Rackula, the Dracula with Big Tits

*making two dolls kiss and dropping them both out nowhere, all the emotion and life leaving my face* right. enough of that.

Do you ever wonder how many stories have been told about you? I don’t mean rumors or gossip. A story like “ one time I was at the mall and this girl dropped her hotdog but she picked it up and ate it” what if I’m that girl??how many times have people seen me do something I thought no one saw and is now being used as an ice breaker at a family dinner? Hmmmmmm?!???!

one time i was in this historical park in new york and i was climbing a tree in order to get a good photo and i fell out just as a family was walking past…two years later i ran into the mom at stop&shop and she gasped and said “oh my god, tree girl?” and i’ve never been the same since

One time at the pub a friend started telling a story about an embarrassing thing that happened to a "friend of a friend". That was my story.

tumblr is the website for if you're just someone's weird sister

99% of fanfiction is absolute dogshit bathwater and that’s beautiful, I love that, I love that the barrier for entry is nonexistent, I love that anyone can do it, I love all the badly written porn, I love that it’s just creation for creation’s sake, I love it. Except when it’s something I’m into. When it’s something I’m into, then I’m gonna need everyone to step it up.

you're just mad because you're hungry and tired and your legs hurt and you head hurts and you're too hot and you have depression

I feel like mr cowgirl is seated too far back for the actual dick in arse angle to work.

am i allowed to say kill all trillionaires or is that too specific of a threat

whats everyones favorite cocktails. i totally adore a sex on the beach. no rum and coke okay i want your favorite gay ass colorful fruity tasting type of drink okay? okay. i trust you. i love you

Amazing moments in Dads: my friend’s dad’s critique of Frankenstein was, “I just don’t think the author had read science fiction before.”

You could make art about it? Like one of those weather tracking blankets people on video sites love, but with your stats.

The most basic, intractable fact about mental illnesses is that you simply cannot willpower your way out of them. The only exceptions to this rule are the ones I have, which continue to disable me due to lack of determination and other grave personal flaws