Reece Sullivan

I kept her secret with all I did

Kept her locked up tight under heavy led

I wouldn’t mention her much not even to my friends

She was mine, alone, and I was keeping her hid

She was a good ol’ girl and I loved her, I did

.

Second loves you have will not compare

With the first you had who had not been shared

Now, perhaps you’ll tell me that’s crude and bare

But with seconds and thirds, I really couldn’t care

She was a good ol’ girl with long, brown hair

.

All I asked for all I prayed

Was to live like so for the rest of my days

And to never end and never wane

But end it did in an awful way

.

I remember her sprawled out on the floor

She wept in pain but it hurt me more

I don’t even recall what we were fighting for

That I was young and dumb, we cannot ignore

I’m a’ telling you man, she was a good ol’ girl

.

Now those days so far behind

When I still had faith in womankind

Will my days ever be so kind?

Not sure the answer’s what I’m looking to find

.

I kept her secret with all I did

Kept her locked up tight under heavy lid

I wouldn’t mention her much not even to my friends

She was mine, alone, and I was keeping her hid

Back in the year of ‘23

I woke to find a friend of mine was gone

Around the bend, behind the veil

Out into the next life had moved on

.

But it always seemed to me that where he was

Was right where he belonged

So, I’d like to think he’s alright now

And I’d like to say goodbye to him in song

.

I still cannot believe that he was shot

And it makes me wonder why it had to be

He was a dude I liked a lot

He would call you out right there on the spot, you see?

He was always a good ol’ boy to me

. 

Perhaps it’s through his kids he’ll be coming through

Or perhaps in ways, I know not how

Perhaps it is that no one fills his shoes

.

Even though I’m alive and well, I know

That my time is coming, too

Perhaps in years; perhaps tonight

Perhaps it is now friend I see you soon

.

I still cannot believe that he got shot

And it makes me wonder why things have to be 

He was a dude I like a lot

He’d call you out right there on the spot, you see?

He was always a good ol’ boy to me

I’ll leave in the night

Though she’s really done no wrong

Even as we did peak

She likely knew it all along

.

Whatever I seek

Has been none all too plain

And will change will to week

So the life I live seems strange

.

Even when life

Flowed and was fun

Still I would dream of when I’d run

When she’s not prepeared

When at night she lays there

And thinks everything’s right

Yes, I’ll leave in the night

.

But I will sit here today

And I’ll play a lullaby

They are true words I say

And in happiness she’ll cry

.

But far down the way

When I’m no more on her mind

It’s me who’ll feel the real pain

For she’ll think those words were lies

.

Even when life

Flowed and was fun

Still I would dream of when I’d run

When she’s not prepared

When at night she lays there

And thinks everything’s right

Yes, I’ll leave in the night

.

I’ll leave in the night

Though she done me no wrong

Though she done me no slight

But I will leave her with a song

Though she done everything right

I’m trying hard to get on my feet

I’m trying hard to make ends meet

But I’m losing ground even as we speak

I need to sit down, and I need to think

I’m trying hard to get on my feet

I’m losing ground even as we speak

.

I shook my cage and I howled at the moon

I flew over the cuckoo’s nest for you

I lay in bed till late afternoon

But I’ve done my best to pretend it’s cool

I shook my cage and howled at the moon

I flew over the cuckoo’s nest for you

.

You can hear the rattle in my bones

You can hear me sigh; you can hear me moan

I’m a sight to see; a thing to behold

I’ve done some things and I need to atone

And I can feel that burn down in my soul

You can hear me sigh; you can feel my moan

.

I’ve seen the sun setting over the sea

I’ve seen the city lights in the eve

I’ve travelled far and wide, it’s true

And I’ve felt the holy spirit move

But I doubt these things matter to you

From the day I was born

And through all of my years

To this one thing I’s sworn

At which I might fail, I fear

.

This one thing is song

Heard in inner ear

That’s come through so strong

And whose penning I feel near

.

Through a love I was drawn

Through a feeling in my chest

Through this thing I’ll live on

Oh, much longer than the rest 

.

And the trials I have faced

I can hardly describe

I’ve no home or no place

Though I’m nearing forty-five

.

But with pain art is laced

So with pain I do lie

And this life I embrace

Though I doubt I do survive

.

Through a love I was drawn

Through a feeling in my chest

Through this thing I’ll live on

Oh, much longer than the rest

.

So when I am gone

If it is I pass the test

They’ll be singing my song

Come with me

Down into this place where it’s dark and deep

Where the things that compose your life in my music steep

And I’ll write you a song that will keep your interest piqued

Good and long and beyond any real critique

.

Hey, don’t stall!

If you’ll listen close you’ll hear something cosmic call

Fling yourself pell-mell into it all

And so oft your plans to the side will quickly fall

Where to make it through does require some wherewithal 

.

Ain’t trying to save face

I’m praying we get out alive

And at worst, just stay in place

I’ll come get you if I survive

.

Lo & behold!

Life moves in the strangest ways, you know?

Things’ll get weird sometimes as they unfold

And it’s hard to know or predict how things will go

And at worst, my friend, you can leave and hit the road

.

Listen close!

To all the words I say but these next the most

It ain’t like I’m trying to brag or like I’m trying to boast

But the things you feel don’t beat you like a whipping post

And the things you feel on some level, you know, you chose

.

Ain’t trying to save face

I’m praying we get out alive

And at worst, just stay in place

I’ll come get you if I survive

.

Hold the door!

I done done what I had to do ain’t got to prove no more

I’ve shown what can be done on a level ain’t been seen before

So well, at times, that it all seems like a bore

I’d rather lies

And maybe some outrage

And be told I’m despised

Or that I’ve wasted my life

Straight from your mouth, babe

.

And prefer what’s cruel

Than nothing from your way

.

Even lies from you

Is better than truth

From anyone else, babe

.

I’d rather disguise

Than the face of another

All hid but eyes

Would more than suffice

To help as I suffer

.

Seldom a sign

But I wait for another

.

I’d rather disguise

All hid but eyes

Than the face of another

.

I’d rather dream

As now I’m inclined to

A world, pristine

Not crude and obscene

As I’ve somehow grown used to

.

Where crudeness seems

Something we trudge through

.

But you inspire in me

Of something more I might dream

Written June 14th Lafayette through Montana and back to Louisiana, August 2022

‘

We’ve travalled for miles

Over mountain and field

‘

Seldom we smile

For it’s still long until

We get to the place

Where for gold we shall till

‘

The wagon wheels creak

The horses do tire

‘

And from puddle do drink

While we’re building our fire

Our spirits to sink

Our wills do expire

‘

For food is low and I doubt we eat tonight

And a man has fallen ill and done gave up the fight

‘

We all say a prayer for this man who lies there

And in the morning take flight

‘

Not one bats an eye while he lays there and dies

Nor feels much contrite

‘

Like buzzards our foes

Are circling our prize

‘

They circle the gold

Our treasure, they eye

The mountains are cold

And there’s much road to ride

‘

Food is low and the bread we have has mold

Our dying man lies still on filthy bedroll

‘

Some say a prayer for the man who lies there

And then away we do go

‘

Then we don’t bat an eye as he lays there and dies

On the side of the road

Written September 3rd to 17th in Baton Rouge and Lafayette

‘

Saddled with a burden 

I never asked for

My faith at times seemed small

‘

But thinking through my options

I couldn’t see much

That appealed to me at all

‘

I struggle to recall

Last time I held hands

With a girl I really cared for at all

‘

Which might explain my misery

Or my soft spot for alcohol

‘

Then I saw you there

Reading all alone

With your golden hair

With your glasses on

‘

Tnd the words you shared

From your secret pome

In the evening air

So simple et bonne

‘

Considering the failure

I’ve had to deal with

You’ll excuse my rattling on

‘

Perhaps I’m just too petty

Or unappealing

And display too little brawn

‘

I struggle

 to recall

Last time I held hands

With a girl I really cared for at all

‘

Which might explain my anger

Or my soft spot for alcohol

‘

Then I saw you, babe

With your glasses on

And it seemed ordained

That I had chanced upon

‘

Joy has filled my day

Day is filled with song

I could sing your praise

Written by Larry Penland, Red Bug, and Reece Sullivan

.

Early in the morn’ or late at night

You can her my neighbors as they fuss and fight

Thirty minutes later and they’re making things right

With a whole lot of racket till the mornin’ light

.

A little dairy maid who’’d been milking a cow

And a young ranch hand who’d been working the plow

Wound up in the hay by a jealous sow

They made the horse neigh and a kitty meow

.

Flash a little smile

Play a little game

I’ll make it worth your while

You’ll be glad that you came

Do me something good, and I’ll do you the same

.

Ten toes up and ten toes down

Two little hineys moving round and round

Hiding the bushes or rolling on the ground

Two little hineys moving round and round

.

Out in the creek bed washing her clothes

She stumbles on a man with a fishing pole

A cast and nibble, and what do you know?

Down on the ground and around they go

.

Out in the cornfield with little Miss Tess

Being what she was was a naughty little mess

It didn’t take long and she’s flingin’ off her dress

Out in the cornfield with little Miss Tess

.

Flash a little smile

Play a little game

I’ll make it worth your while

You’ll be glad that you came

Do me something good, and I’ll do you the same

.

Ten toes up and ten toes down

Two little hineys moving round and round

Hiding the bushes or rolling on the ground

Two little hineys moving round and round

I have broken bread

In a place, unseen

Between where one might find the dead

And our hills of green

A place that most would not believe

For no one there grows old

And still, I took my leave

Before my time was told

Many maps I scour

Many visions held

Well into the witching hour

Many sea I sailed

And still that isle I cannot find

Though I was there before

Or was it in my mind?

For I cannot find it's shore

Written 2014, Lafayette

We met up late in bar one night

We spoke of Blake

We spoke of light

We spoke of mysteries and Jesus Christ

And what it means, the artistic life

I talked of backwoods, Arkansas

The road to Damascus

Becoming Paul

The pull one feels ‘tween spirit and law

Of mystic verse; St. John of the Cross

Out on the night my dark eyes peer

My heart is with song; my purpose clear

I tremble twice as I stand here

The night is strong; the stars are near

Our waitress this young girl with curves

I felt my frontal

Cortex turn

And primal flame within me burn

And something ancient in me yearn

You looked away; I looked at her

You took a drag

A glass was stirred

Empty talk across the way was heard

The line ‘tween flesh and spirit blurred

Bear with me a while; I’ve just begun

Bear with me a while; the night is young

Speak to me with silent tongue

Written August 3rd 2016, Hot Springs, to 

December 29th 2018, Baton Rouge

My horse is on the hill

My hand is on the gun

The weather seems too still

I fear what is to come

I hope I have the will

To do what need be done

My horse is on the hill

My hand is on the gun

You were told the law was coming through

But we were told to leave, so you’re alone

Without the slightest clue of what to do

Should they come for you in your own home

Since I became a man

This dangerous life I chose

Or was it God who made the plan?

I’ll likely never know

But now there are demands

Not to see the lawman’s clothes

It’s hard to understand

Or to see our town erode

The only means that you have for defense

On principles, unknown, you now refuse

These outlaws have no shred of moral sense

And see you and yours as plunder for their use

I see all that I have done

All fleeting as the breeze

All dust beneath the sun

All lost upon a sea

All scattered into crumbs

Mice scurry with and flee

A cruel and cosmic pun

That life has played on me

With even, say, the worst type of offense

Doesn’t in them any guilt produce

For your children’s sake please use some common sense

Written Winter 2020 to Summer 2021

Our late nights high on drugs were a dream come true

I’ve never felt such love as I did with you

I long to feel your hugs and to kiss you, too

Our late nights high on drugs were a dream come true

What’s old and what is new?

And what is in the cards for me?

Is it just for some - meaning for the young -

To feel in love and be so free?

Me and you together grew

As though it all were meant to be

And I can’t reconcile what went wrong and I’ll

Be a long time grieved

Our long days in the sun were warm and bright

Drunk by noon on rum and feeling right

It ended all too soon, maybe at its height

Our long days in the sun were warm and bright

What’s old and what is new?

And what is in the cards for me?

Is it just for some - meaning for the young -

To feel in love and be so free?

Me and you together grew

As though it all were meant to be

And I can’t reconcile what went wrong and I’ll

Be a long time grieved

The dream I dreamed with you while on ecstasy

Was like a sea of love we found where I dove too deep

Was like a sea in which we drowned, which was fine by me

The dream I dreamed with you while on ecstasy

What’s old and what is new?

And what is in the cards for me?

Is it just for some - meaning for the young -

To feel in love and be so free?

Me and you together grew

As though it all were meant to be

And I can’t reconcile what went wrong and I’ll

Written December 2018 to March 20th 2019, Lafayette

My boss was a creep

My numbers were down

Behind my back speak

When on lunch I’s in town

And while the girl was a freak

She was a friend that I found

In a time of great need was around

   ***

The girl I now knew

Did help me survive

By talking me through 

And hearing me cry

‘Bout the lot that I drew

And the job I despised

As the coffee did brew while we’d hide

    *****

Perhaps in the morning I’ll tell her

Perhaps when we’re waiting to eat

The feeling that grips me when each day we do meet

     And the thing that I feel is a feeling so deep

Perhaps after work I’ll call her at home

     And if things go as planned she will give in to me

   *****

And leaving one day

Where all day we’d sit

She asked if I knew 

Of some place we could get

A drink for us two

For to chat and get lit

And dream, together, we’d quit

   *****

Perhaps I can segue away from our work

Perhaps once we’ve had a few drinks

What could it hurt to say what I think?

     And confess how I feel and how further I sink?

Perhaps I will charm her with one of my quirks

     And feign I’m relaxed and from the task will not shrink

Written Summer 2021 to early 2022, Louisiana

Maybe for after I'm long gone

Yes, maybe for after I'm dead

I might pen some well-written swan song

God willing, that way I am led

If only I keep myself guarded

And away from what the normies are fed

Perhaps after long years of hardship

And at the end of some lonesome path tred

You really can't say much of value

When you have nothing to say

When nothing weighs heavy up on you

And too easy you glide through the day

You're likely to just wind up boring

Unless you've been dealing with pain

Unless there is something you're mourning

This much to me does seem plain

*********

I allowed for my heart to be broke for if only to find

The words at the end of a rope; yes, I've suffered for rhyme

And even for throwaway songs, I've wound up in a bind

*********

But how can one live in these strange times

And have nothing of interest to say?

Unless one is willfully blind

And believe they alone know the case

When so much seems done by design

And right in front of our face

*********

There's more than enough to be done here

There are plenty more words one could say

Anything that adds some real value

In any real meaningful way

To those who will listen, I speak now

To those who have grit in their bones

To those who can draw some conclusions

Yes, simple enough on their own

Who can make out some truth through the drone