I feel asleep!!!

the opposite of that "orc can't read ulysses" is an elf who smugly delivers a lecture misinterpreting the Very Hungry Caterpillar

even a forehead kiss would have a maladjusted freak like me bricked the fuck up. to be honest

the purpose of friends is to have people who unconditionally hate your shitty exes & relatives. like maybe YOU have a complex relationship with your father but i sure don't. i'm outside his house with a gun. he's not the unforgivable asshole who raised me he's just an unforgivable asshole

god i hate that all the 3 restaurants within walking distance are all closed. what do you mean kfc closes at fucking 9pm on a friday. are you guys afraid of money or something

traversing the dangerous highway that cuts through the middle of town to obtain some dominos

some guy yelled "you suck" at me from his car while i was walking home w my pizza. whatever man

you're cancelled, btw

yeah yeah yeah tell me somethin i don’t know

in paper mario the thousand year door, you can buy a hot dog outside the glitz pit for 10 coins. it restores 5hp and 5fp.

yeah yeah yeah tell me somethin i already know

to move at will, you can use the limbs of your body, along with the surface of the earth, and the force of gravity that pushes those two things together. with the friction generated by this contact, you can propel yourself forward by several different methods including walking, running, crawling, rolling, dragging, climbing, pushing, pulling, or jumping.