The richest thoughts

You do not automatically become wiser when you age, sometimes you just become more confident in being an idiot

Incognito just hides your information from yourself

What If the FBI wasn’t really watching us, but instead just saying they are to make us act like we are being watched

Your salary is the bribe they give you for giving up on your dreams

It takes a genius to design something an idiot can understand.

There’s no better feeling of knowing you are 100 percent right, and a person who disagrees opens up Google.

Ancestry DNA is probably just the FBI getting Samples from everyone.

“You’re shit” and “you ain’t shit” are both insults, but “you’re the shit” is a compliment.

Maybe if everyone stop saying that Karma is a bitch, Karma will feel good and stop doing bad things to people?

Anyone who says any publicity is good publicity has never been wrongfully accused of sexual misconduct.

Your bed is almost always more comfortable to lay in when you don’t have time to lay in it.

If women could only get pregnant if they orgasmed, the human population would be significantly smaller.

If only

Hotels should have an option to rent a room with a friendly cat or dog so lonely travelers can feel a little love.

During sex, remember that girth is more important than length. Because of this, make sure to fold your dick in half before sticking it in.

Hmmm

A red headed guy working at a bakery is essentially a ginger bread man

The person who asked for the best cheating on an exam stories might be a teacher

The phrase “when life gives you lemons you make lemonade” forgets to account for the water and sugar needed to actually make lemonade.