CHILDREN OF THE WILD ONES.

no,  this  doesn’t  always  feel  right.  (  there  wasn’t  anything  right  about  watching  the  life  drain  from  chuck’s  eyes.  there  wasn’t  anything  right  about  having  to  pretend  to  hate  thomas.  there  wasn’t  anything  right  about  pulling  aris  close  and  pressing  her  lips  to  his.  none  of  that  felt  right  ).  but  if  all  of  this  saves  people?  if  it  keeps  one  little  boy  from  having  to  watch  his  parents  die,  or  one  little  girl  from  becoming  a  pawn  in  some  crank  game,  maybe  it’s  worth  it.  maybe  giving  up  her  life  is  worth  saving  the  entire  human  race.  

people  are  dying  out  here,  too,  tom.  she  wants  to  open  up  to  him,  remind  him  of  what  she  went  through  growing  up,  but  she  can’t.  (  another  variable  she  hates,  but  one  she  knows  is  necessary.  just  a  little  bit  longer…  )  &  though  her  stomach  twists  from  the  way  he’s  looking  at  her,  teresa  forces  herself  to  hold  his  gaze  —  her  own  unwavering,  imploring  him  to  listen.

i  don’t  like  watching  our  friends  die,  but  what  do  you  think  would  happen  if  they  got  the  flare?  they’d  still  die.  newt’s  face  appears  in  her  mind,  but  she’s  quick  to  shove  it  down.  if  she  accidentally  sent  that  image  to  thomas…  i  have  to  believe  we’re  saving  lives.  besides,  what  choice  do  we  have?  we’re  stuck  in  this  scorch,  tom.  we  have  to  play  along. 

 it’s  hard  not  to  clutch  onto  the  smallest  bit  of  hope  ;    hard  not  to  grow  soft  under  teresa’s  words  and  reason  with  her.  thomas  knows  very  well  that  she  does  have  a  point  in  the  midst  of  all  the  tangled  thoughts  and  emotions  roaming  his  mind.  he  wants  to  believe  that  there  is  a cure  waiting  for  them  ,  that  the  gladers  are  alive  and  safe.  isn’t  that  what  had  him  going  all  this  time  ?  isn’t  the  persistent  arrogance  of  reaching  their  goal  and  believing  in  the  cure  what  helped  him  endure  ?  he  stays  silent  for  a  long  while ;  trying  to  grow  cold  and  hard  again  ––  but  he  is  so  tired.  so  exhausted.

 maybe  he  is  being  selfish  and  stupid  ,  but  he’s  somewhat  glad  to  just  have  the  old  teresa  around  him  again.  the  one  who  he  swore  he  would  find  again  and  protect  when  he  found  her  in  that  cabin,   when  she  kissed  him  and  his  heart  hurt  so  much  that  he  had  to  run  away,  and  swallow  back  the  tears  that  ended  up  falling  anyway.  the  pain  is  leaking  ;  demeanor  displaying  limp  shoulders  and  feet  taking  tired  steps. 

 being  brave  doesn’t  mean  that  you’re  not  terrified.   it  doesn’t  mean   that  your  hands  aren’t  shaking  and  your  heart  isn’t  just  seconds  away  from  jumping  out  of  your  chest.  thomas  is  scared;  terrified  of  getting  hurt  and  facing  death ;  just  like  anyone  else.  yet,  he  is  ready  to  face  his  fears,  take  a  shot  in  the  dark  and  sacrifice  himself  for  something  he  values  more  than  himself.  something  greater  than  the  captivating  threats  of  terror.

      ❛   tom,  you gotta      —–     oh my god,     they’re  coming.  ❜

@redempticns

the  list  of  things  she  would  do  to  save  him  is  vast  and  ever-growing.  sacrifice  herself  —-  sacrifice  others.  sacrifice  the  bond  they  once  shared;  the  bond  they  might  have  grown  to  share  again.  maybe  he  didn’t  understand  it,  and  maybe  she  could  never force  him to  see  it  through  her  eyes,  but  :  she  doesn’t  regret  what  she  did.  wish  she  didn’t  have  to,  yes,  but  regret?  never.  not  if  it  meant  saving  his  life.

she’s  been  watching  him  for  the  last  twenty  minutes.  blue  eyes,  clouded  with  the  horrors  of  what  they’ve  seen,  rarely  straying  from  the  back  of  his  head.  she  doesn’t  have  to  peek  into  his  mind  to  know  he’s  furious  with  her;  it  practically  rolls  off  of  him  in  waves.  back  before,  when  they  were  just  kids  huddled  up  in  an  old  maintenance  room  with  no  real  understanding  of  what  was  coming  for  them,  she  might  have  bumped  his  shoulder  and  made  some  teasing  comment  to  make  him  laugh.  that  was  another  time,  though.  a  time  when  things  weren’t  so  broken.

people  are  dying,  tom.  if  we  can  help  them  find  a  cure  —–  she  breaks  off,  frustration  blossoming  in  her  chest.  he  doesn’t  understand.  he  doesn’t  remember  what  it’s  like  out  there.  they  have  to  find  a  way  to  stop  this,  no  matter  what  it  takes.  i’m  sorry  about  what  happened.  they  said  it  was  the  only  way  to  save  you.  i  couldn’t  let  you  die,  tom.  that’s  never  been  an  option  for  me.  

 despite  promising  himself  that  he  wouldn’t  deal  with  this  right  now,  thomas  cannot  help  but  to  allow  his  mind  to  snap  back.   and  you  think  this  is  the  right  way ?   his  lips  press  together ;  his  body  physically  emphasizing  to  those  silent,  yet  clear  words.   how  could  she  still  put  her  faith  in  WICKED  after  everything  they  put  them  through ? (  everything  they  are  being  put  through  )  did  she  forget  about  gally  ?  chuck  ?  the  promise  of  a  cure  sounds  more  and  more  like  a  false  hope  just  to  lead  them  on  as  simple  lab  rats  for  the  sake  of  a  bigger  picture  no  one  can  ever  see.  

 thomas  cannot  bring  himself  to  think  like  that.  he  wants  to  save  people,  he  wants  to  find  a  cure  and  end  this  nightmare  once  and  for  all  –––-  but  not  like  this.  not  if  it  means  that  he  has  to  give  up  his  friends  for  it.    another  glance  is  shot  at  the  girl,  but  this  time  it  lingers  a  moment  longer ;  just  enough  for  her  to catch  the  look  in  his  eyes.  he  wants  to  be  angry  at  her.  he  wants  to  ask  her  how  beating  him  up  and  kissing  aris  has  anything  to  do  with  the  cure.   but  he  can’t.   

    the fight is nearly over; at least, it seems to be, considering the male is currently underneath her, his arm bent backwards, face smushed into the ground. judging by the amount of blood pouring from every part of him, malia is the clear winner. she could leave him be, and yet, fists find themselves punching at his nose, cheek jaw; everywhere the brunette can reach. it’s not until a voice reaches her from afar that she removes her focus from the idiot writhing under her. she raises a brow, wondering why this guy even CARES, but she never gets the chance to ask. because in her moment of distraction, her opponent obtains the upper hand, slamming malia’s body against the floor, a hand around her neck.

❛    luckily for you, i’m not trying to eat you.      ❜irritation blossoms within her words; how could someone be so stupid as to call out in days such as these? lydia’s tiptoe-steps bring her closer to him as she searches out his eyes; trying to tell by just that whether he’s been infected or no. she very much doubts it - but she wasn’t stupid. all she had to do was protect herself. ❛    you’re not infected, right?     ❜

thomas  instinctively  takes  a  step  back  when  the  girl  nears  him,  hand tightly  clasping  around  the  strap  of  his  bag  while  brown  eyes  scan  he r perhaps  a  little  too  quickly.   would  it be  too  crazy  to  assume  that  she  is  a  crank  ?  clearly  not  too  far  gone,  but  the  paranoia  and  urgency  in  her  eyes  is  certainly  showing  traces  of  some  linger  of  insanity.   (  but  then  again,  wouldn’t  the  whole  world  be a  little    paranoid  under  the  circumstances ?  )   thomas  shakes  his  head,   releasing  a  small  breath  he  didn’t  know  he  was  holding.     ❛    no, i’m not.   ❜    he  could  say  that  he’s  immune ,  but  you  can  never  be  sure  of  how  people  respond  to  munnies.         ❛    –––are you ?   ❜ 

 the  rocky ,   unpleasant  bumps  beneath  sore  feet  are  only  driving  him  further  into  the  tangled  emotions  he  cannot  seem  to  sort  out.  all  thomas  wants  right  now  is  to  get  to  the  gladers.   his  friends.  ––– real  friends.  but  then  he  is  reminded  that  teresa  is  a  part  of  it ,  too.  she  was  there  when  they  escaped  the  maze , when  chuck  died.   she  was  there  before  anything  and everything ,  and  still  she  did  this  to  him.  (  to  them  all  )  .  teresa  used  to  be  a  lot  of  things,  and  now  she  is  nothing  anymore.  nothing  but  a  reminder  of  how  undeniably  stupid  he’s  been  for  falling  into  her  trap.   thomas  wonders    if  there  will  be  a  day  when  the  scars  she’d  beaten  on  him  would  remind  him  of    something  else  than  her  betrayal.