end what is inside me

No one will realize if I dissapeared

Why do I keep going? It is not like I am going to get far in life. I should just stop.

Why does life hurt me so bad? Having brake downs everyday. Wondering if things will get better

I wish I could feel happy, wish I could feel alright

I still have to fight under the pressure of wanting to die

I am tired of fighting a battle that I know I won't win

My demons won't let me go. And they are keeping me away from you.

I want to go back to where you were still with me. But I know well that's not going to happen.

Wish I could tell you that I am sorry. I wish I could fix everything. Fix myself....

I lose people. I lose them because of my problems, my thoughts, the ones that tell me to end it all. I keep things inside but there is a point where I can't keep it in and I have to talk to someone. I just need, I just want someone to listen to me I just want to be heard. I am not telling them to fix me because if i can't fix myself no one can. I lose people because I overwhelm them with all the shit in my life. That's one of the reasons I stay quiet, I can't speak, I feel numb. I don't know what I am doing. And I ask myself if this all worth it? Is hurting the people I love the most worth it? This goes though my head over and over. And I hate it. I hate the fact that I can't control my emotions, I can't control my thoughts. They control me. Making me do things and say thing that hurt others. The closest people, my friends are slowly walking away because I push them away. I am done with hurting people. If they want to leave I will let then because if they stay they will get hurt. I care more about them that I care about myself. So if they leave I will understand and I will be ok with it. Because they don't deserve the pain I give them.

I hate the voices in my head, telling me to give up and end everything.

The only thing I do is hurt. That's all i am good at.

I feel so numb, so hollow, to the point were I don't care anymore

I want to live but just don't know how to.

I am living in a body that's fighting every day to survive but has a mind that tries to kill me every minute.

Wish you were still with me

I lost you and it was my fault