* SIREN / PRINCESS !

“ i was gonna leave town, but then i thought, ‘no i’ll have an omlette.’ ” “ you know my mother/father was killed by a kitty. ” “ i didn’t think you’d be here, i thought you left town already. ” “ when i look at you, my heart just screams out ‘i like boys/girls’! ” “ my stove’s not the only thing that’s flaming. ” “ i wanted to see if i could actually fall in love with a woman/man. ” “ there was something so beautiful when we met at the grocery store and you walked up and said 'what’s up bitch?’ ” “ you walked up and said 'what’s up bitch?’ ” “ THEN TURN ME AROUND! ” “ i will hold the raccoon in my teeth, i promise. ” “ i may have steered you wrong with the raccoon. ” “ i thought it was something straight people did! ” “ what’s up, bitch? ” “ bend over, i think you have something on your butt. ” “ i just peed. ” “ what could possibly go wrong? ” “ i don’t know if i’m ready for this. ” “ it’s hard from both sides. ” “ here we go - oh, well! ” “ i found your wedding ring. ” “ how was i to know you’d find my ring inside his butt? ” “ i’m in love with a beautiful man/woman. ” “ i don’t know, i’m no scientist. ” “ i’m a choreographer. ” “ they have a chinese assassin called humphrey. ” “ he’s gonna kill you with a spear. ” “ s/he’s going to cut off your head, put it on his/her head, then run around. put your head back on, and then… dance. ” “ remember that he loves milkshakes. ” “ you can’t reason with him. ” “ i’m going to wear nothing but chaps and ice skates. ” “ he’s afraid of ukuleles! he once punched a hawaiian. ” “ i guess i’ll have to kill him first. ” “ i’m going to urinate on him. ” “ but together… we’re normal. ” “ bring some food! ” “ i’ve hired the jonas brothers. ” “ i call it the… pussy woof woof. ” “ we need more balloons. ” “ my mother. ” “ where’s my father/mother? ” “ you brought the batmobile? ” “ i’m crawling inside one of the balloons. ” “ every kid in america! is a lot of kids. ” “ i don’t want the glove, it’s dirty. ” “ there’s no need to really put your hand up my ass! ”

“ We all have that one aunt that sends us creepy dolls and clown paraphernalia. ”  “ Maybe I want to fuck Boo Boo the Fool. "  ” That’s when you throw the whole child out. “ “ I have one kink and one kink only. and that is, fighting [name] naked. "  “ it’s because he’s a daddy. ”  “ goodbye furries. ” “ it’s not hard, you just have to show that you have bigger dick energy. ” “ ‘give me blade’ …. in the straight way or the gay way?? ” “ is there any real straight way, though? ” “ we’ve forsaken [name] and given [name] material for the daddy board. ” “ do you know what time it is, shitlord? ” “ they know how to get to his/her heart, and his/her pants. ” “ maybe that was my plan all along. ” “ i am afraid of your power. ” “ this is my son, [name]. his/her mom/dad sucks so i basically stole him like he was a football during the superbowl. he likes chicken nuggets, macaroni and cheese, and hot dogs. ” “ i can’t believe it, i’ve made a spicy boy. ” “ i would call [name] daddy, and that’s a fact. ” “ lieutenant, it’s me, your son — FUCK. ” “ wear me like a beard. ” “ your art makes my heart bust a nut. ” “ i have a single braincell and it’s all lost and alone and scared. ” “ call me harry potter because i have a fuckin scar on my forehead. ” “ captain america is stored in the balls. ” “ i busted a nut doing that high note. ” “ it’s three and a half am… ” “ [name] i can’t count that high. ” “ you’re making an ass of yourself. ” “ ultimate smackdown: gay baby edition. ” “ not that bold when i know that you have the sleep schedule of like, a single mom with newborn triplets. ” “ YOU DIED AS YOU LIVED. SURROUNDED BY PUSSY. ” “ even thought [name] is a trick ass bitch, i miss him. ” “ you jack santa’s style, you catch santa’s hands. ” “ repent, repent motherfucker! ” “ don’t close the door you motherfucker. ” “ sometimes a possession happens during a sneeze. ” “ you got blue balled by freddie mercury. ” "i’m johnny knoxville and this is jackass. ayo ma why you gotta be such a bitch all the time?"  "if you sneeze again, i’m gonna slap you"  "its called a divorce, you should know all about that"  “ he just stood there and died like an asshole. ”

soft smile c:

sleeping at aspen’s house

Living louder by The Cab (via kids-in-crisis)