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Emerson: FIGHT ME

Remington:

Emerson: F I G H T M E

Remington: Okay

Emerson: WAIT, NO-

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Let's all just get along and stop stabbing each other.

— Emerson, probably.

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Remington to Sebastian: Shut up!

Emerson: Hey, don't talk to him like that.

Remington: Fine! Shut up in a nice way.

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Remington: When people get buried, their body hair and nails don't decompose.

Sebastian: Huh, really?

Remington:... Do you know how many times a day I think about the fact that most skeletons have pubes?

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Emerson: Do you even know what a computer is?

Remington: Yeah, it's a typewriter with porn in it.

Emerson: Remington, no-

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Emerson: Introducing... the pencil! You can write with it... uh... what else can you do with a pencil?

Sebastian: Shove it down your throat.

Remington: Masturbate with it.

Emerson: Yes! You ca- wait, what?

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Remington: You suck!

Sebastian: I don't-

Remington: You didn't let me finish! You suck both metaphorically and physically you gay ass bitch.

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I used to be an emo twink, but now I'm just a twink.

— Andy, probably.

Just so you know, I'm not naturally this funny. I decided to watch as many One Direction funny moments videos as I could in middle school and that is why I am like this.

— Remington, probably.

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Emerson: I'll kill you!

Remington, the vampire he is: Like I'm scared of that shit.

Sebastian: Shut it, Vamp Boy!

Remington: Not only can I physically not die, but I want to.

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Buttplugs are all fun and games until somebody farts and shoots the cat.

—Remington, probably

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Its like you’ve never sacrificed a goat before and it shows.

—Andy to jake

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