I'm over it

Long story short listening to Cry Baby as a 16 year old is a lot different than listening to it as the 20 year old I am now... Basically I’m saying that the album hasn’t aged well.

 I held onto that album for so long because it helped me through some pretty bad times in my life, it was kind of my “vent” album, but after listening to it recently and hearing some childhood abuse survivors express their frustration with the way, in their eyes Martinez trivializes and even fetishizes childhood abuse, well, I just can’t really listen to it the same way anymore. And I know that was kind of a long standing criticism of that album, “Martinez has no business talking about traumatizing experiences she never went through...” “Martinez is sexualizing early childhood...” I remember seeing those criticisms but I was blinded by my love of the album and chalked them up as simply people “not understanding her artistic vision” and idk in some ways I still kinda feel that way, but I’ve also matured and can now see that there’s more weight to those criticisms than I initially thought. 

Creating music from a perspective other then your own is one thing but when you’re discussing such delicate topics as childhood trauma and abuse there needs to be some kind of tact in order to be tasteful imo, and tbh I feel like I agree that she really aestheticized childhood trauma instead of treating it with the tact and respect it deserves. As I said before, I only really came to this conclusion after listening to survivors speak about their relationship to Cry Baby, and I honestly feel stupid and ignorant for not seeing it sooner. As someone I was reading from put it. “Artists can definitely write about traumatic experiences that haven’t happened to them personally. The problem is that Melanie Martinez makes herself out to be the victim of that trauma [through her Crybaby persona] even though she hasn’t experienced that trauma herself.” I couldn’t agree more with that person. It’s like she simultaneously wanted to tell a dark fairy tale disconnected with reality with Crybaby getting kidnapped by the big bad wolf, but at the same time wanted to “be brave” and talk about controversial but “real” subject mater, and only ended up profiting off of her fans’ real life trauma. I honestly can’t listen to songs like Tag You’re It without feeling kinda sick to my stomach now. (I’m not even gonna get into songs like Mad Hatter because this is long enough)

As for sexualizing early childhood, even if that wasn’t her intention I do feel like that was kind of the result, from using things associated with young children as metaphors for sexual situations (Training Wheels and Playdate I’m looking at you!) to some of her outfits and weird nude photoshoots (C'mon that one where she’s naked with a teddy bear and baby bottle! She had to know what she was doing! Or at least how it would come off!) I largely think I was so dismissive of that criticism because as someone who’s been into alt fashion for years I’m used to women getting harassed for wearing cutesy or doll like styles with men claiming “it must be a fetish!” When it’s really nothing of the sort. Needless to say I was biased in Martinez’s favor because of that experience, but I remember sweet lolitas at the time being pretty put off that Martinez was wearing Angelic Pretty dresses and associating Japanese lolita fashion with her weird brand. And I wish I listened! Because in hind sight they were so right! But I was too young and naïve to see it, as I think a lot of her fanbase is now. Weather or not it was her intention, Martinez ended up fetishizing childhood and profiting off of abuse she never suffered.

Alright now let’s get to the real stuff, the allegations. I really don’t want to go too in depth, I just feel I should mention this because it’s important. Basically I was one of those fans who thought the allegations were disproven based of the flaws in the accusers story. However, going back to this whole thing with the mind of an adult, I can safely say, no, nothing has been conclusively disproven as I once thought. And then I found out there was another woman. Who I will say said she wasn’t assaulted, but said she believes the original accuser because she had a similar experience with Martinez, and well, that’s really all the evidence I need. That was really the final straw for me, like yeah I just can’t do this anymore, I can’t pretend this isn’t a real concern on top of everything else already mentioned. I feel like such a bad person for dismissing this case for so long, I really thought it had been disproven, but I was wrong.

There’s also some of the abhorrent things I’ve heard from her fanbase, like sending death threats and gore images to people who even mention the case, let’s not even talk about the things they do to the woman who came out against her. Even if she was lying, that’s not how you treat someone, period. 

It just feels like such a joke, Melanie Martinez always posed herself as someone who is ultra empathetic, who gets it. Yet her fans act this way, yet she does nothing to stop it, yet she “allegedly” did something so horrible to someone, and then profits off of that same trauma with her music, posing herself as the victim. I just can’t stand by it anymore, and I’m embarrassed it took me this long to see her hypocrisy...