I want to die. But there's this girl I really like and I don't want to hurt her. She tells me she cares about me and she wants to be there for me but I always feel so empty and so alone and she is not changing that. She is also depressed so I feel like I'm just going to make her sad with my sadness. And I don't want that. Usually it's me making her feel better. I don't know what to do. Message her? Just fucking kill myself? Cut? I want to cut but she doesn't want me to. Ugh. Help.
Yes, no, no, and I’m glad she doesn’t want you to.
If she can’t be there for you even though she tries to be, then we’ll figure out another way for you to feel better – and on another note I’ve found that usually it’s not others who fix us, but ourselves (with a little help). Having her there might not suddenly make you feel better, but if having you there makes her feel better and you want to be to here for her, then there is no reason for you to stay away (that is, unless she makes you feel alone and empty. In that case distancing yourself but making sure she gets help from someone else, a professional, would be the best option in my opinion). No matter what though, remember that it’s okay to put yourself before others. If you can and want to help her, then do it, but please make sure you take care of yourself also. That means no cutting, and certainly no harming yourself in any other way - you deserve better than that. I don’t know what exactly is going on in your life right now, but if you can, please talk to someone. A parent, a guardian, a teacher, or anyone else you trust, and then a professional. Please. My hands are tied because whatever I tell you will most likely not be enough, but I need you to be okay, so please reach out to someone who will be able to take action for and with you. Just know that I care, so please stay safe, and I’ll always be here if you need to talk.
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