dances with wolves;;

Them: you sleepy? Me: nahh I’m good Them: alright,, wyd Me: *falls asleep*

She felt like she was going to be sick again, but this time she could only hold onto her forehead- feeling it pulse and throb with no way to stop it. Ben had done nothing wrong. It wasn’t his fault. It was hers. But when he asked why she hadn’t gone over to him she didn’t have a subtle answer to the question so she stayed quiet. Teeth sinking into her lower lip as she felt tears slip down her cheeks. “ I’m sorry I- I don’t wanna hurt you. I don’t wanna be this fucking way anymore. “ She whimpered, gaze fallen to the ground, rubbing damp cheeks. “ I’m sorry I- I haven’t ever… I mean… I just– My head hurts… I just wanna be someone who’s worth something to you… I- I mean… I wanna- I- FUCK… I don’t know. I just want to be normal, ‘nd have a normal life with you being my fucking husband and I want kids and I don’t want to be this way anymore… I don’t wanna hurt you… I don’t wanna… I just want to be the person that I’m supposed to be… someone you deserve to have as a future wife. “ She cried out, turning to sink her head into his chest. “ All I am now is just- fucking… I feel like I’m nothing… I feel sick. I feel like a fucking failure… “

Ben was getting a little concerned with how pale she was getting, knowing that he was going to have to stay close to her, making sure that she didn’t fall or get sick without him there to take care of her. While he was so firm with her earlier, he was now just trying to do damage control and help her. “A’kay...just...stop...calm down, I’m here, Lila. You are worth something to me. You are, it is just sometimes you forget your priorities, and you want to have a good time. Which I understand...but...I want to have you as my wife...have a few children with you. But before we can even think of supporting someone else...you have to support yourself. I love you...you will be a great mother but you need..to get your feet back on the ground first.” Moving some hair from her face he sighed, “You aren’t a failure, you haven’t failed yet. You just...you need to realize what you’re doing is wrong. And figure out a way that you can have a life, a life with me.”

She could only tell that he’d stopped the car because it had jerked to a stop at the side of the road, her breath had begun to catch in the middle of her throat, feeling the air stop momentarily when he grabbed a hold of her. It wasn’t everyday that he got aggressive. The jerk of her chin was enough to snap her- momentarily- from hyperventilating. Tears streaming down her cheeks freely as he spoke. He scared her. In fact the notion of being left alone- of being without him for any number of time caused a sob to be choked out. “ B- Baby don’t leave me… please… p- please d- don’t say that. “ She croaked out, receding back into her own body before fiddling with the door and finally getting it opened. She needed air, and there was none in this car. Lila wasn’t sure where they were but the side of the road was lined with grass and so all she did was come to a stop where the taller grass started, sucking in as much air as she could before feeling him right beside her. “ I don’t wanna lose you… I just want to be okay. I just want us to be okay… I love you more than I love myself w- why don’t you see that? I- I just need to- I need to f- feel like I’m safe… “ 

He didn’t know what was really going on in her head, and while he wanted to help, sometimes Lila did better when she just had a few moments to breath. He sat there in silence while she rambled again and then started to reach for the door. When she exited the car he followed after her, making sure that he never left her side. No matter how much he threatened it, Ben never would actually leave her. There was so much love there, it was impossible to just leave. When he got back next to her he frowned when she said that she just wanted to feel safe. “If that’s what you wanted, then when did you leave me? I’m the one that keeps to safe....I can’t do that when you just walk out on me.” He moved close to her, lacing his fingers between hers tightly. “Look...I’m...I’m here but you can’t do this to me anymore.”

Jake looked up at him, then down at their hands and thought for a moment. “You’re lucky I like you.” he finished finally, his own head leaning against Ryan’s. “What do moved-in people do together that we don’t already? I mean, I can get mail sent here. And if I ever get my license – I will, I swear – it’ll say forty-six instead of forty-eight. And hey, if we ever fight, it’s not like you have to feel bad about kicking me out for the night.” he joked, nudging the other’s leg with his own.

Ryan could only roll his eyes Jake was always the type to make a comment like that to him, “Yeah, yeah, I like you too.” It had been on his mind lately, thinking about using the word love with him. But he worried still that it was too much for Jake and he thought moving it would make it easier before springing something like that on him. With a shrug he pulled Jake over and straddling  his lap, “There’s not much of a difference, which is why you might as well just move in. You would just have to stay here every night. Plus, I would let you redecorate the whole bedroom too. Whatever colors you want.” With a smirk he playfully nipped at Jake’s bottom lip, “Even though we’ll quickly mess up the sheets anyways.”

          PERHAPS it was the heat of the moment, but something inside jordyn had snapped. her life was great, her career was at an ultimate high, she had more money than she could ever dream of —but, the only time she was truly happy was when she was with eli. there was nothing that compared to the feeling she got when she was around him. climbing up into his lap she looked down, taking his chin in her hand and directing him to look up at her and not at the TV, “baby, tell me where you wanna run,” she whispered. leaning down she placed a soft kiss on his lips, “take my hand, you can burn this city with me.” she kissed his lips again, a little harder this time, before nipping at his bottom lip and whispering, “let’s get married. tonight. and then we can hop on the next red eye out of here to wherever it takes us and we can just… LIVE for a few weeks.” she knew eventually, as much as she wished she could just run away forever, she’d have to come back for tour. –this was perhaps one of the most adventurous moments she had had, but she was whole heartedly wanting to do it. 

          eli was taking today to just relax, him and jordyn just getting back from a huge weekend full of events and things getting ready for her tour that was coming up. he couldn’t wait to crawl into bed with his girl and just forget about anything else. focused on the baseball game his eyes only moved from the screen when jordyn pulled his jaw and their eyes collected. he saw a liveliness that he usually didn’t within them and it really made him grin from ear to ear. when he heard what she wanted to do, there wasn’t even a SECOND of hesitation before he smirked up at her, taking her cheeks in his hands, “yes.” that’s all he needed, bringing her down into a firm, passionate kiss, forgetting about what was going on for a while he pulled away when he breath got short before he said, “me and you baby, let’s do it. i wanna marry you right now. we will go and then we’ll just go to the airport, pick somewhere on the map.” he kissed her lips once more, “i love you so fucking much, i want this.”

The kiss caught him off guard, though the question was far more shocking. He pulled away for a second to survey Ryan’s face, make sure that he wasn’t going to burst into laughter and say ‘April Fool’s’ or something (even though he was about nintety-eight percent sure that it was May). “Seriously?” he asked, chewing on his lower lip for a moment. “Like – I’m not saying no, I’m really not saying no. But I’d feel bad if I were to just live in your house and not contribute.” he stated, moving back down to rest against his boyfriend once again. “I can ask my parents for my school money. I don’t need it since I got the scholarship, so it’s really just sitting there. And, like, I’m almost twenty-two. I’m entitled legally. I think.”

Ryan should have known that Jake wasn’t going to make this easy at all for him. With a long sigh, he rested his head on the boys shoulder. THe older boy took the popcorn and set it on the table before taking Jake’s hand and tangling their fingers together. “I’m serious. I want you to move in with me,” he said lifting his head enough to meet up with his eyes again. “Baby, c’mon at least just..move in and when school is all done and over with you can worry about the money. Look you’re here all the time anywaYs, there’s no difference.”