what people dont get about divorces is the Whole Thing About Dogs

i have written custody plans for labrador retrievers more complex than i have for children. i went to four years of undergrad, three years of law school, and sat for the bar exam to write up custody exchange provisions for dogs with hyphonated last names

my clients are paying $295 an hour for me to go to court and litigate who makes veterinary decisions for Chuckles the Goldfish and theres literally nothing i can do to stop them

Well, well, well. If it isn't the consequences of someone else's actions that I am directly impacted and severely affected by

goo goo dolls if they were in dune: and i don’t want the worm to see me

Trying to be an intellectual is to consign yourself to a life of being Ulysses Ogre

i need to come up with a way to say “i mean like, movies for grownups” that doesn’t make me feel like a villain

*peeks in the replies* *gets really nervous and locks my house up and leaves*

I don't think "movies for grownups" is a useful category anyway, it's far too broad. What do you want to watch movies about?

sex, violence, curse words, taxes, day jobs, alcoholism, dating, murder, divorce, debt, dead-end retail jobs, weird little humiliations, chain smoking outside diners, bad landlords, chronic back pain, popping painkillers like tic tacs, getting ghosted, shitty apartments, grief, gambling addictions, funerals, office politics, sexual repression, bad tattoos, eviction notices, insomnia, emotional affairs, weird coworkers, long commutes, bankruptcy, custody battles, compulsive lying, stalking, body horror, ugly crying, layoffs, guilt, addiction recovery, moral compromise, black mold, road rage, nihilism, awkward funerals, disappointing sex, cohabitation, cults, labor strikes, failing marriages, religious trauma, tax fraud, pyramid schemes, jealousy, cigarettes for dinner, bad breakups, middle management, panic attacks, community theater, DUI checkpoints, unplanned pregnancies, messy love, manipulative love, missing persons, steaming wallpaper, prescription side effects, chronic loneliness, inheritance disputes, estranged siblings, and occasionally, if i’m feeling Whimsical, eating human meat

what a beautiful day to not be in high school

This is the like those “remember to be grateful you don’t have a sore throat right now” posts. It IS a beautiful day to not be in high school! Thank you!

Assignment misunderstood. I have now built a city.