It is your choice to read or write your life

The Ballad of a Scholar

As the saying goes: “Knowledge is power".

Power which can help to create or devour.

Power which is often so underrated.

But not by one scholar, who it awaited.

The scholar was not only rich, but also clever.

The kind who knew how to do it better,

How to implement their ambitious proposal,

How to create a kingdom for only their disposal.

“I started from the bottom,” the scholar would claim.

Of course, they didn't use their father's good name.

To be a young counselor must have been so rough.

Especially when you have your family's buff.

The scholar wasn't held in the king's high esteem.

For him their ideas were far too extreme.

However, the king was old and died soon after,

Accompanied by the young scholar's mean laughter.

The king's young daughter became a queen,

And a new opportunity for the scholar was seen.

Around the queen was woven a web of lies,

The master of which the queen did not recognize.

It wasn't hard for the scholar to commit treason.

After all, they had their own justifying reason.

It was all queen's mistake to choose a mate,

Who was always fake for the good of the state.

New ruler began their reign with bloodshed and war.

“It's all for the state's good,” they passionately swore.

And when the pawns asked the ruler for mercy,

The ruler did not allow stir up controversy.

And so the great kingdom was finally built,

The ruler of which did not feel any guilt

For all the poor lives that they gave for their win.

The Ballad of a Queen

Each kingdom has a queen.

Our story is no exception.

Our queen was a bright teen,

Who fell for a cruel deception

Her fate was not to bother

About her sitting on a throne.

But her king and loving father

Turned into a gravestone.

As king's only living child,

She had no other choice,

But to dive into the wild

Of the political noise.

In this world of sacrifices

The girl had her one last hope -

A person with great advices,

That saved from a downslope

She put in them all of her trust

And chose them over everything.

Even her duty did combust

In a duel with a wedding ring

The girl was happy all her life

With the person that she loved.

The girl was a great wife,

Despite that she was unloved.

The queen, though, was defeated.

By her own counsil was overthrown.

The leader of those, who cheated,

Was the one who stood behind her throne.

That day both, queen and girl, has died.

One was killed by her country's rage.

The other one was by her lover terrified.

1. Warns the reader that there’ll be a lot of fluff/angst in the work and then writes only a few paragraphs of it.

Intro

Let me tell you a story that possesses no lies,

About the heroes, their wrongs and their rights.

Let me tell you a story that has nothing but truth,

About the people who can be mean and rude.

Let me tell you of a queen, known for her love.

A queen who was gentler than a white dove.

A queen who forgot that she's a ruler not a person,

And let the wars inside her kingdom worsen.

Let me tell you of a scholar, known for their wisdom.

A scholar who built the most powerful kingdom.

A scholar who played with other people’s hearts,

And didn't even feel guilty for their cruel farce.

Let me tell you of a soldier, known for his wins.

A soldier who received his rulers’ wide grins.

A soldier who had so much blood on his hands,

That it could flood all of the kingdoms' lands.

Let me tell you of a monk, known for her piety.

A monk who was well-respected by the society.

A monk who now was nothing but a faint ghost,

Of a girl that her father once for a bottle sold.

Let me tell you of a healer, known for their skills.

A healer who could save from any serious ills.

A healer who has long forgotten all of their vows,

Since their only beloved one was deep underground.

Let me tell you of a bard, known for his songs.

A bard who enchanted the others with his words.

A bard who knew that he was nothing but a fake,

And wouldn't do a thing for other people's sake.

Let me be your teller, unknown for others’ stories.

A teller who shares with other people's worries.

A teller who has just started another fairy tale,

"It was a bad idea" - Yeah, no shit, I know. [Grunts]

"Was such a bad idea" - I know, I know. I already regret all my life decisions. [Sobs]

"Darling, you're so pretty, it hurts" - Thanks. I feel like shit, though.

"Darling, are you ready for more?" - No, please, stop. Please, stop, let me just die. I hate it so-

1. What is the origin of the phrase “Geese saved Rome"?

When Rome was attacked by dogs…

2. What is the origin of the phrase “Hannibal's Oath”?

Hannibal had a father. When he lost, he got angry. During Hannibal's birth, he took him to the temple and made him swear that he would win no matter what.

3. What happened to Carthage at the end of the Second Punic War?

The film is based on the novel of the same name by Robert Harris, and the novel is based on a true story that took place in France in the 1890s.

It's about the Dreyfus affair - a political scandal where a French artillery officer of Jewish descent, was wrongfully convicted of treason. In response to the events of the affair Émile Zola published an open letter where he accused the government of antisemitism. The main storyline tells about an officer Georges Picquart, who tried to “find the truth”.

I really liked this film from two points of view. The first one is language. French isn't my first language, so it was very important for me to find something in French that is comprehensible for a foreigner. The second one is the cast. It seems to me that the actors are very similar to their prototypes and that's a huge advantage.

But instead,

I wish I could write it in my native language. What if I try? No, fuck, that's too awkward.

How do you translate this word in English? No. No. No. All these words don't have the correct intuitive subtext and etymological background. Okay, let's stick with this one but I'll look for something better (never will find anything better).

English is so stupid.

What time should I use here?

No, I don't want to make this sentence any shorter! If English doesn't like “;”, it's not my problem!

I have no idea how punctuation works, so I'll just use the punctuation of my language.

Does this word really mean it, or am I confusing it with another one?

Does this phrasal verb work like this? Oh, not at all. Come on! What am I looking for then? Oh, it's supposed to be “off” not “on”. Who cares? I was close.

Can this word be used in this context? Because I usually see it in smut but according to the dictionary it's totally fine… Whatever, better to find a safer synonym.

I *bump* hate*bump* English *bump*! It's not even a language!

What is their version of this proverb? The stupid one. Okay, that means that my readers will learn some of the wisdom of my country.

How do I spell *the name from the native language* in English? How? Why does it have more letters than in my native language?

I know a perfect swearing for this dialog but Internet translates it as “fuck”. What should I do?

I will never write anything in English again. I'll find someone who will translate it instead of me.

Oh, that's a good word! I don't know where I'll use it but I'll use it somewhere to show off. My vocabulary is so rich.

What did I write last time? What does this word mean? Is this a typo? No, seriously, I don't know this word, what does it mean? It doesn't make any sense.

Maybe I'll just write it in my native language and then translate it via the Internet?

I don't care that English doesn't structure sentences this way! I have to word it this way because otherwise it's not the same!

I have a joke based on the word play that works only in my language. What should I do?

British, American - whatever. Be grateful that it's still English.

How you pronounce this word? No way.

/Parodying TV series and films/

I will never write anything again.

Fucking articles.

Artists' modesty is so irritating. We, as consumers, should make them more arrogant (in a good way). Because, you know these people who say, “Oh, it's literally just a sketch that I drew on my knee in a minute,” and then show something like this:

Well, I don't want to offend anyone, but I'm starting to believe that they're downplaying it a little bit, because I also tried to draw this on my knee in a minute, and I got this:

Don't get me wrong, I mean, these are perfect works of art, and, my God, my drawings are so good, but it seems they are a little bit not that good.

So, I just wanted to say: