Real Life Tia

It’s not friendship  day or anything , but there no such time as today to talk about your feelings about them or just a confess . When I started this blog I started it because of the sudden (or it was there but I just didn’t want to acknowledge it) lack of friends. I just felt lonely. Or we can say that before this pandemic I had a lot of friends or acquaintances in my life but during it all…

In start whenever I thought about books or reading I thought about them as a torture. I now know that It was dumb thinking, and I was a total hypocrate to think that. When people told me to read I always said I would try and I meant it but always had a way to excuse to get out of it. When quarantine rolled around I totally got bored of YouTube ( I never thought it was possible, trust it’s still…

Hey,   I’m Tia . I just turned sixteen and I’m a result of many secrets and influence. I love to read . Love to make art (I have my types I’m good at.). I am an introvert mixed with some Extrovert ( that comes out around some people). So,…… I don’t know how people do this blogging thing , but still I’m going to try to get my real thoughts here.  We all know this quarantine had some effects on…

Hey, I’m no parent . That’s why I can’t say anything about how parenting works or how hard it is.  But what I know about parenting I can say that in no parent book or in any one’s mind it’s not fair for them to keep their feelings inside of them. It’s not fair to them and most importantly to us children. When I have my mood swings my mom always comforts me always asks me if I’m okay. They try…

I am sorry. I am sorry we lost our bonds, I am sorry I didn’t try enough. I am sorry that I feel downhearted when I see you make the bonds we had with other people. We grew up together in the same house, we were each other’s friends before we were each other’s brother and sister. Partners in crime, home crazies, game partners, we were everything. But as we grew, I don’t know what happened, we…

I heard this somewhere. "if it's meant to be yours, you would get it" or something along the lines of it. We hear or just read quotes every now-and-then. What is reaction after reading the quote? "oh this is so touching", "arrow to the heart", "so deep". But might I say, we don't implement them in real life do we?.

There are only few things, memories, Criticis, labels or a quote that stick with us. In my case there are too many. Where I lack is I can't enable them on me. I try to, but somewhere I lack the right motivation to do so.

Everyone dreams, my 50% of the day is spent day dreaming, I love to be just me in my world I don't have to answer to other people. I create those scenarios in my mind. Where the people I love never forgot about me, those who were close to me never left, where I could openly tell my parents about my dreams, my passion. I may do what I like regularly, I draw I read, I listen to music. But I'm always afraid that something will happen and I'll lose everything. Sometimes this happens that people do ask me why I like to read. I also that it's for fun, but the part "it helps me escape my hell-hole of a life". Reading gives me purpose or just a inspiration that some people actually go through what they write about. And let me just say. I am a sensitive person, I'll get happy if someone just give a bit of their attention, if I get a bit of their care. And I'll get sad when I become just choice for them. someone they go to for fun or make themselves feel good about themselves.

I am not what I was in 2017 that year gave me the biggest heartbreak, I lost the best friendship I ever had. And that was I year that has lead me to be what I am now. I would apologize for what I am now. But I do feel sorry for my 12 year of self who so naive to believe that some people never leave.

But something changed this year, a chapter has turned for this universe but for us it's a chance to better ourselves. And I'm going to try my best to become the best for me, and only me.

This year for me came with a lot of downs, literally. I had all kinds of slumps and no inspiration to do anything. But to be fair the thing that stopped me most was not my slumps or lack of inspiration. The biggest thing pulling me back from my dreams is the excuses I make. I heard this somewhere. “if it’s meant to be yours, you would get it” or something along the lines of it. We hear or just…

Being alone is like having a hollow in your heart. Being alone is when your in room full of people but you don't feel complete, when you just want to be by yourself but you can't.

So, I was just going through my idea list because simply I couldn't come up with them. I came across this topic I had written 'what it's like to be alone' I was thinking I would have to ask someone else about this one since I didn't actually have much experience in being alone.

Except the fact today I spent this whole day surrounded by people, but still I couldn't help but got a lonely feeling, even though I was surrounded by the people I grew up with, the people I thought I loved the most. Don't get me wrong, I still love them. but sometimes you miss people, sometimes you just want to be close to that people hug them, listen to them talk, and just be close to them. And you know what hurt the most even when you know someone love you, but you also know they don't understand you. Even when they spent your whole life with you, but still they don't get you.

They don't know you, because somewhere in the line of growing up. This generation has stopped to sit down and share, because in this line of growth we also had a lot of obstacles, we are told a lot, we are judged, even when we laugh a lot. No one knows what we have in our minds. No one knows how much we overthink, how much we spent our days and nights figuring out how to be perfect in people's eyes. To be perfect for other people that we forget ourselves. But in between of all of this we forget ourselves, we forget that we have to be there for ourselves to be first for US. No matter how much you may help others but if you forget yourself in the process, then we are properly f*cked.

Why did I write 'we' above because, buddy if you relate with the above sentence as much as I do then we are most likely the same species.

Anyways do you know that feeling when you are just feeling low and the person who kept you up just a few days ago dozen't even acknowledge your presence, the person whom you thought would become an important part and became just that, isn't with you. It happened you know what I did in this case, I just thought 'f*ck it, I'm just going to read a novel'. Because that's what I do when I want to cope up with things. Don't ask me why, I'll explain when I figure it out.

What’s it’s like to be alone

Being alone is like having a hollow in your heart. Being alone is when your in room full of people but you don’t feel complete, when you just want to be by yourself but you can’t. So, I was just going through my idea list because simply I couldn’t come up with them. I came across this topic I had written ‘what it’s like to be alone’ I was thinking I would have to ask someone else about this one…

Love, love, love, peace, calm, steadiness but also vulnerability, laughter, truth, tears and death. You might have heard of the line ‘home isn’t a place, it’s a person’ what I’d like to add to this is that it can be a thing or a passion.  If I’d ever have to associate anything to love, it would be what my home is. Obviously I’d call my parents and brother my first home, it’s like this for…

I’ve said this before, I think but I’ll say it again. I don’t know myself fully yet, no one knows themselves at such young, I think age doesn’t matter when it comes to learning. you never stop learning. It’s basic human nature. And it is the most basic thing ok be could say. When it comes to me, I don’t have an idea what my reaction would be in a certain situation. I don’t have an idea when I’ll…

I think no one (at our age specifically) has an idea what really self-care is. Self-care is not always taking care of yourself. It can be much more than that. Everyone (and I mean every single person in this world) has their own definition of self-care. Self-care is not hidden in how you look or how you carry yourself (well not necessarily) it’s in the way living, it’s in how much you let…

let’s start by defining self-worth.According to Google, it is a sense of one’s value as a human being. For me, it’s how I think about myself. It’s how much I let myself fly or how much I hold myself back. How much I criticise about myself to me or how much I praise myself. I think self worth is never about what people think. I think first we have to get rid of the thought process that makes us…

There are a lot of things that I don’t normally talk about or just casually mention in daily talks, cause somewhere in my heart I know it would do me no good to admit them out loud. Because everyone and their will say it’ll be alright, that you’re completely fine. nobody will tell you that it’s not fine, no one and might I also tell you that a no one has ever told me that something might be wrong…

Don’t let people walk over you like I do.

My whole life I’ve worked around everyone’s schedules other than me. My whole life I’ve thought what people would think if I do a thing. Like I know not everyone is going to support every fucked-up idea of mine, but if someone at least one person is at my side every day, I feel happy I feel fine, I just glow if I have someone who gets me in a way nobody ever could. And you know what? As many…

We live in a world filled with hippocrates, we all just have different ways to get around them.

I don’t know what hiding yourself on a bigger scale even means. I’m just going to think I can understand writing this post. For me hiding myself is hiding what I really am, it means being the most truthful to me and only my materialistic things(believe me when I say I have a lot of them). some of the things i hide is because i don’t want hem tainted by any other people’s shadow(or whatever…