me, love.”

Henry looks away, unable to maintain eye contact for what he’s about to say.

“Part of me is falling for someone that I shouldn’t. Maybe ‘falling for’ is a bit too much. I need more time to parse it, but I feel…different sometimes.”

Pez’s hand stops combing through his hair.

“Hang on now. You haven’t met anyone new recently that I know of. I mean, there’s that secret midnight hookup back in New York and of course, scrumptious Alex. The latter would be bonkers, but it can’t be the former. You never got his info.”

Henry bites back on his lower lip. Pez is so close to the mark.

“That’s not exactly true. I sort of…ran into him the next day.”

“Have you any Advil here? I swear you’re giving me a headache talking in riddles like this. You had lunch with Alex the next day and then came straight home, no?”

Pez’s eyes grow wide, realization sinking in. Henry sits up and not a moment too soon as Pez’s hands fly to his mouth and he muffles a scream.

“No! Oh, my god, wait. No. There’s just no way! You don’t mean to say…Alex is Javier?”

Henry looks down at his hands, suddenly very fascinated with them.

“Well, now, that just shattered all my illusions. Pity he wasn’t good in bed. As fit as he is…hmm.”

“He wasn’t good that first night, no. But since then…”

“Since then! ” Pez shrieks, completely scandalized. “Grab the smelling salts! Get me a lounge chair! I’m going to pass out, I swear it. This is simply too much for me to take,” he says, putting a hand over his heart.

Pez shakes his head almost cartoonishly.

“Do you mean to tell me you two have been shagging this whole time?”

“Not the whole time,” Henry says reflexively. “Look, Pez, you cannot say a word to anyone, do you understand?”

Pez’s face grows serious, all his theatrics subsiding at the drop of a hat. 

“I give you my word. You know that. I wouldn’t tell a soul.”

Henry nods. “No, I know. I’m sorry,” he says, rubbing anxiously at his temple. “I’m just…there’s so much riding on this, you know? The book, my contract. Most importantly though, he’s only out to his friends and family right now. This isn’t even my secret to tell. But, heavens, Pez, I feel like I’ve been dying keeping this in. Things are so good with us. I’ve been loving being on this tour.”

“Well, I should think so,” Pez says, smirking a little. “If I were spending my nights tangled in the sheets with none other than Alex Claremont-Diaz, I’d be having the time of my already fabulous life too.”

Henry shoves him gently.

“You’re horrible, but I’ll admit, that’s been an added bonus. But honestly? I simply like being around him. He’s clever and funny and smart and infuriating in the best ways at times…I don’t know. It’s been fun getting to know him.”

Pez’s brows furrow a bit.

“Are you sure you can handle this, Hazza? It actually does sound an awful lot like you’re falling pretty hard here. I assume you two have struck up a deal of some sort with guidelines?”

“It’s just casual. Platonic even. I’m merely giving him pointers in the bedroom and by the time I leave from the tour, that’ll be the end of that. We’ll both move on from this,” Henry says.

Pez doesn’t look entirely convinced. 

“I don’t think you can put a hard deadline on feelings. No offense, but casual has never quite been your factory setting.”

Henry shakes his head. “It’s fine. This is so unlike me. I’m only being silly now, getting swept up in the secrecy of it all.”

Pez grins. “That I can understand. This is terribly salacious. I’m eating it up with a bib and a spoon.”

Pez hums and taps his chin. “Now, let’s back it up just a taste for one moment, honey. When you say he’s improved since New York…”

Henry buries his face in his hands and groans.

“Oh, come on! You’ve got to give me something here,” Pez insists. “You’ve been sitting on an absolute treasure trove of a secret for weeks now!”

Henry looks up and takes a deep breath.

“He…takes instructions very well. He’s a rather quick and adept learner. An enthusiastic one at that.”

Pez’s smile grows even wider which Henry didn’t think was humanly possible.

“I’d absolutely hate you if I didn’t love you so much. I’m dying. Good on you though.”

Henry laughs at the absurdity of Pez’s praise.

“Anyway, I needed to tell someone before I popped, so thank you for indulging me.”

“No, no. Thank you, my dear, for this cup of delicious, piping hot tea. I’m all the more excited for dinner now, to get to know the kitten who has gotten my best friend so smitten.”

~*~*~

After an incredible dinner at one of the trendiest restaurants Henry has ever been to, Pez insists they keep the night going with drinks downtown. It’s truly a marvel to see how easily his best friend is able to be at home anywhere, even a place he’s only now visiting for the first time.

From the moment they entered the club, Pez took his place on the dancefloor like a king holding court among his subjects. He dances with perfectly good strangers, cozying up to a few of them. Henry is already wondering if he’ll have to arrange to sleep elsewhere tonight.

He shakes his head to himself as he reaches for his drink where he and Alex sit in a corner booth, away from the crowd but with a perfect view to see it all.

“You told Pez about us,” Alex says out of the blue, a statement not a question.

Henry bites nervously on his bottom lip, stunned. He thinks back to dinner. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary. He actually thought Pez did a good job of hiding the fact that he was in on the secret. Yet still, Alex clearly picked up on something.

“I did. I’m sorry. I promise, he wouldn’t tell anyone. Subtly may not be his strong suit,” he says, glancing over Pez with his bubblegum pink hair and flashy sequined jacket, an all-out blur on the dancefloor, “but discretion is. He knows you aren’t out. He’d never in a million years breathe a word of any of this.”

Alex nods and smiles. “If you trust him, so do I. Honestly, I’m not worried. In all fairness, I told my sister and Nora.”

Henry can’t even begin to absorb that information or the possible implications of it. It’s just enough to know that this dynamic between them felt worthwhile enough for Alex to tell the two closest people to him.

“And do they think us mad for this?”

“Actually, no. They damn near threw me a party,” Alex says, reaching for his beer and laughing to himself.  “Your fan club increased by two automatically.”

Henry lifts a brow. “Am I to assume you’re a member too?”

“Sweetheart, I’m the president. The founding member.”

Henry smiles demurely and shakes his head. 

“Once again, I must say, you do wonders for my self-esteem. Thank you.”

Alex eyes him curiously.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Of course,” Henry says. “What’s on your mind?”

“How the fuck are you single? Not that I’m actually complaining because, selfishly, there’s no way in hell we’d be able to do any of the things we’ve been doing since New York. I’m counting my lucky stars and all that jazz, but still. It’s absolutely crazy to me that you aren’t seeing anyone. I’m sure that’s a conscious choice on your part. It’s got to be. A guy like you wouldn’t have any issues finding a boyfriend if you wanted one.”

Henry rubs the back of his neck.

“I don’t know what it is. Perhaps I’m too closed off.”

“Bullshit. The night we met, you opened up to me. You were so easy to talk to. I felt like I’d always known you.”

This brings Henry up short. He’d felt that same connection with Alex too, but to hear the man echo the sentiment almost identically to how he’d thought about it is slightly disorienting.

“I think we’ve established that night was a special case. It was different with you. I was different with you than I normally am with literally every other guy I’ve pursued. I don’t know why. I just felt comfortable so it was easy, for the first time in God only knows how long to open up. It was a fluke.”

“Or fate,” Alex says. His eyes widen and he blinks twice quickly. “I’m like…I’m not trying to say we’re soulmates or anything,” he stammers. “I just mean, I don’t know. It’s rare for me too to click with someone like that. I think there’s something to be said for two people like us just happening across each other then crossing paths again the very next day. What are the odds of that?”

Henry is quiet as he mulls over Alex’s words. 

“I don’t mean to freak you out. Shit, just forget I said anything.”

Henry shakes his head.

“You didn't. I think you might actually have a point and I don’t know what to make of it.”

He searches Alex's eyes then looks away, back down to his laptop.

“Anyway, to answer your question, I suppose I’m single because it simply isn’t my time right now. I’ve never truly been lucky in that department. Our night aside, I really do have a tendency to guard myself.”

“Why?” Alex asks. “There’s so much good in there. I could see it on day one. That’s what drew me to you in the first place.”

“So it wasn’t just my dashing good looks and accent?”

Alex cocks his head to the side and gives him a look.

“I’m serious. I’ve been seeing it ever since. You’re depriving people, Henry. Most of all, yourself and I think that’s the worst part in all of this. It’d be a shame to never share that.”

Henry’s brows furrow. In a way, hadn’t he been letting Alex in this whole time? Henry realizes belatedly that maybe it didn’t count. After all, none of this was actually real. 

If only his heart knew that.

“Shall I get us another round?” he says, rising from his seat, suddenly needing to be away from this suffocating booth.

Alex runs a hand through his hair.

“Fuck. Henry, wait. I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“You didn’t,” Henry says, perhaps too quickly. He tries again, setting his hand down on the table. 

“We’re good. I just…I need a moment is all. Besides, I should probably get Pez a large glass of water before he passes out.”

Alex’s knuckles touch the back of his hand. It’s so subtle and faint, any passerby wouldn’t even notice. But that small point of contact becomes the sole focus of Henry’s entire world.

“You’re sure we’re okay?” Alex asks again.

Henry stares back at him.

“Always.”

~*~*~

Columbus, OH GalaxyCon Day 1

Another week, another time zone and Henry is convinced tour life might actually be the death of him.

When they arrived in Ohio yesterday evening, Henry had felt a bit off. He ignored the feeling, not wanting anything to put a damper on the upcoming con and Alex’s excitement over it. He’d be joined again by his castmates and was looking forward to the big dinner they had planned before they were all parting ways again.

Henry liked how pumped Alex got ahead of and during cons, the way he’d light up at the prospect of seeing familiar faces in the crowds and new ones alike. Since the announcement, Henry has noticed the uptick in fervor from both Alex and fans. The last thing Henry wants to do is give Alex any cause for concern or worry.

He gets through most of the morning at GalaxyCon pretty well until close to noon when Alex’s panel is set to start.

“You okay?” Alex asks. “You look a little pale.”

“Yeah, I think all this traveling is catching up to me.”

Alex puts the back of his hand on Henry’s forehead.

“You feel warm, Henry. You must be coming down with something.”

Henry can hear the worry in Alex's voice.

“I’m fine.”

“I can literally see and feel that you aren’t.”

Henry can hear fans being let into the hall. Maybe all he needs now is just some time away to sit alone with some peace and quiet.

“If it’s alright with you, I’m going to pop back to the hotel and get some rest.”

Alex’s lips and brows are pinched with concern.

“Of course it’s okay. Do you need anything?”

Henry shakes his head. “Don’t worry about me. You have your panel to focus on. I’ll be fine.”

Alex doesn’t look convinced and Henry can see the debate he’s having with himself.

He touches Alex’s arm lightly. “I’ll check in with you later. Go have fun out there with your friends.”

Almost on cue, the rest of the cast starts to line up behind the stage. Henry watches them go past but Alex doesn’t budge.

“Go, Alex. I’ll be fine.”

Alex sighs and nods, finally accepting defeat.

“The second we’re done here though, I’m calling you.”

“Fair enough,” Henry says. “I’ll be as good as new by the time you do. You’ll see.”

~*~*~

There’s an annoying pounding sound that makes Henry’s already aching head feel worse as he opens his eyes.

“Henry, let me in,” he hears faintly.

Henry groans and rolls over in bed, instantly regretting the move. His vision feels like a dizzying kaleidoscope. He shuts his eyes again and takes a breath before looking around his room.

He doesn’t know how long he’s been knocked out, but the sun is no longer in the sky and that’s telling enough.

“Henry?” the voice calls again. There are three more quick knocks on the door. “You’re freaking me out. Open up.”

Alex. 

Henry sways as he gets to his feet. It takes a moment for the room to stop feeling like it’s spinning before he walks over to the door and opens it.

On the other side, he’s met with an anxious looking Alex who takes a deep breath of relief.

“Thank God. I was about to get hotel security.”

“I’m fine,” Henry says. 

Alex’s face is incredulous. “You look like shit which I never thought was possible. No offense,” he tacks on. “Shaan has been calling you. I’ve been calling you. I thought you’d passed out though, by the looks of things, I’m guessing that’s exactly what happened. You’re sick.”

Henry rubs at his left temple.

“I need…to sit. You…can keep talking if you want,” he says, stepping away from the door and back into the room.

Behind him, Alex scoffs and presumably comes inside. Henry hears the door close, but it feels like it’d take too much effort to turn around and confirm.

He sits on the edge of bed and wraps the covers around himself like a cocoon.

“I wanted to ask you some more stuff for the book. I just need thirty minutes more. You can go. I’ll set an alarm,” he says, fumbling around the nightstand for his phone but he soon abandons the task when he forgets what he’s searching for a moment later.

“Forget the book. Do you know what day it is?” Alex asks as he approaches his bedside.

“It’s Friday,” Henry mumbles, the comforter falling from his shoulders. 

“Okay, yeah, technically. But it’s also Opposite Day. So, I will be doing the polar opposite of everything you suggest.”

“Alex. How is that— in any way, shape, or form—different from any other day of the week for you?”

Alex grins, his nose scrunching as he does so.

“You may have lost the ability to breathe through your nose, but it’s nice to know your sass is still firmly in place.”

A wave of nausea hits Henry just then, holding him back from making another quick retort. The discomfort he feels must register on his face as Alex’s smile disappears and concern quickly takes its place instead. 

“Come on, seriously, lay down. Please let me take care of you.”

Henry’s tired body responds at once as if it’d been waiting for the command to allow him to finally give in. He settles in on his side and Alex is right there, pulling the comforter over him.

Henry’s surprised as Alex crouches beside the bed, their faces on level as he brushes damp strands from Henry’s forehead. His fingertips are soft against Henry’s skin where they lightly graze him. Alex’s eyes track the movement of his own hand, but Henry can’t look away from the other man's face, taking stock of the way his lashes cast shadows on his cheekbones and his perfect mouth parts slightly. 

“I’ll be right back,” Alex says softly. “I’m going to find the nearest pharmacy and grab a few things for you.”

“I just need to sleep it off.”

Alex scoffs. “Christ, and I thought I was stubborn. I might’ve finally found my match.”

Those words shouldn’t have the power to make Henry’s heart leap. He chalks it up to his sickness for the temporary delusion that Alex could mean anything more. They aren’t a match, even if they’ve been proving to be compatible in virtually every regard. He’s simply not the kind of person Alex actually settles down with.

It’s far too much to think about now; perhaps even when he isn’t feeling like Death warmed over wouldn’t be the best time to attempt dissecting all his complicated feelings.

“You’re the hottest nurse I’ve ever had.”

Alex winks. “If only I’d had time to get a uniform. You’ll just have to use your imagination, sweetheart.”

“A literal interpretation of a fever dream, huh?”

Alex smiles and strokes Henry’s hair again.

“Speaking of dreams, get some sleep while I’m gone.” Henry watches Alex snag his keycard from the nightstand. “I’ll let myself in when I get back. Call if anything changes while I’m out, okay?”

Henry nods, but already his brain is starting to shut down, his eyes too.

He feels a gentle hand against his cheek and what he thinks could be lips on the crown of his head for a brief moment before sleep overtakes him.

~*~*~

When he opens his eyes again, Alex’s back is to him as he sits at the front of the bed. An episode of The Golden Girls is playing on the television and Henry thinks, surely, this fever is playing tricks on his mind.

He sits up slowly and Alex turns at once just as the show breaks for advertisements.

Alex smiles and gets to his feet, going over to the table in the room. Henry sees two tote bags there that Alex begins to unload. The haul is serious, complete with cough medicine, throat lozenges, vapor rub, and even soup and orange juice.

It warms Henry’s heart to see the care that’s gone into this, but he can’t imagine this is how anyone would want to spend a Friday night.

“You’re sweet for this, Alex, thank you,” he says, sniffling a little. He clears his throat.

“You’re going to get sick if you hang around much longer though. You should probably go. I can take it from here. Honest.”

“Do I make for such poor company that you’re giving me the boot already? I’m borderline offended.”

Henry lets out a breath, the closest thing he can muster to a laugh, and gets into bed again, pulling the covers over himself.

“Of course not. I’d just feel even worse if you caught this because of me.”

Alex brings the container of soup over and sets it on the nightstand.

“I’m from Texas. We’re built strong. And besides, I always prepare for the con circuit. At this point I’ve probably got more Airborne than blood running through my veins. I’m good and I’m staying now shh, commercials are over.”

Henry shakes his head to himself as Alex focuses back on the screen and sits beside him now on top of the covers. Henry studies his profile, the sharp angles on a still soft face.

“You must be starving by now and if you aren’t, that’s all the more reason to eat. Here, try a bit of the soup.”

Alex leans over him and grabs the circular plastic container and takes the lid off. Vapors rise from it and it hits Henry then just how hungry he really is. Alex dips a spoon inside and brings it to his lips.

“I can feed myself. I’m not a baby,” Henry protests.

“No, but you’re acting like one. Now shut up and let me take care of you, dammit,” Alex grumbles.

“Your bedside manor could use a bit more work,” Henry says, but he obliges, leaning forward and taking a sip. 

Alex’s eyes look anxious as he watches him.

“Is it good? I went with chicken noodle, a tried and true classic. But if you want something else, I could always—”

“It’s perfect, thank you. You’ve done more than enough, Alex. Seriously.”

He lets Alex coddle him and finishes the soup before taking some cold medicine and orange juice. They watch more TV though Henry doesn’t really pay attention to anything on the screen. His body feels drained again and he's glad Alex had been stubborn and insisted on staying. It’d be an even more miserable scene if he were alone.

He tucks in on Alex’s side and rests his head against his chest.

“I’m really glad you're here,” Henry says after a moment. He listens to the steady drumming of Alex’s heart as the man cards his fingers through Henry’s hair, his dull nails gently scratching against his scalp. It’s enough to lull Henry; he feels himself quickly losing the battle to fatigue all over again.

“There’s no place else I’d rather be. Get some more rest, sweetheart,” he hears Alex’s voice say quietly as he begins to drift. The final word hit Henry’s ear a bit differently. It’s not as if Alex has never said it to him before, but this time, it sounded sincerely affectionate. Romantic even.

His exhaustion and delirium must be at an all-time high and working together to make him conjure up the term of endearment Alex has never uttered in that particular tone before.

~*~*~

Columbus, OH

Day 2

“You missed the cast dinner,” Henry says almost accusatorily, setting his plate of breakfast and mug of tea down on Alex’s table the next morning in the hotel's dining hall.

“Hi, sunshine. Good morning to you too. Slept well then?” Alex replies, popping a grape into his mouth.

Henry frowns as he takes a seat.

“Alex, I’m serious. I just realized you were supposed to meet up with everyone last night.”

Alex shrugs and plucks another grape from the bunch on his plate.

“And yet the world is still spinning. The sun is still shining. It’s not a big deal. I see them all the time and you needed me more. It wasn’t a hard choice to make.”

Henry feels his face warm slightly at the sentiment. 

“You didn’t have to sacrifice your night for me.”

“It wasn’t a sacrifice. I wanted to be there for you. It’s as simple as that.”

Henry pulls out a chair and sits.

“Well, thank you. I appreciated it.”

Alex smiles. “You look good today. I’m glad you’re feeling better.”

“Me too. Considering the fact that you bought up half the pharmacy, my immune system didn’t have a choice but to get itself in order. How much do I owe you?”

“And here I was thinking we finally moved past this. I’m not accepting any form of payment or payback for last night,” Alex says, spreading cream cheese on a bagel.

 Henry smiles to himself.

“You’re infuriatingly stubborn.”

“I might’ve been told that once or twice before, yes.”

Henry laughs and decides he’s better off shifting gears.

“What would you like to do today? Are any of your castmates still in town?”

Alex shakes his head.

“Nah, not for long. They had early morning flights and should be at the airport by now if they aren’t already in the skies.”

Henry bites his tongue to avoid apologizing again.

“Perhaps we could hang out then? Maybe we could get lunch or do something fun before we kiss this city goodbye too.”

Alex grabs his phone and types something into it.

“Have you ever done mini-golf before?”

Henry laughs.

“No, I can’t say that I have.”

“There's an adventure park near here. Mini-golf, go karts…you in?”

“Are you an adrenaline junkie?” Henry asks, taking a sip of his tea.

Alex eyes him for a moment.

“I’m a fan of most things that get my heart racing. Surely you must know that by now.”

Henry tries and fails not to look affected. Usually Alex saves flirtatious talk like this for their lessons, when they’re in the privacy of one of their rooms.

He figures he’s overthinking it. Anyone passing by would simply think it’s an innocuous statement. Only Henry knows the deeper meaning of his words. It excites him, having this secret hiding in plain sight.

“That makes two of us then. I’m game.”

~*~*~

They unwind after a day of adventure in Alex’s room watching Crescent Valley. Alex gives Henry behind the scenes commentary on what it was like filming on the show and he takes advantage of the insights, letting his phone rest between them as they lay side by side in bed, recording all the stories so that he can add more color to the book.

Henry creates a new voice note and puts the show on pause, switching over to his running notes document.

“Can you talk to me about your journey learning about your sexuality?” he asks. “It’s such a key part to the memoir, I’d love to hear more about that.”

Alex pulls in a breath and Henry feels a bit guilty about switching gears so suddenly. In contrast to how easy it was for Alex to share on-set anecdotes, he seems unsure of where to start now.

“It used to be a distant, vague thing in my head. The first concrete period of time I can pinpoint is freshman year. I played lacrosse in high school,” Alex says. “And I was damn good.”

Henry can picture it easily, Alex in uniform, a complete rockstar on the field. He’s patient as Alex parses his thoughts.

“I’d get super competitive with guys I thought had an edge on me. I can’t really describe it. But sometimes I’d reason, if I could beat them, they’d be impressed and I’d get on their radar. I really don’t know how to explain it,” he repeats. Henry can hear the frustration. “I guess I was seeking some kind of validation. I wanted them to notice me and not just as an athlete.”

Alex sighs.

“I’ve only genuinely hooked up with one guy other than you. I’ve gotten wasted at parties in L.A before and I’ve made out with some dudes, but it was always something I could explain away like, I was drunk or just doing a bit. Messing around, you know? But then I’d think about high school and the way one of my teammates and I would kinda orbit around each other. It wasn’t…the same with him. With Liam,” Alex sighs and Henry doesn’t miss how soft Alex’s voice gets when saying his old teammates name. 

“I didn’t get that competitive streak. It was different. More real. With him, it was like we were on equal ground.”

Alex shakes his head, toying with his fingers.

“We were good friends. We’d hang out a lot after practice or games. We kind of fell into it. I almost don’t even remember how or when I noticed it for the first time, the way we’d hold each other’s gaze a little longer than was needed. Or the way we’d make excuses to casually touch either other in almost stealthy ways. I guess it doesn’t really matter. Point is, it eventually came to a head. We’d be so hopped up on adrenaline after lacrosse most times and one day, one thing led to another and the next thing I knew, we were making out in my room.”

Henry studies Alex’s profile, sees the deep furrow of his brow as if, years later, he’s still trying to understand his actions.

“The first time it happened, I thought that’d be the only time. We were both kinda spooked by it, to be honest. After he left though, I couldn’t stop thinking about it…about how much I actually liked it and wanted it again. For fuck’s sake, I got off thinking about him and our kiss that night. That was the first time I ever got off thinking about a guy.”

Alex sighs.

“I saw him the next day at practice. At first, we kept our distance in the locker room. We went out on the field with everyone else, and played our parts well. Then he showed up at my house afterwards totally unannounced and it became a recurring thing after that. If we celebrated a win or if one of us had a shitty day at practice...we’d keep seeking each other out. It was mostly always just kissing. But every now and then, we’d touch. Nothing over the top. Hell, we’d mostly just get ourselves off together. I think I was too scared to touch him like that. It would have made what we were doing too real somehow.”

Henry listens on quietly, fully present in this moment with Alex.

“We… I chalked it up to goofing around. Just boys being boys or whatever bullshit I used to convince myself it meant nothing. Liam is actually engaged now to a pretty great guy. We’ve talked since high school, you know, about everything. I thought we were just messing around, but he told me how serious it was on his end, even back then. He’d always felt different than our classmates. He always knew this truth about himself even though he was afraid to say it out loud. He genuinely liked me as more than a friend.”

Alex frowns and collects his thoughts.

“Looking back on it, I feel like such an asshole. Liam had real feelings for me and I know now that I was attracted to him, but we were in two totally different headspaces when we were hooking up. Each time, it was reaffirming something for him. He knew fully that he was gay. For me, at the time at least, it just felt like a way of getting off and having fun. He felt like an exception to everything, an anomaly. I still went out with and hooked up with girls regularly, you know. I didn’t know what it actually meant about me that I was in fact drawn to both.”

Alex runs a hand through his hair. 

“I’m glad he and I have had the chance to talk things through. And I’ve apologized to him several times, but it hardly feels like enough. I should have been more careful. I should have seen what that really was. I never meant to hurt him.”

Henry inches forward, his heart breaking as Alex looks at him with wet eyes.

“You’ve done all you can since learning the truth. It wasn’t intentional and I’m sure he knows that. Liam isn’t upset with you, right?”

Alex shakes his head.

“No, but he’d have every reason in the world to be.”

Henry places a hand on Alex’s.

“You can’t beat yourself up over this. You’ve made amends. You were just kids back then. This isn’t easy. You’ve got to give yourself some grace.”

There’s a distant look in Alex’s eyes as he blinks his tears away.

“Yeah. Yeah, you’re right and logically, I get that. Still, I can’t fully shake it. I can’t help but to wonder what my life would have been like if only I would have realized what it meant that I kept going back to him. Because I really wanted it with him specifically, but it felt like a one-off, like no big deal, you know? If I thought a few guys were attractive, I saw it as just having eyes and being observant. It didn’t feel like some life-altering thing. But in reality? The things I was doing with Liam, the things I wanted to do with him but didn’t have the courage to say…that was a huge turning point and I totally missed it. Sometimes, it almost feels like I was robbed. But it was my own ignorance that kept me in the dark for so long.”

Alex shrugs and looks away and Henry’s heart shatters at once.

“Anyway, that’s a conversation for me and my therapist. I won’t bore you with it any further now,” Alex laughs, but Henry can hear the pain in it. 

He stops the recording. He’s asked enough of Alex tonight.

“It’s never a bore, a bother, or a burden. You can always talk to me. Even if I weren’t tasked with writing out your life’s story, I’d want to listen. I…perhaps it’s improper, but I sincerely do consider you a dear friend, Alex.”

Alex quirks a brow.

“Given the things we’ve done to each other’s bodies, I’d say friendship is the least improper territory we’ve waded into.”

This time Henry laughs as he concedes.

“You’ve got me there,” he relents. 

Alex smiles softly and reaches for Henry’s hand. 

“I appreciate it though. The offer and…you know, you in general. You’re helping me in all sorts of ways, it’s actually kind of crazy. I don’t know if I’ve even said thank you yet, for any of it. But I am grateful for everything.”

“You’re welcome. It’s nice to know I can be useful,” Henry says, aiming for levity.

But Alex’s face is serious as he shakes his head and laces their fingers.

He quickly pushes the feeling aside and allows the sheer pandemonium around him to consume him. He finds himself joining the masses and cheering on the cast as they smile and wave at the audience before taking their seats.

The panel goes along much like any other until the end during the Q&A portion. A man steps up to the mic for the final question and though Henry personally has no clue who he is, the audience collectively gasps. From overheard whispers, he learns the man is none other than the creator of Crescent Valley.

Henry looks up at the stage, his eyes landing immediately on Alex. He sees the excitement in his eyes like a kid on Christmas morning.

The show’s creator waits for silence to fall before he speaks.

“Now, I have just one question for you guys,” he says looking at the actors on stage. “Are you ready to step into the world of Crescent Valley one last time?”

“Yes!” the cast says together into their mics as the monitors on the sides of the stage flash with the news.

Crescent Valley returns for a two-hour special this winter!

The eruption from the audience is unlike anything Henry has ever seen or heard before. People are jumping out of their seats, crying, screaming, hugging each other. Through it all, Henry can’t take his eyes off Alex and the cast as they drink it all in, the Crescent Valley theme song playing once more as the perfect soundtrack for the reverent fans losing their ever-loving minds in the room.

There are so many questions Henry wants to ask Alex about this moment, but he knows any hopes for talking about the book or literally anything else today are completely dashed now that the news is out in the world.

~*~*~

Henry’s suspicions were right. Alex's phone had gone off all afternoon with calls and texts from Zahra with interview requests that have been streaming in. On every platform imaginable, #CrescentValleySpecial is trending and Alex’s mentions are in complete disarray. Henry had expected things to get crazy, but this was outright insanity.

He was able to get introduced to the cast after the panel when he went backstage. All his inexplicable nervousness in meeting Nora turned out to be for nothing.

The way she and Alex interacted with one another was more like brother and sister. Whatever romantic feelings they held over five years ago was clearly ancient history.

He left Alex to spend the evening with his castmates though he had been welcomed to join them. It was a sweet offer, but Henry figured blocking out a few hours to work on his notes and configuring the preliminary skeleton of the book would be a wiser use of his time. He checked in with Pez, making sure their apartment was still in one piece and gave his friend an update from the road.

Pez was freaking out about the special just like everyone else online. He wouldn’t let Henry go without him promising to fill Pez in if he caught wind of any spoilers over the next few weeks.

Looking at his document, Henry feels satisfied with the work he’s done this evening. 

It’s eleven o'clock now and according to the tour itinerary, Alex has a signing in the morning followed by a cast reunion photoshoot. He mentally prepares for another day where they won’t get to see much of each other or truly be alone together.

Henry brushes his teeth, studying his reflection in the mirror when he hears his phone vibrate on the counter. He looks down, turning his head to read the text message that appears on his lock screen.

Alex cant sleep. up for another lesson?

Henry spits out his toothpaste and rinses out his mouth before picking up his phone and answering.

Henry Ready when you are. 

Five minutes later, there’s a knock at Henry’s door.

“Hey,” Alex says. 

He stands before Henry in his glasses, wearing checkered navy blue pajama pants and a gray t-shirt. It’s a bit ridiculous how good he looks even when severely underdressed like this.

“Sorry for the late night message. My head’s been buzzing all day and I still feel completely wired. Also, I missed you today. And now I’m realizing I’ve literally sent a godforsaken ‘u up’ text. You would’ve been well within your rights to tell me to fuck all the way off.”

Henry laughs at how quickly Alex gets all these words out. 

“I’m a bit of an insomniac anyway so you’re hardly disturbing me. And besides, I sorta missed you too.”

Alex smiles a little and sways in place.

“Oh, do come in,” Henry says belatedly, stepping aside. He closes the door and locks it behind him.

“What’s next on your syllabus? We’re still on touch, right?” Henry asks.

“Yes, getting to know thy cock.”

A laugh rips out of Henry. “You’re the worst.”

Alex winks and takes a seat on Henry’s bed.

“Okay, so touch and getting more acquainted with what your partner likes,” Henry says. 

He thinks on it for a moment.

“As I’ve mentioned before, this really will be trial and error each time you’re intimate with someone. It’s not unlike when you’ve been with past partners. I’m sure you’ve found that what one person may love, another isn’t too fond of.”

Henry pauses again. 

“I wonder if this might not be better for me to show you rather than explain,” Henry says.

Alex looks confused, his brows furrowed. 

“Like…you give me a handjob or…I give you a proper one this time?”

“Or, option C, I get myself off and you watch,” Henry says plainly.

Alex blanches and Henry takes a bit of pride in being able to shock Alex like this.

“You said you wanted to know what I liked, right? Feels like this could be the best way to do just that.”

“Well, I am a visual learner,” Alex says quietly.

Henry crosses the room and goes into his suitcase, starting to dig around. 

“I think people have a tendency to get wrapped up in the idea of penetration being the only ‘real’ kind of sex,” Henry says thoughtfully. “If you ask me, that’s a very limited scope. There are so many different ways to intimately connect with your partner. Manually is one of them.”

He takes out a small bottle of lube and turns back to face Alex. 

“Whether it’s you getting your partner off or watching them and vice versa, this is another way you can, for a lack of a better term, come together when intimate.”

Alex laughs. “Yes, I have the humor of a middle schooler. Sue me.”

Henry rolls his eyes and steps closer to Alex.

“Can I kiss you? It helps,” he says, not explaining further.

If Alex is confused, he hides it well. He simply parts his legs where he’s seated on the length of the bed and Henry steps between them. He frames Alex’s face, leans in and kisses him straight away. 

The man is a pro at this and after a few moments, Henry can feel that familiar stirring in the pit of his stomach. Alex kisses him hungrily, deepening it and Henry feels his body respond immediately. He kisses Alex for a little while longer before forcing himself to pull away.

Rather than sit beside Alex on the edge, he gets in and lays back against the pillows.

Alex shifts to look at him. Henry tugs off his sweats and boxer briefs. It’s ridiculously easy to feel comfortable being naked in front of Alex and the fact that there’s still more weeks ahead should not thrill him in the way that it does.

He squeezes a small drop of lube in the palm of his hand. He coats his cock, shivering a little at the feel of the substance against his sensitive skin.

Alex’s eyes are wide and unblinking as he watches Henry’s movements.

“It’s the same principle you might have for when you get yourself off. Sometimes you might want it quick and rough, but more often than not, for me anyway, I really like the buildup. I enjoy getting myself worked up and close to the edge before letting myself let go completely. When I’m with a guy, I like it the same way. With teasing too. I can’t get enough of that, if I’m being honest. It drives me wild.”

He demonstrates, slowly stroking himself and circling the tip of his cock. Precome glistens on the head and he smears it with the pad of his thumb.

Henry shivers and practically purrs. 

Alex doesn’t even look like he’s breathing as he watches.

“That first night, you were overthinking it. It made you second guess yourself rather than follow your instincts. If there are moves or techniques that you enjoy, chances are that your partner might like them too. But you’ve got to give them the opportunity to really experience it before jumping so quickly onto the next thing.”

Henry squeezes himself and pumps his hand again slowly along his shaft.

“I actually really like this and you had the basic thought of it when we hooked up, but it felt sort of mechanical. I could feel your hesitancy and it took me out of the moment,” he says gently.

Alex frowns. “Sorry about that.”

Henry shakes his head. “Nothing to be sorry about. Now you know for next time.”

Something flickers in Alex’s eyes and it makes a pleasant chill run down Henry’s spine. The promise of next time. Henry has no clue when their next hookup will be, but the idea of Alex’s hand on him makes him even harder.

His eyes roll shut and Henry lets his imagination run with the fantasy. He pictures this moment now, only it’s Alex’s hand between his legs, pleasuring him, teasing him. He thinks back to that night in Arizona, their first foray into the touch component. 

Alex’s movements in his room were far better than their initial night. It seemed he had really taken Henry’s preliminary feedback into consideration. Since that night in Arizona, Henry had been wondering how things might have gone if they hadn’t stopped at strictly over the clothes, if he pushed their lesson a bit further.

A soft sound falls from his parted lips as his head tips back against the plush pillows as he envisions it. He spreads his legs wider and teases the slit of his cock. Distantly he hears Alex hiss. Henry does too. He’s so aroused and sensitive, even the air in the room makes the sensations more acute.

He bites back on his lower lip as he continues to stroke himself, his freehand massaging his balls. He feels the bed shift and he opens his eyes to find Alex on the bed in earnest, settled on his knees, studying him with rapt attention, his hands balled into fists against his lap.

Henry’s back arches as he stares at Alex, his heart pounding steadily. He gives his cock another firm squeeze on a downstroke and moans. It’s intoxicating knowing he has Alex locked into him like this. Alex’s cheeks are flushed, his eyes hungry and curious.

“Are you hard too?” Henry asks, his breath catching in his throat.

Alex scoffs. “How could I not be? Fucking hell, Henry, look at you.”

Henry smirks as he continues jerking himself off, teasing his leaking slit, his eyes never leaving Alex.

“Touch yourself with me then?” he hiccups. “If you’d be okay with—,”

He doesn’t get to finish his sentence. Alex is already racing to get his pants off. He settles beside Henry, occupying the space on the other side of the mattress. His cock is slick already and Henry whimpers quietly at the sight.

“Think we can get you to come with me?” he asks, turning his head towards Alex. 

“After watching you like this? I’m shocked I haven’t lost it already.”

Maybe it’s just easy banter but Alex makes him feel so desirable, wanted.

There’s a soft sheen of sweat at Alex’s temple and Henry’s eyes track a bead of it slowly racing down the side of his face. Knowing that Alex is this riled up because of him just arouses Henry more.

He watches the muscles flex in Alex’s arm, studies the way his fingers wrap around his own cock and work over the shaft. It’s unbelievably erotic and Henry feels his cock swell as he studies Alex. Alex’s breath is shaky as he watches him in turn.

“See? This can be just as hot. Maybe even hotter,” Henry notes. “Mutual masturbation can really do the trick too. It’s a different way of thinking about touch.”

Alex nods in agreement or understanding as he leans over, lips already searching. Henry kisses him at once. It’s heated and messy and only spurs them both on. The bed shakes as they both work to get themselves off feverishly, the two whimpering and moaning as they go.

Alex’s tongue toys with Henry’s so expertly it makes Henry’s toes curl. It’s too much all at once and Henry’s resolve slips. He comes hard into his fist, gasping into Alex’s mouth.

He rests his forehead against Alex’s as the man reaches his end a few beats later. Henry’s eyes are glued on the sight, his throat dry watching Alex’s release spill onto his hand and stomach. The urge to taste him is overwhelming. It takes every bit of restraint he has not to lick him clean.

Alex’s breaths are shaky as they fan across Henry’s face.

“How’d I do?” Alex asks, voice strained. He pulls back enough to look Henry fully in the face. His eyes are bright and wild and Henry would bet every dollar he has that he looks exactly like this too.

He outstretches a hand, tucking it under Alex’s chin.

“Top marks, Mr. Claremont-Diaz. Ten out of bloody ten.”

~*~*~

Minneapolis, MN Day 2

The excitement for the Crescent Valley special seems to have taken on new life the following day. At the convention center this morning, it felt as if every other person Henry walked past was speculating about the show, shooting off their headcanons and best guesses at what the writers had planned. Much like yesterday, Henry felt like a fly on the wall, a spy behind enemy lines getting intel on the ground.

The cast has been privy to it all. After their signing, they all sat around backstage talking about all the messages they’ve been receiving from fans all over the world. Henry couldn’t wrap his mind around that, a life in the public eye where people from all corners of the earth knew his name and cared so deeply about the work he was doing that they’d invest so much of their time and energy into it.

Henry tagged along with Alex to the cast photoshoot downtown. Once more he was struck by just how different his life was from Alex’s and the way even Alex himself seemed to be two people in one. When the cameras were on him, he could bring forth a version of himself that fit the celebrity bill to a tee. But the second he was off on the sides, away from the spotlight, he was his down to earth self, making jokes and keeping things fun for everyone around him.

Upon their return to their hotel, they head to their respective rooms with promises to see each other again soon. 

In his room alone, Henry feels antsy for reasons he can’t explain. He watches a few episodes of Crescent Valley which is quickly (and still secretly) becoming his biggest guilty pleasure before he decides watching Alex on screen is no substitute for the real thing. He grabs his laptop and leaves his room, marching down the hall to Alex’s.

He knocks twice and stands back, running a hand through his hair, his brows lifting as Alex answers the door, a towel wrapped low on his hips, body glistening with water.

“Sorry, did you text me? I must have missed it.”

Henry shakes his head, mouth suddenly very dry.

“No, I thought I’d swing by, but I definitely should have reached out first. I didn’t mean to catch you at a bad time.”

“Don’t be ridiculous; come in.”

Henry tears his eyes away from Alex’s damp torso, in particular the water droplet that makes its way down from his chest to the towel at his hips.

He steps inside of Alex’s room.

“What brings you by? Missed me already?” he teases, unknowingly hitting right on the truth. 

Alex slips on a shirt, the fabric quickly blooming wet spots from Alex’s fresh-out-the-shower skin.

Henry turns away, letting him get dressed with some modicum of privacy.

“I wanted to share the preliminary draft pages I worked on yesterday. I know I could have emailed them and you could make edits in the doc, but I thought it might be more helpful to go over it together in person so we could talk through any suggestions or changes you might have.”

Alex comes into view from behind him and takes a seat on one of the two single seater armchairs in the room. He’s fully clothed now which is both a relief and a disappointment. Henry switches off the side of his brain that feels the latter.

Rule number one of this arrangement could not be any clearer. The book will always be their top priority.

Henry sits in the chair opposite Alex and sets his laptop down on the round table between them, opening up the document.

Alex pulls the laptop forward and Henry anxiously watches as Alex starts to read. Henry kicks himself then. Maybe he really should have simply shot Alex an email. Watching his reaction in real time is nerve-wracking even though Alex seems to be enjoying it.

“We’ve really been spending a lot of time together, haven’t we?” Alex says, looking over the top of the laptop at Henry when he’s done. “You’ve got my voice down so well. This is actually kind of scary. You see, this is why we wanted you. You’re incredible at what you do.”

Henry laughs and waves him off. “It’s nothing.”

Alex shakes his head. “It’s a gift, Henry. You’re like a shapeshifter. You forget, I’ve seen the samples from your previous works. Each piece is so singular. It’s wild to know you’re behind them all.”

Henry blushes a bit at the compliment. “That means a lot, thank you.”

Alex sets the computer aside.

“You’re always asking questions about me, let’s switch it up.”

Henry laughs. “I’m not the one with a memoir due out, now am I?”

“Hmm, no. But that doesn’t mean that I don’t want to learn more about you. So, tell me. Do you think you’d ever write a book of your own?”

Henry rubs the back of his neck. It’s strange being the one under the spotlight, even in a harmless moment like this where it’s just the two of them.

“I’ve thought about it before. More than that, I’ve made attempts, but I don’t know. I think I’ve gotten so used to losing myself in other people, I’m not sure there’s much of me left.”

Alex searches his eyes.

“You clearly have a voice, Henry. People already pay good money for it. Just imagine when it’s your own stories on those pages.”

Henry smiles. “I’ve started quite a few stories. But ghostwriting, it’s been steady, sure work.”

“But are you passionate about it?” Alex asks and Henry is a bit taken aback by how effortlessly Alex seems to see right through to the heart of the matter.

“That book you had with you that night in New York, the gamer guy. You didn’t look happy at all sitting there with it.”

Henry shrugs. “I was having a bit of doubt around my career when we met, yes. I’m sure these aren’t words you want to hear from the man currently working on your book.”

Alex waves him off. “At least it’s the truth. You should be excited about what you do. Writing is clearly what you’re good at. The way you’re able to voice all these different people, I can only imagine the characters you dream up. I’d hate for you to get a bad association with writing if you keep cranking out books that don’t motivate you.”

Henry frowns. 

“I am excited about working on this one with you,” he says.

Alex smirks. “Well, yeah, that’s because I’m awesome and who wouldn’t want to spend every waking moment with me? I’m a goddamn delight,” he jokes before growing serious again, leaning forward a little and holding Henry’s gaze.

“Can you promise me something, Hen? After you’re done with our book, can you get back to one of yours?”

“Your book,” Henry corrects. Alex jokingly snarls. “But fine, yes. I’ll try with it again.”

“Good because I really think you should go for it for real this time. You’ve got far too much talent to let your words just sit on your laptop or for your characters to only live in your head. The world needs to hear you and know your name.”

“You know, if acting ever stops working for you, you’d make a killing as a motivational speaker,” Henry says.

Alex laughs and closes the laptop.

“We’ll call that plan B. I like keeping my options open.”

He gets up and stretches out on his bed, propping his head up on his hand and looking at Henry.

“It’s much comfier over here,” he says.

Henry laughs softly at the not so subtle invitation, but he gets up and lays beside Alex, staring up at the ceiling. He can feel Alex’s eyes on him, feel the warmth of the man’s body so close to his. Most of all, he can feel the growing tension between them, born out of nothing more than simply being next to each other and sharing space.

Some distant part of Henry’s brain cautions him against this, telling him to somehow scale back this very obvious attraction he feels towards Alex, but at this point, it’s as natural as breathing. He couldn’t help it if he tried.

He turns his head and Alex is right there, bright eyes already fixed on him.

“Since we’re doing things a little differently tonight,” Henry says, “how about we apply that to today’s lesson as well?”

Alex’s brows furrow.

“How so?”

“It’s important to know what your partner is into, how they like to be touched and handled. You’ve been doing really well with that, but I realize, it’s been a bit one-sided.”

Alex shifts slightly, still looking perplexed.

“I like how things have been going.”

“That might be so, but I want you to enjoy this too. These lessons have been about teaching you how best to work with your partner, but you should be able to know how to advocate for what you want as well.”

“Again, for the record, I have in fact been enjoying the hell out of myself. But I get what you mean and I appreciate it.”

Henry nods. “So, with that in mind, if you’re up for it, I’d like for us to focus solely on your pleasure and your needs tonight.”

In the quiet of the room, Henry can perfectly hear the breath that falls from Alex’s lips. To his credit, Alex quickly composes himself and nods.

“Yeah, I’d be alright with that.”

Henry smiles and leans forward slowly, watching Alex’s lips part in anticipation for him before he presses their mouths together. Alex all but melts into him and Henry is right there with his arms circling his waist at once.

They take their time, hands wandering along the slopes of each other's bodies, their tongues savoring each other’s taste. Henry can’t imagine he could ever grow tired of kissing Alex and, distantly, he thinks of the fact that one day very soon, this will all come to an end.

He pushes the thought from mind, opting instead to focus on this present moment where Alex is his alone.

Henry breaks the kiss first, but his lips don’t go far. He peppers a trail of kisses along Alex’s jaw as the man tangles his fingers in his hair.

Henry lets out a soft sound as Alex tugs and presses their bodies closer, rolling his hips forward, rutting up against him. Henry grinds back, stifling a groan at how half hard Alex is already.

“Tell me what you want most right now.”

Alex sighs, tightening his grip on Henry’s strands. Henry can hear the sharp inhale he takes.

“I want you to go down on me,” Alex rasps, breath catching as Henry continues dropping kisses on his skin.

“With pleasure,” Henry whispers against the shell of Alex’s ear, nipping gently on the man’s earlobe. He earns a deep moan in response.

Alex sinks back down against the bed, reaching for his jeans but Henry shakes his head and takes a hold of his hands.

“Allow me.”

Alex mutters a curse under his breath, his brown eyes growing darker still as he nods. Henry lets go of Alex’s hands and the man settles more, his arms folding behind his head as Henry begins to undo his jeans.

“Enjoying the view, are we?” Henry teases.

Alex grins shamelessly and shrugs. 

“A guy could get used to this.”

Henry laughs and places a kiss against his hip before removing the rest of his clothes. He’s hardly a stranger to Alex’s body but still, being faced with it like this makes him a bit speechless.

He runs his hands up the length of Alex’s thighs which the man spreads, a silent invitation to all of him.

Henry curses. Alex merely smirks.

How could it be that one person can be both his salvation and damnation? 

Henry lays on his stomach and skims his fingers along Alex’s inner thighs and feels the instant tremor in the man’s legs, watching how much his cock stiffens almost instantly. A pearl of precome gathers at this tip. Henry’s eager to taste it.

He decides to take mercy on them both and takes a hold of Alex’s cock, giving him a few steady strokes before taking him slowly into his mouth.

“Thank God, I was about to start begging,” Alex huffs.

Henry smiles to himself.

“Damn, should have held out a moment longer,” he teases before sucking softly on the tip of Alex’s cock, still taking his time but giving Alex enough to know he’s not being toyed with.

“Henry.” The name falls from his tongue in a fierce growl.

When those rich brown eyes land on him, Henry hardly recognizes them. Gone is the humor, the teasing.

In its place is something so carnal and exact it pierces right through Henry and leaves him aching for more. He opens his mouth further and takes more of Alex. He closes his eyes and moans, letting his tongue swirl on the underside of the man’s cock. He massages his balls, squeezing them here and there as he goes.

Alex’s hips tip upwards and Henry pays close attention to what techniques get the biggest reactions from Alex.

The man is never shy or unresponsive in the bedroom and now more than ever, Henry appreciates how vocal Alex can be.

He repeats his ministrations, all too pleased to hear every sound his actions coax out of Alex.

He takes him down deeper, his jaw slackening to accommodate. Henry feels his eyes water a little, but he keeps going, a deep moan emitting from him as Alex’s cock hits the back of his throat. 

Alex trembles like never before. Henry half expects him to be levitating, suspended in some other plane of existence entirely. It only makes Henry double down. He can taste Alex on his tongue, feel the early traces of his release. Alex is right there teetering on the edge.

Henry keeps his touches deliberate, the tips of his fingers gently skimming across Alex’s inner thighs once more. 

“Fuck,” the man hisses from above. Henry looks at him, feeling himself harden at the sight of Alex covering his mouth with the back of his hand, his fingers curling into a fist.

Noted, Henry thinks to himself, pleased to discover one of Alex’s weaknesses.

“Wait,” Alex chokes out. 

Henry pulls away immediately and takes the time to catch his breath.

“I want…,” Alex rasps. “Fuck, I don’t want to you to stop, but I don’t want to come like this. I want…I don’t know.”

“More?” Henry asks. Alex nods heavily, his legs trembling.

Henry places a kiss on each of Alex’s thighs before getting up on his knees. 

“I need you to be specific then. More could mean anything.”

Heat rushes to Alex’s already flushed face.

“Well, if we’re keeping with the theme of doing things a bit different…I, uh, I kinda want to try something new. I didn’t put it on the syllabus because we didn’t do it that night and, well, I don’t even know if it’s something you’d be into.”

Alex sighs, picking absentmindedly at the bedding.

“This would completely blow past other steps we should probably take first, but it’d be so…it would be everything. God, this is embarrassing as hell.”

Henry places a reassuring hand on Alex’s knee.

“It’s okay. We can talk about it. What’s going on?”

Alex licks his lips and looks away, still picking away  at the bedspread before catching Henry’s eye again.

“Since you’re down there, I mean, I wouldn’t exactly be opposed to feeling your mouth elsewhere…or your tongue. God, don’t make me say it. Is that specific enough?”

Henry quirks a brow. “I think so,” he says, gently slipping a hand under Alex’s ass, his thumb ghosting over his entrance. Henry stares at him, silently asking.

Alex shivers, eyes fluttering for a moment as a look of relief washes over his face.

“Yeah, I wanna feel you there,” he says as he settles back, taking a breath. “I want to know what it’s like. I've seen videos and I’ve…always wondered.”

Henry brushes his thumb against him again as he nods. 

“Let’s not keep you waiting then, love.” 

Alex’s eyes go comically wide. 

“Seriously?”

“Seriously,” Henry echoes. 

This may indeed be more advanced than where they are in Alex’s outline, but Henry reasons it’s a worthy exception. It’d be a different case if the roles were reversed. He knows what he’s doing here and Henry is a man of his word. This is something Alex has been curious about and he’ll provide a safe space for him to explore it.

Henry grabs a pillow and descends again. He positions the pillow under Alex right on his lower back, giving himself better access. Alex takes a deep breath and swallows hard.

“Doing okay?” Henry asks, lightly stroking Alex’s cock.

Alex nods twice. “Yeah, keep going. I’m ready,” he assures. 

Henry smiles at him before turning his attention to Alex’s entrance. He maintains his hold on Alex’s cock and licks experimentally at his rim.

Alex cries out sharply, his cock twitching, a telltale sign of his arousal at this new development.

“Holy shit. That’s it. Again, sweetheart, please,” Alex sputters.

Henry doesn’t hesitate. He licks again, slower this time before swirling his tongue. Alex huffs out a rough breath. Henry repeats the move over and over, taking his time and letting Alex truly experience these new sensations. 

Alex opens beautifully for him. Henry’s own cock feels heavy between his legs but he ignores it, so focused and devoted to the task of pleasuring Alex as he wants. 

His tongue delves in deeper, gently probing now, and greedily searching. Alex’s whole body twitches. He gets a hand in Henry’s hair and tugs.

“Oh, my fucking god,” Alex chokes out, his legs instinctively trying to squeeze shut. But with Henry so firmly in place, the move merely traps Henry further.

He lets out a moan, knowing the vibrations will only heighten the sensations coursing through Alex. He gets his confirmation as Alex lets loose another curse, his breaths raspy and uneven. 

Henry’s hand continues to pump Alex’s shaft. He can feel Alex’s resolve slipping in the way his cock drips and his walls tighten. But Henry doesn’t let up; he takes these cues as motivation to keep going, to dive deeper inside of Alex, leaving every bit of Alex explored. He can feel Alex’s walls clenching more as he gets more vocal. Alex fucks into his fist, back arching a bit before he thrashes against the bed.

A flurry of curses and moans fall from Alex’s lips. Henry’s thumb encircles the head of Alex’s leaking cock as he rolls his tongue inside him once more. He nibbles softly, smirking as Alex cries out again. Henry could spend hours like this, but from Alex’s sharp reactions, he knows it’s only a matter of time before he breaks.

Henry rolls his tongue faster, squeezing Alex just under the head of his cock. Alex shudders hard and grabs a fist full of Henry’s hair, panting and riding his tongue, begging Henry not to stop. 

It’s a pointless request as Henry has absolutely no intentions of slowing down, let alone cutting things short all together. He strokes Alex again, getting lost inside Alex and sending another moan through him.

Alex slams his other hand down against the bed and makes a choked sound before crying out as he reaches his end. His release coats Henry’s fist, makes a mess of his fingers but Henry doesn’t stop. He carries Alex through his orgasm, delighting in the soft broken sounds that escape his mouth as he rides out the wave. 

It’s only when Alex falls back against the bed and stills that Henry resurfaces. 

He finds Alex still catching his breath, his fixed to one spot on the ceiling, eyelashes and cheeks wet. Henry settles into the spot beside Alex and kisses his shoulder lightly. 

“I’m starting to think you aren’t actually real. Or maybe you're like, some kind of sex god that got put in that bar that night to completely wreck me,” Alex muses, turning his head to face him.

Henry laughs. “I’m going to hold you personally responsible when I inevitably turn into a raging egomaniac.”

Alex shakes his head. “You’d deserve to gloat. Fuck, you’re really a pro at all this stuff.”

A smile works its way onto Henry’s face as he props his head up on his clean hand.

He sucks his index finger into his mouth, eyes fixed on Alex’s as he tastes him. Alex stares in stunned silence for a moment before he curses.

“Years at all-boys boarding schools will do that to a person,” Henry says, picking back up the conversation as if nothing has happened. “I’m glad I could make you feel good.”

Alex shakes his head as if to clear it.

“We can safely add that to the list of things I like,” Alex says. “Shit, that’s officially in first place actually.”

Henry laughs. “Welcome to the exciting world of rimming.”

“I really like it here. I’m moving in as we speak.”

Alex laughs breathlessly and searches Henry’s eyes for a moment, a bit of uncertainty in his gaze the longer he stares. He reaches out a hand and traces the curve of Henry’s bottom lip with his knuckles.

Henry wonders if Alex even realizes how intimate his little touches can be. 

“We’re still doing what I want, right?” Alex asks, lowering his hand. 

Henry can still feel his touch like a phantom sensation on his lip.

He nods slowly, curious what Alex has in mind.

“The night is completely yours, yes.”

Alex looks down between Henry’s legs where his sweatpants do absolutely nothing to hide his arousal. 

Alex clenches his jaw, the muscle flexing. He looks away again, back at Henry’s face. His fingertips ghost along Henry’s inner arm instead now. 

Henry can feel goosebumps rise in their wake. Truly, did Alex not know how much he was making him come undone with these subtleties?

“In that case, I want to watch you get yourself off and when you do, I want it to be on me.”

Henry’s brows shoot up to his hairline.

“Is that too much?” Alex asks.

Henry quickly shakes his head to dispel his worries.

“Not at all. I’m just surprised. I didn’t see that request coming.”

Alex laughs deeply. 

“Hey, man. I haven’t stopped thinking about you touching yourself since that one magical night. You can’t give me an experience like that and not expect me to want a repeat.”

Henry laughs. “I never said I had any objections,” he counters smoothly, already reaching for his waistband and slipping out of his sweats and boxer briefs in one fell swoop.

“In fact, I’d be all too happy and willing to oblige.”

He switches his position and straddles Alex’s waist, settling on top of him, his messy right hand already on his own slick cock. It’s filthy, but Henry hardly cares and judging by how hard Alex swallows and stares up at him, the other man doesn’t mind either.

Henry doesn’t bat an eyelash as he sets a slow rhythm on himself and stares back, anchoring his free hand to the center of Alex’s abdomen.

“This is so fucking hot,” Alex murmurs, rubbing circles against Henry’s thighs at once.

Henry laughs softly before growing serious again, keeping his eyes trained on Alex’s face. He rolls his hips over him, moaning at the feel of Alex’s spent cock against his ass.

The way Alex looks at him, so intent with sheer wonder, it makes it easy to slip up and forget that this isn’t something Henry gets to keep.

“You’re so goddamn gorgeous like this, Henry. Seriously. Shit. So, so beautiful and good for me.”

Henry shivers at that, basking in the praise. He grinds once more against Alex’s cock, biting back on his lower lip.

Alex reaches a hand forward and tugs Henry’s lip free with his thumb.

“I want to hear you when you lose it. Don’t get quiet on me. I want to know how badly this gets to you, sweetheart.”

“Christ, Alex,” he mutters, feeling the command squarely between his legs.

Henry teases his slit, hissing at how sensitive the flesh is. He lets out a moan unabashedly as he trembles.

“Good. Just like that,” Alex whispers and Henry has no clue how the power dynamic has shifted, but he feels so desperate to keep hearing Alex talk to him like this. 

He can see the moment it fully clicks too in Alex’s eyes. That wicked smirk Henry has been obsessed with since day one makes its way onto Alex’s lips.

“You like that, don’t you? Being good for me? Putting on a show only I can see?”

Henry gasps, his hand moving faster along his shaft. His throat feels dry, his heart racing, but he doesn’t let up for even a second. He nods obediently and whimpers in response.

“Yeah, I can tell you do,” Alex continues, rubbing Henry’s thighs again. 

A keening noise slips from Henry’s lips. 

“You like being all mine. Having me watch you. It drives you crazy, doesn’t it? I bet you want me to touch you. But I know you can continue being good for me. I know you can get yourself there. Go ahead. Show me how good you can be, sweetheart.”

Alex’s hands find their way to his ass and grip Henry tightly. Henry arches his back and cries out, his hips rolling once more, cock leaking. He encircles his tip with his thumb, staring into Alex’s hungry eyes as his palm slides up and down his throbbing shaft.

“I’m so close,” Henry pants.

“I know. Let it out. You’ve been so good. You’ve earned this. Come for me. Nice and hard, baby, right on me.”

It’s the pet name most of all that sends Henry careening off the edge. He moans Alex’s name as he comes, his body shaking with the sheer force of it.

His release paints streaks across Alex’s stomach and chest. Henry can feel his face flush seeing just how hard his orgasm hits, the rivulets of his finish thick against Alex's skin. But Alex’s darkened eyes eliminate any fear or concern that this is all too much.

Alex sits up just enough to kiss him. It’s heated and sloppy and Henry can’t get enough of it. He strokes Alex’s cheek as they kiss, moaning into the man’s mouth. It takes every bit of his willpower to pull away.

“Maybe we should add that to the syllabus?” Alex says. “We kinda slipped into new territory there with dirty talk at the end. Are you okay? I’m sorry if I went too far.”

Henry leans in and kisses Alex twice. “Not in the least,” he assures. 

“We’ll call that extra credit, but yes. We can cover that down the line if you want, but I’m telling you right now, you don’t actually need instruction there. As you saw firsthand, it’s another thing I enjoy and you’re damn good at it. Scary good. Don’t be afraid to lean into that with me. It's fully encouraged.”

He smiles at Alex who looks relieved. Henry kisses his cheek. He looks down at the complete mess of their bodies, perhaps more aroused than he ought to be at the sight.

“Come on. Let’s get you cleaned up.”

“Let’s get us cleaned up. Shower with me? I wouldn’t say no to round two in there,” Alex says, wiggling his brows.

Henry shakes his head in disbelief.

“It’s going to be a long night, isn’t it?”

Alex searches his eyes, his head tipping to the side, his curls falling over his eyes. It’s far more adorable than a scenario like this should be, but it makes Henry weak; he knows he can’t resist Alex when the man looks like this. He suspects Alex is aware too as his perfect mouth curls into a smirk and he replies.

“Yeah, but I promise, you’re going to love every second of it.”

~*~*~

Memphis, TN Comic and Fantasy Convention Day 1

“How far are you into the show?” Alex as he sits cross-legged on his hotel bed.

Henry sits at the desk in Alex’s room with his laptop out, taking advantage of the fact that they’re still wired from traveling. They arrived in Memphis a mere four hours ago ahead of tomorrow’s convention. It only gave them enough time to grab a bite and scrub the smell and germs of the airport and Uber off themselves before checking in.

The pace at which Alex hops on flights and gets settled into new cities is mind-boggling, but Henry is grateful that at least this time around, they’re actually in the same time zone from the last city they were in. 

He has to admit, it is exciting. But he can’t help but to wonder what it would be like doing this alone like Alex ordinarily does. 

He makes a note to himself in his document to ask Alex about that at some point.

“Just started series three,” Henry says. “I’ve been live texting Pez. Rather, he’s been ambushing me with messages, asking after my progress. He still can’t believe I’m touring with you. Crescent Valley was so major to him when we were at school. He’d beg me to watch, but I never did and somehow I managed to miss one of the greatest cultural phenomenons of our generation.”

Alex smiles. “You ever think about how differently that night in New York would have gone had you known who I was?”

Henry pauses and considers how to answer. After getting the shock of his life in going to that lunch and finding himself seated with none other than the man he’d slept with the night before who, on top of that, turned out to be a celebrity was (and still remained) hard to fully wrap his mind around.

Henry’s simply glad for the fact that he and Alex have been able to make the most of it, to actually become friends despite the rocky start.

“I have. But I think I prefer the course it actually took. Makes for a more compelling story,” he says. 

Henry falters for a moment.

“If I had recognized you though, do you think you would have still gone through with it all?”

Alex smiles thoughtfully. “It wouldn’t have changed how I felt…or what I wanted with you. I wouldn’t have been able to resist.”

Henry searches his eyes and feels his heart beat a little faster at Alex’s candor as he tries not to think too heavily on the implications of Alex’s words. Whatever the risk might have been, Alex deemed him worth it.

He licks his lips and forces himself to look away, to break the spell of Alex’s eyes.

“Let’s talk about the early days of your career,” Henry says, grabbing his phone and opening the voice app to record. 

“According to your Wiki page, you got your start doing commercials as a child in Austin. Is that true?” Henry asks.

“As you can imagine after looking at me now, I was freaking adorable as a kid. I think I had too much personality and energy to contain inside the house without driving my family crazy. I’ve always felt comfortable in front of people and playing pretend. It seemed like a natural fit. I could lose myself in a role. During the times my parents’ fights got to be too loud, I’d just go into the backyard and dream up another life for myself time and time again.”

Alex shifts on the bed, grabbing a pillow and dropping it into his lap.

“I booked a few local spots and moved on to theater. That opened up a whole new avenue and I think that’s when I fully realized just how much I loved inhabiting a character and getting to work off other people’s energy. With commercials, it was a few lines here and there. You’d film that one day, maybe two depending on the situation and then you’d move on. But with the stage, I got to live and breathe those characters on a daily basis. It was straight up magic.”

Henry smiles.

“What prompted you to then find a bigger stage? A life in California doing television and film?”

Alex mulls it over for a moment.

“I started to feel like a big fish in a little pond. And I don’t mean to sound like an asshole, like theater was somehow beneath me or something. I’ll always love stagework and honestly, I’d love to return to it someday. I just…felt a calling elsewhere at that time as I got older. I felt myself being pulled out there.”

Alex grows quiet for a moment as he travels back in his memories.

“It was an open call for Crescent Valley,” Alex says. “Looking back on it, I honestly still can’t believe that from the thousands of guys who auditioned, they saw something unique in me to say, ‘yeah, that’s who this show needs in this role’. I’ve never been one to believe in fate and all that stuff, but when something life-changing like this happens to you, it’s kinda hard to rule it out completely.”

Henry smiles to himself. The action must not go unnoticed.

“What?” Alex asks.

Henry looks at him and shrugs.

“Nothing. It’s interesting hearing you talk sometimes. You’re a bit of a romantic.”

Alex seems to consider this for a moment.

“Certain things bring it out of me.”

Henry wonders if the same could be said about people.

Henry gets them back on track and he digs further into asking questions about Alex’s career, his foray into film as well. Alex is such a great conversationalist, his stories always laced with humor and interesting asides. It makes Henry all the more excited about working deeper on the preliminary pages and delving further with his voice for these segments. 

They talk for another hour but it hardly feels laborious or tiring. It hardly even feels like work at all. Ultimately Henry puts a pin in their talk when he notes the hour. It’s creeping close to midnight and Alex has an early morning phone interview ahead of the con and Henry wants to work on transcribing this conversation.

“Calling it a night so soon?” Alex says, as if he doesn’t have a busy day ahead of himself.

Henry laughs and swivels around to look at him. Alex is still seated on the bed, but his arms are outstretched behind him. It’s a casual pose, though something in his eyes betrays the effect. 

“Do I sense the next item on the syllabus coming to the forefront with mere minutes to spare before a brand new day?” 

Henry has the document cemented in his mind. He knows exactly what lesson is next.

Oral.

Alex shrugs. “I’m not tired. Are you?”

Henry can’t resist taking the bait. He can pull an all-nighter after this.

“I’ll defer to you. How would you like the practical to go?”

Alex smiles, his expression a bit thoughtful.

“In Minnesota, you were incredible. Bold even,” he continues. “I’ve been wanting to put into practice the things you did to me and I’d love to figure out what makes you tick too.”

Henry is certain his face is red. He can feel warmth flood his cheeks, curious as to how often Alex allows himself to picture it.

“If that’s what you want, then yes.”

Alex looks at him, shaking his head slightly.

“Is it something you’d want?” Alex counters, moving the pillow off of himself.

Henry mirrors his stare.

“Of course,” he says, seeing little use in pretending otherwise.

“Then let me hear you say it plainly. I won’t lay a single finger on you unless I know you want it too.”

Henry’s heart races, beats right up to his throat. He keeps his face as neutral as he can as he speaks though, inside, his mind is a riot.

“I want you on your knees for me, Alex. I want you to taste me.”

Alex breathes a little heavier but he doesn’t say a word as he gets up and crosses the small space between them to where Henry sits at the desk. He settles on Henry’s lap and immediately Henry feels his own cock stiffen in response. Alex’s confidence is extremely attractive. His body can’t help but to react to it.

“I know how much you like the buildup,” Alex says quietly, running a hand slowly up under Henry’s shirt, his palm skimming his bare skin.

Henry shivers. Alex merely smirks.

“I’ll give you what you want. I’ll take my time with you.”

He leans in and kisses Henry, his mouth inviting and all too familiar. Henry feels his body relax further as they kiss. Alex’s thumb rubs against his nipple and Henry trembles in response. He can feel Alex smiling once more against his lips before doing it again on the other side. Henry can feel the delicate skin grow harder, among other things.

From his position on his lap, Henry knows Alex can feel it too.

Alex’s touch is feather-light as his hand brushes Henry between his legs for the briefest of seconds. It’s downright tortuous, but Henry wouldn’t have it any other way. He kisses Alex with renewed vigor, his right hand slipping into the man’s hair and pulling him closer. He opens his mouth to Alex, letting their tongues meet. Alex’s hand slips under Henry’s shirt once more, fingernails scratching teasingly down across his skin. Henry’s hips jerk forward on their own accord.

Alex has learned what he likes so well now, keeping up his promise from before and not rushing matters. Henry deepens the kiss, moaning deeply as his fingers continue curling in Alex’s hair and his tongue ensnares Alex’s.

Henry craves more and Alex seems to understand as he grinds down on him. Henry is almost unbearably hard.

Alex pulls away slowly just then and settles down on his knees, peering right up at Henry through his lashes all the while.

Henry shakes his head in disbelief of how gorgeous Alex looks. There’s something sweet yet tantalizing in his gaze. It completely wrecks Henry already.

Alex undoes Henry’s jeans and slips his cock out. His face feels hot Alex takes a hold of him and licks a languid strip up the underside from root to tip.

“Alex,” Henry gasps, clutching the arms of the chair. 

He hadn’t been expecting this level of assurance from him right out the gate. Henry doesn’t think he will need to guide Alex much—if at all— through this lesson if he’s hitting the ground running like this.

Alex’s face is the picture of innocence, as if he has no clue the kind of frenzy he’s causing to flare up inside Henry now. He repeats the move and Henry thinks he’s prepared for it, but he’s quickly thrown off in the best way as Alex’s lips wrap around the head of his cock and he begins to suck.

Henry’s knuckles turn even whiter as he grips the chair tighter still as he studies the way Alex’s pretty mouth looks wrapped around him.

“Someone’s been doing some studying on the side I see,” he manages to say, his voice wavering.

Alex smirks and it’s so unbelievably sexy to see the mischievous sparkle in his eyes. He slips Henry out of his mouth.

“Oh, you do not want to see my browser history,” he says before taking him in again.

Henry sucks in a breath. “Actually, I think I would rather enjoy a peek at that.”

Alex laughs before sobering up and focusing his attention once more. He pumps his hand along the hilt of Henry’s cock as his tongue swirls around the head. Henry feels overstimulated in a good way, his whole body buzzing as Alex works him over.

Alex plants his left hand on Henry’s thigh and takes in more of his length a bit quickly.

“Nice and slow, darling,” Henry gently reminds him. “You’re doing so well,” he continues, running his fingers through Alex’s curls. 

Alex slows his pace again and sets a rhythm as his head angles this way and that way, moaning deeply as he sucks Henry off.

“There you go,” Henry says softly, cock throbbing at the attention to it. “It’s like your mouth was made just for me.”

Alex glances up at him, eyelashes casting shadows against his sharp cheekbones. Henry can barely handle the sight of his perfect full lips wrapped around his cock. It takes everything in Henry not to thrust forward and fuck into the wet heat of his mouth. It’s a close thing as Alex blinks prettily and takes him in just a bit more, clearly testing his own limits.

Alex’s tongue is relentless, snaking around his length with ease. Henry murmurs continued praise, his body feeling limp as Alex tends to him.

After a moment, Alex slips off of him, but his hand is right there without missing a beat, jerking him off as his tongue laps against one of his balls. 

Henry jerks forward involuntarily. Alex peers up at him, a question in his eyes. Henry merely brushes his curls off his forehead.

“Keep going, love. That feels amazing.”

Alex nods once and licks again before popping one of his balls into his mouth. Henry groans, grip tightening on Alex’s curls as he gently rolling his hips. Alex gives the same treatment to his other ball before getting his glorious mouth back on Henry’s cock.

Henry shudders feeling Alex’s tongue run along his shaft once more. He feels like he could just about explode.

“Alex, I’m not going to last much longer,” he warns, the pressure in the pit of his stomach reaching a fever pitch.

Alex doesn’t break his stride, not even a little. It’s almost as if he hasn’t heard Henry at all. His head bobs as he sucks him off, his tongue brushing here and there. The combination feels so good, Henry can only surrender to it further.

“Alex,” he cautions again more firmly, but the man doesn’t relent. He merely locks eyes with Henry and slackens his jaw a little as he kneads Henry’s balls.

Henry bites back on his lower lip at Alex’s tightening grip, his tongue pressing a sensitive spot just under the head of his cock and Henry loses it instantly.

His body shudders as he comes, a soft laugh falling from his lips. His instinct is to close his eyes and ride it out, but he refuses to deprive himself of the sight of Alex nestled between his legs, dutifully taking him, tasting him as requested.

The sight is downright obscene. Alex swallows down what he can, but his mouth is a mess as Henry’s release drips down from the corners. He can’t look away, especially with how Alex smirks and stares back almost defiantly.

Henry takes a breath as he comes back down to earth.

Alex merely wipes at his lips and chin with the back of his hand. 

“Come here,” Henry says, his voice completely shot as he pats his leg twice.

Alex gets to his feet shakily and perches in Henry’s lap again. He looks to Henry expectantly, searching his eyes. 

Henry cups his face, eyes drifting to Alex’s mouth.

“Was that okay? Should I have done anything differently?” Alex asks, wrapping an arm around Henry’s shoulders.

Henry leans in and kisses him deeply, tasting himself on Alex’s tongue as he explores his mouth. It only drives him madder. Alex gets his fingers in his hair, kissing him back roughly.

“I guess I was pretty decent then if you’ve got no compliments, huh?” Alex remarks in between kisses.

Henry laughs in spite of himself.

“You’re an absolute menace. Did you know that?”

“I’m sure I have no idea what you mean. I’m a goddamn saint.”

Henry rolls his eyes and kisses the tip of Alex’s nose.

“Shall I get you off?” he asks. “You must be like a rock right now.”

Alex smiles. “It’s nothing I can’t handle in the shower.”

Henry makes a wounded sound in the back of his throat at the mental image.

Alex cackles and kisses him, taking a hold of Henry’s hand and slipping it into his pants. Henry shivers as he grasps him. 

It’s just as he suspected. He’s so hard and wet, Henry knows it won’t take much to get Alex to finish. He brushes his thumb back and forth along the man’s shaft. Alex’s eyes flutter at the sensation. He hums softly, lightly combing his fingers through the hair at the back of Henry’s head.

“I mean, I guess you could do it for me. That wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world,” he muses.

Henry laughs and kisses him again, stroking his cock in earnest as they get lost in each other. He can’t get enough of the way Alex responds to him, hips jerking forward, moans pouring from his mouth, goosebumps blooming on his skin all because of him.

Surely, he thinks, they both have lost their minds for getting tangled up in this arrangement. But Henry is so grateful for it. Once upon a time, he used to be the most straight-laced individual in the world. Now that he knows this life of recklessness, he’s not entirely sure he could ever go back completely.

Henry breaks their kiss and begins sucking on Alex’s clavicle.

Alex all out fucks into his fist, soft grunts emitting from him. Henry is obsessed with it all. He bites down on Alex’s collarbone and sucks harder, letting the tip of his tongue skim along the spot he’s bitten.

Alex moans his name and Henry quickens his speed against his shaft, tightening his grip as Alex bucks forward over and over again until his breath catches. He goes flying over the edge and Henry diligently helps him through the aftershocks, kissing up to his neck, along his jawline, and back to his lips.

“Dammit, Henry,” Alex hisses against his mouth, taking a few heavy breaths. “I can’t get enough of you.”

Henry rests his forehead on Alex’s and pecks his lips once.

Henry spots a few Crescent Valley fans in t-shirts referencing the show. Admittedly Henry still hasn’t started the series, but before he hopped his flight out of JFK, Pez spent the vast majority of their last few days together giving Henry a pretty substantial rundown of the essentials, including some cast trivia. Most notable from the recap was learning that Alex had dated one of his co-stars, Nora Holleran, during season two. Henry decided it was none of his business– only after doing a Google search on her.

Even with the knowledge that the show resonated with so many people while it aired, it’s strange to reconcile it with the fact that the guy he met on a whim at a bar is part of such a cultural force.

After a few moments, a woman takes to the stage, introducing herself as the moderator. The audience is ravenous as she introduces the panelists and Henry almost goes deaf from the screams Alex earns when his name is called.

Henry studies Alex as he crosses the stage, waving to fans and putting a hand to his heart in appreciation for the warm reception. The large monitors on either side of the stage zoom in on his face and the sincere gratitude Alex feels is plain as day in his eyes.

“Alright, let’s get started, shall we?” the moderator says to kick things off.

Alex in his element during the panel, magnetic really. Even though he’s one of four panelists, it’s so clear to see how he effortlessly draws people in. 

Henry takes out his notebook, hoping to glean something in any of Alex’s responses to the questions directed at him that can be a kernel of an idea they can turn into the core of this book.

He can’t shake Alex’s words during their lunch with Zahra, the way it seemed that Alex sincerely wanted his book to be about something real. 

Vanity cash grab celeb autobiographies were a dime a dozen. Henry figured for people who lived so heavily in the spotlight, it probably felt like the natural progression of things. But with Alex and his team being so adamant in their search, scouring through profiles in hopes of finding the right person to pen Alex’s story, he had to believe this book would actually stand for something other than more dollars in their pockets.

There isn’t much that Henry is able to take away for research other than noting the way people gravitate towards Alex. More than once, he’d actually seen people in the audience quite literally shift to the edge of their seats as he spoke.

When the panel is over, Henry fights against the current of attendees to make his way backstage. He presents his badge to the man at the entrance who gives it a once-over before deeming it to be authentic and ushering Henry through the curtain.

Alex is easy to spot, holding court just as he’d done on stage before, this time with a small audience of just the moderator and his fellow panelists. He’s got a water bottle in his hands, preparing to take a sip when he catches sight of Henry instantly and politely excuses himself from the group.

“You survived day one. How’d you like it?” he asks.

“Your world is very different from mine, but it’s pretty cool,” Henry admits.

“Good, I'm glad to hear it.”

There’s a lull as Alex looks him over and Henry suddenly feels oddly self-conscious and small. Seeing this side of Alex, the sheer star power, is a bit overwhelming.

“You're done for the day, right? I took another look at the itinerary this morning. You’ve got the signing tomorrow, yes?”

Alex nods. “Yeah, I’m all yours starting now.” The man’s face instantly flushes. “You know what I mean.”

Henry offers up a smile that feels more like a white flag. 

“We should head out,” Alex says.

He moves away and heads back to the others in the room, making his parting remarks before touching Henry’s elbow and guiding him to a set of double doors he hadn’t initially noticed when he entered. Henry is treated to a glimpse of the convention center’s underbelly, the private exit that leads them to a secluded area outside on the street level.

Henry is sure it’s probably all in his mind, but now that it’s back to just him and Alex, away from the adoring fans and bright lights of a main stage, the man standing before him now is someone else entirely again. Henry wonders if he’ll ever be able to wrap his head around the two versions of Alex that exist in this world.

“There’s a park not too far from here. Do you want to walk around for a bit?” Alex asks.

It’s a random ask but Henry is glad for it. He’s not sure what to do with himself as they try and find their rhythm around each other.

They make it to the park a few minutes later and walk alongside the edge of a small pond.

Henry turns to attempt starting a conversation and it seems as if Alex had the same thought too; they bump arms immediately and both rush to apologize.

Henry sighs and stops walking.

“I have to ask. Are you still sure about this?” 

Alex’s eyebrows furrow. 

“What do you mean? This walk?”

Henry crosses his arms and gives him a dry look.

“Ah. You being on this project then,” Alex says.

Henry nods. 

Alex looks at him. “Of course I am. I won’t lie, it is a bit of a mindfuck when I stop and really consider it. I’m still trying to figure out how to be around you. But my opinion on your work? My decision to collaborate with you? That hasn’t changed. Not one bit. So, yeah, we had a good night. Great conversation and even better sex,” he muses. “But I can forget it if you can.”

Henry snorts out a laugh in surprise that he quickly tries in vain to cover up as a sneeze. Alex, rightfully, doesn’t buy it though Henry wishes desperately that he would. He hates the way Alex’s face falls. 

“Are you…do you mean you didn’t enjoy it? That I wasn’t…,” Alex trails off.

Henry’s basic functions betray him and his mouth merely opens and closes like a landlocked fish struggling for breath.

In the end, no response is an answer within itself and Henry watches the varying degrees of what can only be described as horror play out across Alex’s face.

Goodbye tour, goodbye contract, Henry thinks. All gone before it even truly got started.

For a man that writes for a living, Henry falls short on what to say. How could he possibly salvage this now?

“I…it…,” he flounders. 

Bang up job, Henry, he internally chides.

“Oh, my god. Oh, my fucking god,” Alex whispers to himself. “Crap, that’s why you snuck out then, isn’t it?”

Henry winces. While that is an astute, wholly accurate description of what he did last week, hearing it so plainly — and from Alex’s lips no less— just makes it sound that much harsher.

“Maybe it was just an off night. It happens sometimes. But look, we don’t have to talk about it. Like you said, we can both forget it ever happened. Today can be our official day one.”

Alex shakes his head, refusing to let it go.

“No. What didn’t you like about it?”

“Alex, come on. Seriously. We don’t have to get into it.”

Alex takes a step closer.

“Please? I want to know what I did wrong.”

Henry frowns.

“That’s harsh; don’t frame it like that. Just think of it as…areas of improvement.”

Alex crosses his arms. “That isn’t much better, but I guess you’re right.” Alex pauses. “Okay then, what do I need to work on?”

Henry groans and looks up at the sky.

“I…how is this happening right now?” Henry mutters to himself, rubbing his forehead and turning his eyes to the water.

He gets a wild fantasy of jumping into the pond and hiding in its depths to avoid this conversation. Could he hold his breath long enough to wait Alex out? He’d be willing to test that hypothesis if it meant even five seconds away from this talk.

When he looks back at Alex, the man’s eyes are unwavering and Henry’s instantly transported to the night in question. To how wide eyed and earnest Alex had been after they had sex and he checked in. It makes something in his chest crack a little, enough to put a hole in the wall he hoped to build around the truth.

“Well, the handjob was a bit…rigid. And when you were working to open me up, that felt a touch awkward. And then when you were actually inside me, it was rushed and uh, a tad repetitive. You were enthusiastic, which was nice, but I couldn’t quite mirror that.”

He hopes his answer is diplomatic, but he knows there’s simply no easy way to say any of this. 

Alex’s brows knit together deeply and it feels like a lifetime before he speaks again.

“So…sex. You’re telling me I’m just straight up bad at sex as a whole?”

Henry groans and slaps the palm of his hand against his forehead.

“Like I said, it could have been an off night. We were drinking, we were both overexcited. The room was cursed or perhaps I really was, remember? There’s a lot at play here.”

Alex is quiet again, too quiet for Henry’s likings. Henry awkwardly scratches the side of his nose and rocks slightly on the balls of his feet as Alex stares off at nothing before turning his gaze back on Henry.

“I’ll take this into consideration. Thank you, Henry. I appreciate your honesty.”

It’s clinical and closed off and Henry wishes he could take back the last few minutes. But the truth is out there, the ball squarely in Alex’s court and Henry can’t help the sinking feeling that he’s about to lose it all.

~*~*~

Rose City Con

Day 2

Much like yesterday, Alex continues to be incredible with fans. It’s only a signing today, but Alex’s energy is on one hundred for each and every person that comes his way. He poses for pictures and makes good conversation with fans. He asks them questions, learns a bit about each of them. It’s clear to see the knack he has for making everyone feel like they’re having a unique, truly personal interaction with him.

Several people come up to him already in tears and overwhelmed, but Alex doesn’t seem fazed by it at all. Henry is impressed with the way Alex puts them all at ease in no time, cracking jokes as he signs merch.

Henry has no clue how Alex manages to keep his enthusiasm going for hundreds of people. The fact that this is only the first city makes his head spin. He’s not even the one engaging with people and yet Henry feels exhausted merely watching Alex in action.

Henry barely managed to sleep last night. Each time he closed his eyes, he was brought right back to the water’s edge with Alex, replaying every painstaking moment of their conversation. 

There was no time to talk about it this morning. The last thing Henry wanted to do was throw a wrench in Alex’s day when he had this signing scheduled.

Looking at Alex now, it makes Henry commend actors for their ability to truly compartmentalize and put their focus where it needs to be.

Once the signing wraps and the final Crescent Valley fan is off with a bag full of newly inked merch, Henry sees the first crack in Alex’s mask. His shoulders sag a little and he rolls his neck from side to side before standing.

He hops down from the slightly raised platform he was seated on. Henry walks towards him without really thinking about it.

“Are you heading back to the hotel now?” Alex asks.

Henry cocks his head to the side, adjusting the strap of his bag.

“I was going to…unless, do you have something else you need me to shadow you on?”

Alex shakes his head.

“No. I was hoping we could talk.” 

Henry looks around. There are still some stragglers from other signing lines though they’re out of earshot.

“We can go back together,” Alex says decidedly. 

They take a car service back to their hotel and Henry is all too relieved once they’re outside again. The ride over was silent and heavy with the weight of whatever Alex wanted to say but couldn’t in the moment.

All that free time merely left Henry with a thirty minute window to dream up scenarios of what Alex wanted to discuss. Every single one of them ended in him being fired and pulled from the tour.

“Can we go to your room?” Alex asks.

Henry nods stiffly. He figures maybe it’s for the best. At least he’d be able to pack his things immediately after Alex chewed him out and sent him on his merry way back across the country to New York.

For now, three thousand miles don’t separate them, merely three feet as they head up the elevator. 

A feeling of déjà vu sweeps through Henry, but this evening couldn’t be any more different than the night they met. Instead of crowding each other’s space and making out, they keep enough distance that their clothes don’t even come close enough to touching, never mind any other parts of them.

Henry lets them into his room and pockets his keycard as he steps inside. The door slamming shut behind Alex sounds ominous though Henry fully recognizes that’s probably his irrational brain conjuring the sense of foreboding.

“So…you wanted to talk,” he says, toeing off his shoes and setting them neatly along the wall. The sooner they got this over with, the better.

Alex nods, crossing his arms against his chest, his hands holding firm to his biceps. The positioning makes him look so small suddenly, vulnerable even. It’s such a sharp contrast to the energy Alex had with fans not too long ago. 

The enigma of Alex Claremont-Diaz continued to baffle him.

“After we spoke yesterday, I took some time to think about everything. I decided to do some research,” Alex says. “I went back to past partners to see if they shared your point of view.”

This isn’t at all where Henry thought this conversation was going. All the same, he plays along, still bracing for the worst. This could all well be a roundabout way of him getting the axe.

“And what were the results of your findings?” he asks.

“They were inconclusive. They all said they never faked it with me which got me thinking again. There’s a factor to consider here that varies from the others.”

Henry's confusion must register on his face because Alex sighs and rubs his face.

“I’ve recently…uncovered something about myself that probably should have been super obvious to me. But hey, you know what they say about hindsight.” 

Alex groans in frustration at himself.

“Can you, like, just face the wall or something? I’d really rather not have to look at you when I say what I’m about to.” 

“Your ridiculousness truly knows no bounds, does it?” Henry huffs but Alex quickly levels him with a glare.

Henry holds his hands up in defense, knowing a lost cause when he sees one.

“Fine, fine,” he says, turning away. 

He can see Alex in the reflection of the TV screen and a part of him feels guilty for not owning up to this fact when sees the tension in the man’s shoulders and watches as Alex shakes his hands as if warding something off.

“My past partners were all women. It’s come to my attention in recent weeks that I’m bi and the night we hooked up…that may or may not have been the first time I had sex with a guy. So maybe, just maybe, I wasn’t stellar at it for what I think is a pretty valid reason when you think about it.”

Henry turns back so suddenly the soles of his clothed feet scrape against the carpet. He’ll think of the rugburn later, but for now, there are bigger things to focus on.

“Alex,” he says, unsure of where to even go next. His mind is racing so quickly, it’s hard to make sense of anything right now, not with Alex’s confession laying bare before him. 

“Your shoulders barely even fit through doorways so I don’t want your head getting big too,” Alex quips, “but…I wanted to be with you that night. It felt like nothing else really mattered to me except getting into bed with you because we really vibed and I wanted to see where it could go. And I know that sounds totally lame and cheesy and probably pathetic as hell or whatever, but it’s true.”

Alex rolls his eyes at himself, stuffing his hands in the back pockets of his jeans.

“This doesn’t have to be a big deal. Hell, it doesn’t even have to be a thing, period.”

“Alex,” Henry says again. This time, something in his voice must stand out because the other man finally stops talking and looks directly at him.

Henry holds his gaze for a moment, needing his words to ring clear.

“It should be a thing because it is in fact a big deal, contrary to what you might think of the matter. Coming into your sexuality, it can be a lot mentally and emotionally. Add in making physical strides…you took a major step that night. That sort of thing isn’t easy to do.”

Alex huffs out a terse laugh.

“It was a swing and a miss.”

“I’ll pretend that’s a cricket reference instead of the tragic baseball one I’m sure it was intended to be.”

Alex’s lips quirk into a reluctant smile just as Henry was hoping it would.

“The only cricket I’ll acknowledge is Jiminy,” he says.

Henry laughs. “I’ll allow that inane response. We’ve got more important things to discuss.”

Alex sighs and takes a seat at the edge of the bed, his head lobbing back as he looks up at the ceiling. All it does is expose his smooth neck and Henry looks away before the sight gets the better of him.

He follows Alex over and sits beside him, his hands resting on the comforter on either side of him. Alex doesn’t rush to speak which Henry grows a little concerned with. Alex is hardly ever quiet or still. Seeing him like this now, Henry can practically hear the whirlwind of rushing thoughts. 

“I should hope that by now, you know you can be honest with me. That’s quite literally what I’m here for. Whatever’s on your chest, you can say and it’d be completely safe. Let your conscience be your guide and all that.”

“God, I hate you,” Alex says, but there’s no bite to his words, especially as he smiles softly and rests his head against Henry’s shoulder.

“Thanks for being so cool about this. Part of me is still not entirely convinced I won’t be struck dead from embarrassment later but, if I had to get news like this from anyone…I sure as shit am glad it was you.”

“You’ve got nothing to be embarrassed about. This just explains a lot. I’m sure you’ll only get better from here on out, now that you know.”

Alex sits up and snorts a laugh.

“And how many guys will I have to fuck until I get it just right?”

“Is that a riddle? A rhetorical question? Some kind of demented R-rated Goldilocks reference?”

“I’m genuinely asking here,” Alex says sincerely, enough to get Henry to quiet down. “What if I never figure it out and I’m just this trash partner for dudes going forward? How many is standard for it to, you know, click?”

Henry smiles sympathetically. “I can’t answer that for you.” Alex frowns, but Henry continues. “It could be ten or it could be as little as one. It’s different for everybody. You just need to get more comfortable with it.”

Alex’s brows furrow, his lips pinching slightly before he looks away. It’s almost an identical look to his expression that night when he was taking his time in touching Henry for the first time.

“What are you thinking?” Henry asks now, unlike that night. They’re well past that stage of being tentative.

Alex opens and closes his mouth before shaking his head.

“Nothing. It’s nothing,” he says, getting up from the bed and running a hand through his curls.

Henry rises to his feet too as Alex turns back to him and speaks suddenly.

“I’m hungry. You hungry? What do we think the room service situation is like here, hmm? I’m guessing high volumes of quinoa and other rabbit foods. A damn shame. I weep in Texas barbecue. Fuck, what I wouldn’t give for some good barbacoa right now,” he prattles on as he tries to sidestep Henry.

Henry gently catches hold of his arm and stops him in his tracks. Alex sighs defeatedly and looks up at him.

“Maybe we’ll get to a point where I’ll be able to read your mind, but until then, I’d really like to know what you’re thinking,” Henry says. “Please.”

Alex sighs again. “Well, when you ask so nicely.”

Henry lets go of him then and holds his gaze. The stalemate ends as Alex collects his thoughts and courage.

“I was thinking, maybe you’re onto something with that whole ‘one person’ thing. Like…I don’t know, maybe that one person could be you? You could, maybe, teach me. Show me the ropes. Or at the very least, explain how I could be better. You know, give me pointers and stuff…if you’d even go for that.”

Henry’s jaw drops slightly, his blood rushing and pounding in his ears. For all his ribbing and joking before, Henry can tell Alex is completely serious now.

“You know, I can’t read your mind either, right? You’re gonna have to say something. Ideally right this second because if I thought I was out on a limb before, I’m freefalling right now and spiraling is not cool or sexy,” Alex says.

Henry blinks twice, letting Alex’s words fully sink in.

“Wait…you’d want to…with me again?”

Alex rolls his eyes and throws his hands up.

“I feel like you deserve a redo. And besides, do you see any other hot British men around here who know my secret shame?”

Henry startles out a laugh.

“You shouldn’t be ashamed and we British men do not travel in packs.”

“Tell that to the Redcoats. British men traveling in packs,” Alex repeats and shudders. “No good ever came of that. Just open any history book at random.”

“My god, do you ever stop talking?”

“Usually when my mouth is occupied in other ways.”

Henry quirks a brow.

“Down, boy. Get your mind out of the gutter. I was absolutely talking about when I’m drinking coffee or eating food or—“

Henry puts his hands on either side of Alex’s face.

“For the love of God, can you be quiet for two seconds so that I may think?”

Alex mirrors his raised brow.

“Holy shit, you’re actually gonna consider this?”

“Did you think I wouldn’t?” Henry shakes his head and lowers his hands. “I mean, yes, there are a hundred and one reasons why we shouldn’t. Chief among them being that we’re here for business not pleasure.”

“But seeing as though we kinda shot that to hell without meaning to…,” Alex supplies. “I freaking love loopholes. I really do.”

“Why doesn’t that surprise me?”

Henry looks up at the ceiling briefly before shaking his head.

“If we do this, we’re going to have to be very, very careful. I don’t want to jeopardize our working relationship. This book has to always come first.”

“Of course.”

Henry sits once more on the bed, Alex stepping close to him with his arms crossed against his chest.

“If this were to happen, we’d need to establish some ground rules. No staying overnight in each other’s rooms. If, for any reason, one of us wants to call it off—,”

“No questions asked. No awkwardness,” Alex says. “Simply not wanting to anymore would be reason enough.”

Henry nods. “Yeah, exactly.” He purses his lips. “And it won’t be a daily thing either.”

Alex scoffs and puts his hands on his hips.

“Jesus, do you think I’m insatiable? You’re hot, but I promise you, I can in fact exercise some self-control.”

“In the short time that I’ve known you, I must admit that’s coming as quite a revelation, but I suppose I’ll have to take your word for it.”

Alex rolls his eyes and smiles softly, his face a bit thoughtful. Henry can’t look away as Alex speaks, especially as he takes note of Alex’s change in tone, the way he grows more serious and contemplative.

“I’m gonna make it up to you. That night.”

“You don’t owe me anything. Besides, this isn’t even about me. I’ll just be here to help you figure out what your future partners might like.”

“And the best way for me to start with that is by learning what you like. When the time comes, yeah, I’ll figure out how to make another guy come undone. But in the meantime? These next few weeks? It’s just me and you. I want to make you feel all the things you should have when we were together. Every sigh, every moan, every desperate breath. I’ll earn it for real this time.”

Henry’s throat feels a bit dry at the thought, at the determination in Alex’s eyes. 

“Is that a promise then? A challenge perhaps?” he manages to say, trying to keep his composure even as he feels himself getting aroused.

Alex doesn’t miss a beat as he says, “Sweetheart, that’s a goddamn guarantee.”

~*~*~

Phoenix, AZ Canyon Con

One of the best parts about agreeing to be the ghostwriter for this project is undoubtedly the ability for Henry to visit cities he’s never been to. 

The flight to Arizona with Alex was enjoyable and this time around, they’re set up in an AirBnB for an entire week.

They’ve settled into their temporary new digs pretty nicely and Henry is looking forward to making further progress with Alex and this book. 

Neither of them has actually brought up the other day and the deal they’ve struck with each other. Henry hasn’t been sure how to breach the topic, but now that they’re set to stay inside this rental for the week, it feels like it’ll take true Herculean effort to ignore the elephant in the room for much longer.

He reasons that since it was Alex’s idea, he’ll leave it to him to mention when he’s ready. For now, they have been able to tiptoe around it, making conversation about virtually anything else.

Henry takes up residence on the couch with his laptop, headphones on as he queues up Crescent Valley. He’s begun watching the series as part of his research. He’s halfway through season one and he still can’t tell if he likes the show or not. Despite that indecision, he can sincerely say Alex is a pretty great actor.

The show itself is campy at best, but there’s something very earnest in Alex’s portrayal of a newly turned vampire attempting to find balance in the two worlds he’s a part of.

Episode nine begins and for better or worse, Henry finds himself getting sucked into it. He rues the day already when he’ll have to confess to Pez that he should have watched along with him back when they were roommates in university. He’ll never hear the end of it. He’d better start preparing now for the resounding chorus of “I told you so”.

Henry’s so wrapped up in the show that he jumps a little when he sees a figure in the doorway of the living room. Alex is now both on his screen and here in the flesh.

Henry awkwardly makes to get up, hitting pause and taking off his headphones.

“Did you want to watch television in here? I can go.”

Alex’s brows furrow a little.

“Oh, no. I just wanted to hang with you. I know we haven’t really had much time to sit down about the memoir yet, so maybe we could now? But if you’re busy though, we can do it later.”

Henry shakes his head and closes out of Crescent Valley. He switches over to the Google Doc he created, storing away all the notes he’s been taking from various interviews he’s watched and read of Alex.

“Now would be great. It’s been nice seeing you out there with fans, but what I’m still trying to understand is the reason why you want a book at this time. What’s the angle or message you want readers to connect with?”

Alex takes a seat on the single seater across from Henry. 

“I want to talk about my sexuality, my ADHD, being a tragic child of divorce, the highs and lows of being in this career. But, mostly the first part.” 

Alex takes a deep breath and lets it out.

“I want to come out and maybe in doing so, it’ll help someone else to make sense of the things they might’ve been feeling for years, but never knew how to dissect or put a name to.”

Henry thinks back to their initial business meeting. Alex had made it clear that despite their past, Henry still remained his top pick to ghostwrite. Alex had also said there were different reasons why he hid the truth of who he was. Now it all slid into place since Alex’s admission the other day.

“Alex, that’s incredible. This is huge.”

Alex smiles nervously. 

“I can’t believe I’m doing it, but I feel good about my decision. My friends and family know. I feel good about myself, even though I’m still figuring this out.”

“You’re taking a big step and on the world stage no less. That’s pretty remarkable. I’m proud of you. I’d be honored to help tell your story.”

He takes his phone out of his pocket.

“Do you mind if I record? It helps me to get details correct and it’s also useful in getting your cadence right when it comes time to start writing.”

“Not at all. Go for it,” Alex says.

Henry nods and opens his voice memo, hitting record. He asks questions about Alex’s upbringing, the sort of little things a quick Wiki search can’t tell a person. 

True to the terms of the contract and Zahra’s assurance, Alex makes himself, for a lack of a better term, an open book. He gets candid about how his parents’ divorce coupled with his relative celeb status has made it difficult for him to put much stock into the concept of dating, especially with people outside the industry.

This fact in particular strikes Henry though he decides not to examine that too closely.

After about an hour and half, Henry decides they’ve covered enough ground to get him started.

“This was great. Thank you,” he says, looking over the new notes he’s taken and saving the recording.

“Yeah, of course.” Alex still looks contemplative and for a moment, Henry merely chalks it up as a side effect of their in-depth conversation until he stands and Alex speaks up.

“Um, could we talk about the other thing too?”

Henry doesn’t need clarification. He tucks his laptop under his arm and sits back down.

“Of course we can.”

Alex lets out a relieved breath.

“I couldn’t sleep last night and I kept thinking about the problem areas you mentioned. One thing you’ll learn about me is that I like making lists and stuff to keep me on track. There’s a neurosy or two in there, but let’s not look at it too hard right now. We can get into that later for the book,” Alex says.

“Point is, I ended up making a sort of…outline for us and these sessions so they have some structure to them. You can talk things out first and then maybe we could have a practical portion. I can link you to the live doc.”

Henry blinks a few times.

“That’s comprehensive. You've made a sex syllabus.”

Alex’s cheeks flush slightly.

“It’s too much, isn’t it?”

“Alex, I’m British. I thrive off structure and formality. I’d quite like to see this outline so yes, please, link me.”

He stands up again.

“Maybe you could come by my room in about an hour?” Henry suggests. “The deal was that the book comes first. I’d say we made sufficient progress today in that area,” Henry says, tapping his laptop.

Alex blinks twice. “Sounds good.” 

His tone is almost detached and before Henry can ask if he’s alright, Alex is already on his feet with his phone in hand.

Henry retreats to his room and sets his computer down on the nightstand. He hears the chime of his inbox and he opens it to find an email from Alex, subject line “aforementioned sex syllabus 🍆💦”.

Henry laughs and opens it.

The first lesson, Back to Basics, has subsections for kissing and touching.

Henry closes out of the doc as his eyes look at later topics like fingering and oral. He begins to pace, his neck feeling hot at the road ahead. 

In all fairness, at least, this first lesson won’t be difficult at all. Kissing is as harmless as it comes and Henry can attest to the fact that this wasn’t actually an area in which Alex needed improvement.

All the same, Henry knows there’s merit in easing them into this new working relationship instead of jumping into the deep end on day one.

An hour goes by much faster than Henry could have anticipated and suddenly Alex is knocking at his door.

Henry squares his shoulders and crosses the room to let him in. He takes some reassurance in the fact that Alex looks as uncertain as he feels.

“Hey,” Alex says as he comes in, taking a look around himself before landing back on Henry. Even though these sessions were Alex’s idea, Henry gets the feeling he’ll have to be the one to get the ball rolling tonight.

“I will preface this lesson by saying you don’t need any pointers in this department.”

Alex smiles to himself and Henry has to admit, it’s kind of adorable seeing that reaction.

“Regardless, I think your guideline was pretty smart in starting out slowly with these sessions. We can build up from there.”

Alex nods. “Cool, I’m glad you agree.”

Henry stuffs his hands in his pockets. “And you’re sure you want to do this, right? I won’t be offended or anything if you’ve had a change of heart in the past hour.”

Alex shakes his head. “No, I’m still in. I guess I’m just nervous about screwing things up a second time. I don’t know if I could readily bounce back from that level of humiliation.”

Henry steps closer to him, removing his hands from his pockets and instead encircling Alex’s waist.

Alex’s eyes widen but he doesn’t shrink away or look uncomfortable. If anything, he looks curious. Expectant even.

“I think the best way for us to get past the awkwardness might be to simply embrace it,” Henry says.

Alex peers up at him, his eyes drifting to Henry’s lips and back just as he’d done that night right before they kissed for the first time.

This time around, it’s Alex who makes the first move and tugs Henry closer. Henry can’t hide the way this affects him. His breath catches as Alex leans in and presses his lips to Henry’s.

It’s reflexive to kiss him back at once. Alex had left his brain in an absolute fog that night in New York as they kissed on the street and weeks later, Alex hasn’t lost his spark.

This kiss doesn’t mean anything. It won’t lead to anything and Henry thinks that’s what allows him to rid himself of any self-consciousness or second thoughts.

Alex’s kiss grows hungry and quickens and for the sake of Henry’s quickly beating heart, he needs them to take it down one notch or two.

“A bit slower,” Henry says softly against his lips. “I don’t want to rush this.”

Alex smiles and does as he’s instructed. He kisses Henry agonizingly slowly, perhaps out of spite, but Henry relishes in it. Alex’s tongue skims along the seam of his lips and Henry opens his mouth to him at once, gripping Alex’s hips as their tongues meet.

He breathes in deeply, his mind growing hazy in that way that Alex is too good at initiating. Henry feels like absolute putty in Alex’s hands, entirely malleable. 

Alex must know it too as he takes control and walks Henry back to the nearest wall. Henry instinctively drapes his arms over the man’s shoulders, lightly threading his fingers through Alex’s hair.

Alex lowers his hand between the two of them and lightly cups Henry. Henry sucks in a surprised breath at the touch.

“Next time,” Alex says quietly, tauntingly.

Henry whimpers in protest.

“Unless,” Alex tacks on in question.

Henry pulls his face back a little and licks his lips.

“Touch was on the agenda, right? We can do a teaser.” Henry sighs. “Rather, selfishly, I really want you to keep touching me. That felt nice,” he admits.

Alex laughs softly but places his hand back over Henry. His cock twitches immediately at the attention. He clenches his jaw as Alex strokes him lightly over his clothes. Henry’s eyes shut, his head resting back against the wall.

His arousal grows with each stroke, his whole body feeling liable to melt. If Alex had touched him like this their first night, it most definitely would have set a different tone for the evening.

He rocks forward as he resumes their kiss. Alex tentatively squeezes his cock. Henry moans against his lips, heart pounding. Alex squeezes him again before continuing to stroke him. Henry can feel himself leaking.

Alex’s hand creeps up, gripping the waistband of his jeans. Henry desperately wants to feel Alex’s skin on his in earnest, but he reminds himself that this is merely their first day. He can’t lose himself like this, no matter how good it feels.

He touches Alex’s wrist lightly and opens his eyes. Alex stills at once and lets go.

“I think that’s good for day one,” Henry whispers.

Alex nods. “Yeah, that was, uh,” he clears his throat and returns his arm to his side as he steps back, “that was enough.”

And yet still, Henry wants more. He wonders if it would be wiser or more efficient for them to blow through the lessons in one go. Maybe that way they could in fact spend the rest of their time together doing what they’ve signed contracts for and are actually getting paid to do.

But the knowledge that he can get access to Alex like this for several more weeks makes him throw away all sense and logic. He wants an excuse to keep these clandestine meetings going.

“I’m gonna grab a shower,” Alex says unhelpfully. All his words do is put images in Henry’s mind that shouldn’t be there.

Henry nods stiffly. 

“I’ll get started on dinner for us in the meantime,” Henry says. Maybe getting lost in the rhythm of cooking will make it easier for him to calm down.

“I’ll see you in a bit then,” Alex replies.

He bites back saying that technically it’s his book, if only just not his life story. The NDA was ironclad, and spilling his secrets to a perfect stranger while in a slightly buzzed state is hardly the big finish to his career that he had in mind.

He turns toward the voice and startles for a moment, struck by just how good-looking the man seated two stools away is. He catalogs details of his new barmate:  a mess of unruly curls, wire-framed glasses, and a frenetic energy that both intrigues Henry and puts him on edge. It crackles in the very air, making Henry instantly disarmed.

But it’s the man’s mouth above all else that Henry can’t seem to tear his gaze away from for more than a few seconds at a time, especially as the stranger smirks as if they’re old friends reuniting at random.

That most certainly is not the case.

Henry knows for a fact he’s never seen this man before. He’s got the kind of face and aura that no one would be unable to recall at once, the kind a person would never be able to forget.

“It’s expected to be an instant bestseller, but we’ll just have to wait and see the list next week,” Henry says, finally finding his voice.

The man lifts his brows, conceding the point. “I’ll put a pin in it for now, then, while the jury’s still out.”

Henry smiles softly and pushes the book aside, ready—in every measure—to be done thinking about the book and talking about it. 

He’d much rather set his focus on this man he’s somehow had the fortune of ensnaring in conversation.

Henry perks up a little in his seat. He notices a lanyard around the man’s neck and points it out.

“I take it you’re visiting,” he says, gesturing to the lanyard that disappears under his jacket.

The man places a hand to his sternum, where the corresponding badge must be tucked away.

“Yeah, I’m here on business. I had an all-day convention, but this is actually my last night before I head back home tomorrow.”

“Oh,” Henry says, surprising himself by how this life update of a man he’s only just met hits him.

“You sound disappointed,” the stranger says, that knowing smile painting his lips yet again. Henry thinks it must be something of a trademark for this man. He can only imagine how many people he’s been able to lure in because of it, perhaps without even trying.

“I’m…I don’t know the word for it. Perhaps disappointed will have to suffice.”

The stranger’s face grows a bit serious. He moves over one stool, then the other, bringing them just that much closer. 

Henry, for his sake, fiddles with his empty glass to keep himself busy. It strikes him then just how backwards this conversation has been so far.

“I’m Henry. And you are?” he asks, extending a hand. 

It feels like such an old-fashioned, antiquated thing to do. He’s not at all surprised by the man’s hesitancy, but an almost skeptical look shimmers in the stranger’s eyes for a beat before he takes hold of Henry’s hand and shakes it.

“Javier,” the man supplies before letting go.

Something settles in Henry’s chest at finally having a name to put to this face he wants to see more of— and perhaps do other things with.

“Javier,” Henry repeats. “It’s really nice to meet you.”

Javier smiles warmly at him, and Henry cannot believe how much a small thing like this is making his heart race. But this connection he feels to this man is so unlike anything he’s ever experienced before. Certainly, he’s come across attractive people over the years, but there’s some kind of familiarity with Javier, an ease, that makes this feel right.

They pass some time chatting about surface-level things, cracking jokes over two more rounds of their respective drinks. Henry learns that Javier is from Texas and works in sales. He, in turn, reveals the not-so-secret fact that he’s from England, but also that he’s been living here for six years after coming to the States post-university and is a writer. Conversation seems to flow as easily between them as liquor does into a shot glass. 

“Do you want to get out of here?” Javier asks after about forty minutes, abruptly curtailing their conversation.

Henry opens and closes his mouth, taken aback by Javier’s forwardness and intrigued all the same.

“I know, I know, that sounds like a total pickup line, but I truly do want to know if you’d like to leave this place and go on a mini-quest with me to find some other spot that serves real food. The kitchen’s closed here, which sucks for me, and my sad empty stomach.”

He rakes a hand through his hair before dropping it into his lap. 

“I’ve had a crazy long day, and the thought of stale pretzels or peanuts that grubby, drunken hands have touched all night is not cutting it for dinner,” he continues, jutting his thumb towards an admittedly gross-looking bowl of bar snacks.

Henry’s nose scrunches a bit before he looks back at Javier.

“You might find yourself growing bored of me before long. Maybe my charm only exists within the confines of this establishment.”

Javier rests his arm on the bar, leaning his head against his propped-up hand.

“Did someone put a curse on you?” Javier jokes. “Somehow, I sincerely doubt that, but I’d be willing to take the risk. And besides, I think we could find plenty of ways to keep the night from getting dull.”

Javier grimaces and puts his hand to his forehead before running it down the length of his face and dropping it.

“Jesus, I really need to get better at not sounding like I’m trying to make a pass at you.”

Feeling a bit bold, Henry lets out a contemplative sound.

“That’s a pity,” he says, continuing to muster up the kind of confidence he doesn’t typically have. “It was actually working for you.”

Javier swallows hard, his gaze unmistakably drifting from Henry’s eyes to his lips and back again. Henry smirks and breaks away, reaching for his wallet and setting down a few bills to cover his drinks for the night. Javier flags down the bartender and closes out his tab.

“Now, what was this about an adventure?” Henry says as he gets off the stool and slips his jacket back on, hooking his tote bag on his shoulder. He crams the godforsaken book inside. Though, now that it’s responsible for striking up a conversation with this handsome man, he supposes he could be a bit nicer to the thing.

He leads Javier out of the bar, still clutching onto his false bravado. This is so unlike him, but for tonight, he figures he can be someone else.

“You’re the expert of this area,” Javier says. “What do you recommend?” 

Henry thinks on it for a moment.

“Well, we’re in New York. Pizza seems like the most logical option, if not stereotypical,” he muses.

Javier laughs. “It’d be quick, hot, and good, so I’m not complaining.”

“I bet you say that to all the guys.”

Javier barks out a surprised laugh and playfully strikes Henry’s arm.

“Oh, you're trouble. A damn deadly combination.”

“And what would that be?” Henry asks, lifting a brow.

“Funny, sharp, and handsome. One might call that being greedy. Save some for the rest of us, sweetheart.”

Henry scoffs as they walk down the street, two women around their age doing a double take at Javier as they go. They quickly turn to each other, talking fast.

“Yeah…I don’t quite believe you’re exactly hurting in that department yourself.”

Javier looks a bit tense, but he quickly relaxes and smiles. “Guess it all depends.”

Henry takes them to one of his favorite pizza shops, a real hole-in-the-wall spot. In Henry’s experience, he finds places like these have the best meals.

They order and grab a table near the back. The bright fluorescent lights are such a contrast to the dimly lit bar, and it only serves to highlight just how good-looking Javier truly is. Now that they’re seated, Henry can’t seem to get his fill of looking at him.

He’d be embarrassed if it weren’t for the fact that Javier can’t stop looking at him either. It makes Henry suddenly very aware of himself, curious what it is that Javier sees when he looks at him.

As they eat, they continue talking, their legs somehow touching under the table, though neither pulls away. Henry isn’t sure who even initiated it, though he supposes it’s very likely they simply just gravitated towards each other. In all fairness, that seems to be the theme of the night with them, and Henry prays that will continue carrying over.

By the time they’re finished, Henry feels a sinking weight in his chest, knowing they’ll eventually have to call it a night and go their separate ways. He practically drags his feet as they leave.

Henry isn’t walking anywhere in particular, but he assumes it must be in the right direction, as Javier doesn’t protest. He thinks perhaps he should get the guy’s phone number or, at the very least, a social media handle, but to do so would feel like putting a definitive end to the night.

Their arms brush on every other step, and a light rain begins to fall. Henry ducks under an awning of a closed store. Javier leans against the grate on his shoulder.

In the light of the neon signs glowing from the storefront next door, Javier is backlit and practically glowing. 

“Would I be completely overstepping here by saying that I really want to kiss you right now? That I’ve kinda been wanting to since the very second I saw you come into the bar?” Javier says quietly, his eyes latched onto Henry’s.

This shouldn’t be coming as a surprise, given how quickly Javier cozied up to him earlier. But to hear it so plainly like this is a bit jarring all the same.

“I don’t usually do this sort of thing,” Henry blurts out awkwardly. Why these words have decided to fly out of his mouth at this exact moment, he’ll never understand.

Javier’s eyes widen, suddenly looking unsure of himself.

“We don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to. I had a really great night either way. I shouldn’t have pressed it. I’m sorry.”

Henry reaches out a hand without thinking about it and gently grabs Javier’s jacket.

“I’m not saying I don’t want to. I’m merely highlighting the fact that it’s uncommon for me, and yet, with you, I…,” he trails off, shaking his head. “This is the very last thing I could have seen for myself tonight, but I’d be lying if I said I took issue with how it’s all playing out.”

Javier smiles up at him, swaying slightly as he rocks on his heels.

“I’m glad I could be a happy surprise.”

Henry inches closer, still maintaining his grip. It makes Javier stop moving at once.

“Hopefully, the surprises don’t end here,” Henry says, the words coming out almost like a question as his eyes lock onto the other man’s.

Javier tips his chin up, and Henry takes the leap, closing the small distance between them and pressing his mouth to Javier’s.

The man’s lips are soft and warm, inviting even in the tender way he kisses Henry. He’d been expecting a rushed, heated kiss, given the kindling that’s been burning between them all night, but Henry appreciates this speed even more. 

He likes the way Javier takes his time, as if this night is somehow infinite. It makes Henry slow down and truly relish in the moment too. 

For all his shortcomings, in the here and now, Henry’s finally managing to get something right. 

Javier deepens the kiss, his left hand cupping Henry’s cheek, his body pressed flush against him.

They may be on a busy city street, but as far as Henry is concerned, no one and nothing else exists.

He’s never had a first kiss with someone like this before. It’s as if they’re both relying on each other for sustenance, as if they’re the air keeping the other alive.

When they pull apart, Javier’s eyes are still closed for a moment before he looks at Henry and speaks.

“I don’t want to say goodnight to you.”

Going back to a hotel with a guy he doesn’t know, not even his last name or whatever company he works for that brought him to the city in the first place, is so out of the realm of his typical life.

But looking into Javier’s soft eyes now, he can’t imagine he’d be put in any peril at his hands.

“How far is your hotel from here?” he asks.

Javier smiles a little. 

“A few blocks over.”

Just a few city streets separate him from getting his hands on Javier in earnest. A thrill runs up the length of his spine at the thought.

“Let’s go there then.”

Javier’s smile grows, and he pecks Henry’s lips once before leading the way back to his hotel. They pass by a 24-hour pharmacy, and Javier points it out, veering toward the entrance.

“Pit stop. I fully did not expect to be hooking up with anyone on this trip, so we need supplies.”

Henry’s glad for the man’s foresight and pulls open the door for him before going inside, too.

A quick trip to aisle seven and a glorious option for self-checkout gets them back en route to Javier’s hotel.

Henry lets out a low whistle as they approach.

“Impressive,” he says.

Javier rubs the back of his neck. “My company put us up nicely,” is all he says as they head in.

The lobby, with its pristine floor and gold-plated fixtures, is quiet at this hour. The only real sound is their footfalls as they cross the lobby and head toward the bank of elevators.

As they step inside, Henry feels his body craving Javier’s touch at once.

In such a confined space, the urge to push Javier up against the wall is almost overwhelming but Henry fights it off. He’s glad for it, too, when they hear a voice call.

“Hold it, please.”

Javier quickly throws out his arm to keep the elevator doors from closing as Henry pushes the doors open button.

An older woman comes into view a few seconds later. She looks up at them and smiles warmly.

“Aren’t you two just the sweetest? Thank you,” she says.

Javier and Henry smile back at her before settling in again.

“What floor?” Henry asks her. 

“Eight, thanks.”

He pushes for her floor, and as the elevator begins to ascend, Henry feels his eagerness climbing, too.

Javier is close enough for him to smell the scent of his cologne mixed with the rain from earlier, making Henry practically ache with want.

He steals a glance at Javier, but the man is staring straight ahead. It at least gives Henry a look at his gorgeous profile before he realizes belatedly that the elevator doors are reflective, and Javier can no doubt see Henry shamelessly gawking at him.

One look at the doors tells him as much as Javier smirks at him. What’s more, the woman seems to notice, too, as she smiles knowingly at him before dropping her gaze.

Henry suddenly becomes very aware of the pharmacy bag in his hands.

Could she possibly know what’s within the confines of it? Suddenly, it feels as if he has a giant neon sign flashing above his head, decrying that he’s about to get laid tonight.

He doesn’t have much time to truly dwell on it as the elevator stops on the eighth floor and the doors open. She wishes them a good evening.

“Have a nice night, ma’am,” Javier says as the woman leaves, and there’s an unexpected faint twang to the last word, an echo of his Texan roots sneaking out. Henry finds it sweet.

As the doors close, Henry lets out a breath when the elevator resumes its journey to the fourteenth floor. Javier encroaches his space suddenly, pinning his hips against Henry’s. He can feel how hard Javier is— a clear promise of what’s waiting for him in just a few moments.

Henry gets a hand in Javier’s rain-slicked hair and kisses him hard as they make their way to the fourteenth floor. He’s breathless by the time the doors open and they get out.

Javier takes a hold of his hand as he leads them to his room. Henry can’t stop himself. He kisses the man again, his back against the door as Javier fumbles with the keycard.

The door gives way, and they go stumbling over the threshold, laughing as they hold onto each other for balance. Henry very nearly loses his footing, but Javier catches him around the waist and keeps him upright.

They hastily slip off their jackets at the door, kicking off their shoes as well. In their haste, Javier’s head clunks back against the wall, and Henry trips over one of their shoes in the dark, tweaking his ankle a little. There’s a moment where Javier gets tangled in his lanyard as Henry tries to help him remove it.

All their smoothness and finesse from their kiss outside has seemingly fallen by the wayside. 

“Maybe the room is cursed,” Javier muses, rubbing the back of his head.

“And you laughed off my warning at the bar,” Henry replies. “Maybe kissing each other is the antidote?” he continues, eager to feel Javier’s mouth on his again.

“Totally only kissing you now for research purposes and nothing more.”

“I can respect that. Purely academic, yes,” Henry echoes right before Javier gets him up against the nearest wall, grabbing a fistful of Henry’s shirt.

Henry kisses him deeply, his tongue slipping into Javier’s mouth as the man’s lips part. His hips jerk forward, and he whimpers feeling Javier’s cock against his hip.

One-night stands have never been Henry’s forte. But with such a tempting offer before him, this night from hell is taking a turn.

He walks them towards the bed and falls on top of Javier as the man tips backwards onto the mattress. They shift to the top of the bed, and Javier flips them over. Henry’s hands instantly fly above his head, and Javier takes it as the perfect opportunity to get his shirt off. Henry has zero qualms.

Javier turns on the bedside lamp, and his eyes seem to drink in every facet of Henry in the soft light. Javier reaches out a hand for a second before retracting it. Henry smiles reassuringly and takes hold of the man’s hand, guiding it to his chest. 

Javier sucks in a breath, his fingers splayed against Henry’s left pec before gently sliding down his torso, along his abdomen.

“Shit,” Javier says softly under his breath as he stares. 

“Why thank you,” Henry muses.

 Javier laughs and rolls his eyes.

“Don’t get cocky, sweetheart,” Javier quips, leaning over him.

Henry laughs but stops as he notices Javier’s chain. He hadn’t seen it earlier, the piece of jewelry once buried under layers of clothes, but it fascinates Henry now.

Henry toys idly with the key that dangles from Javier’s neck, his fingers slipping from the thin silver chain to the jagged peaks and valleys of the key itself. 

“A piece of home,” the man says, answering the question Henry wasn’t sure he had a right to ask.

His eyes flicker back up to Javier’s face, their eyes locking as he continues to fiddle with the key.

“You travel so often that you require a keepsake?” Henry asks, feeling emboldened to do so.

Javier smiles, lips skewing to the left.  

“Unfortunately, yes. It’s stupid, but it helps me feel grounded.”

It’s a candid statement, a level of sentimentality Henry wasn’t expecting but appreciates all the same.

There’s hardly much from his life back in England that he cares to hold on to, but with an entire ocean separating him from home, he can understand Javier’s token.

“It’s not stupid at all,” he assures. “Quite the opposite.”

Something changes in Javier’s eyes, though Henry can’t exactly name it. For a fleeting moment, he wishes he knew this man well enough to gauge his thoughts, to even be free enough to ask for clarity. But he swallows down the question and simply tugs Javier closer to him, their lips meeting in the center of the space between them.

Henry can feel the slight tremble in the other man's body against his. He finds it endearing and—admittedly— a bit of an ego booster. He can’t remember the last time he’s felt someone’s anticipation for him as a palpable thing. It only makes Henry all the more eager to make this night a good one— for the both of them.

Javier kisses him deeply, enough to steal the air from his lungs and make his mind go quiet in a way it hasn’t been able to in weeks. He pours back into Javier, giving just as good as the man gives to him.

He craves more, and his curious hands begin to wander, first at the small of Javier’s back, silently guiding the man to press further against him. 

A moan fills the room, and Henry isn’t sure which one of them is responsible for the sound, but it hardly matters. Encouraged, Henry slips a hand under the hem of Javier’s shirt and is instantly rewarded with the feel of smooth skin and toned muscles beneath his fingertips.

He nips gently at Javier’s bottom lip and tugs, their kiss growing rougher, more carnal as their patience wanes, and he clamors to pull off Javier’s shirt.

Javier looks down at him, a few rogue curls sweeping against his forehead, his brows furrowed almost pensively.

Henry takes the opportunity to rein himself in, to get control of his breathing. The task becomes a bit difficult again as Javier runs a slow hand up from his stomach to his chest and settles at the base of his neck, his thumb softly brushing his throat.

Javier leans into him and kisses the journey his hand made in reverse, his mouth making its way from Henry’s neck to his collarbone, to his chest, to his abs. His breath is warm against Henry’s stomach as he exhales just above the waistband of Henry’s jeans.

Henry’s own breathing is heavy, though he doubts anyone would be able to blame him. His skin is still buzzing in every place Javier’s lips landed, and his cock is straining in anticipation of learning his touch too.

“Is it cool if I…,” Javier trails off, and sincerely, from the bottom of his heart, Henry would accept any conclusion for the question Javier doesn’t even ask.

He nods, not trusting himself not to all-out beg for whatever this man has in mind.

Javier’s cheeks seem to flush a little as he nods once, almost as if steeling himself, and undoes Henry’s jeans. There’s something vaguely bashful about it, but in the next breath, Javier’s eyes are focused like a man on a mission.

Needless to say, this bodes well in Henry’s mind. He gets comfortable still against the bed as Javier undresses him completely. He figures he should probably feel awkward being the only naked one now, but as Javier’s gaze roams his body in its entirety with a look of sheer want and hunger, being fully on display like this hardly seems like anything to feel insecure about.

“It’s actually kinda ridiculous how attractive you are,” Javier says.

Henry laughs. “High praise coming from you.”

Javier continues staring at him, his eyes jumping to different places on his body. Yet still, his hands remain at his sides. 

“You’ve got me here. You can, in fact, touch me,” Henry prompts.

Javier’s face reddens ever so slightly.

“Yeah, for sure. Totally,” he murmurs. 

Henry’s brows furrow. For all his smoothness this evening, Javier seems to be stumbling, his footing no longer secure now that things are well and truly underway.

He takes a tentative hold of Henry’s cock, his eyes widening. He lets go quickly before mumbling an apology. He clears his throat and touches him again, his back ramrod straight.

“Everything okay?” Henry asks after a moment when Javier’s hand trembles a bit but doesn’t move.

“Hmm? Oh yeah, I’m fine.”

Javier smiles unconvincingly but seems to get back to himself as he starts to stroke Henry. 

It’s stiff and mechanical, with awkward fits and starts. Henry shifts against the mattress in an attempt to get a new angle. But he quickly discerns it’s not his placement on the bed that’s making this handjob unenjoyable. 

Javier is simply ill-equipped to give one.

“Oh my god,” Henry mutters under his breath.

“You like that, hm?” Javier says, completely misinterpreting his words.

There’s no finesse to his movements; it’s all rudimentary at best. 

Henry kisses him, and it’s enough to get Javier to stop his movements.

“I think I’m ready for more,” he says. Henry moves away then and roots around for their purchases.

He takes out the lube and box of condoms, handing the bottle over to Javier.

“I want you to open me up.”

A muscle in Javier’s jaw flexes as he accepts the bottle, their fingertips brushing. It sends a tingle of excitement through Henry, knowing he’ll get to feel them elsewhere in a few moments’ time.

“Cool, yeah,” Javier says, snapping open the bottle. He fumbles with it, and it drops to the bed. He quickly picks it up and squeezes out an obscene amount of liquid.

Henry doesn’t miss the way Javier’s hand shakes a little. He’s about to ask once more if the man is okay before Javier starts coating his entrance.

He squeezes more lube onto his fingers and rubs against Henry’s hole. Henry tries to get his body to relax, but he can practically feel himself leaking lube at this point. He supposes it’s better than the alternative of not having enough lubrication to ease him open, but nothing about this feels particularly sexy.

After a few minutes, Javier works a finger into him. Henry thinks finally, they’ll begin to get somewhere, but Javier fingers him in the most literal, basic sense of the action. His finger pumps in, slips out, then dips back in to repeat it all over again. There’s nothing skilled about it, no switch up even as he adds another finger. It doesn’t feel like he’s even trying to stimulate him by finding his prostate. By the time Javier adds a third finger, it’s clear he’s just completely neglected the idea or simply never had it to begin with.

“We’re good now,” Henry cuts in, keen to put an end to this horrendous fingering.

Javier nods and grabs a condom from the box Henry unearthed before and works quickly to get it onto himself.

Henry sighs and tries to clear his mind and stay optimistic. Maybe this time around, the third time will be the charm, and they’ll manage to get back in sync with each other.

Javier adds even more lube to Henry’s entrance, and at this point, the mental image of what the sheets must look like almost makes Henry burst out laughing. He bites his bottom lip, and above him, Javier does the same as he coats his cock, giving himself a few quick strokes.

Javier grips Henry’s hips as he aligns himself.  

“Are you ready?” he asks.

Henry nods, holding onto Javier in turn. He breaks eye contact, staring at a point on the wall just past Javier’s ear as the man slowly enters him. 

Javier shudders, and Henry can admit the slide of the man’s cock inside him feels good. It’s been far too long since he’s been intimate with someone, and Henry can’t help but cling to the familiarity of being physical like this.

He clutches Javier’s shoulders and brings them closer together. Javier’s breath catches, and he stays frozen for a moment. Henry rolls his hips forward, silently letting Javier know it’s okay to proceed.

Much like with his fingering, Javier’s thrusts leave much to be desired. Henry wonders if perhaps he might be nitpicking, but this all falls so flat. He tries to get a rhythm going for them, but it’s as if they’re both tuned into different frequencies, their bodies out of step as they move to different beats. 

Above him, Javier moans, crashing their hips together.

“You feel so good,” he rasps. 

Henry contemplates the ways it’s possible for two people to be experiencing the same moment but have such contrasting points of view.

It’s not that Javier necessarily feels bad. Objectively speaking, his cock fills him up nicely. It’s just that it doesn’t seem like Javier really knows how to use it fully to his advantage. A part of Henry thinks he should speak up and give some tips, but the thought of making this even more awkward keeps him quiet. He opts instead to make some convincing noises here and there.

“I’m so close,” Javier pants.

That makes one of us, Henry thinks tersely as he bucks forward, still holding out some small sliver of hope that Javier will find his groove. 

Any potential for that is dashed as Javier finishes with a shudder, his breath raspy in his ear, moaning Henry’s name. Javier takes a few steady breaths before pulling out.

Henry doesn’t spare a moment in pulling the covers over himself, disguising the fact that he didn’t actually reach his end as Javier disposes of the condom and settles into bed again.

Beside him, Javier is looking up at the ceiling, his chest rising and falling heavily. He looks thoroughly satisfied, and, if nothing else, Henry is glad to see he actually enjoyed himself. 

“Are you okay?” Javier asks, turning suddenly on his side, searching Henry’s eyes. He looks so expectant, his brown eyes looking more like a puppy dog’s, and Henry sees very little point in voicing the truth but he doubts he can convincingly manage a lie.

He splits the difference and smiles, making a noncommittal sound before leaning in and kissing Javier.

This the man is spectacular at, and Henry clings to that to redeem the night. He gets lost in their kiss as best he can, but flashes of their encounter just moments ago keep springing to mind, shattering the illusion.

Javier pulls away first, stifling a yawn.

“Sorry. It really has been a day,” he says.

Henry shakes his head.

“It’s alright. You should get some sleep.”

Javier’s eyes look a bit unfocused as fatigue seeps in further.

“Night, Henry,” he says softly, pressing his lips to Henry’s one more time before closing his eyes.

His face is instantly softer with sleep, and the guilt that trickles throughout Henry for the fact that he cannot stay a moment longer than necessary is immediate.

Henry bides his time, waiting until Javier is in a deep sleep before gingerly climbing out of bed, careful not to jostle it and run the risk of Javier waking to find him scampering off. 

When he’s on two feet again, Henry quickly moves about the room, retrieving his clothes and redressing.

He looks one last time at the bed and Javier’s sleeping figure.

This is for the best, he reasons, even as guilt taps on his shoulder once more. 

He’s careful in closing the door, turning the handle all the way as he pulls it in behind him. It closes with a quiet click, and Henry holds his breath as he listens for any sounds on the other side of the door. After a few seconds, he feels assured that he’s in the clear.

It would be his luck to find a guy as interesting and attractive as Javier on a night like this, only for it not to end in fireworks but to go up in flames.

The universe truly has a vendetta against him, certain to get in one last laugh at his expense.

~*~*~

Pez HELLO?! Where is the confirmation you haven’t been beamed up to outer space?

Pez If the aliens are sexy then I suppose I can’t hold it against you for your silence 

Pez Send proof of life or I am calling the authorities 

Pez Drink lots of water, my love xoxo

Henry

Negative on the sexy aliens. However, I must confess to making contact with a very attractive man. Does that constitute as out of this world enough for you?

Henry sees three dots appear and vanish for the briefest of seconds before an incoming call from his roommate flashes across his screen instead.

He sighs, knowing full well he should have seen this coming.

He accepts the call and before he can open his mouth to greet his best friend, Pez is firing on all cylinders.

“I want a detailed recap of your night at once or, so help me, God, I will track you down and claw it out of you.”

“Easy now. No need for threats I know you’d make good on,” Henry says, heading into the kitchen.

He pulls down a mug and plucks a tea bag from the canister on the counter. He drops it inside of the mug.

“My night was…interesting,” he says, moving next to the kettle and adding water.

Pez makes a perplexed sound over the line, not that Henry can blame him.

“You don’t sound like a man whose life has been altered by mind-blowing sex despite the description of this mystery man. What exactly happened?”

Henry shudders a bit as the memory of Javier’s hotel room comes to mind. He can still feel the excessive amount of lube even though he’d showered thoroughly the second he got home.

He recaps the night just as Pez demanded while he makes his tea, not skimping on all the details even as his face burns as he recounts it all. Pez is aghast, gasping and shrieking right on cue as Henry describes the night and his early morning escape. 

“Anyway, I still feel rather guilty for leaving while he was sleeping, but I couldn’t bear the thought of having to talk about it.”

“You worry too much. It was a one night stand. Staying the night is not customary nor is it mandatory. You got in, you got out. That’s standard protocol for an evening such as this. Especially as this handsome devil turned out to be a dud.”

Henry frowns. “Still. Some kind of acknowledgment would have been the decent, proper thing to do. I hope I didn’t offend him.”

Pez tuts twice.

“My darling Hazza, life is too short to waste it dwelling on mediocre hookups. All the same, I must say I’m particularly proud of you, young chap! Sowing your wild oats without much abandon! You’re like a brand new man. My little Henry, all grown up right before my very eyes.”

“Have I expressed lately just how much I loathe you?”

“Sweetie, don’t lie. It’s most unbecoming.”

Henry rolls his eyes and smiles to himself as he sets his mug to his lips and drinks. His phone buzzes and Henry pulls it away to see another call coming in from his agent.

“I’ve got to run. Shaan is ringing me, but I’ll talk to you later, yeah?”

Pez bids him farewell and Henry quickly switches over.

“Henry,” Shaan greets. “Are you busy today? Would you be free for lunch?”

“How sweet. Are you thinking about buying me a meal?” Henry muses.

He can practically hear Shaan’s eyes rolling.

“Hardly, but there are some people who are interested in doing such. An American actor just got acquired for his autobiography and he and his team responded quite well to your samples. They’d like to meet with you today.”

Henry freezes, surprised by the news.

“Wait, seriously?”

“He and his manager are leaving this afternoon, but they’d love to meet you if you’re able to make it for lunch. It’s a bit of a time crunch here.”

Henry eyes the clock. His afternoon is in fact free; he can certainly make the meeting but the question still remains, does he even want to? Last night’s borderline career crisis is still top of mind. He’d been so ready at the bar last night to throw it all away, to give up ghostwriting, to get back to telling his own stories instead of being the unknown voice behind others.

Henry pinches the bridge of his nose. 

“If I go, it’s not a commitment, right?”

“It’s just an inquiry, a get-to-know-you for everyone.” Shaan pauses. “Is everything alright with you? I know things with that gamer guy didn’t go over so well, but from the pitch, it truly sounds like these guys are going to give you true access to Alex. They want this to be extremely collaborative.”

Henry purses his lips and stands up straighter.

“Alex. That’s the actor then?”

“Yes, Alex Claremont-Diaz. He was on that teen vampire show, I’m completely blanking on the name right now. The vampire craze a few years back really was hard to keep track of. Anyway, he’s been in a few made-for-TV movies and has made some guest appearances over the years. His fans love him. I think this could be a great opportunity for you and what they’re offering is pretty substantial. They’re putting their weight behind this one in a big way.”

Despite the man’s resumé, Henry hasn’t the foggiest idea who the guy is, but he figures it’s a better alternative than knowing him for negative reasons.

“Would you be up for taking the meeting?” Shaan asks. Henry can hear a bit of strain in his voice.

There’s no harm in at least going, Henry thinks.

“Of course, yes. Just text me the details and I’ll be there. Thanks for setting this up, Shaan. Sincerely, I appreciate it.”

He hangs up and looks around his kitchen, his mind racing. In an ideal world, he would do his due diligence and look up this actor and make sure he’s the kind of person he’d even want to get to know, let alone invoke on the page.

Instead, he’s only able to make a mad dash for another shower and throw together a presentable outfit before heading out the door. He checks the text that had come in from Shaan while he was getting ready to get the meeting details.

He makes his way into Manhattan and to the restaurant, giving the name Shaan told him the reservation was under, Zahra Bankston.

He’s led through the tastefully decorated restaurant and brought to a table with a woman with a no nonsense expression as she types furiously on her phone and a man who makes Henry believe he’s having either a stroke or some kind of psychotic break.

Though his head is down perusing the menu, it was only a few hours ago that Henry had a view like this: that head between his legs trying in vain to make him come.

There’s only a split second before the man looks up, confirming what Henry already knew. All the same, it still feels like a dagger to the heart seeing that face again.

“Ah, you must be Henry,” Zahra greets him, rising from her seat. “Thanks so much for squeezing in this meeting. But with us in town, it would have been crazy not to at least try getting some time together.”

Henry, to his credit, manages to function enough to smile and answer back. From the corner of his eye, he can see Javier—Alex—avoid looking at him and taking a sip from his glass.

“My pleasure, really. I’m glad I could come.”

Alex chokes on his water, quickly patting his chest twice and coughing.

Zahra looks over at him, a sharp perfectly groomed brow lifting.

Alex holds up a hand and gestures for them to continue.

Henry wonders how long it’ll take for Alex to actually utter a word.

“Your samples were incredible and that’s not me blowing smoke up your ass. You’ve got such a range. We’d love to see what you could do with Alex.”

Henry looks over at the man just then and their eyes meet.  

Unlike last night, there are no glasses obscuring Alex’s face. He looks different somehow in the daylight, his features sharper– every bit the celebrity he’s now been revealed to be. Even how he carries himself is different. Henry chalks it up to Alex now having an air of professionalism. Last night as Javier, he didn’t have to be someone embarking on a meeting. He could let his guard down and be himself freely, even with a fake name and fabricated backstory.

Henry looks away and tries to get his head on straight, to exist right here at this table rather than being pulled back to retrace last night.

Zahra’s phone vibrates on the table, rattling her cutlery. She grabs it and looks at the screen, sighing.

“Crap, sorry. I have to take this,” Zahra says impatiently, removing her cloth napkin from her lap and putting it on the table before she bustles off.

Without her, Henry feels completely unmoored and the shockwaves of seeing the man next to him again shake him once more.

“Okay, well, this is awkward,” Alex says flatly. 

He’d been so quiet this whole time, Henry was starting to think he’d lost his voice in the hours that separated their run ins.

“Understatement of the century. I never thought I’d see you again.”

Alex laughs. “Yeah, I kinda got that impression when I woke up alone.” 

He says it lightly, but his words still land like punches to the gut.

Henry frowns. “I’m sorry. Everything last night…going back to your room, I told you, that’s not really me. You weren’t actually you either though. Here on business? Working in sales?”

Alex’s brows furrow. “I couldn’t be. Hell, I didn’t know if you might’ve known who I was or not. It was a risk so, yeah, I fibbed a little.”

“You fibbed a lot, Javier.”

Alex’s face is unreadable and Henry thinks perhaps he’s taken this a step too far.

“Sorry,” he mumbles.

Alex waves him off. “I probably deserved that, but for different reasons, I couldn’t be honest. You can understand that, can’t you?”

Henry imagines himself in Alex’s shoes, a man with a certain level of public notoriety. He can picture how difficult it might be to forge genuine connections with people when there’s an underlying fear that it’s merely seen as an opportunity for a quick fifteen minutes of fame.

“I can. I’m not actually mad. I’m just…God, the last twenty four hours have been some of the most confusing for me.”

Alex laughs dryly. “You’re telling me.”

Henry can sense there’s a backstory here, but he doubts he’s in a position to ask for details. Instead, he takes a cleansing breath.

“Had I known this meeting was with you, I wouldn’t have taken it. I’m clearly not the right person to have on this project. When Zahra gets back, I can let her know. Or I’ll have Shaan phone her later.”

Alex’s head snaps back a bit as if he’s been struck.

“Whoa, wait. Henry,” he says softly and instantly Henry’s brought back to last night, the way Alex rasped his name.

He squeezes eyes shut, blocks out the memory before pulling himself back into the moment.

“We’ve gone through so many freaking portfolios and yours really stood out the most. That doesn’t suddenly change just because of yesterday. We called you in on merit, on your talent. I still think you’d be the best person for the job. You don’t even know just how perfect you are for this. Please consider it? Whatever happened between us, we can just ignore it and start fresh.”

Henry searches his eyes trying to see if he can detect any underlying doubt but Alex’s face is completely earnest. 

Before he can answer, Zahra comes bounding back to the table. Her presence is so commanding, people from other tables stare after as she passes by.

She either doesn’t notice or she simply doesn’t care. Either way, Henry is in awe of her.

“Okay. Where were we?” she says as she settles into her seat.

Henry still feels shaken by Alex’s plea and the curiosity he felt before is only amplified tenfold as Alex’s words play on a loop in his head.

Why would Henry of all people be the ideal candidate, even with their recent history?

“Right,” Zahra continues, clapping her hands together. “Alex will be hitting the con circuit in full force while the announcement goes live in two weeks. You’d go with him, getting complete access to panels and photoshoots, everything so you can shadow him for research.”

“The announcement?” Henry interjects.

“Crescent Valley will be doing a reunion special,” Alex answers. “It’s under wraps for now, but we’ll be breaking the news during this tour. It’s something fans have been asking for for years now. We know it’ll get a ton of great coverage. But when we start out at the first stop in Portland, you’ll be able to get the hang of what it’s like on the road before the madness kicks in.”

“And, uh, how many stops exactly?” Henry asks, his head already hurting at the mere thought of the costs.

Zahra must pick up on it as she says, “Ten-city tour this time around plus time in L.A for reunion-related filming. All your travel expenses and lodging will be covered. You’ll also receive a per diem while you’re on the road with Alex for these three months.”

She picks up her glass and takes a sip of her wine.

“You’ve got a damn good agent in Shaan. He negotiated for an advance as well. You’re practically robbing the publisher, but honestly, good for you. You’d be worth every cent.”

It’s a lucrative deal, far more than Henry could have imagined. A multi-city tour, an advance. It sounds too good to be true. Last night he’d had one foot out the door with this career. Now, it felt as if a red carpet was being rolled out at his feet.

“So, what do you say? Can we tempt you?” Zahra asks. Henry is quickly learning to appreciate how direct she is, even if it is slightly intimidating.

Henry can’t help it; he looks right at Alex then.

“I can honestly say you’ve already succeeded in that.” 

He holds Alex’s gaze for a moment before he looks back at Zahra. 

“I’m in.”

~*~*~

Henry spends the better part of the day after lunch falling down a rabbit hole of YouTube videos of Alex, everything from Entertainment Weekly interviews to fanvids. The content is bottomless and if there’s one thing to be clear, it’s that Shaan was right. Alex’s fanbase is devoted, the comments sections overrun with people making declarations of love for both Alex and his character. On more than one occasion, he’s seen oaths from people vowing they’d leave their current relationships if given the chance to date Alex.

From their ferocity, Henry doesn’t think they’re being hyperbolic.

He’s part way through Alex’s BuzzFeed puppy interview, because of course Alex has one, when he hears Pez coming home from his spot on the couch where he’s spent far too many hours stretched out with his laptop.

Pez enters with a tote bag of groceries on his shoulder and flowers, no doubt from his favorite stall at the farmers market.

“Have you ever heard of an actor named Alex Claremont-Diaz?” he asks Pez by way of a greeting.

Pez stares blankly at him and, for a moment, Henry worries something has happened to his best friend until Pez sets down the flowers and tote bag and plants his hands firmly on his hips.

Henry is sure the look he’s going for is stern or authoritative, but it's very hard to take Pez seriously when he looks more like a deer caught in headlights.

“Are you playing jokes on me? You know I could not shut up about Crescent Valley when we were uni! Of course I know who Alex Claremont-Diaz is, that delicious slice of apple pie.”

Henry snorts a laugh, keeping himself back from saying he’s actually had a taste firsthand.

“Why the sudden interest in him?” Pez asks, picking up his discarded items. Henry follows him into the kitchen.

“We had lunch.”

Pez turns back sharply from the cupboard he’s just opened.

“Pardon me? You and whom exactly? Certainly not Alex Claremont-Diaz! That simply cannot be. That is not news you just oh so casually drop like you’re giving me a weather update, Hen. Are you positive you didn’t meet aliens last night? Surely you’ve been possessed. One night stands and rubbing elbows with celebrities. I mean, my word.”

Henry smiles to himself. If only Pez knew the totality of it, of the way this all intersects.

“Paint the scene! But start from the beginning. How in the world did you end up on a lunch date with Alex Claremont-Diaz, the man I once believed was my destiny?”

Henry rolls his eyes at the latter part of Pez’s words.

“I will tell you, but only if you stop using his full name every two seconds. You can just say Alex.”

“Oh, well. Excuse me. Have I been replaced? Have you gone off and made a new best friend then? Your precious Alex,” he says, fluttering his lashes on the name.

Henry scoffs.

“I haven’t been able to cut you loose yet, so I’d wager you’ve earned your stay in my life, much to my dismay,” he teases before he starts to explain Shaan’s call and the snowball that his afternoon became as a result of it.

“This is unreal,” Pez says by the end of it, awe coloring his tone. “Where’s the first stop?”

“Portland.”

Pez claps his hands together.

“We must go shopping for flannel at once.”

Henry gives him a deadpan look.

“What? They’d probably bar you from entry into the state if you don’t look the part,” Pez jokes.

“You just want an excuse to dress me up like I’m a Ken doll.”

“But, I mean…aren’t you though? You strapping young lad you.”

Henry rolls his eyes and smiles.

“I’m going to miss you. It’ll be strange going weeks, months really, without having you around.”

Pez puts the back of his hand against his forehead and drapes himself dramatically over the counter.

“I suppose I’ll have to fend for myself. You can write me letters. Carry my photo in a locket to remember me by. Tattoo my name on your heart so that I know the love is real.”