With the morning light barely brushing against his skin, he sucks in a few more breaths. He allows himself a moment to feel the weight of their words, only a moment, before he shakes out his legs for a run and starts removing the fresh wraps on his hands. He didnât know where he was running to, but it was anywhere that wasnât here. Here he could feel himself slipping further away. His warmth was seeping right out of him in a place that was suppose to be home. Their home. Now he canât look back at it.
He lets the wrappings slip through his hands. The wind only picks at them briefly when they fall to the gravel behind him as he is about to take off running. But, he doesnât make it a step further without the sound of heavy footfall on rocks to alert him of another presence. Eyes squeezing shut, a thumb and forefinger rubbing at his eyes and down his cheeks, he debates running. He could still make it. It would be a challenge trying to out maneuver her powers outside, but he has done it before. Just go now! Go, go, go, go, go! His mind is frantically screaming the words, almost begging, while his feet stand their ground. His body is in its own little war and all that ends with is his heart losing out as she catches up to him, and he lets her twist him around to face her.
He doesnât catch her gaze. Rather he stands straight, towering her enough to look over her head at the mansion that stood tall behind her. This damn place. Her. He couldnât keep doing this. All this twisting and pulling. The leaving and staying. What was real? Was any of it real? He isnât sure of much anymore. Then she starts sputtering out a lot at once, and something in his chest cracks with her always. Always loved him. Always. How can she say she loved him when she didnât even confide in him? How could she be saying all this now after months of proving the opposite? It didnât make sense. If she loved him, why did she choose to stay there after everything was over? If this was love⌠did he even want it?
Before he could come up with an answer, she is slipping away from him again. He really couldnât keep doing this. âFreyja, please.â His voice cracks, âfor once. Stop running.â
He stands there. Unsure of himself. Wrestling with his thoughts and what it meant to give in. It was a lot. This, what they had, has been festering for so long. Kept hidden while fire met fire. This much desire drove him to leave everything behind for her. And while it ruined things, a part of him was certain he would do it again, in a second, in a heartbeat, for her. She let him know he still had a shred of a heart while freezing and covered in blood for awhile. He almost started to believe her. Until she let him know otherwise, and then chose the brotherhood over him. His fingers flex. He stifled a moan from the motion that caused his hands to ache. Hands she had been so gentle with a moment ago. So gentle. A vulnerability in her. A simple caress. He swallows. It was there: the terrifying truth. Unfolding never in her words but through her actions.
He finally takes a step towards her, wobbly. Then another. And another. âIf you love me, stop running away from me.â He canât keep his gaze off her now, all the love he has hoarded over the years emerging in his eyes even as she kept her back to him. And now the silence feels somewhat comforting as he thinks of what he wants to say, how much he can afford to give away. He moves around her to stand in front of her, blocking her way. The mansion and all its recent stirrings of real fears for him out of sight. Almost out of mind. He lets those same cracked, bloody hands caress both her cheeks. Itâs almost fitting. All of their moments seem to come with blood. âBecause I canât love you if you wonât stay.â
Thereâs just so much history when it comes to both Nik and herself. History that pulls at her heart, moments of time where sheâs always wanted to let go and embrace the darker part in her that selfishly has only ever wanted and never given up. And for so long she found herself containing it because she thought it would make others happier, and that she could find herself being content. But with each aching day she found herself falling into a deeper and a darker pit of loving those who seemed to find no fault in all her very many flaws. And she hated herself for it, but she couldnât help but wonder what it would be like if she could even find the courage to tell the truth, to speak her mind for the first time.Â
And she had given up so much in the past, it ached for her to see the pain so clearly depicted upon Nikâs features, ones that had so often been guarded amongst her after she had shattered his heart after he had lay it on the line for her. And perhaps just with these last few words she would finally feel free. She had felt caged for so long, doubting anyoneâs true intentions when it came to her life because of what had happened with her deceased mother and absent father. It had affected her more than she liked to admit, she was so utterly broken. Yet in the company of Nik and Cat she somehow was able to be made whole, and it ached her to tear them away from her heart. Her fingers caressing his arm, tightening ever so slightly as she pleaded for him to listen to words, to just hear them for the first time for what they truly were, she released a sigh of relief as the truth was finally spoken.
She no longer had to live in the life of possibilities and what ifs. He knew the truth and now the ball was in his court. She could live with the fact that he probably no longer loved her. She could live with the fact that she had probably lost her chance. But at least no longer it would plague her mind at night about the possibilities and what could have happened if she hadnât been so cowardly and chose to stomp on his heart instead of accepting his feelings and letting him know that she reciprocated them tenfold. Yet the moment she started to walk away, moisture beginning to well up in her eyes as she thought about the fact that their life could have had such a different future if she had taken another path, the moment she heard his voice resonate in the oh so deafeaning silence, she immediately stopped.
âYou love me?â She whispered, her heart dropping at each continued word. Her arms dropped to her sides as she reached out a hand to caress his face, her eyes gazing directly into his. âBut how could you possibly love me after all of this?â She asked, her eyes continuing to well up as she stepped closer towards him. He loved her. How could this be?