🖤I’m🖤Remus🖤

It made you want to wake up with a scream, to cry for help or tear something apart- but the hibernation was too deep. Stuck in a neverending carousel of your past. You could barely tell when you woke up, animal hindbrain taking over, trying to keep you alive when you were living in constant fight or flight. There was nothing more effective at keeping a hybrid unthinking than stress.

Days more passed, with the team unknowing of the torture your mind was going through. Afterall, it was very uncommon for any hybrid that hibernated to dream during it. Unfortunate that you were a fringe case.

At the end of almost two weeks, you clawed and fought your way out of the deep murk to the surface.

You finally fully woke up with a gasp that was almost a scream. Disorented. Where were you- you didn't know this place- why- how did you get here- Price will be so mad- you were supposed to stay awake-

Gaz startled as you shot up. His feathers ruffling as he twisted onto his knees in a split second. A croon bubbling in his throat. He knew you weren't a child- a cub- but you looked so much like one. Fluffly little ears, underdeveloped as price said, your eyes wide and helpless, curled up into a non existent larger figure to protect you. To shield you from all the things that should have never happened in the first place.

Gaz crooned again, but didn't move any closer.

Gasps clawed their way up your throat, choking and desperate and burning. You didn't know what was happening, or why- you knew you had been dreaming, that it had been bad, but not exactly what. You didn't even notice Gaz with his worried expression looking at you. A noise followed the gasps, a mix between a roar and a whimper. A desperate cry for help, one you hadn't made since you were a cub. That you were never allowed to make even when you were a cub. All you knew was that your instincts were screaming at you that someone would come- to help- to make it all better-

And the door slammed open, revealing Price. His chest heaving, hair still dripping wet from the showers. Soap and ghost followed closely behind.

"Kid- what the bloody hell happened?"

"No idea sir- just woke up and started panicking-"

"This was nae in the plan-"

"Pipe down Johnny, you'll only scare er-"

The cacophony of voices surrounded you, making your calls louder, more desperate. Curling into a little ball, clawed hands pawing at your head and ears, trying to block out the sound.

Price finally quieted the racket with a sharp "enough!", and walked over to you. Carefully. Slowly. He lowered himself into the den, and curled behind you, tucking your head into his neck. Rumbling lowly.

Gaz sucked in a breath. The move was risky- planned for if you did wake up in a state like this. But it paid off.

All you knew was that things went from loud and so so scary to quiet and warm and musky in an instant. Snuffling at Price's warm neck, seeking out the faint scent there. You knew that scent- it had kept you safe, you were certain of that. Big eyes blinking slowly, pupils expanded widly, making them almost entirely black. Slowly, you relaxed, chuffing softly into Price's big, warm body.

"Thas it cub- calm down- I know you can't talk righ' now, don't expect you to. Just breath, nice an' easy, olrigh'"

Slowly, your heart rate calmed down fully. Shaking your head, clearing some of the fog away. Bits and peices of what happened flowint back to you. Price bringing you here, how safe it felt, how warm. And the feeling of home with your team curled around you.

You tried to say something, to apolagize, or explain, anything, but your voice got caught in your throat. The only thing coming out being a low grunt.

Price expected it. They all had, doing research for days on what condition to expect you to be in, what challenges, how to help. Behind you, Simon had slid into the nest to soothe Gaz, still ruffled and panicked by how you had woken up. Soothing down his feathers and doing his best wolfish imitation of a coo into his ear. Your own heightened hearing picked up on it, and instead of other hybrids being near making you feel frightened, it soothed you. This was okay. Needing help was okay. Afterall- Gaz was getting comfort, and he had been on the team for years- so maybe, just maybe it would be the same for you.

You were grumbly and clearly agitated as the exfil picked up the team, plopping down on one of the seats with a huff. Instincts screaming at you to eat a full meal, find all of the soft items you could and burrow in your den to sleep for at least a few weeks. But you couldn't. After the heli made it back to base, it would be hours of meetings and debriefs and then more training. Besides, you didn't have a den in your new base anyway. You were put in a standard, barren room, and you didn't feel like it was your place to complain, much less ask for anything. The taskforce had already been treating you so much better than your last team, not getting mad when you vocalized or rubbed against things hard. But you weren't about to test their patience and surely short-lasting good will.

Meanwhile, Price was eyeing you warily, as was the rest of the team. The distress of long supressed instincts was rolling off of you in waves, your body tense in a way you couldn't hide. He was informed by Laswell of how poorly your last team had treated you, like you were just an dangerous animal. Locked up and shocked whenever you stepped out of line. He thought it was best to treat you in the exact opposite way when you got to the base, but he was realizing now how much of a mistake that was. He watched you scratch at your legs, curled up on the seat in a poor attempt to get cozy, growling every time you caught yourself slipping away to sleep. Johnny and Simon, curled up with eachother were watching you as well, Johnny whining almost inaudible at the far larger wolf. Gaz shot John a look.

You were lost in your head. Spiralling as you shoved down your instincts.

Stupid mutt- stupid bear- only a fucking cub would want that comfort- doesn't deserve it- doesn't deserve a den- needs to shut up and just act like a soldier- shut up shut up shut up-

You were abruptly snapped out of it when the heli landed and John scooped you out of your seat as if you were a poppit. Vocalizing lowly at you as he walked quickly off and into the base. You were out of it. Barely holding onto the frayed edges of your forced lucidity. You recognized that the others were following you and Price down a hallway you hadn't been down before. Their scents were thick here, and the air turned warmer. Before you knew it, you were carefully deposited in a large, circular pit in the ground that was lined with bedding and furs, all that smelled deliciously of your new team.

Just as you started to panic at the situation- being caught slipping into your insticts, your mind screaming at you that this wasn't allowed, Johnny and Simon pressed in. Johnny snuffled into your neck while Simon pressed into your side. Gaz was gone from your sight.

"Is alright Bonnie- you're safe here. Ye doing perfect" Johnny cooed, soothing you.

"No one is going to hurt you Sergeant. Thas a promise" You felt the vibration or Ghost's voice at your side.

Sleep, the deep kind you knew was your hibernation was quickly setting in. But it felt wrong- you were too exposed, and hungry- so hungry-

You vocalized helplessly, small growls escaping you as you squirmed, your little teddy bear ears twitching, about to go find food youself just as Gaz walked in with a tray, John at his side. You chuffed, confused as he layed it in your lap. A tray full of fish, berries, honey and red meat, a type of meal that you had been denied for years with your previous team. Any anxiety was disregarded as you dug in, tearing at the food, tounge scooping up any juices or honey that escaped. It was euphoric, the flavors exploding on your tounge as you indulged more, lucidity slipping without your knowledge. It felt so good, so safe- so right to give in. You hadn't felt like this in years

Meanwhile, John was worried. Were you really that mistreated at your old team? You were exhibiting symptoms of hybrids who were trained out of their natural behaviors and denied instincts for years- and he had....

Well shit. He hadn't been treating you well enough at all. Dammit-

His head snapped back to you when you chuffed, content, the tray empty and your eyes glazed over. The look of a hybrid that had fully given into their instincts. Bloody hell- the ramifications of that after so long of denying it would be a nightmare, but there were more important things to focus on.

You were quickly falling asleep, breaths deep and small little chuffs still escaping you, curled up and clearly blissed out. You were so happy, so warm and safe.

John decided that the consequences, and the retribution that he would wreak on your previous team could wait. He slipped into the den with gaz, tucking the avian hybrid into his arms and sighing with relief when Ghost tugged the pair of them closer. Simon nuzzled into gaz's hair, the tension in his shoulders melting away. Price leaned and stroked through Soap's now messy mowhawk, indulding in how the wolf hybrid leaned into the touch before settling back down into the blankets.

Warm, safe, all of your team snuggled into the den. And for once, you felt completely and entirely content.

You had your eyes closed, an old stuffed animal held tight in your arms, more desperate moos falling constantly from your mouth. Your brow was furrowed. Your blankets were thrown off, and your hips were bucking into the bunch up comforter. The front of your sweats completely soaked with pre, the sticky liquid starting to drool onto the bedding. You were in rut then. Explained your mood- but why hadn't you dealt with it? Being right next to the other three taskforce members couldn't have helped. The constant wave of pheremones coming through the vents must have been torture. Johnny, the wolf hybrid couldn't help himself most nights, and Ghost, bunny hybrid that he was was insatiable. John knew first hand how bad they both got, and Gaz either encouraged it or joined in. They hadn't included you- you had just never shown interest, and had been adorably oblivious to the four of thems dynamic. And now- you were in the depth of a rut you had apparently been ignoring, or unaware of.

You took in a few deep whiffs when his scent hit you, and you opened your eyes with a groan. Eyes hazed over with rut.

"Cap- don't- don't feel good...everythin' aches-" you choked out, rolling onto your back. Price's eyes widened with the heavy weight he saw in your sweats, not too long, but girthy, and standing at painful looking attention.

"Sergeant," his voice was husky, growing gruff, "do ya not know what's goin' on wiff you?"

You shook your head, but your hips had started rolling again, and you hugged the old stuffed animal tighter, taking in deep huffs of its scent.

"Jus' hang tight lad, gonna get supplies and send your teammates over, sound good?" His mind was going a hundred miles an hour, you needed your herd, needed to take out your rut on something-

Your delerious little nod consoled him a little, your horns scraping along your wall. The door shut behind him with a click.

As soon as it did, you let out a long bellow, so delerious and achy- everything felt weird, the desire so thick it just made you panicked, and something smelled so, so good- your herd-

You were snapped out of your haze when the door opened again, revealing the rest of your teammates. Soap looked disheveled at best, his tail tucked. His clothing was dishelved, and he had dozens of love bites on his throat. Ghost was in a better state, but Gaz was panting. His wings ruffled, and something tenting his pants- all three of them were barely dressed. Gaz came forward first, crooning at your state.

"Oh- you are in a state, aren't you" he curled up behind you, lifting your head so it could lie on his lap, his wings curling a bit to envelop you. You tucked your head into his lap, taking in deep huffs with a groan, your hips jerking harshly. Gaz choked on a breath, and Soap groaned

"Bleedin jesus Lad- are ye trying ta kill me- ye sound like heaven-" Ghost restrained him from climbing onto your lap, dragging him to sit by the bed instead. You kept huffing Gaz's scent. It itched that burn inside you a little- but made the neediness worse- you needed more, to be inside his skin, to bury yourself in his abdominal cavity-

The door squeaked when it opened again, revealing Price with a small sling bag. It shut behind him with a click of finality. He chuffed approvingly when he saw you in your bed, curled up with your herd. Bear hybrids like him were usually solitary, but he was an exception. He loved his taskforce, even his hotheaded new addition. He shook his head, and stepped forward.

"Lad? Can you hear me? Need you to take a few deep breaths, need to tell ya some things-" he said as he kneeled at the end of your bed, stroking your leg.

You finally lifted your head, and did as he asked. Finally nodding when your head was a bit clear.

Price chuffed approvingly, "Good lad. You're in rut kid. You been through it before?"

He met with you shaking your head. "Was always a late bloomer sir-"

Price drew out a cylindical object from the bag, setting it beside your leg. "You're gonna be alright kid, I promise you that. Ghost- go ahead and get Johnny ready, alright?" Ghost nodded, grabbing a bottle from the bag and dragging Soap to a nest of blankets you had in a corner for a reading nook. Soap went eagerly, stripping off his boxers, his tail wagging wildly. You wanted to watch, but Gaz was cooing at you as he drew your head back to watch John.

"Gonna take these off, "kay Lad?" He tugged a bit at your sweats. You nodded shakily, holding your stuffed animal tighter. A tether to something safer. "Good lad. Good boy- doing so well for me-" He rasped as he drew them down, Gaz stroking your arms when your hips bucked yet again when the cold air of the room met your sensitive skin. You could hear Johnny starting to moan in the background, muffled by Ghosts hand. Your attention snapped back to Price when he started stroking his hands further up your legs, grabbing the object by your leg that you now recognized. A fleshlight- you let out a panicked little moo, thrashing your head a little, which nearly gored Gaz's wing-

Gaz squawked, but caught the bag when Price tossed it to him. He found two large, soft caps in them, almost like a pipe ending but longer and squishier. His eyes lit up at the plan, and he slid them onto your horns, thereby making them harmless. You mooed louder.

"Hey! I know I'm-" your words were cut off with a long groan when Price grabbed your hip with one hand, pinning it to the bed. "But that's just mean-"

"Can't have you goring my wings with all your thrashing Kid, you're lucky Price didn't see fit to tie you down" Gaz chirped, settling in to watch the show. His hard on was steadily coming back, but it was shoved to the back of his mind. Ghost was muttering filth lowly into Soap's ear, who was being gagged on his glove while Ghost worked him open. But you didn't even notice, not with Gaz surrounding you, and Price looking at you like he wanted to eat you- maybe not so metaphorically-

He chuckled then, and repositioned so he was sitting more firmly on your legs, his own hairy thighs bracketing yours. His hand was firmly pressing down on your hip, while the other positioned the toy over your throbbing tip. A growing puddle of pre was pooling in the coarse fur-like hair around the base.

"Ready Lad? Gonna milk you nice and dry- finally get that damn attitude out-"

You nodded, squirming until Gaz started stroking your hair, making sure to rub your suprisingly fuzzy ears. Price eased the toy onto you, the loud shlick of the slide down almost pornographic. Your ears picked up on Soaps moan, reacting to the sound, only to be cut off with a harsh "shut up, can't have you distracting 'em-" from Ghost.

The pleasure was mind numbing, relief of that damn itch after what felt like an eternity, your back arching as your hips tried to thrust wildly into that tight wet heat- only to be shoved down by Price. He growled his approval, and moved to pull the toy off. But even that friction was too much, and you came with a suprised, drawn out bellow, absolutely flooding the toy with thick white cum. Price let you get in a few good breaths before he started moving the toy again.

"Wait wait wait! Is too much- so fucking much- you gotta- Please-" you choked out, still thrashing with the aftershocks of the most intense orgasm of your life. You knew you always came a lot- but the amount of cum that was being thrust out of the squishy fleshlight was absurd. It pooled thickly on your abdomen, and you whimpered when Gaz scooped some of it up and sucked it off his fingers.

Price just kept moving the toy with a small chuff "Need you ready for Soap, don't we? Can't have you whining and bucking like this when he's on top of you- you'll make 'im feral"

You groaned loudly at the mere thought of being able to breed Soap- looking over to where he was being stretched out so nicely- only to once again be dragged back to the moment when Price sped up.

"No- no no no- too much- m'gonna, gonna" panicked little moos escaped between each word, that knot in your stomach becoming tighter and tighter. You scrunched your eyes shut as it broke once more, even harsher than before. Your vision going white as you spasmed, another thick load being milked from you. You don't even know how long it lasted until Price pulled the toy off of you, the slick sound lewd as he scooped some of your seed up and into the fleshlight before handing it to Gaz. A harsh sob tore from your throat, and you bashed your head around.

"HEY! Easy lad- easy- easy- all done for now, yeah? Deep breaths, thas it- drink some water for me- Good ol' boy, thats it-" Price stroked your sides as he bottle fed you some salty water, helping you come down. In the mean time, Gaz slid out from behind you and padded over to the other pair, kneeling in front of Soap, who was as eager as ever. Gaz tapped the wolf hybrids jaw, signaling him to open it. Soap did, his tounge lolling out. He moaned when Gaz poured your cum down his throat from the fleshlight. Swallowing some of it before sitting up to spit the rest into Ghosts mouth.

"Filthy mutt- now go over and help yer teammate." Ghost said, licking the salty spend off his lips,his voice low and ruff. He gave an approving look over to where you were curled up under Price, still sniffling. "Not goin' to join you this time Punk, would be too much. But you're doin' great. Just say when you need to stop, and I'll make damn sure nothing else will happen tonight." You nodded at the assurance, feeling much more stable. Much, much more needy now. And with that, Ghost allowed Gaz to tug him closer so they could have their own fun. Soap was sent off with a ruffle of his mowhawk, and was now walking over to you, his tail wagging. You groaned when he straddled you, your hands coming to grip his hips. John had shifted out of the bed, now sitting on a chair you had by your windowsill, lazily palming the buldge in his pants.

"Go on pup," He chuffed, "just be gentle with him, he's a sensitive one."

"Aye sir, wouldn't wanna hurt a wee bonnie lad like ye, now would I?" He snuffled at your neck, positioning himself over you. You just mooed softly, kneading at his hips, your eyes big and watery. You bellowed when he sunk down in one, long thrust. It felt- so, so good. So tight and warm, and you were pretty sure you were shuddering but couldn't be sure. All you could feel was Jonny, your herd-

Johnny was having the time of his life. Being filled so deliciously. Maybe you weren't a bull, more like a cow with how much spend he was milking out of you. You were thrusting up into him, doing your best to knock him off- another point in the bull category- and he was pretty sure you had been cumming for the past minute. The sounds filled the room, and your sheets were absolutely ruined. He wiggled until he got more leverage, tail wagging wildly, and really started bouncing on you. Price was looking alternativly at you, thrashing on the bed a Soap tried to kill you via sex, and where Ghost and Gaz were lazily grinding against eachother at the sight, slowly picking up speed.

You continued to be the noisest person in the room, mooing and bellowing mixed in with sobs of pleasure and groans. You didn't even know what orgasm you were on- but you did know Soap was finally getting close. His face was scrunching up beautifully, and you rubbed your remaining two braincells together enough to start clumsily stroking his dick. The way he snarled and started slamming down on you harder killed those two poor braincells though, and you came one final time, your voice trashed. Your mind went totally blank as the pleasure flooded your brain, every single one of your nerves shooting off like fireworks as you spasmed. Soap trailed over the edge with you, laughing as your arms wrapped around him like you had done with your poor stuffy that had long since fallen to the floor. Gaz and Ghost had been done for a while, cuddling in the corner, same with Price.

You shuddered through the aftershocks, mind turned completely to mush. You were barely able to let go of Soap when he was tugged off of you, your spend leaking slowly out of him. You squirmed uncomfortably in the cooling, tacky mess that was the bedding. The stupid caps were still on your horns, and you started crying with overstimulation. You were quickly scooped up by Price, and Gaz took the caps off. He kissed the back of your neck, then your cheeks, cooing at how good of a job you did. Ghost ran his hand through your hair, and Soap licked into your mouth a final time with promises of a repeat performance and assurance that you hadn't hurt him. You rested your head on Price's shoulder and weakly waved goodbye as they slipped out of the room, quickly dropping into sleep.

You came to in Price's bed, deliciously clean and much, much calmer. Price was already there, slipping into bed.

"You did so well Lad. So brave. First rut can be scary as hell, and you took it like a champ. Now get some rest, we'll talk more in the morning."

And with that, you slipped into one of the deepest sleeps of your life, but not before you heard Price grumble as he turned off the lamp-

"Hopefully we milked the damn attitude out of you"

Cater Diamond

Cater had come looking for you after class, phone in hand as usual, ready to drag you into some new magicam trend. He didn’t think twice before opening the door to the empty classroom you were using to change, no knock, because why would he?

You both froze.

You were halfway through pulling on your shirt, top surgery scars clearly visible across your chest. Panic hit you immediately. “ WAIT! Cater! Let me explain it! I-I can explain!” you started, voice shaky.

Cater raised an eyebrow, head tilting slightly. He wasn’t stupid. He knew exactly what those scars were. But he also saw how freaked out you looked, so he just gave you his usual bright, easy smile and raised both hands.

“No need to explain anything.” He keeping his tone light and casual. “Your secret’s safe with me. I’d never out you or spill something personal like that. Or do something that makes you uncomfortable.”

You asked him quietly not to tell the others.

Cater shook his head, looking almost offended at the idea. “As if! Your business is your business. I respect that.” Before he slipped back out the door, he paused and grinned. “Oh, and next time? Just change with us in the boys room. You’re one of the guys too, right? Nothing weird about it at all.”

He left but the gentle understanding in his eyes stayed with you.

Epel Felmier

You and Epel were in the changing room after gym class. You tugged your shirt off without thinking much of it, until you caught Epel’s wide eyed stare.

“Whoa… those scars look sick as hell!” he blurted out, eyes sparkling with pure admiration. “Where’d you get them? Was it some crazy fight? Did you take on a whole gang? Or maybe you wrestled with a wild animal?!”

You snorted, amused by the wild scenarios he was inventing. “Not exactly.” you said, pulling your gym shirt off. “They’re top surgery scars.”

Epel blinked once… twice… then the light finally sparkled. He rubbed the back of his neck, a little sheepish.

“Oh... Got it!” He shrugged, completely unbothered. “Still looks cool as hell. Makes you look tough. Like you’ve been through something and came out stronger.” He punched your shoulder lightly. “You’re manly as fuck, dude!”

The casual acceptance from someone who cared so much about masculinity made your chest feel lighter.

Deuce Spade

It was stupidly hot outside. Ace and Deuce had dragged you into helping paint the rose again. Sweat was pouring down your back, and the heavy uniform made it unbearable.

“Fuck it!” you muttered, tugging your shirt off and tossing it aside so you could keep working in just your pants.

Deuce’s eyes immediately locked onto your chest, specifically the top surgery scars. He stared, clearly surprised.

Your eyebrow went up. “Hey. Eyes up here dude.”

He startled so hard he nearly dropped his paintbrush. “S-Sorry! I didn’t mean to stare! I just… where did you get those scars? Are you okay?!”

You couldn’t resist. With a straight face you launched into the most ridiculous story you could think of. “Oh, some guy tried to steal my organs in a back alley. Luckily the police showed up right before he could finish the job.”

Deuce’s eyes went huge. He looked genuinely horrified and impressed at the same time. “That’s awful! Are you serious?!”

Ace, who had been listening nearby, smacked Deuce on the back of the head. “You idiot, don’t believe a word he says. He’s just trans. Those are top surgery scars. He’s fucking with you.”

Deuce’s face went bright red. He looked between you and Ace, mortified. “You…that wasn’t funny!” he grumbled, turning back to the roses with embarrassed energy. Ace just laughed.

Floyd Leech

The public pool was packed, but the water felt amazing in this summer heat. Floyd was happily swimming around like a chaotic eel while you floated peacefully in your trunks and a swim shirt.

Floyd eventually swam over, grinning sharply, and immediately tugged at the hem of your shirt. “Shrimpy~ Why are you wearing this in the pool? It’s weird. Take it off, it looks uncomfortable.”

You tried to brush it off smacking his hand. “Lots of people wear swim shirts. It’s fine.”

He rolled his eyes dramatically. “That’s dumb. It’s probably all heavy and sticky. Why do you wanna wear it so bad?”

You hesitated, then said quietly, “My top surgery scars are pretty noticeable. I don’t want people giving me weird looks.”

Floyd stared at you for a second, then snorted. “You shouldn’t give a flying fuck about what random people think. Look around! There’s a guy over there in neon green speedos that are traumatizing everyone. Your scars aren’t even close to the weirdest thing here.” His grin turned dangerous. “And if anyone says something nasty? I’ll just squeeze them. Or drown them. Whichever’s more fun.”

His casual protectiveness made you laugh. “God… okay okay. Just don’t get us kicked out.” After a moment, you pulled the swim shirt off.

The second the scars were visible in the sunlight, Floyd didn’t even blink. He just grinned wider. “See? You look better without it anyway~” He splashed you playfully. “Now c’mon, enough talk, let’s swim.”

For the rest of the day you floated and swam without worrying about your chest. Floyd’s complete indifference mixed with his willingness to drown haters made you feel surprisingly free.

..............................................................................................................................

Jasper walked into the local dollar store, your small town only had one within walking distance. He walked down the fridge aisle, going to get an energy drink for you two to share. Some guy and him were looking at the same ones, and the guy struck up a conversation.

"Hey, you look amazing!" Obviously, Jasper remained friendly. "Thanks, you too."

"It'd be sick to be friends, especially if you did just move here or somethin'!" Japser nodded, smiling. "Yeah, thanks dude. So what's your name?"

"Oh! My name is 'A'"

"Ohhh. Yeah no, nevermind." He took it back, irrigation clear in his voice. "What why??" 'A' questioned, clearly confused. Jasper only smiled. "Because your biggest mistake has been the best thing for me." His phone buzzed and he checked it, smiling when he saw the screen. He looked back up to 'A', who was still clearly confused.

"What? What were you checking?"

"My boy used my card to buy his snacks. Who knew he just needed to get rewarded to do exactly what you wanted him to do?" Jasper taunted, before explaining only a bit further. "Clearly you didn't." Then, he made a small whistle and you came up running, bag of things in hand. You hadn't looked at your surroundings, trusting him so fully to keep you safe.

"Hey pretty. Ive met an old friend of yours." Jasper chuckled, manhandling you to be infront of him with your face in his chest. His arms wrapped around you, one around your waist and the other landing on your ass. "Now, 'A', it's so funny how you abandoned him because now he's mine. He never would have left if you hadn't done it, but now he has an upgrade." He mocked, you stayed out of it, he told you to and you were his good boy. Ontop of that, he always kept you safe and happy so why wouldn't you trust him.

"F-fuck. No- no. He- No." 'A' stuttered out, shellshocked, regret all across his face. "H-hun, look I know i messed up! I haven't seen you for a year and god I missed you, 'L' wasn't worth it and I should've been stronger Im–"

'A' started to tear up, you all knew he deserved this, but it clearly still hurt him.

"Ah ah ah, he's mine now. You think he's going to go back to you when he has me? You are a worse version of me. You wanted to be so jacked it looked wrong to him instead of taking his preferences into account. Shamed him for having an opinion and for not liking giant changes to your appearance. He never would have stopped you," Jasper snapped, clearly pissed recounting everything wrong 'A' had ever done. "Instead I listened to his opinion, reassured him fully, and I look the best I ever have in my fuckin' life. You couldn't make him cum, and I don't stop till he cums multiple times. I'm more possessive, protective, and obsessive than you are. I don't leave him alone when he's upset, unlike you. I reassure him through it, I literally hold his and and that's enough, more than you did."

"Oh, and lets not forget how you isolated him from his friends only to drop him when he was getting close to yours. My friends are all friends with him and I don't abandon him for them. All those habits you hated? That were 'undesirable'? Well I either loved them or Pavlov'd him with his permission to change them. Sucker anytime he did good, that's all it took. I spoil him because he does so damn much for me and he still feels undeserving because of you. Because you wanted more when he did anything you asked." Jasper snarled. You looked up at him and pecked his jaw, squeezing his arm a bit.

"But none of that matters now does it? Because I moved in six months after we started dating." Jasper's rocky attitude was back. "Which by the way, was only a few months after you. I have his claim inked into my skin. He has mine inked onto him. We're leaving the country next year, once we finish with the year of college too. You're too late." He smirked. You finally turned around and looked at 'A'.

Sam found you bleeding in the woods.

You were curled up against a fallen log, soft brown deer ears pinned flat against your skull, a fluffy tail tucked tightly between your legs. Your left leg trapped in a trap. You were barely conscious, whimpering softly, antlers just beginning to bud — small, velvety nubs pushing through your soft brown hair.

When Sam knelt beside you, you startled hard, trying to scramble away. He spoke gently, hands open and empty.

“Hey…easy. I’m not going to hurt you. My name’s Sam. I can help.”

Your wide, dark eyes met his. You were skittish, hesitant and clearly in pain, but something in his voice made you still. You let him manage to get the trap off, not without you screaming in pain, and let him carry you back to the Impala like you weighed nothing. You didn’t speak the whole way — just trembled and hid your face against his chest.

Dean raised an eyebrow when Sam brought you into the bunker.

“Little Bambi?” He said, half-teasing, half-concerned. “You sure this is a good idea?”

Sam shot him a look. “He’s hurt, Dean. And alone.”

You spent the first week in Sam’s room, quiet and shy. You barely spoke, but your big eyes followed Sam everywhere. He was the one who fed you, who changed your bandages, who sat with you when the pain made you restless. He started ruffling your soft brown hair whenever he passed, a gentle, affectionate gesture that made your ears twitch happily and your tail give a tiny wag.

“You’re safe here.” He’d murmur. “I’ve got you.”

You believed him.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟 ❤︎ ﾟ｡ ❀ ｡ﾟ ❤︎𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟

The antlers became a problem.

Your first set — small, provisional nubs — started loosening. The new, real antlers pushing through made your skull ache constantly. You became fussy, whiny, and short-tempered. Especially with Dean.

One morning Dean walked into the kitchen while you were trying to eat cereal. Your head hurt. Your first real set of antlers itched horribly. When Dean reached over to ruffle your hair like usual, you snapped — a low grunt and a quick nip at his hand.

Dean jerked back, more surprised than hurt. “Whoa, Bambi’s got teeth today.”

You bowed your head immediately, ears flattening, tail tucked. “Sorry— It itches.”

Sam appeared in the doorway, frowning. “Dean, ease up. His antlers are coming in. It’s itchy for him.”

Dean smirked but backed off. “Alright, alright. Poor little fawn.”

You spent the rest of the day curled up in Sam’s room, whining softly every time you moved your head against furniture. Sam sat with you, big hand gently stroking your back.

“I know it hurts.” He said softly. “We’ll figure out how to help.”

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟 ❤︎ ﾟ｡ ❀ ｡ﾟ ❤︎𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟

The breakthrough came a few days later.

You were particularly miserable — new antler points breaking through, old ones loosening and falling. You kept rubbing your head against the couch, whimpering. Sam watched you for a long moment, then patted his lap.

“Come here, sweetheart.”

You crawled over shyly and settled between his legs, Sam’s fingers found the base of your antlers and started rubbing slow, firm circles.

The relief was immediate.

You let out a broken, happy sound — half-whine, half-moan — and pressed harder into his hand. The itch eased. The ache dulled. It felt so good.

Sam smiled softly. “There we go. That makes it better, baby?”

You nodded eagerly, eyes half-closed, making small, needy noises as he continued rubbing. Your hips twitched without thinking, pressing against his thigh.

Sam noticed. His hand paused for a second, then resumed with the same gentle pressure.

“You’re getting worked up, aren’t you?” He murmured, voice low and patronizing in the gentlest way. “My cute little fawn. Does it feel that good when I rub your antlers?”

You whimpered, face burning, embarrassed, but your hips kept moving — shy, awkward little rolls against his thigh. You were already getting wet, slick soaking through your jeans. Sam’s thigh was firm and warm, and the combination of his fingers on your sensitive antlers and the friction made your head spin.

“Cute little thing, ain't ya'?” Sam cooed, rubbing a little firmer. “Look at you humping my leg like a needy little deer. It’s okay. You can use me if it helps the ache.”

You hid your burning face against his stomach, ears flat with embarrassment, but your hips didn’t stop. Small, desperate sounds escaped you as you ground against his thigh, tail wagging.

Dean walked in at that exact moment.

“Well, shit.” He said, leaning against the doorframe with a grin. “Bambi’s in heat already?”

Sam almost jumped, he shot him a look, but didn’t stop rubbing your antlers. “Dean. Not now, get— get the fuck out, man.”

Dean chuckled, and lifted his hands on mock surrender. “Fine, fine, I’ll leave you two lovebirds alone.”

He left, still chuckling.

Sam rolled his eyes.

You whined, mortified at the past interruption, but couldn’t stop moving. The pleasure was building too fast. Sam’s gentle voice and the firm pressure on your antlers were too much.

“That’s it, baby deer.” Sam murmured, voice soft and condescending. “Hump my thigh. Make yourself feel better. Such a good, needy fawn for me.”

You came with a broken, embarrassed cry, shuddering against Sam’s leg, slick soaking through your clothes and his jeans. Sam held you through it, still rubbing your antlers gently, whispering praise.

“Good boy. So pretty when you let go.”

You hid your face in his neck, tail still wagging weakly, ears twitching with leftover pleasure and shyness.

Sam kissed the top of your head, stroking your soft brown hair. “You okay, sweetheart?”

You nodded shyly, pressing closer. “Felt— good. Thank you.”

Shane rolled his eyes and Ilya grinned “so, how do we adopt?” The Russian asked and Shane fidgeted, he didn't deny he looked at adoption websites before “well there's a few ways...”

Ilya was thankful he was a celebrity.

It only took a week and a background check later for them to be matched with a social worker and before they knew it, they were surrounded by a bunch of little ones. The tel went around and meeting with the kids, learning their interests until they spotted a tiny little boy playing with a truck “that is (name), he hasn't spoken yet but he's a very sweet boy” the worker said softly and the two men wandered to him, Ilya smiling at the boy.

“Cool truck” they crouched to his level and (name) tilted his head and looked at them with slight confusion “I'm Shane, this is Ilya” Shane introduced them and (name) seemed to click at this and stood up wobbly, the two reading a little sticker on the boys shirt that said “hi I'm (name), I'm 1.5 years old” and he waddled to Shane and placed a hand on his knee for balance before his little hand grabbed at his face, specifically his nose. “I need that, ya know” Shane said in a purposefully nasally voice and the small giggles that escaped his mouth, genuine and innocent.

The two played with the little one, (name) eventually sitting in Ilya’s lap without a care in the world, the Russian reading him a story while Shane rested his head on the man's shoulder.

And that's when the process started.

They visited (name) whenever they could, it was the off season so they had more than enough time between the little things they did, one always available to see the boy who grew familiar with them fast, even letting them lift him after a while. All while they did this, the adoption process was going through and they were decorating a spare room for the little one, bright and warm for the babe who deserved the world.

And when the adoption was confirmed could you blame them for celebrating with loved ones? Hayden and Rose working to put together a baby shower for them, gifts for both parents and the little one.

“Oh my god” Shane chuckled as he held a tiny little Hollander-Rozanov Ottawa Centaurs jersey “for his first game! Gotta be ready for the part” Scott chuckled and Ilya grinned “a gift from a grandpa, thank you”

“Oh fuck off” Scott said without any bite and everyone enjoyed each other's company and the gifts, Svetlana wasn't able to come due to work but sent them various gifts, outfits for the little one and various snacks and treats for them.

And finally, the day came.

(Name) Stood in their home, a little backpack on his back and wearing fancier clothes, a little suit without the blazer and tie, his bluey shoes on full display, the social worker trying to keep it together as the family came together.

“Thank you, for helping us get him” Shane said genuinely as Ilya played with him in the background, gently swinging the boy around and the giggles were infectious “of course, I knew you were good people who could give him a good life” she handed him his medical information and his personal effects “this was his mother's before he was brought here, it's all he has of his family” they knew the boys story, family died in an accident on the way to get him from daycare when he was only a few months old, no other family.

Earrings, gold roses with rubies encrusted.

They were beautiful.

“I'll make sure these are safe...”

When it was just the family, the two men showed (name) everywhere, the house baby proofed and stairs had baby gates as well as the kitchen.

“/He's so curious../” Ilya remarked with soft eyes and (name) looked at him curiously, not understanding the sounds he made and Ilya grinned “you like Russian, little one?”

“He's going to be learning a lot of languages with how we speak” Shane chuckled and (name) waddled to them without a care in his world and lifted his arms to be held, already quite clingy to them and Ilya was more than happy to carry the boy around and (name) snuggled into him, Following Shane as he made lunch for them.

(Name) Fiddled with Ilyas necklace, the man noting he wasn't pulling or being rough but just curious about the shiny thing in his tiny hand “this was your Grandmothers, she would have loved you” Ilya whispered to him and (name) looked at him with big curious eyes before looking at Shane from the other side of the island. (Name) Was captivated at the meal the man prepared, both men deciding to not elevate other foods compared to others and so when offered sliced strawberries and bananas, he immediately reached for it with his little hands.

“Messy boy!” Ilya chuckled and (name) shoved a piece in his mouth and bounced a bit at the yummy foods “well he likes fruit, that's for sure” Shane chuckled and had their lunches on the table, similar to (name)s but with high protein sandwiches along with it.

Ilya eventually put (name) in his highchair so they too could eat, the boy looking at them as they spoke and seemed pleased when they included him in the conversation “my parents are excited to meet him, my mom said she went a little crazy with gifts for him” no one was allowed to see them for the first week, the two wanting to get to bond with their baby and (name) needed to acclimate.

The house became a lot more family friendly fast, Ilya fencing the backyard and installing a playset for the boy and the wooden corners and anything that could hurt him.

Come night time, the two gave (name) a bath and (name)... He wasn't having it.

Well getting out, he was having a blast in the bath with his bath toys and bubbles but when it came time to dry off, the two dad's got to deal with their first meltdown.

“NOOO!” (Name) Wailed while he was dried off and put in pajamas, absolutely sobbing while Ilya rocked him gently. This wasn't his first rodeo with sobbing children, the two watching haydens kids occasionally and not to mention Ilya’s niece he adored. “/Shh, it's alright/” the man's deep voice and the Russian rang in the air and Shane gently fixed the boys hair and hummed the lullaby his mom would sing.

(Name) Eventually calmed down and the men brought him to bed, the crib having a fake aquarium at the end for (name) to look at “see? No tears” Shane kissed his head and Ilya gently traced his cheek “we love you, sleep well yes?”

The two stayed with him until he fell asleep, exhausted from the day and when his breathing evened out the two wandered out into the livingroom. Ilya rested his head against Shane's stomach “our first of many tantrums” Shane murmured and Ilya hummed “he's perfect, shame first word was “no”” he chuckled tiredly and the new parents sat in the quiet livingroom, the grey couch more comfortable than usual.

“We're parents...” Ilya said softly and Shane hummed “we are... Crazy”

“I want him to be loved, loved more than I was” Ilya looked to his husband who smiled “you are already doing so well, he adores you”

“And you, he seeks you out like little missile”

“Everyone's going to love him...”

The social worker warned them that he may have troubles with a new environment but (name) handled it better than expected when he saw the two, half awake and drool on his little cheek a Shane brought him to breakfast, scrambled eggs with a bit of cheese along with small wholegrain pancakes, blueberries on top. “Good morning” Ilya said taking a cloth and cleaning the drool off his cheek and (name) looked at him with barely open eyes “he's not even blood related yet he looks like you in the morning” Shane teased an Ilya rolled his eyes playfully before kissing his husband, (name) resting his little head on Shane's shoulder.

(Name) Enjoyed his breakfast, eating what he felt for which wasn't too much but he was full and happy when freed to watch his 30 minutes of cartoons; they wanted to limit screen time aka avoid letting him on tablet sand the likes. (Name) Watched bluey without much of a care, the parents tidying up after lunch and Ilya watched the tot carefully, (name) standing up and waddling to his toy boy that they set up in the livingroom and found toy fruits.

The two watched him inspect his toys, gifts from loved ones he had yet to meet and the two men watched him lean over into the toy box and pull things out to inspect them. They wandered over and sat with him and (name) have a sweet smile before handing Shane a Velcro toy strawberry “why thank you” the boy turned and handed Ilya a toy pear and the Russian grinned “I see something better to eat!” He lifted the boy and blew raspberries on his little belly, the laughter infectious and Shane couldn't help but record the moment.

The two had been taking countless photos, plans to get them out together for a photo book. They wanted to remember every single memory with their son who became their entire world.

Shane understood now why his mom was so protective of him.

Something they learned about the little one was that he loved to be included in things, often following his dad's around everywhere which was adorable until Shane needed to use the washroom and the tot sobbed when he wasn't allowed in.

That was another thing they realised, they no longer had any privacy when they boy was up.

Which sucked for both of them.

“Can't believe we're dilfs now” Ilya was exhausted from keeping up with the tiny baby who ran around happily and tried to get into everything and Shane huffed a laugh, the boy having nap time “well soon he'll have so many new people to keep him entertained”

Not to mention his parents wanting grandma/grandpa sleep overs with their grandbaby once they were settled together.

“We are putting him in sport, too much energy” Ilya joked and Shane huffed a laugh “hockey for him won't start until he's at least three, for now we gotta tire him out the old fashioned way”

Thank god they had a large backyard.

-

A week went by and (name) wore an adorable outfit purchased by his grandparents, a hockey themed shirt that said “future NHL captain” and simple cotton pants, recently he found a gag gift Shane received for his birthday last year which was a stuffed bear that was themed after Ilya himself who thought it was hilarious to give to his husband.

Now he thought it was double hilarious when (name) dragged it around the house with an iron grip.

“See! I am best!” he grinned as the sound of a car pulling into their driveway alerted them both, little (name) preoccupied with Ilyas shoes that he managed to find, putting one in a toy soup pot much to his parents amusement.

When Yuna and David walked in, they had at least seven gift bags, most for their new grandson but a few for the parents like tea and those chocolates Ilya liked. Shane lifted his son up, wandering to his parents and Yuna looked ready to cry “oh my god, he's perfect” they saw him through photos but this? He was absolutely precious “(name), this is your grandma and grandpa, can you say hi?” He asked softly and (name) looked contemplative before offering a shy wage and turning to hide in his dad's neck, staring at Ilya who was just behind them and poked his sons chubby cheek and the little one gave a hilarious amount of cut eye to his dad.

The group went back to the living room, (name) looked at the bags curiously, some bigger than him and they watched him investigate them before being absolutely fascinated by tissue paper “doesn't even care about the toys” David chuckled “Shane was just like that with boxes” Yuna was sitting with her grandson who waved the tissue paper happily and handed some to Yuna who beamed “why thank you! That's very polite of you!”

“So any meltdowns?” David could already see the slight exhaustion on them and Ilya chuckled “you never think that the random things would be the most world ending” he looked at the boy who returned his focus to the bags and pulled one down and crawled into it, tossing the stuffed toy that was in it aside before Yuna pulled him out and smooched his cheek “he's a quiet little guy, isn't he?” David commented and Ilya nodded “only thing he said was “no” unfortunately” the adults chuckled “ah the dreaded no, I remember when Shane said it” Yuna reminisced fondly while (name) wandered to Shane, suddenly very nervous about being away from him.

“It's been a week and he's already a Velcro baby” Shane said happily “shame he follows to toilet”

“Ah, potty patrol” David chuckled and (name) slumped against his dad's chest, clearly exhausted but didn't want to miss anything.

“I'm going to take little one for his nap” Shane said fondly and Yuna looked hopeful “can I help?”

“Of course, he needs grandma kisses”

-

Yuna admired the nursery, forest theme with a mix of bright and soft colours for the boy who whined but let himself be placed in the crib, both father and grandmother giving him a smooch “I remember when you were this small, just as precious...” Her eyes were watery “my baby had a baby...” She managed and Shane pulled her into a hug “and you get to be the best grandma ever, I love you mom” he managed to say without crying and the two hugged while (name) looked at them with heavy eyes, his aquarium playing for him.

When the two came back into the livingroom, the space was already cleared and the toys were unpacked and placed by the toy box for (name) later. “You two alright?” David asked and Yuna nodded “just... Didn't expect time to fly so fast” she said softly and Ilya poured her a glass of wine to her appreciation, baby was asleep after all.

The four chatted away, it was the off season so they didn't have much to worry in terms of childcare but they were looking into a nanny for the boy along with Russian nurseries “they are better” Ilya said simply and it wasn't a lie, they didn't have to bring food for (name) and the ones they saw had a warmer environment.

Not to mention, the boy was learning English, Canadian-French and Russian so the environment would be helpful.

“Oh and ASL when he's a bit older, we thought it would be good to know” Shane said after they listed the languages and the grandparents looked stunned “isn't that... A lot to teach so young?”

“Babys brain like sponge, start young” Ilya said simply and the grandparents let them do as they wished.

“Are you guys going to start him in hockey when he's old enough?” David asked and Ilya nodded “we are bringing him to ice soon to get used to it” they already had a tiny pair of skates for the boy and Yuna looked at them warmth “I better get pictures”

Eventually the grandparents left, sneaking a peak at the sleeping baby and leaving Shane and Ilya to get a quick nap in before (name)s little voice called on the baby monitor.

They had only been referring themselves and each other as papa for Ilya and dada for Shane so heading a soft “dadadada...” From the monitor made Shane nearly start crying from pure joy.

And it didn't take long for little (name) to call out for Ilya when he didn't see him immediately “papa?” He asked in Shane's arms as Ilya went to pee and the man grinned “so smart!”

The two took him to the backyard, watching him waddle with his little squeaky shoes on and chased a butterfly without a care.

“He's going to love when we go to cottage next week” Ilya beamed and the two put together their social media posts to introduce their baby though due to privacy they posted a picture of Ilya’s finger being gripped by a sleeping (name)s tiny chubby hand, nothing showing what he looked like and they didn't even say his name, they wanted to keep him away from cameras for as long as possible.

*Photo*

@SHANE_HOLLANDER

@ILYA_ROZANOV 🏒 and I have a new team member, meet the newest member of the Hollanov family and the Ottawa Centaurs 🩷🏒

@Svet_Vetrova: he's going to wipe the floor with the metros

@Rose_Landry: it's my god son!!! Look at that little hand!

@h-h-hayden: god a future hockey player raised by these two? I fear for other teams lol

@ILYA_ROZANOV 🏒: MY PERFECT BOY!

"I even had an appointment with an endocrinologist a month before we actually got into a relationship, but well…" It left you without much difference; all the feelings that existed within you were still there, recharging after all those tears had left.

The only emotion that came out was a sad laugh, caused by your frustration at holding the spoon with your hand being all bandaged.

Dick, on the other hand, didn't seem amused at all by the information.

After all those emotions, which had barely happened an hour ago, he barely said a word, only gently helped you up and go to the home theater and put you on one of the sofas before leaving without saying a word, which scared and comforted you at the same time, with a pang of hope mixed with a fear similar to before.

But then he appeared less than two minutes later with two bowls of ice cream and a very large heavy blanket, determined to keep you company, without saying anything or asking anything of you; the only thing he said was a whisper about how Alfred would kill you two after ruining your appetite for lunch.

And you had no idea, maybe it was the fact that you was finally going to be able to talk to someone about it after years of keeping it all bottled up, but it simply made you start talking nonstop.

Your childhood, your fifteenth birthday party, your parents, the feeling of finally going to college, meeting Bruce, when he brought Richard and his siblings to the mansion, the wedding and how you threw up before walking down the aisle because of the dress, your job, the first broken mirror last week, what happened at the party last night.

And Dick watched it all with a terrified look.

He was pale and didn't made any work to hide his terrified expression; he didn't dare to say something or to even move during the whole story, just staring at you and slowly getting worse.

"Have you been in the closet for over 15 years?" He whisper like it was a forbidden secret or someone would listen, even tho it was just you two in the whole manor.

You didn't look at him, just keep staring at the melting ice cream you had in hands.

"Yep" you said, popping the 'p' and letting out another incredulous little laugh. "It's... It's too much for me to really come out of the closet right now, you know? There are so many people who—oh shit! Don't cry."

You barely glanced at him, and the most obvious thing was his red eyes and the tears running, while he had a open mouth like a dumb fish.

"I-I am sorry. This... this is straight out of a horror movie" You got close to try provide some comfort but he clean his own tears and take a deep breath before push you for a hug. "I shouldn't be the one crying in this situation, but gosh... I would be dead"

The courage to answer this don't hit you, because you know damm well you should be dead at this point; you just nod and get closer to him, and Dick looks to get the memo, at least a bit.

For a couple of minutes, is just that, a comfortable silence between you two while snugging. Affection was always present with Dick, but that was bringing memories of when he still was a little brat running around in little shorts, times that definitely nothing was easier, but the nostalgia was welcomed.

"I called you dad early, is that alright?" He say in a whisper, a not so dramatic one this time tho.

Is a simple question, one that you appreciate, but saying yes would make everything way too real. And if you received this same question two weeks ago, you would desperately say no with all the air in your lungs, but now, wouldn't hurt just a bit...

"Please..." It was supposed to be a "yes, thank you" or any other variation, but beg for it was more natural.

" 'kay, dad" The smile on his face was listenable, and honestly, took a small one from you too.

The felling was wonderful, was warm and something so soft you didn't fell on years, and it was just like that, just like love. It left you speechless because, even though you had imagined it thousands of times before, it was still something so new and raw that it hurt.

"Can I ask you something? Two things actually" You just nod, cause this would or fuck up the moment or make you fell more of it. "Do you... Never though about Tim? Like, my kid is bisexual and have a boyfriend, and everyone is do nice about it, why don't come out? Or, i don't know, anything..."

"Of course I tough, way too much, but, Tim is a son, I am a mother" the line was pretty simple in your head, that's why you only shrugged while answering, still with a fragile tone. "If a teenager come home late after a night out, is ok, they are a teen and is expected, if a parent come late in a night out, even if their children is being taken care by the other parents, family member or babysitter, they are a bad parent and not responsable enough. Tim is young, new, is allowed, I'm way to old"

He murmur something about the analogy that don't make it was to your ear so you don't even bother. He looks like was to say something, maybe disagree or something, but he stop himself before start and just go.

"Hm... Do you have a name?"

During your adolescence and the short period during college, you had thought about it quite frequently, the problem tho was that you was so scared that couldn't pick one; after Bruce, you just simply stopped with that, so it was just one more thing. Your name... Well, dead name, was yours and didn't have much to do.

So you simple shake your head at him.

"So, I still call you by your current name?"

It tasted bitter on your face, like a lemon, making it clear that also wasn't a pleasant option.

"I... Is gonna do a couple years that I don't think about it, and Bruce wouldn't appreciate his wife randomly changing names, you know?" You let a small and low laughter, almost depreciating.

Dick let a sight and push you closer, basically bear hugging you.

"So you are a... Transman and hm, gay? Bi?" He says like is nothing, and it should be, but you still cannot say it so casually.

In fact you never even spoke it out loud, so without giving a proper answer you nod your head, and he sight again.

"You really need to talk to Bruce"

"What?" You move a little to get out of his hug but it doesn't work, and you hear the third little sight.

"You are getting your life destroyed over the sake of your husband comfort, if he loves you like he says, I doubt he will broke up after all those years after hear it, and if he does, then I guess he isn't a good enough man" He says it with soo much confidence that almost scariest you. Even tho he's eyes still red from all the crying, he looks way too brave.

"Riri, he is straight, doesn't matter if he loves me or not, people have the right to have preferences-"

"Oh please! He loves you! You two are married for 8 years! How you never realized that man is a dog? You could punch him in the face and he will say sorry. Every single valentine's day and birthday looks like is the first and last one" Richard cut yourself quickly and start to talks as fast as possible. "This logic could apply for every single couple on the world, besides you two!"

Honestly, that just make you even scared, and he notices this when he cover you more with the blanket, without even looking your reaction.

"If he broke up with you, I will be there for go with you, ok?" He kiss you on the forehead, and you reply the same gesture on him with a small smile basically just as sad as before.

Dick was Bruce's robin, but he was always your son. Is not that Bruce doesn't love the boy, is pretty much the opposite, the man couldn't even think about it, but sometimes, a dad need more of a son that he knew about. If you told yourself from 10 years ago your biggest confident was your adoptive son, you wouldn't believe.

"We still have more two hours-ish before everyone come, do you wanna more ice cream?"

You think you gonna vomit.

Dick was being all sweet and gentle with you, but right now you just want to run away, what he even helps you do; in the moment you fell the teats coming back after quite a while, you first instinct is to ask for to go back to your room. You couldn't have this anymore, you couldn't just be here knowing at every second it would turn upsidedown all again.

And he helps your without questionin.

He guided you until your room again, without saying a word. He holded you while shakily walking and kissed your forehead before going away and closing the door, like you was some child.

You passed the other two hours you had alone, without able to say a word, laying in bed like some kind of a sick people, and you couldn't hear not even a noise from around the masion, you imagined that Dick was being similar to you in a way.

And when you hear the first motorcycle parking outside of the manor, you first instinct is to run. You knew it wasn't Bruce, but your mind didn't care. You was bassically melting with the bed,

You couldn't see your kids like this, you barely have energy to think about Bruce right now, see they only would worse everything, and that make you fell like a horrible dad.

The mirror Infront of you catches you eyes, the one that replaced the one you broke in the start of your crisis; is the first time you properly look at yourself since you woke up, and you're disgusting.

You looked dirty, gross, out of place, a really fucked up woman, and in maybe one hour you will have too look at your husband and convince him that this is a man, when you don't even believe it right now.

Waist, chest, legs, head, even your misery was a woman.

You don't wanna do it, you don't wanna lose him, but even if you don't talk about it, he will want to talk about it, he will look at you like you deserve gentleness somehow and ask about it until he can.

"Everyone saw what happened yesterday, you don't bullshit me right now! [Deadname] was totally fucked up and you don't have the right to act like I'm being the lunatic here" Jason's voice was hearable from your room. He talked with so much anger and fear at the same time that for a moment you don't think it was Jason.

"Jay, I not saying any of that, I just asking for god's sake to relax, she is ok right now and just need space, please-"

Jason said something back, but you didn't mind hearing, you just laid in the bed and cover yourself with the dirty blankets and sheets, taking a deep breath before let the tears.

And voice after voice made you worse.

After Jason, it was Cass, them Duke, Tim, Damian, even Alfred. They were all begging to know what was happening to you, what was happening to their mother; hearing Alfred call you by your "name," without any honorific title in front of it, almost made you jump out of bed.

You don't know how long you was there, just crying or breathing in your bed, but when someone knocked on the door, you knew exactly who was without a word.

"Can I come in babe?" Bruce's voice was soft, sweet, the one he reserve only to you.

You didn't had any strenght to answer it in anyway, but he took your silence as a easy answer, and you slowly hear the old wood door be opened.

That night, Dustin radios to the party. "Code red, we have a code red."

He repeats the code. When the line fills with static for more than a minute. "I repeat, we have a code red."

"The world literally better be ending again," Lucas huffs into the receiver.

Mike answers just a moment later, "I agree. What's going on Dustin?"

"Who do we know with the initials E.M?" Dustin asks.

"Why?" Lucas returns.

"Just focus, Lucas. Who do we know with those initials?"

"Eddie?" Mike offers. "His last name is Munson."

"Can't be him," Dustin scoffs. "What's Elizabeth's last name? The one with the braces? She asked me to to tutor her one year in middle school."

"McCall," Lucas answers.

"Hmm, not his type," Dustin deduces. You didn't seem to go exclusively for nerdy but Dustin figures you'd go for someone cooler. The spend half an hour going through everyone they know. Only a few make the list: Emma Marshall--a senior, like you, was more punk, asked everyone to call her Em; Evelyn Malcom, a junior who you had geography with, she didn't really have a distinct clique but she was nice enough; and Esther MacDonald, a senior who always had a spot in the school play.

"We should watch their movements," Dustin commands. It would be the only way to figure out who you were dating.

"You still haven't told us why?" Mike counters. "Why do we care?"

"They're initials are E.M." Dustin launches into the explanation about the tattoo--he thinks what's what it is. Though it's faint.

"E.M. could literally be anyone. Who's to say it isn't a relative who like died or something?"

Dustin ponders it for a moment but dismisses it on the face that you never talked about anyone in your family dying. Perhaps there were things that people just didn't talk about. Dustin knows he doesn't talk about his dad much. But still--it would have to be someone important. Who would be more important than a girlfriend?

But the guy ultimately cave and agree to help Dustin keep tabs on you. The Monday they return to school each of them as their person--Dustin has Emma, Lucas has Evelyn, Mike has Esther.

The only thing that Dustin notices on Monday is that when Emma hands over notes. You give a quick smile, saluting her as you return to your desk. You never look at her again in class. Before getting into the cafeteria Lucas reports that you walked right past Evelyn with a glance. Mike has nothing on you and Esther, but his hopes aren't high.

"Are we missing something obvious?" Dustin ponders. He just briefly catches the smirks on Lucas and Mike's face. He watches their eyeline and turns to the cafeteria doors. He can spot you, slipping into your seat next to Eddie at the table but nothing out of the ordinary as Eddie gives you a side hug. He leans in and Dustin thinks he's just whispering something to you.

You laugh and shrug out of his one arm sling. You swat his chest and then the rest of the group falls into conversation.

"What?" Dustin asks. He turns back to Lucas and Mike. They shake their heads. But it's clear they're going to share.

Friday when the group falls into the drama room, Dustin's begged the entire week for Lucas and Mike to share what they know. They don't budge. Refuse to with snickers of laughter the entire time. Dustin's trailing behind them, huffy and screeching just their refusal. He's annoyed. Why wouldn't they share what they knew? Besides all the data they'd collected clearly indicated that you and none of the girls were together.

But em is etched into your hip.

"Henderson, I'm not dealing with the attitude already," Eddie huffs out, not looking up from behind the DM shield.

"Lucas and Mike are being asses," Dustin returns. He doesn't want to over explain but at the least he needs someone to understand that he's not the one being unreasonable.

"When aren't those two little shits not asses?" Eddie quips with a grin. Lucas and Mike both protest, pulling out their character sheets as they do so.

"It's not our fault Dustin is oblivious," Lucas snorts.

You step next to Eddie, arm slinging around his shoulder. "We haven't even started, save the sass for the campaign."

"It'll cost two kisses," Eddie huffs out. You snort, bending down just a little, pecking his lips twice and then his cheek once. "Insurance?" Eddie asks.

"You bet your ass," you snort.

"You! It's you!" Dustin shouts, finger wagging at Eddie. "You're e.m."

Eddie's brows furrow. "I mean, yeah, those are initials."

Dustin singles you out with his digit. His eyes are wide and a little bit of spit flies out of his mouth as he speaks. "The tattoo! It's for Eddie?"

"The tattoo?" you question.

Dustin storms over, muttering under his breath that of course it would be so obvious and of course Lucas and Mike wouldn't say anything. Dustin lifts the hem of your shirt, finger tapping on the faint ink on your hip. "E. M."

Eddie had done an attempt of a stick and poke. It was fading and the lines were dropping a little. "Oh," you laugh. "Yeah. Eddie's a fucking comedian when he's drunk."

"That shit is professional and you know it, sweets," Eddie grins up at you.

"Wait--" Gareth's voice interrupts. "Dustin, you are making a whole scene because Eddie and him are dating?"

"I had to figure out who the initials for," Dustin recounts the story of the deodorant and Jeff snorts at the conclusion. He launches himself into the retelling of Lucas and Mike brainstorming girls, collecting the data via the interactions and the inevitable conclusion. "It is not funny. It was important."

Jeff holds up his hands. "I didn't know either until right now, but I mean, Henderson, you could've asked."

"Also, Henderson, you gonna let my shirt go or what?" you ask.

"Shit, sorry," Dustin releases the cotton and steps over to his seat. "I can't believe nearly everyone else knew but me."

"Because we use our eyes," Mike returns, leaning onto the tables to close some of the distances as the sarcasm drips from his tone.

Dustin flips him off in return, mimicking his words in a higher and more nasally voice. Eddie reaches down to rub his palm over the cap on Dustin's head. "It's alright, kid. Everyone has their moments. Now, if we can, there's monsters to slay."

"Monsters," Dustin recalls. You perch yourself in a seat behind Eddie, occasionally voicing NPC's and rolling for them. You took a step back once you started dating Eddie knowing that it might be unfair even though Eddie was strict to not talk campaign stuff to you.