welcome here dear fellows. it’ll contain different kinds of post related to writings, quotes, drabbles &. more. this blog’s mainly about varying interests. follow with caution because mature &. d*rk themes shall be the ‘‘centerpiece’’ of few posts, plus trigger warnings shall be tagged. the author’ll explore numerous traits of royalty in details, not willing to sugar-coat the portrayals that represent the malevolence in flesh or submission to powers, eager to hear anguished "warblings" instead of picking up a burgeoning recovery. prime topics studied &. favored : royalty &. spirituality ect...
study of : personal glories, battle struggles in a quiet room, unannounced departure without notes, candidly reveal hidden potentials, scope of turmoils, deafening falls, the music box, voices in my head are my friends, geniuses when interests arise, hypocrisy often unchecked, sentimental values, the yearnings of a troubled noble, gaining’s business &. meditative instants, unspoken tragedies, undisclosed desires, the man &. satan, etc.
old writings ( be prepared for mistakes or bizarre complicated lines ) - urd geales' portrayal - brian - g-dragon's mindful authenticity -
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painting, giovannai gasparro - beautiful writing, unknown - hannibal rising, thomas harris - quote, jiddu krishnamurti - art in every day life (chapter one, the importance of good taste), harriet irene goldstein and vetta goldstein - the fencing lesson, alcide robaudi - the chronology of water: a memoir, lidia yuknavitch - isle of the d*ath, arnold böcklin - quote, fyodor dostoevsky
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detective kenichi takabe watching the original hypnosis
Cure, once named Evangelist, is a 1997 psychological thriller, familarly starting with the main character who enters a cr-me scene for assessment and detection, with occupied scientists who keep rummaging for evidences positioned in the background. assiduous team work, the ordinary examination of the limp half-n.ked c.rpse with bl--died mess, camera angles focus on the dialogues and the noisy people who theorize. Takame was in the hallways, listening to his colleague who gave orders in the phone, raised his hand, the background light noise decreased and he found the visibly distressed k-ller curled up in a narrow place. the guy's n.ked, probably because of intimacy with the prostitute before sl.ughtering her and etching a X mark into her thr.at and was hidden, utterly perplexed. admitted intent and then was stunned is the brief conclusion by the psychiatrict Sakuma after watching the interrogation on TV as if not really astonished by all this. it's obviously a total unawareness after m.rder, this demands a psychiatrict's help to dissect and understand this oddity. the k.ller's a bit tense, sharing his own version of the story with hands joined on the lap to anchor himself.
goals are to identify the meaning of k.lling and the strategical approachs. it could be r.vengeful scheme or uncontrollable impulse, or for thrills. books and movies can inspire, and digging into the relationship between the old m.rderer and the unfortunate acquaintance briskly sh-t was important. he was someone i didn't like was the explaination but the fel.ny was done with calmness, not with an overwhelming urge to r-p the infuriating man ap-rt. the steady quietness through the film is often uns.ttling, roadway noises, quotidian tasks, light banters or important discussions linked to cr.minal minds and explainations exhibit a normalcy before impromptu tw-sts arrive.
Mamiya’s lonesome and mysterious, acting weird in the eye of the ordinary and having this kind of “noctambulism” vibes, not hesitating to ask about others without invading directly their privacy or v.olating their boundaries. he had an excellent memory palace. with the female nurse, he spoke about the long inescapable emptiness, then let water falls on the ground as hypnotic tactic, knew his victim's job and guessed her different interests, used accurate memories like examination of a c.rpse since the girl intended to become a surgeon before twisting this educational practice by rambling about the natural urge to go beyond the scientifical examination of human anatomy. diss.cting is like openning the inner self and letting it express without abstinence and v.olating morality by replacing it with natural boundless inclinations. his favorite instruments are water or his lighter's flame, one's relaxing and one's enlightening, it's linked to wondrous symbolic qualities of the hydro and the pyro. this reveals Mamiya's tw.sted cure, hypnotizing to guide his targets and encouraging them to unleash what's locked inside or hidden since everyone follows righteous morals in society and Mamiya aimed high. it's about truth, revelation. his targets aren't puppets.
k.lling is liberating. the ordinary who greets the neighbors, focuses on daily tasks, walks in the streets and builds a life in the process can hide burgeoning m.nstruosities, accumulating tr.bulations that emerged in the childhood and upbringing before expl.ding and jumping on random thr.ats or specific wrongdoers. a blend of uneasiness and a tendency of keeping everything inside to not disrupt this society's ongoing flow may lead to hebetude or repression of emotions and w.rse. after the incident, Mamiya was caught and arrested because of his fingerprints on the wall, this hollowness disguised as nonchalance lingers in his expression, uttering remarks and avoiding questions. the detective almost went nuts since Mamiya was provoking and asked for a cigarette. Takabe kept investiguating, finding books of Mesmer and notes with scribbles. it's an unclean abandoned zone with dusts and leftovers.
the next scene was him hurrying up in corridors to pay a visit to Mamiya, and discussing matters that hinder Takabe from enjoying life while identifying himself as a professional detective and a flawed husband, never emotionally opening up and admitting it's his fault there's a lack of understanding in his marriage. he was quick to irritate, throwing objects and not willing to forgive Mamiya since everything’s complicated and Takabe was not prepared for this kind of case. the apathy is well-portrayed with Mamiya, leading to solitude and obsc.re beliefs, and hypnosis is to w.eaken mental fortitude and either guide or expose targets, using them as puppets before their quick awakenings then stupefactions follow because everything logically occured without self-control or true awareness. it was once studied as medical treatement but unfortunately, by adding a plethora of outl.ndish knowledge, it was dismissed and recognized as witchy. Sakuma d-ed, killing h-mself after the clean elimination of this mal-cious walking thr.at who announced that Takabe was finally bound to know his true personhood, he returns to his ordinary life with a hospitalized wife and drinking coffee, smoking to relax as usual when facing wearsome adversity. but, few instants are ambiguous, like Fumie’s tragic end with the X mark because the first passing was a hallucination, the waitress grabbing a kn-fe, this signifies that Takabe who listened to a recording device’s cryptic messages on loop “fearsome… heart of… his… healing hand… road of healing… not a long… take sword… a man… but dew… heal, o water-grass… o, winter… falls, snow… that… heal… snow… take… in hand… heal…” Mamiya knew how special was the detective, raised his finger to do the X mark, and this recording is not gibberish, but hypnotic and purposefully vague conversation to erode identity. Takabe was infected, next in the line and triggered another series of murd.rs.
Kiyoshi Kurosawa said “often when a m.rder incident occurs and you see a friend or a neighbor get interviewed on the TV news, and so on after the culprit is arrested. they generally say, “i never imagined he or she would…” they’re so polite. and what is generally reported in those instances is that it was actually a horr.ble k.ller pretending to be, or wearing a mask of a good father, a polite person, a courteous person. but i wondered if that really was the case. couldn’t a good father, a courteous person, a polite person, suddenly k.ll someone without having a secret hom.cidal side ?” he’s the writer and director of this masterpiece. the protagonist Takabe have this praiseworthy mental fortitude but also a d.rk side Mamiya temporarily exploited to open the cracks, acknowledging his resentment towards Fumie since her mental decl.ne weighs on Takabe. he might be professional and unable to off an innocent, but like the v.ctims in the film, Kiyoshi never hesitated to guide the viewers into understanding that people are products of their environments, harbor secrets and refrain from n.utralizing because of moral uprightness in societies. it’s also primordial to recall the movie’s original title Evangelist because it’s a messenger who spreads an idea, and Mamiya’s not promoting but spreading an idea with hypnosis, but the title Cure is even more al.rming because he was obssessed with unveiling and firmly believed it’s a remedy/cure - returning to the authentic self.
my interpretations of kwon jiyong's new album Ubermensch
translation : "overman" of friedrich nietzsche, inspiring the future author of the comics "superman".
G-dragon with his album's title desired to pursue what Nietzsche studied, and it's the entire dedication to using his talents like the voice and lyrics to exhibit his powerful life force, through this force anyone can dodge the possibility to drown in loneliness or inner conflicts, those main problems celebrities often face and express in their artworks. this force is unique and vital, enough to not be distraught by nihilistic tendencies like rejecting the beauty of life and only judging negativities without gazing upon many wonders that can heal and salvage earthly matters. G-dragon gives a lucid message to his fans by entitling his album "overman", not hesitating to show his vast knowledge in giving meanings as the astounding power of the human's will ( choose your fate after exploring many aspects of life itself, this depending on upbringing and intimate experiences and ambitions with this little touch of self-defined/self-expressed freedom — conceptions matter and sometimes go beyond what reality's thin surface exhibits ) despite his well-known struggles ( loneliness, rebunking false allegations, undisclosed turmoils that might later be central in his next projects ). humans acknowledge that happiness's temporary and unsatisfying, this permitting the d*rkest side of their core running after what can justify their growing bleakness and, in the process, dreading the future, leisurely abandoning what's preciously nurturing hopefulness and ultimately swooping in pain without wanting to find the remedy against pessimism, or maybe the hidden nihilism.
Nietzsche's Ubermensch's quite the work of a person depleted of hearing that profound meanings emerge from religious teachings ( for Nietzsche, interpretations exist, therefore dominate facts since most ought to garner innovations and knowledge that suit their proper agendas, or facts simply never existed, and all are fruits of ersatz determination to create truths for several reasons as finding the reason to exist )
ÜBERMENSCH's core learning explained very quickly : blasph*mous opposition/rebellion against religious piety/fundamentals, the opportunity to transcend and so to metamorphose into what's above humanity, and the goal's not to overwhelm lower species with this expected domination through greediness, tarnished will to power, like humans do the moment they venture near or into power's territory/field — it's transfiguration, straying from human's weak instinct of falling in empty tomorrows when they officially adhered to nihilism, reaching a far better quality, succeeding to disgusting flaws of human... when, in fact, the weaknesses ain't the physical structure of humans or existential questions that concern the looming darkness through egoistism or the youthful wastefulness but the misunderstood will power, lack of awareness, the hypocritical tendencies of people willing to rvin others to find a semblance of might and to fill the gnawing void inside or to blindly follow modish trends without knowing the origins of such rubbish innovations and far more — eye-opening and thought-provoking studies against "primitive shackles" and "universal or worldly interpretations", not to govern species or to worry about them.
G-dragon's not fully accepting Nietzsche's Ubermensch due to its famous logo : his daisy's missing petal, symbolizing the humane imperfection, the peace often demoralized by realistic occurences and norms. Kwon Jiyong and G-dragon are separated entities and the exact same people at the same time, it's not a battle, it's an union that respects its varying qualities and defaults of each identity. therefore, g-dragon ain't performing to become a deity but only to honor the life force by spreading wise messages, accepting flaws and embracing imperfections and transcending into his saving philosophy — peace and simplicity and the irrevocable ebb of limitations. it's about forging balance (g-dragon and kwon jiyong) instead of escaping humanness. it's possible to conclude that transcendance gets another notion since kwon jiyong's creative — his transcendance's unique, it's the acceptance of himself, unlike many others who ditch away the reconciliation with the self to perform for the masses' hungry/judgemental eyes.
he's already the king, the celebrity of celebrities, the legend, appreciating existence with its flows and surprises, and his rank's enough to introduce newish projects. it commences with a monumental return, addressed to VIPS for patiently waiting — eulogizing the power of his influence — typical boyish flirting with romantic intents — and the lachrymose twists of a relationship doomed from the very start by naming the female lover a "drama queen". all this in the order, re-confirming that he's back on tracks, familiarly longing to give appreciations then concentrating on offering light and yet not unnoticed references to his past masterpices like untitled and the name of his group (untitled, big bang ect...)
but then, his album's title oddly reminisces me of COUP D'ÉTAT's denounciations and visual meanings, exhibiting again his never-ending and irreplaceable motto ( yes, i prefer to see his trademark or logo as a motto ) "peaceminusone".
the wrecking ball that acts like a pendulum, swinging and hitting the walls kwon jiyong created for so long to protect his image and real authenticity against what's roaming outdoors ( paparazzis, h.rsh criticisms, rumors of scandal ), he's facing the inner turmoils while embodying the witness of his lento transformation the moment he's obliged to resolve his personal conflicts. the ladies wearing crimson dresses hiding behind trees embody the haunting flashbacks of his past trammels to become the impactful celebrity, like taunting phantoms in his garden waiting for opportunities to deepen in his never-healing red wound or another portrayal of blind fans who only appreciate masterpieces without genuinely understanding their significances or obliviously listening without knowing hardships of a celebrity and pressure of expectations — between him still followed by the ladies with obsidian garnments who covet to go past barriers ( acting like the wrecking ball ) meant to safeguard the public image he built/is forced to uphold — either trapped in the weight of fame or not hankering for communications with those who yearn for the artist, but not for the private soul who longs for understandings or liberty. they kept haunting like the red wound and the gaping dreadfulness of kwon jiyong ( michael jackson's ghost's lyrics offer profound inputs about brutal handiworks of envious viewers or those desiring to approach the famous star ).
tree of life's condition's the unfortunate outcome of enduring ro.gh treatments between unwavering expectations, the fear of not impressing, tune of disappointments in lectures or between advices to excel more ( often wordlessly found in the eyes or gestures ), ins.lts in criticisms very demoralizing and the possibility of erring too much until he's haggard and lounging against tree while rotten apples lie on the ground, as if life turns into abysmal blackness, especially with the decorum like the somber background ( time's irrevelant, as if frozen, maybe hitting at the celebrity always preoccupied with immortalizing his works that time's a forgotten notion, this worsening tree's condition — it's worth noting the wrecking ball's pendulum of a horloge is the only object moving — time's maybe getting slower when the artist's health's worrisome ), the posture's a saddening resignation but the facial expression's another perspective ( unique insistence of rebellion ), this leading to his aim : transcendance after recognizing what's erring and finding the medicine while offering glimpses of what's brewing/happening. the giants pots simply display how sound becomes money with "peaceminusone" marks ( alchemical process ) embellishing them as direct praise to his growing reputation thanks to his artworks, but kwon jiyong remains trapped in an electr*c chair but it's a makeup chair, again the repetitive loop of a celebrity preparing himself for cameras, tied – forcing the artist into a mandatory stilnness for makeup and the irrevocable obedience towards instructions for accomplishments within the korean industry, enveloped by the whiteness and blackness as if swinging between those ones ( that's why his gestures and moves complete each other, frustated and complaining with his mouth opening like a raging person/dog and wanting to get rid of ties but also electrocuted due to his body often struggling, reinforcing how unfair's the weight of expectations despite the success and trophies — the money's boiled by the accumulation of the celebrity's different reactions like the obvious stress and the obligatory professionalism to focus more on his pieces, he's imprisoned plus attentive — the room's not welcoming, suitable for loneliness, perhaps d*try with greasepaint and ink streaming down and blemishing the floor, portraying the lento dec*ying and exhausting preparations to impress audiences )
then walls filled with "haculla's drawings" with faces and eyes ( kwon jiyong's vast knowledge in artistry ), all probing at the standing and blindfolded or half-covered face of kwon jiyong, as if "standing on business" is his message, but also reminding others his popularity as the king. the blindfoldment, unlike the ghost-like ladies following him everywhere, is defiance and shield, avoiding what's happening outside of his vicinity, not bestowing any importance to flashing lights or media reports, directly announcing to others that he's the king, but unfortunately the high-ranking artist's thr*atened by the masses, utilizing his equipments like the veil to display two sides of his ongoing rebellion : people'll recognize his face if he veils his eyes to dodge their unnecessary h*rrasments, but the other's revealing his piercing gaze as if challenging or exclaiming "i see you, i confront you" — again, the public interest's... simply the object. g-dragon's the phenomenal genius, the inspirational model, the all-consuming center, regularly facing life-altering h*rshness but also irrevocable admirations like the painting on the wall of a museum for all to see. he lies exhausted, internally affected, similar to a m.rdered raven, and since blackness and whiteness are important, it's like a puddle of blo*d, mashed against the wall, tarnished but also leaving a print of his creativity's monumentalism — a sculpture glued to walls ( melanie martinez's show and tell proffers better inputs about fans disr*specting their celebrities' boundaries plus the unceasing demands target health until the artist succumbs ). it's right and wrong, the price of his sacr.fices, urging to please everyone at the cost of his healthiness. then homogenous masks devoid of real emotion like art deco, it can relate to "life's a masquerade party, and i attended with my real face" ( frank kafka's quote ) but also the likeness, everyone got costumes and masks and "personality disguises" or reminding others that as the king, everyone ought to follow his modish trends, copying him, innuendos of his popularity and its advantages/benefits, but the other part lies in discarding his mask since "he attends with his real face" — it's overarching, and tears glisten masks, breaking the spell, not allowing to mollify the public with the delusional "perfection" that never existed ( a honorable return to kwon jiyong's peaceminusone's lessons ) — life's not always white and black, other colors will pass threshold of reality, and his black face's about the despair plus the conviction in resisting against the system, embracing his authenticity, and starting his own revolution — a transcendance, fighting off irrevelance by letting the black ink on the ground without moving, fully determined to rebel against the poor inconveniences of artists, the foreboding of many who thrive for recognition — he's already victorious, not overshadowed, golden teeth as "medals".
g-dragon's large creativity in this art-film-like music video's astounding, his resentment present to oppose what's delaying his vulnerability after facing the public reactions like general b*cklashes or unnecessary rumors to be entertained by dramas for weeks at the cost of the t*rgeted famous personality's anx*ety. people can say it's rebirth, but it's the freedom limited by paparazzis ( or current trainers responsible for the evolution of an artist or unhinged fans only here to observe accomplishments and willing to leave the moment all fall apart ) that emerges to regain its seat, its throne. the artist's no longer jailed by "slavish martydrom of time" or the "public gaze", the wrecking ball offers another landscape after breaking the walls and not the persona or the identity, but to widen perspectives and offering another horizon for the new revolutionary aspect of the humanness — transcendance, it's acceptance, not the desperate pursuit of eternal youth, or immortal beauty, or absolute perfection — exaltation is the divine peace mortals cannot attain, therefore the betterment is to embrace what naturally shapes humanness and not gazing upon the abyss to drown but to confrontially march with the intention of exploring, rebunking and most importantly learning and welcoming the personal life force dwelling within us, that's why the slave at the beginning of the music video peels off the "filthiness" or worn-out disguise, like a coiled snake liberated and moulting, before raising the dusty stone grabbed by his exhausted and yet resolute hand to throw it at the wall — act of rebellion, not giving up, paving limits and rising, the opportune moment to get free, harnessing stillness. later, kwon jiyong appears with red clothes, brave and free. his mission's done, accomplished.
this revolution's a transcendance, not in metamorphosing but accepting, regaining the needed liberty denied for years, finally king of his own thanks to his works and his voice. red's revolution, courage, sacrifice but also envy, jealousy, honoring the noble "peaceminusone", a saving grace and an unforgottable teaching in acknowledging errors, differences, the imperfection, but also the qualities necessary for a good equilibrium. it's true, g-dragon's albums remaining the continuity of his past works and the long fight to give tribute and honor the indisputable upstandingness of the persona. kwon jiyong's himself, not willing to alter what's making him continue to proudly exist, aware of future challenging occasions.
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sometimes your brain really just offers you one banger of a sentence and then that's it for the entire rest of the day. creativity expired, the ability to think has clocked out for the day, context for as to how we even get to this sentence? sorry we're all out. this one sentence is all you get.
I don't really use tumblr anymore, but i still log in time to time and come to your blog to read poetry to hopefully rekindle the dying light inside of me. I hope I'm able to write again soon for the longing is nearly unendurable. I hope you're doing well. <3
i feel what you mean so deeply. i hope that you find it (that it finds you) again so soon <3 i wanted to share this email from louise glück:
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mary oliver, ‘from this river, when i was a child, i used to drink’
[ID: “‘What, precisely, will you grieve for?’
For the river. For myself, my lost
joyfulness. For the children who will not
know what a river can be—a friend, a
companion, a hint of heaven.” end ID]
