Reigh

(High school/College Au)

1.~ “Look pal, I don’t know who the HELL you think you are, but if you’re the asshole stealing goldfish from my locker every day, then we’re about to have a SERIOUS problem.”

~

2.~ “I don’t CARE if you’re captain of the swim team, if you put one more rescued snail in my locker ‘bEcAUsE iT wAs LoNeLY,’ I swear I’ll dump my ten-pound collection of glitter into your pool.”

~

3.~ “My best friend bet twenty bucks that you won’t kiss me, but if you do we can split the money fifty/fifty.”

~

4.~ “My mom’s forcing me to be social this weekend, but I really just want to finish my book, so I’ll pay you twenty bucks and a pack of gum to tell her we hung out.”

~

(On Saturday: “No, you idiot, I didn’t say pick me up at eight, how the hell did you come to that conclusion?)

~

5.~ “WTF…you’re raising tadpoles in the bathroom sink??? And to answer your question, no, I don’t want partial custody!”

~

me who knows exactly whats coming:

me, being home: