I love SGE I promise

it is ~analysis time~ (again). I think there’s two parts to thus that kind of cross over; 1) Hort was doomed the second Soman tried to make him a serious character and 2) the narrative’s view of him does not line up w what he actually does. I’ve mentioned that second point in a post a bit ago but it’s relevant again so I’m bringing it back up. 

For point 1… basically, I think SGE and AWWP Hort were the best versions of his character bc they were still how he was supposed to be? I think it’s pretty easy to tell that Hort was originally supposed to just be comic relief, and to show how Sophie Is Hot. He doesn’t actually do anything important for the first two books he’s just there to be silly and have terrible luck, but I suppose he does add a bit of humanity and emotion to Evil– he has his moments, the best being the frog pyjamas and the “if I could love, I’d love you” (cute. it was. it was cute.) I think he maybe was also meant to show how the whole “Evil can’t love” thing was damaging, somewhat? He was fun, he was a cute character and he amusing to read abt. BUT THEN. TLEA. He got abs. And then everything went wrong!

GOD LMAO UM-- honestly the meanest point I was gonna make was that the reason Soman made Hort like that is bc he doesn't know how to fathom an attractive boy that's NOT like that, bc all of... uh, Sophie's love interests r dickheads w abs bc Soman thinks that's what's hot and Sophie is basically his self-insert. Also we all know that Hort is Soman's second favourite character so it's no wonder we got a deluge of "omg he's so sweet" bs even tho he doesn't particularly show it, but then he kinda just abandoned Agatha and Tedros (especially Agatha) as it suited him. Like you just gotta look at who gets the witty quips/big speeches/cool moments they are to know who he likes best hhhh.

Also I said "no Hort is not an incel", but like. Can he stop acting like one then. As I said to @devourer--of--books I'm tempted to rewrite the single scene from Fatima Finds A Friend where Hort suggests they should kill Agatha, and change nothing except for the second it gets suggested Tedros starts trying to beat the shit outta Hort. I don't think he even reacted in the book, bc, as above,✧*。SOPHIE ✧*。had to come and intervene with a witty, witty line about Hort being undesirable. (Make your mind up Soman). But yeah Tedros trying to hit Hort with some stick he found on the floor or something... it would be a moment most pleasing to me.

Hort: oh my god I hate him so much. I resent him so deeply, how dare he be sexy when I am in fact not sexy, the fact that Sophie prefers him over me is deeply incomprehensible and henceforth I am going to pile all of my self loathing onto this rando kid I have never spoken to ever in my life, I am filled with such burning hatred--

Tedros: oh look, there's that lil Never kid in my forest group. hey Snort

Hort: