Reed's Grooves

MUST BE HANDSOME

MUST BE OVER FIVE TEN (no wait she changed her mind you may still apply for this position if you are five eight)

MUST NOT HAVE GIRLY HANDS

MUST NOT BE NAMED FRED

MUST NOT BE IMMUNE TO HER FEMININE WILES

Two grown-ass men, obviously friends but dressed like they were in two different high school cliques, were arguing, passionately about who Gerard Way was. The one wearing a Green Lantern shirt and thick-rimmed hipster glasses said that Gerard Way is the lead singer of My Chemical Romance. The other guy was wearing what I wore during my emo phase in middle school, mostly black with a skinny red tie and a grey vest, was arguing that Gerard Way was a comic book writer.

Then a third person comes up, obviously another friend as she put down a tray of drinks for the three of them, looking like she could’ve been a Kappa Nu with Elle Woods, and asks “What dumb thing are you two arguing about now?”

The two men reply. Elle Woods’ sorority sister says “They’re the same damn person, you idiots. He does both things.”

Bastard Good: You make the world better for people but in a really obnoxious way so everyone low-key hates you for it

Chaotic Dead: You set yourself on fire at the start of each session

Informed Evil: you're wearing a red cape and cackling so we kind of assume you've probably done some bad things off screen, right?

Lawful Pointless: You follow the rules of chess in every situation you find yourself in.

False Neutral: HAHA FOOLS! I WAS NO DRUID! I WAS A PALADIN ALL ALONG!

Lawful Anxious: You follow very strict laws but you don't know what those laws are or if you're breaking them.

Personal Evil: rather then making things worse for sapient life, you work to make things worse for Steve specifically. Everyone else is fine.

Centrist Neutral: "I don't support The Chained God Tharizdun breaking free and unmaking all reality but if we stop him through force we're just as bad as he is. Did you know there's actually zero difference between good and bad things?"

Sponsored Good: You provide justice, compassion and the great taste of subways sandwiches! Put in the code SMITETHESINNERS when ordering online for 20% off!

Sexy Lawful: You follow very strict rules but in such a way we kind of suspect you're getting off on it.

Chaotic Incidental: You act completely randomly but by sheer chance your actions turn out identical to if you followed very strict rules.

Theoretical Good: You want to do good things to help the world and once you stop binging Netflix you're absolutely going to.

Ugly Neutral: None of the other alignments want to hang out with you so you're neutral by default

Chaotic Meta: You pointedly refuse to follow the rules of the game you're playing.

Please respond and reblog for a large sample size.