reve

Momo, my sweet boy, my familiar, my first feline companion is back! Returned after 2 fucking years. And on the evening when I came back to Bombay from a trip. It's been a whole week since his return. I'm still grappling with it. I'm also confused as to what I'm supposed to feel. Sure, I feel momentary joy when he greets me, and it's calming when he sits on my lap and purrs quietly.

But I spent so much time in grieving and longing in 2019, that a part of me has grown detached. And my mind is barking away at me, telling me not to get used to his presence, not to look forward to meeting him. And it's here to protect me; because at the end of the day, this is the nature of our relationship- we are both free spirits, we were never bound to each other in any way. And him being a cat, and notorious for abandoning whenever the fuck they want - it's only best to not engage fully with him now.

I asked tarot to interpret this image, just to see what comes up. And the card that came up is (yet again) spot on and opens up so much more for further study. Both the 7 of cups and the photo have clouds and a small portion of blue sky in it. I was sitting beneath this gorgeous expanse (almost a part of it and yet not), and taking the photo. The clouds were clearing slowly. A metaphor obviously. There were many elements and things that I was noticing while gazing at that one gorgeous sight. There were multiple sights to take in and place my focus upon within this large expanse.

But my eyes were not open to what the visual was really offering me. Because I was on call with TJ while looking at this view of the valley. My attention was split between the sight of mountains and what I was conversing with, with TJ. During the time I spent at this particular spot, which I don't resort to usually, we were talking about films. Again, something related to visuals, to seeing, witnessing and interpreting. A film was unfolding in front of my eyes too, with the most travelling downhill and the clouds clearing up and the sky turning into a shade of enticing blue.

I remember how relaxed I felt thought, while I was sitting there. Just like the cat in the card, who's napping on the grass. Even though there were flies around, they didn't seem to bother me too much. The space and the energy of the spot was comforting and lovely. One could call it an escape even. Which is essentially the energy of 7 of cups - conducive to daydreaming.

"When we open to the terrifying truth that we can't control life (6 of swords),

We open to life's incredible, for fragile beauty." (6 of cups)

Continuing my new practice of pulling cards for quotes and poems. This pull is spot on and so revelatory of deeper meanings of these two cards. The possibilities and interpretations with this practice are endless and have got me so excited! :D

"Let everything happen to you, beauty and terror. Just keep going. No feeling is final" - Rilke

(pulling cards for quotes and verses, to see how tarot interprets it.)