filaments.

He knows it’s cruel, but his tone is casual when he says it. Casual as he steps past her, toward the fountain, while he desperately tries not to trip between the momentary blindness after every blink.

she  snorts  at  his  insult,  which  really  lands  less  like  a  dagger  aimed  for  the  heart  and  more  like  a  foam  dart  thrown  at  a  soft  pillow.  rolls  her  eyes  in  return. it's  funny  to  hear  other's  perceptions  of  her  out  loud.  this  one  lands  harder  than  the  previous  insult,  caught  in  between  the  fact  that  josie  knew  some  people  would  view  her  like  this  no  matter  what  —  attention-seeking,  hungry  for  an  audience  —  and  the  uncertainty  about  how  much  truth  his  sentence  contained.  “  hm,  well,  i  already  did  that,  so  i  guess  my  job's  done  ,  ”  she  replies  as  if  it  didn't  phase  her,  although  a  flicker  in  her  eyes  would  have  given  it  away.  a  good  thing  then,  that  it  seemed  he  still  couldn't  see  very  well. she  stifles  a  laugh  as  she  watches  him  make  his  way,  a  bit  ungracefully,  towards  the  fountain.  tilts  her  head  as  eyes  his  movements,  making  sure  he  doesn't  actually  fall  into  the  fountain  or  something.  however  tempting  it  was  to  make  the  image  a  reality,  she  would  rather  not  make  the  school  newspaper  headlines  with  that  one. “  surprised  no  one  tried  to  follow  you  and  make  sure  you  don't  blow  anything  up.  ”   

josie’s words hit sharper than ale wanted to admit, like a paper cut right where the skin’s already thin. she wasn’t built for pretending things didn’t bother her. her face always gave her away, every emotion bleeding through before she could catch it. mouth pressed into a tight line, tongue ticking against the inside of her cheek as a flicker of irritation burned behind her ribs. the air seemed to hum for a second, cooler, heavier ⎯⎯ an unintentional response, her control slipping just enough to echo her mood. “ no one in their right mind would hope to spend more time with— ” she stopped herself, breath catching mid - sentence. there it was, that instinct to match bite for bite, to make herself hurt less by making someone else hurt too. that was josie’s way, not hers. so she swallowed the rest of that sentence, eyes dropping on the ground as she inhaled slow, forcing down the heat crawling up her chest. she wasn’t that person. she refused to be. when she finally looked back up, her smile was taut and resigned, a little too polished to be real. “ … looking forward to it. ” a lie, maybe, but one she could live with. eyes met the other’s for half a second longer than they should’ve, something fragile flickering there before she broke the gaze entirely. there were so many things she could’ve said. buried words built from anger, from sadness. but she didn’t. instead, she just adjusted the strap of her bag again and took a small step back. turns out, the distance felt safer than honesty.

when  the  air  shifted,  josie  didn't  flinch  —  she  had  been  taught  well  enough  to  never  show  her  cards  like  that.  instead  she  waited,  watching  the  shadows  flicker  across  alejandra's  face.  sometimes,  she  wondered  if  what  she  was  doing  was  the  real  her  —  picking  a  fight,  prodding  a  bruise  just  so  it  won't  heal.  the  josie  she  presented  to  the  world  would  have  apologized  months  ago,  placated  her  hurt,  let  the  wound  scar  and  keep  quiet.  but  maybe  this  was  what  ale  deserved  —  the  real  her,  the  her  that  she  was  afraid  to  show,  the  her  she  wasn't  sure  exactly  existed  at  all.  when  ale  stops  herself  mid-sentence,  then  recovers  in  the  kind  of  thinly-veiled  politeness  josie  was  used  to  giving  out,  the  corners  of  her  lips  twitch.  “  you  can  say  it,  you  know.  ”  her  voice  slides  out  deadpan.  “  no  one  in  their  right  mind  would  hope  to  spend  more  time  with  you.  ”  she  finishes  the  sentence,  with  a  tinge  of  mockery  to  her  voice.  she  purses  her  lips  a  little,  nods  to  herself,  like  she's  satisfied  that  she  finally  saw  a  sliver  of  what  ale  never  said.  “  if  that's  how  you  really  feel.  ”  the  wedge  she's  driving  digs  itself  into  the  earth,  splits  the  ground  fresh  in  two,  a  gaping  divide  widens  further,  and  maybe  it's  the  only  way  she  can  keep  herself  together.  no  one  in  their  right  mind  would  hope  to  spend  more  time  with  you.  because  that  was  the  fear,  wasn't  it?  the  reason  she  could  only  keep  up  that  veil  for  so  long  before  it  fell  away  and  ale  came  to  that  very  conclusion?  it  seemed  it  didn't  matter,  no  matter  what  she  did.  perhaps  the  end  was  always  going  to  be  like  this.  she  steps  back,  mirrors  the  smile,  lets  her  eyes  crinkle  at  its  corners.  “  looking  forward  to  it,  ”  she  replies,  an  emphasis  on  every  word.  she  pushed  her  way  out  the  door.  down  the  hallway,  she  felt  something  in  her  crack.

josie  couldn’t  have  been  much  older  than  his  own  daughter.  soren  and  sigrid  had  made  sure  that  signe  never  thought  of  herself  as  less - than,  never  thought  that  her  abilities  were  less  useful  or  dangerous  or  special.  his  wife,  growing  up,  had  been  instilled  with  a  self  doubt  that  still  bubbled  to  the  surface  at  times.  søren’s  abilities  had  been  nurtured  by  his  parents,  despite  them  not  being  fully  understood  ;  it  was  what  every  young  gifted  person  deserved,  and  without  their  daughter  at  vanguardia  he  instead  put  that  attention  into  the  students.  whether  they  signed  up  for  his  classes  or  not.  “i  promise.  you  didn’t  hurt  me.  it’s  an  incredible  ability,”  søren  gestured  to  josie’s  hands  and  offered  her  a  smile,  “you  could  do  a  lot  of  good  with  that.  you  know,  even  i  still  get  overwhelmed  at  the  beginning  of  every  year.  there’s  the  worry  that  nobody  will  take  your  classes,  the  influx  of  new  students  …  everyone  feels  so  vulnerable,  the  students  and  the  professors.”  there  was  no  animosity  in  his  tone,  no  anger  in  the  way  that  he  spoke  with  her.  søren  was  a  father  above  everything  else  —  his  position  as  a  professor,  as  a  doctor,  was  secondary.  “a  bit  of  time  away  from  everything  is  good  for  everyone.  if  you  need  somewhere  to  unwind,  if  you  ever  need  a  second  of  quiet,  my  classroom  is  always  open.”

josie  offers  a  small  smile,  a  real  one.  “i  don't  know…  i  know  they  always  say  that  kind  of  thing,  that  here  we  can  make  a  difference,  but…”  she  trails  off,  trying  to  find  the  words.  professor  holmström had  been  nothing  but  kind  to  her  while  she  had  been  at  vanguardia.  she  owed  him  some  portion  of  the  truth  that  lay  in  her.  “i  don't  know.  i  guess  i've  just  never  thought  about  what  happens  after  i  leave  here.”  she's  looking  down  at  the  pointed  toes  of  her  heels,  taps  them  together  once,  like  she's  a  little  kid  again,  sitting  on  a  bench  outside  waiting  for  her  parents  to  come  out  from  a  party.  back  then,  the  whole  world  once  felt  like  it  was  splayed  out  before  her,  like  ripened  fruit  that  dangled  within  reach.  now  it  seemed  like  only  one  path  remained,  an  apple  already  plucked  before  she  could  take  it  herself,  buds  of  what  could  have  been  fallen  to  the  dirt  at  her  feet.  and  yet,  his  words  echo  in  her  brain  again.  you  could  do  a  lot  of  good  with  that.  did  he  see  a  path  that  she  didn't?  “i'll  probably  take  you  up  on  that.”  she  meant  it.  his  gentle  invitation  held  more  weight  than  she  could  convey,  but  she  hoped  that  he  understood. “thank  you,  professor.”

"My goodness, that is quite a light you have there."

if  josie  could  make  a  list  of  the  top  ten  people  she  would  not  have  liked  to  come  around  the  corner  at  the  moment  that  she  made  the  irrational  decision  to  throw  her  light  across  the  courtyard,  the  dean  would  definitely  be  up  there.  she  didn't  hold  anything  particularly  against  the  dean,  but  she  knew  that  her  parents  must  be  in  contact  with  her.  “  um,  yeah…  sorry  again,  dean  rhodes.  you're  okay,  right?  ”  she  asked  again,  eyebrows  raised  in  concern. as  much  as  vanguardia  felt  like  her  own  personal  escape,  around  the  dean  she  had  to  hold  her  tongue,  put  on  her  performance.  she  clasps  her  hands  together,  stands  ever  so  straighter.  “  it  won't  happen  again.  ”

the  energy  of  orientation  week  still  buzzed  at  the  edges  as  students  found  their  pace  amongst  their  class  schedules.  josie  had  found  the  prior  week  anything  but  orienting,  but  now  in  the  rhythm  of  classes,  it  was  like  the  weight  was  disappearing,  little  by  little.  with  a  break  in  her  schedule,  she's  wandering  the  halls,  peering  into  rooms,  about  to  give  up  and  head  to  the  courtyard  —   when  she  spots  ryan.  she  doesn't  hesitate  to  walk  up  to  him,  smile  spread  across  her  face,  amused  at  him  sitting  in  the  corner  with  a  book.  “  c'mon,  you  can't  make  room  for  me?  ”  she  jokingly  pouts,  batting  her  eyes  before  she  breaks  into  a  laugh. ryan  was  one  of  the  few  people  on  campus  whose  presence  was  like  the  glow  of  a  hearth  in  midwinter,  warm  and  inviting,  someone  whom  with  she  could  let  the  facade  fall.  she  finds  a  chair  to  pull  over  and  sit  next  to  him,  leans  near  to  peer  at  the  pages  before  him.  “  what  are  you  reading  this  time?  anything  good?  ”  she  asks.  “  i  just  got  a  reading  assignment  already…  has  to  be  better  than  that,  i  hope.  ”

They could count on both hands to how many people they were the villain of their stories -- though even then, Paloma did not think themselves so important. So treacherous or so bad. However, they knew that in front of Josie, they had done harm and there was no way that they would rectify that harm or make up for the time lost due to the choice made to be the one that leaves. Even as their footsteps go closer, the cigarette in mouth, noticing the beautifully engraved lighter ( there was nothing in Josie's life that didn't at least appear beautiful, that much was true ), which they take with their hand to light their own cigarette with as that same hand plays with the item given to them. Even that was a kindness. "What am I doing out here? Don't YOU need to keep up appearances?" A drag, they take, blowing it in the opposite direction of Josie, their eyes not meeting the others but continuing to finnick with the lighter and inspect it all too closely. "Pretty sure there's an after party happening soon. Can't take up all my energy kissing the asses of the faculty. Gotta do that during the actual school year." A pause, another drag, before they ask, "you have a good summer, Josephine?"

josie  watches  the  smoke  rise,  curl  into  the  air,  and  disappear.  eyes  drop  to  paloma's  hands  turning  over  her  lighter.  “  appearances,  ”  she  echoes,  the  word  acid  on  her  tongue.  she  scoffs.  “  so  nice  of  you  to  be  looking  out  for  me.  didn't  know  you  still  cared  that  much.  ”  she's  used  to  this  at  least  —  putting  on  a  false  bravado  when  everything  inside  aches.  but  the  ache  quickly  sharpens  into  something  that  burns  at  the  back  of  her  throat.  josephine.  the  jagged  edge  of  her  full  name.  a  provocation  that  makes  josie  chew  the  inside  of  her  cheek  to  prevent  herself  from  saying  anything  that  would  compromise  her  appearances.  she  rolls  her  eyes  as  she  holds  her  hand  out  to  retrieve  her  lighter.  “ just  cheery.  travel  the  world,  perform  for  thousands,  some  beach  time.  wonderful,  really,  ”   she  replies  with  a  sudden  warmth,  smile  spread  across  her  face,  a  switch  flipped.  there  was  a  time  where  she  thought  she  wouldn't  have  to  do  that  with  paloma.  “  was  yours  just  as  pleasant?  ”

she sensed it before she rounded the corner.  but it was gone as quickly as it approached her.  her gaze shifted from where the light had disappeared to josie’s apologetic face.  “it’s okay,”  she said,  soft as ever.  “i’m fine,”  she added,  quiet and reassuring.  she wasn’t just saying it,  either.  it was a simple fact.  she had instinctively closed her eyes.  “really.”  the subtle hum of powers in the distance a constant.  it wasn’t just josie’s–  this was vanguardia,  after all.  but for the moment,  val’s focus was only on her friend,  wide smile spreading across her features at the sight of her.  “when did you arrive?”

josie  hadn't  realized  how  tense  she  was  until  she  felt  her  shoulders  relax,  even  the  weight  of  the  summer  on  her  chest  releasing.  seeing  val  felt  like  coming  home  with  the  fireplace  lit  in  midwinter,  the  same  familiar  hug  of  warmth  after  a  cold  spell.  she  smiled  in  relief  at  her  friend's  confirmation,  walks  up  to  her.  “  to  school?  just  a  few  days  ago.  i  wanted  to  come  earlier,  but  i  had  a  last  minute  schedule…  ”  she  purses  her  lips  at  the  memory  of  her  parents  asking  —  no,  telling  —  her  to  do  just  one  more  show.  “  as  for  the  party,  like,  half  an  hour  ago.  but  honestly,  i'm  already  ready  to  go,  ”  she  replies  with  a  laugh.  “  what  about  you  ?  when  did  you  get  here  ?  ”

he huffs out a laugh, though it's quiet and quick. " yeah, you're welcome. light of salvation or whatever the fuck they say, " it comes out like a tease, though it's fleeting as her genuine concern brings a small but reassuring smile to his face. toby shifts his weight, shoulder gently brushing the wall behind him, while his gaze moves between her and the distant party. " oh, you know me ... an absolute party animal. but no, no i get it. too many people for sure. i can only handle so much of it too, especially when it's already loud enough up here, " he adds with a tap to his temple, agreeing with her ; resonating with her. it almost made him feel a little confused, that it was so easy for him to feel comfort around someone he used to hate being around. " what'd you do over the break that's got you like this? " maybe he was pushing it by asking the question again, but toby could hardly help himself from it. in fact, it almost became a mission for him to understand how her brain worked, his curiosity always got the best of him. " not that it's my business but ... it's just the two of us out here and i've got all night, really. i'm not much of a sleeper. "

“  really  ?  ”  she  murmurs  more  to  herself,  eyebrows  raising  at  his  sympathy.  she  found  herself  surprised  to  learn  that  he  could  relate  to  her,  more  surprised  to  learn  that  she  wanted  to  understand  more  about  him.  but  before  she  can  turn  it  towards  him,  his  next  question  follows.  she  had  braced  herself  for  it  after dancing  around  the  subject.  “  a  curious  way  to  spend  your  night,  but  i  appreciate  it.  ” a  sharp  inhale  as  she  moves  to  the  wall  he's  beside  and  leans  her  back  against  it,  splays  her  fingers  across  the  cool  stone  like  it  could  ground  her.  “ it's  not  that  serious,  though…  i'm  making  a  bigger  deal  of  it  than  i  need  to,  ”  she  disclaims,  looks  up  at  the  moon  that  observed  them  apathetically.  it  suddenly  felt  inane  to  be  complaining  about  something  like  this,  even  more  inane  to  be  telling  this  to  toby. “  but  have  you  ever  just  felt  like…  like  life  is  a  hamster  wheel  and  you  just  keep  running  and  running,  but  you  don't  know  how  to  stop  ?  ”  a pause. she  snorts  at  herself.  “  that  sounds  stupid.  ” her problems  suddenly  felt  so  small,  especially  at  the  institute.  she  slides  her  gaze  back  to  his.  “  i  was  just  travelling  a  lot.  it  barely  felt  like  a  break  at  all,  i  guess.  ”

she shifted her weight from one foot to the other. she didn’t owe the femme an answer, not after months of silence that had stretched too long and too wide. still, she was the one who’d spoken first. walking away now would’ve made her look like a coward, and she’d promised herself she wasn’t afraid. “ uh … advanced natural studies. again, ” she admitted, biting the inside of her cheek before continuing. “ crisis management, martial conditioning. ” her voice trailed off, the last word catching slightly in her throat. ale hated how small she sounded, anxious instead of nonchalant. her gaze wandered for a moment ⎯⎯ over the desks, the windows, the faint smudge of dry erase marker still on the board. it all looked painfully normal, yet there was a heaviness that clung to the air, something in the space between them that used to be filled with easy laughter. when she finally looked back at josie, her expression softened, if only by a fraction. “ what about you ? ” she asked, trying to sound casual. she wasn’t sure what she wanted from this conversation. closure ? a clean break ? or just proof that they could still stand to be in the same room. after all, it seems they’re gonna have to be around each other a lot more than they wanted this year.

a  scoff  escapes  from  her,  not  precisely  at  alejandra,  but  moreso  at  the  universe's  conspiracy  against  her.  because  of  course,  the  person  it  hurt  to  be  around  would  not  just  be  in  one  class  this  year,  or  two…  but  three.  “  great.  ”  it  comes  out  drier  than  she'd  like,  but  it  escapes  from  her  before  she  can  veil  it  in  any  kind  of  sweetness.  it's  here  when  the  distance  feels  sharpest,  when  each  word  feels  like  it's  squeezed  out  of  her.  their  friendship  was  but  sand  at  the  bottom  of  an  hourglass,  and  josie  hesitated  to  even  touch  it,  let  alone  turn  it  over.  where  would  it  lead,  anyways?  “  i'm  also  taking  advanced  natural  studies.  ” a  beat.  “ …  and  martial  conditioning.  ”  her  voice  comes  out  flat,  sounds  distant  even  to  her.  forces  a  smile.  “  so  i  guess  we'll  be  seeing  a  lot  of  each  other.  ”  josie  should  leave.  she  should  live  with  the  decision  that  she  had  made,  and  the  decision  that  ale  had  made  in  response.  and  yet.  it  hurt  that  she  could  not  even  pinpoint  the  exact  moment,  that  ale  hadn't  even  tried  to  fight  for  their  friendship.  standing  in  front  of  her,  she  wanted  to  say  something.  what  happened  to  us?  i'm  sorry.  i  miss  you.  but  instead  all  that  comes  out  —  “  i'm  sure  that's  just  what  you  were  hoping  for.  ”

it never took toby long to wander away from events in search of momentary isolation, lighting up a joint in secret and treating himself to a few puffs. it wasn't that he didn't have fun at these things, he just had a hard time sitting still for too long. toby did tend to prefer smaller crowds, it was easier for him to avoid getting into any trouble when less people were around. with his hood pulled up over his head, he wandered into the courtyard and tucked the joint between his lips, too focused on attempting to ignite his lighter to notice much about his surroundings. a very light but high - pitched gasp is pulled from the lad at the sudden orb bursting beside his head, body quick to react by lunging backward. his eyes grow wide but his vision is obstructed by the remaining bands of colour, which caused him to rub at his eyes for a few moments. " hey, i'm not religious but i feel like i just saw god for real, " toby stated dramatically, though his tone lacks any hostility and fills instead with jest, shown in the smile that begins to curve his lips. it was always moments like these that toby knew were the reason he started to see her beyond someone that simply got under his skin. there was something much deeper to understand when it came to josie, and he wouldn't rest until he figured it out. " pretty sure i can still see but ask me again when these spots in my vision go away, " he adds, reaching out a moment as if he could swipe them away. " i mean it did help wake me up which was nice, if nothing else. what's got you throwing light orbs at innocent walls ? "

a  laugh  escapes  from  her  —  a  genuine  one,  not  the  one  she  constructed  for  show  —  at  his  reaction.  “  good  to  know  my  light  is  useful  for  missionaries,  if  i  need  to  switch  careers.  ”  she  watches  his  hand  reach  out,  stepping  closer  to  give  a  little  wave  of  her  hand  in  his  line  of  sight,  as  if  she  too  could  help  clear  his  vision.  “  sorry  about  that,  ”  she  apologizes  again,  but  the  tension  has  already  left  her  shoulders,  knot  in  her  chest  beginning  to  unravel  in  microscopic  movements.  had  it  been  two  years  ago,  the  sight  of  him  would  have  only  made  the  knot  wound  in  on  itself  further,  having  to  ready  herself  for  some  biting  comment,  maybe.  but  they  weren't  in  first  year  anymore,  and  something  in  josie  had  been  shifting  slowly,  like  the  gentle  click  of  a  lock's  mechanisms  falling  open.  she  could  only  attribute  it  to  the  past  couple  times  they'd  run  into  each  other.  once  right  before  break,  once  at  the  beginning  of  orientation  week,  at  times  when  the  rest  of  vanguardia  was  sleeping.  she  hadn't  told  anyone  else  about  her  issues  sleeping  lately.  a  secret  borne  out  of  necessity  —  she  wasn't  meant  to  appear  weak.  “  ‘  wake  you  up  ’  ?  party  too  boring  for  you  ?  ”  she  asks  with  a  quirk  of  her  eyebrow,  eyes  falling  to  the  joint  in  his  hand.  really,  she's  buying  time  to  form  an  answer  to  his  question.  “  i  was  just  trying  to  clear  my  head…  a  lot  of  people  over  there  ”  —  she  tilts  her  head  towards  the  party,  chooses  her  words  carefully  —  “  and  i  just…  needed  some  time  to  actually  think.  well,  i  guess  i  wasn't  thinking.  ”  she  huffs  a  short  laugh  then,  and  something  about  him  knowing  of  her  recent  insomnia  allowed  more  truth  to  escape.  “  the  break  must've  made  my  brain  go  a  little  all  over  the  place.  ”

she  frowns.  “  making  the  lights  every  time  is  a  lot  of  work,  a  lot  of  energy…  it's  easier  to  just  have  a  light  source  to  begin  with.  ”  josie's  not  sure  why  she's  explaining  this  all  to  lyndsy,  but  she  realizes  she  had  probably  never  explained  much  about  her  ability  at  all  to  her  before.  did  she  even  know  how  lyndsy's  really  worked?  “  it'll  just  be  on  my  side,  and  whenever  you  want  full  lights  out,  it'll  be  lights  out.  promise.  ” she  says  diplomatically,  a  glance  down  at  the  lights.  “  but  if  you'd  prefer,  i  won't  put  them  up.  ”   she  had  always  been  one  for  ambience,  but  she'd  rather  not  start  any  conflict  with  lyndsy.  the  tension  between  them  was  just  as  uncomfortable,  and  she'd  rather  not  add  onto  it.  but  the  door  to  conversation  is  ajar,  and  something  in  josie  tries  to  push  it  a  little  further  open.  “  um,  what  have  you  been  up  to,  over  break  ?  ”

“  i  mean  i  think  that's  what  they  want  you  to  feel.  whether  that  message  gets  across  is  a  whole  other  matter.  ” she  glanced  at  the  first  years,  evident  by  the  bright  eyes  that  gazed  at  the  institute,  an  energy  that  carried  them  into  the  first  week  of  classes  before  they  realized  exactly  what  they  were  in  for.  she  remembered  her  first  year  colored  the  same  way  —  but  perhaps  she  was  more  in  the  minority  than  in  the  majority.  terrifying,  he  had  said.  she  had  always  thought  that  for  her,  being  here  was  better  than  being  out  there,  but  then  again,  depending  on  what  the  institute  wanted,  her  power  wasn't  useful  in  comparison  to  others,  to  his.  “  for  the  past  two  years,  they've  always  had  something  pretty  good.  you  can  trust  in  that  pattern.  i'd  bet  you  money  on  it.  ”  she  offers  with  equal  seriousness.  she  tilts  her  head  at  his  last  sentence.  gaze  moving  from  her  food  to  him.  she  lightens  her  tone,  smile  still  soft.  “  i  thought  you  said  the  appetizers  were  good.  what  was  so  disappointing  ?  ” 

Taken aback by the burst of light, not by it's blinding quality but by it's familiarity, Paloma does not speak at first. Of course, when they had been needing a break from the spurious affair inside, they'd run into someone they'd been running away from. The halls of Vanguardia offered little escape from the past, no matter how far away it was. It was a reason Paloma had a hard time staying in once place. "Nah, actually, I can't see shit." The words were not said harshly but on the borderline of sarcasm and levity -- a joke that fell flat, something just as familiar as the light itself but without the warmth that lightheartedness brought. It was not meant to be cold or callous but as Paloma took out a cigarette to light, having let the silence hang between them as they packed the carton in their hand, they realized it could've been interpreted as such. Good. Let Josephine do whatever she wanted with it. "Got a light?" Another joke, though this time, Paloma was proud of themselves for it, a stark distinction from the words said prior. "Least you can do after almost BLINDING me."

of  course,  in  a  moment  where  all  josie  wanted  was  peace,  the  universe  would  grace  her  with  the  presence  of  paloma.  seeing  them  again  left  her  frozen  in  place,  feet  glued  to  the  cobblestone.  remembers  how  it  felt  to  splay  a piece  of  her  open  and  press  it  carefully  into  paloma's  hands  before  she  crushed  it,  left  it  at  josie's  feet.  the  reply  falls  icily  to  josie's  ears  and  her  worries  dissipate,  replaced  by  a  tightness  in  her  chest.  she  scans  paloma's  gaze,  as  if  still  searching  for  a bygone  warmth  she knows is locked to the past.  “  ha,  funny,  ”  she  replies,  sarcasm  bleeding.  and  yet,  she  doesn't  have  the  heart  to  just  turn  away  from  them.  she  rustles  through  her  purse  for  a  lighter,  fingers  wrap  around  the  cold  metal  engraved  with  a  butterfly.  finds  the  wherewithal  to  move  closer  to  paloma  and  hold  it  out.  “  here.  and  i  said  i  was  sorry.  what  are  you  doing  out  here,  anyways  ?  ”

Nora was always prone to wondering off, especially at Vanguardia where all of the faculty basically had their eyes on her at all times thanks to her brother. She was on her way back when she saw her friend Josie from afar, just ahead of her; no surprise to Nora of course, she knew Josie hated such big event. " Holy crap!" Nora leaped as she froze in her spot and dodged down. "I almost lost my head forget my eyesight. " She exclaimed as she stood back up " I wonder if I could grow my head back if that was case, oh gosh can you imagine?" she rambled as she stood before her friend.

her  eyebrows  raised  at  her  friend  in  amusement.  “  you  are  okay,  though,  right  ?  ”  she  asks  to  confirm,  gaze  flitting  across  nora's  face.  “  sorry,  again…  but  i  don't  think  my  light  has  any  mass  to  it,  you  know?  so  hopefully  you  wouldn't  have  lost  your  head.  ”  she  could  at  least  trust  nora  not  to  tell  anyone  about  her  impulsive  decision.  if  it  had  been  someone  else,  she  would  have  to  fear  a  rumor  catching  about  josephine  yoon  nearly  beheading  some  first  year,  or  what  have  you.  in  reality,  josie  thought  she  could  only  play  so  much  with  her  ability  because  compared  to  someone  like  nora,  the  consequences  were  on  a  whole  different  order  of  magnitude.  “  but  you  still  need  your  brain  in  that  case,  right?  let's  make  sure  we  keep  that  in  tact,  ”  she  replies  with  a  smile.  “  were  you  headed  somewhere?  ” 

his  words  make  her  scoff.  “  i  said  i  was  sorry.  ”  there's  a  sharp  edge  to  her  words,  matching  his  own  tone.  she  crosses  her  arms,  matches  his  gaze  with  a  glare.  watches  his  eyes  come  back  to  focus  on  her,  hardened  with  the  same  hostility  she  reflected.  “  and  you  can  still  see,  can't  you?   maybe  the  stupid  thing  to  do  was  to  not  blind  you,  ”  she  says  under  her  breath  to  herself,  but  she  lets  it  escape  audible  enough  for  him  to  hear.  “  and  like  i  said,  i  didn't  know  anyone  else  would  even  be  coming  over  here.  it  was  pretty  empty  for  like,  the  past  half  hour.  shouldn't  you  be  at  the  welcoming  party? ”

søren  holmström  was  more  of  a  party  animal  than  his  wife,  but  it  didn’t  mean  that  he  was  going  to  celebrate  all  evening  like  some  of  the  other  professors.  he  was  aging,  and  aching,  and  a  little  beyond  all - night  benders,  and  so  instead  he  broke  away  from  the  celebrations  (  and  the  responsibility  of  keeping  the  students  in  check  )  to  enjoy  some  much  needed  fresh  air.  his  abilities  were  a  little  more  subtle  than  some  of  the  students  he  taught.  for  the  most  part  he  was  able  to  lay  low,  to  exist  beneath  the  radar,  and  for  forty  five  years  he  had  done  just  that  ;  it  still  caught  him  by  surprise  when  he  saw  students  so  brazenly  using  their  gifts  without  concern.  “oh,  don’t  you  worry,”  he  waved  his  hand  dismissively  and  hobbled  over  to  the  fountain,  taking  a  seat  on  the  edge  beside  josie.  “i’m  getting  old  anyway.  my  eyesight  is  starting  to  fail.  sometimes  i  wonder  whether  i  should  try  and  perform  lasik  on  myself,  but  i’m  not  sure  i  want  to  take  that  risk.  besides,  the  missus  thinks  i  look  handsome  when  i  wear  my  glasses.”  sometimes  søren  wondered  whether  he  was  more  of  a  student  than  a  professor.  meeting  students  at  their  level  was  the  most  natural  thing  in  the  world.  “take  a  seat.  take  a  breath.  nobody  is  hurt.  was  the  party  a  bit  too  much  for  you,  too ? ”

she  watches  professor  holmström  carefully,  trying  to  assess  if  he's  angry  at  first,  but  no  scolding  comes  forth.  not  that  she  expected  him  to  yell  at  her,  but  the  instinct  had  surged  forth  to  correct  mistakes  instantly,  to  say  the  right  thing  to  smooth  things  over.  the  corners  of  her  lips  turn  upward,  listening  to  his  rambling.  “  lasik  on  yourself  does  sound  scary,  ”   she  murmurs  in  response  as  she  heeds  his  words  and  sits  back  down  at  the  fountain.  takes  a  breath.  “  you're  sure  you're  okay  ?  ”  she  asks  one  more  time.  josie  knew  that  there  were  more  dangerous  powers  than  hers  here,  which  made  her  feel  ridiculous  sometimes,  when  they  were  supposed  to  be  here,  honing  abilities  to  be  something  useful.  all  she'd  done  in  her  life  was  make,  what,  pretty  lights?  and  now,  she  could  add  almost  blinding  someone  to  her  resume.  here,  in  some  ways  she  felt  more  unremarkable  than  remarkable,  and  she  much  preferred  it  that  way.  “  normally  crowds  are  fine…  i  think  i  just  spent  my  time  with  too  many  people  over  the  break.  ”  the  memory  of  the  holidays  —  the  press  of  people  asking  for  her  picture,  pens  held  out  in  anticipation  of  her  autograph,  bright  lights  of  cameras.  she  offers  a  small  smile.  “  i'm  okay  though.  sorry  again  about  the…  ”  waves  her  hand  to  gesture  where  she  had  thrown  the  ball  of  light.  “  i  wasn't  really  thinking,  and  that's  on  me.  it  won't  happen  again.  ”