No, because why do assholes live and exist, this is pissing me off.
So I'm gonna try to keep this as vague as possible, but I'm just so disheartened. I'm working on a project right now for an organization I'm the head of at my university, and my older higher up gave out a critique. He thought I should change my plan because of logistics. A plan that I chose because it would help more people have a chance at being published. It didn't feel good, but I nodded and said "Okay I'll change that!" No big deal, even though fewer people would get a chance!
He continues to go on a rant pretty much repeating the same thing he said for 10 mins, "Right? You see, you can't do that thing because bla bla bla. You gotta be realistic, you know you're new to this, and we know a lot about the publishing world. You're too idealistic." ????? So I'm like, uhhh, why does he keep going? I already said I would change it? So I nodded again and repeated everything he said back to him but simplified. "Okay, so you're saying, bla bla bla. Okay, ____(new higher up, who would replace him), we can schedule a meeting to work on that, please?"
I thought he would move on, but he does it AGAIN for another 10 minutes in front of everyone. Like, bro, WE GET IT! I was like damn, 'yap, yap, yap, yap, yap'. By the end of it, I didn't give him a response and just nodded while staring, while I made my energy and body language convey my dislike. He seems to have gotten the message because he got nervous, stopped talking, and changed the subject. I don't know what answer he was looking for from me, and why he kept repeating it in that way, throwing insults on the low, but like, bro?? I just met you like a few months ago. Why are you trying to 'little girl' me??? And this isn't the first time he's done this.
The thing is, I look a lot younger than my age. I'm very bubbly, and I'm passionate in the way that I speak, so people tend to underestimate me. Its really weird that I constantly encounter people repeatedly and almost want to "humble" me for 'dreaming too big' or 'being naive' like they know me. In this case, I saw his point, and even though I felt like there could be a better solution, I didn't bother speaking it because I was tired of fighting. Especially since I need to save my energy to work on publishing my novel on the personal side of things and for my really fun internship, THAT IS ACTUALLY PAYING MEEE. Im technically doing the project for free, just a notch on my resume.
And he thinks I should start working on it now even though I'm on summer vacation??? Like tfff. But with someone else, he was like, "I know it's summer, so you don't have to do it now." It's so rude. If he tries to get me to do it now, I will politely remind him, "It is summer, and I am on vacation." No respect at all.
I don't want only 'yes, men' around me, I love when people give me critiques but that was just too much, I almost cried right on spot. Thankfully, I won't have to work with him, but this makes me scared for the future. I'm nervous that I'll keep encountering people like this since I'm studying to be a lawyer, and I'm entering the publishing field. Like...
I even had a guy 'friend' (who I don't talk to anymore) scoff and say, "You? A lawyer? Your personality doesn't match that at all. And you act like its so easy, you'll be a newcoming lawyer in debt and barely making any money. You're clearly not thinking this through". Like bro??? I was just expressing excitement about changing degree paths, and he felt the need to say this. Mind you, hes going down a complete other field, so idk how he would know what it takes to be a lawyer in the first place?
This guy is not going to get a sliver of energy from me. I'm only accepting people who are able to see me as capable AND give critique. I've met many older higher-ups like that before, and they're so fun to be around.
Anyway, sorry if this is your first time on my page lmaoooo, and this is your first encounter with me. I just think someone else may have the same experience. This honestly isn't that serious, I'm probs being dramatic but....am I?
Now that I think about it, my novel character is legit going through this in the next episode. Imagine if all novels we write are portals that parallel our lives 👻🤨. I'm gonna post the quote, even though the chapter is not posted yet. Only my tumblr queens will get a sneak peek.
