reylos leave me alone

the nod she gives is silent yet holds more meaning behind it than those of the first order surrounding them could understand. loyalty was far from wavering anytime soon, although there is an arising curiosity to his words. snoke had been extremely powerful, more so than any could imagine, and though certainly occisor doesn’t doubt the power kylo possessed - but to be assassinated ? who was powerful enough beyond them to do so ?

its only when the first order members seem to silently file out of the room to return to their own duties and leave the knights on their own do questions arise.  ❝  - i never plan to depart from your side, but…it couldn’t have been justTHAT GIRL. from what you’ve told, she’s powerful, but someone like snoke ?   ❞    

❝    i    had    UNDERESTIMATED    her.    she    is    more    powerful    than    either    of    us    could    know.    ❞    kylo    doesn’t    imagine    rey    will    be    too    bothered    over    taking    the    fall    from    the    fight    with    the    praetorian    guards.    and    even    if    she    would    object    to    him    blaming    her,    he    does    not    care.    she    had    her    chance,    and    she    refused    to    take    it.    (    she    is    a    FOOL.    )   

    Confiding abstraction to tangible words is not an easy feat and while Armitage’s understanding does not widen or become less hazed, he can respect Ren’s earnest efforts. The endeavor of adding science into the mix does not go unnoticed by the General either, as HuxCHOOSES not to touch on every detail Ren does right, afraid such praise would only go to the other’s head. Then how would he fit in his mask?

   Hux spares a glance at Ren before directing his attention to the trees. Depending on the creature’s colony size, the creatures could be ten meters to a hundred meters away in diameter. It was a gambit bringing Ren along the scouting mission. There have been reports of force sensitive people going missing far faster than their nonsensitive counter parts; allegedly they’re a vornskr’s favorite meal and while the lost of Ren would not tear him up inside, the sharp claws of a vornskr would.

        ❝ We should divide the troopers, each take half to cover more ground before it becomes dust.❞ This was in by no means  an excuse to distance himself from the force user in case of an unforeseen attack from a wild animal.

he’d    predicted    hux    would    say    something    to    that    effect.    if    there    was    ever    a    member    of    the    order    ren    expects    to    attempt    to    assassinate    him,    it    would    be    general    hux,    and    he    knows    that    if    there’s    any    situation    that    could    possibly    get    him    maimed    or    killed,    it’ll    be    hux    who    will    gladly    place    him    in    it.    but    despite    ren’s    opinions    on    hux’s    lack    of    practical    experience    in    battle,    he    does    value    his    tactical    expertise.    after    all,    it’s    why    he’d    decided    to    bring    him    along.    hux    is    one    of    the    best    military    minds    in    the    galaxy.    

❝    perhaps.    ❞    he    nods.    he    can’t    think    of    a    better    alternative    and    he    doesn’t    particularly    want    to    start    an    argument    in    front    of    the    troopers.    that    being    said,    if    something    does    attack    them,    there’s    a    good    chance    hux    won’t    know    how    to    fight    it    with    just    that    little    blaster    .    .    .

HAN  SOLO  WASN’T  A  FAMILY  MAN  .   but   –   then  he  was  .   from  the  moment  the  little  raven  -  haired  babe  was  placed  in  his  arms  he  knew  he’d  always  do  anything  to  protect  him  .    BEN  .   sweet  little   ben  who  had  his  mother’s  eyes     &      his  father’s  nose  .   but  sweet  little  ben  was  no  more  .   KYLO  REN   had  taken   root   in   his  son       &      he   was    determined   to   bring   him   out   ,   for   he   knew   ben   was   still  in  there    –    somewhere   .    when  he  set  foot   on   the   base   ,    a   chill  ran  through   the  old  general  ,   shaking   it   off   ,   he   continues   on   in   search   of   his   son  .    |   @renkills   ♡’d 

what    must    it    be    like    to    be    the    scapegoat    for    a    lifetime    of    suffering    ?    many    people    had    a    hand    in    the    sealing    of    ben    solo’s    fate    but    han    solo    wasn’t    one    of    them    -------------    but    he    is    easy    to    blame.    (    though    how    could    solo    have    known    what    would    happen    when    everybody    refused    to    talk    to    him    ?    )    

she  resists   the   urge  to   roll  her  eyes  .    the   DRAMATICS   were   getting    old   .    BUT    she   struck   a   nerve   she   felt   it   the   second   it   washed   over   him   .   maybe   she   could   get   somewhere   .     DON’T   BE   AFRAID   .    I   FEEL   IT   TOO   .    oh   how   she   wishes   he’d   take   off   that   mask   .   both  the   physical       &       metaphorical    one   .    she   wanted   to   see   his    FACE   .   it   had   been   so   long   .    who   did   he   look   like   now   ?      she’d   like   to    think    he’ s   grown   into    a    han   remake   .   he’d   looked   so   much   like   her   for   the   first   couple  of   years   before   the   SOLO  genes   seemed    to   take   effect   .   

❛    ben    ,    please    .    ❜     she’s    PLEADING   .    ❛    i’m    your   MOTHER   .    ❜    she    whispers    ,   willing   herself   to   stay   strong   .   since   when   did   she   become   so   WEAK    ?    ❛    give   me   a   chance    –    to   talk   .    to   talk     to    my    SON   .   ❜

well,    she’s    certainly    not    going    to    get    anywhere    using    that    name.    just    HEARING    it    makes    kylo    feel    sick.    he    doesn’t    know    how    to    say    that    he    is    not    ben,    and    he    has    not    been    ben    for    a    very    long    time,    without    leia    refusing    to    take    him    seriously.    IT    DOESN’T    MATTER.    IT    DOESN’T.    it    hasn’t    mattered    for    years    and    it’s    hardly    going    to    start    now.    anyway,    why    should    HE    listen    when    he    knows    full    well    that    she    will    not    ?

he    keeps    walking.    he    cannot    speak    for    the    vocoder    will    amplify    his    words    ------------------    and    he    will    not    take    his    helmet    off.    he’s    certain    that    people    would    recognise    the    familial    connection    to    leia    even    if    she    wasn’t    standing    right    behind    him.    ❛    if    you    got    one,    i    wonder,    what    would    you    say    ?    ❜    he    tries    to    keep    the    bitterness    out    of    his    tone    ;    tries    to    remain    unaffected.    ❛    would    you    APOLOGISE    for    your    mistakes    ?    your    failings    ?    ❜

breath     hitches     in      her      throat    when   she   sees   him       &       she    brings     a     hand        to       her      chest    .        closing      her     eyes    ,      she    takes    a     moment    to   reflect   /      thinking     about     the     little     raven    haired    boy    who    used     to     nap    curled    up    on    her   bosom   .       oh   icarus    !      for     all    you     have     FALLEN     still    you    flew     !     stepping   closer   ,   she     quietly     starts     to   follow    behind     him     .

she   wonders    if    he    really    hasn’t     SENSED   her   yet   or    if    he    was    pretending   not    to    ,    waiting     to     catch     her     off      guard    .     stopping     ,     she     lets    him    go    on     ahead        &       closes     her     eyes    again    ,     reaching    out    through      the   force    .     BEN    .      |     @renkills    ♡’d

oh,    he    has    sensed    her.    (    she’s    right.    he’s    pretending    like    he    hasn’t.    it    would    be    easier    not    to    make    a    scene.    )    ren    keeps    walking,    tongue    bitten    hard    between    teeth    --------------    her    presence    has    chilled    him    to    the    BONE.    why    can’t    things    be    simple    ?    after    all    this    time,    LEIA    ORGANA    should    be    easy    to    ignore.    

when    he    hears    that    name,    FEELS    it    in    the    very    air    that    surrounds    them,    he    falters.    he    wishes    it    wasn’t    as    visible    as    it    is.    please,    it’s    been    years.

    Though his presence serves to put those of the first order in concern, occisor seems rather lax where she stands tall and proud, head giving just a slight curious tilt at his demeanor. Past the mask, she can sense a slight anxiousness in him - slight, and minuscule, but present all the same. They’re but the remnants of the first order after the recent DISASTER, and to see him like this, without mask concealing his features as her’s still does is concerning. She almost retreats to a past self, wanting to inquire as to the further unease, but decides against it. The departure of snoke - she had felt his departure in the force, and it was something that in a way, had her…RELIEVED.

    “What do we do ? “

It’s the first words she’s spoken of the day, voice muffled and hidden just as his would have done the same.

he    is    trying    so    hard    to    hide    how    frantic    he    feels.    everything    is    falling    apart    at    the    seams    and    being    hastily    stitched    together    and    he    knows    that    if    he’s    not    careful,    he    may    still    end    up    the    architect    of    his    own    doom.    there    is    so    much    to    plan.    so    little    time.    but    things    WILL    get    better.    (    SNOKE    IS    GONE.    HE    HAS    VANQUISHED    HIS    TRUE    ENEMY.    )     

the distortion in Ren’s tone is hit or miss with the General. at times, he much prefers it– he would remain perfectly content never putting a name to a face, nor a voice to a face. in the rare times he had had the opportunity to see the young man without his helmet, Hux had always been taken by his young features and wavering voice. it was a morbid fascination – certainly. how could someone so young be so burdened.

Hux could laugh at his own thoughts; the redhead was much a sufferer of the same fate. far too young to be burdened with such weight on his shoulders. a reputation to uphold. a name to keep.

the General shifts his heels a bit to fix his stance, lips parting and a sharp inhale indicating he was about to speak and grant permission to ask something of him– but the words that come from the other next has the lithe officer stiffening. there’s something entirely human in the comment. something almost innocent and tinged with an awe that Hux remembers from his youth. stars, he thinks the same things now… but he isn’t willing to announce said thoughts out loud.

he’s a philosopher, certainly, but more of the “armchair philosopher” type.

it takes a moment for Hux to realize he’s been staring– the tilted head of Ren is fascinating to him in a way, as this was a rare moment of PEACE that the General was unabashedly thrilled to be a part of right now. he hasn’t the chance to respond as Ren begins to speak once more, though he does tear his eyes off the hulking figure next to him, turning his eyes to the glimmering floor beneath his boots instead as he listens.

strange, how civil this conversation is– and yet, not unwelcome in the slightest. far be it for Hux to deny the simple fact that he was tired and he wasn’t in the mood for anything but civilities. pursing his lips in thought, he has to consciously resist the urge to jut his bottom lip out a touch in the form of a pout. strict and meticulous with his own paperwork, it was always depressing to hear of unfinished reports… but Ren had been honest with him, whether it was a conscious decision or not, and Hux very, very, very subtly admired that. “yes, i will. and you may finish them when you return. i suppose there isn’t any rush on those in particular.”

and there wasn’t; not really. it could wait a few days, as much as Hux didn’t like it– it wasn’t the most important thing on his mind. especially not right now. after a pause, making certain there wasn’t anything else that needed to be discussed, Hux shifts away to circle behind the larger man. he settles in on his other side – the view provided from this angle is better, and though he relaxes a bit once more, his hands are still clasped behind his back tightly. “i’m not often privy to ridiculous thoughts such as stars having a consciousness.”

the venom isn’t lacing his words as it often does– but he can’t let Ren know he’s actuallycomfortable for once in his presence. being comfortable with Ren was dangerous. unpredictable. Hux glances side-long at Ren as he lets the silence stretch… and a sigh puff from his cheeks soon after, voice softening. almost humored. “yet, it is a nice thought. isn’t it? to know you aren’t ever really alone.”

ren    nods,    satisfied    with    the    general’s    response.    the    knights’    orders    come    from    a    greater    power    than    he    and    as    such    kylo    doesn’t    particularly    NEED    to    allow    him    to    veto    his    intentions,    but    he    grew    up    around    politicians.    he    knows    how    to    play    these    games    ;    knows    how    to    keep    people    happy.    (    that    is,    if    hux    has    ever    been    happy.    perhaps    happy    is    an    operative    word.    )    he    knows    hux    has    been    staring.    he    doesn’t    know    why.    WHO    CARES    ;    LET    HIM.    he’s    probably    just    irritated    about    the    mention    of    unfinished    reports.    but    unfortunately,    they    are    both    busy    people.    it’s    so    hard    to    get    everything    done    on    time.

❝    you’re    correct.    i    suppose    it    is    a    ridiculous    thought.    ❞    he    falls    silent    again.    how    SILLY    of    him    to    speak    his    mind    to    someone    like    hux.    he    would    only    get    mocked    for    it.    (    but    then    .    .    .    the    following    comment    gives    him    pause.    )    he    glances    at    him.    ❝    .    .    .        yes.    but    whether    or    not    the    stars    have    a    collective    conscience    or    not    has    no    bearing    on    our    place    in    this    universe.    we    are    not    alone    :    we    know    this.    the    very    state    of    being    ‘    alone    ‘    is    improbable.    ❞

he    crosses    his    arms    against    his    chest,    looking    back    to    the    window.    if    he    wanted    to,    he    could    probably    point    out    a    few    constellations    from    where    they’re    standing    -------------    the    ones    that    have    been    mapped    out,    at    least.    the    others    are    known    to    the    order    by    a    string    of    numbers    alone,    not    by    any    classical    name.    there’s    the    brief    noise    of    feedback    from    the    vocoder    as    he    exhales,    and    for    a    moment    he    sets    aside    his    plans.    there’s    so    much    he    needs    to    organise    for    leaving,    but    it    doesn’t    matter    so    much    just    now.