sehnsucht. / take as long as you need! don't let yourself get stressed out!
wordstuck meme ; accepting
sehnsucht (âthe inconsolable longing in the human heart for we know not whatâ; a high degree of intense, recurring, and often painful desire for something, particularly if thereâs no hope to attain the desired or when its attainment is uncertain, still far away.)
i.Â
it takes him ten minutes to walk to the station, eight minutes to get on the subway, five intervals of three minute stops to get to his destination.
it takes a minute for him to catch up when he sees ahyeon down the street. sheâs there like she promised, standing under a sign that looks too faded to fit in with neon bar lightsâneon bar lights that somehow soften under the glow of a girl that fits everywhere else.
the minutes add up in the crevices of his beaten wallet because time is valuable and sticks around in hidden places. he scrounges for it during moments like these and always comes up a little short.
heâs going so fast that he canât stop. it only takes three seconds for her smile to fade when he knocks into her and he fishes in his pockets for seconds that might be lingering in the threads.
âsmile again.â
she does.
itâs almost enough.
ii.
âthe smell of rain makes me sleepy.â
his body feels heavy, sunken deep into old couch cushions that beg for a break. ahyeon is light on her feet, tiptoeing past piles of who-knows-what littering his floor. she looks like rain itself, dripping relentlessly and soaking into everything he owns.Â
âbet you wouldnât be so sleepy if you danced in it.â
her hand brushes against his cheek, and he doesnât have to wonder what that feels like anymore. her fingers are like droplets on his skin, and he feels soaked to the bone. he curls his fingers around her wrist to keep it steady and turns his head so her hand covers his face.
âthe smell of you makes me sleepy.â
she laughs but pulls back. itâs a jarring feeling, to go from drenched to dry in a moment of time. he licks his lips and feels brittle all over again. when he opens the window behind him and sticks his hand out, feels the rain hit his skin, it doesnât feel the same.Â
itâs not quite enough.Â
iii.
âthatâs enough.âÂ
ahyeonâs glass is only half full, so he pours a little more.Â
âi said thatâs enough!â she laughs through her words. he gives her a cheeky smile and pours until the beer fills the brim of the glass.Â
âgood luck drinking that.â
she takes the challenge like a champ, and he canât imagine her taking it any other way. she sucks at the rim of the glass from its place on the table and he swears it almost comes out of her nose, but she doesnât complain.Â
he fills his glass for the third time and knows heâll need three more.
the night goes on like this. he knows theyâve probably had one too many, but he drinks twice as fast as she does and still feels his fingers itch when his glass is empty.Â
âi think iâve had enough.â her cheeks are flushed, eyes hazy and lips perched into a hint of a smile that makes him wish she would just keep talking.Â
âno, keep going. i liked hearing about artificial hearts and⌠fish scale skin regenerationâŚâ he stumbles over the words and doesnât mean it as sarcastic as it comes out.Â
âno, iâve had too much.â she pushes her cup towards him and motions for him to finish it. thereâs just a gulp left, and he swallows it with a hint of regret.Â
âanother pitcher?â he reaches for the button to order more and freezes when her hand covers his.Â
âi think youâve had enough, too.âÂ












