i am made of memories

My beliefs about hell are different from many Christians. Because of this, I’m in the interesting position of being exempt from the age-old atheist criticism that “if you love God just so He doesn’t send you to hell, do you actually love Him?” and am also constantly realizing how many Christians are not exempt from it. You don’t pray because you like to? You don’t enjoy God’s presence? You want to wait until you die and *hopefully* go to heaven before you actually know Him? Why wait until then? Why not have a relationship with God because you simply want to? Your prayer life should not be transactional. You are doing yourself and God a disservice by treating it as such.

sometimes I wish I was a Christian so I could believe my suffering had a purpose but I’m not and it doesn’t