there are people you haven’t met yet who will love you

Person: *says something vaguely nice to me* Me: I’m in love with you. Person: *says something in a neutral/indifferent tone to me* Me: Geez…if you hate me so much why don’t you just tell me???

yeah that shit sucks

As someone who suffers from BPD, I can’t even begin to explain how our fear of abandonment differs severely than those w/o the disorder. This disease is shit. It’s hearing the slightest change in tone, seeing the most discreet change in posture, constantly and endlessly analyzing everyone to pick up on signs that indicate that they’re going to leave you. It’s replaying seemingly miniscule things in your head over and over and over that impact you so severely that it becomes a physical pain- oh, your friend is hanging out with someone else? Guess what, they hate you now, they’ve already replaced you, you’re gone and forgotten about, just like that. Our fear of abandonment is rarely subsided. Our fear of abandonment is the only thing we know won’t leave us. Our fear of abandonment is crippling and toxic and it festers inside of us until we lash out in pure RAGE, driven by those formerly repressed emotions, and push the ones we want to stay away from us. We fear our own fear of abandonment. I am tired of being this way. I am tired of having this disorder.

i'm hotter than i think i am but i'm also uglier than i think i am. won't elaborate

yeah

i just finished writing a story i spent 2 years on and oh my gosh i couldn’t relate to something more if i tried.

This is the real shit!! Every ounce of recovery for me has been approached this way

im going to come out and say it: isolating is a self-destructive behavior. it might not be as obvious and immediately self-destructive as say, impulsive spending, drug use or risky behaviors, but it gradually decays relationships and can deepen your mental health issues. often, our impulse is to retreat from others and responsibilities for “self care” or to “work on ourselves” and obviously sometimes we need mental health breaks, but there’s a line you cross from “taking a break” to full on neglecting your relationships with others and your social needs that can be incredibly damaging to yourself and others over time

This man. The amount of love i have for hozier is honestly insane. like hozier could actually push me off a very tall bridge and id thank him on the way down. he’s just SO precious. honestly if it came to me having to choose between saving him from a burning building or my closest friends sorry guys but i’ll be saving hozier. okay anyways thank you for listening to this very short rant :).