sin of excess

                 ❝  well…  ❞  kagami blinked.  ❝  nice to meet you, i                 guess?  ❞ why was this person saying sorry? 

All he knows right now is that he needed to get away.

          kagami jumped in his own skin the moment that lambo had abruptly stood           up and walked out the door without so much as a goodbye or whatever. the           tealette blinked as he watched lambo’s retreating figure, shock his only           response, until he snapped back to reality. after he nodded a quick apology           to the staff that was staring at them - him - he walked out and tried searching           for any sign of the bovino. nada. despite it, he started walking towards the           first direction his feet took him, running as if his life depended on it.           did he say something that ultimately offended lambo? was it about the person           that lambo talked about before? hadn’t he apologized? was it because of - god           forbid - the cherry blossoms? what would he have against pink flowers? there           was literally nothing in kagami’s head that properly explained why lambo had           to fly off like that, and he could also find no reason as to why he went after the           ravenette. yet he knew that he had to clarify what had happened, not only           because he was curious as to why lambo had reacted so, but also because           he felt bad for whatever he did that triggered lambo to run away.           ❝  lambo!  ❞  he didn’t care if he had no leads or if he was going in the wrong           direction but he was forever unrelenting in a chase. it was all he could do -           run around aimlessly, repeatedly calling  out to a person who probably didn’t           want anything to do with him at this point.

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      kagami was used to being abducted, tortured for information, taken      hostage for ransom from the strongest mafia famiglia, but never this.      never abducted and experimented on. he felt oh so violated. so damn       p e n e t r a t e d. he didn’t know what they wanted, who they were,      but he just wanted this to end. just wanted to diediedie. it was so      painful. what do they want from me? why are they doing this?      the only thing he knew was the feeling of losing more and more of      his sanity, his thoughts turning more and more away from his true      passion into something that screams… m u r d e r.            maybe that’s why they targeted him. because incapacitating him,      changing his mind, would not only be a huge blow to the vongola, but      because they would try to rescue him, and these people could unleash      the weapon they’ve molded.      he didn’t know if he was hallucinating or not - he knew it was just him      inside that room, chained like a common d o g, awaiting more and      more of the filthy things they planned, but there was a hazy image of      a man within the room. how odd… am i losing my mind completely?      and why was his hallucination… the mist guardian?             ❝  you should get out of here, mukuro.  ❞  he weakly muttered to      what he presumed was merely a fabricated image of his mind.

“We will stop in town to rest for the night. We cant rest again till we reach it.” He pauses and reaches in his pocket. He holds out an energy bar. Something he always has on him during his missions. Just so he doesn’t need to rest often. It is of a great help. Though he is sure that Kagami needs it for right now. No need to have him starved. Even if where they are staying is as safe as Vongola HQ.

          he had calmed down, or at least he had told himself to do so, and had even           managed to weakly chuckle at the words mukuro told him, albeit even he           could tell that it was forced. he just needed something, anything, to keep him           sane as long as they’re on the run. in reality... well, he just wanted to forget -           forget everything that happened, forget everything he ever experienced...           everything. was the experimentation on him that broke his psyche down           successful? yes, but not in the way it was supposed to. they wanted kagami           to develop into someone who would kill the moment he was triggered to do           so, and he did - but not to target tsunayoshi. he didn’t know why, but even           the hallucinations, those horrible nightmares, couldn’t fully rid of his trust in           the decimo, and he hated his captors far worse. but they were truly successful           in one thing: instilling doubt and fear in him.           doubt that he could fully trust someone, anyone, with the welfare of his           beloved older brother. fear that the vongola could compromise him at a           moment’s notice. and he will never let that happen.           ❝  i think i know that future for myself as well  ❞  after all, he’s been in the           vongola far earlier than the rest of decimo’s guardians or himself. he’s seen           that future when the arcobaleno had given them their future selves’ memories.           and the way he was in that future... kagami didn’t know what to make of it, but           he was just glad at that point that tsuna had managed to rewrite their future.           the tealette stared at te energy bar, and was only reminded of the time he had           spent in that horrible place. at some point, he had just gone on without food           or drinks, probably in an effort to just kill himself to spare himself from all           the suffering. the food in front of him almost nauseates him, though he kept           mum as he took it and quietly wrapped his hand around it, yet doing nothing           else as he kept moving. would he be able to sleep later when they get to town           too? probably not. not entirely, anyway. it has almost been ingrained in his           routine so seamlessly.

☢  five times my muse almost sends a nude, and the one time they do.

✤ - Moving/putting up their hair, showing off the back of their neck ✥ - Popping a button on their shirt, showing their chest / a bit of cleavage ✦ - Rolling up their sleeves to keep cool, showing off their forearms ❉ - Stretching their arms up, showing their midriff ❥ - Bending over in a short skirt / shorts / tight pants, showing off dat booty ❦ - Changing clothes facing away, showing off their back ❧ - Hiking up their skirt / pant leg, showing off some leg and/or thigh ❃ - Fighting with their belt for some reason, showing off some hip/waist ❂ - Scratching at a bug bite under their shirt, showing off their side ❁ - Wearing a top that’s too big for them, showing off their collarbone / shoulders ❀  - BONUS TOUCH EDITION: Asking your Muse to help put sun screen / lotion / medical salve on a wound anywhere else

      kagami was used to being abducted, tortured for information, taken      hostage for ransom from the strongest mafia famiglia, but never this.      never abducted and experimented on. he felt oh so violated. so damn       p e n e t r a t e d. he didn’t know what they wanted, who they were,      but he just wanted this to end. just wanted to diediedie. it was so      painful. what do they want from me? why are they doing this?      the only thing he knew was the feeling of losing more and more of      his sanity, his thoughts turning more and more away from his true      passion into something that screams… m u r d e r.            maybe that’s why they targeted him. because incapacitating him,      changing his mind, would not only be a huge blow to the vongola, but      because they would try to rescue him, and these people could unleash      the weapon they’ve molded.      he didn’t know if he was hallucinating or not - he knew it was just him      inside that room, chained like a common d o g, awaiting more and      more of the filthy things they planned, but there was a hazy image of      a man within the room. how odd… am i losing my mind completely?      and why was his hallucination… the mist guardian?             ❝  you should get out of here, mukuro.  ❞  he weakly muttered to      what he presumed was merely a fabricated image of his mind.

“As far as your hate for them goes. You will have a chance to get them back. I will make sure of that.” He promises. Yet he will not let him go alone.

         the escape helped him clear his head, though kagami was particularly          still disoriented and quite weak. the short pause was most appreciated,          but the question that followed wasn’t. the mere mention of the hallucinations,          the horrible images burned in his mind like an animal brand, terrified him.          without warning, they were all back - how they first started from him staring          through pools of torture of people he’s known from the vongola, and had          later transitioned to the guardians themselves dying in front of him as he          stood utterly h e l p l e s s. and the straw that broke the camel’s back was…          daiki. daiki died. T S U N A   K I L L E D   E V E R Y B O D Y.           ❝  t-tsuna… he…  ❞  he had started hyperventilating, unwittingly digging          his nails on his arms, breaking skin, his heart palpitating so hard that          kagami swore his heart could burst out of his chest any second. blood          rushed to his head, and it felt so painful.           ❝  he killed everyone. he killed him!  ❞  it was a hallucination, of course,          but the mere idea of the decimo, the man he trusted, killing everybody,          especially the person that kagami loved the most in the world, made him          vulnerable. and he couldn’t forgive, most of all, the people that made him          see those wretched images. the mere fact that it was possible - after all,          tsuna and his guardians knew the most important bargaining chip for the          informant’s loyalty to the vongola, and if things went wrong…           his body moved on its own accord as mukuro instructed him to, and only          when he promised that kagami would be able to go after those who hurt          him did he snap out of it, partially. with a weak nod, he stood up, yet he          was unmindful of his surroundings. they just needed to get out there,          whatever happens.

                 ❝  well…  ❞  kagami blinked.  ❝  nice to meet you, i                 guess?  ❞ why was this person saying sorry? 

“Best you don’t know. It’s personal.”

         oh, so he’s already stepped on forbidden territory. well, he was just trying to          test where his limitations would lie, and he didn’t expect to get everything           that easily, anyway. it was better to find what he wanted to know through his          own efforts, anyway. that was what made things more interesting... or at least          that’s what he thinks. maybe his self before his amnesia thought differently,          but he sort of doubted it - some feelings and views of his was still familiar,          after all.          ❝  sorry. i... well, it’s a habit of mine. i think.  ❞  he smiled sheepishly,          unsure if it was appropriate to use his affliction as an excuse for how rude          he was just a few moments ago. he didn’t know that trying to bring up the          third party in the whole fiasco was something that would trigger lambo,          then again he should’ve figured it out by how lambo had talked about that          detail before. he just really needed... well, wanted to know.          ❝  tell you what,  ❞  he started, setting down his drink which had just been          emptied without his conscious attention.  ❝  in exchange for telling me          about what happened and for kind of offending you, i’m gonna          repay you.  ❞  hmm, now what to offer... ❝  i can either buy you another          coffee, tell you about something you wanna know - even about me,          though i don’t think i’m that interesting - or we could go out and          see the sights. the cherry blossoms are in full bloom anyway so - ❞           he paused, blinking as his words hanged in midair. cherry blossoms?           that sounded familiar... but why? inviting someone to view them was           common, natural, but kagami hardly invited someone out anyway, but           he did invite his brother out pretty often, according to him. so maybe           he was just associating that feeling with this scenario? maybe. ❝  sorry,           i just had a moment of deja vu. ❞  he chuckled.

      kagami was used to being abducted, tortured for information, taken      hostage for ransom from the strongest mafia famiglia, but never this.      never abducted and experimented on. he felt oh so violated. so damn       p e n e t r a t e d. he didn’t know what they wanted, who they were,      but he just wanted this to end. just wanted to diediedie. it was so      painful. what do they want from me? why are they doing this?      the only thing he knew was the feeling of losing more and more of      his sanity, his thoughts turning more and more away from his true      passion into something that screams… m u r d e r.            maybe that’s why they targeted him. because incapacitating him,      changing his mind, would not only be a huge blow to the vongola, but      because they would try to rescue him, and these people could unleash      the weapon they’ve molded.      he didn’t know if he was hallucinating or not - he knew it was just him      inside that room, chained like a common d o g, awaiting more and      more of the filthy things they planned, but there was a hazy image of      a man within the room. how odd… am i losing my mind completely?      and why was his hallucination… the mist guardian?             ❝  you should get out of here, mukuro.  ❞  he weakly muttered to      what he presumed was merely a fabricated image of his mind.

“Yukimura, details.” He ushers urgently as he unlocks everything keeping the boy chained. Anything know about what had happened could be important. When the last chain falls he offers to be support for his injured comrade even if it irks him to do so.

      the clinking of the chain as they came loose reverberated though       the room, but all his eyes could focus on, despite how hard it is,       was mukuro’s dual-colored eyes. it might seem so absurd to think       so, but his familiar visage was more than comforting than the eyes       of those soulless monsters that kept him caged all this time. he just       needed to find something, anything to keep his thoughts sane for now.       even if it came in the form of vongola’s most loyalty-temperamental       guardian. anything’s better than nothing.       he wanted to cry - oh yes, he wanted to cry of relief and pain and        everything else. he was free, he didn’t care if this was something       he was just dreaming of, but he felt free. maybe he was just sleeping       back in that operating table and he was dying so he started dreaming       of being set free, but he didn’t care. he wanted to cry. yet all he did was       shiver, tremble, because he couldn’t cry. maybe they also fucked up       his emotional responses. maybe.       it was more difficult to find his voice than to hoist himself towards       the mist guardian, since he’s lost it for a good while now. either from       the endless screams of p a i n or from the helplessness and the       realization that, day after day, no one was coming for him. ❝  they were       speaking in german.  ❞  his scratched, breathy voice sounded so       foreign. and he spoke the only thing that he kept in mind every day,        every hour, every minute, every second he was trapped and treated       like some kind of animal. he couldn’t understand what they said, but he       knew how their language sounded, and that was all that mattered.      ❝  they kept... kept injecting... chemicals... hallucinations... burning      like mad... it hurts... i hate them. i  h a t e  t h e m.  ❞ was he crying      now? he didn’t know. he just felt so much h a t e. so much pain.

I will never ever judge you for what you do or don’t ship. No matter how much I dislike a ship, I will never put you down for it. They are fictional characters and are here to make you happy. If your ship makes you happy thats all that matters.

Send “..It hurts” for our muses roles to be switches

               “I’m looking for applicants for our conveniently                nonexistent lightning guardian. So, what can                you give me?”

       nobody told him that varia was coming for him again, today of all days.        but that had hardly surprised kagami anymore, since he had dealt with        the varia multiple times as a teenager. truth be told, varia needed him        more than the upper echelons of the vongola, simply because they were        the ones that needed the information about other people - targets - the        most. the main figures of the vongola just needed him to investigate        other famiglias, report on those they are allianced with, mere child’s play        compared to observing and reporting about enemies that the varia were        to take care of.        though this matter was one that he did not expect. conveniently non-        existent? what had happened to leviathan? last time he checked, xanxus        didn’t kill anyone within varia’s ranks, mainly because looking for new        members is a pain and nono ( and decimo ) would probably not want        that happening. xanxus probably doesn’t care about the latter, but kagami        knew as much that starting another war within the whole famiglia was a        risk no one wanted to take. doesn’t mean that xanxus wouldn’t stretch        his actions as far as he can go.        which brings them to the matter at hand. leviathan is... non-existent? if        xanxus couldn’t kill him... then did something else happen outside?         ❝  that depends on the exact criteria you guys need... but what        happened to leviathan? is he...?  ❞  not to say that he had any particular        interest or bond with the varia that warranted him the right to worry, but         still, he was still human, and varia was still with the vongola.

                 ❝  well…  ❞  kagami blinked.  ❝  nice to meet you, i                 guess?  ❞ why was this person saying sorry? 

Look at that he’s already finished his coffee.

        a month ago... unconsciously, kagami reached for the back of his head,         feeling the traces of the wound that he sustained after his last mission.         the mission that cost him his memories and almost his life. it was almost         an amusing coincidence that the both of them were in some pretty serious         shit just a month ago, and now they were chilling in a coffee shop as if not         one thing was wrong with the world. that, in itself, was just as amusing. such         is the life of a mafioso, it seemed.         ❝  who are they? what did they say?  ❞  those were the final few pieces of        the puzzle, and it was just like him to want all. to complete the puzzle’s image.        truthfully, he was doing this more than just to find out what he wanted to know,        it was also to familiarize himself. with his supposed identity as the unrelenting        informant. with lambo, whom he feels is someone he should know. it was his        way of trying to regain some sort of semblance in his unknown world. it hadn’t        even crossed his mind that lambo could have the wish to just bury this.