Planet Earth's Favorite E-Girl

What I say is firmly, one hundred percent fact, and has no correlation to Welcome to Night Vale whatsoever.

Oh, Them? ....We don’t talk about Them.

I take each of the suspects and ruthlessly interrogate them with the good cop/bad cop routine, except the good cop is on an eternal lunch break, and the bad cop seems just slightly inhuman. Perhaps their limbs are too long, or their eyes too bright. You realize you cannot see their reflection in the two-way mirror. The bad cop is not pleased with your discovery.

Have you checked the back of your neck? There may be some hiding under your hair.

I suppose it’s time to crack open the Handy Dandy Notebook and solve this mystery the old fashioned way, then.

Would I love it if you told me? Or would I hate it? It all depends on what it is.

Oh? And what might that be?

If I know the point, then I’m afraid I’ve forgotten it. Could you please enlighten me?

Haven’t lost one, but have you checked to see if you’ve gained one or two recently?

I know you read the question, John.

Are you sure?