Read Audrey

At the train stop around the corner, there's a man that sells shoes.  He's an older man - 60s or 70 years old, maybe.   He has a lazy eye.  His English is broken and you wouldn't describe his demeanor as "friendly".  He once barked at me in some foreign language for trying to negotiate the cost of resoling my shoes.  I paid full price.  His store is dusty, the shoes are look like they were cobbled in the 70s and the leather jackets hanging in the window are fit for a Las Vegas cowboy.  The smell of rubber, polish and moth balls sometimes seeps into the stairwell.  

He's probably been selling shoes from that store closet for over a decade.  Up until now, the neighborhood has been sketchy.  Not a lot of foot traffic to support a shoe business tucked inside a subway stop in Queens.  Every time I walked passed his store, I wondered how on Earth he was able to make a living selling shoes.  His inventory never seemed to move and I never saw him talking to a customer.  During hot summer days I would catch him sleeping outside on a fold out chair wearing nothing but boxers and a t-shirt, a small fan blowing directly in his face to keep cool.  That's New York for ya.

But as I predicted, over the past two years my neighborhood has sprung into life.  Construction for three luxury condos wakes me up in the morning and there's always a new awning popping up for some small business across the Plaza.  It's exciting times for the neighborhood.  But as I feared, it looks like the end for my dear shoe salesman.  Last night, coming home, I read the words in his front window - "GOING OUT OF BUSINESS SALE".  Time has finally caught up to him.  

Power walking back to my apartment, I wondered what would happen to my dear shoe salesman.  Would he keep selling shoes?  Did he have a family to support?  How does he feel now?  He's been doing the SAME thing for SO LONG that I can't help but wonder if he feels afraid of what's immediately ahead.  I admire people who adapt and embrace change because I'm always dreading worst case scenarios and staving off feelings of failure.  I'm scared to ask myself, "How much is this going to hurt?"

Have you ever had to start over?  Losing someone you love?  Letting go of your business?

A beautifully edited video that asked some of the most friendly creators of the world a simple question - "Are you creatively satisfied?"

When asked this question - I didn't hesistate to answer, 'No.'

If you're a beginner at anything - this is incredibly inspiring. Fight your way through. Create create create. Don't give up.

I just wrapped up my third year attending Brooklyn Beta, and lemme tell ya - it was incredible.  There's nothing like sitting in a room full of the most talented an kind-hearted people on the web.  But what I love most about Brooklyn Beta is that the focus is always on sharing ideas that are above the fold.  Organizers intentionally invite speakers who share ideas that are meant to BIG solve problems.  Problems that plague systems like education, health care and government.  This isn't about discovering the next SnapChat.  It's about bringing people together to use technology that have the power to shake entire people groups to the core. Brooklyn Beta breeds a kind of big picture thinking that a SnapChat could only aspire to evoke.

I'll admit, I didn't immediately recognize Tim O'Reilly and I had to ask a friend what "IRL" meant when Tavi Gevinson humorously said it in her Skype chat with Ira Glass.  Clearly, I have some catchup work.  But my ignorance makes me that much more thankful for the people who make Brooklyn Beta what it is: a gathering of friendly people and a charge to make something for love.

Have you ever watched the the National Spelling Bee championships on EPSN?  It's absolute magic. You watch these kids, you know they're hella smart, they've been working their little tooshies off for this one competition all year.  They're wowing us with their brains and making us laugh at how thick their glasses are.  These kids are handling immense pressure at such a young age.  The focus, the spotlight, the gut-wrenching moment when you can tell if they know how to spell it or if they have no clue.  Who knew that watching kids spell 'numnuh' would be SO awesome?

In a matter of seconds, they epitomize innocence, smarts, focus, agony and relief.  In those rare moments when you can show these things simultaneously, you have a recipe for success.  Being smart gives you credibility and being vulnerable people will let others relate to you on the most basic human level.  Everyone at some point has felt nervousness, joy and defeat.  Whether it's becoming a new parent, getting that dream date, or failing that precious job interview.  We've all been there.  We've felt those emotions.  We've cried those tears.

If you're pitching an investor, demoing your product or telling your company's story, strive to be like these spelling bee kids.  Be at a level where your audience knows you to be prepared, intelligent, and hard working but just as fallible as the rest of us.  It's so hard to pull off, but "bee"ing yourself, really does pay off.  Sorry for the bad joke.

Thanks for reading.

When I told my friends why I was doing The Starter League, many of them asked, “Why are you going all the way to Chicago?  Aren’t there similar programs in NYC?”

My answer: “Most definitely, yes.” There are great programs that teach people to code all over the country, and New York was no exception.  But one thing that made The Starter League stand out was my experience on their website.  The design was super simple.  It had straightforward navigation, links to pertinent information like courses offered, dates and the application process.  Everything one would expect from a well-organized site.  But the three things about their website that made me hit the “Apply” button were credibility, transparency and affability.  Let’s break it down. 

 When looking at The Starter League homepage, you’ll see front and center: “We’ve partnered with 37Signals”.  For me, this was huge.  Being a Chicago native, I keep tabs on awesome companies that come out of my beloved Windy City.  Jason Fried at 37Signals has long been nationally recognized for his thought leadership on entrepreneurship, and seeing his company logo on The Starter League page made me think, “Hey – these guys must be legit if Jason Fried and DHH are willing to put their names behind it.” On top of that, I saw they partnered with great schools like Northwestern University and the University of Chicago.   Instant credibility.  Customer reviews, reputable partnerships and being featured in the press add credibility to your site.  So if you’ve got em, tout em! 

Another reason I chose The Starter League was I felt there was total transparency about every aspect of the program.  For each course, they laid out what would be expected of you as a student, what exactly you’ll be learning and why it’s important.  The pricing structure was well organized, and because the courses were so well articulated, I felt more ready to commit.  Bios of every instructor with links to their background and social media accounts let me do my usual internet stalking to make sure these folks were worth learning from.   And even though I saw some questionable haircut choices by Shay, I felt I had the enough depth of understanding that my tuition was going to be worth it.  People want to see your product with crystal clear transparency, so showcase it thoroughly and honestly. 

Finally, and I believe most importantly, The Starter League site pulled off something that’s pretty tough – affability.  The site made me LIKE them.  I had never met the people behind The Starter League before, but the site made me feel like I wanted to know them better.  Photos of smiling faces, videos of down to Earth mentors and solid copywriting made me appreciate The Starter League team and relate to their cause.  Since the courses in person and high touch, feeling part of their community was hugely important.  I wanted to know I would I fit in, that I was rubbing shoulders with people that were like me and shared the same ideas and passion about learning.  The tag line above the apply button really sold me.  I thought, “Hey, that’s me!  I want to make a dent in the universe too!” 

   Adding the right amount of personality to your site can do wonders for your conversion, plus writing lengthily paragraphs with hoity toity language is sooooo 10 years ago ;)   Fred Wilson, one of the most well respected VCs in New York has pretty popular blog post related to product personality: Minimum Viable Personality.  So if you’re building a websites, level with your readers.  Have credibility.  Be completely transparent.  Make them like you.  They’ll thank you for it by becoming a loyal customer.

My grandmother, a fiercely independent woman of 86 years contracted Shingles a week ago.  Related to Chicken Pox, Shingles is a virus that is excruciatingly painful and could lead to long term chronic pain and even blindness in the elderly.  Imagine having the most painful mouth sore, but instead its spread all over one side of your face, into your eye and through your scalp.  You can't see.  Suddenly, the world is gone.  Combine that with fever, chills and dizziness.  Then when you're getting better, the searing pain turns into the most aggravating itchiness.  It's hard to sleep, eat or even use the bathroom.  In my grandmothers case, she's also suffering from extreme disorientation and loss of memory.  She doesn't recognize her own daughter (my Mom) and has no idea she's been in the hospital for the past week.  My grandmother went from being sharp as nails and totally mobile to seeing imaginary pots of boiling stew and wetting her pants.  My heart is broken.

Reminiscing about my favorite style notebook: the research lab notebook. Grid paper with a tight wire bounding.  Oh the glory of it.

My actual Chemistry notebook at U of I.  Mechanical pencil is a must have.

Everything lined up.  My tables were a thing of perfection.  The grid  improved my organization and penmanship.  I did better in classes that had these notebooks.  Not only because my notes were beautiful, but because there was usually a pre-lab.

I'm huge fan of the pre-lab.  I finally get why all my science teachers made us read the lab before actually doing it.  It's because if you are learning something new, you probably won't really get it the first time you meet it.  Sure, some are better at quick comprehension, but I think even the best and the brightest can benefit from it.  Pre-labs, pre-work, pre-reading - it wets the pallet for whats to come.  So when you're in the middle of doing it, things finally click.  Sound obvious, but only recently did I fully understand how a little bit a pre-work goes a really long ways.

In my Starter League classes, Shay has us read the next weeks lesson before actually teaching the lesson.  I've found this really helpful.  I read the lesson, understand it at a high level - but if you asked me to jump in and code what I just read, I'd draw a blank.  Nothing gained.  But when I've done the reading before class, then listen to the Shay talk about what I've just read, the pieces start coming together.  Lightbulbs go off.    I'm way more engaged.  I feel more confident.

I wish I was like Data from Star Trek. Wouldn't it be great to learn something once and have it forever stored stored in your neuro processor?  

There are a lot of startup ideas floating around.

What has been will be again,

what has been done will be done again;

there is nothing new under the sun.

- King Solomon

Skeptics are children of doubt.  They read the news.  They've seen it before, and it doesn't have a happy ending.  They've been let down by friends, beat down their bosses and seen their heros fall.  Every time a skeptic hurts, an emotional scar slowly forms, numbing away their ability to believe in something better.  Skeptics rarely forget.

Realists too remember the ugly parts, but they separate what happened with what could be.  Realists combine fact and experience, but believe their fate is not sealed.  Their thoughts are not mired by the sting of memories past.  Realists know they have the scars, but aren't afraid of getting more. 

So, you know it's getting interesting when you're up all night :

reading Git Immersion ...

on your iPhone ...

under the covers ...

in the dark ...

$ git checkout -b latenight 

$ git status

# nothing to commit - have tech hangover 

Whatever happened to reading comics with a flashlight?

Two years ago, I packed up my Long Island City bedroom overlooking Manhattan to travel the world.  My friends wished me 'Bon Voyage!' and I had a stomach full of butterflies.

I had quit my job and bought a one way ticket to Australia.  My exact itinerary was unknown, I just knew that I was going away.  Far far away.  For the next three months, I was going to see the world.  I was going to do what folks in cubicles only dream about.  The plan was:

Treat myself to a trip around the world

Come back to New York

Start my business.  

After riding elephants, petting tigers and seeing the most beautiful beaches in the world, that's exactly what I did.  

I was pretty freaked about starting a business.  

Tiger? — yea whatever.

I didn't know what I was doing, but I trusted myself enough to figure stuff out along the way.  I knew if I waited to accumulate all the knowledge to run a business before actually starting one, it would never happen.  And I didn't have the time or patience to wait around for a bolt of lightning to tell me I was ready.  I just don't think life works like that. Most people don't want to start the race until they feel fully trained, have the entire strategy figured out and know they can win.  But for me, I couldn't wait.  I knew that as long as I kept my head on straight every day, that no matter what happened, I would always land on my feet.  Failure in my business was probable, but if I asked a lot of questions and had the discipline to learn, personal success was guaranteed.

Fast forward 2 years, and I am once again packing up my room.  But this time, I'm not going too far.  This time, I'm going to Chicago to learn front end development at The Starter League.  Life is full of surprises.  One of my biggest surprises from this past year is my obsession with learning how to code.  I never thought that I would be one to get my hands dirty with brackets and tags, but somewhere along the way, I've gotten caught up in the mud -- and I love it.  I can't get myself to stop.  I'm spending all hours of the day in Sublime Text 2 and have tested out more broken lines of code than I could ever count.  

It's a long and arduous task, learning to code is.  It always makes me a little miffed when I hear someone say, "Oh, it's easy. Just do it like this... [types one line, then done]."

 My reaction -

I don't have an engineering background and my brain doesn't seem to work the same way as my computer nerd friends.  It's frustrating.  I feel like a little person trying to climb a mountain.  But what I lack in natural ability, I making up with laser focused determination.  Maybe it's just me being stubborn.  I simply CAN'T give up.  I reFUSE to give up.   Take THAT you insufferable semicolons!

So that's why I'm spending the little money I have left on the Advanced HTML/CSS at the Starter League in Chicago.  I've been teaching myself for a while now, and I hope the program will give me the structure and support that I've been lacking these past few months.  If I must be a little person climbing Mount Everest, at least I'll have a map, a sherpaa and some hiking buddies.   

Will this detour on my entrepreneurship adventure pan out?  I had my first class yesterday.  I think it will.  

Thanks for reading!

Today I was walking a pair of dogs by the Stanton playgrounds when I heard a teenage boy screaming.  I turned around and was disturbed at what I saw.  The teenage boy was screaming at a beautiful young girl.  I can only assume she was his boyfriend.  

He was screaming things like, "GET THE F*CK OUT OF MY FACE!  GET the F*CK AWAY FROM ME!" If we weren't in a public place, I think he would have gotten physical.

I don't know what he was so mad about, but he was not afraid to show it.  Embarrassed, the girl just stood there and discretely looked around to see if anyone was watching.  She was so pretty.  Long hair, put together but I could tell she was young.  I glared in his direction, hoping that the attention would at least get him to lower his voice. 

I've seen my fair share of men losing their tempers.  But this was beyond that.  This was down right disrespectful.  I could tell by the tone of his voice and his body language that he lacked self control and that he's probably a habitual screamer, possibly abusive.  Every decent guy that I know would agree - there is absolutely no excuse for treating a woman like that.  Even if she had done something horrible, there's no excuse for that kind of behavior.  Period.

What bothered me more was that the girl was okay being treated that way.  She just stood there, leaning in, pleading for him to listen - like she deserved what she got.  I wanted her to turn around and just walk away.  It makes me sad to think that there are so many women out there that don't know their worth.  They don't realize that they're entitled to something better.  They live in fear of being alone, being rejected - even if it's by someone that abuses them.

I don't pretend to know what it's like to be a women in that spot.  I've never had to deal with abusive men like that, so I recognize that I've been extremely lucky in this regard.  I have been surrounded by only the best and most honorable of men my entire life.  My Dad, my brothers, my guy friends - they have shaped me into the woman that I am today and I'm so incredibly thankful that they've always treated me with tenderness and respect.  

But I'm writing this so that women out there can know that even though they may not have the strength to stand up for themselves today, they CAN be strong enough someday.  We all have it in us to make better choices for ourselves, regardless of how bleak and scary the future may be.  We have the right to expect more - to have higher standards.  We have the capacity to love and be loved.  Let's pray that strength will come soon.  

Thanks for reading.

When I studied abroad in London my junior year in college, I took a bus tour of Scotland.  Back then, Braveheart was still in peoples "Top Ten" lists and I was a loyalist to Mike Meyers.  Scotland was amazing.  Quirky people, controversial Haggis and beautiful mountains all mixed up into one little country with a big personality.

On the last leg of the bus tour, we stopped for a hike up a gorgeous mountain.  Nothing too stressful, but it wasn't for the light hearted.  The tour guide warned us that if you weren't prepared for some steep climbs and rocky patches, might be best to stay back.  And of course, some people on the bus did stay back.  But for me, staying back wasn't an option.  I sized up the group going up the mountain and thought, "If these people can do it, surely I can too."

The climb was hard.  My heart was racing, but when I got into the rhythm of putting one foot in front of the other, I noticed something interesting.  Every time I came close to the hiker in front of me, I would politely pass them.  It was instinctive.  My strides were longer, my pace was faster and I felt more energized than before.

Of course, I was not in direct competition with my bus-mates.  They were my friends.  But on this particular hike, I was not comfortable being at the back of the line.  I had to float forward.  I had to get ahead.

When I look at the path of an entrepreneur, it's so much like climbing a huge mountain.  On the way, there are steep climbs that can sometimes end in breathtaking views.  Descending as be as treacherous as ascending.  You could easily lose your way, decide to stop and go back down or just sit on a rock and cry.

But if there's a type of entrepreneur that I admire, it's the floater.  The one that after time, will rise to the top.  They'll get to the head of the line.  Not with shady shortcuts or by stepping on others, they'll get there because being in the back of the line simply isn't satisfactory to them.   You don't want to be staring at someones ass all day.  You want to be at the head of the group that's scoping opportunity, making wise decisions and thoughtfully leading others to a promised land.

I'd like to think I have this trait, but only more time on the mountain will reveal how far I go and how high I float.  Laces tied, fingers crossed.

Thanks for reading!

Last Friday morning, I woke up early to call LIC Market to let them know a party of 7 people were coming in for breakfast.  It's my favorite brunch place and it can get quite busy.  I had some very important people coming this breakfast, so I didn't want to mess it up.

When I arrived, I was delighted to know that over half my guests had already been seated and we comfortably had the whole restaurant to ourselves.

This breakfast was the brainchild that came from me and a new friend of mine, Jorge Torres.  While meeting over a panini to discuss the adventures of startup capital, we soon realized that we're both residents of Long Island City.  I clasped my hand to my chest, tilted my head and said to Jorge,

"I have a heart for LIC!".  

"I do too!" he said.  

After gabbing about our favorite LIC spots, Jorge pitched me this idea of starting an LIC Tech Breakfast: an intimate event where founders of startups can sit down, share about their needs and and help each other be better entrepreneurs.  I was immediately sold.  We shook hands and the LIC TB was born.  

Our first breakfast went really well.  We hope to start a tradition that whenever you bring a new guest, you introduce them to the group.  I love this idea.  Just feels more personal and fun.  Jorge and I took a few minutes each to warmly introduce each guest with some short stories and a brief description of their startups. Our guests were

Rodrigo Fuentes, Co-Founder & CEO Dejamor

Ben Guttmann, CEO at Digital Natives Group

Richard Seewald, Partner, Alpha Associates

Peter Lada, CTO, Founder at Easy Pairings and

Amol Sarva, Co-founder of Peek and Virgin Mobile USA  

One thing Jorge mentioned that we want these breakfasts be smaller and focused on company founders.  Founders are the backbone of growth a community and really bare the weight of driving innovation and change in the world.  But the road of a founder is a lonely and treacherous one.  Since perception is reality, many times founders are forced to suppress concerns and downplay real issues that their businesses face.  We want these breakfasts to be a safe place where founders can share openly without having to "pitch or puff" to the outside world.  I sincerely hope we're able to continue this tradition and be that supportive group that founders so desperately need. 

On top of the ever so popular Beer Garden, there are great things in LIC.  Especially in areas of real estate and tech, more things are happening every year. 

I love LIC.  The rent is decent, the food is great and there are many talented artists hiding out in the neighborhoods.  I know LIC will soon become a destination for New Yorkers.  And for the record, LIC is in Queens.  Yes, Queens.

Thanks for reading!

@audreyhtan

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