The light of a single candle flickered softly, emitting a warm glow throughout the bathroom. The wooden wick crackled as it burned, filling the silence, but not disturbing it.

Sinking down into the water, the surface rippled as your body acclimated to the heat, muscles tensing before relaxing. You leaned your head back, neck resting against the porcelain edge of the clawfoot tub, eyes fluttering shut.

The past week flashed throughout your mind - what felt like an endless, dull routine of work. You looked forward to the relief of the end of each week, having a few days to revive yourself both physically and emotionally before starting the cycle again. There was peace within the solitude of your home, within the silence and within every detail of your quaint space that you’d designed and tweaked to your own liking. Being home gave you a sense of control, a sense of belonging.

Even if it was lonely at times.

You don’t know how much time passed as you began to doze off, suddenly blinking your lashes open at the slightest gust of cool air along your face. A chill ran through your body, hair raising and nipples hardening even beneath the warm water.

In the golden candlelight, a dark figure stood in the corner.

The figure was large, tall - almost touching the ceiling, and while you couldn’t see the face from the shadows, you could tell it was masculine. Your heart began pounding in your chest, but worst of all: you couldn’t move a muscle.

Your body felt frozen beneath the water, tears brimming your eyes as you desperately attempted to wiggle a finger or toe. Nothing budged, the surface of the bath water remaining almost perfectly still. You couldn’t speak; hell, you could barely breathe, realizing that half of your face was submerged as well.

The dark figure stepped closer, almost curious, footsteps slow, heavy. Echoes disrupting the crackling sound of the candle nearby. As the figure crept into the soft light, sharp, aquiline features traced his face, disturbingly handsome. Dark, jet-black hair that was well-styled, a single strand just barely skimming his forehead. Black slacks, black leather shoes and a white button-up shirt with the sleeves pushed up his muscular forearms.

Was this the devil?

“Not quite,” His voice, deep in his chest, broke the silence as if reading your terrified thoughts. A chuckle. “However, I’m sure he’d steal a few of my ideas.”

All you could do was stare, your tears trailing down your face before mixing with the water below. As the man stepped even closer, you felt as if your throat was being constricted, the very little oxygen you could intake through your nose getting cut off. This man hadn’t laid a finger on you, yet somehow, in whatever questionable state-of-mind you were in, you knew he was responsible.

Responsible for the tightening in your throat, and then, the swirling sensation that suddenly surrounded your clit.

You couldn’t make a sound or react in any way, your lack of oxygen only increasing the build-up of your impending climax. This felt like torture - all of your muscles wanting to tense but being unable to, lost whimpers and whines that could never climb out of your chest. This was hell, up until your release inevitably came. Then, for the briefest moment, it was heaven.

Purely horrifying, bewildering, adrenaline-inducing heaven. You were beyond starry-eyed, your vision starting the darken around the edges as you silently pleaded him with your eyes to let you take a breath of air.

The man loomed over you, rough and veiny hands gripping the edge of the tub as he crouched down to your eye level. His eyes were a golden-olive mix of hazel, drowned out by the darkness of his dilated pupils as he watched you in awe, gaze trailing along your naked figure beneath the surface of the water, as if he weren’t the one somehow doing this to you in the first place.

“Good…that’s good,” He cooed. A long finger reached out, stroking along the top of your cheekbone.

You closed your eyes, finally giving in, and then everything was black.

When you woke soon after, gasping and heaving desperately, you quickly yanked the plug of the bath. You stood on shaky legs, glancing around the dimly-lit bathroom, alone once again. You were grateful for your mobility, snatching a fluffy towel and wrapping it around your body as you stepped out of the tub.

It must’ve been a nightmare. Sleep paralysis, probably.

You would have been more convinced of that possibility if it weren’t for the slight ache in your lower region. Reaching past the towel, you hesitantly grazed your folds with your fingertips, noticing that they did feel a little swollen.

Maybe you masturbated at some point. Is that even possible, to reach an orgasm while asleep?

Your mind wandered, reeling through hypotheticals as you flicked on the bathroom light. Wiping the fog from the mirror, you immediately yelped, flinching backwards at your appearance. Eyes widening at the freshly crimson, finger-shaped marks around your neck, too big to be your own. The beginnings of what would become bruises. You stepped closer to the mirror, tracing along the markings with your fingertips, lips parting.

You began to question reality at this point, too stunned to think for a moment.

Footsteps somewhere outside the bathroom door pulled you from your state of shock.

Two months.

It had been exactly two months since you fled the First Order, leaving behind your life as Apprentice beneath Commander Ren.

You left without any trace or explanation. Ren assumed you left because you didn’t think anyone would care; that they could track down another dark side loving Force-user with ease. He worried that maybe, you thought you were disposable.

It’s not like the lingering glances or touches between you and your Master meant anything anyway — it was all just business. Neither of you had time for feelings or any of that soft shit.

He assumed you’d think he wouldn’t care if you left. That if anything, he’d probably be relieved. That he could find someone older, stronger, more serious about being in one of the most sought after positions in the galaxy.

Kylo was losing his fucking mind, actually.

The worst part was that he could feel you. Everywhere. Not just in the Force signature you’d left behind that lingered in the cold, metal hallways of the Supremacy, or in your former quarters (the same quarters he now only visits once a day, sometimes twice), but he could feel you, out there, running about.

Driving him utterly insane.

He replayed every little conversation in his head, every moment you’d spent together: training sessions, meditations, meal times, quiet moments in cockpits during missions. Trying to piece together every memory, trying to figure out exactly when and how he screwed up.

What he did — or didn’t do — to keep you.

Losing you made Kylo realize how deeply he actually felt about you. The sound of your voice that he felt soothed by, the way your black clothes hugged your body in a manner that would make his pants feel uncomfortably tight, how graceful and calculative your combat skills looked, both in training and actual fights.

He missed the warmth of your scent. The softness of your hair. Those beautiful fucking eyes. Your little quirks, your sense of humor, your confidence, your occasional stubbornness, your persistence.

Gods, he missed you. You haunted his dreams, interrupted his meditation sessions, caused a tightness in his chest that hasn’t disappeared since the day you were suddenly gone.

As if you were never here to begin with.

Kylo’s lip trembled, tears pricking at his hazel eyes as he sat in his quarters after a particularly rough day of training with the Knights. He shook his head, shoving his feelings aside, including the everlasting urge to go sit in your old quarters across the hall and try to smell the barely-there scent of your perfume. He still hasn’t let the cleaning droids come near that room.

Was he….grieving you?

Should he go looking for you? Maybe he could coax you back-

“Why is everyone being a dick to me today?”

Your voice suddenly filled his quarters, pulling him from his daze, the metal door sliding shut behind you. Kylo blinked, tense as ever, quickly rising from his seat and adjusting himself. His eyes were wide, eyebrows furrowed, lips parted.

“I get it, I took a little leave to visit my family, but I really needed it, and I’m glad I did it. Two months without my datapad was really refreshing too. It’s not my fault everyone else here is married to their job.”

Kylo cleared his throat, confused as all hell.

“Apprentice-“

“Especially Hux! He looked at me like I was a ghost. I get that we aren’t on the greatest terms, but he could’ve at least acknowledged me with a nicety.”

“APPRENTICE.”

Your lips snapped shut, eyes widening at your Master’s stern, husky voice. The extra deep version that you only heard when he was at his breaking point.

“What, Kylo?”

“Where the hell have you been?”

“…On vacation? I sent everyone notice like three weeks before I left. And the night before…?”

“Nobody knew you went on vacation.”

“But Officer Mitaka told me to have fun before I left.”

A beat of silence. A creak of leather in Kylo’s gloved hands, now squeezing into big fists. Tight, trembling fists.

“Which database did you forward the notice to?”

You raised an eyebrow. “Eleven. I usually message in eleven.”

“Highest ranking officials message in database thirteen, Apprentice.”

Your pupils dilate, lips parting. “Fuck, is that why none of you guys reacted to the pictures I sent?”

Kylo didn’t know whether he wanted to kill you, or take you right then and there. Irritation and relief pulsed through his body simultaneously as he took in slow breaths of frustration. He was fucking pissed.

And so, so fucking happy.

You were here.

You never really left.

Kylo pulled his lips into his mouth, eyes darkening before he responded. “Medbay. Now. Let’s go.”

“Why?”

He’s staring.

No, he’s just looking at the jury as a whole. There’s eleven other people sitting with you, why would he be staring at you?

No, wait. He’s definitely staring at you. That’s some deep eye contact.

God, why was the defendant staring at you? You don’t even know him, you’re just doing your legal civilian duties. You didn’t even want to be here at first, you had to miss three days of work for this, but the case was at least interesting enough to keep your attention.

Kylo Ren was charged with more things than you could name off of the top of your head.

And you were playing a role in the decision that slapped him with a guilty verdict.

This man, a total and complete stranger, was going to prison for the rest of his life. A once-very powerful CEO with supposed ties to multiple crime syndicates.

“Mr. Ren.”

The judge called his name for a third time to get his attention, his hard stare finally breaking off of you. You felt a weight on your chest lift that you hadn’t even realized was there.

You would say you were relieved when the trial finally ended and you were dismissed along with your peers, but as the days and weeks followed, you noticed that things started to feel…off.

Mysterious men you didn’t recognize, staring at you across cafes or bookstores you’d often frequent, their phones close to their ears as they spoke too softly to someone for you to hear.

Belongings in your apartment seeming misplaced or looking tampered with.

You knew you weren’t crazy when your extra set of keys went missing from your bedside drawer.

Interesting.

You changed your locks and went out less just to be on the safe side, but you still couldn’t shake the feeling of being watched.

Something inside of you knew this was just the beginning.

It’s all fun and games being Snoke’s [adopted] granddaughter and heir to the First Order, his blatant misogyny keeping you off the battlefield and in your personal quarters for a majority of your life (with the occasional perks of spending his credits on trips to allied planets).

…Until the Resistance starts catching up. Rumors are circulating around the galaxy that the numbers of force users on their side are rapidly increasing, and for the first time your grandfather seems…apprehensive. The only force users within the sixty-kilometer wide radius that is the mega-class star destroyer you call home are your grandfather, and well - you.

That is - until one random Monday morning, when your grandfather called you into his throne room and a hooded, masked stranger strode in shortly after you. A man who doubled your size, exuding a force energy strong enough to bring chills to your extremities, with a scent that filled your senses with the same feeling your favorite pillow gave you at night.

SORRY IF I WROTE THIS BADLY 😭

Kylo assumed that everything would be fine after getting engaged to your sister. Your family’s wealth would bring him great fortune.