Whatever I Say

best marketing

A+

10/10

Raging pharmacology boner.

SO I CLICKED ONE

AND IT TURNED INTO THIS

AND YOU CAN GRAB THE BANANA AND

BUT WAIT IT GETS BETTER - YOU CAN LEAVE THE BANANA AND MOVE THE BAGEL INSTEAD

EQUALITY IN FOOD PORN I’M SO HAPPY

AND THEN I SAW THIS

AND I WAS LIKE WTF I HAVE TO SEE THE SOLUTION FOR THIS ONE

SO I ENTERED A CRAP NAME AND HIT THE BUTTON AND

AND THEN

I JUST WANTED TO SEE WHAT IT DID

THEN

then centuries later an old buisnessman comes along and is like “I’m going to take this and market it as a toy to children.”

Which is the exact plot of Yu-Gi-Oh

like, grass goes in, fast comes out

most things that produce fast (like cheetahs, and cars) use much more heavily processed grass, like horses, and oil

     omg. okay, so basically, I was a “gifted kid” which was code for fucken nerd ass bitch, so i would constantly just stare off into space during class while everyone else was tryna figure out what the fuck our teacher was tryna say. Anyway, I was learning about chemistry and biology outside of school(i know what a fucking nerd amirite ladies), and my dad got me a book that talked about all these famous psychological experiments.

    So chapter one was, would you have guessed it, Pavlov’s dog. I thought it my be fun to try something to that extent with my classmates. Now, keep in mind, being a nerdy ass brown kid in a school full of white ppl meant that I wasn’t exactly popular, and no one really talked to me in class or cared what I was doing.

   Everyday, at 9:45 am, our teacher would announce that it was snacktime, and everyone would fucking sprint to their cubbies to grab their lunchboxes like it was the goddamn hunger games. Kindergarten kids didn’t really have a concept of time, so i used this to my advantage. At 9:45 as my teacher would walk up to announce snacktime, I would knock on my desk really quickly three times. It was rly subtle, and I wasn’t sure that it would work.

   So after two or three weeks, I decided to have some fun. Thirty minutes after school began at like 8:30 or something, I tapped knocked on the desk. Half the class turned their heads and looked straight at the cubbies. 3 boys got up and were about to run to get their lunchbox. One girls stomach started growling REALLY loudly. The teacher had to take 5 minutes to get everyone to calm down and one kid started crying because he thought it was snacktime and he was so shocked and destroyed.

   Realizing that I had basically dog trained the whole class, I burst out laughing so hard I fell out of my chair and cut my head on the tile floor and got sent home early because I was laughing so hard they thought I had a concussion or something. When I explained what happened to my dad he left the room, but I could hear him losing it in the hallway.