why?
words racing in my head, i dont know where to start.
i wasnt prepared
“you can do that” back to the first day when i chose to enter this world which everybody kept telling me i should though i have no clue, in the very beginning i know right here in myself, i dont know anything about it, days and days pass, i know i dont want anything in here, but as i live my life with this, i just accepted that this has to be done not for me but for the people who told me to enter this world and to show them i can, i continued though it was tiring. Not until this day happened, i thought i never wanted this, i thought i accepted the part that this is only a matter of life, but as of this moment, my heart shattered into thousand pieces, and now, it matters like death. “yung gwa mo di umabot” only weeks before i “was” suppose to go back into that place, i am still looking for the missing pieces of my heart but before i was able to find all, the pieces i already found suddenly vanished, i thought that was a part of me, i thought. people started to tell me how sorry they are, but i don’t know why i am not sorry for myself, maybe because, it’s clear to me that this isn’t a part of me, i chose to enter this world ‘everybody kept telling me to’ but not what my heart tells me to enter, i listened to the voices of others but not to the voices my heart kept telling me. Now, i’m in the middle of nowhere, i may return to where i have started or i’ll continue
but there’s one piece which remained though i’m pretty sure is not part of mine, a piece that i can surely recognized is not mine but i chose to kept, that piece was given by someone who believed in me in whatever i do or whatever i wanted to do, one who trusts me more that i trust myself, one who is willing to sacrifice a part of him to fill a missing part of me, and so i chose to continue. I know, those shattered pieces of mine where nowhere to be find, because some things fall apart so better things can fall together. and the greatest piece i’ve found this day is the piece i can’t find anywhere but rather i can create on my own.
