Why Are You Here?

My credentials for this:

1. I’ve never played the game

2. I go outside

3. I heard about this game from a video essay on postal

4. I watched one play through of this game and read the fandom wiki

5. There is nothing else made for this game so you really can’t be picky

this is based in my AU, but Psychocop and a group of his friends tried to do something similar to what the group is now back in the 90s, he’s the only one who’s still alive and sometimes the others will do something that reminds him of his old friends and he gets a dull pain in his chest knowing it will end the same way

Not really a headcanon, but I think it would be extremely funny if Notim was put in a situation similar to Steve Harrington from Stranger Things and becomes a parental figure to random kids that won’t leave him alone.

keeping on the theme of video games, here are the kids he’s forced to be a paternal figure to:

Jimmy Hopkins and Gary Smith

Little Misfortune

Fran bow

Sal fisher

Any and all do the kids in the game kindergarten

Recidivist: so what’s it like living in Albainia?

Notim: I don’t know, I’m from Serbia

Widowmaker: can you read this? It’s Russian

Notim: well I’m not so no I can’t read it

Psychocop: you’re from Siberia, right?

Hamilton = Postal dude

Aaron Burr = James Earl Cash

Eliza = Dude’s wife

Angelica = Widowmaker

George Washington = Uncle Dave

King George III = Lionel Starkweather

John Laurens = Jacket

Marquis de Lafayette = idk

Hercules Mulligan = Recidivist

Peggy = Postal Doe

Philip Hamilton = Jimmy Hopkins

Thomas Jefferson = Notim Portant

James Madison = Simon Henriksson

Maria Reynolds = idk

Widowmaker:

Thermodynamic Lawyer by Will Wood

Angel Eyes and Basketball by Foot Ox

Rebel Girl by Bikini Kills

Recidivist:

Burn It All by Rent Strike

Let’s Lynch the Landlord by Dead Kennedy’s

New Mexico Song by Johnny Hobo and the Freight Trains

Antagonist:

Harness Your Hopes by Pavement 

Brand New City by Mitski

Buried Alive by Radio Werewolf

Psychocop: 

Ain’t No Rest For The Wicked by Caged Elephant 

I Can’t Decide by Scissor Sisters

Feed The Machine by Poor Man’s Poison

Postal Dude:

Coffee, God, and Cigarettes by Mischief Brew

My Darling Dopamine by Days N Daze

I’m Not a Good Person by Pat the Bunny

Postal Doe

Drink it, Smoke it, Snort it, Shoot it by Sailor Mel 

Maggot by Slutever

Here are some of my Nottim headcanons:

Doesn’t talk about his life, like at all, but will randomly mention something and then never bring it up ever again, for example, Recidivist once asked him how he got a scar on his arm and he said

“my dad threw me down the stairs when I was 14 and I landed on a vase.” And then never elaborated

The reason his skin is so pale to almost looking grey is because he’s Anemic

He likes to chew or hold things in his mouth, mainly pens, but will also do so with metal things like paper clips because he likes the taste

His larynx is partially paralyzed so half of the time he speaks in sign language

Has a bunch of piercings from when he was in high school or college, he did most of them himself because it was cheaper, he also has a few stick and pokes but they’re pretty faded

He’s vegetarian but nobody believes he’s vegetarian

He’s struggled with self harm for a large portion of his life, which is why he did all his piercings and stuff himself

Weirdest moral compass ever, he will happily kill civilians but thinks it’s cruel to eat animals

He gets super agitated and defensive when directly asked about his past but he freezes like a deer in headlights when he’s reminded of it

Randomly forgets everyone else doesn’t understand Serbian and will just start speaking it

Before he dropped out of college, he got certified in CPR and PALS and was learning to be certified in NPR

In the game, the characters are referred to as the horsemen because they are trying to kill all of humanity, in this AU, it’s also because they are a horseman of the apocalypse, which I shall specify here:

• Antagonist/Nottim: Famine, in his backstory for this AU (which is posted) Nottim had to try and balance everything around him to try and maintain stability for him and his sister, which in many cases left them on the edge of poverty and going hungry.

• Widowmaker/Kath: Pestilence, in her canon backstory it said she always felt out of place and unwanted, and the reason for that int anything she did, but due to the fact being around her made people feel sick. Like genuinely sick, the only reason the others aren’t affected is because they’re other horsemen.

• Recidivist/Desmond: War, I feel like his entire life he fought for something, food, a job, and now this, I think it also fits him because there are no winners in war, and he was never a winner in life

• Psychocop/Henry: Conquest, given the fact he himself didn’t choose this and conquest is never a chosen thing, however I think there’s another reason and I’ll get to that in a second

if you’re wondering why none of them are death, the reason is because they’re all death.

So here’s how the horseman thing works:

every few years, there’s a group somewhere, anywhere, that tries to bring the fall of humanity, these people differ from backgrounds and cultures but one thing remains the same, there’s always four. And once you’re chosen there’s nothing you can do but accept it. And the only way for a new group to be chosen is for all members of the previous group to die, literally or otherwise.

a few examples of other groups include:

In the 1700s, it was a group of nuns in Italy

In the 1920s, it was two bootleggers, a moonshiner, and a jazz singer in America

In the 1800s, it was circus performers

but the group that matters right now is the one in the 90s, where all but one died, Conquest. He decided to try and escape his fate, and train to be a police officer.