London State of Mind

you can't just switch off years of unhealthy behaviors, negative thought patterns, and counterproductive emotions. but u can recognize them and be like 'i'm not engaging. this isn't the end of the world. i'm box breathing. i'm not giving those thoughts attention; i'm acknowledging them and letting them go. i'm going to take a break when i can.' don't be hard on yourself if it doesn't work or you do something that feels like you've set yourself back. that doesn't help, either, lol

You know what? It’s okay if your only goal right now is to survive. You don’t need big aspirations or recovery goals. It’s okay to focus on the now and getting through this moment.

No but I hate seeing young adults beat themselves up for not having it all at a certain age. Like the person with a career will hate themselves for not having a long education, while the person finishing their degree will hate themselves for not also working. And the person in a committed relationship will judge themselves for not also having a big friend group, while the person with lots of friends feels that they're failing because they're single. And in reality no life ever follows a set time line and it's unfair to expect anyone to have it all at once by 20 or 25 or 30 or literally any arbitrary deadline

You'll get the future you want so badly. It's okay to be on your own timeline. You don't have to feel ashamed for taking a gap year, a leave of absence from school/work, or time off of whatever you do. Things will come together eventually. Take care of yourself first.

You don't have to force yourself to bounce back so quickly. I read something recently that said "when you come in from a rainstorm, you don't expect yourself to be dry and warm right away", and it really resonated with me. It's okay to take time to dry off and warm up. Take the time you need to process what happened to you.

You have to stop ruining things for yourself preemptively because you believe they’ll fail anyway. Give yourself a chance to succeed.

One day you think: I want to die. And then you think, very quietly, actually I want a coffee. I want a nap. A sandwich. A book. And I want to die turns day by day into I want to go home, I want to walk in the woods, I want to see my friends, I want to sit in the sun. I want a cleaner room, I want a better job, I want to live somewhere else, I want to live.

one of the biggest things I can advocate for (in academia, but also just in life) is to build credibility with yourself. It’s easy to fall into the habit of thinking of yourself as someone who does things last minute or who struggles to start tasks. people will tell you that you just need to build different habits, but I know for me at least the idea of ‘habit’ is sort of abstract and dehumanizing. Credibility is more like ‘I’ve done this before, so I know I can do it, and more importantly I trust myself to do it’. you set an assignment goal for the day and you meet it, and then you feel stronger setting one the next day. You establish a relationship with yourself that’s built on confidence and trust. That in turn starts to erode the barrier of insecurity and perfectionism and makes it easier to start and finish tasks. reframing the narrative as a process of building credibility makes it easier to celebrate each step and recognize how strong your relationship with yourself can become

gentle reminder you can rise up from everything. you can recreate yourself. nothing is permanent. you are not stuck. you have choices. you can think new thoughts. you can learn something new. you can create new habits. all that matters is that you decide today and never look back.