Fourcast Lab Owes Me $20

These are all from a few days ago now.

Intern group photo with our bosses (something something this totally doesn't look like it was taken against our will; also this isn't everyone because as always 4CL has scattered us across many countries and continents for assignments). I think they may be putting this on the Lab's website or something? Still, I feel the most comfortable posting these with faces censored :).

Also I took my little digital camera into the actual lab with me and got some fun pics (while I totally wasn't procrastinating my work). Some stuff had to be blocked out before I was permitted to post, but I still think they're fun!

Do not ask what the thing covered in caution tape is. I have no idea. It was there before I got here, and will probably still be there after I am gone.

I almost wish I could say that I've been inactive because the Lab has been giving me crazy work, or I've been busy with something or another, but the weirdest thing is that that's not the case, but I still feel off.

I graduated a few months ago, now. I'm probably not done with academics as a whole, but I had decided before graduating that I would be taking some time off before going back to school. At the same time, the Lab has given me a psuedo-summer break - technically I work there still, yes, but assignments have been unusually slow, to the point where I haven't actually had to be in the lab for...since graduation, essentially. Maybe it's their way of apologizing to me for putting me through how hectic they made my last summer (and fall, and winter).

So my social life, work life, and inner life have all experienced some drastic changes - moving away from campus, not being active with work, the resulting personal challenged with lack of motivation, routine, energy...I know it won't last forever, that once I find my next step in life it'll change, and that I'm definitely not the first person to graduate and feel this way, but I grow tired and frustrated with my own listlessness. Even with the prospect of using the time to pursue hobbies and projects, I find myself immediately deprived of the ability to do it. I just end up feeling tired. And that tiredness and lack of achievement makes me feel frustrated. Etc.

I plan on being more active on here in the near future, as some fun stuff has been happening with me that has given me some more free time! First: time abroad for work is, as far as I know, wrapped up for the forceable future. Maybe one day you'll hear about my time in Europe (if 4CL gives me clearance to disclose :P - some of it was pretty silly + goofy, a lot of it was having an atrocious sleep schedule, missing my cat, and getting into my normal amount of trouble). Maybe I'll check with my boss and see if I can pass field notes? Could be big. Second: I graduated! Managing Fourcast time and school time was not easy at all, but now that the latter is wrapped up I will have more time for stuff that's not the Lab, which I desperately need. There are a lot of things I want to get back into the swing of (after I catch up on sleep), especially in terms of having something to focus my creative energy on; one thing is this page, making my little weird collages and all, but I have my little personal projects to keep myself entertained.

I've been running a (at best, semi-annual) DND campaign with some friends that I will hopefully be able to put more time into in terms of writing/planning/playing (I am the forever DM of my friendgroup, which has its pros and cons :,) ). I have also been incredibly tempted to get back into fanfiction writing lelelel - writing has kind of always been in my life, but it had to take a backburner these last few years and I've missed it, so being cringe but free may help me scratch that itch. Technically this is a personal blog so 4Cast couldn't stop me from posting fanfiction here, but if you're from the Lab and you're seeing this: you're not allowed to read my fanfiction. But who knows, maybe that will happen, maybe not? Maybe at the depths of a hyperfixation I'll be possessed to throw something out there.