renee ⋆.࿐࿔

It was always a miracle to people how Yuuji Itadori still smiled brighter than any sun worth flying towards. The air around him seemed to prance in joy, flowers continuing to bloom even if the world never gave any rain. Maybe they grew from the tears Yuuji was unashamed to shed–another miracle to others. How his shell was so closely tied to the grief of his soul that he took the paintbrush himself and painted his emotions–not for the world to see, but because he refused to become blank.

It was nothing but miraculous to others how Yuuji still cared about matters that seemed nothing above trivial. The loneliness of others, if they’ve eaten or are still unable to stomach the horrors of the jujutsu world that never seemed to stop. The darkness in someone’s eyes–understatements of what’s been. A smile on him was a smile to everyone–so he kept smiling. Not to hide, and not to fake. But because it’s what he knew everyone, including himself, needed.

So it was truly a miracle that Yuuji found someone just like that for him. Yuuji was only human–he’d need his own sunshine. His own caffeine in an early morning, the first flower to bloom the spring after winter, and the only star he can see. Yuuji was only human–even if he wore his heart on his sleeve, the world didn’t care. The world of jujutsu around him definitely didn’t.

But you did.

Upon meeting you a little over a year Sukuna was defeated, he’d only seen you as another companion. One much like his peers at Tokyo and Kyoto high. One who’s seen souls ripped apart to shreds in this society, yet still stays and still goes on. One who mirrored his eyes a little too well, and soon–Yuuji started to think the glow in his eyes mirrored the daylight of your own smile.

Maybe he was the moon instead of the sun–because while he could illuminate the night, you were what he would wake up to. You were what allowed him to go out in the world, shine your rays and hold conversations of what he’d dreamed of the night before. Never always pretty, but always there.

But honestly, it barely mattered to him what he was–because upon bathing in your sunlight he only ever wanted to be yours. He wanted to drink you in, have the flames of your essence burn his throat and hold you close every single night. He saw the shine in you that hypnotized him–how your laugh cleared skies and how your eyes shrank the world enough to only fit the two of you. Your touch painted his scars as something unfathomably intimate between the two of you, stars twinkling whenever you did. The mocking of the world barely seemed to exist anymore with you–not when you became his world. Not when you were but enthralling–the only color he wanted his world to be.

So when Yuuji got down on one knee and asked you to be his, body, soul, and mind, and swore to do the same to you, you saying yes with tears in your eyes was the sweetest, most transfixing melody that fell onto his ears. Much more than the wedding bells–but never more than you in that white dress, walking down the aisle.

The night after the wedding was full of heavy lungs but uplifted spirits. Throwing your shoes off and walking into the hotel room that Yuuji had booked for you two that night was what Yuuji wanted for the rest of his life. And Yuuji was never selfish–except for you.

“Weddings are so tiring…” You exhaled the words out, flopping onto the bed despite your gown. Yuuji knew you couldn’t care less, and he took off his jacket as he watched you get comfortable, walking over.

“We have all night to rest.” He throws his jacket somewhere, hovering over you as he cups your cheek and presses the world’s softest kiss onto your lips–they deserve it. And, oh–save him, for the way you snaked your arms around his shoulders he almost melts right then and there.

You bring him closer. “Two nights, technically. Since you booked that.”

His arms are at either side of your head, his eyes never leaving yours even as you start to unbutton his shirt. It’s an action full of care–release. “Anything for my wife.”

You laugh, bringing your hands up to his face and kissing him, feeling him smile against your lips as he holds one of your wrists. “You’re always so selfless, Yuuji.”

He keeps your wrist in the grasp of his hand, fingers circling it gently as if it were sacred, kissing your palm like it was his last time doing so. He closes his eyes, muffling his voice in your hand. “I think I feel a little selfish right now, though.”

A laugh escapes you as you shake your head–all Yuuji can hear and see even in such a fleeting moment. Your thumb brushes the skin of his face, its caresses a feeling Yuuji wishes he could immortalize with his own blood on a canvas. For him, mostly, but to show off to the world how he’s received a magical touch that no one else can. “How so, hm?

He opens his eyes, meeting yours, feeling as if it were the first time he ever did. He doesn’t think he could ever look away from it. He releases your wrist and traces your face–the edges of it. He traces it like his finger was a feather, outlining the parts where the skin and flesh falls over your bones. He wonders, how even the inside of you looks. “Promise me one thing.”

You lean into his touch. He wants to glue you there. “What is it?”

Seconds stretch out as he connects his forehead with yours, one hand running down your bare arm, one hand steady on your face. “Die after me. Outlive me. I don’t want to live a day without you.” He breathes against your lips, his words like a confession. 

“That is my one selfish ask.”

When he pulls back and looks into those eyes that sparkle more than any jewel, he can almost hear his heart cracking on a morning without you. Those eyes–he’d blind himself with them just to be with you for the rest of his life.

So when a soft, breathy laughter bubbles up your throat, he places a hand on your waist, tying his heart to yours. “I’ll try my best, then.”

And you seal it with a kiss. You seal the attempt of the promise with bringing him closer and closer, the night belonging to only the two of you. Your souls are tangled into one, unable to tell which is which as both your colors mix. And Yuuji can’t strive for anything more anymore. Yuuji can’t have anything else. He wants to kiss you as gold surrounds you two and binds you two together in a frame. 

He can't let go. He won’t let go. Not ever, not in the future–his soul binds with yours. His heart bleeds for you, every exhaling breath carrying your name on it. And time doesn’t exist anymore.

~~~

Time didn’t exist anymore. Not when Yuuji created puddles of raindrops as he entered the place you two shared. If water had a spirit, then why did it mock his? Why did it side with time? 

His shoes were soaked from bathing under the pouring rain outside, sloshing around as he kicked them off and walked into the house of nothingness. No sunlight, no jewel, no more blood to shed but his own.

He needed to see the sparkle in your eyes again, and the rain poured louder when he saw the subtle light reflected on the clock that ticked and ticked and ticked. Ticked louder than his breath but joint hands with the volume of the thunderstorm outside. Too damn loud.

It reached the floor. Enough for springs to pop out and the hands to separate, not moving in sync anymore but instead lacking any sort of animation. Glass–iridescent glass–it colored the floor as if it were to erase how monotone it was. Yuuji stepped over it.

Good. Time didn’t exist anymore. Not in this household. Not when Yuuji’s hands were cut up, bleeding as glass dug into his palms and fingers. Numbers were all over the floor, hands discarded–there were no more clocks iaround.

He washes his hands, redness spreading everywhere in the sink and throughout his body. Glass shards clinking nonstop along with the sound of the water running. What was left of his humanity sewed his fingers back onto his hand as blood squeezed out–the same hands that caressed the wrinkles on your face when he lacked his own.

Because all of it was still nothing but a miracle to Yuuji. How you still looked like birds flew to you when you spoke as if every word was a melody. How your hands despite trembling would caress the same soft features he had when he was younger. How your kiss felt the same as it did on your wedding day.

Puddles continued to create as he took further steps, mixing in with the dropping sweat from his forehead as he followed the familiar route to where you were. It was cold–but you could be there.

And you were. Buried, under the hard sheets made of a tree. And Yuuji sat next to you, his wet fabric connecting with that of what’s under him–but oh, you looked so delicate lying there. SO delicate as if you had been taken by the hands of Earth.

He lies himself next to you, makes enough space to cup your face, feeling the hard remains of it. He brushes his thumb over your cheekbone, and when he looks into the night of your eyes he hums a soft tune that matches the tempo of the rain. The grinning smile he paints himself with a brush of his finger, the laughter that sways with the raindroplets–it’s all within the palm of his hand–and he meant it. He’d never let you go.

The kiss he places on you feels like blowing into empty space, needing to fill it with something. And when he wraps his arms around you, he becomes as immobile as you as he closes his eyes, letting the hard warmth fill what’s left of his spirit.

“My love…” he whispers. “Who knew you could still be so beautiful centuries later?”

And his whispers are barely any louder than the rain but only loud enough to fall onto your ears. The ears he’d whisper and sing into. The ears he still whispers and sings into. He leans in.

“You truly are…a miracle.” He exhales the words as if he’s admitting them for the first time–like he’s never tasted just how truly you meant the world to him. The breath of his words fall deaf onto Earth. “Everything you did was immaculate.”

But he chuckles softly, his laughter almost turning into a tune–a hymn, a melody. He interlocks his fingers with yours, making sure his wrap around your hand even if yours can’t. Time didn’t have to exist here–only you did. Only he did. Only the intertwining of what was left of your souls did. 

“A broken promise isn’t always a lie, my love,” he places one last kiss on your forehead–gentle, fearful. “Maybe you really did just try your best.”

He pulls back, and stares into the nothingness that is your eyes. His voice cracks like the sharpness of the wind, and he brings your palm to his lips. He tastes the combination of you and the truth behind his words.

“And I promise…I am too.”

masterlist.

jjk taglist: open, js lmk :)

@megumismyhusband or @riuvy / @reverd-ck / @falsedivide / @catboygumi

a/n: i'm...back? question mark? with a really questionable writing that is very different from my usual fics? listen it is midnight and i really really wanted to get something out because my gosh do i miss writing and publishing and being active on here and idk how i wrote this but i just did okay. hello yuuji my son ily. HI EVERYONE IM BACK and i will defo try to be back more! my job has been killing me but im slowly getting over it and ill try my best to publish at least 1k word fics often! i could NEVER not write or leave writing and my goodness did i just miss fanfics as a whole reading and writing and AH well im here now LOLOLOL. dont come at me idk what i wrote here its sooooooo impulsive like jeez i looked at my giant shakespeare book and went ah yes. that scene. lets write smth inspired by it. and here we are. thank you SO much for reading i literally love you so much and im getting an immense amount of joy just from publishing on heer once again. LOVE YOU ALL!!!

- ying ☆