Religious Differences Dating

:)

What have bee the benefits you've seen?

Something I need to remember as I take the steps forward. I'm doing better at not living in the past but just have ti find that right path for me.

I bought a Bloodstone today. This one just kept calling out to me. Hopefully it will help me balance myself out. That's my goal. Bloodstone is also Adams stone so I honestly don't know if that has anything to deal with it or not. We are still trying to figure out what we are supposed to be. I honestly have no clue. I keep coming across tortured souls and its just, WHYYYY? that goes through my head. I understand that Adam has his own but they really aren't nearly as bad. I'm glad Adam is protective of me even though currently we aren't in a relationship and probably won't again because honestly right now I know I'm going to end up in a mess with not being sure how to get out of it. My surroundings right now aren't the best. Therefore I keep distancing myself from those people. Just keep distancing. Keeping up with contact with those who are friends of the families but staying as far away as possible. On the bright side I'm finding my center :)

I can't pour my feelings into this post. But I definitely hate people who want to be with who they think are their soul mates when their soul mate wants nothing to do with them besides friendship. I'm ready for them to be over this love phase. Because I can't deal with it right now.

I woke up yesterday in his arms and I cried a little. For the first time in a while I felt safe, content. That scared the hell out of me. We broke up and only reason I laid down was a slight itch of a headache and feeling drained. It sucks. He doesn't feel butterflies for me. He feels them for someone else but he doesn't know where that may go. Honestly I don't even know truly ifI want it to work out. I thought I did. Then idk what happened. I closed down my emotions because I was hurt. I dont like that he makes me feel safe. I don't like that he drives me crazy. I dont like that we can get in an argument and five minutes later be okay. I dont like that he's seen me cry, seen me at my worst and seen me vomit. It's weird. I dont like that we have some kind of connection neither of us knows what it is. I don't like that we have felt drawn to each other the past six years. Mostly, I dont like that my middle name and spelled out in the veins of his arm and neither of us know why. I dont think I will ever find the answers I want. And I will probably just have to accept that. In the end, I will probably move on because truthfully though it was the best six moths of my life I honestly don't know if he will ever look at me and not question his decision.

How I find this true

Since the fire have started working out since we are at an apartment with a workout facility. Second day at it and that's my score on the treadmill, I say that's pretty good. Bad thing is I'm getting chest pains halfway through it. I'm just thankful they aren't as worse as they used to be.

Sux being stuck :/

Should really stop doing the relationship spreads. I dont know why. But that's all I've really done with my tarot cards as of late. Really need yo stop. Especially since I've gotten a lot of the same cards. It's just important for me to note that something may disrupt us and both if us have to be cautious about it because the problem could come from either side.

So I have bought my adventurines in pairs which for me I think is odd. Has anybody else bought a pair of stones or aventurines. I kept all four in my pocket while at work today. Mainly because they give me energy as well as happiness to play off of. It's kinda nice.