RAMBLES OF A STREAMER

part two of my thoughts on things at the moment.

Streaming...

Well, its had its ups and downs, but it has been worth the journey I took into daily streaming. However I feel as if the wind may be changing so to speak. Recently I've become increasingly frustrated at the fact that I haven't really made any progress. Looking back on it, I've actually regressed in some ways over the past two and a half years. That's where mentally I fall down with it and I feel unhappy.

No one is entitled to viewers, of course. But I've put a lot of effort into making my stream look nice, improve my mood, interact with others a bit more amongst other things. But its just not come off for me. I've even tried some of the networking things lately. I've tried singleplayer content, multiplayer content, shows, random streams, new games, old games. It just feels like nothing has worked for me. I'm wondering whether to seek out assistance from people who know how to network properly, leave it as it is, or just walk away. Ultimately at the end of the day I don't think I'm the right "fit" for what a Twitch viewer wants to see. I'm not interesting enough, or charasmatic enough, or really good at a game to make it worthwhile. I've started to mentally reach a point of "what's the point" anymore towards anything, which probably doesn't help matters.

I am about ready to call it quits and do something else, likely when I pick up work. It'd be the ideal ending point really. There would be no time to contemplate what I'd lost as I'd be busy with other things. Its just probably taken me several years to really see it. Being in content creation for six and a half years does give you some perspective at least.

I've felt like I've reached my peak also, and now we're past that and I'm still here. It almost feels like I should have gone six months ago or so. But I still find myself here, unable to change what I do through fear of what might happen.

The funny thing is, I enjoy the stream the most when I'm actually there, and I forget about all this trivial stuff around it while I'm focused on a game or talking about something I feel passionate about. But obviously other people do not share this view or I would have kept some of my viewers or gotten new ones. I can at least say I've given it my best shot and I always tried my hardest to make things as good as they can be.

basically, this is really the only place I have where I can vent without feeling like its going to upset or frustrate anyone.

I just kinda want to ramble a bit, get some feelings off my chest. I'm just a little upset at the moment, I feel really left out of a lot of things. Everyone is getting their groups and gaming together and hanging out a lot. I just feel like that doesn't happen for me. I feel like people don't even contemplate me. I'm just like this existance that everyone knows about but no one really wants to talk too extensively or spend time with. A lot of compliments I get are from people I rarely see, and seem rather hollow. This just creates this mentality of loneliness around me. Being invited to something every now and again would be nice. But even simpler than that, just having a group conversation about something would feel so good. I have a hard time connecting with new people. I always feel estranged and for the most part. Most of my friends feel just like good acquaintances. I miss my boyfriend a lot too, he's very busy now. But that's just how it goes, its unhealthy to rely on one person anyway.

Game Name: Mystic Heroes

Release Date(s):

GameCube: March 29th 2002

Genre: Beat em’ up

Played: No

Brief:

Mystic Heroes is a beat em’ up fighting game like Koei’s (the developers) other beat em’ up title, Dynasty Warriors. The game features a single player story mode and four playable characters, with a further four unlockable in the PS2 release of the game. It also contains three other single player modes and a co-op and versus multiplayer modes.

Points of Interest:

The game was relatively short and simple, players could choose from one of four characters, the four listed in the plot below. Each can perform melee attacks and elemental spells which get stronger with continuous use. The single player campaign features only eight stages, and while unlockables were an added incentive in the PS2 version, it didn’t offer much other more well known beat em’ ups provided. The game only scored around 60% with the Playstation version faring slightly better in the ratings. The game did get a positive reception in Japan however with a score of 33 and 32 for the GameCube and PS2 versions respectively. The plot was of particular interest to those wanting to delve into Chinese culture and fiction, but beyond that little more. Developers Koei already had a successful beat em’ up franchise which still exists today in the form of Dynasty Warriors. So this game remained largely under the radar.

Plot Summary:

Based loosely on real world Chinese history and a fictional supernatural novel Fengshen Yanyi covering the fall of the Shang Dynasty and paving way for the Zhou Dynasty. During the Shang Dynasty in a legendary land Emperor Kang and his wife Sheva ruled in a dictor style fashion. Two elite ‘mystics’ known as Tai and Naja sealed them away in Mt. Houshin, in an attempt to restore peace to the land. Unknown to them Kang’s son survived, and built an army to battle these mystics in order to free his father. During this period another two mystics joined the fight known as Shiga and Lani joined the fight, they were again victorious. Since then the Emperor has grown restless and together with his generals starts to plan an escape. One of the generals (Grifon) brings up something known as a Dragon Star which could free them from their banishment. Kang calls upon the power of the Dragon Star and they are all set free giving Kang a chance to rise to power. So yet again the mystics must stop the advancing forces and restore peace to this world.

Game Name: Pac Attack (known as Pac-Panick in some EU and JP versions)

Release Date(s):

Super Nintendo/Sega Genesis: June 15th 1993

Genre: Puzzle

Played: No

Brief:

Pac-man meets Tetris? This strange little game seemingly tried to mesh two popular franchises together on the SNES and Sega Genesis in the early nineties, but was it a success?

Points of Interest:

This game was set in the style of Tetris but with Pacman themed characters in blocks in the form of Ghosts, Blocks, Pac Man and one Fairy if the meter was full onto the ground. The objective like in Tetris is to not let the board overflow. Make lines to reduce the number of blocks which can be achieved by making Pacman eat the ghosts and by completely filling in lines. Whenever Pacman eats a ghost part of the fairy meter will fill up. When completely full a fairy will be dropped, once the fairy lands on anything it will wave a wand and every ghost in eight lines below will be cleared, often resulting in a large number of lines being cleared and a bonus awarded. Pac-Attack also has a two player mode included in which player one must eat Blinky, while player two must eat Sue, the purple ghost from Pac-Mania. As players complete lines and eat up ghosts they will drop more ghosts into their opponent's board, messing up their progress and bringing them closer to the top. The game also came with a puzzle mode, this mode centered around 100 stages that needed to be cleared by eating every ghost with a certain number of Pac-man’s for each stage. If the player fails they can simply retry the level. Reviews were mixed on this particular title, with many noting its good puzzles but simple graphics. Its different modes including a multiplayer mode was praised and in a later release on the Phillips CDi, it was noted it would be better suited for a younger audience, with adults preferring Tetris for the platform. The game itself has been re-released a number of times after initially releasing on the SNES and Genesis, a year later saw its release on the handhelds GameGear and GameBoy, belonging to Sega and Nintendo respectively. Later than released as part of the Namco Anthology 2 for the PS1 and then in 2010 the game was demaked onto iOS using graphics from the original Pac-Man arcade game. Overall it appears that this game didn’t exactly rumble the market or come up with much revolutionary, but held its own and provided enough interest to be worthwhile for someone's time.

Plot Summary:

Being a puzzle game similar to Tetris, and Pac-Man itself containing relatively little plot, there isn’t much to say here for this one.

Game Name: SpongeBob's Atlantis SquarePantis

Release Date(s):

Nintendo DS/GBA/Playstation 2: October 23rd, 2007

Genre: Action Adventure

Played: No

Brief:

We meet our favourite Sea Sponge from our childhoods in this game about stopping Plankton from causing chaos with a tank he has stolen from Atlantis and adventures with the gang that lead to this situation.

Points of Interest:

Gameplay between the Nintendo DS/GBA and PS2/Wii versions are wildly different largely based on the capabilities of consoles and. handhelds. The handheld version played the characters working in pairs which could be changed at a changing station to solve puzzles, each character with a unique ability. Further expansion in the Nintendo DS version was the ability to combine characters to solve puzzles by one picking up another. Whereas the console version dealt with characters individually, they all had unique abilities as with the handhelds to solve challenges. The usage of 3D graphics could be a point of praise for this game across all platforms. The game on the whole largely received negative reviews however with many reviewers labelling the game boring, too easy and even tedious and second rate in some cases. The particularly criticized elements including poor AI and camera control. However the Wii version did make the shooting games more interesting and was given appraisal.

Plot Summary:

One positive this game can claim is a relatively detailed plot. The game begins with the gang escaping from Atlantis while Plankton is on a rampage in a tank he borrowed until he encounters the rest of the gang. It is at this point Spongebob and Patrick recall how all of this happened. They remember they travelled into a cave and found half an Amulet at the bottom and then take it to Bikini Bottom Museum to see what it is. It is at this point Squidward notices they found the other half of the amulet. Once put together they reveal a road to Atlantis powered by a bus. The bus then takes the gang to Atlantis and they meet Lord Royal Highness who gives them a tour of the palace. While the gang are off enjoying the attractions (or stealing, Mr. Krabs), Plankton escapes from the bus and makes his way to the weapons room. Meanwhile Patrick accidentally pops the oldest living bubble. Squidward points out this is obviously a prop and the LRH shows the gang the real bubble which of course Patrick pops and then they are on the run from the Atlantis forces. This concludes the flashback and they are shocked to see Plankton rampaging in a tank but much to Plankton’s dismay it only shoots ice cream. The LRH then captures Plankton believing him to be a talking speck and forming a new national treasure of Atlantis. He then orders his soldiers to destroy the amulet preventing the gang from returning and the gang head back to Bikini Bottom.

Game Name: Castle of Illusion starring Mickey Mouse

Release Date(s):

Sega Genesis: November 20th, 1990

Genre: Platformer

Played: No

Brief:

Castle of Illusion is a classic platformer style game in which the player controls Mickey Mouse on a quest to save Minnie Mouse from an evil witch hellbent on taking Minnie’s youth.

Points of Interest:

At first glance one would say this game is essentially a Mario clone, but Disney. But delving deeper you can find a rather unique charming little platformer here. The levels are challenging but not designed to be very hard, Mickey’s main attack is a bounce action which can be done while jumping. This can defeat enemies or bounce upwards to higher areas. Along with this Mickey can also collect projects such as apples and marbles to throw at enemies. Other items are also awaiting to be discovered that can increase Mickey’s health and grant extra lives along the way. While being relatively short, it seems ideal for a platformer. Reviewers praised the games good graphics, reflecting the Disney characters in good detail for the period and noted its great playability. Other reviewers praised the game's soundtrack and the animation of Mickey Mouse that will set the standard for future Disney games. This was directly referenced through its legacy, with a sequel being made for the Sega Master System in 1992. Much later in 2012 a spiritual successor was made for the 3DS with Mizrabel returning as the main villain, albeit slight visually redesigned. Eventually the game was remade and released on the Playstation Network, Xbox Arcade and PC in September 2013. The game itself modernized with 2.5D gameplay and 3D graphics packaged with a updated soundtrack all under the supervision of the original game's director Emiko Yamamoto.

Plot Summary: