Trying Trying Trying

“I wish we did something crazy for treatment. I wish i could tell you: ‘Today they strapped wires to my arms and sent electricity through me, and I smelled smoke and heard a crackle in my ears, and orange and purple spots appeared in the center of my vision, and afterward I had to lie down with a hot water bottle pressed to the back of my neck while I trembled and shook for a couple of hours.’ Because then you’d say: ‘That’s horrible! You were so brave! You’re working so hard to get better!’ But that’s not what I can tell you. Instead, I have to say: ‘We had ice cream for afternoon snack.’ And you’d say: ‘Mmmm! Ice cream!’ You say: ‘I love ice cream!’ There is nothing I can say to make you understand.”